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Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, March 01, 1888, Image 1

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Volume XX2.
Helena, Montana, Thursday, March
Publishers and Proprietors.
Largest Circulation of any Paper in Montana
Rates of Subscription.
WEEKLY "herald :
One Year, (in advance).............................?3 00
8ix Monthg, (in advance)............................... 1 75
Three Months, (in advance).......................... 1 00
When not paid for in advance the rate will be
Four Dollars per ycaii
Postage, in all cases, Prepaid.
City Subscribers,delivered by carrier Si .00a month
One Year, by mail, (in advance)................. #9 00
Six Months, by mail, (in advance)............... 5 00
Three Months, by mail, (in advance)........... 2 50
Jf not paid in advance, 812 per annum.
[Entered at the Postoffice at Helena as second
elass matter.]
d#"All communications should Vie addressedto
FISK BROS., Publishers,
Helena, Montana.
"Did you ever go tobogganing, Mr.
TTinterwheat?" "No," sai<l the old man,
"but I once stepped into the elevator well
and fell down four stories in three-tenths of
a second. That is fast enough for me; I'm
getting too old for much excitement."—Bur
A New York heiress had a marriage pro
posal from an English duke, but her parents
were proud and ambitious and made her
marry an American editor.—Norristown
They say up around St. Paul that it is so
cold that the air fairly glistens with the bits
of frost that till it. We noticed those bright
specks, but we thought that they were frozen
portions of the speeches made by Governor
McGill and Mayor Smith at the time of the
laying of the corner stone of the ice palace.
—Chicago Times.
An ice bridge has formed at Niagara Falls,
and American defaulters who want to reach
Canada can now slide.—Norristown Herald.
The Transcript speaks of the turtle as
taking a "leading part at dinners." We
thought he generally appeared as a supe.—
Boston Bulletin.
An effort is being made in New York to
abolish hanging, and substitute killing by
electricity. There is one thing to be said in
favor of the change. The abolition of the
gibbet would retire the moss covered
phrases "dull thud" and "launched into
eternity.''—Norristown Herald.
\ Hardened fineni—
Omaha Man—I sent you a communication
yesterday stating that I had sent a ham to
the starving family referred to in your col
Editor—Yes. I ordered it printed.
"It came out in the paper that I had 'stolen
a ham from that starving family and was
eorry for it.' "
"My gracious! It was a typographical
error, of course. 1 si rcerely hope you will
believe me. Don't shoot."
"I was only reaching for my pocket hand
kerchief, sir, to wipe the tears of sympathy
from my eyes. I know how you feel about it.
I did not mind it. I only called to direct
your attention to the blunder so it would be
"You did not mind such a horrible error as
"Oh, no. I'm used to such things. I used
tobe an editor myself."—Omaha World.
Little Newspaper Humbugs.
The claim of omniscience and the assump
tion of omnipotence are the amusing parts of
a newspaper. It is artless and transparent.
The omniscience is that of the encyclopedia
and the omnipotence is the frown of Jove.
It is a stage effect, which is pretty, but
which deceives nobody. The roar is well
done. But the performer is not mistaken for
« lion. He is jdainly seen to be the excellent
Mr. Snug, who is professionally engaged in
the support of his family. The elaborate
proclamations of the newspaper's private
business as a matter of public im
]«ortanoe is another aspect of the same
comedy. The newspaper soberly announces
that after prolonged deliberation it has de
cided to widen its columns, and that for many
months the most prodigious machinery hits
I*en in course of construction to enable it to
satisfy the demands of its swiftly increasing
lost of advertisers, who will have nothing
less than all the conveniences provided by the
most modern science. The newspaper is
gratified to be able to state that it is now pre
pared to smile at all rivalry, to outstrip its
esteemed contemporaries at every point, and
to enable manki ud to dispeuso with all other
journals but itself. This is as simple and
childlike as if a great mercantile house should
announce that it had just bought a new set
of massive account books in Russia leather,
and laid new floors of southern pine, and
added another story to the warehouse. The
buyer, meanwhile, is' interested in the goods,
and inspects them, and them only, to decide
whether to buy or to look elsewhere. These
are the little humbugs of the trade of the
Voting for School Committee.
"Good morning, Mrs. Black. Are you
going to vote for school committee today F'
"Yes; and I'm awfully glad I met you.
Tell mo what kind of a person this Mrs.
White is. 1 don't know whether to vote for
ber or not."
"Oh, she's a splendid woman; so devoted,
you know! and they 6ay she knows more
about educational matters than all the men
on the board put together. There she is
"What ! that woman over there in a blue
bonnet trimmed with green? Why, Mrs.
Gray, I'm astonished that yon could think of
voting for a person who has so little taste."—
Boston Transcript.
Where We Get Our Weather.
Dakota Husband—Well. I must get to the
office, my dear; I Lave a busy day before me.
Wife— Good by, John, and don't forget
your fur overcoat and linen duster. I see the
probabilities are for changeable weather.—
New York Sun.
tine Way of Looking at It.
Miss Breezy (of Chicago)—Oh, yes; young
Mi. abash is immensely wealthy by in
heritance. He was born with a silver spoon
in bis mouth, you know.
Miss Shawsgarden (of St. Louis)—Was he,
inueedi I should imagiue from the way he
eats that he was born with a knife in hi»
month.—The Epoch.
Characteristics of the Strangers Who Ar
rive on Our Shores—The Rustic and the
City Bred Immigrant—A Most Cunning
and Persistent Beat.
The popular belief is that the immigrant
coming to New York is a badly used indi
vidual, and by the time he works his.way
into this land of freedom he has been robbed
of everything he has and is cast thirsty and
penniless upon the inhospitable shores of an
overcrowded nation. To the imagination a
tresh emigrant is the embodiment of inno
cence, a prey to every sharper and a source
of revenue to any one disposed to take ad
vantage of him. This as a rule may perhaps
be accepted as having some foundation in
fact, but there are glittering exceptions and
marked divergences, that are sufficiently
prominent and sufficiently successful in their
efforts to square accounts with the natives,
to attract some attention and almost balance
the impositions put upon the arriving stran
The classes among the immigrants made
up of farmers and residents of the rural dis
tricts in the old country are of course inter
ested and pleased with everything they en
counter in this new place; they revel in the
questionable food put before them on the
tables of the queer boarding houses run for
their reception; meat to them is a luxury
they may have had but very few opportuni
ties of enjoying, and they absorb the steaks
and cutlets presented to them in wondering
and admiring haste, not questioning their
condition or fitness for the human stomach.
These people have no comparisons to make,
no precedents whereby they may govern
their opinions of things. They are ushered
suddenly into an entirely new phase of life;
their simple existence heretofore affords no
means of controlling their ideas in the pres
ent. The neglected condition of the streets
in the immigrant localities escapes their at
tention; their eyes are filled with the large
buildings, the great ships, the gorgeous signs;
their ears hear nothing but expressions of ad
miration from their companions. The dust
that blows over them and the mud through
which they tramp is noticed, if noticed at all,
merely in its practical feature as an adjunct
to agriculture and its advantages when spread
over the acres some of them tilled on the
links of the Rhine, the Rhone, the Thames
or elsewhere. The neglected houses and the
unswept rooms are familiar sights—it takes
them l>ack in mind to the faderiaud, and they
feel more or less at home.
DiHerent is it wi»«. K*»»*
the cities of the old world. They come with
inclination to criticise. With them famili
arity with the ways of centers of civilization
gives them the right to comment, and the ex
cessiveness with which they can indulge In
this marks them, in their own estimation, as
familar with the manners of the world and
the pitfalls of its devious paths. These per
sons are the oversmart, and their plenitude of
confidence often leads them into troubles that
the innocence and timidity of the former
class prevent. Conspicuous among this
number are those who have nibbled at
education, who come here with an intelli
gence that extends a short distance beyond
the ability to read and write, who indulge
in diatribes against the nation and its ideas,
its principles, its government, its material
istic tenets, not in an anarchistic, but in a
deprecatory, spirit. The monarchical idea
clings to them ; they can no more free them
selves from it than could the natives of that
small German principality adjoining France,
who declared that as their French neighbors
bad a republic, they, too, must have a repub
lic; but, "we want our prince as ruler of our
republic!" they cried.
The most objectionable of all immigrants
to the boarding bouse keeper is the Berliner,
who, hailing from one of the most important
cities in the world, and taking advantage of
the companionship of strangers, presumably
ignorant of his humble social status at home,
affects a standing be has no right to, and,
like all characters of nc rrow instincts and
slavish birth, becomes obnoxiously arbitrary
and tyrannical when freed from the absolute
servitude in which he has had to serve in or
der to earn a subsistence, loudly criticizes
the table, boasts of the conspicuous men at
whose board he has dined, browbeats the
waiters, bullies the house servants and im-.
poses upon the landlord. A favorite affecta
tion of this class, rather unusual in immi
grant boarding houses, is standing their
boots or shoes at the room door over night,
apparently for the single purpose of having
something to find fault about the next morn
ing, inasmuch as they remain there un
touched and uncleaned.
The most persistent and cunning beat is
the thoroughbred Polish Jew. Nothing is
too small for him to claim, and nothing too
insignficant for him to avoid payment for;
any excuse is considered legitimate with hi3
kind to warrant a refusal to pay out money
for whatever they may have enjoyed the
benefit of. Quite an ordinary scheme with
them, worked after they have dined and
slept at a boarding house for a week, is to
declare their positive and unswerving be
lief in i ho obligation and intention of this
government to support and provide for
them for the term of eight days following
their first arrival in this country.
Nor is it lack of money with these fellows
that prompts their rascality. It is an inborn
and abnormal tendency to rob, and often,
when they are brought to a realization of
the necessity of liquidation through the con
vincing, though not considerate, argument
of a policeman's club, they fall upon their
knees, tear their hair and clothes, beat their
breasts, call upon their endless category of
saints for protection from the ungodly rob
bers, declare their intention to kill them
selves, their children and their entire gener
ation, and indulge in all the fantastic and
extravagant oaths peculiar and distinctive
of a slavish and hidebound people. It is
only after this terrible exhibition of grief,
contempt for all mankind and self immola
tion upon the altar of their avarice, that
they draw from its hiding place in some cor
ner of their wretched dress the dirty, greasy,
ill scented coin and pay up their score.
One of their favorite oaths, usually in
dulged after the reckoning has been exacted,
is addressed to the hotel keeper, and is em
bodied in these gentle terms: "May the
horse be damned from whose hoofs the tal
low comes that makes the candle burr at
your deathbed." When the horse is damned
the candle as necessarily damned. It flick
ers, anil in the darkness the devil has an op
portunity to seize the soul of the cruel land
lord, is the mental argument of the indig
nant Pole.—A. Curtis Bond in New ' ork
Curiosities Found in the Tersian Ruler's
Museum—Fearls by the l'eck.
What the shah of Persia terms his museum
is a curious place. It contains a profusion of
costly articles and objects of art such as
exist nowhere else at the present day, it be
ing the opinion of well informed Europeans
who have viewed these treasures that their
money value is perhaps twentyfold that of
the contents of the so called green vaults at
Dresden. It is impossible to give exact
figures, for they could only be obtained after
a long and minute inspection and valuation
by experts; but roughly estimated it is prob
able that there is more than $100,000,000
worth of jewelry, precious stones, coined
and uncoined gold, costly objets de vertu,
fine porcelain and glassware, old weapons
and armor, tableware and ornaments of ex
quisite Persian and Hindu workmanship,
etc. The so called peacock throne (a part of
the plunder Nadir Shah carried off from
Delhi 150 years ago) is alone valued at many
millions, even after a number of the large,
rough and uncut jewels have been broken
out and stolen.
It is an incongruous place, this museum.
There you will see vases of agate or gold and
lapis lazuli, said to be worth millions, and
alongside of them empty perfume bottles of
European make, with gaudy labels, that can
be had at wholesale for about five cents
apiece. You will see priceless mosaics and
exquisitely painted cups, and cans and vases
which were presented by some European po
tentate, and side by side with them you will
notice horrible daubs, veritable ten cent
chromos, picked up the Lord knows how and
where. You will perceive glass cases filled
with huge heaps of rubies, diamonds, emer
alds, sapphires, turquoises, garnets, topazes,
beryls, of all sizes and kinds, cut and uncut,
and cheek by jowl with these your eyes will
see cheap music boxes, Jew's harps, squeaky
band organs.
The shah must also be in a condition to
"bull" the market on pearls, for hero is, for
instance, a big glass case, twenty-four inches
long by eighteen inches wide and high, that
is more than half filled with beautiful pearls
(mostly from the Persian gulf fisheries) of all
sizes and degrees of loveliness. In a separate
long case the orders and decorations of the
shah, coming from nearly every country in
the world, are kept on exhibition; but the
crown jewels are in a little box that is al
ways locked, and for which the shah himself
forever, waking or sleeping, carries the keys.
The contents of this box and of the several
vaults where he keeps his piles and piles of
bright, shining, unused money, he never al
lows others to view, although the museum
may be visited once a year by the European
diplomatists and the friends that they vouch
for.—Wolf Von Schierbrand in Gasmnwii.
A Certain Rich Man.
There is a certain rich man possessed of a
name known far and wide in the United
States, who enjoys a very queer custom an
nually at the festive season. During fifty
one weeks of every year he is a model of
sobriety, propriety and gravity; he is a man
of stern style and habit, a family man and a
graybeard, and he applies his prodigious
energies to the great business out of which
his fortune has grown. But each year, dur
ing the holiday week from Christmas to New
Year's day, his family leave home and join
their relatives elsewhere, while he, having
invited a half dozen boon companions, locks
up himself and party in his mansion, and has
a week of high jinks in their company.
Wines and viands of all kinds fill the dining
room; fiddles and drums decorate the draw
ing room, and madness rules the hour to such
a degree that th6 expense incurred for the
mending of furniture and crockery is almost
equal to the other bills of the occasion.
On the morning and the day after New
Year's he parts from his companions of the
week, resumes his business with his usual
gravity, and pursues it with uninterrupted
energy through the year until the arrival of
the next holiday season. When ono of his
worn out inmates, after the close of the revels
one year, made remonstrance against the
abominable practice, he replied: "I have to
do it. I am so overburdened with business
and responsibility all the year that if I did
not let up in a jamboree at its end, I would
go mad. I let myself out by shutting myself
in at the holidays, and then I stick to busi
ness like a galley slave from January to De
cember. My wife and family know that I
have this weak spot in my head."—New York
Sun. __
The Science of Hippophagy.
The science of hippophagy is not under
stood in this country, where a handsome for
tune could be made if people would only
consume the many horses which are turned
into soap and butter on account of having
broken a leg on slippery streets. Americans
do not relish the idea of dining on horse flesh,
but I, who tried it long before the siege of
Paris made the diet compulsory, can attest
to the fact that the meat is tender like veal,
and far better than 6tringy beef, which is so
common in this country. Then, the crop of
burros is so large that there is no means of
utilizing them. Why not send them to the
slaughter house, and get back a nice little
carcass so tender, juicy and sweet that you
would pronounce the meat better than the
choicest spring lamb. I ate asses at Paris,
but in Mexico my mouth watered when I saw
those fat little donkeys at every station we
passed. Not wasting any strength or mus
cular energy in frisky antics, they pile on
alternate layers of flesh and fat that would
please any epicure if he was ignorant of their
origin. In Paris there are thirty-six licensed
venders of horse meat and asses' flesh. When
ever an accident occurs by which a horse is
lamed the nearest butcher is called. He kills
the prostrate animal, bleeds him, and pre
pares the carcass for sale. Parisians have no
pred judice on this score, but cm the American
continent beef, toughened by Texas northers
or Montana blizzards, is preferred.—Vincent
Ramirez in Globe-Democrat
Truth in a Nutshell.
One of Illinois' many editors has a great
head. He is a philosopher, for he writes:
"Neva- judge by appearances. A shabby
coat may contain an editor, while a man
wearing a high toned plug hat and sporting
a dude cane may be a delinquent subscriber."
—New York Sun.
Of Course It Was Black.
Editor—How's this, young man? You
speak of the fair bride as having hair black
as the driven snow. Where were you raised/
Reporter—In Pittsburg, sir.
Editor—Ah, yes.—Detroit Free Press.
An Economist.
Hopkins—Why do you wear rubbers, Jop
Jopkins—Economy, my dear boy. There
are no soles to my shoes.—New York Sun.
Exciting Moments for Horses as Well as
Men—Plan of Attack Upon a Herd—A
Big Bunch of Sleepy Elk—A Shower of
Snow Balls.
Not more than a hundred yards away was
a fine grouping of game that would have de
lighted the heart of Landseer, and certainly
delighted mine. Slowly retreating until the
friendly ridge once more covered us, we
crawled back through the cactus to rejoin
our horses and our impatient comrades. As
I mounted I said briefly that our time was
at band and the battle not far off. I believe
the horses knew this better than the men, for
as I came crawling back through the snow
every equine ear ib the party followed me as
closely as if I had a bushel of oats in my
possession; and when I mounted my own
little sorrel he was trembling from head to
foot, and he laid his nose against my knee as
if to gain information in his own peculiar
way. Every horse in that platoon knew as
well as every man what was ahead of him—
and better, too, for all of them had been in
those exciting chases more times than two
thirds of the party. The only, noises that
broke the hush of the still morning were a
few hurried whispers and the ominous clicks
of the breech locks as the cartridges fell
home in their chambers. All the horses' ears
were as rigidly set toward the crest, about a
hundred yards away, as if they were a charge
of fixed bayonets, and the red dilated nos
trils, the fixed eyes and the heaving breasts
showed that they, too, felt all the excitement
of their masters.
We had arranged our plans the night be
fore, and now we hurried to carry them out.
Down the hollow of the ravine the hunters,
separated from one another by a space of
from three to four yards and facing the
ridge that hid us from the unsuspecting elk,
were stretched like a skirmish line, while I
rode out in front of the center of the lino
just far enough to be easily seen by all.
Looking hurriedly along the little line, 1 saw
that all were ready, with the loaded carbines
pointing in the air, the butts resting on the
right thighs, and a couple of spare cartridges
in each man's hand. Raising the butt of my
carbine high in the air as a signal for start
ing, I took a half dozen steps forward at a
prancing walk, brought the carbine down to
a level, and the line took up a trot for a
dozen yards. Then I raised the carbine muz
zle up argl the party broke into a long,
f winning gallop. Half wav .across th«
rosted slope, tue ca.pmc was raised to full
arms length, and we burst over the ridge at
a gait that Hanover or Iroquois might envy,
and with au unbroken line worthy of the
Cent Gardes. The swift impetus carried the
sweeping crowd half way from the ridge to
the sleepy elk before the latter gained their
feet, and by the time the dumfounded brutes
had "bunched"—the first act of an affrighted
herd—we were right in among them.
Many of the older hunters dropped their
carbines across their saddle bows, and, draw
ing their revolvers, delivered a deadly fire at
blinding range. Dashing through this little
bewildered herd like a gust of wind, the
hunting party swung to the left of the slope
of the long ridge where, from 1.50 to 200
yards away, the main herd had "bunched,"
000 to 800, if not 1,000, strong. With all the
rough rattle of shots, the hard hitting of
horns against horns, and the drumlike clatter
of the hoofs, there was a singular silence,
incongruous with so much rapidly varying
excitement, for orders had been given that
not a .whisper should be heard till the elk
had broken in an organized run in a definite
course. As the western wall of elk horns
opened in that direction, with a princely
buck at the head, thero went up from us a
yell that clove the very clouds, and scattered
the band only to bunch again. That 6hout
delayed them hardly three seconds, but that
three seconds made a success of the hunt,
and before it ended we were among them,
every citizen and soldier now his own indi
vidual commander, and responsible for bis
own success.
Far down on my right the marshal's car
bine had been knocked from bis hand by the
horns of a plunging buck, while near me, on
the left, a burly Wurtumberger corporal,
with empty, smoking pistol, brought the bar
rel down like a club on the head of an elk
that was trying in the crush to push its way
directly over his horse. The elk fell to the
ground stunned. It was hand to hoof and
horns for a brief second or two, and then the
great surging mass broke to the westward
and the long chase began. It bad been all
our way so far, but to the assistance of the
herd there now came one of the most unex
pected allies that even an old hunter could
imagine. It was the soft snow, that up to
this time had helped us in tracking them;
for, as the herd surged ahead, thero came
from their feet one of the most persistent
showers of snow balls, of iron like con
sistency, that any ono was ever called on to
face, and was surpassed only by those thrown
by the horses themselves, which, strung out
in disorder, the men and horses in the rear
had to face as well. Every ball that struck
a horse delayed him. One man, struck on
the bead, was disabled from managing his
reins, while another, struck full in the face,
had his upper lip split open to the teeth.
Many followed his example and withdrew
from the battle. The chase over, the party
Blowly assembled near the bodies of the first
victims, and the two wagons with a number
of men putting in an appearance from camp,
we retraced our steps to it, each one recount
ing his personal adventures.
It was growing dark as the sergeant in
charge of the wagon party rapped at my
tent and reported: "The wagons are in with
the carcasse» of nineteen elk, and I am satis
fied we have gotten them all, sir." The
next day we started for home.—Frederick
Schwatka in The Century.
Fond of Lons Words.
A certain mistrees of a household manages
to extract a little merriment along with
much misery from her sundry cooks of vari
ous nationalities.
"Anything wanted today, Katharine?" she
asked one morning of the divinity of the
kitchen, a tall Nova Scotian, fond of using
long words.
"Yes, ma'am, if you would please to inves
tigate in a new ladle for me to stir the soup
with when I set it on the back of the range
to simper."—Harper's Bazar.
Always egt a boiled egg from the shell It
is the Scotch way and the best way. Any
other method greatly detracts from the rich
flavor of this nutritions food.
An Intensely English Ceremonial—Granite
Solemnity of "Prayers."
There is yet another ceremonial which at
most country houses the visitor is expected
to attend. That is family prayers. As a
student of men and manners it wiL 1 be worth
his while, for no institution is so intensely
English. At 9 in the morning and about 10
at night the butler announces prayers. The
family and visitors then proceed to the hall,
where the servants are arranged in a long
row. The butler places a Bible and prayer
book in front of the squire, and then retires
to his seat with the air of a man who has
done a difficult duty rather neatly. Then
the squire reads a portion of Scripture and a
prayer in a loud, sonorous voice, destitute of
all expression whatever. Now look for a
moment round the assembly. Old Gen. Sile
nus, who has drunk perhaps half a bottle too
much claret, presents an intensely pious, but
withal sleepy, appearance, and tries to cover
a hiccough with a grunt Capt. Fitzfulke,
of the Dragoon Guards, who has just been
convulsing the gentlemen at the dinner table
with "broad" stories, looks appallingly
proper. The rest are obviously "thinking o'
nowt," which the rustic explained was the
great delight of church, but everybody is
bolt upright and wears a stony primness of
Were a twinkle of amusement, or even of
sensibility, to be seen in auy one's counten
ance, the vigilant eye of the lady of the
house would instantly detect it. The essence
of the ceremony, in short, is a kind of gran
itic solemnity. I remember once a ludicrous
accident occurring at one of these rites,
which set the weaker folks off in an irre
pressible titter. The lady of the house was
so angry that the truth came out in a burst.
"It is not," said the worthy dame in her
passion, "the insult to the Almighty that I
care so much about, as it's being done before
a charwoman from the village." A volume
by the deepest philosopher could not have
conveyed a more profound, meaning.
In all other resjjects you have the most per
fect and enjoyable freedom at an English
country house. You may hunt, fish or
shoot, or you may shut yourself up iu your
dressing room, where there will be a fire,
with a book from the library. But it may
be supposed that the visitor to such a house
will be a sportsman of some kind.—George
Sumner in Outing.
A Beginner in Literature.
"You were speaking about what a begin
ner should do. Where can he get a training
in literary work. There aie no schools o'.'
literature. What must be do?" asked a re
jxirter of Richard Watson Gilder, of The
must fialuro/A Lia 1.1 i 11*1 witi* *[»
literature and he must practice, practice,
practice !"
"Where will lie get an opportunity to prac
tice? Write an article and submit it to a
magazine, and if it is rejected write an
"My idea is that ho should begin any
where. Give away bis contributions; get
used to seeing them in type; get his own crit
icisms of them in type and his neighbor's
criticisms of them. It may spoil a weakling,
but it knocks the conceit out of a sensible
man to see his writings in cold type. I ad
vise young men and women who are deter
mined to be writers to write, write, write—
and, if necessary, to give away their writ
ings until they finally become valuable.
They should not try, however, as some
innocently do, to give them away to the
first class paying periodicals. It is no in
ducement to a magazine editor to be told
that he can have a contribution for nothing.
I know a young man who couldn't even give
away his writings to New York periodicals,
so I advised him to try others out of town.
He then went to-work writing editorials with
out pay for an out of town daily. He soon
got rid of his mannerisms, and has become
a most valuable salaried writer upon one of
the large newspapers, and also one of the
best contributors for the best magazines."
"Then there is a chance for a man to gradu
ate out of every day journalism into the
higher field of literature—magazine writ
"It depends entirely upon himself. Noth
ing grieves an editor so much as having over
looked talent in its beginnings. The bluest
moments an editor bas are spent in the recol
lection of some mistake in understanding
talent at its start."—New York Mail and
Treatment for Drooping Shoulders.
This is a serious evil. It compromises both
appearance and vitality. A stooping figure
Is not only a familiar expression of weakness
jr old age, but is, when caused by careless
habits, a direct cause of contracted chest and
defective breathing. Unless you rid yourself
jf this crook while at school you will proba
bly go bent to the grave. There is one good
way to cure it. Shoulder braces will not
help. One needs, not an artificial substitute,
but some means to develop the muscles whose
duty it is to hold the head and shoulders
I know of but one bull's eye shot. It is to
;arry a weight on the head. A sheepskin or
other strong bag filled with twenty to eighty
pounds of sand is a good weight. When en
gaged in your morning studies, either before
or after breakfast, put this bag of sand on
the head, hold your head erect, draw your
chin close to your neck and walk slowly
about the room, coming back, if you please,
every minute or two to your book, or carry
ing the book as you walk. The muscles,
whose duty it is to hold head and shoulders
erect, are hit not with scattering shot, but
with a rifle ball The bones of the spine and
Intervertebral substance will soon accommo
date themselves to the new attitude. One
year of daily practice with the bag, half an
hour morning and evening, will give you a
noble carriage without interfering a moment
with your studies. It would be very difficult
to put into a paragraph more important in
structions than thi3. Your respiration, voice
and strength of spine, to say nothing of your
appearance, will find a new departure in thia
cure of drooping shoulders.—Dr. Dio Lewis.
Theodore Tilton.
Theodore Tilton is living in a remote
quarter of Paris in by no means affluent
circumstances. His dress is almost shabby
and with his hair hanging about his shoul
ders he presents a peculiar appearance as he
walks about the streets of the French capi
tal He does a little literary work now and
then, but writes with no regularity.—New
York World.
Another Name.
Mother—'You mustn't refer to the stomach,
Bobby; it isn't polite.
Bobby—Well, what shall I call it, ma— the
tppetite?—The Epoch.
The Dry Plates of the Amateur Photog
rapher—How Gelatine Knocked Out the
Unfortunate Wood Engraver—Basis of
the "Proeess Blocns."
A few years ago there stepped quietly into
the ring the John L. Sullivan of photog
raphy. Few were prepared for tbt stir he
was soon going to make. His name wa;- Gel
atine. He knocked out the Collodion Plate
the first round, and then looked around for
something else to do. He is at present en
gaged in a fight with the Wood Engraver,
and no one was more suprised than the old
"Woodpecker" at being suddenly called on
to defend himself. Many of the pictures you
have seen in the magazines—many that are
in recently published books and, alas! all
that you notice in the columns of the news
papers—are due to Mr. Gelatine. Gelatine,
combined with certain salts of sugar, was
put on glass, and the dried plates so made
were good for almost any length of time. In
stead of a cumbersome chemist's shop, the
traveling photographer took with him a few
boxes of dry plates. Gelatine has much to
answer for. He it was who introduced to us
the amateur photographer, to whom nothing
is sacred. If it were not for Gelatine I
should not be writing this today. Whatever
may be said against the old wet plate pro
cess, it ought to be remembered that it was
too cumbersome and complex for every Tom,
Dick and Harry to work at.
This is how Gelatine punished the unfortu
nate wood engraver, who was sitting quietly
at his bench, never expecting a blow. Gela
tine is a tremendous swell. If it is put in water
it swells up at an awful rate. Water affects it
more than it does John L. Sullivan. Now if
gelatine is mixed with certain chemicals and
is exposed to the light it will not swell, while
if kept in the dark it will swell if it be put
in water. Supposing you had a glass plate
covered with the chemicalized gelatine. You
keep it in the dark. Now, if you take another
glass plate of the same size and write your
name on it in any opaque ink and then when
it dries place this plate of plain glass on the
gelatined glass with the writing and the gela
tine next each other and let the rays of the
sun shine through the plain glass on the
other and place the gelatine glass in a tray
of water, this is what will happen: The ink
not having allowed the gelatine under it to
be touched with the rays of light, the gela
tine under the tracing will swell and in a
short time there is your name in raised letters
OTI t.ha ([Alat.ina plat«, rwrcaooJ, uf cvursO,
Now over this you flow some plaster of
Paris, and when that is set and lifted off you
pour in type metal and there you are. You
have a printing block that will give a fac
simile of your writing. It i3 in this way
that the fac-simile of a letter is produced,
only in this case the letter instead of being
written on the glass is photographed on it
and is, therefore, an exact copy of every hair
The method I have roughly described is
the basis of all "process blocks," as they aro
called, and when you see some of them on
the pages of the magazines you would think
they were the work of the most skillful wood
engraver, and the magazine takes care that
you don't think anything else, although the
cost, as compared even with the roughest
woodwork, is a mere trifle. The process I
have sketched is easily done and I have made
printing blocks myself by that method, but
if you want to know how to do it yon will
have to get the particulars from some work
like that of Dr. Wilson's. It would tako
too much space to tell about it here. But
gelatine, not satisfied with knocking the un
derpinning from the wood engraver, takes a
shy at the artist ns weiL The artist, how
ever, has not so much to fear as the wood
man. Here is what can be done. A photo
graph is taken of a building, for instance.
A careful boy can go over the lines of the
photograph with India ink. The photograph
is then put in a certain chemical, and in a
short time all that was photographed disap
pears and leaves white paper instead. But the
lines done in India ink remain. It is a pict
ure of the building in black lines on a white
ground. This is photographed and the nega
tive obtained is placed over the gelatine
plate, as the writing was in the former in
stance, and thus you get an accurate print
ing block without the intervention of the
artist.—Luke Sharp's Book Review in De
troit Free Press.
Saphir'« Wit anil Philosophy.
A lady having expressed surprise that Dr.
X. should pronounce all his patients, even
those who merely had feverish colds, seriously
ill, Saphir said: "He is quite right, anybody
whom he attends is really in danger."
"I won't make way for a fool!" cried an
unions scribbler, on meeting Saphir in a
narrow passage, where at first neither seemed
disposed to give place, "üh! I will with
pleasure," replied Saphir, stepping aside and
bowing courteously.
Standing in a crowded theatre some one
leaned on his back, thrusting hLs head over
bis shoulder. Saphir drew out his handker
chief and wiped the man's nose violently.
The latter started back. "Oh, I beg your
pardon," said Saphir, "I thought it was
Requested to define the word "dentist,'
Saphir said: "He is a man who pulls out
other people's teeth to get something for his
own to bite."
An Australian prince, who was also an
archbishop, swore horribly at a banquet and,
perceiviug that Saphir looked at him in sur
prise, angrily asked the cause of his aston
ishment. "I thought an archbishop would
not allow himself to swear," answered the
wit. "I was not swearing as an archbishop,
but as a prn.ee," explained the prelate.
"Ah," said Saphir thoughtfully, "but sup
pose the devil fetches the prince, what will
become of the archbishop?"—From the Ger
In l'ayment for the Paper.
How you may get The Herald without
money. Bring us:
Twenty pounds of pork ; or
Ten pounds of pork sausage; or
Two bushels of sound Irish potatoes; or
Five bushels of sound turnips; or
Ten good chickens; or
Ten pounds of good lard; or
One bushel of good onions.
Any person bringing us any of the above
in the quantity named will receive the paper
until Jan. 1, 1889: for half the quantity we
will send it half the time.—Hazel Green
/TTv 1 Herald.
The Experiments of a Yonkers Inventor.
Yankee Grandmothers Vindicated.
There are a great many interesting charac
ters among the inventors who yearly troop
down to Washington to see about their
patents. One of these men, William Heckert,
of Yonkers, talked his hearers into a state of
enthusiasm the other day about the medical
qualities of sulphur. Mr. Heckert says that
in reading the history of Italy and other
volcanic regions, he found that periods of
freedom from epidemic disease corresponded
with periods of volcanic activity. Iu com
paring labor statistics he found one trade in
which consumption was unknown, that of
sulphuric acid making. It occurred to him
that the antiseptic properties of the sulphur
fumes killed the disease germs in all these
cases. His wife was a hopeless consumptive.
He began having her inhale continuously the
fumes given off by the boiling of ordinary
floured sulphur in water. To his delight she
began to mend, and in time was completely
cured. In other cases, the names and dates
of which are too numerous for repetition, he
was successful.
While Mr. Heckert patents many of his
ideas he is quite willing that the consump
tive public should have the full benefit of
this. The apparatus is simply a glass retort
with a spirit lamp beneath and a tube from
which the patients may fill his lungs with
the sulphur vapors. A solution of common
sulphur and water boiling in the retort will
produce the necessary vapor. So firmly con
vinced of the feasibility of the remedy has its
discoverer become, that nothing but his busy
life has prevented his urging some wealthy
philanthropist to open a small hospital for
consumptives, where it may be given a fair
public trial
Many an old custom, remedy or rule of
health had its root as firmly bedded in tho
truth as the most new fangled of modern
scientific maxims. Probably no one of tho
endless generations of little Yankees whose
grandmothers have dosed them with molasses
and brimstone, was ever convinced that the
medicine really did him any good. In fact
nothing more than Dickem,' familiar delinea
tions of the motherly Mrs. Squeers treating
her young charges to this nauseous mess is
needed to render sulphur a discredited
remedy. Yet if the word of this simple
hearted inventor and those of some wha
have taken up the study of the question are
to be accepted, sulphur is the king of pana
ceas.—Washington Cor. New York Tribune.
Crov»'ey's Destructive Propensities—Cap
ture of a Policeman's White Gloves.
Crowley's worst quality is tho irresistible
propensity to destroy every objeet he can lay
his hands on, including live animal?. A dog
or cat he will almost instantly tear to pieces;
in fact, the sight of a small animal ? t -ems to
put him into a fury. A tiny monkey brought
by a lady on her shoulder made him so wild
that he acted like a maniac; he threw hand
ful after handful of sawdust all over his
audience; he shook the bars of bis cage with
suggestive violence; he put up his lips like a
trumpet and cried "Hool hoo!" at it; he tore
around the cage in abransport, and lastly he
spit at it. This is one of the bad tricks be
has learned from ill bred and teasing boys
who visit him, and he has become so expert
that he can reach his mark eight feet away.
During the above exhibition of temper the
unfortunate little creature, a beautiful squir
rel monkey, six inches long, was out of its
senses with fright, chattered and fairly
screamed in terror.
This lamentable destructive tendency de
mands a strong guard rail before the cage at
the length of Mr. Crowley's arm, for he is
always ready to thrust out one of those long,
sinewy members and snatch at hat, parasol,
or anything he can reach; once in his clutches
it is lost. A park policeman stood one day
talking to him, inside the rail by virtue of
his office. Crowley sat on the floor close by
the bars, absorbed in contemplation of bis
brand new white gloves. Very gently he
pulled the tips of the fingers one after tho
other, quietly loosening them, till suddenly,
like a flash, he snatched it off and bounded
to the back of his cage. In vain the hapless
policeman commanded and coaxed, begged
and threatened. Mr. Crowley, entirely *in
moved, sat calmly down to enjoy his prize.
First he put it on his hand, using his teeth to
help and then held it up for the audience to
see, with every finger spread, grinning with
delight. But not being able to arrange it to
his satisfaction be tore it to strings, and
passed a happy fifteen minutes while reduc
ing it to its primitive state of thread, holding
one part in the bend of the thigh—the
monkey's convenient pocket—while he worked
on another.
On another occasion one of the park men
went inside of the rail to speak to the chim
panzee. Crowley sat quietly on the floor
looking at him and thrusting his hands out
to play, as was his custom.
"Look out, there 1" warned the keeper.
"Oh, Mr. Crowley knows me," was hardly
out of his mouth in response before Mr.
Crowley fastened his fingers upon the lapels
of his coat, one on each side, and gave them
such a jerk that the man was dashed violently
against the bars, and the coat split down the
back like so much papei*.—Olive Thorne Mil
ler in Cosmopolitan.
Senator Jackson's Bloody Duel.
Senator James Jackson of Georgia fought
a bloody duel before he came to Washington.
He was an Englishman by birth, but he came
to Savannah wlien a lad, studied law, was a
leading Freemason, and fought gallantly in
the Revolutionary war. He killed Lieuten
ant Governor Well* in 1ÏS0, in a duel, and
was engaged in several other "affairs of
honor," until he finally determined to accept
a challenge on such terms as would make it
bis lari duel. So he prescribed, as the terms,
that eaih party, armed with a double bar
reled gun loaded with buckshot, and with a
hunting knife, should row himself iu a skiff
to designated points on opposite sides of
the Savannah river. When the city
clock struck 12 each party should start and
row his skiff to a small island in the middle
of the river, which was wooded and covered
with underbrush. On arriving at the island
each party was to moor his skiff, stand by it
for ten minutes, and then go about on the
island till the meeting took place.
The seconds waited on the mainland nntil
after 1 o'clock, when they heard three gun
shots and load and angry cries. Then all
was still. At daylight, as had been agreed
upon, the seconds went to the island and
found Jackson lying on the ground, insensible
from the loss of blood, end his antagonist ly
ing acrosi him, dead. Jackson recovered,
but would never relate bis experience on that
night, nor was ho ever challenged again. He
died in Washington while serving his second
term as United States senator, March 19,
1806.—Ben: Perley Poore's Letter.

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