Newspaper Page Text
FREEZING EUROPE OUT.
A Tale of the Nicaragua Canal (When Finished), A. I». 19— Como hither, little Britisher, ami listen while I tell About the great climatic change that long ago befell. Take off your little Arctic shoes; hang up your reindeer hood. And you shall have some blubber pie if you l*e nice and good. Twos in the old and wicked days your Uncle Sam began To dig his great canal beside the river San Juan; And when they saw him work so hard and get along so slow, The foreign nations laughed ha! ha! and ekl they laughed ho! hoi r* // » <sr « 8*2 •■>1 The foreign nations laughed, ha! ha! But when the work was done at last and he began to build His mighty forts on either side, with anger they were filled. They met in hasty conference one morning at Berlin, The very day that he had fixed to let the water in. And as the water and the talk did simulta neous flow, The Carribbean sea ran dry and the Gulf of Mexico. The great Gulf stream which used to wash and w ann all Europe free Was siphoned through the new canal into the Southern sea. Next day a little cablegram covered with ice and snow Came staggering over to Sandy Hook, with this its tale of woe: A wave of more than Arctic cold had sud denly ariz, In spite of grammar or precedent, and the whole of Europe friz. And every port was blocked with ice, aiH every town with snow : You could travel on skates from Liverpool to the Bay of Biscay, O. The savans, all at loggerheads the reason tt unfold, For some maintained 't was lack of heat, others, excess of cold. ' Whatever the cause," said the cablegram, kicking its frozen heels. "Europe for sympathy and help to its Uncle Sam appeals." "The reason is plain," said Uncle Sam, and he winked his aged eye, "You've neglected to pay your water rates, and I've cut off the supply." He laughed ha ! lia! and he laughed Lc! ho! did wily Uncle Sam, As he sent in his little bill of costs by the little cablegram. The air of Europe was black that day with blasphemy and sin, But the nations did as we all must do when the plumber's bill comes in. ,£V. ip M i ü êi t: A- ■ <0 - ' Afl?/ X — A ~ . y The air of Europe was black that day. $100,000,000,000 cash! und oh! they roundly swore, When they found the Gulf stream didn't flow as it uster did before. It was a pious dodge, my child, to pat down wa r and slaughter, For it made the nations keep the peace to keep out of hot water. James Jeffrey Roche. A Happy Father. iTexa-s Siftings.! Mose Schaumburg, junior, has gone into business for himself not far from the clothing emporium of his father. A few days ago Cot Yerger was urged by Mose Schaumberg, senior, to purchase a win ter overcoat. He declined, saying: "Your son, Mr. Schaumlierg, offers me the same sort of a cc»at for a dollar less. Besides, he says your goods are not reliable." "Ish dot so!" said Mose, clasping his hands with delight, as a gratified smile passed over his features. "Yes. that's true." "Veil! veil veil! I believe mine sou vas a tain fool, but now I see he has a fine head for pizness. Yot a proud fodder I vas." The Chicago Boy. [Chicago Journal.] The other day a Chicago boy of <> years, w ho had been "jiestering" one of his little brothers, was sentenced by his mother to sit for au hour in a high-chair in one corner of the sitting-room, as a punishment During the hour a friend of the family came in. The culprit had a Bible in his hands, and pre tended to Ik* reading very intently. The friend of the family, having been ivnciTued of the "punishment," went up to the lad and asked: "Are you reading about the little boy who troubles his brothers"' "No," promptly replied Young America, "I'm reading about God, who knows enough to cuind his own business." An Apparition. (Texas Siftings.] Rev. Whangdoodle Baxter, of the Austin Blue Light tabernacle, met Bam Johnson, who is something of a colored wag. He looked on this occasion as if he w as fright ened. ' Dar was a glioseness in my room las' night. I wake u]) and all at once I seed a black shad dcr right by de b»si. I jess holler out, 'Da Lor'!' de dark shadder said: 'Quit yer fuss.' Den 1 knowed right off who hit was." "Yer fust wife what's dead ami am out in de graveyard !" "No, sah. hit was my present wife. Lor', how ßkiered 1 was." Boycotted. [Hartford Post.] Ah. good morning; nice morning," was the salutation of a Hartford gentleman to his friend. "How are all the folks.'" "Oh, nicely. As well as could be expected." "Why, what is tbe matter?" "Oh, nothing much. I've been boycotted, that's all." "Boycotted?" "Yes. My third girl was born yesterday." EXTRACTED BY BILL NYE. Loaves from John Adams* DIaij Hie Early Married Life. (Bill Nye In Boston Globe ] December 3, 1764. I am determined to keep a diary if pos sible the rest of my life. I fully realize how difficult it will ba to do so. Many others of my acquaintance have endeavored to maintain a diary, but have only advanced so far as the second week in January. It is my purpose to write down each evening tbe events of the day as they occur to my mind, in order that in a few years they may bo read and enjoyed by my family. I sha'l try to deal truthfully with all matters that I may refer to in thes) pages, whether they be of n ational or personal interest, and I shall seek to avoid anything bitter or vituperative, trying rather to cool my tem per before 1 shall submit my thoughts to paper. December 4 This morning we have had trouble with the hired girl. It occurred in thjs wise: We had fully two-thirds of a pumpkin pie that had been baked in a square tin. This major portion of the pie wa» left over from our dinner yesterday, anJ last night, before re tiring to rest, 1 desired my wife to suggest something in the cold pie line, which she did. I lit a candle and explored the ] antry n vain.- The pie was no louger visible. I told Mr-\ Adams that I had not been suc cessful, whereupon we sought cut the hired girl, whose nam* is Too tie Tooterson, a foreign damsel, who landed in this coun try on Nov. 7, this present year. She does not understand our language appar ently, especially when we refer to pie. Tue only thing she does without a strong foreign accent is to eat pumpkin pie and draw her salary. She lande 1 on our coast six weeks ago, aftir a tedious voyage across the heaving billows. It was a close tight between Toitie and the ocean, but when they quit the heaving billows were one heave ahead by tbe log. Miss Tooterson lande 1 in Massachusetts in a w< o!en dress an 1 hollow clear down into the ground. A strong desire to acquire knowledge and cold, home-made American pie seems to pervade her entire being. She bus only alio we 1 Mrs. Adams and myself to eat what sh' did no!) want hor se, f. Miss Troterson has also introduced into mv household various European eccentrici ties and strokes of economy which deserve a brief notice here. Among other things she has ma le pie crust with castor < il in it, and lubricated th> panea ce grid lie witu a pork rind that I ha I used on mv 1 ime n*ck. She is thrifty and saving in th s way, but rashly extravagant in the use of doughnuts, pie and Medford rum, which we keep in the bouse for visitors who are so unfortunate as to be ad lifted to the doughnut, pie or rum habit. -^4 =* SI r A W )1 :rNT vt 11 J * M V « » f\\ ,n ^ , l ^ v " f I \ L/;v > • 5&U wvü j I j and Mrs. Adams and Tooth It is discouraging indeed for two young people like Mrs. Adams and myself, who have just begun to keep house, to inherit a famine, and such a robust famine, too. It is true that I should not have set my heart upon a transitory au I evanescent terrestrial ol jee. !il e a pumpkin pie so near to T. Tooterson, imported p.e soloist, doughnut maestro and famine virtuoso, but I did, and so I returned from the pantry desolate. I told Abigail that unless we poisoned a few pies for Tootie tlrr Adams family would be a short-lived race. I could see with my prophetic eye that unless the Tootersons yisided the Alamses woull be wiped out. Abigail would not consent tc this, but decide t to relievo Miss Tooterson from duty in tins department, so this morn ing she went away. Not being at all familiar withth:> English language, shi took four of Abigail's sheets and quite a number of towels, haudkerchiefs and collars. Hhe also erroneously took a pair of ray nightshirts in her poor, broken way. Being entirely ignorant of American customs, I presume that she will put a belt around them and wear them externally to Church. 1 trust that she will not do this, however, Without mature deliberation. I also had a bottle of lung medicine, of a very powerful nature, uhica the doctor had prepared for me. By some oversight, Miss Tooterson drank this the first day that she was in our service. This was entirely wrong, as Idid not intend to use it for the foreign trade, but mostly for home consumption. This is a little piece of drollery that I thought c° myself. ' I do not think that a joke impairs the usefulness of a diary, as some do. A diary with a joke in it is just as good to fork over to posterity as one that is not thus disfigured. In fact, what has posterity ever done for ine that 1 should hesitate ab» ut socking a little humor into a diary? When has posterity ever gone out of its wav to do me a favo:•? Never! 1 defy the historian to show a single instance where posterity has ever been the first to recognize and remunerate ability. A Pastoral Visit to a Vai l Sister. I Bristol Mercury. | Th • Kev. E. G. Gauge, speaking at Bris tol the other night, said he believed in care ful preparation at heme oi. sermons for the Sunday, instead of "gadding about from house to house visiting." lu his early career ha was earnestly requested l y a deacou to visit a member oi the congregation who was very ill, and it was suggested that he should call at 11 o'clock in the morning. He did so, an 1 found the poor woman very much better, but greatly put out at his visit, as she had her hair iu curl paper, her sleeves tucked up to her elbows, nul was doing a bit of household sweeping and dust ing. He begged her not to mind him, as he was "used to that sort of thing." He would have a short prayer—he would not be long; they knew he never was long about anything. He selected a chair and knelt down; she selected another, and he began the prayor. He heard the dooi opened once; he heaiNi it opened a second time. He concluded au earnest prayer on the poor woman's be half, and on looking round—lo! a perfect transformation. While he was praying she had slipped up to her bedroom, washed îwr hands and lace, curled her hair, changed her attire— and there she was in her very best f»lk, fittingly prepared to receive com pany. while he had been praying among the empty chairs. Exceedingly Kapld Evolution. * [Beacon.] Recently a firs broke out near a large menagerie at Moscow. As it was impos sible to save all thy lioos and elephants, the manager of the establishment was re quest*» 1 to po ut out such of his treasures us cm 1>1 be removed with safety. Whoa be pass? 1 by the monkey ca j\ a big cratig otuan : screamed cut: "For Gcd's sake, let uv* <>;u! 1 never was a mo ikev until I came her*;. I am an hunts! man. Sav* mel" A Big Baptizin'. [St Louis Republican.! The principal of the colored public school on Seventh and Hickory streets has taken time by the forelock and determined to have all of the pupils in his school vaccinated. With this end in view he yesterday requested the board of health to send a physician out to his school for this purpose. Gen. Steven son has detailed Dr. Goebel for this tarir Gen. Stevenson said that the principal's anxiety to have the scholars all vaccinated at once reminded him of an incident that oc curred during the war. He said that in his command was a very devout and energetic chaplain, who was exceedingly earnest in re gard to the spiritual welfare of the soldiers, especially before going into battle. "This preacher," said Gen. Stevenson, "came down to where Billy Wilson's zouaves were en camped, and had a talk with Billy. He said that his efforts had been wonderfully blessed; that he had baptized fifty men from one regi ment, a hundred from another, and so on, enumerating the fruits of his religious labors, and he suggested to Billy that as they were on the eve of a battle it would be well for him (the chaplain) to talk with Billy's men. Billy was very proud of his command, and he turned to the chaplain and said: 'That ain't necessary; I'll save you all that trouble. Adjutant,' said he, calling an officer, 'you just go and make a detail of 300 men and take 'em down to tbe creek and baptize 'em. No regiment in this corps shall get ahead of Billy Wilson's zouaves.' "And," continued the general, laughing heartily at the reminis cence, "blamed if tbe adjutant didn't obey Billy's orders." The Price Was Too Low. [Norristown Herald.] George Wolf, a farmer of Melrose, N. Y., has offended his neighbors by selling his wife, weighing 200 pounds, for 12.50—a trifle over one cent a pound It is not surprising that his neighlmrs took umbrage at his action. If a wife is not worth two cents a pound, she is not worth a cent. A Paradise for Old Maids. [Norristown Herald.] There are only four unmarried women in Fargo. D. T., in a population of 12 000. The only reason these un husbanded maidens don't get invitations to attend the opera and other places of amusement seventeen nights a week is that there are not so many nights in a week. A Tender-Hearted Coal Healer. [Philadelphia Kronikle Herald.] "Jim," said an honest coal dealer to one of his drivers; "Jim, make that ton of coal 200 pounds short. It is for a poor, delicate widow, and as she will have to carry all of it up two flights of stairs I don't want her to overtax her strength." The Modern Patriot. [Lustige Historian.] "A genuine patriot," said an election orator j recently, "must at all times be ready to die I for his country, even though it should cost j him his life!" [Thundering applause.) »TAR RK. fOUGHfURE Free from Opiates, Emetics and Poisoir. IurI: OKcts. PROMPT. OBS THE GREAT N R I* 1% ■ Cures Rheumatism. Neuralgia, 9 a* II AIM Rarkarlir, lli»<liirbt-, Tootharlii-. |P 2|I 111 Sprains, BrnlMHi, «•tr..«>ir. I 351 ■ nill PRICE, FIFTY CENT«. a V* I walls AT DRUGGISTS AND dealers. T1IE CHARLES A. VOtiELEK U*., BALTIMORE, 31U. whom everybody knows as the successful manager ol the Largest Hotel Enterprises of America, rays that while a passenger from New York on board a ship going around Capo Horn, in the early days <>f emigration to Cal ifornia, he learned that one oi the officers of the vessel had cured himself, during the voy age, of an obstinate disease by the U3e of Ayer's Sarsaparilla. Since then Mr. Lf.land has recommended Aver's Sarsaparilla in many similar cases, and he has never yet heard cf its fail ure to effect a radical cure. Some years ago one of Mr. Lr. land's farm laborers bruised bis leg. Owing to the bad state of ills blood, an ugly scrofulous Swelling or lump appeared on the injured limb. Hor rible Itching of the skin, w ith burning and darting pains through the lump, made life almost intolerable. The leg became enor mously enlarged, and running ulcers formed, discharging great quantities of extremely offensive matter. No treatment was of any avail until the man, by Mr. Le land's direc tion, was supplied with AVer's Sarsapa rilla, which allayed the pain and irritation, healed the sores, removed the swelling, and completely restored the limb to use. Mr. Leland has personally used Ayer's Sarsaparilla for Rheumatism, with entire success ; and, after careful observation, declares that, in his belief, there is no medicine in tbe world equal to it for the cure of Liver Disorders, Gout, the effects of high living. Salt Kheum, Sores, Eruptions, ami all the various forms of blood diseases. We have Mr. Leland's permission to invite all Avho may desire further evidence in regard to the extraordinary curative powers of Ayer's Sarsaparilla to see him person ally either at his mammoth Ocean Hotel, Long Branch, or at the popular Leland Hotel, Broadway, 27th and 28th Streets, New York. Mr. Leland's extensive knowledge of the good done by this unequalled cradicator of blood poisons enables him to give inquirers much valuable info: ation. PREPARED BY Dr. J.C. Ayer & Co., Lowell, Mass. Sold by all Druggists; §1, six bottles for 53. WILLIAM DORN, TANNER AND DRESSER OF ALL KINDS OF FURS, Bear Skins, Buffalo Bobes, Buck Skins, etc Gulch Street No. 123, Helena. Montana. wlm-decl7 Fencing. If you wish fencing, e»ll or address the under signed. T. C. ST. A MOUR, w6m-dec8 Helena, M. T. POWDER Absolutely Pure. Thla powder never varie«. A marvel of parity strength and wholeaomeneaa. More economical than the ordinary kinds, and cannot be «old in competition with the multitude of low teat, short weight, alum or phosphate powders. Sold only in cons. Royal Baziks Powdxh Co.. New York . ITCHING Skin Diseases Instantly Re lieved by Cuticura. TIIREATMENT.—A warm bath with Cuticuba L Soap, and a single application of Cuticura, the great Skin Cure. This repeated daily, with two or three doses of Cuticuk t Rbholvenl, the New Blood Purifier, to keep the blood cool, the perspiration pure and unirritating, the bowels open, the liver and kidneys active, will speedily cure Eczema, Tetter, Ringworm, Psoriasis, Lichen, Pruitus, Scali-Head, Dandruff and every species of Itching, Scaly and Pimply Humors of the Scalp and Skin, when the best physicians and remedies fail. ECZEMA ~ÔÎTÂ CHILD. Your most valuable Cuticura Remedies have done my child so re ach good that I feel like say ing this for the benefit of those who are troubled witli skin disease. My little girl was troubled with Eczema, and I tried several doctors and medicines, but did not do her any good until I used the Cuticura Remedies, which imeedily cured her, for which I owe you many thanks and many nights of rest. ANTON* BOSSMIER, Edingburgh, Ind. TETTER ÖFtHE SCALP. I was almost perfectly bald, caused by Tetter of the top of the scalp. I used your Cuticura Remedies al>out six weeks, and they cured my scalp perfectly, and now my hair is coming back as thick as it ever was. J. P. CHOICE, Whitesboro', Texas. GOVERED wW BLOTCHES. I want to tell you that your Cuticura Résol vent is magnificent. About three months ago my face was covered with Blotches, and after using three bottles of Resolvent I was perfectly cured. FREDERICK MAITRE. 23 St. Charles St., New Orleans, La. BEST FOR ITCHING DISEASES. One of our customers says your Cuticura Remedies are the best he can find for itching of the skin. He tried ail others and found no relief until lie used yours. F. J. ALDRICH, Druggist, Rising Sun, O. Sold everywhere. Price: Cuticura, 50 cts. ; Soap, 23 cents ; Resolvent, $1. Prepared by the Potter Drug and Chemical Co., Boston, Muss. Send for "How to Cure Skin Diseases." PIM PLES, Blackheads, Skin Blemishes and Baby Humors, use Cuticura Soar. HOW LIKE OIL AND WINE TO THE .famished »fold is a Cuticura Axti Bain Pi.a.-ter to the aching sides and Clmck. the weak and painful muscles, the sore chest and hacking cough,and every pain and ache of daily toil. 2Gc. Everywhere. t& Sy'r MANHOOD RESTORED not Thousands cannot get cured of Ml SAL WË ASSESS, LOSS OF J/.4.V itdfhcr ■eultof abuse, disease or excesses, .. . . j a complication caUed PROSTA ToR RU F A. l)R. LI FRIO'S IX VI GORATo R is the OXL Y cure for PROS TA T0RR1IEA. Price, V.00 j,f>r package, (j packages, jilt).(HI. Guide to tealtk ami Self-Analyst sent free. Address LUX <0 h i s P F X S A R Y for Diseases of Hen, 4 hi Geary St.. San Francisco, dal. ABE YOU TROUBLED With Salt Rheum, Syphilitic Diseases, old Scrofulous Sores on your person. Sore Throat, etc. I suppose you have tried every known remedy and failed in ail. Now, what 1 want to impress upon your mind is, that Dr. Halli«lay'*Bloo«IFnrftler will cure you without a doubt. In tbe first place, it breaks the fever, softens the skin, purifies the blood, and the sores gradually heal up. There is no mer cury in it. and it wi 1 kill the effects of mercury. Sold bv all druggists. Write to oflice and labora tory, 274 East Seventh street, St. Paul, Minn., for record of cures and book of private instruction. Thev are free. dAwly-mhl F. ADKINSON. A.ttoraioy*»t«Iiaw. Oflice In Masonic Temple, Helena, M.T. Special attention given to suspended and con tested land and mineral entries._dAwIy -jyl B. P. CARPENTER. ATTORNEY AND COONSELOR-AT-LAW. Holona. Mcutaua. QAwtf-jel DR. M. ROCKMAN, IMi.vsici/in. Snrgeon. Accoucheur, ©e* enlist ami Aurist. Memlier of San Francisco Medical Society, also Nevada State Medical Society. Office—Galen building, Helena. Montana. Con sultations in German and English. d<&Wtf-o26 THOMAS ECKLES,M.D. ElOMCBOPAT SIÖT. Office on Grand street. d<*wt.f-dec20 JACKSON'S MUSIC STÖßE, BROADWAY", Helena, M. T., C. W. JACKSON, Proprietor. Behr Bros. & Co., Decker Bros, and Tischer PIANOS, Brass Band and Orches tra Instruments, wholesale and retail. A. B. Chase and Mason & Hamlin 0BCANS, all kinds of Musical Merchan dise, Sheet Music, Books and Stationery, wholesale ard retail. d<fcwly sep25 49-CAPITAL PRIZE. §73,000. 4* Ticket* only §5. Share* la proportion. Louisiana State Lottery Company. " We do hereby certify that toe supervise the ar rangements for all the Monthly and Quarterly Drawings of The Louisiana State Lottery Company, and in person manage and control the Drawings themselves, and that the same are conducted with honesty, fairness, and in good faith toward all par ties, and we authorise the Company to use this certifl J cate, with facsimiles of our signatures attached, in its advertisements.'' Commissloaers. We, the undersigned Ban fa and Bankers, will pay all Prises deawn in The Louisiana State Lotteries which may be presented at our counters. J. H. OGLESBY. Pres. Louisiana National Bank. SAMUEL H. KENNEDY, Pres. State National IBank. A. BALDWIN, Pres. New Orleans National Bank. Incorporated in 1868 for 25 years by the Legis ture for Educational and Charitable purposes— with a capital of 81,00(1,000—to which a reserve fund of over $550,000 has since been added. By an overwhelming popular vote its franchise was made a part of the present State Constitu tion adopted December 2d, A. D. 1879. The only Lottery ever voted on and endorsed by the people of any Stale. It never scales or postpones. Its Or And Single Number Drawing* take place monthly, and the Extra ordinary Drawing* regularly every three month* instead of Neml-Annu ally a* heretofore, beginning March. 1SS6. A SPLENDID OPPORTUNITY TO WIN A FORTUNE. FIRST GRAND DRAW ING, CLASS A, IN THE ACADEMY OF MUS IC, NEW ORLEANS, TUESDAY*, January 12, 18S6—IttSth Monthly Drawing. CAPITAL PRIZE. $75,000. 100.000 Ticket* at Five Dollar* Each. Fractions, in Fifth* In proportion. LIST OF PRIZES. 1 CAPITAL PRIZE............................. Ç75.000 do do do do 25.000 10.000 2 PRIZES OF Î6000 ................ ............. 12,000 5 do 20(H)................ ............. 10,000 10 do KHH)................ ............. 10,000 20 do 500................ ............. 10,000 mo do 21H)................ ............. 20,000 300 do 100................ ............. 30,000 5O0 do 50................ ............. 25.000 1,000 do 1ÎŸ ................ APPROXIMATION PRIZES. 9 Approximation Prizes of 8750............ 6,750 9 flo do 500............ 4,500 9 do do 250............ 2 250 1967 Prizes, amounting to..........................8265,500 Application for rates to clubs should be made only to the office of the company in New Orleans. For further information write clearly, giving full address. PONT A I, NOTES, Express Mon ey Orders, or New Y'ork Exchange in ordinary letter. Currency by Express (all sums of 85 and upwards at our expense) addressed M. A. DAUPHIN. New Orleans, La., or M. A. DAUPHIN, Washington. D. Make P. 0. Money Oraers Dayable ana aa aress Registern Letters to NEW ORLEANS NATIONAL BANK. New Orleans, I.a. wedAsat Liw4w-decl6 _ MONTANA NATIONAL BANK OF HELENA. Organized November, (882. C. A. BROADWATER, - - President A. G. CLARKE, ... Vice-President E. SHARPE.........Cashier UNITED STATES DEPOSITORY . Paid Up Capital...........................*250.000. Surplus and Profit*..................... 33,000 DIRECTORS: S. C. ASHBY. B. K. POTTS. N. H. WEBSTER. HERMAN GANS. H. F. GALEN. S. H. CBOUNSE. C. W. CANNON. R. B. HARRISON. A. H. WILDER. d*w-janl of St. Paul. GOLDEN COLORADO. Has a Savings Department. THE ONLY SAVINGS INSTITUTION IN MONTANA DIRECTORS: E. D. Edgehtox, E. S. Edgkrtox, St. Paul, President. Vice-President. CtvAS. F. Ellis. Cashier. J. B. Saxfobd, George Breck, Chas. K. Cole, Chris. Kekck. 2-l-83-d*wly C. F. LEE, (Asst. Assayer U. S. Assay Oflice.) Assaying in all its branches. U. S. Priées. Room 10 Brown's block. djtwly-oct7 Walter \v. DeLacv. Dep. U. S. Mineral Surveyor. John Brcxtox, Civil Engineer and Notary Public DeLACY & BRUNTOff, CIVIL ENGINEERS AND SURVEY ORS. Mineral Surveying, Irrigation Work, Sewerage and Water Supply of towns, and general Engi neering and Surveying. Terms moderate and satisfaction guaranteed. Offices, St. Louis Block. diwly-my Winter Ten Begins Jannary 40t, 1886. Complete courses in CIVIL AND MINING ENGINEERING. Special courses in Assaying. Chemical Analysis ani Snr yeying. The Laboratories and Assay Booms for practical instruction, are the most com plete of any in the West, TUITION FREE For catalogue address REGLN CHAUVENET, President, dtwly-myl Golden, Colorado. SECOND NATIONAL BANK HELENA^ MONT. Does a General Banking business. Sells Foreign Drafts and Passage Tickets. Pays interest on Time and Saving Deposits. Collections receive prompt and Faithful Attention. FARM LOANS. I will undertake the negotiation through the Corbin Banking Company, of New York, of long time loans on Improved Farms situated near the line of the N. P. R. R. in this Territory. Applica tions should state value and description of prop erty and amount oi loan desired. MASSENA BULLARD, wly-oct26 Helen*. Kent***. TUTT'S PÎLLS 28 Y EARS IN USE, The Greatest MedicaMTriamg A of the Age! 8YMPTOMS OF A TORPID LIVER. Lobs of appetite, Bowele costive. Pal* In the head, wit* a dall sensation la the back part. Pal* ander ta* shoalder blade. Fullness after eating, with a dis inclination to exertion of body or mind, Irritability of temper. Low apirite, with a feeling of aavlng neglected some duty. Weariness. Dizziness, Finttering at the Heart. Dots before the eyes, Headache over the right eye. P. tlessness, with fitfal dreams. Highly colored Urine, and CONSTIPATION. TUTT'S PILLS are especially adapted to such cases, one dose effects such a change of feeling as to astonish the sufferer. They Increase the Appettte,and cause the oody to Take on Flesn,thus the system Is nourished, and by their Tonic Action on the Digestive Organa,Regular Stools are . 44 Murray Wt..N.Y. m, groducedJMc^j TUTTS HAIR Grat Hair or Whiskers changed to a Glossv Black by a single application of ffiis Dte. It imparts a natural color, acts instantaneously. Sold by Druggists, or sent by express on receipt of *1. Office, 44 Murray St., New York» DR. PIERCE'S ELECT BO-MAGNETIC BELT. A Galvanic Iiattery, entirely different from all other appliances. It gives an Electric Current with or without acid». Dia eaaef or Weaknesses of male or female Bi**edily and permanently cured. NCTElectric Ruv jtensory fur men furnished free of charge. Descriptive circulars, with price list, testimonials, etc., forwarded to any address. MAGNETIC ELASTIC TRUSS COMPANY, 704 Sacramento St^ cor. Kearny , San Francisco, Cat RUPTURE I Absolutely cured In 30 to 9(1 Id»y«, by Dr. Pierce'* Patent Majmetio llMtifi Truss« 'Warranted the onlyEleetrieTrusa in the world. Entirely différai t from all others. Perfect Retainer, and is vont .with ease and comfort night and day. Cured the renowned Dr. J. Simms of New York. _ and hundreds of others. New Illustrated pam "memr phlet free, containing full information, JAG NET 1C ELASTIC TRUSS COMPANY. „ , Qi laicrameBtoflfa. car. Kearny SaaPranoieco, CaL d.*wly-jy30 __ THE DINOEE A CONARD CO'S BEAUTIFUL EVER-BLOOMING Our Great Specialty is growing and distributing ROSES. We have Rotes of all sizes and prices. The Latest Novelties and Finest Tested Sorts We deliver Strong Pot Plants safely by mail« at all Post Offices. 7 SPLENDID VARIETIES tit I lYour Choice, all labeled, for W I a lti for S2; 40 for *3. Also other Varie ties, 2. 5, »nd 1 2 for SI .OO, arenrdinq tn value. Our NEW GUIDE to ROSE CUL- CDCC I TURE, "6 pages, elegantly illustrated, I ntb • Address THF IHX.EE A CONARD CO., Rose Growers, West Grove, Chester Co., Pa. w6m-oct29 DR. MINTIE, THE SPECIALIST, No. 11 Kearny St.. San Francisco, Cal. Treat« all Chrosic. Special and Private Diseases with Wonderful Success. THE GREAT ENGLISH REMEDYI Ts a certain cure for ner vous Df,bility, Lost Manhood, Prostator hoea, and all the evil effects of youthful follies and excesses, and in drinking intoxicating liquors. DR. MINTIE, who is a regular pliysi jcian, graduate of ' the University of Pennsyl vania, will agree to for feit S500 for a ease of this kind the Vi al Restorative (under his epeeia advice and treatment) will nol cure. 81.50 a hot tie, or four times the quantity 35, sent to any ad dress on receipt of price, or C. O. D. in private name if desired, by I)K. MINTIE, 11 Kearny St., S. F., Cal. Send for list of questions and pamphlet. SAMPLE BOTTLE FREE will be sent to any one applying by letter, stat ing symptoms, sex and age. Strict secrecy in re gard to all business transactions. J ' " fix dAwly-im DR. JORDAN'S ran of PESS&6 XFOP 7886 Will be mailed FREE to all applicants, and to customers of last year without ordering it. ft contains about ISO pages, 600 illustrations, prices, accurate descriptions and valuable directions for planting all varieties of 5'EUETABLE and FLOWER SEEDS, BULKS, etc. invaluable to all. especially to Market Gardeners. Send for it. D. M. FERRY & CO., Detroit, Michigan. wl3t-deell) _ IMPOTENT MEN Be they Y oung or Oldp having Lost those attributes of PERFECT MANHOOD May Regain Quickly PERFECT Sexual Power Procreative Ae:l;ty, Prof. Jean Filiale. BY TUEUSE OF The Civiale Remedies. Tliev cure every trace of DEBILITA . SPEIt M ATO It It IKE A, A AUIt tlt l l.K and i v, y form of Seminal loss and weakness whether duo to Youthful Folly, Abuse, or Natural Failure. This treatment originated hy J*ItOF. CTVIAI.E. adopted in every HOSPITAL in Fit A NCR •mi tin jualiiiedly endorsed by the Medical Profession, is KAMI. Y APPLIED, PAINLESS, y; l< !.. nnd above all LAsltNG IN ITS R IX I.TS. ITDITU Tfi ATT Upon receipt of 0 nts X htlj iU ALL. | n postage stum; wo will send free to any earnest inquirer, our plen tlid illustrated C4 page medical wm lc. givinq symp toms of ail forms of Sexual Disease, description t>f this treatment, prices, testimonials uud news paper endorsements, Ac., <Stc. AVenre also agents for the new and c rt rtaln to cure. Self-Adjusting and Glove Fitting Cradle C ompressor, for the tLurou^-h and radical cure, without surgery, of VARICOCELE Consultation with full Medical Staff, FREE. Civiale Remedial Agency, 16C Fulton St., N. Y, NERVOUS DEBILITATED men. Y ou are allowed a free trial of thirty day v of the use of I)r. Dye's Celebrated Voltaic Belt with Electric Suspensory Appliances, for the speedy relief and permanent cure of Xervous Debility, los» of Vitality and Manhood, and all kindred troubles. Also for many other diseases. Complete restora tion to Health. Vigor and Manhood guaranteed. Vo risk Is Incurred. Illustrated pamphlet In sealed envelope mulled free, bv addressing VOLTAIC BELT CO., Marshall, Mich. dAw7m-nov30 7.31 Market Street. G O AND LEARN HOW to avoid disease, and how wonderfully you are made. Private office, 211 Geary street. San Francisco. Con sultation of Lost Manhood and all Diseases o Men. 49"Send for book. wly-nov5 AI BOLTER & BRO. DEALERS IN Mechanics' Tools, Mill Supplies, Belt ing, Brass Goods and Pipe Fitings, Battery Screen, Steel Wheel barrows, Iron, Steel, Pipe and Heavy Hardware. Disston's Celebrated Circular Saws, and Rival Steam Boiler Feed Pomps. Agents for Atlas Engines and Boilers, and Leffel Doable Tnrbine Water Wheels. Catalogues Furn ished on application. ALSO MANUFACTURERS OF LUMBER, LATH, SHINGLES, SASH, DOORS, STORE FRONTS, ETC. wyl-angl3 ATTENTION ! Farmers and Gardeners. If you want tried and reliable GARDEN SEEDS, Go or send to H. M. PÄRCHEN & CO., leading druggists, Helena, Montana, and buy Landreth's. They have been tried with unvarying success for eighteen years in Montana. Guaranteed tresh and true to name. Put up in sealed packages, with directions for culture, and sold at strictly growers catalogue prices. Price List and Landreth's illustrated catalogue and almanac furnished on application. Extra clean and fresh Timothy and Red Tap Ulover. Hungarian, Millet and Blue Grass, in quantities at prices defying competition. Vlch's Flower Seeds in great variety. H. X. PÄRCHEN & CO. DON'T SHOOT ! But if you do, save money by buying the best goods at the HELENA ARMORY! SPECIALTIES: Sharpe's, Winchester, Marlin and Ballard Rifles; Parker, Colt's and Remington Breech and Muzzle Loading Shot Guns; Mervin fi Hulbert, Colt's and 9. it W. Revolvers. Wholesale and retail dealer in Arms, Ammuni tion, Tobaccos, Cigars, Fruits, notions, etc. d ly-ianl M. SILVERMAN. (USEUfttt NO FEE!! \ ESTABLISHED 18S1. 1 186 Sotti UNTIL BETTER J CHICAGO, ILL./CLA2I ST. The Regular, Old-Established PHYSICIAN & SURGEON is still treating with the greatest SKILL AND 8UCGESS YOUN , MIDDLE-AGED MEN and all persons who by their own acts of Impru dence or Folly at any period of life have brought upon themselves, the evil effects following closely upon the heels of transgression of the laws ot nature, should consult the celebrated Dr.Clarke at once. RemembertNervous disense«(with or without dreams) or debility and loss of n*rve power treated scientifically by new methods with never failing success. Mg~lt makes no difference cvhat you have taken or who has failed to cure you. &ÿ-The terrible poisons of Syphilis and all bad blood and skin diseases, completely eradi cated without mercury. Remember that this one horrible disease, if neglected or improperly treated.curses the present and coming generations 49 -Ail unnatural discharges cured promptly without hindrance to business. No experiments. Both sexes consult confidentially. Age and experience important. A written guarantee of cure given in every case undertaken, 49 -Send two stamps for celebrated works on Chronic, Nervous, and Delicate Diseases. Yob have an exhaustive symptomatology by which to study your own case. Consultation, person ally or by" letter, free. Offices and parlors pn rate. Medicines sent everywhere secure from ex posure.—Hours,Sto 8 ; Sunday, 9 to ix. Address: F. D. CLARKE,' WI. D. 186 So. Clark St., CHICAGO. ILL. The BUYERS' GUI OR v issued March and Sept., each year. A»- 21G pages, I S^xll'-j Inches,with over 3,500 illustrations — a whole Picture Gallery. GIVES Wholesale Prices direct to consumers on all goods for personal or family use. Tells how to order, and gives exact cost of every thing you use, eat, drink, wear, or have fun with. These INVALUABLE BOOKS contain information gleaned from the markets of the world. We will mall a copy FREE to any ad dress upon receipt of 10 cts. to defray expense of mailing. Let us he or from you. Respectfully, MONTGOMERY WARD & CO. 227 & ^"'-Wabash Avenue, Chicago, III. w:y-aec4 LEGAL BLANKS FOR THE USE OF Lawyer*.Jn*tice* of (he Peace.Convey ancer», Surveyor*, Agent*. Owner* and Lessor* of Real Estate, etc. (CUT THIS OUtTÖR REFERENCE.) THE HERALD haa In Stock the following blanks. They are neatly printed on good paper, with red ruling for a border. The forms have been carefully prepared by a lawyer, are in con formity with the statutes of the Territory, and are applicable to any County in Montana DISTRICT COURT BLANKS. Ber doz. F Notice of Appeal........................ Undertaking on Appeal............ Aff. ord. and notice for wit........ .50 .75 .35 .50 Und. on claim ami delivery....... .50 .50 .50 .50 Aff'. publication summons......... Ord. publication summons........ .50 75 Summons for juror......................35 tr 100 8-3 00 3 00 4 00 2 00 3 00 3 00 3 00 3 00 3 on 4 («I 3 00 4 00 2 00 2 00 JUSTICES COURT BLANKS. Warrant of arrest.................. Writ of attachment................ ......50 ......35 ......35 3 00 2 00 2 ......35 2 00 ......35 2 00 Summons for juror................ ......35 2 00 REAL ESTATE BLANKS. 75 4 00 75 4 (HI 4 (H) Bargain und sale deed............ 4 S ......50 3 (in Mortgage............................... 4 (HI Assignment of mortgage....... ..... .75 4 00 Mechanics lien........................ 75 4 00 MINING BLANKS. Notices of location (quartz).... .50 3 00 Deed of mining claim............. ,75 4 00 Application for patent............ ...... 50 3 00 MICELLANEOUS BLANKS. Sheriff sale................................. Bounty certificate (wild animals) Certificate of incorporation......... Bond............................................ Acknowledgements..................... Chattel mortgage........................ Bill of sale................................... Power of attorney....................... A discount of ten per cent, made on orders amounting to 85, and twenty-five per cent. 011 orders amounting to 810 or over. Postage prepaid on all orders. Special forms of any blanks made to order at low prices. Checks and money orders to be made payable to riSK BROS.. Helena, M. T. .Bd .50 .75 .50 3 00 3 (»I 4 (X) 3 00 2 OO 4 00 4 U) 3 00