Newspaper Page Text
3 s? mwmm KCt l888. Volume XX2. Helena, Montana, Thursday, March R E. FISK D. W. FISK. A. J. FISK Publishers and Proprietors. Largest Circulation of any Paper in Montana -O Rates of Subscription. WEEKLY "herald : One Year, (in advance).............................?3 00 8ix Monthg, (in advance)............................... 1 75 Three Months, (in advance).......................... 1 00 When not paid for in advance the rate will be Four Dollars per ycaii Postage, in all cases, Prepaid. DAILY HERALD: City Subscribers,delivered by carrier Si .00a month One Year, by mail, (in advance)................. #9 00 Six Months, by mail, (in advance)............... 5 00 Three Months, by mail, (in advance)........... 2 50 Jf not paid in advance, 812 per annum. [Entered at the Postoffice at Helena as second elass matter.] d#"All communications should Vie addressedto FISK BROS., Publishers, Helena, Montana. QUIET CHUCKLES. "Did you ever go tobogganing, Mr. TTinterwheat?" "No," sai<l the old man, "but I once stepped into the elevator well and fell down four stories in three-tenths of a second. That is fast enough for me; I'm getting too old for much excitement."—Bur dette. A New York heiress had a marriage pro posal from an English duke, but her parents were proud and ambitious and made her marry an American editor.—Norristown Herald. They say up around St. Paul that it is so cold that the air fairly glistens with the bits of frost that till it. We noticed those bright specks, but we thought that they were frozen portions of the speeches made by Governor McGill and Mayor Smith at the time of the laying of the corner stone of the ice palace. —Chicago Times. An ice bridge has formed at Niagara Falls, and American defaulters who want to reach Canada can now slide.—Norristown Herald. The Transcript speaks of the turtle as taking a "leading part at dinners." We thought he generally appeared as a supe.— Boston Bulletin. An effort is being made in New York to abolish hanging, and substitute killing by electricity. There is one thing to be said in favor of the change. The abolition of the gibbet would retire the moss covered phrases "dull thud" and "launched into eternity.''—Norristown Herald. \ Hardened fineni— Omaha Man—I sent you a communication yesterday stating that I had sent a ham to the starving family referred to in your col umns. Editor—Yes. I ordered it printed. "It came out in the paper that I had 'stolen a ham from that starving family and was eorry for it.' " "My gracious! It was a typographical error, of course. 1 si rcerely hope you will believe me. Don't shoot." "I was only reaching for my pocket hand kerchief, sir, to wipe the tears of sympathy from my eyes. I know how you feel about it. I did not mind it. I only called to direct your attention to the blunder so it would be corrected." "You did not mind such a horrible error as that?" "Oh, no. I'm used to such things. I used tobe an editor myself."—Omaha World. Little Newspaper Humbugs. The claim of omniscience and the assump tion of omnipotence are the amusing parts of a newspaper. It is artless and transparent. The omniscience is that of the encyclopedia and the omnipotence is the frown of Jove. It is a stage effect, which is pretty, but which deceives nobody. The roar is well done. But the performer is not mistaken for « lion. He is jdainly seen to be the excellent Mr. Snug, who is professionally engaged in the support of his family. The elaborate proclamations of the newspaper's private business as a matter of public im ]«ortanoe is another aspect of the same comedy. The newspaper soberly announces that after prolonged deliberation it has de cided to widen its columns, and that for many months the most prodigious machinery hits I*en in course of construction to enable it to satisfy the demands of its swiftly increasing lost of advertisers, who will have nothing less than all the conveniences provided by the most modern science. The newspaper is gratified to be able to state that it is now pre pared to smile at all rivalry, to outstrip its esteemed contemporaries at every point, and to enable manki ud to dispeuso with all other journals but itself. This is as simple and childlike as if a great mercantile house should announce that it had just bought a new set of massive account books in Russia leather, and laid new floors of southern pine, and added another story to the warehouse. The buyer, meanwhile, is' interested in the goods, and inspects them, and them only, to decide whether to buy or to look elsewhere. These are the little humbugs of the trade of the newspaper.—Harper's. Voting for School Committee. "Good morning, Mrs. Black. Are you going to vote for school committee today F' "Yes; and I'm awfully glad I met you. Tell mo what kind of a person this Mrs. White is. 1 don't know whether to vote for ber or not." "Oh, she's a splendid woman; so devoted, you know! and they 6ay she knows more about educational matters than all the men on the board put together. There she is uowl" "What ! that woman over there in a blue bonnet trimmed with green? Why, Mrs. Gray, I'm astonished that yon could think of voting for a person who has so little taste."— Boston Transcript. Where We Get Our Weather. Dakota Husband—Well. I must get to the office, my dear; I Lave a busy day before me. Wife— Good by, John, and don't forget your fur overcoat and linen duster. I see the probabilities are for changeable weather.— New York Sun. tine Way of Looking at It. Miss Breezy (of Chicago)—Oh, yes; young Mi. abash is immensely wealthy by in heritance. He was born with a silver spoon in bis mouth, you know. Miss Shawsgarden (of St. Louis)—Was he, inueedi I should imagiue from the way he eats that he was born with a knife in hi» month.—The Epoch. TRICKS OF IMMIGRANTS. THE REVERSE SIDE OF PICTURES Pt NTE9 BY REPORTERS. Characteristics of the Strangers Who Ar rive on Our Shores—The Rustic and the City Bred Immigrant—A Most Cunning and Persistent Beat. The popular belief is that the immigrant coming to New York is a badly used indi vidual, and by the time he works his.way into this land of freedom he has been robbed of everything he has and is cast thirsty and penniless upon the inhospitable shores of an overcrowded nation. To the imagination a tresh emigrant is the embodiment of inno cence, a prey to every sharper and a source of revenue to any one disposed to take ad vantage of him. This as a rule may perhaps be accepted as having some foundation in fact, but there are glittering exceptions and marked divergences, that are sufficiently prominent and sufficiently successful in their efforts to square accounts with the natives, to attract some attention and almost balance the impositions put upon the arriving stran gers. The classes among the immigrants made up of farmers and residents of the rural dis tricts in the old country are of course inter ested and pleased with everything they en counter in this new place; they revel in the questionable food put before them on the tables of the queer boarding houses run for their reception; meat to them is a luxury they may have had but very few opportuni ties of enjoying, and they absorb the steaks and cutlets presented to them in wondering and admiring haste, not questioning their condition or fitness for the human stomach. These people have no comparisons to make, no precedents whereby they may govern their opinions of things. They are ushered suddenly into an entirely new phase of life; their simple existence heretofore affords no means of controlling their ideas in the pres ent. The neglected condition of the streets in the immigrant localities escapes their at tention; their eyes are filled with the large buildings, the great ships, the gorgeous signs; their ears hear nothing but expressions of ad miration from their companions. The dust that blows over them and the mud through which they tramp is noticed, if noticed at all, merely in its practical feature as an adjunct to agriculture and its advantages when spread over the acres some of them tilled on the links of the Rhine, the Rhone, the Thames or elsewhere. The neglected houses and the unswept rooms are familiar sights—it takes them l>ack in mind to the faderiaud, and they feel more or less at home. DiHerent is it wi»«. K*»»* the cities of the old world. They come with inclination to criticise. With them famili arity with the ways of centers of civilization gives them the right to comment, and the ex cessiveness with which they can indulge In this marks them, in their own estimation, as familar with the manners of the world and the pitfalls of its devious paths. These per sons are the oversmart, and their plenitude of confidence often leads them into troubles that the innocence and timidity of the former class prevent. Conspicuous among this number are those who have nibbled at education, who come here with an intelli gence that extends a short distance beyond the ability to read and write, who indulge in diatribes against the nation and its ideas, its principles, its government, its material istic tenets, not in an anarchistic, but in a deprecatory, spirit. The monarchical idea clings to them ; they can no more free them selves from it than could the natives of that small German principality adjoining France, who declared that as their French neighbors bad a republic, they, too, must have a repub lic; but, "we want our prince as ruler of our republic!" they cried. The most objectionable of all immigrants to the boarding bouse keeper is the Berliner, who, hailing from one of the most important cities in the world, and taking advantage of the companionship of strangers, presumably ignorant of his humble social status at home, affects a standing be has no right to, and, like all characters of nc rrow instincts and slavish birth, becomes obnoxiously arbitrary and tyrannical when freed from the absolute servitude in which he has had to serve in or der to earn a subsistence, loudly criticizes the table, boasts of the conspicuous men at whose board he has dined, browbeats the waiters, bullies the house servants and im-. poses upon the landlord. A favorite affecta tion of this class, rather unusual in immi grant boarding houses, is standing their boots or shoes at the room door over night, apparently for the single purpose of having something to find fault about the next morn ing, inasmuch as they remain there un touched and uncleaned. The most persistent and cunning beat is the thoroughbred Polish Jew. Nothing is too small for him to claim, and nothing too insignficant for him to avoid payment for; any excuse is considered legitimate with hi3 kind to warrant a refusal to pay out money for whatever they may have enjoyed the benefit of. Quite an ordinary scheme with them, worked after they have dined and slept at a boarding house for a week, is to declare their positive and unswerving be lief in i ho obligation and intention of this government to support and provide for them for the term of eight days following their first arrival in this country. Nor is it lack of money with these fellows that prompts their rascality. It is an inborn and abnormal tendency to rob, and often, when they are brought to a realization of the necessity of liquidation through the con vincing, though not considerate, argument of a policeman's club, they fall upon their knees, tear their hair and clothes, beat their breasts, call upon their endless category of saints for protection from the ungodly rob bers, declare their intention to kill them selves, their children and their entire gener ation, and indulge in all the fantastic and extravagant oaths peculiar and distinctive of a slavish and hidebound people. It is only after this terrible exhibition of grief, contempt for all mankind and self immola tion upon the altar of their avarice, that they draw from its hiding place in some cor ner of their wretched dress the dirty, greasy, ill scented coin and pay up their score. One of their favorite oaths, usually in dulged after the reckoning has been exacted, is addressed to the hotel keeper, and is em bodied in these gentle terms: "May the horse be damned from whose hoofs the tal low comes that makes the candle burr at your deathbed." When the horse is damned the candle as necessarily damned. It flick ers, anil in the darkness the devil has an op portunity to seize the soul of the cruel land lord, is the mental argument of the indig nant Pole.—A. Curtis Bond in New ' ork Star. THE SHAH'S GREAT WEALTH. Curiosities Found in the Tersian Ruler's Museum—Fearls by the l'eck. What the shah of Persia terms his museum is a curious place. It contains a profusion of costly articles and objects of art such as exist nowhere else at the present day, it be ing the opinion of well informed Europeans who have viewed these treasures that their money value is perhaps twentyfold that of the contents of the so called green vaults at Dresden. It is impossible to give exact figures, for they could only be obtained after a long and minute inspection and valuation by experts; but roughly estimated it is prob able that there is more than $100,000,000 worth of jewelry, precious stones, coined and uncoined gold, costly objets de vertu, fine porcelain and glassware, old weapons and armor, tableware and ornaments of ex quisite Persian and Hindu workmanship, etc. The so called peacock throne (a part of the plunder Nadir Shah carried off from Delhi 150 years ago) is alone valued at many millions, even after a number of the large, rough and uncut jewels have been broken out and stolen. It is an incongruous place, this museum. There you will see vases of agate or gold and lapis lazuli, said to be worth millions, and alongside of them empty perfume bottles of European make, with gaudy labels, that can be had at wholesale for about five cents apiece. You will see priceless mosaics and exquisitely painted cups, and cans and vases which were presented by some European po tentate, and side by side with them you will notice horrible daubs, veritable ten cent chromos, picked up the Lord knows how and where. You will perceive glass cases filled with huge heaps of rubies, diamonds, emer alds, sapphires, turquoises, garnets, topazes, beryls, of all sizes and kinds, cut and uncut, and cheek by jowl with these your eyes will see cheap music boxes, Jew's harps, squeaky band organs. The shah must also be in a condition to "bull" the market on pearls, for hero is, for instance, a big glass case, twenty-four inches long by eighteen inches wide and high, that is more than half filled with beautiful pearls (mostly from the Persian gulf fisheries) of all sizes and degrees of loveliness. In a separate long case the orders and decorations of the shah, coming from nearly every country in the world, are kept on exhibition; but the crown jewels are in a little box that is al ways locked, and for which the shah himself forever, waking or sleeping, carries the keys. The contents of this box and of the several vaults where he keeps his piles and piles of bright, shining, unused money, he never al lows others to view, although the museum may be visited once a year by the European diplomatists and the friends that they vouch for.—Wolf Von Schierbrand in Gasmnwii. tan. A Certain Rich Man. There is a certain rich man possessed of a name known far and wide in the United States, who enjoys a very queer custom an nually at the festive season. During fifty one weeks of every year he is a model of sobriety, propriety and gravity; he is a man of stern style and habit, a family man and a graybeard, and he applies his prodigious energies to the great business out of which his fortune has grown. But each year, dur ing the holiday week from Christmas to New Year's day, his family leave home and join their relatives elsewhere, while he, having invited a half dozen boon companions, locks up himself and party in his mansion, and has a week of high jinks in their company. Wines and viands of all kinds fill the dining room; fiddles and drums decorate the draw ing room, and madness rules the hour to such a degree that th6 expense incurred for the mending of furniture and crockery is almost equal to the other bills of the occasion. On the morning and the day after New Year's he parts from his companions of the week, resumes his business with his usual gravity, and pursues it with uninterrupted energy through the year until the arrival of the next holiday season. When ono of his worn out inmates, after the close of the revels one year, made remonstrance against the abominable practice, he replied: "I have to do it. I am so overburdened with business and responsibility all the year that if I did not let up in a jamboree at its end, I would go mad. I let myself out by shutting myself in at the holidays, and then I stick to busi ness like a galley slave from January to De cember. My wife and family know that I have this weak spot in my head."—New York Sun. __ The Science of Hippophagy. The science of hippophagy is not under stood in this country, where a handsome for tune could be made if people would only consume the many horses which are turned into soap and butter on account of having broken a leg on slippery streets. Americans do not relish the idea of dining on horse flesh, but I, who tried it long before the siege of Paris made the diet compulsory, can attest to the fact that the meat is tender like veal, and far better than 6tringy beef, which is so common in this country. Then, the crop of burros is so large that there is no means of utilizing them. Why not send them to the slaughter house, and get back a nice little carcass so tender, juicy and sweet that you would pronounce the meat better than the choicest spring lamb. I ate asses at Paris, but in Mexico my mouth watered when I saw those fat little donkeys at every station we passed. Not wasting any strength or mus cular energy in frisky antics, they pile on alternate layers of flesh and fat that would please any epicure if he was ignorant of their origin. In Paris there are thirty-six licensed venders of horse meat and asses' flesh. When ever an accident occurs by which a horse is lamed the nearest butcher is called. He kills the prostrate animal, bleeds him, and pre pares the carcass for sale. Parisians have no pred judice on this score, but cm the American continent beef, toughened by Texas northers or Montana blizzards, is preferred.—Vincent Ramirez in Globe-Democrat Truth in a Nutshell. One of Illinois' many editors has a great head. He is a philosopher, for he writes: "Neva- judge by appearances. A shabby coat may contain an editor, while a man wearing a high toned plug hat and sporting a dude cane may be a delinquent subscriber." —New York Sun. Of Course It Was Black. Editor—How's this, young man? You speak of the fair bride as having hair black as the driven snow. Where were you raised/ Reporter—In Pittsburg, sir. Editor—Ah, yes.—Detroit Free Press. An Economist. Hopkins—Why do you wear rubbers, Jop kinsf Jopkins—Economy, my dear boy. There are no soles to my shoes.—New York Sun. A HUNT ON THE PLAINS. HOW SOLDIERS CHASED ELK IN THE NEBRASKAN HILLS. Exciting Moments for Horses as Well as Men—Plan of Attack Upon a Herd—A Big Bunch of Sleepy Elk—A Shower of Snow Balls. Not more than a hundred yards away was a fine grouping of game that would have de lighted the heart of Landseer, and certainly delighted mine. Slowly retreating until the friendly ridge once more covered us, we crawled back through the cactus to rejoin our horses and our impatient comrades. As I mounted I said briefly that our time was at band and the battle not far off. I believe the horses knew this better than the men, for as I came crawling back through the snow every equine ear ib the party followed me as closely as if I had a bushel of oats in my possession; and when I mounted my own little sorrel he was trembling from head to foot, and he laid his nose against my knee as if to gain information in his own peculiar way. Every horse in that platoon knew as well as every man what was ahead of him— and better, too, for all of them had been in those exciting chases more times than two thirds of the party. The only, noises that broke the hush of the still morning were a few hurried whispers and the ominous clicks of the breech locks as the cartridges fell home in their chambers. All the horses' ears were as rigidly set toward the crest, about a hundred yards away, as if they were a charge of fixed bayonets, and the red dilated nos trils, the fixed eyes and the heaving breasts showed that they, too, felt all the excitement of their masters. THE PLAS OF CAMPAIGN. We had arranged our plans the night be fore, and now we hurried to carry them out. Down the hollow of the ravine the hunters, separated from one another by a space of from three to four yards and facing the ridge that hid us from the unsuspecting elk, were stretched like a skirmish line, while I rode out in front of the center of the lino just far enough to be easily seen by all. Looking hurriedly along the little line, 1 saw that all were ready, with the loaded carbines pointing in the air, the butts resting on the right thighs, and a couple of spare cartridges in each man's hand. Raising the butt of my carbine high in the air as a signal for start ing, I took a half dozen steps forward at a prancing walk, brought the carbine down to a level, and the line took up a trot for a dozen yards. Then I raised the carbine muz zle up argl the party broke into a long, f winning gallop. Half wav .across th« rosted slope, tue ca.pmc was raised to full arms length, and we burst over the ridge at a gait that Hanover or Iroquois might envy, and with au unbroken line worthy of the Cent Gardes. The swift impetus carried the sweeping crowd half way from the ridge to the sleepy elk before the latter gained their feet, and by the time the dumfounded brutes had "bunched"—the first act of an affrighted herd—we were right in among them. Many of the older hunters dropped their carbines across their saddle bows, and, draw ing their revolvers, delivered a deadly fire at blinding range. Dashing through this little bewildered herd like a gust of wind, the hunting party swung to the left of the slope of the long ridge where, from 1.50 to 200 yards away, the main herd had "bunched," 000 to 800, if not 1,000, strong. With all the rough rattle of shots, the hard hitting of horns against horns, and the drumlike clatter of the hoofs, there was a singular silence, incongruous with so much rapidly varying excitement, for orders had been given that not a .whisper should be heard till the elk had broken in an organized run in a definite course. As the western wall of elk horns opened in that direction, with a princely buck at the head, thero went up from us a yell that clove the very clouds, and scattered the band only to bunch again. That 6hout delayed them hardly three seconds, but that three seconds made a success of the hunt, and before it ended we were among them, every citizen and soldier now his own indi vidual commander, and responsible for bis own success. A SHOWER OF SNOW BALLS. Far down on my right the marshal's car bine had been knocked from bis hand by the horns of a plunging buck, while near me, on the left, a burly Wurtumberger corporal, with empty, smoking pistol, brought the bar rel down like a club on the head of an elk that was trying in the crush to push its way directly over his horse. The elk fell to the ground stunned. It was hand to hoof and horns for a brief second or two, and then the great surging mass broke to the westward and the long chase began. It bad been all our way so far, but to the assistance of the herd there now came one of the most unex pected allies that even an old hunter could imagine. It was the soft snow, that up to this time had helped us in tracking them; for, as the herd surged ahead, thero came from their feet one of the most persistent showers of snow balls, of iron like con sistency, that any ono was ever called on to face, and was surpassed only by those thrown by the horses themselves, which, strung out in disorder, the men and horses in the rear had to face as well. Every ball that struck a horse delayed him. One man, struck on the bead, was disabled from managing his reins, while another, struck full in the face, had his upper lip split open to the teeth. Many followed his example and withdrew from the battle. The chase over, the party Blowly assembled near the bodies of the first victims, and the two wagons with a number of men putting in an appearance from camp, we retraced our steps to it, each one recount ing his personal adventures. It was growing dark as the sergeant in charge of the wagon party rapped at my tent and reported: "The wagons are in with the carcasse» of nineteen elk, and I am satis fied we have gotten them all, sir." The next day we started for home.—Frederick Schwatka in The Century. Fond of Lons Words. A certain mistrees of a household manages to extract a little merriment along with much misery from her sundry cooks of vari ous nationalities. "Anything wanted today, Katharine?" she asked one morning of the divinity of the kitchen, a tall Nova Scotian, fond of using long words. "Yes, ma'am, if you would please to inves tigate in a new ladle for me to stir the soup with when I set it on the back of the range to simper."—Harper's Bazar. Always egt a boiled egg from the shell It is the Scotch way and the best way. Any other method greatly detracts from the rich flavor of this nutritions food. A COUNTRY SQUIRE'S HOUSE. An Intensely English Ceremonial—Granite Solemnity of "Prayers." There is yet another ceremonial which at most country houses the visitor is expected to attend. That is family prayers. As a student of men and manners it wiL 1 be worth his while, for no institution is so intensely English. At 9 in the morning and about 10 at night the butler announces prayers. The family and visitors then proceed to the hall, where the servants are arranged in a long row. The butler places a Bible and prayer book in front of the squire, and then retires to his seat with the air of a man who has done a difficult duty rather neatly. Then the squire reads a portion of Scripture and a prayer in a loud, sonorous voice, destitute of all expression whatever. Now look for a moment round the assembly. Old Gen. Sile nus, who has drunk perhaps half a bottle too much claret, presents an intensely pious, but withal sleepy, appearance, and tries to cover a hiccough with a grunt Capt. Fitzfulke, of the Dragoon Guards, who has just been convulsing the gentlemen at the dinner table with "broad" stories, looks appallingly proper. The rest are obviously "thinking o' nowt," which the rustic explained was the great delight of church, but everybody is bolt upright and wears a stony primness of aspect. Were a twinkle of amusement, or even of sensibility, to be seen in auy one's counten ance, the vigilant eye of the lady of the house would instantly detect it. The essence of the ceremony, in short, is a kind of gran itic solemnity. I remember once a ludicrous accident occurring at one of these rites, which set the weaker folks off in an irre pressible titter. The lady of the house was so angry that the truth came out in a burst. "It is not," said the worthy dame in her passion, "the insult to the Almighty that I care so much about, as it's being done before a charwoman from the village." A volume by the deepest philosopher could not have conveyed a more profound, meaning. In all other resjjects you have the most per fect and enjoyable freedom at an English country house. You may hunt, fish or shoot, or you may shut yourself up iu your dressing room, where there will be a fire, with a book from the library. But it may be supposed that the visitor to such a house will be a sportsman of some kind.—George Sumner in Outing. A Beginner in Literature. "You were speaking about what a begin ner should do. Where can he get a training in literary work. There aie no schools o'.' literature. What must be do?" asked a re jxirter of Richard Watson Gilder, of The Century. must fialuro/A Lia 1.1 i 11*1 witi* *[» literature and he must practice, practice, practice !" "Where will lie get an opportunity to prac tice? Write an article and submit it to a magazine, and if it is rejected write an other?" "My idea is that ho should begin any where. Give away bis contributions; get used to seeing them in type; get his own crit icisms of them in type and his neighbor's criticisms of them. It may spoil a weakling, but it knocks the conceit out of a sensible man to see his writings in cold type. I ad vise young men and women who are deter mined to be writers to write, write, write— and, if necessary, to give away their writ ings until they finally become valuable. They should not try, however, as some innocently do, to give them away to the first class paying periodicals. It is no in ducement to a magazine editor to be told that he can have a contribution for nothing. I know a young man who couldn't even give away his writings to New York periodicals, so I advised him to try others out of town. He then went to-work writing editorials with out pay for an out of town daily. He soon got rid of his mannerisms, and has become a most valuable salaried writer upon one of the large newspapers, and also one of the best contributors for the best magazines." "Then there is a chance for a man to gradu ate out of every day journalism into the higher field of literature—magazine writ ing?" "It depends entirely upon himself. Noth ing grieves an editor so much as having over looked talent in its beginnings. The bluest moments an editor bas are spent in the recol lection of some mistake in understanding talent at its start."—New York Mail and Exnress Treatment for Drooping Shoulders. This is a serious evil. It compromises both appearance and vitality. A stooping figure Is not only a familiar expression of weakness jr old age, but is, when caused by careless habits, a direct cause of contracted chest and defective breathing. Unless you rid yourself jf this crook while at school you will proba bly go bent to the grave. There is one good way to cure it. Shoulder braces will not help. One needs, not an artificial substitute, but some means to develop the muscles whose duty it is to hold the head and shoulders îrect. I know of but one bull's eye shot. It is to ;arry a weight on the head. A sheepskin or other strong bag filled with twenty to eighty pounds of sand is a good weight. When en gaged in your morning studies, either before or after breakfast, put this bag of sand on the head, hold your head erect, draw your chin close to your neck and walk slowly about the room, coming back, if you please, every minute or two to your book, or carry ing the book as you walk. The muscles, whose duty it is to hold head and shoulders erect, are hit not with scattering shot, but with a rifle ball The bones of the spine and Intervertebral substance will soon accommo date themselves to the new attitude. One year of daily practice with the bag, half an hour morning and evening, will give you a noble carriage without interfering a moment with your studies. It would be very difficult to put into a paragraph more important in structions than thi3. Your respiration, voice and strength of spine, to say nothing of your appearance, will find a new departure in thia cure of drooping shoulders.—Dr. Dio Lewis. Theodore Tilton. Theodore Tilton is living in a remote quarter of Paris in by no means affluent circumstances. His dress is almost shabby and with his hair hanging about his shoul ders he presents a peculiar appearance as he walks about the streets of the French capi tal He does a little literary work now and then, but writes with no regularity.—New York World. Another Name. Mother—'You mustn't refer to the stomach, Bobby; it isn't polite. Bobby—Well, what shall I call it, ma— the tppetite?—The Epoch. TOE GELATINE PROCESS. WHAT IS SAID OF THE SULLIVAN OF PHOTOGRAPHY. The Dry Plates of the Amateur Photog rapher—How Gelatine Knocked Out the Unfortunate Wood Engraver—Basis of the "Proeess Blocns." A few years ago there stepped quietly into the ring the John L. Sullivan of photog raphy. Few were prepared for tbt stir he was soon going to make. His name wa;- Gel atine. He knocked out the Collodion Plate the first round, and then looked around for something else to do. He is at present en gaged in a fight with the Wood Engraver, and no one was more suprised than the old "Woodpecker" at being suddenly called on to defend himself. Many of the pictures you have seen in the magazines—many that are in recently published books and, alas! all that you notice in the columns of the news papers—are due to Mr. Gelatine. Gelatine, combined with certain salts of sugar, was put on glass, and the dried plates so made were good for almost any length of time. In stead of a cumbersome chemist's shop, the traveling photographer took with him a few boxes of dry plates. Gelatine has much to answer for. He it was who introduced to us the amateur photographer, to whom nothing is sacred. If it were not for Gelatine I should not be writing this today. Whatever may be said against the old wet plate pro cess, it ought to be remembered that it was too cumbersome and complex for every Tom, Dick and Harry to work at. This is how Gelatine punished the unfortu nate wood engraver, who was sitting quietly at his bench, never expecting a blow. Gela tine is a tremendous swell. If it is put in water it swells up at an awful rate. Water affects it more than it does John L. Sullivan. Now if gelatine is mixed with certain chemicals and is exposed to the light it will not swell, while if kept in the dark it will swell if it be put in water. Supposing you had a glass plate covered with the chemicalized gelatine. You keep it in the dark. Now, if you take another glass plate of the same size and write your name on it in any opaque ink and then when it dries place this plate of plain glass on the gelatined glass with the writing and the gela tine next each other and let the rays of the sun shine through the plain glass on the other and place the gelatine glass in a tray of water, this is what will happen: The ink not having allowed the gelatine under it to be touched with the rays of light, the gela tine under the tracing will swell and in a short time there is your name in raised letters OTI t.ha ([Alat.ina plat«, rwrcaooJ, uf cvursO, WRITING IN FAC-SIMILE. Now over this you flow some plaster of Paris, and when that is set and lifted off you pour in type metal and there you are. You have a printing block that will give a fac simile of your writing. It i3 in this way that the fac-simile of a letter is produced, only in this case the letter instead of being written on the glass is photographed on it and is, therefore, an exact copy of every hair lina The method I have roughly described is the basis of all "process blocks," as they aro called, and when you see some of them on the pages of the magazines you would think they were the work of the most skillful wood engraver, and the magazine takes care that you don't think anything else, although the cost, as compared even with the roughest woodwork, is a mere trifle. The process I have sketched is easily done and I have made printing blocks myself by that method, but if you want to know how to do it yon will have to get the particulars from some work like that of Dr. Wilson's. It would tako too much space to tell about it here. But gelatine, not satisfied with knocking the un derpinning from the wood engraver, takes a shy at the artist ns weiL The artist, how ever, has not so much to fear as the wood man. Here is what can be done. A photo graph is taken of a building, for instance. A careful boy can go over the lines of the photograph with India ink. The photograph is then put in a certain chemical, and in a short time all that was photographed disap pears and leaves white paper instead. But the lines done in India ink remain. It is a pict ure of the building in black lines on a white ground. This is photographed and the nega tive obtained is placed over the gelatine plate, as the writing was in the former in stance, and thus you get an accurate print ing block without the intervention of the artist.—Luke Sharp's Book Review in De troit Free Press. Saphir'« Wit anil Philosophy. A lady having expressed surprise that Dr. X. should pronounce all his patients, even those who merely had feverish colds, seriously ill, Saphir said: "He is quite right, anybody whom he attends is really in danger." "I won't make way for a fool!" cried an unions scribbler, on meeting Saphir in a narrow passage, where at first neither seemed disposed to give place, "üh! I will with pleasure," replied Saphir, stepping aside and bowing courteously. Standing in a crowded theatre some one leaned on his back, thrusting hLs head over bis shoulder. Saphir drew out his handker chief and wiped the man's nose violently. The latter started back. "Oh, I beg your pardon," said Saphir, "I thought it was mine." Requested to define the word "dentist,' Saphir said: "He is a man who pulls out other people's teeth to get something for his own to bite." An Australian prince, who was also an archbishop, swore horribly at a banquet and, perceiviug that Saphir looked at him in sur prise, angrily asked the cause of his aston ishment. "I thought an archbishop would not allow himself to swear," answered the wit. "I was not swearing as an archbishop, but as a prn.ee," explained the prelate. "Ah," said Saphir thoughtfully, "but sup pose the devil fetches the prince, what will become of the archbishop?"—From the Ger man. In l'ayment for the Paper. How you may get The Herald without money. Bring us: Twenty pounds of pork ; or Ten pounds of pork sausage; or Two bushels of sound Irish potatoes; or Five bushels of sound turnips; or Ten good chickens; or Ten pounds of good lard; or One bushel of good onions. Any person bringing us any of the above in the quantity named will receive the paper until Jan. 1, 1889: for half the quantity we will send it half the time.—Hazel Green /TTv 1 Herald. SULPHUR FOR CONSUMPTIVES. The Experiments of a Yonkers Inventor. Yankee Grandmothers Vindicated. There are a great many interesting charac ters among the inventors who yearly troop down to Washington to see about their patents. One of these men, William Heckert, of Yonkers, talked his hearers into a state of enthusiasm the other day about the medical qualities of sulphur. Mr. Heckert says that in reading the history of Italy and other volcanic regions, he found that periods of freedom from epidemic disease corresponded with periods of volcanic activity. Iu com paring labor statistics he found one trade in which consumption was unknown, that of sulphuric acid making. It occurred to him that the antiseptic properties of the sulphur fumes killed the disease germs in all these cases. His wife was a hopeless consumptive. He began having her inhale continuously the fumes given off by the boiling of ordinary floured sulphur in water. To his delight she began to mend, and in time was completely cured. In other cases, the names and dates of which are too numerous for repetition, he was successful. While Mr. Heckert patents many of his ideas he is quite willing that the consump tive public should have the full benefit of this. The apparatus is simply a glass retort with a spirit lamp beneath and a tube from which the patients may fill his lungs with the sulphur vapors. A solution of common sulphur and water boiling in the retort will produce the necessary vapor. So firmly con vinced of the feasibility of the remedy has its discoverer become, that nothing but his busy life has prevented his urging some wealthy philanthropist to open a small hospital for consumptives, where it may be given a fair public trial Many an old custom, remedy or rule of health had its root as firmly bedded in tho truth as the most new fangled of modern scientific maxims. Probably no one of tho endless generations of little Yankees whose grandmothers have dosed them with molasses and brimstone, was ever convinced that the medicine really did him any good. In fact nothing more than Dickem,' familiar delinea tions of the motherly Mrs. Squeers treating her young charges to this nauseous mess is needed to render sulphur a discredited remedy. Yet if the word of this simple hearted inventor and those of some wha have taken up the study of the question are to be accepted, sulphur is the king of pana ceas.—Washington Cor. New York Tribune. CENTRAL PARK'S CHIMPANZEE. Crov»'ey's Destructive Propensities—Cap ture of a Policeman's White Gloves. Crowley's worst quality is tho irresistible propensity to destroy every objeet he can lay his hands on, including live animal?. A dog or cat he will almost instantly tear to pieces; in fact, the sight of a small animal ? t -ems to put him into a fury. A tiny monkey brought by a lady on her shoulder made him so wild that he acted like a maniac; he threw hand ful after handful of sawdust all over his audience; he shook the bars of bis cage with suggestive violence; he put up his lips like a trumpet and cried "Hool hoo!" at it; he tore around the cage in abransport, and lastly he spit at it. This is one of the bad tricks be has learned from ill bred and teasing boys who visit him, and he has become so expert that he can reach his mark eight feet away. During the above exhibition of temper the unfortunate little creature, a beautiful squir rel monkey, six inches long, was out of its senses with fright, chattered and fairly screamed in terror. This lamentable destructive tendency de mands a strong guard rail before the cage at the length of Mr. Crowley's arm, for he is always ready to thrust out one of those long, sinewy members and snatch at hat, parasol, or anything he can reach; once in his clutches it is lost. A park policeman stood one day talking to him, inside the rail by virtue of his office. Crowley sat on the floor close by the bars, absorbed in contemplation of bis brand new white gloves. Very gently he pulled the tips of the fingers one after tho other, quietly loosening them, till suddenly, like a flash, he snatched it off and bounded to the back of his cage. In vain the hapless policeman commanded and coaxed, begged and threatened. Mr. Crowley, entirely *in moved, sat calmly down to enjoy his prize. First he put it on his hand, using his teeth to help and then held it up for the audience to see, with every finger spread, grinning with delight. But not being able to arrange it to his satisfaction be tore it to strings, and passed a happy fifteen minutes while reduc ing it to its primitive state of thread, holding one part in the bend of the thigh—the monkey's convenient pocket—while he worked on another. On another occasion one of the park men went inside of the rail to speak to the chim panzee. Crowley sat quietly on the floor looking at him and thrusting his hands out to play, as was his custom. "Look out, there 1" warned the keeper. "Oh, Mr. Crowley knows me," was hardly out of his mouth in response before Mr. Crowley fastened his fingers upon the lapels of his coat, one on each side, and gave them such a jerk that the man was dashed violently against the bars, and the coat split down the back like so much papei*.—Olive Thorne Mil ler in Cosmopolitan. Senator Jackson's Bloody Duel. Senator James Jackson of Georgia fought a bloody duel before he came to Washington. He was an Englishman by birth, but he came to Savannah wlien a lad, studied law, was a leading Freemason, and fought gallantly in the Revolutionary war. He killed Lieuten ant Governor Well* in 1ÏS0, in a duel, and was engaged in several other "affairs of honor," until he finally determined to accept a challenge on such terms as would make it bis lari duel. So he prescribed, as the terms, that eaih party, armed with a double bar reled gun loaded with buckshot, and with a hunting knife, should row himself iu a skiff to designated points on opposite sides of the Savannah river. When the city clock struck 12 each party should start and row his skiff to a small island in the middle of the river, which was wooded and covered with underbrush. On arriving at the island each party was to moor his skiff, stand by it for ten minutes, and then go about on the island till the meeting took place. The seconds waited on the mainland nntil after 1 o'clock, when they heard three gun shots and load and angry cries. Then all was still. At daylight, as had been agreed upon, the seconds went to the island and found Jackson lying on the ground, insensible from the loss of blood, end his antagonist ly ing acrosi him, dead. Jackson recovered, but would never relate bis experience on that night, nor was ho ever challenged again. He died in Washington while serving his second term as United States senator, March 19, 1806.—Ben: Perley Poore's Letter.