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% vn * F N W-x. Volume Helena, Montana, Thursday, January 7, 1886. No. R. E. FISK D. W FISK, A. J. FISK, Publishers and Proprietors. Largest Circulation of any Faperin Montana --O Rates of Subscription. WEEKLY^HERALD : One Year, (in advance)............................. $3 00 Hix Month«, (In advance)............................... 2 00 Three Month«, (in advance)........................... 1 00 When not paid for in advance the rate will he Four Dollars per yeati Postage, in all cases. Prepaid. DAILY HERALD: Cty Subacribers.delivered by carrier,fl 50 a month One Year, by mail, (in advance)..................412 00 Hix Months, by mail, (in advance)............... 6 00 Tdree Months, by mail, (in advance)........... 3 00 Ä#"A11 communications should he addressed to FISK BROS., Publishers, Helena, Montana. TIIE UNFRUITFUL TREE. There stood in a neautiful garden A tall and stately tree; Crowned with shining leafage. It was wondrous fair to see. But the tree was always fruitless ; Never a blossom grew On its long and beautiful branches The whole bright season through. The lord of the garden saw it. And he said when the leaves were sere 'Cut down this tree as worthless, And plant another here. My garden is not for beauty Alone' hut for fruit as well. And no barren tree must cumber The place in which 1 dwell." The gardener heard in sorrow. Cor be loved the barren tree As -e love some things a*>out us 'rim» are only fear to see. ! * 'ne season longer— *•— 1 pray," .is master d answered. "Nay." Then i, r tiug about it. Ami cut Ute . jo.s apart. And the fear of the fate before it Struck home to the poor tree's heart. Faithful and true to his master. Yet loving the tree so well. The gardener toiled in sorrow Till the stormy evening fell. "To-morrow," lie said, "1 will finish The task that I have begun.'' But the morrow was wild with tempest, And the work remained undone. And through all the long bleak winter There sUmkI the desolate tree. With the cold, white snow about it, A sorrowful thing to see. At Inst the sweet spring weather Made glad the hearts of men. And the tree in the lord's fair garden Put forth their leaves again. ' I will finish my task to-morrow," The busy gardener said. And thought, with a thrill of sorrow. That the beautiful tree was dead. The lord came into his garden At an early hour next day. And then to the task unfinished The gardener led the way, And lo. all white with blossoms. Fairer than ever to see, In its promise of corning fruitage. There stood the beautiful tree! "It is well." said the lord of the gerden, And he and the gardener knew That out of its loss and trial Its promise of fruitfulness grew. 't is so with some living that cumber For a time the Lord's domain ; Out of trial and mighty sorrow There cometh a countless gain. An I fruit for the Master's pleasure Is born of loss and pain. •NO CLASSES.'' "No classes" here ? Why. that is idle talk. The village beau sneers at the country boor; The importuning mendicants who walk Our city streets despise the parish poor. The daily toiler at some noisy loom Holds back her garments from the kitchen I maid ; Meanwhile the latter leans upon her broom. Unconscious of the bow the laundress made. : , i '< I j ' I j The grocer's daughter eyes the farmer's lass With haughty glances. M-liile the lawyer's wife Would pay no visits from the trailing class If policy were not her creed in life. The merchant's sou nods coldly at the clerk ; The proud possessor of a pedigree Ignores the youth whose father rose by M'ork — The title-seeking maiden scorns ail three. The aristocracy of blood looks down Upon the nouveaux rich, and in disdain The lovers of the intellectual froa n On both, and worship at the shrine of Brain. "No classes here," the clergyman has said; "We are one family." You see his rage And horror when his favorite son would wed Some pure and pretty player on the stage. It is the vain, and natural human way Of vaunting our weak selves our pride, our worth! ....... Not till the long-delayed millennial day Shall we behold "No classes" on God s earth. Labor Lost. \ [Brooklyn Magazine.] Th^ following incident is authoritatively told oi', a New York merchant residing on Hancock; street, in Brooklyn. Although a gentleman of comfortable means, the mer chant has frequently economical tits. De siring to surprise his w ife upon her return from the country, Mr. - concluded to undertake the task of t arnishing his dining room, which had lost some of its lustre. After devoting some little time to searching for a pot of varnish which had been used on previous occasions, the merchant, coatless and with rolled up sleeves, began the job, which, after a labor of over eight hours, he finished to his entire satisfaction. The following morning he rose early and his first mission w as to examine his work. Greatly to his surprise he found upon enter ing the room, that the "varnish" had not dried a particle, although both doors and windows had been left open. A closer ex amination disclosed the fact that unfortu nately he had not found the pot of varnish, and had actually varnished his entire dining room w ith maple syrup 1 This is a true in cident in which the facts are exactly as here related. Prosperity of a California Editor. iMerced Express. 1 Some of our creditors intimated to us this week that the printing business must be good. We wish to say that if they have discovered any sigr.s of prosperity it was uot brought : J «out in any legitimate business. Four aces .md a ten spot furnished the money to pro duce the improvement. Her Only Weakness. J? [Fall River Advance ] Bravery : w hy there is no bravery like that cf a true woman. Neither poverty nor want can vanquish it. Living for those she loves and loved by those with n-hom she lives—nor «langer, nor disease, nor disaster can appal her; aud she will bear scorn, contumely and cruelty v. ithout a murmur or a cry, aud defy the world to do its worst— provided always that she doesn't happen to si« a mcuM whü« her Lravi ry is being tested. THE FORTY-NINTH CONGRESS. Washington, Dec. 9.—t hese opening clays of congress are, for all the world, like the first days in school after vacation. We all remember them, and how little was accom plished other than the making of acquaint ances or the renewal of old friendships. It is just so here. And one could not help re mark it when look ing down from the crowded reporters' roost, back of the speaker, on the members of the house below. They would come strag gling in, stop for a while in the aisles, to shake hands or chat for a moment, then on reaching their desks many would unlock and raise the top of the desk, and peer in, just as we used to w. / B SPEAKER CARLISLE, do to see if any slate pencils or other relics had been left over from last term by our selves or other occupant. Then the ink bottle and receptacle for pens is examined, a stretch is taken in the chair and the whole outfit is thoroughly tested then aud there, for every school boy knows that the first day is the one to complain about the accommoda tions, while the teacher is in gracious humor. The way in which the members twist around in their seats, the restlessness ol their hands and feet, their frequent meddling with the heat regulators in the floor, all indi cate that they are not yet accustomed to the restraint of school discipline, and emphasize« the thought that men, evpn though member* of congress, are truly "children of .larger growth." The actions of the new member* are most conspicu 6ftN0L tv ous. They try to appear at home at once, but their very endeavor seems to add to their embar rassment. The suc cessor to the viva cious "Sunset" Cox is an example. Hi« name is Campbell. In New York he is called "Tim" Campbell for short. He tills Sunset's chair almost twice over in avoirdu pois. He appears I WILLIAM H. MORRISON, to l>e in a tight place, ami the air of the house is uncomfortably warm for him. Then there : is another type of a newcomer: the Hon. William L. Scott, the twelve-millionaire rep , resentative from Erie. Pa., ami the richest man in the house. One can imagine him saying to himself, as he cramps himself lie fore Lis school desk: "Well, I'm here at last, but 1 don't feel as if I'm such a thundering fellow after all. I don't know but I Mould just as lief sneak back home if the teacher would ouly let me go." But then there are i old scholars, M ho have been hero for many ter mu, Mho could have graduated long ago. They are at ease. Many of them have charge of classes, in the position of chairmen of the various committees. As the arranging of classes and the choosing of teachers in the various branches is the important business '< on hand, now let us look at the professors that are retained under the old principal, I Carlisle. It was a fortunate circumstance for the Democrats that Mr. Carlisle M as acceptable to the majority as speaker for it saved them j dividing at a time m hen they need to present ' a solid front to their opponents. .Since the I Forty-ninth congress has opened its doors j and begun to formulate history, it is looked upon here as likely to be one of the most in teresting sessions 'll since the war. There seems to be no positive line of action decided on by either of the great parties. Their positions being changed explains it probably, the here tofore aggressive Democratic pha lanx in the house is now placed on its good behavior, while the Republi can members, who J. randall, have so long been on the defensive, seem to be undecided as to the best plan of attack. Both sides appear to be waiting to see which way the cat jumps. Mr. Carlisle, the speaker, has just passed his 50th year. He apyiears in his prime, and capable of much hard work yet. This is his fifth term in congres-. He was elected speaker on Dec. 3, ISST an l h a| given pretty general satisfaction to hia party by his equitable management of the frying position. He is also geographically from the right section of country. Kentucky, on account of its central location, best satis, ties the majority. Furthermore, it is said that he is in the very best accord with the president. Now as to the chairmansliip« ol the stau ling committees of the horse, among fthz irv-jst important ones are those of tb< ways and means, the appropriations, coinage, commerce, rivers ànd harbors and public lands. Speaker Carlisle will retain the old chairmen of all these committees, as they have been re-elected. Tli9 chairman of the ways and mean«, William R. Morrison, "Horiz mtal Bill," as he is best known, walki in M ith the same determined, grim expression on his face. He suggests the late Gen. Grant slightly, only that his face has more lines iu it. This is his eighth term in congress. He is not considered "any great shakes" as * speaker or debater, but iu the quieter com mittee room or lobby he is a little Napoleon in the way he leads and organizes m»m H* is from Waterloo, Lis., a name which has not the significance in his case that it bore to the first Napoleon An excellent speaker in caucus is Richard P. Bland, of the committee on coinage, He will go into history as the sponsor for the silver dollar. Bland is another Ken tuekinn. though he left his native state at the age of 20, and was a rolling stone for the fol lowing tea years, until 1865, when he settled in Missouri. He has been largely interested in min ing ojK-ratious in California and Ne vada. He has an insinuating way of JOHN h. Reagan. promoting the cause of silver, which may not be "childlike," but is always "Bland," like Bret Harte's "Heathen Chinee." The very important committee on ap * X propriations will have the stalwart, Sam uel J. Randall, at its head. His expe rience in congress dates back a dozer terms, or since December, 1863. He leach the protection wing of the Democ ratic party, and can be relied on while he lives to never flinch from bis position. Certain poses of his head suggest Edwin Booth, and Randall would undoubtedly have made a great actor bad he not l>eoome, as his friends claim, the liest type of legislator of our day. John H. Reagan, of Texas, is the chairman of the committee on commerce. Interstate commerce is bis hobby, and to this question he has devoted a m dozen years of hi* life. Reagan waa from Tennessee or iginally. At the age of 21 he emigrated into the republic of Texas. Six year* later the republic was annexed, and Reagan went into the state house cd representatives and has been an old war hone since. He fol ALBERT 8. WILLIS, lowed his state into the confederacy, being postmaster general of their provisional gov ernment, which office he continued after their permaneut organization was formed. Albert 8. Willis is still another Kentuckian and a wann friend of Speaker Carlisle. He is one of the young men of the bouse, being but 42 years of age. He has been eight years in congress, and is reappointed to his old place in charge of the committee on rivers and harbors. The chairmanship of the committee on* public lands is tilled by Thomas R. Cobb, of Indiana. He be gan his career here in the forty-fifth congress with Wil lis. The old com mittee on naval affairs has lost four of its leading men, the most notable being "Sunset" Cox, who will, in deed, be missed. It is too early, though. •r Sr m A IN. \*s THOMAS R. COBB. to sav who shall he missed, for the present house li *s plenty of good material to develop new leadei s, aud may the best men win. S. H. H. President of the Senate. John Sherman, the president of the senate and successor of the president, in case he dies in office, m bs liorn at Lancaster. O., May 10, 1*23. His father was a judge of the supreme court of that state. M ho died M hen John mus 7 years old, leaving a M'idow and eleven children. The family M as scattered, and a cousin of his father's, named also John Sher man, took John to his home at Mount Ver non. where he staved four years, going to the district school. When about 17 years old he Meut into the law office of his brother, Charles T. Sherman, and studied laM-, He M as admitted to the l>ar in 1844, and M ent into partnership Mith his brother at Mans field. He made a successful laM-yer. 'r ■ s' V: m w> m JOHN SHERMAN. In 184S he was a delegate to the Whig con vention at Philadelphia which nominated Gen. Taylor for president. In 1852 he was a senatorial delegate to the Baltimore conven tion that nominated Gen. Scott. His position as a conservative Whig during the alarm and excitement consequent upon the attempt to repeal the Missouri compromise secured his election to the Thirty-fourth congress. In 1860 he M as again elected to congress. In March, 18G1, Mr. Sherman was elected to fill the vacancy in the senate caused by the resignation of Salmon P. Chase, who had become Lincoln's secretary of the treasury. Mr. Sherman was re-elected to the senate in 1867, and again in 1873. In 1877 President Hayes appointed Mr. Sherman secretary of the treasury. In 188J Mr. Sherman was a prominent candidate for the presidential nomination. It M-as as the leader of the Ohio delegation, pledged to Sherman, that Garfield had a seat in the Chicago convention. Garfield mads fUe speech putting Sherman's name into nomination, but Sherman wasn't nominated nnd Garfield was. In January, 1881, Mr. Sherman was elected to the seriate for a fourth term, to succeed Mr. Thurman, this being the term ior which Garfield M as chosen and which he declined just prior to his inau«euration. He Hid Not Own the Trank. [Healdsburg (CaL ) Enterprise.) At one of the stations of thi San Fran cisco ani N h Pacific railroad a few Sun days sic n e'.derlv gentleman got iff the cars to take brief observations during the stoppage of the train. The assistant at the station rushed out aud rnadi a regular bag gage smaTier's attack on a trunk, which he slammed about u'ith a reckless disregard for consequme v. Ti e old man interpjsed: "Yeung man, M-on'tyou break that trunk? ' The "young man" turned a withering look upon the ol 1 gentleman and impulently ii quite i: "Wnat'3 the ma; ter with you? Do you own this trunk?" "No, sir!" came back in n tone that evincod much mligna tiou, "but I 11 have you to understand, sir, that Iowa this railroad." As Co. Don uu9 moved back to the train tho limp young man redinod again-t the station for support. Carrying Out naiirusUOtté. [Stockton Maverick.] Little Jenny's big sister is entertaining Mr. Skibliors and thinks she can get along with out Jenny's assistance, so she pats the little oi>3 on the head and says: "Come, little pet, it is time your eyes wevs closed in sleep." "Ghess not," says Jenny; "mother told me to keep my eyes open when you and Mr. Skibbers Mere together." JAY GOULD LEAVES WALL STREET. Portraits and Sketches of Him—His Part* Der», Wicked and Otherwise. [SpOüal Correspondence.] New York, Dec. 9.—A ripple passed over the waves of Wall street at the announce« ment that Jay Gould would sever active con nection with itj| speculations at the end of the year. Nett Yorkers speak of Wallstreet simply as "thejtreet." For the last tune years Mr. Gould has been a special partner in the firm of Washington E. Connor & Co. This firm consisted of Connor, G. P. Morosini, Jay Gould and hia J. , The sou also goes out with his sou George •. father. "I have Wall street nearly twenty-five years in Gould, speaking of his retirement, "and it is about time, I think, that I made way for younger and more active men. I am nearly fifty years old and have earned a rest. My connection with Wall street, how ever, has been slight for a long time. I sold out all my speculative hold ings during the jay GOUld. summer and the change, so faE as I am concerned, will be therefore hardly a change at all. A year ago I contemplate*! thü step, but was prevented by certain reasons from taking it. There could not be a.better time than the preeent for me to dissolve absolutely all connection with stock speculation. Confidence has been largely restored and the business of the country now rtsts on substantial foundations. I cannot tie charged with having abaniloned a sinking shipjfor I have clung to it through pleasaut weather now afc «5*5 % A SÄfc ter. That peculiar, long, strong nuse goes with the money king. Geo. J., the other Ja}'« son, does not have it. Yet the young man himself is "no slouch" of a finan cier, Mith hfs pa's millions to back, him. George vice-president of the organizations of M-hich his father still retains control and is president. These are chiefly george j. gould. the Western Union Telegraph company, the Manhattan Elevated railroads of New York, and the Missouri Pacific. The elder Mr. Gould departs for a long cruise upon his yacht Atalanta, the first of the year, and George Mill manage his business interests during his absence. There is nothing of the dude about the young man. He is now 24 years old, very good looking, and a manly, athletic youth. He has dark hair and eyes. He is a noted amateur boxer among the New York young men about town. He is entirely devoted to his father, and regards him M-ith as much respect and affection as if father and son were both poor people. George Gould was one of the youngest members of the stock exchange before his retirement He is modest and good-natured, and very popular. His father early put him in training for business. He gave him the management of the Grand Opera house, and also bought The New York World for him on which to try his youthful powers of plan ning and directing. Jay Gould has six chil dren, four sons aud tM'o daughters. The firm of W. E. Connor & Co. M'ill con tinue in some shape. Connor aud Morosini will perhaps retire from active participation in its affairs, and take into the company jome of the y oung men about the office as working partners. Jay Gould thinks they ought to retire, and he ought to know. He says: "Both have more money than any man has a right to have. Mr. Connor is worth a million at least, and Mr. Morosini two or three times as much. The new firm will have my hearty good will in all its enter prises. There never has been any interrup tion of the good feeling between us." By his own state ment, Mr. Gould has fifty or sixty times as much money as a man ought to have. He must be worth at least £ 60 , 000 , 000 . He has been gradu ally sidling off the stocks that he wanted to get rid of. He will re .surae the manage ment of the prop erties he still holds W. E. CONNOR. on pi s return. But Mishes it understood that he is no longer a speculator, only an investor. He will develop iu every M ay the resources of the three investments uamed and devote himself to their improvement. The proper ties are now iu excellent shape, he declares, and he thinks good times are bet e agair the storm, tentls it." Jay Gould lias boni at Roxbury, Delaware county, N. Y.j and is now 49 years old. His first business 1 enterprise wa« exhibiting patent rat-trato at the world's fair in New York in 1853. President Pierce passed through the exhibition; one day, and, seeing the boy, shook hands with him. It made a <leep im pression on JÉiy, and after a moment's pro found thought he raised his head aud said to another boy: "I iutend tobe president my self some day# Probably hé meant president of railroad anil telegraph companies. Mr. Gould started in life as a la ai surveyor, gradually getting bold of valufjble properties. He comes of a long line of Puritan ancestry, and of a father m ho was n* iteif for conscientiousness in money matters. Jaypr*M not foud of physical spoil« as a schoolboy, but excelled in his studies, particularly in mathematics. He Mas not a great favorite M ith his schoolmates. His tilgst business partnership Mas Mith Mr. Pratt, in Pennsylvania. The firm dis solved. and Mr. Pratt was rained financially. Gould's uext jiartuership Mas with George Loop, of New York. Ixx»p committed sui cide because Of financial troubles. Next Mr. Gould turned his attention to railroad business. His first railroad, the one on which he got his hand in, so to speak, M as the Troy and Rutland. Next came the Erie, in which Gould and Jim Fisk figured so largely. At least, Fisk figured. Jay Gould kept of sight and maneuvered. He maneu vered to such purpose that now, at the age of 49, he retires from active participation in business one of the rich men of the world The picture of Jay Gould shows at a glance to the face reader the nose, brow and cheek of the money get The famous financier, in passing, gave his opinion of the various telegraph companies that have tried to compete with the Western Union. He does not think any other com pany can do business at the Western Union's rates and live, in spite of all rivalry, he affirms that the telegraph company is doing well. "If it M as getting the rates of last year it would hardly know what to do with the money." This information will be par ticularly soothing and encouraging to West ern Union telegraphers who are working for $5 a week. Some years ago Mr. Jim Keene came from the Pacific coast in a luxurious special car to try his luck in Wall street. "We'll Rend him back in a freight car," said Jay Gould grimly. He kept his promise, too, figuratively if not literally. Keene was badly worsted. A friend of Keene's picked up Mr. Gonld and "set him down hard" as the boys say, dropping him over a railing into a basement yard. Jay Gould only weighs 119 pounds, and is not much over five feet high. After that, whenever the financier ap peared on the street, he was attended by a "swarthy, muscular Italian." The Italian was Morosini, now notorious as the man who made so much fuss when his daughter Vic toria married the coachman, who was the man she wanted. Morosini was ostensibly Jay Gould's secre tary, but really his boefo as Lv !y guard, to keep the financier's ene mies from doing him physical vio lence. Gould took a fancy to him, gave him a c hance, and finally a parto-^; nership in the firm ^ of W. E. Connor & Co. Now the swarthy Italian servant is worth several millions. He poses as a gen tleman of noble g. p. morosini. Italian family, high tone, coat of arms and that sort of rot. When his daughter marries the coachman he fairly goes into convulsions about the disgrace to his blue blood "I am a Roman, ami I know hoM- to hate," he ex claims tragically and dramatically. Where upon NeM - Yorkers naturally ask: "Who's Morosini, anyhow, that he should kick up such a thundering row?" TOO dUSY FOR BUSINESS. 4 Texas Landlord who was Deeply Inter« «led in His Newspaper. [Chicago Ledger.] A traveler landed at a wayside tavern in Texas earlv one morning, and, after sitting irounrl without discovering any signs of öreaktast until an appetite like a mustard plaster liegan gnawing, he walked up to the andlord. who M'as liehind the counter lient aearly double over a newspaper, in M'hich ie was tracing the lines of a thrilling ro mance w ith his forefinger as he puffed away it an old cob pipe. "What time do you have breakfast?" he said. The landlord groane«l, but did net look up. The traveler raised his voice a notch or two and repeated: "When do you have breakfast?" . The man liehind the bar never moved. The traveler thumped on the counter with his knuckles to attract attention, and again said much louder than before: "When do you have breakfast?" "Hek?" said the landlord, with his face still buried in the newspaper. "When do you have breakfast?" "Most every day." "Is this one of the lucky days?" "Heb?" "Are you going to have breakfast today?" "I reckon mor n like we will." "How soon do you suppose it will be ready?" "I don't 'spose nothin' about it," "What's the reason you don't?" "Coz I don't know." "When do you generally have it?" "When the coffee biles." "Has the fire been started yet ?" "I don't know nothin' about it." "What's the reason you don't?" "Coz I don't care a cuss." "See here, old man, ain't ycu the land lord?" "I reckon mebbe I am." "Well, then, I'd like to have you tell me M ho's running this tavern ?", The old man raised his head, gave the stranger a look that made his flesh creep, and said: "Well, sometimes the niggers runs it; sometimes the old woman gives it a whirl; sometimes the cussed thing sorter wobbles along for itself, and then again sometimes I gives it a hist myself, and every once in a while some lantern-jawed, knock-kneed son of a tiger like you-comes along, and wants to try his hand at makin' it spin; but about the time he gits to shootin' his mouth too free he takes a notion to go out to the horse trough aud soak his head, and after that he's aliuz meek enough to mind his om*h business for a spell. What in the name of Tom Scott do you want, anyhow? Can't you keep your coat on till I strike the end of this yere piece? I want to find out what the blazes they're goin' to do with that old pirate I've been worryin' about for the last two months, now that they've ketehed him at last. You're not ridin' on the keers now, so what's the use o' bein' in a sweat ?" Just then a darky stepped into the back yard aud began pounding a joint of stove pipe with a broken broom handle. "Does that mean breakfast?" inquired the stranger in a humbled voice. "I shouldn't wonder a durn bit," returned the landlord, as he plunged into his paper. fashion Note. [Australian Exchange.] The litest thing in collars for bank cash iers. BILL NYE IN MAINE He Give* the Keasons Why It Is Not a Great Agricultural State. [Boston Sunday Globe.] The state of Maine is a good place M ith which to experiment with prohibition, but it is not a good place to farm it in very largely. In the first place, the season is generally a little reluctant When I was up near Moose head lake a short time ago people were driv ing across that body of water on the ire Mith perfect impunity. That is one thing that interferes with the farming business in Maine. If a young man is sleigh riding every night till midnight, he don't feel like hoeing corn the following morning. Any man who has ever bad his feet frostbitten while bugging potatoes will agree with me that it takes away the charm of pastoral pursuits. It is this desire to amalgamate dog days and Santa Claus that has injured Maine as an agricultural hot-bed. sL M On Frostbitten white bugging potatoes. Another reason that might be assigned for refraining from agricultural pursuits in Maine is that the agitator of the soil finds when it is t<x> late that soil itself, which is essential to the propogation of crops, has not been in use in Maine for years. W hile all over ihe state there is a magnificent stone foundation on which a farm might safely lest, the superstructure, or farm proper, has not been secured. If I had known when I passed through Minnesota and Illinois w hat a soil famine there was in Maine I would have brought some with me. The stone crop this year in Maine will be very great. If they do not crack open dur ing the dry weather there will lie a great many. The stone bruise is also looking un usually well for this season of the year, and i chillblains were in full bloom when I was ! tnere. In the neighborhood of Pittsfield the couri try seems to run largely to «old water and chattel mortgages. Some think that rum has always kept Maine back, but I claim that it has be :i wet feet. In another Sab bath morning talk I will refer to the matter of rum in Maine more fully. The agricultural resources of Pittsfield and vicinity are great, tLe principal exports being spruce gum and Christmas trees. Hiev were not yet in bloom when I visited the state, so it was too early to gather pop corn balls and Christmas presents. Here, near Pittsfield, is the birthplace of the only original wormless dried apple pie with which we generali}' in-ult our gastric economy when we lunch along the railroad. These pies, when properly kiln-dried and rivette.l. with German silver monogram on top, if tilted out with Yale time lock, make the Lest fire and burglar-proof wormless pies of commerce. They take the place of civil war. and as a promoter of intestine strife they have no equal. The farms in Maine are fenced in with stone walls. 1 ilo not know why this is done for I did not see anything on the-« farms that any one would naturally yearn to carry away with him. I saw some sheep in one of these enclos ures. Their steel-pcinte«l bills Mere lying on the Mall near them, and they were rest ing their jaws in the crisp frosty morning air. In another enclosure a farmer M'as planting clover seed Mith a hypodermic syringe, and covering it with a mustard plaster. He said that last year his clover Mas a complete failure because his mustard plasters were no good. He had tried to save money by using second-hand mustard plas ters, ami of course the clover seed, missing the warm stimulus, neglected to rally, and the crop was a failure. Here may be noticed the canvas-back moos 3 and a strong antipathy to good rum. I do not wonder that the people of Maine are hostile to rum—if they judge all rum by Maine rum. The moose is one of the most gamey of the finny tribe. He is caught in the fall of the year with a double-barrel shotgun and a pair of snow shoes. He does not bite unless irritated, but little bovs should not go near the female moose while she is on her nest. The masculine moose wears a hare lip and a hat rack ou his head. Near Pea Cove I saw a strange sight. A farmer was rowing around over his cran berry orchard in a skiff. I stood up on the stone M all and Matched him for some time, because I am greatly interested in farming and dearly love to watch any one else M ho may be engaged in manual labor. It m as a long time beiore I could make out v. hat he M'as doing. At last, however, I figured it out, and I Mas very much surprised, iudeed, for I had never seen horticulture carried to that extent, and as Mr. SayM-ard would re mark, "I thought he Mas carrying that thing too far." Many will doubt my Mord, and I M'ould not have believed it myself if any one else bad told me, but the man Mas actually pick ing cranberries out of his submerged orch ard Mith a stomach pump. I have one of the cranberries at home now. A New Delicacy. [New York Sun ] "We are goin' to have pie for dinner," said Bobby to the minister. "Imleeil !" laughed the doiRinie, amused at the little boy's artlessness, "and M-hat kind of pie, Bobby?" "It's a new kind. Ma was talkin' this morning about pa bringin' you to dinner so often, aud pa said he dida't care Mhat she thought, anil ma said she'd make him eat humble pie before the day was over, an' I «'pose we re goin' to have it for dinner." They Met by Chance. [New York Star.] "Are you on any particular lay:" he asked of a stranger M-hile waiting at the Union de pot at Buffalo. "Oh, yes!" was the reply. "I thought so, from your looks. 1 work the three-card monte racket on greenhorns. What do you dof' "I work the detective racket on three-card monte sharps! ' was tfct prompt response, as the hand-oils Mtie ■napped oil A Boundary that Will Not Stay Pat. [Alex. E. Sweet.] Ever since men had sense enough to form themselves into communities, large riven have been utilized as boundary lines. It is the most natural thing in tbe world to select a large river as a boundary line, hence rivers are called natural boundaries. It is impos sible for nations to quarrel about lines if they are merely artificial, but the general supposition is that a river is a permanent in stitution, although, like a reform candidate, it is always running. In Europe or Asia if you put a large river down anywhere out of doors it will stay where you put it You might go off and be gone 1,0U0 years and when you got back that river would be right where you left it Nobody can coil up a river 1,000 miles long and carry it off any more than you can lift a lofty range of cloud-capped mountains and put it in a hand cart Such, at least, has been the generally accepted opinion in regard to rivers, but with this, as with all other rules, there is an exception, and the exception in this case is tbe Rio Grande, which is the boundary line of the United States and Mexico. The Rio Grande is the most peculiar river in the world Words cannot describe its crookedness and tbe color of its waters are like unto the complexion of tbe horse thieves who infest its borders. Whether tbe crooked ness of the natives is caused by tbe waters of the river, or whether the river has been in duced to depart from the straight line of duty by the bad example set it by the lords of creation who prowl along its banks, is one of those intricate questions I have not got space to discuss. The soil of tba Rio Grande is alluvial and very similar to that of tbe San Antonio river. When it rains the soil dissolves into a soft kind of mush, and the river flops about in it, like a suake in the water. One of the consequences of this is that the boundary line between Texas and Mexico, which is declared to be the middle of the channel of the river, is as uncertain and as utterly unreliable as a politician's promise. For instance, John Smith, an honest, in dustrious aud unexceptionable Anglo-Saxon, settles on the * \ / A American sida of the Rio Grande. He is an American i'itizen in the fullest sense of the word The Rio Grande, according to the oostumbredel Pais, gets on a bender. Tbe next morning John Smith finds out that he has be come, by the act of God. as Blackstone calls it, a Mexican. The boundary line ha« gone around him during th«ç night, having se lected a new char nel, which leaves him several miles in Mexico. The DON JT'AX FKMITEE. channel of the river being the boundary, the Mexicans claim the land as Mexican terri tory, and so it is. What is poor John Smith to do? When you are in Rome you must howl with the wolves. In a short time John Smith has become transmogrified iuto Don Juau Esmitee—that's the way the Mexicans pronounce it. He wears a great big som brero, smokes cigaritos, big spurs jingle at his heels, he goes to mass regular ly. and to inspire his Mexican compadres with Confidence he steals an occasional horse. In a few years, were it not for his red Lead and blonde freckles and an occasional Anglo-Saxon oath, nobody would take him to tie an American. This is all right as far as it goes, but just about the time Don Juan Emistee begins to relish "chile con came" and other Mexican luxu-. ries the boundary lines get on another tare, and going back to its old channel leaves Don Juan Emistee high and dry on the American side once more. The Americans reclaim their land, and if Don Juan Emistee does not move away he fails to feel at home. The very first time be gives any of his Mexican lingo to his American brethren, or as s«x)n as he yields to his acquired habits of stealing a horse, he has trouble of the most serious character on hand. In other w<irds, he has got to the end of his rojie. Then again, in many places it goes dry entirely, and the two twin sister republii-s are left without any boundary line what ever. A Challenge to the East [San Francisco Alta.] Upon this story we confidently defy the united genius of the aggregated press of the east. A small boy at Quine y, in this state, went up the mountain side full of pleasure at the first fall of suom\ At the summit he slipped and rolled down the hill, becoming the nucleus of a vast snowball, which hope lessly imprisoned him. He M-as missed after several hours, and the searchers got on tbe track of the snowball and trailed it to where it had leaped from a cliff to a canyon. Look ing doM-u they could see it lodged in the boughs of a pine tree. They finally got it, broke it open and found the boy inside, alive, but rather chilly. Upon this incident we rest the reputation of California for the season. Brief, But Effectual Advice. [To-Day.] "Good morning, sir." "Morning." "I— er —beg your pardon." "I beg yours, sir." "May I ask m hat you gave your horse for the botts F "Turpentine, sir." "No, thanks— er — er— good morning." "Good morning." * * e "Good morning, sir." "Good morning." "Beg pardon, but did I understand you to say that you gave your horse turpentine for the bottsF "Yes, sir." "Well, 1 tried it anil it killed my horse." "It killed mine, sir." "Oh— er — er —good morning." "Good morning." Nearly Went Into Hieroglyphic«. [Evansville Arguai "Yes," said Mrs. Brown to Mrs. Smith, "the poor n an suffered um ful pains. He was in a toinatose state for Ihre:: h ng days, caused from suspension. The doctor said that he Mas troubled with animation of the stomach and al-o a slight confudoa of the bowels, which at first seemed like an attack of sporadic colorie. But the poor man's time had come, and I suppose his death could not be helped, so at exactly 5 o'clock his soul passed to that home from which no man returneth. 1 felt sorry for his wife. The poor woman nearly went iuto hiero glyphics."