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Helena, Montana, Thursday, December i, 1887 No. i <Pt.f iilcchly lljcralil. R. E. FISK D. W. FISK. A. J. FISK Publishers and Proprietors. Lir-est Circulation cf any Paper in Montana -o Rates of Subscription. WEEKLY HERALD: One Your, (in »«Ivance).............................S3 00 •-ii Month!«, (In advance)............................... 1 75 Three Months, (in advance)........................... ] 00 When not paid for in advance the ru'e will be r, ;r Dollars per yeaii Postage, in all cases Prepaia. DAILY HERALD: , ■-u l)-cri tiers,deli vere<i by carrier SKOOanionth One Year, by mail, (in advance)................. 89 00 six Months, by mail, (in advance)............... 5 00 Months, by mail, (in advance)........... 2 50 If not paid in advance, 81- per annum. \ : communications should be addressed to FISK BROS., Publisher!«, Helena, Montana. LITTLE LAUGHS. "C rn on the car shrinks about 40 per ■■ sajs .m agricultural journal. Wo are most interested in corns on the foot. We Lave never known them to shrink to any per ceptible extent.—Philadelphia Call. "What are you doing here?" asked the con tra' tor. "I am the watchman." "üb, I see; and what do you watch?" "Watch for the boss mostly."—Pittsburg Dispatch. "What was the biggest school of mackerel vou ever saw ?" asked a summer boarder of old Capt. Cluster. "The biggest school of mack < rel I ever saw?" repeated the captain, shift ing his quid and hitching up his trousers. "Well, ma'am, the biggest school of mackerel 1 ever saw was off the Banks, away back in 01. But, Lor' bless you, ma'am, that wa'n't no school of mackerel. That was a univar sity. r —Somerville Journal. I*. T. Barnum says the day of the circus clown has passed, and that no such individual will accompany his shows next season. Mr. Barnum has done a great deal for this coun try, but this is his master stroke.—Detroit Free Press. A man in Mexico who carried a carbine and a revolver and tried to kill another man is described as being "of gentlemanly ap pearance and good address." If be had car ried another revolver and a bowie knife be might have been looked upon as a leader in polite society.—Dayton Democrat. A Texas paper advertises for "a firstelass driving horse for a lady that must be young and gentle and easy to manage."—Texas Siftings. Stranger—I notice you drove the president over the same street twice. Omaha Man— Yes, we arranged the route that way. You see, we drove him through that street on his arrival, and then drove him through it when we went back, an hour later. "Exactly! I thought it was an oversight." "Oh, no. We wanted to give him a chance to see how west ern cities grow."—Omaha World. Busy Father—My daughter. I must take an early train to-morrow; the alarm clock is out uf order, and some one will have to sit up so as to wake me. Dutiful Daughter—I'll do it, pa. "My dear, you are a daily and hourly blessing to me. Are you sin e you can keep awake?" "Ob, yes; George w ill be here to night."—Omaha World. Cyclone cellars in the west are no longer refuges of safety. An able bodied cyclone came along the other day, packed up one of these holes in the ground aud whirled it through the air into the next township, where it was lodged on top of a tree. So a correspondent intimates, and he would hardly lie about a little thing like that.—Norristown Herald. Didn't Like the Method. The suixrintendent of public instruction asked an old negro why he did not send his son to school. "Becaze I foun' dat he wuz er wastin' his time, sah, dat's why." "Wastin' his time?" "Yes, sah. Come gibin him er little old spellin' book." "What did you want him to have?" "P'litical 'couomy. I wants hi*a ter be er pnlertician." "Well, but bo must study a spelling book first." "What fur?" "So be can learn how to read." "Who wants him to read?" "Why, be must read or he can't study | political economy." "Kaint study political 'conomy widout he ken read." "No." "An' be knn't read lesse'n he study do spellin' book." "No." "I reckon yer better go on, sah, an' let me ten ter nu r own erfairs. Sent de chile tor school three weeks an' den axad him ter make tr speech an'he couldn't do it. Jes' goon an' let me run dis yer mercheen."—Arkansas Traveler. Gave Him Away. Mr. Denny is a minister with quite a fam ily of children. He entertains his friends quite often at the parsonage, and usually at supper, lie has a custom of giving certain things at the table into the charge of certain of the children. Benny, for example, sees that the guests are properly taken care of in the way of meats and other solids, Harold has bread and butter and things of that nature under Lis supervision, while the little girls have their special provinces in the realm of sweets. One evening Mr. Denny chanced to notice that a brother of the cloth was with out a biscuit. "Why, doctor," said be, "you haven't had the biscuits passed you. Why, really, doctor, this is a grest oversight. Har old, my boy, no biscuits yet juissed to Dr. Holmes!" "Father," said the tiny Harold, who al ways speaks slowly and with great solemnity, sud who to-night had in his voice a reproach that his Ixdoved father had for a moment be lieved him unfaithful to his trust—"father, he 1ms had three ulready."—Harper's Bazar. Too Much for Them. "Let's see," said a woman who was inspect ing an empty house in the eastern part of the city with a view to rent, "haven't several of your tenants died in the house?" "Only two, madame." "And they died of typhoid fever, I hear, caused bv the drainage being so bad." ' 'Typhoid fever I Some one is trying to in jure me, madame. They both fell down stairs find killed themselves." "That's singular." (| h, no. madame. You see, they stood at the head of the stairs when I lowered the rent 0 112 per month, and the sudden shock over balanced 'em.''-Omaha World. BOOKS ROM ABROAD. DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AMERICAN AND FOREIGN DECORATIVE ART. English, French and American Hook« Side hy Side—Where the French Excel. English Conservatism—German Publi cations—English Works in Cloth. The foreign author is not without some pro tection against w hat are called the piracies of American publishers» Art and cheap labor have combined to give him a foothold in the American market, and though it is only a slender foothold, it is enough to make him w ish the ground broader and firmer. The total of the import trade in books, maps, en gravings, etchings, and other printed matter in the United States is considerable. In the year 1SSG it amounted to over $3,250,000, and this sum represents about the average value of such importations for the past few years. But it is the finished art and antiquity of some foreign works that give the chief dig nity to the import trade, and these are the features also which bring a large proportion of the profits. W e call ourselves a great manufacturing nation; and from the utili tarian point of view the claim is well founded. We are beginning to supply ourselves with nearly all the coarse products of industrial art of a better quality than can be obtained in other countries; but except in a few special ties we are only entering upon the boun daries of artistic decoration in the mechanical arts, and are not skillful in presenting our works in the most attractive form. Ameri can designs have been criticised for their an gularity. This is not necessarily a serious re flection on their excellence. No better illustration of the difference be tween American and foreign decorative art can be found than may be witnessed in a book store where English, French and Amer ican books can be examined side by side. Lineal design is here out of the question. One book is just as rectangular as another; but there is a wonderful difference to be ob served sometimes in the motive. Here is a French edition of "Paul and Virginia" found at the leading importing house in New York. At a glance you see that the spirit w hieb guided the hands of the bookmakers of the mediaeval ages, the monks, stiil survives in France, and ventures to assert its superiority over the modern machine. Everything about the book is suggestive of the most highly per fected art. The morocco upon the cover is delicately tinted, the ornamentation is ex actly proportioned and chaste, and, within, the eye traces a gallery of fine art, which be gins with the first leaf and extends to the last. One of the first pages of each volume is illuminated with a water color painting from the ham Is of an excellent artist, and following through the volume, founded on situations in the story, are pictures printed alternately upon silk and upon Japan paper. It is all fine art, and the letter press of the volume is worthy of its company. This all costs money, of course, and such books are only within the reach of men whose opulence is at least equal to their taste. The volumes cost §300 each. Here, too, are a couple of volumes contain ing the works of the poet Rogers, issued in 1830 by an English house. It is not, like the "Faul and Virginia," a publication that de rived its chief merit from its association with imaginative a: t, but it is simply a specimen of the first complete edition of the poet's works issued under bis own eye, and repre sentative cf the best decorative art of the period. Within its limitations it is also a work of art, wrought out carefully by band in every detail, and bearing in each touch the impress of conscientious labor and good taste. The most approved style of book binding in England at present, it is said, calls for gilt edged leaves at the top of the volume, while at the side and bottom they are left plain. This lias been thought a recently adopted fashion; but this edition of Rogers' works proves that it is only a revival. These volumes are ornamented in this manner, al though printed more than fifty years ago; and it would not be an encroachment on the probabilities to presume that Rogers himself, whose artistic sense was known to be more delicate and truer than that of any of his poet contemporaries, might have been the author of the fashion. Rut the entire work in bind ing, ornamentation, and letter press suggests that there has been little or no progress since its publication in the art of bookmaking, and the man who cares as well for his tea service as his tea, and can afford the luxury, will do well to have his Rogers in this form. It will cost him only $125 to obtain the two volumes. The Germans, as their art is illustrated in the United States, ore better writers than manufacturers of books. They seem to care little for the setting of their literary gems, Rnd rarely use calf or morocco in the bind ings. Their publications, as seen upon the shelves of our importing houses, are all bound in cloth or paper. They are distinctively German, however, in their decorative feat ures, displaying somber tints alternately with bright and varied colors, and are pro duced with more elaboration than the cloth bound works of any other nation. German importations run largely also to portfolios of engravings, something not strictly belonging to the book trade, but classed with books in tariff schedules, and made to pay correspond ing duties. On account of the large German population in the United States, one would expect to find the importation of German works very large. It is, indeed, large, fol lowing next to the English importations in the total, and coming not so very far in the rear. But even here the American publisher is the bet« noir of all the importers. Not even in Germany will he allow a popular new work to escape capture, but, presto, on its appearance, it is reproduced by his Ger man printers in the original, and offered to German readers in this country at prices lower than they must pay for even a cloth bound copy of the same work produced in the land of fubulous cheap labor. Americans will always be struck by the irities of English books bound in cloth, aves are rarely if ever cut, and the are attached to the volume only at the s in such a manner as to create the im in that the book is about to fall in The case is not quite so bad, however, s workmanship is pretty firm, and it is X)ssible that its fragile appearance is a of protection, the reader being likely die with greater care an object that so perishable. This system of binding io some less questionable advantages, sves and covers are more flexible than îerican books, and not always flying ie montant they are liberated from the A new English book taken from the f the bookstand can be opened at any nd made to lie flat, cover downward, he counter without in jury to the work, vou to attempt the feat with an Amen 3 ok you would break the back. This — ie not the explanation offered for the English system of binding. Englishmen call a cloth bound book only a covered book, while a bound book is pre sunied to be inclosed in calf ornioroicx A man, therefore, who bu>s a book in cloth may be supposed to select that material for convenience in bis first reading, and then it is to be sent to the bindery to Le put in con dition for its place in the library. English men are very skillful at giving reasons.—New York Sun. 'HE JOYS OF LIFE. Few Nugget« of Wisdom About Our Home Pets. I have received a letter asking for half a ream of advice at my lowest rates. The writer, a gentleman of quiet, refined taste, sedentary habit and a sparsity of hair, de sires to cheer up the solitude of' Lis home by introducing a pet, and wishes to know the variety of pet most suitable to the tranquil enjoyment he seeks, together with hints upon the maintenance and general care of the same and an approximate estimate of the cost. Pets vary in size and temperament. The tastes of some men incline them to large pets and of others to small pets. A man inclined to flabby corpulence and wishing to tone up his system and tone down his waistband by steady and invigorating exercise may safely indulge in a pet bear. There is nothing I know in the entire animal kingdom so calculated to furnish a man with athletic pastime as a well developed bear. Canaries are a lemon colored affliction but one degree removed from felony or yellow fever. One pair of $4 canaries turned loose on an unsuspecting family will wreck more happiness than a savings bank cashier's vaca tion or a fire. If I felt that life was not complete without song I should endeavor to purchase music without the multiplying attachment. I had a pair of canaries in June, 1874. In August I had four; in October, eight, and by June, 1875, I had seventj'-six, and fifty-two of these were of the female species and al ready on the nest. I tried to give the birds away, and I tried to turn them loose, but all in vain, and I was immersed in hempseed and misery until one day, in a moment of des jieration, I committed arson in the third de gree, aud had a reedbird breakfast. A parrot both satisfies the longing of a man for a pet and makes life pleasant for the neighbors. A bright and active parrot cost about $20 before he Las learued how to swear or for gotten how to yell. His education being being valued at about $2 a word, it can readily be seen that fluent profanity may only be expected in birds costing from §100 up. The most economical way for a clergy man or an elderly maiden lady to do is to buy the crude parrot, bang it out of a win dow and let it pick up the rudiments of strong language from the neighbors. I had a parrot once with a green body, a yellow bead and a bad eye, and for three long months he was thoughtful and observ ant, and my aunt benevolently sang "Old Hundred" to him, repeated various texts in his hearing and in other ways tried to give him a wholesome, Christian education. Si multaneously, a small, freckled boy next door conversed within range of the parrot, taking a somewhat different key. Alligators are easily domesticated, and are pleasant i»ets to have in a house with small children, but I have found it just as effective to leave rat poison around, artfully spread upon doughnuts and other delacacies. The most refined and contemplative pet I know is a Texan horned frog. A horned frog looks like a lizard which has been passed through a rolling machine and then studded with prickles. He does not sing, and it is necessary to pry his mouth open and ram his food down in order to keep him alive in this trying climate, but with these trivial draw backs he is a pet of great value. Homed frogs cost nothiug in Arizona, and may be shipped by mail at the same low rates as rattlesnakes, scorpions and other territorial produce. A healthy horned frog will sleep on his belly four months without moving, and then may be turned upon bis back, where he will sleep four more, and this amusing trait en dears him to his owner and keeps monotony from the door. Occasionally during the sum mer he will open his eyes and take a stealthy review of his surroundings, but this phe nomenon may not be expected to occur oftener than seven times in four years, and, as the process is entirely noiseless, will not disturb even the most sensitive person. Pets are necessary to the higher enjoyment of life, but bow to select is one of the most difficult problems ever presented. There are incompatibles in pets, as in matrimony and medicines Cats and canaries do not go well together—or, rather, go together too well, and the consolidation has little value; and keeping a parrot in the same cage with a moukey does not improve either his morals or his plumage. I should advise any one de sirous of getting a pet which will brighten his dull hours and enliven care to procure either a sacred white elephant or a horned frog, and retire at once to his enjoyment. All other varieties are fraudulent and un satisfactory.—Henry Guy Garleton in New York World. ! LITTLE FOLKS' BRIGHT SAYINGS. iry to Alice—Your doll looks very ly. What ails it? ice—It frets a great deal. Alfred ked out one of its eyes last week, and it i great deal of sawdust, and hasn't been ame doll since. MAKING SURE OF HIS IDENTITY, t many weeks since a little girl received sit from an uncle she had never before but had heard much about. He was to to her as "Uncle Benny." At the of her customary evening prayer she "Dod bless mamma, papa and Tommy Uncle Benny," then, after a pause, she J: "Dod, his other name is Hopkins!" A QUESTION OF EXPERIENCE, ndav School Teacher—Now, children,we all been bitten, haven't we? ildren (in chorus)— A'es, inarm, iclier—Aud our first parents were bit :oo, were they not? ildren (in chorus)—Yes, inarm, icher—Now, who bit them? ight Little Boy from Avenue A—Skeet tiarm. SHE KNEW HER BIRTHPLACE, bright little 8 -year-old was greatly at ed by a figure in the Metropolitan Mu of Art. "Say, aunty, who's that?" t's the figure of Minerva." "Who's rva, aunty?" "She is the Goddess of om." "And does she come from Bos —Texas Siftings. They All Do It—Nearly, ro little girls of 7 and 8 are playing to ;r. nd your papa, what doe9 he do?" asked >f them. Ihateve" rnarnr" says."—Tid-Bits. a THE BRITISH FLEET. LITTLE TO ENCOURAGE FAITH MONSTER ARMORCLAD SHIPS. IN Several Collisions ami Many Breakdowns During the Decent Maneuvers—A Very Slovenly Performance—Vessels Banning Short of Coal—Torpedo Boats. The recent maneuvers of the British fleet did little to encourage those who pin their faith to monster ships and heavy armor. In deed, even the unbelievers in this type were scarcely prepared for the sorry spectacle pre sented by the mightiest fleet afloat, for in the Irish channel, where Admiral Baird essayed to defend the shore line against the assault of Fitzroy, and again in the English channel jand North sea, when Hewitt sought to pierce the line of Freemantle, the big ships proved .at best both awkward and uncertain. * There were several collisions and many 'breakdowns; in all a dozen ships out of two jscore were disabled by their own exertions, lor gave out from lack of coal during the fort night of evolution. The great ships Ajax pud Devastation crashed into each other early in the day, and it was only by quick work, and what must be regarded as good luck, that the latter did not go down. As it-was, she was badly listed over on to her side, with her guards under; something heavy^ in the way of machinery having been sent adrift below. The Ajax was disabled and _ lay like a dead whale in everybody's way, and a constant menace to all. The new steel cruiser Curfew, from which so much was ex pected, was so awkward to handle and so slovenly in minding her helm that, when the report came she had broken down, and powerful tugs were sent by Admiral Hewitt to tow her into port, a sigh of relief must have gone up among t lie fieet, for from the descriptions given cf her movements, she Seems to have been as deadly as an iceberg, ijuite as dangerous to friend as enemy, and required a whole ocean to herself. Then there Was the Colossus, of which so much has been written—the floating fortress, carrying enough power to cripple a fleet! Unless she can do better than her recent performance promises, no fleet need fear her, for, in order to sustain injury, it would have to come up and considerately lie to, possessing itself in patience w hile the really formidable battery was trained; for it is said to Lave taken an hour and thirty minutes to work the Colossus Into position and load, train and fire the after guns on the port side. After firing one round, the big ship fell back disabled, aud lay help less in the tideway. The Terror might not inappropriately be renamed the False Alarm, and the Impé rieuse, the Impotent; for the former on two ! occasions thundered down upon tha QOeaiy, and, w hen at point blank range, was unable to train her battery till she bad passed the target, having then to run over a circle of a mile's diameter to get around again into posi tion. while the Impérieuse fell out of line be cause running short of coal—bless the mark! And when again her bunkers were full, sho was so slovenly in a cross sea as to be well nigh unmanageable. When we remember that the rate of speed at which the ships were w orking was only seven knots an hour, and that, notwithstand ing they were within easy reach of a great coaling station, several of them ran short of coal while maneuvering, we cannot help won dering what would happen such a fleet fight ing in mid ocean! It may safely be said that if the result of the fortnight's maneuvers is a fair exponent of what a fleet of monster ships are capable of, we need have little fear of attack by such vessels on this side of the water. Few of these large ships would carry anything like enough coal to bring her across, and those so capable would be com pelled to coal at some station here before ready for aggression, or, barring that sup ply, be unable to get borne again. Hence blockade or capture of the coaling stations would render such a fleet harmless. It ought to be said of the officers in com piand of this great fleet that they are as ca pable a lot of men and as able seamen as can be picked up on the ocean. Experienced, too, they are in all manner of novel machinery and war material, used to working modern ships, and, quite as important, familiar with the waters they sail in. It was no fault of theirs that some of the moasters they com manded carried weather helms with wheels hard over, or, as was the case with another, parted the shaft while trying to work head up to wind with engines of 8,000 horse power. All attempts to form line of battle, whether in the form of column, crescent or wedge, were fairly unavailing from a naval stand point, because the time occupied was so pro longed as to give a quick witted enemy op portunity to anticipate the maneuvers and evade the shock. The big ships on several occasions rammed one another while getting into line, and breakdowns and demands for assistance marked the most important ma neuvers. This was no fault of the command ers, but of the ships being built to carry great batteries and bear ponderous armor rather than for seaworthiness and rapid movement. The work of the torpedo and torpedo boat, from which so much is—not unreasonably— expected in future naval wars, seems to Lave been purposely underestimated at the maneu vers this year, as it was in the French ma neuvers last year, for fear of shaking the sailor's faith in the impregnability of the ships he sails in.—Scientific American. Worthy to Become a Gould. When Edith Kingdon (now Mrs. George Gould) was first on the stage she pushed her self, all unaided, from a subordinate position in the Boston Theatre company to a pleasant one in Mr. Daly's, says a New York writer. Friends bad rejieatedly told Che struggling gil l that her place was in New York, and she as often hail sent letters to Mr. Daly, receiving, however, no reply. Finally Mr. Daly took bis company to Boston, and Miss Kingdon played a strong card. She sent two tickets to the performance to Mr. Daly in the after noon, and in the evening sent a carriage to his hotel. He went, saw the jierformance, and the next day Miss Kingdon received a note asking for an interview. Nowhere is where that girl's cleverness came in. She was a poor, honest little worker, and she was living in a cheap boarding bouse. She read the note, went straight to the Adams house, hired a suite of rooms, decorated them with brie a brae borrowed from willing friends, donned a tea gown that good Rachel Noah pressed upon her, and then sent for Mr. Daly. He came, and before he left Miss Kingdon bad her contract.—Boston Traveler. A Girl's View. An English girl says that she has seen men whom she might have consented to marry, but she has never met one whom she would desire to propose to.—Kansas City Times» DEACON EURDETTE. Mr. Nevergo Bore, reaching out for a but ton hole—What's going on, ol 1 man! Mr. Busy Man, dodging—I am. NOR VISIT THE THEATRE. The nuns in the Via Merulana convent in Rome, it is said, never "see a man." Enough; they do not know the taste of cloves. EAR, EAR! Mr. John Cass (the candidate)—Doctor, my ear aches all the time; what do you suppose is the matter with it ? Doctor (after careful examination)—Growing pains. TOUCHED THE PLATE. "Our dinner table," said Mr. Newboarder, pleasantly, as he studied the pattern of the cloth, "reminds me of a time table." "And wherefore?" inquired the prompter. "More figures than fodder," was the soft answer which turned on the wrath. THE FATE OF PYGMILLION. "Pig pens close to the well, or close to the house," says The Farmer's Friend, "mean death." You bet; death to the pig. It's pretty hard to locate the pen so as to change this fatal signification, too. THE UNPARDONABLE SIN. Justice Lockmeup—Your fine is $20. As tonished Lawbreaker—Twenty dollars! For getting drunk? Justice—No, for getting ■ caught. Hundreds of people get drunk every day and I don't fine 'em a cent. Only fine those who get caught. MAKING A SA-LAM. "Leave 1116 door ajar, please," said the merchant j* courteously. And the visitor from Arkansas, as be went out, fetched it to with ULffc^Jiands, yanking off tlie knob, springing both hinges, and leaving a jar that rattled every window in the building. Aîîd if you'll believe it, the merchant got mad. You don't know how to please some men, be cause they never know what they want t hem selves. THE TARLOR FLOOR IS MORE "SWELL." "There's plenty of room at the top," Is there, my boy? Oh, no; that's only some more of the wise man's encouraging m msense. There's less room at the top than anywhere else in the whole pyramid. Unless society is built upside down, there is the most room at the bottom. There's only room for one at the top. Look at our own country: 50,000, 000 of people at the bottom and middle, and only one president at;t he top. That's the way the world over: millions of subjects and only one king. If you want lots of room and plenty of company, you stay at the bottom with the rest of us. Mighty lonely aud nar row at the aj>ex. "OUT OF THE CRADLE ENDLESSLY ROCKING." Heaven s last, best gift to man was woman, aud man s best gift to woman was the rock ing chair. It is her comfort of comforts. It is a rest for the w'eary woman; she rocks her troubles away as the swinging bow casts off the dnst; it is a solace in hours of sorrow; even a creaking rocker that driveth men mad as with the ceaseless words of a contentious woman, "speak comfortably to her;" her air castles, builded in the restless rocker, must lean like multiplied towers of Fisa; the rocker fills up all social gaps; if there is no one with whom she may talk, she rocks ; if she hasn t talkative company she rocks and talks. She rocks and sews; she rocks and knits; she rocks and sketches. She rocks and does things that a man can only accom plish under conditions of motionless, death like stillness; she rocks and threads a needle as calmly as though the age of miracles had not passed ; a woman photographer would sit in a rocker with a camera in her lap aud placidly photograph a group of rocking wo men in rockers of various gaits. The rocker is to her a nervine, a narcotic, a stimulant. It is to her all that a cigar is to a man, and a woman with a cigar and a man in a rock ing chair seem equally misfited. The rocker is a certain means of grace; be she "mad as a hornet," five minutes of vigorous rocking tranquilizes her perturbed spirit, and by the time she has rocked herself out of breath the gentle, -giving cadence of the swaying chair te ou that sunlighted c-alm has dis possessed ae storm, and peace reigns in her loving breast. Like the cradle of the miner, it gently rocks away the gross and earthy, and leaves a residuum of fine gold only. Sho rocks all along the way of her pilgrimage, up the hill of Difficulty, past the chained lions down into the Valley of Humiliation, across the narrow land of Ease, through the troubles on every side, through the fightings without and the fears within, past all dan gers, doubts and cares clear up to the borders of Beulah land she rocks, rocks, rocks. One of the first Christmas presents you buy for your little girl is a rocking chair; and the last time her grandchildren see her sitting up, the dear, loving, God blessed grandma is softly swaying in a high backed rocker, dreaming again of the years when her day dreams were woven in that little rockei'jnow the property of the newest granddaughter. Iu all those years your boy has changed his toj's and comforts and lounging chairs with every changing style, but your little girl has never been long out of a rocking chair. A home without a rocker would be like a farm without an orchard; it would still be a farm, but its crown jewel would be missing. Only a woman could have written "Rock Me to Sleep, Mother;" away with the man pretender who dare claim it, in the very face of unanswerable internal evidence, anti she didn't mean a "cradle rock;" oh, no, she wanted to be rocked asleep in a rocking chair. If she says she means 4 cradle," then do I fully believe her to be a man. As for man, he is not a natural rocker. He may acquire the habit, as a trotting horse may be taught to pace, but the "arm chair" is sacred to grandpa Man is a lounger; a foot rest goes with his chair. A steamer chair now is about his size. The prize com bination for him is an easy arm chair and a mantelpiece. "Give me where to hang my feet," says proud man, "and I care not where you put the rest of my body." Half con vinced that he was made a little lower than the angels, he has been trying ever since to get his feet back to Edenic altitudes, and so he sails through life on the small of his back, with his feet hovering above him like guard ian angels. Rather palpable, fleshy angels they are, too, but nevertheless he likes to look at them. You never j*et saw a man with feet so big and clumsy that he didn't like to hold them where he could see them when he sat down.—Brooklyn Eagle. Egypt. I 118 -» vs. Egypt of Old. Mr. Hayseed (to wife who is returned from church)—"What was the sermon about? Mrs. Hayseed—SuthiT!' about Joseph goin' dann to Egypt to buy corn. Mr. Hayseed—Did the dominie say what corn's wuth daun there?—The Epoch. Frofound and Important. You can be sure that the man who is put down as a religious fanatic was a fanatic be fore he got to be religious.—Louisville Dem crat. AN ITALIAN EDITOR TALKS FRANKLY ABOUT THE NEWS PAPERS OF HIS COUNTRY. Stupid Governmental Repressive Meas ures Under an Old Law—Getting Ahead of the Authorities—News and Fiction. A Fist of .Journals. The office of The Messagero, of Rome, is situated in the Via del Butalo, and here a cor respondent called by appointment the other day upon the editor and proprietor, Sig. Luigi Cesana, in order to receive an Italian editor's frank opinion on the newspaper press of his country. "You come apropos," said Sig. Cesana; "we have just been seized," and be smiled cheerily, as if an honor had just been con ferred upon him and not a serious loss in flicted. "You see," he continued, "every morning we have to deliver a copy of the paper to the procurators del re, the censor. In today's issue we had a memorial article on the Paris commune, simply and purely his torical, as you can see for yourself"—and he stealthily drew a last remaining copy from his desk—"and at 7:30 this morning the po lice entered, stating that the issue had been suppressed and ordering me to yield up the whole edition and to distribute the type in their presence. Some papers had already gone out, but they will seize them at the book stalls or snatch them out of your hands as you walk along the streets. They have done this to me many times before. STUPID REPRESSIVE MEASURES. "But these people are as stupid as their re pressive mea-rores,!. You can form no idea of their imbecility. The law of 1843 is the law of confiscation, under which they seize—of 1S4S! making no allowance for the improve ments in machinery since then, which almost makes newspaper printing another art. .So they order me to distribute the type, evidently thinking that we print from the type—so utterly ignorant are they of the business with which they are brought into daily contact. Of course, we use a Marioni machine, as they can see, and print from plates cast from a paper mache mold, that has been taken from the type. If they were to ask for our plates or mold, that would be another thing; but they think in looking after the type they have done thi* business. Of coui'se, to-night I shall print off a new edition of the suppressed paper, and in two days'time it will be dis patched free to my 'friends' in the provinces —(no doubt they will make me some little present in return)—by which time the au thorities will have forgotten all about the incident and my views and history will have circulated. "As the divine attributes aijd achievements tirely beyond our hope to emulate or even approach in the present generation—we as pire only to form our model on the French press, for the Italians have a great affection and admiration for everything French. Our telegrams ami our feuilletons chiefly come from France by arrangement with editors and authors. As regards telegrams, we all subscrilie to the Stefani agency by reason of about £5 a month. But it is practically in the government's hands, and there is conse quently no independence. How could there be, with the government excercising its power, when. anytLing unpalatable to it passes over the wires, either to burke the telegram alto gether or to delay it twenty-four hours or so, till the message is of no danger to them and of no use to us? The 'special telegraph corre spondence' which our papers boast rarely in cludes foreign dispatches, though a few papers can plume themselves on telegraphic commu nication with a Faris newspaper. But our people are not educated up to, nor interested in, foreign events, except so far as directly affects themselves. SOME EXCELLENT PAPERS. "Our people demand 'feuilletons;' they will Lave them, and the paper that wants to suc ceed must have them. \Y r e have not even the excuse of the French editor that in introducing fiction (acknowledged fiction, I mean) into his news sheet he is encouraging native literary talent. I regret to say that we have no such talent at present. Our feuilletons are bought from French editors or authors, and, whether new or not, are paid for at the rate of £20 a novel, which will run through sixty, seventy or eighty numbers. "The despotism under which we labor has not been able to prevent the growth of some excellent papers, as Italian papers go. Milan, the real literary and journalistic center of Italy, has its Secolo, with its 100,000 circula tion, a paper illustrated with portraits and views in the same manner and by the same process as The Fall Mall Gazette. Besides this it publishes from time to time elaborate illustrated supplements gratis to its subscri bers. Then there is The Pungolo, The Corriere della Sera (40,000), and L'ltalia (15,000), the last conducted in the American style. Genoa has The Epoco (00,000), a democratic paper) Naples The Piccolo, The Pungolo and several others of considerable age, and Turin the welfrknown Gazzetta del Popolo. But it is the same cry with them all—repression, offi cial and social, which afflicts them. "In my own sphere I am trying a remedy by making my business a co-operative affair, giving my writers a share in tha profits in addition to a salary. Not until an editor and his staff can vie with a minister and bis cabi net fn independence, riches, and popular es teem-even power, as is often the case in England and sometimes in France—can we compel the respect of society ; and not until we purge our statute books of injustice and anomaly, and educate our masses, can the Italian press be worthy to compete with the press of northwestern Europe."—Foreign Letter.__ Some Ilackneyed Names. The casual visitor had dropped in to talk with the editor, and opened by saying: "I wonder why newspaper correspondents gen erabv select such old, stale and hackneyed names as Veritas, Observer and Citizen?" "I don't know. Taxpayer is another." "Yes, and Vox Populi." t "And Justitia" "And Junius." "And Witness." "I have brought you an article that may come In handy oh a dull day." "What name did you sign?" "More Anon."—Lincoln Journal. Extravagance la Dress. Husband of Literary Woman—How are you coming on with your magazine article? Literary Woman—I've got it almost finished. "What is it about?" "It denounces the extravagance in dress of our modern women." "What are you going todo with the money you get from it?" "I'm saving up to buy me a sealskin sacque,"— Texas Siftings, IN ATHENS. 'Mid thirty centuries of dust and mold We grope with hopeful heart and eager eye. And hail our treasure trove if we but spy A vase, a coin, a sentence carved of old On Attic stone. Iu reverent hands we hold Each message from the Past, and fain would try Through myriad fragments dimly to descry The living glories of the Age of Gold. Vainest of dreams: This rifled grave contaius Of Beauty but the crumbled outward grace. The spirit that gave it life, Hellenic then, Immortal and forever young remains. But flits from land to land, from race to race. Nor" tarries with degenerate slavish men. —William Cranston Lawton in The Atlantic. ARMS AND UNIFORMS. The Needs of Our Militia— The "State Service'' Dress a Mistake. To argue about the advantage of a uni formity of arms between the states and the general government would seem to be scarcely necessary, so palpable ought it to be. For one state to have Sharp's rifles, another Remington, while the general government uses Springfield, is to prevent an interchange of ammunition and accouterments at a time, perhaps, when such interchange might be in valuable. The inconvenience of a difference of armament in the same state is open to the same objection, only with still greater force. With regard to a uniformity of dress, how ever, so strict as to preclude all individuality, the gain seems less pronounced. The tendency at present is to abolish regi mental uniforms in favor of a state uniform closely approximating to that of the general government. So far as a fatigue or activeser vice dress is concerned, this general uniform ity of attire is undoubtedly advisal le, but I think a distinctive uniform, and even a showy one for dress occasions, has much to recom mend it. A distinctive uniform gives esprit du corj is, undoubtedly tempts and attracts a larger enlistment, engenders greater care in its preservation, and keeps alive the martial fervor. I remember talking to a French officer on this subject, and he told me that there were once but two sizes of uniforms for the French infantry, and the necessity of every man to adjust himself to one of these extremes caused greater dissatisfaction than even could have been produced by short rations. Lord Wolseley is equally decided on the value of dress uniforms. "The soldier is a peculiar animal," he says, "who can alone be brought to the highest efficiency by inducing him to believe that be belongs to a regiment infinitely superior to others about him. In their desire to foster this spirit, colonels are greatly aided by being able to point to some peculiarity in dress." Again be says: "The better you dress a soldier the more highly will be lie thought of by women and conse- quently by himself." --Smart nfv-.s. ImmLy, picturesqueness has. itg._____ utility, much as this utilitarian age affects to despise it, and we must not forget that if we rob the soldier of his glamour there remains to him little but cold steel.—North American Review. ». Contents of the Tramp's Bundle. For many years I have been devoured by an intense and abiding curiosity to know what a tramp carries in his bundle. You may have noticed that no matter where you meet a tramp or under what circumstances, he has a bundle with him. It may be done compactly up in a newspaper or tightly wrapped in old and dirty rags; it may be two feet square or no bigger than your fist, but it is always a bundle of some sort, and one to which tie clings with the tenacity of death itself. I have heard a number of conjectures hazarded as to its possible contents. Some critics have maintained that it holds food and others that it is a mere dummy, contrived to impose upon a credulous landlord at a half dime lodging house. I have read newspaper stories of fortunes concealed in the tramp's bundle, and been told of occasions when ihe bundle found in the possession of a dead tramp contained family papers and docurrents to prove that the late unlamented was a person of high birth and exalted con nections. But of my own knowledge I have never been able to satisfy myself as to its actual character, so that w hen I was accosted the other day by a tramp with the usual bun dle and a plea for the price of .a night's lodg ings, I said to him: "Tell me w hat is in y cur bundle and I'll give you a dollar." "Honest?" said the tramp. I assured him of it. "You won't give me away to a living soul?" "I pledge you my word." "Well, then," said my tramp, in a voice full of alcohol and mystery, "I don't mind telling you. It's my full dress suit. You see a feller in m 3 ' position has to move in society a good deal, and he must have his dress suit ready, for he don't know when he may need it."—Alfred Trumble in New York News. A Shabby Sort of Enterprise. New York city is the recognized headquar ters in this country of every description of scheming for the acquisition of wealth with out labor. An attorney, whose place of busi ness is in Aldrich court, remarked: "Among the novel projects for making money which I have come across recently is that of specu lating in the franchises of interior towns and cities for public improvements. Thus two or three men in New York will make a raid on some town to obtain a street cai franchise, representing themselves backed by immense capital, wüieb is onl\ T waiting an opportunity of investment in street car lines. On secur ing a franchise from the town by such repre sentations they will come back to New York and peddle it out for $500 or $1,000 or what ever they can get for it. The result usually is that the town gets a street car line with a thirty pound T rail built on cross ties, and cheap cars, which look very well when freshly painted. The whole thing is sold out in a hurry and some one gets left, while the town itself has a miserable street car line on its hands. "The same process is being carried on in reference to water works, gas works, electric lighting fystems and similar public improve ments. There are scores of men in New York who make a living in just such shabby enter prises. There is no way to head them off ex cept for the authorities in the towns and vil lages of the country to make closer investi gation as to the character of people asking for franchises."—New York Tribune. Bobbing Bismarck's Park. Prince Bismarck bas been compelled to close his park nt Friedrichsruhe to the public on account of the depredations committed by visitors, which for a long time he took in good part. It is related that when he re cently caught some young ladies in the act of plucking leav'es from a shrub, be told them: "Ladies, if every visitor of this garden would take along only one leaf, there would soon be no more leaves left than there are hairs on my head."—Chicago Times.