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Helena, Montana, Thursday, March 29, 1888. No. 18 R. E. FISK D. W. FISK. I. J. FISK Publisher» and Proprietors. Largest Circulation of any Paper in Montana -O Rates of Subscription. WEEKLY °HERALD: On«* V«-»r. (In n«l »»»««•«*) ............................. S3 2° M* Months, (In advance)............................... 1 75 Three Month», (in advance)..........................1 •*> When not paid for in advance the rat« will be Four iHjllar« peryeaii Postage, in all case». Prepain. DAILY HERALD: Pity NtihwrUHTs. delivered by carrier 81.00 a month One Year, by mail, (in advance)................. 8'.» 00 H'» Month» by mail, (in advance)............... 5 00 Three Month», by mail, (in advance)........... 2 50 If not paid in advance, 812 per annum. 'Entered at the Postofflce at Helena a» second «las» matter.) communication» should be addressed to FISK. BKOS., Publishers, Helena, Montana. ONLY A SO,ML It was only a simple ballad, gaig to it carelese throne ; There were none that knew the singer, And few that heeded the song; ■\ ct the »Inger'» voice was tender Ami »weet a» witli love untold; Surely those hearts were hardened That It left so proud and cold. She »sng of the wondrous glory That touches the woods in spring, Of the strange, soul-stirring voices When •'the hills break forth and sing; Of happy birds low warbling The requiem of the day, And the quiet hush of the valleys In the dusk of the gloaming gray. And once In a distant corner— A woman worn with strife— J). ard in that song a message I rouI the spring time of her life. Fair forms raised up before her From the mist of vanished years; She »at in a happy blindness. Her eyes were veiled in tears. Then, when the sotig was ended. And hushed the last sweet tone, The listener rose up softly And went on her way alone. One more to her life of lalxir She passed ; but her heart was strong ; And she praved, ' God bless the singer! And oh, thank God for the song!" "CLEON AND I." (Aeon hath ten thousand acre«. Ne'er a one have I ; Geon dwelleth in a palace. In a cottage I ; Cleon hath a dozen fortunes. Not a penny I ; Yet the poorer of the twain is Cleon, not 1. Cleon, true, possesses acres. Hut the landscape I ; Half the charm to me it yieldetli Money cannot buy ; Cleon burbors sloth and dullness. Freshening vigor I : lie in velvet, I in fustian— Kicher man am 1. Cleon is A slave to grandeur, Fr«*c as thought am I ; Cleon fees a score of doctors, Need of none have I ; Wealth surrounded, care environ'd, Cleon fears to die; Heath may come, he'll lind me ready, Happier man am 1. Cleon sees no charm in nature, Ina daisy I ; Cleon hears no anthems ringing Twlxt the sea and sky ; Nature sings to me forever Kämest listener, 1, State for state, with all attendants— Who would change'.' Not 1. DOES IT PAY ? Pi«*s it pay, little boy, to be fretful and cross. .lust because something seems to go wrong? Isa frown any lighter to wear than a smile? Hoes complaining seem manly and strong? N an angry word uttered with any more ease Than the soft word that turns wrath away" Should you uiHke il a rule to give blow for blow Ho you think, little boy, it would pay ? __ • -s* Ikies it pay, little girl, to l»e sullen and pout. Though your playmate unkindly may tease ? Hoes the angry retort or a tit of the sulks Make you feel any more at your ease? Hoes Jour scolding or fretting bring right out of wrong ? Is a heart ever won in tills way ? Ho your friends love to ses the dark frown on your brow ? Ami it not, little girl, docs it pay ? I Vies it pnv, little lioy, little girl does it pay, To lie rude in your action or speech ? To forget the kind counsels of parents who love And esteem not the lessons they teach" To have selfish regard for your comfort alone ; To he willful in having your way; To respect not the feeling of playmate and friend— Little bov, little girl, does it pay? AN OLD-FASHIONED GIRL. Old fashioned'' Y'c», I must confess The antique pattern of lier dress, The ancient frills and furbelows. The faded riblmns and the bows. Why she should show those shrunken eiutrmi That w rinkled neck, those tawny arm«, I cannot guess ; her russet gown Hound lier spare form hangs loosely down ; Her Voice isthin and cracked : her eye And smile have lost their witchery. By those faint jests, that flagging wit. By each attenuated curl, She surely is. I must admit. An odd" old-fashioned girl. 'Tts long, long since she had a la-au, And now with those who sit «-row Along the wall she takes her place, \\ itli something of the old time grace. She yearns to join the merry waltz. And slyly »mil's lier smelling salts. All, many hii angel in disguise May walk before our human eyes ! YVhere'er the fever-smitten lie In grimy haunts of poverty. Along tiie dark and squalid street, 'Mong drunken jests of l»oor and churl, She goes with swift ami pitying feet — This same old-fashioned girl. 1IAD I'KAYEKS. 1 do not like to hear him pray On bended knee about an hour. For grace to spend aright the day. Who knows his neighbor has no flour. I'd rather see him go to mill And buy the luckless brother bread. And see his children eat their fill And laugh beneath their humble shed. I do not like to hear him pray, "Let blessings on the widow be," Who never seeks lier home, to say. "if want o'ertake you, come to me." I hate the prayer so loud and long That's offered for the orphan's weal. By him who sees him crushed by wrong And only with his lips doth feel. I do not like to hear her pray, With jeweled ear and sllkeu dress, Whose washerwoman toils ull dav. And theu Is asked to work for less. Huch pious shavers I despise ; With folded hands and face demure, They lift to heaven their "angel eyes," And steal the earnings of the poor. 1 do not like such soulcss prayers; If wrong, I hone to be fosgiven, No angel wing them upward !>ears. They're lost a million miles from heaven. THE GRAND ARMY. Extracts from the Valedictory Address of Commander E. C. Waters at the Fourth Annual Encamp ment, Miles City, March 21, 1888. Reports of the Several Staff Officers of the Department for the Past Year In his admirable address before the De partment Encampment, Commander Waters viewed at some length the wars of ancient and modern times in historical succession, and the great warriors who led armies to battle and the causes they fought for. Re ferring then to the War of the Rebellion and the soldiers who saved the Nation, he eloquently said : I arrive now at the Grand Army of which you are the worthy representatives. Your are the representatives of that Grand Army which gave to this land of ours the rightful name of the "Land of the Free " In all the length and breadth thereof there are now none but free men. The Grand Army that you represent has done much lor this generation. They have put down a most unholy rebellion, a rebellion that shook this nation from center to circumfer ence, rocking it to and fro; tottering first to the right, then to the left, so greatly wus it shaken upon it* strong foundation. Those were times that tried men's souls. But this Grand Army went forth in those dark, dark days ; went forth from their country homes, their counting rooms, their families, and loving friends, all at their country's call. They endured hardships which none but those who were there can ever know. I can see them at Gettysburg, at Lookout Mountain, at Fort Donaldson and Vicks burg, in the Wilderness at Stone River, at Chicamauga and Chancellorsville, at l'ittsbnrg Landing and in the Shenan doah. 1 can see them in Atlanta and on the glorious march to the sea. And in all these trying scenes this army was the same subborn, persistent foe. With the same lofty aim, with the same patriotism and loyalty they struggled od, and linally vic tory crowned their efforts and the Union was preserved; the old flag was kept on high, and the chains that bound 4,00U,<HX) slaves were broken forever. While the armies of Greece and Rome, of Germany, of England, France and Russia were great and noble ones, yet the Grand Army that fought from 1861 to 1865 was by far the greatest, grandest. The armies of the Old World fonght some for con quest, Borne to protect a royal crown ; while others fought for self aggrandi/.ement of a single soul ; bat your noble army fought not for self-aggra-idize ment, bat that yon might raise to the light of day the down trodden wretches of humanity and bid them go forth as free and loyal men. That same spirit of loyal ty and manhood prevailed at Appomattox in dealing with your conquered foes; they were not stripped of their all; they were not treated as a vanquished army ; but like brothers of an erring kind. The great struggle of arms t hat you so well re member was at an end, and they went buck to their homes .and harvest fields, their work shops and counting rooms. Many venturesome spirits went to the far West, then an unknown wilderness, and there developed for themselves and fami lies happy and prosperous homes. And during these past and seemingly short twenty-eight years this nation has nearly paid its monstrous debt—paid by the same generation and the same hands that fought to save and destroy it. These are facts. Where in the pages of history do you find a nobler record ? And still this government shrinks from its duty towards its protectors ; turns a deaf ear upon those who saved it from destruction and kept its llag on high. Yes; as they go down in the stream of life, battered and broken beings, that constitution, once so strong and full of vigor, has been shattered from exposure, or nearly consumed by dis ease contracted while fighting for their country. And in their declining years and feeble condition, they are reminded of a nation's love ; of this government's grati tude, as they are introduced to some lonely home in a country poor house. How kind ! how considerate ! But such is the gratitude of selfish man. But thanks to this Grand Army of the Republic of to-day these things are not allowed to be. That army, so noble in war, is greater still in peace ; and those unfortunate comrades are cared for at your expense. That same noble spirit prevails among you and you are doing for those enfeebled comrades that which our government lias neglected to do. Yes; thrice refused, although its treasury is now expanded nearly beyond its capac ity. During the past year there has been expended by the G. A. R. in relieving its needy and destitute comrades and their families $253,934, dispensed among some 24,585 persons; and I will venture to state that there has been fully that amount con tributed by private subscriptions by mem bers of the G. K. A. in and for the re lief of their dependent and infirm com rades, makiDg in round numbers a grand total of over $500,000. Such is the work of the G. A. R. of to-day. Bat while we care for those enfeebled and infirm, let ns not forget the noble dead that gave up their lives for their country. Some died in the midst of bloody battle ; others of ghastly and bleeding wounds in hospital ; while many gave up their lives in South ern prisons, mocked by famine and starva tion, as the breath of life went forth from their feeble and emaciated bodies. Ijet ns pay to them such tributes as are still in our power, and by yearly decorat ing their graves we not only pay them a just and kindly remembrance but inspire in the rising gant ration that spirit ol loy alty and patriotism so necessary to the welfare of all nations. reports. I invite yonr attention to the reports of the officers, which will show in detail the the work of the several departments. I would call yonr attention to the acting quartermaster general's report, 1 will be seen that strict economy has practiced, that onr finances are left in an excellent condition, and although we have made several extra bat necessary ex penditures in the matter of tiwhog. books, stationary, etc., we still have in the acting quartermasters hands ^ i8704 ' < * n increase of $117.84 since our last encamp ment OFFICIAL VISITS. During the past year I have had the pleasure of visiting the following posts and find them all in a nourishing condition : John Buford, Lincoln, Wadsworth. George H. Thomas. Farragut, William English, Frederick W'inthrop, Thomas L. Kane, J. B. McPherson, U. S. Grant, John A. Logan and George G. Meade. The only posts not visited are Custer, Frank Blair and Stead man. Everywhere I have been received in the most cordial manner; and I cannot re frain from taking this opportunity of ex tending to my lieloved comrades my sincere appreciation of the courtesies extended to me, and for the warm, soldierly welcome given me at the several posts. They shall ever be held in grateful remembrance. NEW POSTS. Daring the past year there has been established in this department one new post, (îeorge G. Meade No. 16, and there is every prospect that there will soon be three other posts established. Every effort has been made at Department Headquar ters to stimulate their organization, and I trust soon to see them mustered. TITLES. One subject I earnestly comment to vour attention and consideration, and in so doing will quote trom a letter, a part of Com mander Kountz's report to the National Encampment at Portland, which is appli cable to my case : "I sincerely trust that G. A. R. soldiers everywhere will take position to mold a sentiment among com rades against the lavish misuse of titles. Not only is the writer spoken of by the press as General, but nearly all documents and letters received by him come addressed in the same way, or by some other distinc tion of rank to which he has never attain ed. While no comrade more highly honors the soldiers who have worthily won and worn rauk and title in the army, yet in justice to the rank and file 'he reminds all that his line of duty was in the ranks of the army of his country, wherein he be lieves faithful sei vice is a distinction and honor of which any American citizen may justly feel a glowing pride." Experience has strengthened in my mind the opinion expressed by Commander Kooniz, and I trust the abuse will be abolished. THE SONS OK VETERANS. I am happy to be able to state that there have been established several camps of the Sons of Veterans in this department, all of which are in a prosperous and nourishing condition. FINAL WORDS. In conclusion allow me to extend to the officers of this department my most hum ble and sincere thanks for their hearty support and co-operaiion. They have each and every one of them discharged their respective duties in a manner highly com mendable to themselves and to the depart ment. My fellow comrades, it will always be a source of great pleasure and pride for me, to look back in my declining years to the year when I was your department commander ; the association will ever be among the brightest of life's memories, and may He who doeth all things well keep you in fidelity, charity and loyalty, and may He ever watch over all comrades of the G. A K. A. A. G. REPORT. The report of Assistant Adjutant Gen eral Culver, read to the encampment, shows a Grand Army membership of 519 in the department. There has been mus tered during the year George G. Meade Post, No. 17, December 23, 1887, T. C. Davidson commander. The gains and losses for the year are as follows: Gains, by muster, 102; by transfer, 5; by reinstate ment, 324; total gain, 431. Losses, by death, 12; by honorable discharge, 4; by transfer, 16; by suspension. 412; total loss, 444. This leaves a balance of 506 mem bers in good standing, showing a Joss of 13 members. There are two posts with a total membership of 36 that were necessarily suspended by being delinquent, which will be reinstated the present quarter, as their reports have been received since being reported delinquent, so that we have an actual gain of 23. There has been ex pended in charity, as shown by the quar terly returns $374 38, but if to this sum we could add the actual amount paid out by individual comrades, I have no doubt the amount would quadruple the sum above mentioned. INSPECTOR GENERAL'S REPORT. Inspector General Romeyn during July and August visited and inspected ten posts of the Department. Among other matters submitted by this officer to the encamp ment were these : Owing to the distance many comrades reside from the place of meeting, and the difficulty which exists in most towns of using the same hall for several societies, it was found very difficult to get together a quorum if the visit of the inspector was made on any other date than the regular time of post meeting, and in the same in stances the only inspection which could be made was of books, papers and money accounts. It was found that while all lands had been properly accounted for and in most instances books were neatly and properly kept, there were some posts in which not much attention had been paid to forms, the comrades seeming to be of the opinion that so long as the post was satisfied with expenditures, that was all that was required. Of soldier inmates of alms houses only two were lonnd, with a third cared for in the poet hospital at Fort Custer. Trans portation was obtained for those in Caster county alms house to the Soldiers Home at Milwaukee, CV"is., and one sent, bat the other committed saicide, being insane, the day before his transportation was received; another, discharged from the regular ser vice at Fort Keogh, worn oat with long and hard service, was also provided with a place at the same home. Of sodier's widows or orphans depending upon charity, none were reported as wholly dependent, though several have re ceived aid daring the past year. Careful inquiry disclosed the fact that in what might perhaps be considered the modesty of charity, comrades in many instances gave privately, making no record of the fact or amount, a fact which, while it may get equal or more credit in the hearts of the relieved, does not make possible a fair statement of the amount contributed by the order for charitable purposes. Soldiers' graves unmarked by head stones: A number were so reported and comrades making the report were instruct ed how to proceed in order to proenre them from the Q. M. Gen'l of the army at "Washington. Deaths during the past year: Eight deaths are reported, but the returns are in some cases defective and all may not have been accounted for. The number known is certainly bat a small percentage for the number of comrades in the depart ment. Delayed pensions : Inquiry under this head was made not .with the hope of aiding individual cases, so mach as of accelerat ing in some way the work of the pension bureau as might be deemed necessary at the next meeting of the department or national encampment, but one or two cases were cited, and the reason for delay was fonnd to be want of required evidence. In this connection It might not be out ot place to Bta'e that èlose attention to the column known as "The (Question Squad - ' in the National Tribime since January 1, 1887, has enabled me to furnish informa tion required by over twenty applicants, of those with whom they or their friends had served during the war. Some irregularities were found in the way of conducting meetings. In some cases the countersign was not demanded, the of ficer of the day merely verifying by a glance the membership of those present. In one instance a number of candidates were balloted for in a body. Believing that a oareful and systematic inspection would be of value, it is earn est ly recommended that, if the friends ol the department will admit, at least fifty per cent, be added io the amount appro priated last year and that it possible each poet be inspected by the department in spector, or by a comrade detailed for the purpose from some of the other posts. Whv the .Men Don't Marry. I From the Jersey City Journal.1 The annual discussion of why more men do not marry is going the rounds of the papers. Home of these find the reason in the dress and expensive habits of young women. Bat that is not the conclusion of the New York Press. "The truth is," sa} s the Press, "that this country over, there are not in aDy community, large or small, enough of bright, energetic, honest, straight forward young men to marry the good, home-loving and prudent young women to be found there. So that, if the girls marry at all, about a third or a half of them must be cheated ; not because they wish to be, but because they can't help it. The young men are not worth marrying, so this cheat ing is inevitable." There is doubtless some truth in this, especially in some of the larger cities like New York, but the Press makes too sweep ing a statement when it includes all places great or small, in its statement. There are, doubtless, many places where honest and straightforward yooDg men are about as plenty as good hrbme-loving and prudent young women. Still it is doubtless true that the increasing extravagance and cost of living, and the desire of young conple to begin life where their parents leave off - , effectually frightens many a young man who would be able and only too glad to start a home in a modest way, commen surate with his limited income. In laying the sin of extravagance at the door of the fair sex we do not wish to lie understood as irnp'y ng that the young man of the period is tree trom it. But thecase is perhaps different with him. He knows what his faults are in this line, and feels that he would be willing to fore go some of them for the sake ot a home, provided he could believe that the yoimg lady whom he wishes to make his wife would do the same. But if he does not want to give up a few expensive luxuries or feels that he must support his wife with all the "style" possible, even from the first, then the blame must rest with him. If marriage is really going out of fashion ihe fault is not confined to either sex, and as the blame is divided, so must the responsi bility be. Let there be less extravagance on both sidos and more frankness in re gard to money matters, and ways and means generally, between those who con template matrimony, and we shall hear less of this periodic question, "Why don't the men marry ?" About Kissing. in New York Star.) I have never been an ardent advocate of kissing, but I am sure the people who are must have reduced it to a fine art. Naturally the enjoyment depends large ly on the person who is kissed, and after all there are only two people worth kissing— that is, men people ; one is a boy baby, aDd the other is a man who is devoted to you. Kissing a baby, a nice, sweet, baby, must have been one of Eve's consola tions, while kissing a man who is fend of one is delightful, because he always seems to like it so much. 1 thiuk it is wiser for a woman not to like it, because then she doesn't commit the crime in a spirit of wild impulsiveness, but goes at it with a per fect consciousness that she knows how to do it, and in the very best way. Little women, as a general thing, have the better of it as far as kissing a man is concerned, because they have to reach up ; that generally necessitates patting a hand on each shoulder, and the human repre sentative of a Newfoundland dog is charmed to his soul because the little woman likes him so mach. The woman who has to reach np to a man can always control him. Her size acquits her of her folly, and he is certain to regard her as a dear little thiDg, and never sees her Machiavelian schemes for mining him. If I had daughters I should pat heavy weights on their heads in early childhood to keep them from growing very tall, be cause to the small comes the victory. Look at Celeopatra ; ehe was little. Helen of Troy barely reached to the shoulders of the man who loved her, and hi latter days Catherine of Russia and Marie Stnart were both slender aD(l rather small. The Age of Houses. I Mechanical News.) A brick dwelling with a shingle roof is estimated to last seventy-five years, and depreciates II per cent, per year ; the plas tering therein thirty years, 3j per cent.; painting seven years, 14 per cent.; cornice and base ten years, 14 per cent.; shingles and dtitside blinds 21 per cent.; sheathing fifty years, 2 per cent.; flooring twenty years, 5 per cent; doors, windows, inside blinds, stairs and newels thirty years, 31 per cent.; bnildingware twenty years 5 per cent ; piazzas and porches twenty years 5 per cent.; sills and first floor joists forty years, 21 per cent.; dimension lumber seventy-five years, 1J per cent. He knew that she painted and padded, but be The secret would never betray, But when os a bride at the altar stood she. The old fellow "gave her away." —Exchange. STORIES ABOUT MEN. Oowrmr Joel Farker'a Fnccess ia Crawl ing Out of a Small Hole. An incident which illustrates Governor Parker's readiness in extricating himself from an unexpected dilemma was related by him to the writer some years ago. While bo was a member of the bouse of assembly, in 1848, a question of some local and political importance came up, and the then young and rising statesman decided to oppose it vigor ously. To this end he prepared an elaborate speech, in which he let his patriotic fire burst into ilame. He was so well pleased with his effort that he told a friend what he was going to say. To emphasize one portion of his-speech ho re f erred to an oil portrait of "Washington, w hich hung on the wall at tho right of the sjieaker's desk. When lie got to that portion of his speech, lie exclaimed: "And even the Father of his Country"—Ho raised his hand and lifted his eyes toward where ho supposed the picture was. It had been removed by bis waggish friend. He instantly added, "has been taken uway in fear that be would blush for shame at tho passage of this iniquitous measure."—New York Sun. Forgot Himself. Once w hen Edwin Forrest went to Detroit he produced "Metamora." Sujiei-s were en gaged to personate warrioi-s, and among them-was a bright Irish lad w ho bad a lurid admiration for the great tragedian. At that point in the play where Metaniora asks, "Am I not the great chief of the Fottnwato mies?" the supers are supposed to grunt, "Ugh! Ugh!" The stage manager had care fully drilled them in what they were ex pected to do, but on the night of the per formance our young friend was so trans ported by Forrest's acting as to quite forget that he was impersonating an Indian. When Forrest turned to tho assembled warriors and thundered forth, "Am I not the great chief of tho Pottawatomies?" the Irish boy's en thusiasm broke all restraint. He leaiied into the air with a wild Bbout, and, twirling his tomahawk about his head, replied: "Yees airl yees air!"—Boston Traveler. Our "Tim" Enjoyed Mrs. Whit iiey'» Dinner. Congressman Tim Camplxll is a quaint figure iu the halls of legislation, if there is anything that will mille his temper more than another it is to be balked in his efforts to get an office. Ho has been having some trouble with Pay Director Stevenson lately, and Secretary Whitney has had his hands full keeping Tim within bounds. Nou long ago he hit upon the idea of inviting Campbell to diue with him. He was careful to make Tim tho soie guest of the evening, perhaps not as a distinguished honor, but rather as a precautionary measure. Campliell came and had a good time without making any partie ularly queer remark. When lie got into his overcoat he suddenly turned to Mi s. Whit ney, and in a burst of enthusiasm over his entertainment he said: "There were no dies on that dinner. You can bet your life on that."—Washington Letter. YYIiere It Touched Him. In his youth the late Charles Darwin was passionately moved by music. He often spoke of a peculiar sensation of coldness or shivering in hi3 back on bearing beautiful music, and an old friend quotes a remark malle on the occasion of their bearing a fine anthem. At the end of an exceedingly im pressive part he turned to his friend, asking seriously and with a deep sigh: "How's vour backbone?"—Tho Argonaut On the Force. People who have been clubbed by polie» men naturally seek court plasters.—New Haven News. A Baltimore policeman has for a reccru mendation that he walks in his sleep.— Yonk ers Statesman. Policemen are mysterious creatures, and frequently express themselves in a cro.»s sticks.—New Haven News. It is said that Diogenes could sleep soundly even in a tub, and it is hinted that il. echt man had policemen's blood l imning through bis veins.—Yonkers Statesman. No Equaling Chicago. Omaha Child—Did you see the eclipse tf the moon? I did. You ought to liavu seer, it. It only happens once a year. Chicago Child—Don't you have tl.nn oftener than that in Omaha? "Why, no." "Such a place! Pooh! Why in Chicago the moon gets eclipsed 'most every night."- Omaha World. Higher Education. Mrs. Biggs—Now that your son has re turned from college, do you feel repaid for your outlay for his education ! Did he take any prizes? Mrs. Squiggs—Oh, yes, mum, yes, indeed. Ho got a medal for what ho calls sprinting, and he must be high up in mathematics, for ho says he's learned four new curves.—Scranton Truth. A Talented Girl. He (to Miss Breezy, of Chicago)—Y"our friend, Miss Shawsgarden, of St. Louis, is something of a linguist, is she not, Miss Breezy? Miss Breezy—Yes. Clara speaks French, German and the Missouri languages.—New York Sun. ______ "Bishop" Oberly'» Confidence Restored. "Bishop" Oberly, the civil service commis sioner, is one of the most entertaining talk ers here, and tells 6ome very funny stories. Here is one of them. He says that many years ago, when a young man, he was elected to the assembly in Illinois. He was fright ened when the time came for him to go to the capitol at Springfield, for he was con scious that he was not the possessor of a pol ished education. He feared that he would be paled by the flashing of bright intellects all around him. He took his seat on the first day iu fear and trembling, but in five min utes he was put perfectly at ease, and was even made to think that, perhaps, he might be one of those who would "shine." This was what wrought the great change in his mind: "Mr. Speaker," 6aid one assemblyman, "there are no ink in the inkstands." Young Oberly was amazed. "Well," he thought, "is this the kind of timber they Bend here?" Up rose another assemblyman, since fa mous the country over. "Mr. Speaker," said he, "there are ink, but it are froze in the bottles." That was all young Oberly needed to put him perfectly at ease in the legislature.— New York Tribune. What's tiie Matter with Adam and Eve? The earliest partnership mentioned in the Bible was Jerry Co.—Duluth Paragraphen A MODERN WONDER. A Case of Sunstroke liy Electricity. I Hartford Courant.) A highly interesting and suggestive ac count of what may be called sunstroke by electricity was recently printed in the St James Gazette. At the Creuzot foundry, in France, an electric furnace is used, in which the light equals that of 100,000 candles, and the beat is such that steel melts like butter in a few seconds. Now, people standing about at a distance of a lew yards feel no heat, a thermometer five yards away does not indicate much increase of température. Yet a subtle influence is at work, and a spectator who remains for an hour or two is said to experience "a burning sensation, with more or less pain in the neck, face and forehead, the skin at the same time assuming a coppery ied tint. Later symptoms are head ache and sleeplessness. A fterward the skin gradually peels off iu broad flakes, while the complexion is left of a tine brick color." The symptoms are those of continued exposure to hot, bright sunlight. In extreme cases they are those of sunstroke, though the only apparent agent has been intense light. As to this it must be remembered that the quality of radiant heat is to pass through the air with out appreciably raising its temperature. When it meets a caloric body that body is heated, as illustrated in a room warmed by a glowing tire. The air may not be warmer than fifty degrees, while the furniture is warm to the touch, yet no sense of chilli ness is experienced, because the body and its clothes Lave the property of absorbing the heat thrown out from the fire. In the same way the intense heat of the electric focus may exert its influence at a distance. The value of the observation, if it is cor rectly reported, lies in its suggestion as to the way in which sunstroke of the type indicated is produced. It suggests, lor instance, the whole matter may be a question of the rapidity ot the vibra tions originated by the luminous body, whether those that are known under the name of light, or those slower ones that are described by the word heat. Molecu lar changes in the system due to heat or light, or both, produce in some way not yet definitely explained the affection known as sunstroke. Whatever throws light on the conditions or nature of these changes helps to clear up a very obscure and puz zling subject, specially related to the func tions of the nervous system, and bearing at the same time on the mechanics of ethereal vibrations. Heat, light and chemical effect are all connected and very possibly all in volved in this particular problem. It offers magnificent possibilities for students who have the courage and patience to at tack it. A Case of Law and Soap. (Tidbits.) A Missouri constable rode out to a farm near St. Joe, armed with a subpoena for a woman who was wanted as a witness in a case in court. He found her in her back yard busily engaged in stirring a boiling, bubbling mats in a large black kettle. He stated his business and she said: "I can't go to-day." "But you must." "What's the hurry ?" "Why, the coart is in session, and the case is now on trial. They want you by noon." "Well, I ain't going. You think I'm going off and leave this hull kettle o' soit soap to spile just to please your old court? No, sirree !" "Why, my dear madam, you must. You really don't seem to understand—" "I understand that I've got a big kettle o' splendid soap grease on to bile, and it'll make thiD, sticLy soap if it ain't finished to day. You go back and tell the jedge SO ^ "You'll be fined for--" "Foob ! I d like to see the Missoury jury that'd fine a woman for not leavin' her soap biliu' when P was at a critical pint, as one might say. Tell the jedge I'll come to morrow, if we don't butcher our pcegs then, an' if we do, I'll come some day next week." "But I tell you that won't do. You must come now." "Lookee. young mas, you think I'm a fool ? I reckon you never made any soap, did yon ? If yon had you'd know that—" "What does the judge care about your soap !" "Well, what do Icare about the jedge, if it come3 to that? Law's law, andsaap's soap. Let the jedge 'tend to his law and I'll 'end to my soap The good hook says there's a time for everything, an' this is my time for a bar'l o' soft soap." "Well, madame, if yon want to be fined tor contempt of court, all right. You will be fined sure as—" "Bah ! I know all 'bout the law, an' there ain't anything in it, nor in the con stitution of the United States, nor in the declaration of injependecce, nor in nothin' else, that says a woman's got to leave a kittle o' half-cooked soap, and go off to court when she ain't a mind to. I guess I know a little law myself." Japanese Sacred Nuts. (Pittsburg Dispatch.) A quantity of Japanese sacred nuts, the *ist ever brought to this country, has just been received at a New York fruit store. Tfcey are called sacred from the fact that they are used in certain forms of Japanese worship. The nnts are placed on the altars and ignited. They barn with a bluish flame, and give off a peculiar odor. They are rich in oil, and the fames are supposed to rise as incense to the gods They grow under water, have a leaf like a pond lily, and are shaped like a steers head, with two projecting horns. They retain their qualities ten or fifteen years, and are fit lor food when even twenty years old. Where They Landed. Newspaper Advertiser—Been sending cir culars to people, I see. Business Rival— Um— yes, I sent out a small lot last night. How did yon find it outl "I saw them scattered around the post office floor where people get their letters.— Omaha World. Distanro Leads Enchantment. Bobby—Clara was telling ma that she had a call from you through the telephone yester day, Mr. Featherly. Featherly—Yes; and what did yonr sister ■ay, Bobby? Bobby—She said it was the pleasantest call she ever had from you—The Epoch. The Shooting of tien. Nelson. Mr. Lincoln was much troubled when hs learned that his "sailor dragoon," Gen. Nel son, had lioen shot by Gen. Davis in a hotel at Louisville. Gen. Nelson was over six feet in height, weighed over 250 pounds, and was notoriously strong, while Gen. Davis was a quiet little gentleman, who never troubled any one. Senator Morton, with Gens. Nelson and Davis, were conversing together, when Nel son became excited aud deliberately slapped Davis in the right cheek. Davis and Morton stepped back, and Morton gave Davis a pis tol. Davis advanced toward Nelson, who was leaning against the bar, leveled the pistol aud fired. A t the puff of the revolver Nelson put his hand on his heart, and when the by standers ran up they heard him say: "I'm a dead man. Send for au Episcopal clergy man." His friends carried him into a little room under the stairs. They opened his clothes and found near the heart a little blue mark about the size of a buckshot, and that was all. The wound had closed; no blood was run ning; you would hardly notice that it was a wound. By good luck there was an Episco pal clergyman, a man with whom Nelson was ultimate, in the house. He was sent for and came immediately, and when ho entered the room all others withdrew. In about ten minutes we were told that Nelson was dead. Quite a number came running up at the sound of the shot and among them a police mau, who arrested Davis. Davis went with him quietly, but upon Gen. Buell lieing in formed of it he made a demand upon the mayor for the delivery of Davis to him, which, after a momentary hesitation, was done. No notice was taken of the affair. Everybody felt sorry that Nelson was killed, but they understood that Davis could not do anything else than what he did do. He had been struck, and if he hadn't resented it he would luce been disgraced and compelled to leave the army. He could not resent it any other way.—Beu: Perley Foore in Boston Budget. Limits of Human Senses. The limited nature of tho human senses, whereby we may fail to perceive an all per vading "second universe," has been greatly emphasized by tho progress of science since Isaac Taylor reasoned from it in his "Physi cal Theory of Another Life" half a ceutury ago. Improvement in spectroscopy aud pho tography show that invisible rays extend as far beyond the violet end of the spectrum as the length of the spectrum itself, and indeed must continue until the vibrations "become infinitely rapid and infinitely small." Some of these ultra rays can bo made visible by in terposing a substance that lessens their re frangibility. Professor Stokes, the physicist, found that when a tube filled with a solution of quitiiue sulphate was moved along the spectrum, "on arriving nearly at tho violet extremity a ghostlike gleam of pale blue light shot across the tub; it did not cease until the tube had been moved far beyond tho violet ex tremity of the spectrum visible on the screen." The wave lengths of the spectrum sun rays havo been measured, ani wo per ceive only those that are from about one forty to one sixty thousandth of an inch; to all others we are blind. So of sound; the human ear, practically, hears only those sounds that come from forty to 4,000 vibra tions of the air per second, though the pos sible limit has lieen traced to near 40,000. The microphone reveals a new range of notes, and it is conceivable that this instrument, iu con nection with sympathetic and harmonic vibrations, may bring dora to audibility still higher sources of sound. It is not affirmable that any construction of mortal eye and ear could disclose the supernal; but it is certain that there is very much visible that we dou't know how to discern.—The Forum. Rescue of (lie Shipwrecked. A new plan for tho rescue of shipwTecked sailors, which it is thought is a great im provement on the inventions now employed, has been proposed to Secretary Whitney by Rear Admiral Ammen. It consists of tho construction of what is called a balsa, or a float. The rear admiral suggests the follow ing method of launching them: "Tho head sail should lie hoisted so as to bring tho wind quarterly; oil bags would be thrown over from each quarter. The railing at the stem fitted for unshipping would be let down and tho launching skids put iu place and tho balsa carried aft by eight men and lowered with four on it. Then a rough car to fit in the skids would bo loaded with the helpless persons and lowered to the balsa, be received and placed, and ths operation continued until the boat has her load, then she would bo cast adrift, make a drag of her mast aud sail, throw overboard her oil bag, and the same operation would be repeated until every ono was embarked. Then they should fasten to each other in sections of fives." The balsa consists of two casks, upon which a platform is laid. In the casks are scuttles for stowing provisions. A sufficient number of them to carry a thousand people could, in the opinion of tho rear admiral, be carried on a largo steamer without iucouvenieuce.—Chicago Times.__ Flea for tho Public Schools. Criticise the public schools as wo please, wo are all obliged to own, after investigation, that they offer to every child who eaters them certain advantages which no private wealth can buy. In our cities and largo towns they are. to begin with, as clean as tho decks and cabins of a man of war. Every child who entere them learns, so far as the school rcom influence goes, habits of neat ness, method, decorum and punctuality— points of training hardly to be surpassed In their importance, not only for the mental, but for the moral nature. When I enter such a school room, and come upon fifty little people marching iu procession to or from their seats, obedient to a wave of a finger from the resolute youth or maiden who has them in charge, and when I reflect that all across a continent, from tho Atlantic to the Pacific, this same process is going on, then that modest teacher's work rises into sublimity, an<> seems ono among innumerable shuttles that are together weaving the vast web of a new generation.— "T. W. H." iu Harper's Bazar. Old I July (to a boy in drug store)— I havo pains runnin' up and down my back aud I guess you can give me a bottle of liniment. Boy—Wot kind will you have? "What's the cheapest you have? "I kin give you a good horse liniment for $1 a bottle."—Texas fc*if tings. Wanted Work—For His Wife. Applicant— Flease, ma'am, can you help a poor man who is out of work? Woman—I guess I can find something for you to da Applicant (gratefully)—Thanks. If yon could give me some washing to do I'll take it home to my wife.—The Epoch.