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THE DEATH RECORD
A Thousand People Perish in the Dakota Storms---Babies Freeze in the Cars. Chicago, January 21.—A Nebraska City special says : Judge Kenney, agent ol the Yankton Sioux Indian reservation, arrived here yesterday. It took him five days to go thirty miles, the thermometer being 40 below most of the time. The coal on the train ran low. The passengers all crowded into one car. The men discarded their outer garments and wrapped the women and children up in them. Two babies perished. The Judge says the loss of life in Dakota is underestimated. The^ news papers have tried to cover it up. While at the station in Bonhomme county, nine frozen bodies were brought into the depot in one day. The loss in the whole county will reach 160, and estimates were made in Yankton yesterday that the loss ol life throughout the Territory would run up to over one thousand. The roads Irom the agency were lined with dead cattle, many farmers losing all they had. Although a large number of Indians were out hunting during the storm, none are missing. Another Blizzard. •Sr. Paul, January 24.—Another bliz zard has broken loose northwest of here. A Neche, Dak., special says the mercury went down to 60° below' and the wind reached the velocity of 40 miles an hour last night. It is still blowing and the trains are ten hours late. Brainerd re ports that the storm reached there this morning. A heavy lall ol snow has set in and the wind is blowing a gale. A Fuel Famine. St. Paul, January 24.—The Pioneer press learns from Brown's \ alley, Minn., that fuel there is used up and that pro visions also are getting low. Should another storm prevent the opening of the road within a few days great suiVering can hardly be avoided, especially among the farmers along the line. The Manitoba company is making a fight to open the road, but it is in such a bad shape it is not possible to run a plow fast enough to do good work. A number of farmers went to Beardsly for fuel yesterday and not finding any coal tore down the company's -now lences and hauled away several loads. CAVE IN THE CALUMET. The Burning Shalt Again 'Closed and the Fire, it is Thought, Will Soon be Extinguished. Chicago, Jinuary 24.—A Calumet special says : A cave in at the Calumet and Hecla mines, Saturday, made an aper ture extending fifty feet from the shaft, but it has beeu successfully closed, and the burning shaft is again sealed, l'rot. Agassiz, president of the company, says after per sonally inspecting the condition of the mine, that he consider- the fire almost out, and the question of its complete entin guishment is only one of a few days and that the shaft, which has been burning, can be opened very soon. ;STARVIS<; INDIANS. British Columbia Redskins Threaten to Flunder Government Stores. NEW Yoek, January 24.—A Port Ed monton, British Columbia, special says: The l'itankaan (Weaselskin) tribe of In dians, whose reserve is a few miles north of Victoria, on the Saskatchewan, and about seventy miles from here, threaten to plunder the government stores at Victoria. They have no provisions. Mr. Mitchell, Indian agent of that locality, has just ar rived. He states that the flour and meal contractors did not till their contracts, and this what has caused want among the Indians and made them threaten to resort to violent means for food. Provisions were procured from the Hudson Bay Company s post and distributed among the Indians pending the arrival of provisions from here, which they must have or die. WINTER CARNIVAL. The Ice Palace Opening at St. Paul. St. Paul, January 25.—The hotels are all full lor the opening of the third winter carnival here this afternoon, with line weather, and elaborate programmes have been prepared. The outlook for ten days forward is very favorable. Preparations are much better advanced than at any previous opening. The palace was finish ed last Saturday and everything else is ready. The palace -lands in Central Park and occupies a space of two hundred sijnare feet, and rises to the height of one hundred and thirty feet. In its building upward- of sixty million pounds of ice was used. THE COLORED PEOPLE. Movement for a National Convention. PitTsbueo, Pa., January 25.—A meet ing of prominent colored citizens was held here la-t night to take action in regard to the national convention to be held in "Washington to urge a national emancipa tion holiday. An address was adopted, which will be sent to all parts of the country, urging the colored people to unite in the movement so that the convention can be held on the next Fourth of July. It is proposed that one delegate be sent for every thousand voters in each State and Territory. The address concludes by ex pressing the hope that "all will see the necessity of this convention for the benefit of our race, coming as it does on the eve of one of the most important elections in the political history of America." California Horticultural Society. Sax Francisco, January 24.—The eighth annual session of the American Horticultural Society convened at San Jose to-day. Many of the most prominent men in horticultural and agricultural circles, in the country were present. The session at San Jose will last three or lour days and an adjourned session, which will be held at Riverside, in Southern California, will occupy about the same time. About 200 delegates from different parts of the coun try are present. The afternoon session was mainly devoted to reading a paper by George Husman called "The Outlook ot American Grape Culture" and the discus sion thereof. The formal opening of the citrus fair of the Santa Clara valley, of which San Joee is the center, took place this evening. The delegates of the horticultural society at tended in a body. The address of welcome was made by the mayor and responses by Prof. Kedpath, of Indiana and President Karle. Death of Mrs. McCullough. Philadelphia, January 23.— Letitia McCullough, widow of the tragedian, John McCullough, died yesterday morning at her residence after an illness of three weeks. Died. New York, January 24.—Prof. Nathan Shepard, of Saratoga, N. Y., fell dead from apoplexy this afternoon. New Presidential Candidate. Philadelphia, Janaary 24.— Jas. M. Mann, a recognized leader among the Re publicans of this city says he proposes to work for the nomination of George W. Childs for president of the United States. J I j | j | Live Stock. Chicago, January l-u—Cattle—Receipts 12.000; fancy steers, 3(2,4.90 : Stockers and feeders, firstname.lastname@example.org; Texas cattle, 3.05® 3.50. She«])—Receipts, 6.500 ; slow ; poor to fancy natives, 3®5.25 ; western, 4 50® 5 ; Texans, 2.75@4. . Chicago, January 19.—Cattle—Receipts 11,000 ; strong for good, others weak ; fancy steers 3® 3.85; Stockers and feeders 1.80® 3.10; Texas cattle 190®3. Sheep—Receipts 4.000 : stronger : natives 3 40®e; western 4 50® 5.10; Texans 2.75 @d. Chicago, January .20.—Cattle receipts 10,000; slow and generally 10c lower ; shipping steers 3.0005.00 ; stockera and feeders 2 0003.60. Sheep—Receipts 4,000; strong; Datives 3 00® 5 20; western 4 5t*®510; Texans 3. (MI® 3.75. Chicago, January 23 —Cattle receipts 12,000; dull and generally lower; steers 3.00® 5.00; stockera and feeders email@example.com; Texas cattle 1.80®300. Sheep—Receipts 5,000; steady; natives 3 00®5.50; western 4 50®5.10; Texans 2 90® 4 00. CHICAGO, January 24.—Cattle—Receipts 8,000; stronger ; fancy 5®5.40 ; steers 3 ®4.85; stockers and feeders 1.85®3.40; Texas cattle 1.85®3.85. Sheep—Receipts 7,000 ; steady ; natives 3® 5 25 ; westerns 4.75®5.15 ; Texans 304. Wool Market. BOSTON, January 20.—Wool steady, with good demand. Ohio and Pennsylvania extra fleeces,20@31; X and XXandabove, 32®32', ; No. 1, 35036 ; Michigan extra, 28®29; fine Territory wools, 25027 ; fine medium, 20022 ; medium, 25®27; Texas, 14® 20; California fall, 9® 12; Oregon, 14 ®19; other grades unchanged. Philadelphia, January 20.—Wool quiet. Ohio, Pennsylvania and West Vir ginia N X and above, 30®32 ; X. 30® 31 ; Medium, 36®37; coarse, 36036',; New York, Michigan, Indiami and Western, fine or X and NX, 27®28 ; medium, 36®37 ; coarse, 36® 36 ; fine washed delaine, X and XX, 33@35; medium washed combing and delaine, 37® 38; coarse, 36® 37 ; Can ada washed combing, 35@36 ; tub washed, 37®43: F.astern Oregon, 14®20; valley Oregon, 20®26 : New Mexican and Color ado, 12018. New Yore, JaD .ary 20.—Wool quiet and firm. Domestic tleece, 22037; pulled, 15@40 ; Texas, 13@22. Boston, January 24.—Wool is steady ; Ohio and Pennsylvania extra fleeces, 30® 31 ; XX, 320321 ; No. 1, 45®46; Michi gan extra, 29 ; scoured Territory, 55® 57 ; fine, 50@52; fine medium, 45@75, and 75 for medium. New York, January 24.—Wool is quiet and steady ; domestic fleece, 22® 37 ; pulled, 15®35; Texas, 13@22. Carpet Wools. Boston January 20.—The Commercial Bulletin will give, to-morrow, a special re port on carpet wools and the advisability of removing the existing duty on that grade of fleeces. Opinions are contained in a letter from the largest carpet manufac turers in the country, the leading wool growers (including the president of the Na tional Association ), the leading blanket and woolen manufacturers, and the leading im porters and from the replies it may be said that free carpet wools will be favored by the carpet and blanket manufacturers. The government statistician says a strong mi nority of wool growers, practically the whole of the importers and many of the large manufacturers and dealers, favor the duty ou wool. The duty on wool is favored by the Philadelphia wool trade, in Massa chusetts by the dealers, in the interior markets, and by most of the wool growers. Wool Growers in Council. Columbus, "January 24.—At a meeting of the Ohio wool growers association to dao addresses were delivered by President David Harpster, Columbus Delano and Judge Lawrence. Resolutions were adopt ed which recite that the wool growing in dustry of the United States requires pro tection as favorable as that of 1867 under conditions then existing. It endorses the schedule of duties agreed upon by the re cent conference at Washington and demand its enactment into law and its continuance so long as it will accomplish the purpose. Clearing House Report. Boston, January 22.—Specials to the Post from the managers of the leading clearing houses in the United States show that the gross exchanges for the week end ing January 21st were £917,954,378, a de crease of 8 6 per cent from the correspond ing period last year. Confirmations. Washington, January 19.—E. Semple, governor of Washington Territory: W. E. Hall, secretary of Utah; S. D. Shannon, secretary of Wyoming ; Jdmes Heakley, commissioner for Alaska. To be receiver of public moneys: W. B.Burch,Oregon City; J. H. Polk. Los Angeles, Cal.; T. W T . Slns ser, The Dalles, Oregon. Colonel Wesley Merritt, Fifth Cavalry, to be brigadier-gen eral, and a long list of army and navy pro motions. Presidential Nominations. Washington, January 25.—The Presi dent to-day sent the following nominations to the Senate : Receivers of Public Moneys : Robert Kennedy, at Shasta, California ; J. T. Lin thicum, at Sacramento, California ; Lewis ClyraDger, at Marysville. California ; John J. Orr, of Kentucky, at Buffalo, Wyoming. Registers of the LaDd Office ; Jared A. Van Anken, Central City, Colorado; E. O. Miller, Yasalia, California; J. H. Craddock, Mary-ville, California; H. W. Pattten. Los Angeles, Cala. Edwin Eels, agent for the Indians of the Nisquallie and Skokomish agency, in Washington Territory. James P. Roosevelt, of New York, to be Secretary of Legation of the United States at Vienna. MANITOBA DEFAULT. The Norquay Government More Than a Half Million Behind. Chicago, January 25.—A Winnipeg dispatch says : The defalcation of the Norquay government will prove mach beyond what was first even hinted at. Already Premier Greenway has discovered a deficit of over £500,000. The investi gation revealed that for the sixteen months ending January, 1887, not a single entry had been made in the cash book of the Province Treasurer. On January 1st the cash deficit and issue of provincial bonds amounted to over £475,000. In addition there are a large number of floating debts. The $250,000 subsidy received early in January has already been spent, with the exception of a few thousand dollars. One of the last acts of the Harrison ministry was to pay themselves and most of the civil servants salaries np to February 1st. Greenway intends to get some contractor to finish the Red River railway outside of the government Five Years in the Pen. Cleveland, Ohio, January 25.—Isaac N. Stanley who, as paying teller of the National Bank of Commerce, embezzled $100,000 of the bank's fnnds in 1886 and lost the money in wheat speculations, was to-day sentenced to five years in the Ohio Penitentiary. SAD TALE. ; ; Bill Nye Tells a Story with a Doubtful Moral. This is the story of William Johnson, a Swede, who went to Wyoming territory, per haps fifteen years ago, to seek his fortune amoag strangers, and who, without even a knowledge of the English language, began in his patient way to work at whatever his hands found to do. He was a plain, long legged man, with downcast eyes and nose. There was some surprise expressed all around when he was charged one day by Jake Feinn with feloniously taking, stealing, carrying away and driving away one team of horses, the property of the affiant, and of the value of ?200, contrary to the statutes in such case made and provided, and against the peace and dignity of the territory of Wyom ing. c C V $ Cr F am m m w PLEADING BEFORE THE GOVERNOR. Everybody laughed at the idea of Jake Feinn owning a team worth £200, and, as he was also a chronic litigator, it was generally conceded that Johnson would be discharged. But his misfortunes seemed to swoop down on him from the very first moment. At the preliminary examination Johnson acted like a man who is dazed. He couldn't talk or un derstand English very well. Ho failed to get a lawyer. He pleaded guilty, not know ing what it meant, and was permitted to take it back. lie had no witnesses, and the court was in something of a hurry, as it had to prepare a speech that afternoon to be de livered in the evening on the "Beauties of Eternal Justice," and so it was adjudged that in default of £500 bail the said William John son bo committed to the county jail of Al bany county, in said territory, there to await the action of the grand jury for the succeed ing term of the district court for the Second Judicial district of Wyoming. Finally the regular term of the district court o]>ened. Men who had come from a long distance to vaunt their ignorance and other qualifications as jurors could be seen on the streets. Here and there you could see the familiar faces of those who had served as jurors for years and yet had never lost a case. William Johnson was peculiarly unfortu nate in the selection of his counsel. The man who was appointed to defend him was a very much overestimated young man who started the movement himself. He was courageous, however, and perfectly willing to wado in where angels would naturally hang back. His brain would not have soiled the finest fabric, but his egotism had a biceps muscle on it like a loaf of Vienna bread. He was the kind of a young man who loves to go to see the drama and explain it along about five minutes in advance of the company in a loud, trenchant voice. He defended William Johnson. Thus in the prime of life, hardly understanding a word of the trial, stunned, helpless, alone, the latter began upon his term of five years in the penitentiary. His patient, gentle face impressed me as it did others, and his very helplessness thus became his greatest help. One lawyer said it was an outrage, and Charlie Bramel said that if Johnson would put up £00 he would agree to jerk him out of the jug on a writ of habeas corpus before dinner. Seeing how the sentiment ran, 1 resolved to start a petition for Johnson's pardon. I got the signatures of the court, the court officers, the jury and the leading men of business in the country. Just as I was about to take it to Governor Thayer, there was an incident at the penitentiary. Wm. Johnson had won the hearts of the warden and the guards to that extent that he was sent out one afternoon to assist one of the guards in overseeing the labor of a squad working in a stone quarry near by. Taking advantage of a time when the guard was a few hundred feet away, the other convicts knocked John son down and tried to get away. He got np, however, and interested them till the guard got to him and the escape was prevented. Johnson waited till all was secure again, and then fainted from loss of blood occasioned by a scalp wound over which he had a long fight afterward with erysipelas. This was all lucky for me, and when I pre sented the petition to the governor I had a strong case, made more so by the heroic action of a man who had been unjustly con demned. I spoke earnestly of his good character since his incarceration, and the governor promised prompt action. But ho was called away in December and I feared that he might, in the rush and pressure of other busi ness, forget the case of Johnson till after the holidays. So I telegraphed him and made his life a burden to him till the afternoon of the 24th, when the 4:50 train brought the pardon. I went away to spend my own Christmas, but not till I had given Johnson a few dol lars to help him get another start, and had made him promise to write me how he got along. And so that to me was a memorable and a joyous Christmas, for I had made my self happy by making others happy. Bill Nye. P.S.—Perhaps I ought not to close this ac count so abruptly as I have done, for the reader will naturally ask whether Johnson ever wrote me, as he said he would. I only received one letter from him, and that I found when I got back, a few days after Christmas. It was quite characteristic, and read as follows: "Laramy the twenty-fift dec. "Frext Nie: "When you get this Letter i will Be in A nuther tearritory whare the weekid seize from trubbling & the weery air at Reast excoose my Poor writing I refer above to the tearritory of Utaw where I will begin Life A new & all will be fergott. "I hop god will Reward you In Caise i Sbood not Be Abel to Do so. "You have Bin a good front off me and so i am shure you will enjoy to beer of my suc cess i hope the slooth houmls of Justiss will not try to folly me for it will be worse than Useless as i hav a damsite better team than i had Before. "It is the ShearifTs team wich i have got & his name is denis, tel the Governer to Par den me if i have seeamed Rude i shall go to some new Plais whare i will not be Looked upon with Suehpishion wishing you a mary Crissmus hapy new year and April Fool i will Close from your tru Frent "eil Johnson." Perfumes from Mummies. Mommies beaten up into a powder and mixed with a little oil made for the artists in Egypt richer tones of brown than any other substance. Modern perfumers used to pre pare the perfumes and spices found inside of mummies in such a way as to make ladies "dote on it." Paper manufacturers have used the wrappings of mummies to make coarse paper, and the cloth and rags have been used as clothing.—New York Sun. The Old Man Ahead. "No, Mr. Sampson—George, dear," said the girL "I can never, never be your wife, but I will always be a" "Ah, darling," interposed young Mr. Samp son, and his heart was throbbing the buttons off his new silk vest, "why do you address me in such an endearing term if it can never, never bel" "Because. George, dear," and again the name fell from her lips like music in the night, "I'm to be a mother to you in the spring. Y~our father" But the son-in-law had fled.—New York Sun. Good News. I"? H m By-': T JL J k \ivi "Tom, have you heard the news?' "No, what is it?" "The schoolmaster is dead!" "Bully Î Now I can wear thinner pants."— Life. _ A Keeper of the Truth. A man, dressed in greasy overalls, went into a newspaper office and asked to see the editor. When asked if the city editor or some other man on the force would not do as well, he replied that he had come on very im portant business, and must see the editor-in chief. When "■at last his persistence had forced an entrance into the room where great policies were outlined the editor said: "You were determined to see me; now, as quickly as possible, state j our business." "All right, sir. I like your paper, and I want you to have a chance of saying some thing that will startle the country. For some time I have been engineer at Grayson's mill" "Well, but what have I to do with that?" "Just hold on a minute. This morning the boiler exploded"—— "Go to the city editor if you want to hand in a piece of news." "I thought that I would give you a chance to write a startling editorial." "Editorial the deuce! We have such acci dents nearly every day." "No, you don't. Just give me a chance to get done, and you will thank me. No one was killed when this boiler exploded." "That's nothing strange." "And," continued tho visitor, "no one would have l »een hurt had the boiler exploded five minutes before it did." A strange expression settled upon the editor's face. "Will you please repeat that ?" he ftsked. "I say that no one would have been hurt had the explosion occurred five minutes before it did. All other explosions that I ever heard of would have been five times as dis astrous if they bail occurred a short time before, for a party of young ladies or a com mittee of gentlemen, or some important per sonage had, of course, just left the mill when the explosion occurred." The editor's eyes had grown wonderfully bright. "My dear friend," said he, "dear because you have chosen mo to be the orig inal recipient of this great piece of intelli gence, lead on, and I will follow you. A man with such a glorious appreciation of the truth is a rare jeweL Come, sit down be side me, that I may feel your presence as I write. Stay by me, gentle keeper of the truth, for my mind is stirred up, and I fain would muse."—Arkansaw Traveler. Boom Talk. Winter Visitor in Lower California (hold ing on to a tree and dodging fragments of barns and other personal property whizzing past)—You never have hurricanes or cyclones here, I understand. Is this the regular thing in the zephyr line? Resident (clinging with desperate energy to a grapevine)—The mildness of our cli mate, combined with the unsurpassed fertil ity of soil and the amazing abundance of our luscious tropical fruit, our entire freedom from destructive storms and the unexampled cheapness of our lands—look out for that fly ing liorse trough !—the success that any man with a few hundred dollars can attain in vineyard planting, hop raising or—hold on, can't you ? Don't be in a hurry ! With three acres of land here and a cow—(regretfully)— there he goes, sixty miles an hour, toward Santa Barbara! If he had stuck on two min utes longer I could have convinced him, blast his prejudiced hide!—Chicago Tribune. Fit for the Gods. Young Man (to waiter)—Waiter, I want some roast turkey. Give me the outside slice off the breast, a nice, large piece of the liver, and, as I am hungry, you might bring me both second joints. Waiter—Yes, sir; anythin' else. Young Man (contemplatively)—Yes, there is something more I intended to order. Let Waiter—I guess it must be the earth. How'll you have it cooked?—New York Sun. Solid Meals for an Ostrich. ^ Al—Give mo £5 worth of assorted hard ware. Ed—What do you mean ' Al—That's all right; my wife has a pet os trich. The bird must eat.—Tid Bits. Culture at the Museum. Mrs. N.—My dear, I wish you to observe this beautiful statue of Apollo; and this (pointing to Psyche) is his wife, Apollinaris. —Life. flow It's Done. ,# s*/_, Jilusrr JjrV, j* i L 7H Patron—Waiter, bring me a cup of tea and i leg of turkey. Waiter (to cook)—Soaked mullein and a feyouck kicker.—Nebraska State Journal. A Hearty Acquiescence. Mr. Featherly—"What beautiful teeth Misa Smith hast Miss Sharptongue—Yes, I think this get auch prettier than her other.—Life. Souvenir of tbe Confederacy. H. C. Thaxton, the tax collector of Butta county, Ga., has in his possession a copper souvenir of the late Confederacy. It is about the size of a copper cent, and on one side is a Confederate flag in the center, and around it are the letters, "Our flag," and the date, 1863. On the other side are the words, "If any one attempt to tear it down, shoot him on the spot," with the word "Dixie" in the center.— Chicago News. DEACON BURDETTE'S PHILOSOPHY. IT WAS A COLD DAY. Great surprise is caused by the announce ment that last month a man was frozen to death near Austin, Tex. It isn't the fact of the cold weather that creates the surprise, but rather that the man should have time to freeze to death before he got shot. THAT WAS SOLVED LONG AGO. Mr. Taliafero, of Atlanta, Ga., claims that he has solved the problem of perpetual motion. Ho, ho; the conceit of some men. As though he was the only man in America with a 10-year-old boy. COMING CLOSER TO HUMANITY. This must be the missing link. A goat in Berlin has red whiskers. Now let the scien tists observe closely to see what effect he has upon the white horse, and evolution may stride ahead, not quite a century, perhaps, but as much as fifteen minutes. FAST AND SLOW. All the trains in the west have fast names and slow wires. Possibly this makes the telegraph seem slow'er than it really is. And do you know it is much harder to wait for a fast train than it is for a slow one. It is irri tating to waste one's life at a station and hear an impatient freight conductor extract information from the station agent. "How's the Cannon Ball?" "Four hours late." _ "How's the Flyer?" _ "Three hours late out of Denver." "How's the Thunderbolt?" "Abandoned." "How's the Sleeping Crab?' "She's running on the Incandescent Thun derbolt's time today; went by without stop ping, two hours ago." RHEUMATIC LIGHTNING. Ill all the great, throbbing, pulsing, grow ing, booming west there is one slow thing— lightning. My experience with the telegraph lines was slow, and, to me, very expensive. About 4 o'clock one day, at Topeka, I con fided to the Santa Fe, Colorow and Solar System Telegraph company a telegram to Chicago, one to Paraons, Kan., and one to the Coates house, sixty-six miles away, tell ing the landlord to have my rooms ready at 6:15. The telegram reached the Coates after I had eaten and digested my supper and had gone to bed. The other one reached Chicago some time that same night, and I don't know what became of the one to Parsons. And several other times I tried the telegraph, but only to be convinced that I could have the message delivered a few hours earlier by sticking a special delivery stamp on it and taking it along with me. IT WAS VOLAPUK TO THE NATIVE. "That foreman of yours is a queer fellow," said Mr. Penwiper. "Yes," replied the man ufacturer, "but he is very bright and intelli gent. He is a native, however; was born here in North Carolina forty-six years ago, and has never been outside of the state. Why do you speak of him?' "Why, I gave him a little volume of North Carolina sketches, written by a talented young friend of mine, in the genuine tarheel dialect, and he has just brought it back to me, saying that ho can't understand a word of it." And as Si lence entered the room with her finger on her lips, a long lost grammar in the bookcase could be distinctly heard, parting its speech in the middle. AN EXTRAVAGANZA. Publisher (on the coldest, windiest corner in all the city)—Please, sir, can't you give me a little change for a night's lodging? I hain't had anything to eat all day. Author (bursting in tears and emptying a handful of gold into the outstretched palm;—God bless you, poor man! Here, go tothebest hotel in town and board there all winter. P. S.—This is not funny as it stands, but smiles of Momusl How funny it would be if it were true!—Burdette in Broeklyn Eagle. A Restless Night. rjrlrj®: FrFf > I! Us £ m .Vi Countryman (to hotel clerk)—I reckon you'll have to give me an- 'it other room, mis ter. C1 e r k—What's the matter with the one you have? j» ' Countryman— 1 The sign says: "Don t blow out the gas," an', b'gosh, I can't sleep with all that light in the room.—New York Bun. An Ample Apology. When a Cape' Dutchman undertakes to admit that he was in the wrong he does it thoroughly. Here is a really ample apology translated from Di Afrikaanse, a patriot Transvaal newspaper: "The undersigned, A. C. Du Plessis, re tract hereby everything I have said against the innocent Mr. G. P. Bezuidenhout, calling myself an infamous liar and striking my mouth with the exclamation: 'You menda cious mouth! why do you lie so? I declare further that I know nothing against the character of Mr. G. P. Bezuidenhout. I call myself besides a genuine liar of the first class. "A. C. Du Plessis." Witnesses; J. Du Plessis, J. C. Holmes. —European Cor. New York Sun. Corrigan's Mistake. Exchange Editor—Here is an interview in a Chicago paper with Corrigan, the man who knocked down that Kansas City editor. Editor in Chief—Eh? What does he say? "He says he called at the office and the editor wanted to shoot him, and he (Corri gan) acted only in self defense." "Well! well! Corrigan had no business to infuriate an editor by calling at the office. Why didn't he send his poem by mail?"— Omaha World. After a Cange for Reflection. "What has given you food for such earnest reflection, my young friend?" asked the min ister at the Sunday school picnic, meeting little Johnny sitting silently by the road side. "I was wondering," replied the penitent young scamp, "whether I had just eaten a mushroom or a toad stooL"—Judge. Total Depravity. Young Husband—I caught my hunting dog with a piece of that cake you made yes terday. Young Wife—I guess the new girl gave it to him. "My gracious! I heard her say she didn't like dogs, but I didn't suppose she was such a fiend as that."—Omaha World. A Needed Proviso. Omaha Man—So you are from Kansas, eh? Stranger—No; from Missouri. I am from Kansas City, Mo. "Of course, I forgot. Your friend is from Michigan, I believe?' "No; from Indiana; Michigan City, Ini We are both going to Kansas to found a new town; but we need more capital."" "Well, I'll go with you if you'll promise not to call it Massachusetts City, Kan."— Omaha World. T. P. FI LLER. w p < » el . G . co w o E-i CO n a o o "VAN" WROUGHT IRON HANGER, Opposite First National Bank/ Helena. Established 1864. A. 0. CLARKE. THOMAS CONRAD. J. €. CURTIN. CLARKE, CONRAD & CURTIN Importers of and Jobbers and Bétail Dealers in Heavy Shelf and Building HARDWARE. SOLE AGENTS FOR THE Celebrated "Superior" and Famous Acorn COOKING AND HEATING STOVES, AND W. 8. Fisher's Cincinnati WrougM Iren Raies for Hotels and Family Use, --0-- Iron, Steel, Horse and Mule Shoes, Nails, Mill Supplies, Hoes, Belt ; ing, Force and Lift Pumps, Cutlery, House Furnishing 1 Goods. Centennial Réfrigéra Lor®, Ice Chests, Ice Cream Freezers, Water Coolers Etc., Etc. Vifiitor« to Hie City are respect fully invited to «-all and Examine our Goed* and price« before purchasing. ALL ORDRES RECEIVE PROMPT ATTENTION AND SHIPMENT. CLARKE, CONRAD & CURTIN, 32 and 34 Main Street,.....Helena, M.T. S. C. Ashby <fc Co* Dealers in WAGONS, CARR IAGES, BUGGIES, ETC. We respectfully call your attention to the following list of Standard Goods : Mitehell Farm and Npringî'IViigimt«: Studebaker Bros,* Fill«-furring« «. Eug trie* and Buekboard*«: Frazier Bond Cart*«: Deerinir Finder»« anil Mowers; Pennsylvania l.awn Mower*«: J. H. Thoma*« A Sons' bulky May Kakes: Forst A- Bradley Kiilkcy anti Gang Plows < nliivators anil llain.ws: Standard Disk Harrows: Planet, jr. Garden Drills, Cnlti valors anil Horse H«ies : Grass Need .Sowers: Vietor Feed Mills : Horse Cower« and Grinding Mills: Haud.Rakes. Forks, Shovels, Spades. Mattocks and Hoes: Porcelain Fined Pumps anil Tub ing: Chicago Tongne Scrapers: Columbia W heel and Drag Scrapers : Kailrond Grading Plows : Barb Wire: Bailing Wire: Binding Twine: Heavy and Fight Team Harness; Single ahd Double Buggy Harness: Horse Blankets, Whips l.ap Kobes; Tents anil Awnings (: Buggy, 4 arriage anil H agon 4 overs? Ele.. Etc. Togther with a full line of Extras anil Bepairs for Wagons, Carriages. Bug gies, Binders anil all Maehiney.l Orders by Mail reeeive prompt attention. North Main Street, Helena, Montana. SANDS BROS. New Arrival of WALL PAPER, CARPETS, AND HOUSE F UBNIBHIN G G0QJ)S. We carry the largest line of the above stock in .Mon tana. Orders receive prompt attention. SANDS BROS. Spencer & Nye* Manufacturers and Dealers in HARNESS AND SADDLES. HELENA,........ MONTANA. Send for7 Illustrated Catalogue. URPEE'S SEEDS W. ATLEE BURPEE * FARM ANNUAL FQX1888 Will be sent FREE to »11 who write for it- It is a Handsome Book of 128 pp.. with hundreds of illus trations. Colored Plate», and tells all about the BEST GARDEN, FARM, and FLOWER CO., PHILADELPHIA^ PA, ATTENTION! Purchasers of CARPETS, WALL PAPER,and HOUSE FURIC ISHINC GOODS, Will Save Money by awaiting th* arrival of a. r. riBTiv« NEW STOCK. Nothing Ilk* it ever before shipped to this market.