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Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, January 26, 1888, Image 6

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THE DEATH RECORD
A Thousand People Perish in the
Dakota Storms---Babies Freeze
in the Cars.
Chicago, January 21.—A Nebraska City
special says : Judge Kenney, agent ol the
Yankton Sioux Indian reservation, arrived
here yesterday. It took him five days to
go thirty miles, the thermometer being 40
below most of the time. The coal on the
train ran low. The passengers all crowded
into one car. The men discarded their
outer garments and wrapped the women
and children up in them. Two babies
perished. The Judge says the loss of life
in Dakota is underestimated. The^ news
papers have tried to cover it up. While at
the station in Bonhomme county, nine
frozen bodies were brought into the depot
in one day. The loss in the whole county
will reach 160, and estimates were made in
Yankton yesterday that the loss ol life
throughout the Territory would run up to
over one thousand. The roads Irom the
agency were lined with dead cattle, many
farmers losing all they had. Although a
large number of Indians were out hunting
during the storm, none are missing.
Another Blizzard.
•Sr. Paul, January 24.—Another bliz
zard has broken loose northwest of here.
A Neche, Dak., special says the mercury
went down to 60° below' and the wind
reached the velocity of 40 miles an hour
last night. It is still blowing and the
trains are ten hours late. Brainerd re
ports that the storm reached there this
morning. A heavy lall ol snow has set in
and the wind is blowing a gale.
A Fuel Famine.
St. Paul, January 24.—The Pioneer
press learns from Brown's \ alley, Minn.,
that fuel there is used up and that pro
visions also are getting low. Should
another storm prevent the opening of the
road within a few days great suiVering can
hardly be avoided, especially among the
farmers along the line. The Manitoba
company is making a fight to open the
road, but it is in such a bad shape it is not
possible to run a plow fast enough to do
good work. A number of farmers went to
Beardsly for fuel yesterday and not finding
any coal tore down the company's -now
lences and hauled away several loads.
CAVE IN THE CALUMET.
The Burning Shalt Again 'Closed and
the Fire, it is Thought, Will
Soon be Extinguished.
Chicago, Jinuary 24.—A Calumet
special says : A cave in at the Calumet
and Hecla mines, Saturday, made an aper
ture extending fifty feet from the shaft,
but it has beeu successfully closed, and the
burning shaft is again sealed, l'rot. Agassiz,
president of the company, says after per
sonally inspecting the condition of the
mine, that he consider- the fire almost out,
and the question of its complete entin
guishment is only one of a few days and
that the shaft, which has been burning,
can be opened very soon.
;STARVIS<; INDIANS.
British Columbia Redskins Threaten
to Flunder Government Stores.
NEW Yoek, January 24.—A Port Ed
monton, British Columbia, special says:
The l'itankaan (Weaselskin) tribe of In
dians, whose reserve is a few miles north
of Victoria, on the Saskatchewan, and
about seventy miles from here, threaten to
plunder the government stores at Victoria.
They have no provisions. Mr. Mitchell,
Indian agent of that locality, has just ar
rived. He states that the flour and meal
contractors did not till their contracts, and
this what has caused want among the
Indians and made them threaten to resort
to violent means for food. Provisions were
procured from the Hudson Bay Company s
post and distributed among the Indians
pending the arrival of provisions from here,
which they must have or die.
WINTER CARNIVAL.
The Ice Palace Opening at St. Paul.
St. Paul, January 25.—The hotels are
all full lor the opening of the third winter
carnival here this afternoon, with line
weather, and elaborate programmes have
been prepared. The outlook for ten days
forward is very favorable. Preparations
are much better advanced than at any
previous opening. The palace was finish
ed last Saturday and everything else is
ready. The palace -lands in Central Park
and occupies a space of two hundred
sijnare feet, and rises to the height of one
hundred and thirty feet. In its building
upward- of sixty million pounds of ice
was used.
THE COLORED PEOPLE.
Movement for a National Convention.
PitTsbueo, Pa., January 25.—A meet
ing of prominent colored citizens was held
here la-t night to take action in regard to
the national convention to be held in
"Washington to urge a national emancipa
tion holiday. An address was adopted,
which will be sent to all parts of the
country, urging the colored people to unite
in the movement so that the convention
can be held on the next Fourth of July.
It is proposed that one delegate be sent for
every thousand voters in each State and
Territory. The address concludes by ex
pressing the hope that "all will see the
necessity of this convention for the benefit
of our race, coming as it does on the eve of
one of the most important elections in the
political history of America."
California Horticultural Society.
Sax Francisco, January 24.—The
eighth annual session of the American
Horticultural Society convened at San Jose
to-day. Many of the most prominent men
in horticultural and agricultural circles, in
the country were present. The session at
San Jose will last three or lour days and
an adjourned session, which will be held
at Riverside, in Southern California, will
occupy about the same time. About 200
delegates from different parts of the coun
try are present. The afternoon session
was mainly devoted to reading a paper by
George Husman called "The Outlook ot
American Grape Culture" and the discus
sion thereof.
The formal opening of the citrus fair of
the Santa Clara valley, of which San Joee
is the center, took place this evening. The
delegates of the horticultural society at
tended in a body. The address of welcome
was made by the mayor and responses by
Prof. Kedpath, of Indiana and President
Karle.
Death of Mrs. McCullough.
Philadelphia, January 23.— Letitia
McCullough, widow of the tragedian, John
McCullough, died yesterday morning at her
residence after an illness of three weeks.
Died.
New York, January 24.—Prof. Nathan
Shepard, of Saratoga, N. Y., fell dead from
apoplexy this afternoon.
New Presidential Candidate.
Philadelphia, Janaary 24.— Jas. M.
Mann, a recognized leader among the Re
publicans of this city says he proposes to
work for the nomination of George W.
Childs for president of the United States.
J
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Live Stock.
Chicago, January l-u—Cattle—Receipts
12.000; fancy steers, 3(2,4.90 : Stockers and
feeders, [email protected]; Texas cattle, 3.05® 3.50.
She«])—Receipts, 6.500 ; slow ; poor to
fancy natives, 3®5.25 ; western, 4 50® 5 ;
Texans, [email protected] .
Chicago, January 19.—Cattle—Receipts
11,000 ; strong for good, others weak ; fancy
steers 3® 3.85; Stockers and feeders 1.80®
3.10; Texas cattle 190®3.
Sheep—Receipts 4.000 : stronger : natives
3 40®e; western 4 50® 5.10; Texans 2.75
@d.
Chicago, January .20.—Cattle receipts
10,000; slow and generally 10c lower ;
shipping steers 3.0005.00 ; stockera and
feeders 2 0003.60.
Sheep—Receipts 4,000; strong; Datives
3 00® 5 20; western 4 5t*®510; Texans
3. (MI® 3.75.
Chicago, January 23 —Cattle receipts
12,000; dull and generally lower; steers
3.00® 5.00; stockera and feeders [email protected];
Texas cattle 1.80®300.
Sheep—Receipts 5,000; steady; natives
3 00®5.50; western 4 50®5.10; Texans
2 90® 4 00.
CHICAGO, January 24.—Cattle—Receipts
8,000; stronger ; fancy 5®5.40 ; steers 3
®4.85; stockers and feeders 1.85®3.40;
Texas cattle 1.85®3.85.
Sheep—Receipts 7,000 ; steady ; natives
3® 5 25 ; westerns 4.75®5.15 ; Texans 304.
Wool Market.
BOSTON, January 20.—Wool steady, with
good demand. Ohio and Pennsylvania
extra fleeces,[email protected]; X and XXandabove,
32®32', ; No. 1, 35036 ; Michigan extra,
28®29; fine Territory wools, 25027 ; fine
medium, 20022 ; medium, 25®27; Texas,
14® 20; California fall, 9® 12; Oregon, 14
®19; other grades unchanged.
Philadelphia, January 20.—Wool
quiet. Ohio, Pennsylvania and West Vir
ginia N X and above, 30®32 ; X. 30® 31 ;
Medium, 36®37; coarse, 36036',; New
York, Michigan, Indiami and Western, fine
or X and NX, 27®28 ; medium, 36®37 ;
coarse, 36® 36 ; fine washed delaine, X and
XX, [email protected]; medium washed combing
and delaine, 37® 38; coarse, 36® 37 ; Can
ada washed combing, [email protected] ; tub washed,
37®43: F.astern Oregon, 14®20; valley
Oregon, 20®26 : New Mexican and Color
ado, 12018.
New Yore, JaD .ary 20.—Wool quiet
and firm. Domestic tleece, 22037; pulled,
[email protected] ; Texas, [email protected]
Boston, January 24.—Wool is steady ;
Ohio and Pennsylvania extra fleeces, 30®
31 ; XX, 320321 ; No. 1, 45®46; Michi
gan extra, 29 ; scoured Territory, 55® 57 ;
fine, [email protected]; fine medium, [email protected], and 75
for medium.
New York, January 24.—Wool is quiet
and steady ; domestic fleece, 22® 37 ;
pulled, 15®35; Texas, [email protected]
Carpet Wools.
Boston January 20.—The Commercial
Bulletin will give, to-morrow, a special re
port on carpet wools and the advisability
of removing the existing duty on that
grade of fleeces. Opinions are contained in
a letter from the largest carpet manufac
turers in the country, the leading wool
growers (including the president of the Na
tional Association ), the leading blanket and
woolen manufacturers, and the leading im
porters and from the replies it may be said
that free carpet wools will be favored by
the carpet and blanket manufacturers. The
government statistician says a strong mi
nority of wool growers, practically the
whole of the importers and many of the
large manufacturers and dealers, favor the
duty ou wool. The duty on wool is favored
by the Philadelphia wool trade, in Massa
chusetts by the dealers, in the interior
markets, and by most of the wool growers.
Wool Growers in Council.
Columbus, "January 24.—At a meeting
of the Ohio wool growers association to
dao addresses were delivered by President
David Harpster, Columbus Delano and
Judge Lawrence. Resolutions were adopt
ed which recite that the wool growing in
dustry of the United States requires pro
tection as favorable as that of 1867 under
conditions then existing. It endorses the
schedule of duties agreed upon by the re
cent conference at Washington and demand
its enactment into law and its continuance
so long as it will accomplish the purpose.
Clearing House Report.
Boston, January 22.—Specials to the
Post from the managers of the leading
clearing houses in the United States show
that the gross exchanges for the week end
ing January 21st were £917,954,378, a de
crease of 8 6 per cent from the correspond
ing period last year.
Confirmations.
Washington, January 19.—E. Semple,
governor of Washington Territory: W. E.
Hall, secretary of Utah; S. D. Shannon,
secretary of Wyoming ; Jdmes Heakley,
commissioner for Alaska. To be receiver of
public moneys: W. B.Burch,Oregon City;
J. H. Polk. Los Angeles, Cal.; T. W T . Slns
ser, The Dalles, Oregon. Colonel Wesley
Merritt, Fifth Cavalry, to be brigadier-gen
eral, and a long list of army and navy pro
motions.
Presidential Nominations.
Washington, January 25.—The Presi
dent to-day sent the following nominations
to the Senate :
Receivers of Public Moneys : Robert
Kennedy, at Shasta, California ; J. T. Lin
thicum, at Sacramento, California ; Lewis
ClyraDger, at Marysville. California ; John
J. Orr, of Kentucky, at Buffalo, Wyoming.
Registers of the LaDd Office ; Jared A.
Van Anken, Central City, Colorado; E. O.
Miller, Yasalia, California; J. H. Craddock,
Mary-ville, California; H. W. Pattten. Los
Angeles, Cala.
Edwin Eels, agent for the Indians of the
Nisquallie and Skokomish agency, in
Washington Territory.
James P. Roosevelt, of New York, to be
Secretary of Legation of the United States
at Vienna.
MANITOBA DEFAULT.
The Norquay Government More Than
a Half Million Behind.
Chicago, January 25.—A Winnipeg
dispatch says : The defalcation of the
Norquay government will prove mach
beyond what was first even hinted at.
Already Premier Greenway has discovered
a deficit of over £500,000. The investi
gation revealed that for the sixteen months
ending January, 1887, not a single entry
had been made in the cash book of the
Province Treasurer. On January 1st the
cash deficit and issue of provincial bonds
amounted to over £475,000. In addition
there are a large number of floating debts.
The $250,000 subsidy received early in
January has already been spent, with the
exception of a few thousand dollars. One
of the last acts of the Harrison ministry
was to pay themselves and most of the
civil servants salaries np to February 1st.
Greenway intends to get some contractor
to finish the Red River railway outside of
the government
Five Years in the Pen.
Cleveland, Ohio, January 25.—Isaac
N. Stanley who, as paying teller of the
National Bank of Commerce, embezzled
$100,000 of the bank's fnnds in 1886 and
lost the money in wheat speculations, was
to-day sentenced to five years in the Ohio
Penitentiary.
SAD
TALE.
;
;
Bill Nye Tells a Story with a Doubtful
Moral.
This is the story of William Johnson, a
Swede, who went to Wyoming territory, per
haps fifteen years ago, to seek his fortune
amoag strangers, and who, without even a
knowledge of the English language, began in
his patient way to work at whatever his
hands found to do. He was a plain, long
legged man, with downcast eyes and nose.
There was some surprise expressed all
around when he was charged one day by
Jake Feinn with feloniously taking, stealing,
carrying away and driving away one team
of horses, the property of the affiant, and of
the value of ?200, contrary to the statutes in
such case made and provided, and against the
peace and dignity of the territory of Wyom
ing.
c C V $ Cr F
am
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PLEADING BEFORE THE GOVERNOR.
Everybody laughed at the idea of Jake
Feinn owning a team worth £200, and, as he
was also a chronic litigator, it was generally
conceded that Johnson would be discharged.
But his misfortunes seemed to swoop down
on him from the very first moment. At the
preliminary examination Johnson acted like
a man who is dazed. He couldn't talk or un
derstand English very well. Ho failed to
get a lawyer. He pleaded guilty, not know
ing what it meant, and was permitted to
take it back. lie had no witnesses, and the
court was in something of a hurry, as it had
to prepare a speech that afternoon to be de
livered in the evening on the "Beauties of
Eternal Justice," and so it was adjudged that
in default of £500 bail the said William John
son bo committed to the county jail of Al
bany county, in said territory, there to await
the action of the grand jury for the succeed
ing term of the district court for the Second
Judicial district of Wyoming.
Finally the regular term of the district
court o]>ened. Men who had come from a
long distance to vaunt their ignorance and
other qualifications as jurors could be seen
on the streets. Here and there you could see
the familiar faces of those who had served as
jurors for years and yet had never lost a
case.
William Johnson was peculiarly unfortu
nate in the selection of his counsel. The man
who was appointed to defend him was a very
much overestimated young man who started
the movement himself. He was courageous,
however, and perfectly willing to wado in
where angels would naturally hang back.
His brain would not have soiled the finest
fabric, but his egotism had a biceps muscle
on it like a loaf of Vienna bread. He was
the kind of a young man who loves to go to
see the drama and explain it along about five
minutes in advance of the company in a loud,
trenchant voice.
He defended William Johnson. Thus in
the prime of life, hardly understanding a
word of the trial, stunned, helpless, alone,
the latter began upon his term of five years
in the penitentiary. His patient, gentle face
impressed me as it did others, and his very
helplessness thus became his greatest help.
One lawyer said it was an outrage, and
Charlie Bramel said that if Johnson would
put up £00 he would agree to jerk him out of
the jug on a writ of habeas corpus before
dinner.
Seeing how the sentiment ran, 1 resolved
to start a petition for Johnson's pardon. I
got the signatures of the court, the court
officers, the jury and the leading men of
business in the country. Just as I was about
to take it to Governor Thayer, there was an
incident at the penitentiary. Wm. Johnson
had won the hearts of the warden and the
guards to that extent that he was sent out
one afternoon to assist one of the guards in
overseeing the labor of a squad working in a
stone quarry near by. Taking advantage of
a time when the guard was a few hundred
feet away, the other convicts knocked John
son down and tried to get away. He got np,
however, and interested them till the guard
got to him and the escape was prevented.
Johnson waited till all was secure again, and
then fainted from loss of blood occasioned by
a scalp wound over which he had a long fight
afterward with erysipelas.
This was all lucky for me, and when I pre
sented the petition to the governor I had a
strong case, made more so by the heroic
action of a man who had been unjustly con
demned.
I spoke earnestly of his good character
since his incarceration, and the governor
promised prompt action. But ho was called
away in December and I feared that he
might, in the rush and pressure of other busi
ness, forget the case of Johnson till after the
holidays. So I telegraphed him and made
his life a burden to him till the afternoon of
the 24th, when the 4:50 train brought the
pardon.
I went away to spend my own Christmas,
but not till I had given Johnson a few dol
lars to help him get another start, and had
made him promise to write me how he got
along. And so that to me was a memorable
and a joyous Christmas, for I had made my
self happy by making others happy.
Bill Nye.
P.S.—Perhaps I ought not to close this ac
count so abruptly as I have done, for the
reader will naturally ask whether Johnson
ever wrote me, as he said he would. I only
received one letter from him, and that I
found when I got back, a few days after
Christmas. It was quite characteristic, and
read as follows:
"Laramy the twenty-fift dec.
"Frext Nie:
"When you get this Letter i will Be in A
nuther tearritory whare the weekid seize
from trubbling & the weery air at Reast
excoose my Poor writing I refer above to
the tearritory of Utaw where I will begin
Life A new & all will be fergott.
"I hop god will Reward you In Caise i
Sbood not Be Abel to Do so.
"You have Bin a good front off me and so
i am shure you will enjoy to beer of my suc
cess i hope the slooth houmls of Justiss will
not try to folly me for it will be worse than
Useless as i hav a damsite better team than i
had Before.
"It is the ShearifTs team wich i have got
& his name is denis, tel the Governer to Par
den me if i have seeamed Rude i shall go to
some new Plais whare i will not be Looked
upon with Suehpishion wishing you a mary
Crissmus hapy new year and April Fool i
will Close from your tru Frent
"eil Johnson."
Perfumes from Mummies.
Mommies beaten up into a powder and
mixed with a little oil made for the artists in
Egypt richer tones of brown than any other
substance. Modern perfumers used to pre
pare the perfumes and spices found inside of
mummies in such a way as to make ladies
"dote on it." Paper manufacturers have
used the wrappings of mummies to make
coarse paper, and the cloth and rags have
been used as clothing.—New York Sun.
The Old Man Ahead.
"No, Mr. Sampson—George, dear," said
the girL "I can never, never be your wife,
but I will always be a"
"Ah, darling," interposed young Mr. Samp
son, and his heart was throbbing the buttons
off his new silk vest, "why do you address
me in such an endearing term if it can never,
never bel"
"Because. George, dear," and again the
name fell from her lips like music in the
night, "I'm to be a mother to you in the
spring. Y~our father"
But the son-in-law had fled.—New York
Sun.
Good News.
I"?
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By-':
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"Tom, have you heard the news?'
"No, what is it?"
"The schoolmaster is dead!"
"Bully Î Now I can wear thinner pants."—
Life. _
A Keeper of the Truth.
A man, dressed in greasy overalls, went
into a newspaper office and asked to see the
editor. When asked if the city editor or
some other man on the force would not do as
well, he replied that he had come on very im
portant business, and must see the editor-in
chief. When "■at last his persistence had
forced an entrance into the room where
great policies were outlined the editor said:
"You were determined to see me; now, as
quickly as possible, state j our business."
"All right, sir. I like your paper, and I
want you to have a chance of saying some
thing that will startle the country. For
some time I have been engineer at Grayson's
mill"
"Well, but what have I to do with that?"
"Just hold on a minute. This morning the
boiler exploded"——
"Go to the city editor if you want to hand
in a piece of news."
"I thought that I would give you a chance
to write a startling editorial."
"Editorial the deuce! We have such acci
dents nearly every day."
"No, you don't. Just give me a chance to
get done, and you will thank me. No one
was killed when this boiler exploded."
"That's nothing strange."
"And," continued tho visitor, "no one
would have l »een hurt had the boiler exploded
five minutes before it did."
A strange expression settled upon the
editor's face. "Will you please repeat that ?"
he ftsked.
"I say that no one would have been hurt
had the explosion occurred five minutes before
it did. All other explosions that I ever
heard of would have been five times as dis
astrous if they bail occurred a short time
before, for a party of young ladies or a com
mittee of gentlemen, or some important per
sonage had, of course, just left the mill when
the explosion occurred."
The editor's eyes had grown wonderfully
bright. "My dear friend," said he, "dear
because you have chosen mo to be the orig
inal recipient of this great piece of intelli
gence, lead on, and I will follow you. A
man with such a glorious appreciation of the
truth is a rare jeweL Come, sit down be
side me, that I may feel your presence as I
write. Stay by me, gentle keeper of the
truth, for my mind is stirred up, and I fain
would muse."—Arkansaw Traveler.
Boom Talk.
Winter Visitor in Lower California (hold
ing on to a tree and dodging fragments of
barns and other personal property whizzing
past)—You never have hurricanes or cyclones
here, I understand. Is this the regular thing
in the zephyr line?
Resident (clinging with desperate energy
to a grapevine)—The mildness of our cli
mate, combined with the unsurpassed fertil
ity of soil and the amazing abundance of our
luscious tropical fruit, our entire freedom
from destructive storms and the unexampled
cheapness of our lands—look out for that fly
ing liorse trough !—the success that any man
with a few hundred dollars can attain in
vineyard planting, hop raising or—hold on,
can't you ? Don't be in a hurry ! With three
acres of land here and a cow—(regretfully)—
there he goes, sixty miles an hour, toward
Santa Barbara! If he had stuck on two min
utes longer I could have convinced him, blast
his prejudiced hide!—Chicago Tribune.
Fit for the Gods.
Young Man (to waiter)—Waiter, I want
some roast turkey. Give me the outside slice
off the breast, a nice, large piece of the liver,
and, as I am hungry, you might bring me
both second joints.
Waiter—Yes, sir; anythin' else.
Young Man (contemplatively)—Yes, there
is something more I intended to order. Let
Waiter—I guess it must be the earth.
How'll you have it cooked?—New York Sun.
Solid Meals for an Ostrich.
^ Al—Give mo £5 worth of assorted hard
ware.
Ed—What do you mean '
Al—That's all right; my wife has a pet os
trich. The bird must eat.—Tid Bits.
Culture at the Museum.
Mrs. N.—My dear, I wish you to observe
this beautiful statue of Apollo; and this
(pointing to Psyche) is his wife, Apollinaris.
—Life.
flow It's Done.
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Jilusrr JjrV,
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Patron—Waiter, bring me a cup of tea and
i leg of turkey.
Waiter (to cook)—Soaked mullein and a
feyouck kicker.—Nebraska State Journal.
A Hearty Acquiescence.
Mr. Featherly—"What beautiful teeth Misa
Smith hast
Miss Sharptongue—Yes, I think this get
auch prettier than her other.—Life.
Souvenir of tbe Confederacy.
H. C. Thaxton, the tax collector of Butta
county, Ga., has in his possession a copper
souvenir of the late Confederacy. It is about
the size of a copper cent, and on one side is a
Confederate flag in the center, and around it
are the letters, "Our flag," and the date, 1863.
On the other side are the words, "If any one
attempt to tear it down, shoot him on the
spot," with the word "Dixie" in the center.—
Chicago News.
DEACON BURDETTE'S PHILOSOPHY.
IT WAS A COLD DAY.
Great surprise is caused by the announce
ment that last month a man was frozen to
death near Austin, Tex. It isn't the fact of
the cold weather that creates the surprise,
but rather that the man should have time to
freeze to death before he got shot.
THAT WAS SOLVED LONG AGO.
Mr. Taliafero, of Atlanta, Ga., claims that
he has solved the problem of perpetual
motion. Ho, ho; the conceit of some men.
As though he was the only man in America
with a 10-year-old boy.
COMING CLOSER TO HUMANITY.
This must be the missing link. A goat in
Berlin has red whiskers. Now let the scien
tists observe closely to see what effect he has
upon the white horse, and evolution may
stride ahead, not quite a century, perhaps,
but as much as fifteen minutes.
FAST AND SLOW.
All the trains in the west have fast names
and slow wires. Possibly this makes the
telegraph seem slow'er than it really is. And
do you know it is much harder to wait for a
fast train than it is for a slow one. It is irri
tating to waste one's life at a station and
hear an impatient freight conductor extract
information from the station agent.
"How's the Cannon Ball?"
"Four hours late." _
"How's the Flyer?" _
"Three hours late out of Denver."
"How's the Thunderbolt?"
"Abandoned."
"How's the Sleeping Crab?'
"She's running on the Incandescent Thun
derbolt's time today; went by without stop
ping, two hours ago."
RHEUMATIC LIGHTNING.
Ill all the great, throbbing, pulsing, grow
ing, booming west there is one slow thing—
lightning. My experience with the telegraph
lines was slow, and, to me, very expensive.
About 4 o'clock one day, at Topeka, I con
fided to the Santa Fe, Colorow and Solar
System Telegraph company a telegram to
Chicago, one to Paraons, Kan., and one to
the Coates house, sixty-six miles away, tell
ing the landlord to have my rooms ready at
6:15. The telegram reached the Coates after
I had eaten and digested my supper and had
gone to bed. The other one reached Chicago
some time that same night, and I don't know
what became of the one to Parsons. And
several other times I tried the telegraph, but
only to be convinced that I could have the
message delivered a few hours earlier by
sticking a special delivery stamp on it and
taking it along with me.
IT WAS VOLAPUK TO THE NATIVE.
"That foreman of yours is a queer fellow,"
said Mr. Penwiper. "Yes," replied the man
ufacturer, "but he is very bright and intelli
gent. He is a native, however; was born
here in North Carolina forty-six years ago,
and has never been outside of the state. Why
do you speak of him?' "Why, I gave him a
little volume of North Carolina sketches,
written by a talented young friend of mine,
in the genuine tarheel dialect, and he has
just brought it back to me, saying that ho
can't understand a word of it." And as Si
lence entered the room with her finger on
her lips, a long lost grammar in the bookcase
could be distinctly heard, parting its speech
in the middle.
AN EXTRAVAGANZA.
Publisher (on the coldest, windiest corner
in all the city)—Please, sir, can't you give
me a little change for a night's lodging? I
hain't had anything to eat all day. Author
(bursting in tears and emptying a handful
of gold into the outstretched palm;—God
bless you, poor man! Here, go tothebest
hotel in town and board there all winter.
P. S.—This is not funny as it stands, but
smiles of Momusl How funny it would be if
it were true!—Burdette in Broeklyn Eagle.
A Restless Night.
rjrlrj®:
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Us
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.Vi
Countryman (to
hotel clerk)—I
reckon you'll have
to give me an- 'it
other room, mis
ter.
C1 e r k—What's
the matter with
the one you have? j» '
Countryman— 1
The sign says:
"Don t blow out the gas," an', b'gosh, I can't
sleep with all that light in the room.—New
York Bun.
An Ample Apology.
When a Cape' Dutchman undertakes to
admit that he was in the wrong he does it
thoroughly. Here is a really ample apology
translated from Di Afrikaanse, a patriot
Transvaal newspaper:
"The undersigned, A. C. Du Plessis, re
tract hereby everything I have said against
the innocent Mr. G. P. Bezuidenhout, calling
myself an infamous liar and striking my
mouth with the exclamation: 'You menda
cious mouth! why do you lie so? I declare
further that I know nothing against the
character of Mr. G. P. Bezuidenhout. I call
myself besides a genuine liar of the first class.
"A. C. Du Plessis."
Witnesses;
J. Du Plessis,
J. C. Holmes.
—European Cor. New York Sun.
Corrigan's Mistake.
Exchange Editor—Here is an interview in
a Chicago paper with Corrigan, the man who
knocked down that Kansas City editor.
Editor in Chief—Eh? What does he say?
"He says he called at the office and the
editor wanted to shoot him, and he (Corri
gan) acted only in self defense."
"Well! well! Corrigan had no business to
infuriate an editor by calling at the office.
Why didn't he send his poem by mail?"—
Omaha World.
After a Cange for Reflection.
"What has given you food for such earnest
reflection, my young friend?" asked the min
ister at the Sunday school picnic, meeting
little Johnny sitting silently by the road
side.
"I was wondering," replied the penitent
young scamp, "whether I had just eaten a
mushroom or a toad stooL"—Judge.
Total Depravity.
Young Husband—I caught my hunting
dog with a piece of that cake you made yes
terday.
Young Wife—I guess the new girl gave it
to him.
"My gracious! I heard her say she didn't
like dogs, but I didn't suppose she was such a
fiend as that."—Omaha World.
A Needed Proviso.
Omaha Man—So you are from Kansas, eh?
Stranger—No; from Missouri. I am from
Kansas City, Mo.
"Of course, I forgot. Your friend is from
Michigan, I believe?'
"No; from Indiana; Michigan City, Ini
We are both going to Kansas to found a new
town; but we need more capital.""
"Well, I'll go with you if you'll promise
not to call it Massachusetts City, Kan."—
Omaha World.
T. P. FI LLER.
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"VAN" WROUGHT IRON HANGER,
Opposite First National Bank/ Helena.
Established 1864.
A. 0. CLARKE. THOMAS CONRAD. J. €. CURTIN.
CLARKE, CONRAD & CURTIN
Importers of and Jobbers and Bétail Dealers in
Heavy Shelf and Building
HARDWARE.
SOLE AGENTS FOR THE
Celebrated "Superior" and Famous Acorn
COOKING AND HEATING STOVES,
AND
W. 8. Fisher's Cincinnati WrougM Iren Raies for Hotels and Family Use,
--0--
Iron, Steel, Horse and Mule Shoes, Nails, Mill Supplies, Hoes, Belt
; ing, Force and Lift Pumps, Cutlery, House Furnishing 1 Goods.
Centennial Réfrigéra Lor®, Ice Chests, Ice Cream Freezers,
Water Coolers Etc., Etc.
Vifiitor« to Hie City are respect fully invited to «-all and Examine our Goed*
and price« before purchasing.
ALL ORDRES RECEIVE PROMPT ATTENTION AND SHIPMENT.
CLARKE, CONRAD & CURTIN,
32 and 34 Main Street,.....Helena, M.T.
S. C. Ashby <fc Co*
Dealers in
WAGONS, CARR IAGES, BUGGIES, ETC.
We respectfully call your attention to the following list of
Standard Goods :
Mitehell Farm and Npringî'IViigimt«: Studebaker Bros,* Fill«-furring« «. Eug
trie* and Buekboard*«: Frazier Bond Cart*«: Deerinir Finder»« anil Mowers;
Pennsylvania l.awn Mower*«: J. H. Thoma*« A Sons' bulky May Kakes: Forst
A- Bradley Kiilkcy anti Gang Plows < nliivators anil llain.ws: Standard Disk
Harrows: Planet, jr. Garden Drills, Cnlti valors anil Horse H«ies : Grass Need
.Sowers: Vietor Feed Mills : Horse Cower« and Grinding Mills: Haud.Rakes.
Forks, Shovels, Spades. Mattocks and Hoes: Porcelain Fined Pumps anil Tub
ing: Chicago Tongne Scrapers: Columbia W heel and Drag Scrapers : Kailrond
Grading Plows : Barb Wire: Bailing Wire: Binding Twine: Heavy and Fight
Team Harness; Single ahd Double Buggy Harness: Horse Blankets, Whips
l.ap Kobes; Tents anil Awnings (: Buggy, 4 arriage anil H agon 4 overs? Ele.. Etc.
Togther with a full line of Extras anil Bepairs for Wagons, Carriages. Bug
gies, Binders anil all Maehiney.l Orders by Mail reeeive prompt attention.
North Main Street, Helena, Montana.
SANDS BROS.
New Arrival of
WALL PAPER,
CARPETS,
AND
HOUSE F UBNIBHIN G G0QJ)S.
We carry the largest line of the above stock in .Mon
tana. Orders receive prompt attention.
SANDS BROS.
Spencer & Nye*
Manufacturers and Dealers in
HARNESS AND SADDLES.
HELENA,........ MONTANA.
Send for7 Illustrated Catalogue.
URPEE'S
SEEDS
W. ATLEE BURPEE *
FARM ANNUAL FQX1888
Will be sent FREE to »11 who write for it- It is a
Handsome Book of 128 pp.. with hundreds of illus
trations. Colored Plate», and tells all about the
BEST GARDEN, FARM, and FLOWER
CO., PHILADELPHIA^ PA,
ATTENTION!
Purchasers of
CARPETS, WALL PAPER,and HOUSE FURIC
ISHINC GOODS,
Will Save Money by awaiting th* arrival of
a. r. riBTiv«
NEW STOCK.
Nothing Ilk* it ever before shipped to this market.

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