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, • • Volume XX2. Vsu **.'«Jo Helena, Montana, Thursday, April 19, 1888. No. 21 <fl|c ttlccltly Jerald. R. E. FISK D. W. FISK. ». J. FISK Publishers and Proprietors. Largest Circulation of any Paper in Montana -o Rates of Subscription. WEEKLY °HERALD : One Year (in mlvanee).............................83 00 Hli Months, (in advance)............................... J Three Months, (in advance)............................. When not paid for in advance the ra»e will be Four Dollars peryeaii Postage, in all cases. Prepaid. DAILY HERALD: City Sulmcrihers,delivered by carrier $1.00a month One Year, by mail, (in advance)................. £0 00 Six Months, by mail, (in advance)............... S oU Three Months, by mail, (in advance)........... 2 50 If not paid in advance, 812 per annum. [Entered at the Postoffice at Helena as second class matter.] Aa-All communications should be addressedto FISK BROS., Publishers, Helena, Montana. SPRING WINDS. I heard the winds with unseen feet Pass up the long and weary street ; They sang, "We come from hill and glen To touch the brows of toiling men, "That each may know and feel we bring The first faint breathings of the spring, •'To sweeten lane, and street, and square, And lighten all the dusty air. "The hills from which wc come lie bright In something of a richer light. "The long, deep glens and woodlands lie In softer shadows to the eye. "The birds have caught a finer note To throb with joy each feathered throat. "The streamlet echoes sweet and clear The liquid pulsings of the year ; "And everywhere you look is seen I.ife dawning in a tinge of green." Thus sang the winds as up the street They passed with heard, but unseen, feet; And, as they want, a cloud above bent downward tears of spring and love. TIME TO ME. Time to me this truth hath taught Tig a truth that's worth revealing ; More offend from want of thought, Than from any want of feeling. If advice we could convey. There's a time we should convey it ; If we've but a word to say. There's a tone in which to say it. Many a lieauteous flower decays. Though we tend it e'er so much ; Something secret on it preys, Which no human aid can touch. So, in many a lovely breast, I.ies some canker grief concealed ; That if touched, is more oppressed ; Left unto itself—is healed. Oft, unknowingly, the tongue, Touches on a chord so aching. That a word, or accent, wrong. Pains the heart almost to breaking. Many a tear of wounded pride. Many a fault of human blindness, Has been soothed or turned aside, By a quiet voice of kindness. BEFORE THE RAIN. The blackcaps pipe among the reeds. And there'll be rain to follow ; There is a murmur as of wind In every coign and hollow ; The wrens do chatter of their fears While swinging on the barley ears. Come, hurry, while there yet is time. Pull up thy scarlet bonnet. Now, sweetheart, as my love is thine. There is a drop upon it. So trip it ere the storm-hag wierd, Doth pluck the barley by the beard. Lo ! not a whit too soon we're housed ; The storm-witch yells above us; The branches rapping on the panes Seen not in truth to love us. And look where through the clover bush The nimble-footed rain doth rush ! LAMENT OF A MOCKING BIRD. Silence, instead of thy sweet song, my bird, Whicli through the darkness of my winter Warbling 8 of summer sunshine still was heard; Mute is thy song, and vacant is thy place. The spring comes back again, the fields rejoice, < arols of gladness ring from every tree ; But I shall hear thy wild trinmphant voice No more; my summer song has died with thee. What didst thou sing of, oh, my summer bird? The broad, bright, brimming river, whose swift sweep And whirling eddies, by thy home are heard, Bushing, resistless, to the calling deep. What didst thou sing of, thou melodious sprite? Pine forests, with smooth russet carpets i*prea<l. Where e'en at noonday dimly falls the light. Through gloomy blue-green branches over head. What didst thou sing of, oh. thou jubilant soul ? Kver-fresh flowers, and never leaflless trees. Bending great ivory cups to the control Of the toft swaying orange-scented breeze. Whnt didst thou sing of, thou embodied glee ? The wide wild marshes with their clashing reeds. And topaz-tinted channels, where the sea Daily its tides of briny freshness leads. What didst thou sing of, oh, thou winged voice? Dark, bronzed-leaved oaks, with silver mosses crowned. Where thy free kindred live, love and rejoice. With leaves of golden jasmine curtain d round. These did thou sing oC sprite of delight ! From thy own radiant sky, thou quivering spark! These thy sweet southern dreams of warmtn and light. Through the grim. Northern winter drear and dark. One Way. "See here, sir," said a man to a Dakota real estate agent; "you know that lot you sold me for last fällig "Yes." "Well, I find you you've just sold the same lot to an eastern speculator—just saw the records—warranty deed, consideration $500. What do you mean by selling my lot?" "Isn't your lot down under twenty-five feet ©f snow?" "Well, yes, from twenty to twenty-five." k "Well, this lot I've sold to the New Eng land man is on top. When the snow thaws in June you just go ahead and take posses sion of your lot and tell the Boston man that his lot has melted and run into the Gulf of Mexico. Oh, there's more than one way to skin an eastern capitalist besides holding over him in draw pokar 1"—Chicago TribuoA Christmas Cheer. Rich Man (to poor relation)—And now, James, what part of the turkey shall I send you? Poor Relation (the last to be served)—Any §£'* ir ' but the head and feet.—New York THE ORCHID CRAZE. A New Mania That Has Taken Pos session of the East. [Chicago Times.] It is a genuine mania. There were a few cases of it before, but the malady never became alarming till about six years ago, when it began to attract public atten tion in England. Like gout and hay fever, it is most likely to attack persons of large means, high social position, and bine blood. Poor people are never victims of it. A singular peculiarity about it is that it is much more likely to attack men than women. Like hydrophobia, leprosy, and consumption, it is pronounced incurable. That it is contagious is admitted by all who have given attention to the matter. Some wealthy Americans who were in London four or five years ago contracted the disease and bronght it to this country. It is now quite prevalent in New York,and there are a few cases in Boston, and a smaller nnmber in Chicago, St. Lonis, and other Western cities. It has for several years been the custom of hay fever suffer ers to hold an annnal reunion. The vic tims of the orchid mania are following their example. About fifty of them met in New York not long since, and had a very enjoyable time. They bronght with them about 800 varieties of the plant over which they have gone daft. A large proportion of the nobility and gentry of England are victims of the orchid craze. All the members of the Rothschild family, whether living on the the continent or in Great Britain, are or chid fanciers. Baron Shroder, Mr. Cham berlain and Sir John Lubbock have very large collections. Mr. Sanders, of St. Al bans, has four acres covered with glass that are entirely devoted to producing orchids. Mr. Chamberlain's collection cost him $40, 000, but it is valued at more than twice that sum. He has nine glass houses full of orchids, many of which are exceedingly rare. They are all joined together, and are connected with conservatories and hot house, in which other (lowers are raised. All the buildings are lighted by electricity, and are supplied with beautiful birds and tropical insects. Yon can pass from the drawing room of his mansion to a mosaic* floored, plate-glass covered promenade, and walk for several rods amoDg the vegetable marvels of the tropics. The owner is an excellent botanist and a skillful florist, and spends most of his leisure among his plants. The trade in orchids has reached enor mous proportions in England. Larger snms have been paid for orchid roots than were ever given for any specimens of live stock. The most expensive flowers are not always the finest. The price of plants range in the order of their scarcity. Some speci mens that readily brought 100 guineas ten years ago can now be bought for a few shillings. A single root of a newly discov ered variety will command a fabulous sum. Every person who is trying to get a large collection will endeavor to obtain it. Every portion of the tropics is now being searched by orchid-hnnters sent oat by the London importers, who have grown rich in the business of obtaining rare specimens. One dealer has sixteen collectors in varions parts of tropical South America, Africa, Asia and the islands in the Pacific and Indian oceans. Their salaries and ex expenses amount to over $100,000 a year. In their travels and explorations they em ploy many natives. One of our consuls in Venezuela reports that the orchid traade is rendering the country prospérons. A poor man will often obtain more for an orchid root obtained from a swamp or a branch of a tree than he received for hard labor dur ing a dozen years. Collecting orchids is attended by many dangers and great losses of property. Several collectors in the jungles of India have been devoured by tigers, bitten by venomous serpents or drowned in bogs. Qnite a number have been overturned while in canoes, and it is presumed that several have been roasted and eaten by the cannibles of Polynesia. Many valu able specimens are lost on account of lack of facilities for transportation. One Lon don dealer lately received a telegram from Port Said, informing him that 10,000 orchid roots had been killed by exposure to the surf on the Red Sea or by being knocked about during a storm. A collector on one of the Phillipine islsuds got to gether 20,000 specimens, which he spread oat on the beach to dry, bnt an nnnsually high tidal wave swept them all into the sea. Another collector in Peru had all his roots in sacks on the backs of mules, which were confiscated by a party of soldiers, who declared they had immediate need of the animals. The soldiers langhec' about the orchids having any vaine. Some things can be said in favor of the orchid mania. It is harmless. So far from injuring the poor in any country, it benefits them. It furnishes employment for many people. It encourages the study of botany, which is the most neglected of all the natural sciences. What is of more consequence to the world, it is the means of causing many outlandish countries to be explored. Democratic Failure. New York Sun (Dem.) : The six definite enterprises which constitute the whole book of Mr. Cleveland's policy, so far as his administration has had a distinct poli cy, are these : The reform of the civil service on the so-called non-partisan or Mugwump plan. The suspension of silver coinage in order to avert predicted financial panic. The negotiation of an extradition treaty with Great Britai» The settlement of the fishery tronbles by the negotiation of a treaty with Great Britain. The reduction of the surplus by means of an extensive reduction of customs duties, retaining the internal revenue taxes. The Pan-Electric suit to annul the Bell telephone patents. In every one of these six cases the result of the undertaking can be recorded in a 8il The administration's civil service reform policy.—Abandonment. . , .. The administration's demand for the suspension of silver coinage—Relinqmsh administration's extradition treaty. ^The**administration's fisheries negotia ^The^n^istration's surplus redaction Pl The administration 's Pan-Electric snit Disgrace. OREGON REPUBLICANS. Platform Adopted and Selection of Presidential Electors. Portland, Or., April 11.—The Republi can State convention met at Masonic Hall at 11 o'clock this morning. Ex-United States Attorney General George H. Wil liams, of Portland, was elected chairman, and J. L. Sheef, of Douglas county, secre tary. The usual committees were appointed and a permanent organization was effected at 2 p. m. A committee on resolutions, consisting of one member from each county, was ap pointed and a recess taken until 7:30 p. m., awaiting the report of the committee on resolutions. R. Binger Herrmann was renominated for Congress by acclamation. The committee on platform reported at 8:30 p. m. It favors a free ballot and the right to have that ballot counted ; protests against further Chinese immigration ; fa vors liberal pensions ; denounces Cleve land's action in returning the rebel flags ; condemns the land department at Wash ington for refasing to survey lands ready for 8ettlemeut, and for the employment of spies and informers to harrass settlers with the defense of needless suits ; denounces Cleveland's veto of the river and harbor bill, and the Secretary of War for obstruct ing the improvement of the Columbia river; declares civil service reform a sham and a fraud. The tariff planks are as follows : That the policy of Democratic adminis tration, which would place wool and lum ber on the free list, and woolen goods on the highly protected list, cotton, ties and hoop iron on the protected list, and which policy would continue the collecting of $50,000,000 on sugar each year, while at the same iime the majority applauds and claims to carry) ont the President's idea, that a tariff tax is a robbery of the people, constitutes a piece of unparalelled politi cal dishonesty, having for its sole object the success of the Democratic party at the next election, even at the expense of the practical destruction of many of our most important agricultural and manufacturing interests. We favor the policy of provid ing chiefly for the revenues of the general government and for other purposes essen tial to the general government a system of duties levied upon imports so adjusted as to discriminate in favor of domestic in dustries and productions, and in favor of American labor. We declare in favor of reducing the annual revenues of the gov ernment by admitting free of duty such articles of general use as cannot be largely produced or manufactured by our owu people. That we deprecate the attempt of the administration to degrade the honest toilers of Aiûerica to a level with the pauper labor of the Old World. Judge W. P. Lord was nominated for Supreme Judge on the first ballot. Presidential Electors—Wm. Kapas, Port land ; Robert McLean, Lakeville, and C W. Fulton, Astoria. Portland, Oregon, April 12.—The State convention adjourned sine die at 1 o'clock this morning. The following were chosen delegates to the national convention : Z. F. Moody, F. C. Mays, The Dalles ; Rufna Mallory, J. Barnes, Jr., Portland ; J. E. Bean, Pendleton ; J. W. Cusick, Albany. Napkin Rings. I From the Boston Transcript.] Why should a smile wreath the lips of the recipient of a beautiful aud costly nap kin ring ? Rather should the lips be com pressed in dismay. There should be no costly napkin rings. There should be no napkin rings at all. A well appointed table should not toler ate the article in any form. Inevitably it suggests the use of a soiled napkin. A close calculation of the saving of a laundry bill of from three to five cents—a probable flavor or aroma of dishes eaten at a pre vious meal, in some cases of a series of mealr running through a series of days. To individualize clean napkins by rings is entirely superfluous; and, æsthetically, a folded napkin has a chaste beauty that that one rolled in the most beautiful of rings cannot equal. If economy requires the repeated use of soiled napkiu9, a ring, let the ring be unobtrusively plain and in expensive, in conformity to its uses. A soiled napkin in a gold or silver ring is a most offensive association of contradic tory things. All the canning and skill of the metal worker and the engraver have been ex pended to concentrate attention upon what otherwise might escape special notice—the forbidding piece of soiled linen. And in these days of moustaches, how absnrd, how outrageous to assume (say at a boarding house table) that if a napkin must be used more than once, all at table cau alike make them serve for a fixed number of meals. All wearers of moustaches require, in the name of decency, a fresh napkin at every meal. And if a general adoption of the moustache would drive forever from all tables the soiled napkin that result in it self would justify the cultivation of hirsute growth on the upper li^r Bat the daintiest of lips transfer a stain to the napkin, though tea, coffee or chocolate be sipped ever so fastidiously, and there food flavors (as fresh fish) that tenaciously cling to the linen, thongh it has bnt lightly touched the month receiving such food. Who that has lived variously at "fashionable" boarding-booses has not, on a hot summer day, had his light appe tite annihilated by his reversed, soiled, tainted napkin, redolent of the aromas and flavors of meats of preceding days ? And what guest at private tables has not in wardly felt glad that he was a guest, as by virtue of that fact he alone, of all the cir cle, enjoyed the privilege of a fresh nap kin? * It is a truth, fully established, that even napking rings do not invariably prevent a displacement of napkins. The primary error lies in permitting a second use of soiled napkins. All considerations of cleanliness forbid it. Napkin rings alone render the custom practicable. Napkin rings stand, then, clearly and solely, em blems of uncleanlineas. Napkin rings most go. Delicate Surgical Operation. New York, April 13.—An operation of laparotomy was performed on Dr. Cornelias R. Agnew this afternoon by Surgeon Henry B. Sands. The doctor found and removed a quantity of pns from a peritonical abscess. The reenlt of the operation is awaited with much interest. EFFECTS OFPHOSPHORUS. Its Constant Use Leads to the Decay of the Inferior Maxillary. [San Francisco Chronicle, March 28 ] A man aged about 40 years, giving his Dame as John Clayton, applied for admis sion to the city and connty hospital on the 11th inst. Upon examination it was found that he was suffering from necrosis, or death of the inferior maxillary (lower jaw) bone, besides a general breaking down of his nervous, mental and physical powers. The normal contour of his face was de stroyed by the swelling of the tissues sur rounding his jaws, and his mouth was dis tended until his facial appearance was most repulsive. Added to this, his lace was of a peculiar, ashen pallor, different from that seen in most kinds of sickness. All the teeth in the lower jaw, save one, were gone, and the cavities where they had been were filled with pus, while the gums were contracted, exposing here and there portions of the jaw. The odor emanating from the parts affected was unbearable. The man was suffering the mo6t intense pain, to alleviate which he had been tak iug one-half a grain of morphia daily for several days before going to the hospital. It was impossible for him to masticate, and he had been subsisting on liquid food for more than a month. The presence of pus in his mouth was a source of septic infec tion to the patient's blood, and he already showed symptoms of blood poisoning when he entered)the hospital. In stating his case to the attending phy sician, Clayton said that fourteen years ago, while serving as a soldier in the United States army, statioued in this State and Nevada, he was given the posi tion of hospital steward of his regiment. While acting in this capacity he learned something of the nature of drugs and their immediate effect on the system. He saw phosphorus administered to sick soldiers to brace up their nervous system, and it was the knowledge which he gained then of this property of phosphorus that occa sioned his present condition, for while suf fering from what he thought was nervous debility, he began takiDg phosphorous in pill form, and found that it acted as a stimulant, putting new strength and en ergy into his system. He continued the use of the drug for several months without ceasing, and then gave it np for a short time. Then he began to feel the symp toms of the nervous trouble returning, and he again resorted to the use of phospho rus. Whenever he discontinued taking it he felt the need of some nerve tonic, aud beiDg opposed to alctaolic stimulants he wonld always return to phosphorus pills. For years he used the ding unremittingly, carrying his case of pills as constantly as the opinm-eater, until the habit grew on him and he conld not break it off. The amount of phosphorus which he was in the habit of taking daily wonld kill an ordinary man. One one hundredth of a grain of phosphorus consti tutes a regular dose. Physicians usually prescribe this quantity, rarely more, and sometimes less, watching carefully its ef fect. In this case the man took as much as one-tenth of a grain in a day for more than a year. Lately he bad been a verita ble slave to the drug, having no will power or control of his nerves for a moment with out being stimulated by it. All this time he was not aware that the drug had him under its control or that it was injuring him. He reasoned that his nervous system was so consented that it required a con stant stimulant and that phosphorus sup plied that want, and being cheap and easily taken he nsed it as a medicine. Some years ago his teeth began to decay and drop out, and the lower jaw also showed symptoms of crumbling away. He did not attribute these troubles to the phosphorus and it was only when the blood became poisoned from the exudations of his jaw that he resorted to morphia to alleviate his suffering. The only hope the physicians at the hos pital held oat to him was the removal of the jawbone, as it was so far decayed as to be a menace to his life—it was poisoning his entire system. Accordingly he was placed on a strengthening diet, such as could be given him, consisting of beef tea, wine aud iron and the like, to prepare him for the operation. This course was con tiuued until Monday, when the jaw was removed, the operation consisting of an in cision made along the base of the bone from ear to ear, and, the flesh being drown back, the jaw was sawed through in the middle of the chin and the pieces disar ticulated at the joint in front of the ear. The month was then thoroughly cleansed and the flesh on the cheeks drawn to gether and stitched in place. The patient is doing as well as conld be expected, con sidering his shattered constitution and the nature of the operation performed upon him. It is impossible lor him to articu late, and he makes known his wants in writing, using his left hand, the right be ing devoid of four fingers. The pa tient is a man of more than ordinary in telligence, as indicated by his written re quests, which are always expressed in good language. Iu administering stmulants to him, beef tea, wine, milk, brandy and the like are given, bnt so great is his craving for phos phorus that he constantly begs to be al lowed a few pills of it. Frequently hypo dermic injections of morphia mast be given him to qniet his nervous system. The case of Clayton is remarkable from the fact that no instances are recorded in medical science where a man has developed the habit of phosphorus pill-taking, or where such large doses taken daily for so long a time was indulged in. The medical profession has now a new habit of evil to contend against in the phosphorus habit. Its immediate effects are not noticeable ex cept in the vigor which it gives to the nervous system, bnt the continuance of it re sults most disastrously, as shown in the case of Clayton. Prohibition in Kansas. Topeka, Ks., April 11.—The decree in the Siebold & Hsgelin brewery case, in which the United States supreme court recently sustained the constitutionality of the prohibition law of Kansas, was to-day signed by Judge Brewer, of the United States circuit court, except that the de cision of the supreme court did not pro hibit the defendants from manufacturing beer to be sold in other States, which was overruled, and the ü. S. marshal was to day ordered to close np their brewery at Atchison as a nuisance. A VAST COUNTRY. The Growing West as Seen by East ern Eyes. 1 Harper's Magazine. 1 When a Western man goes East he car ries the consciousness of playing a great part in the making of an empire ; his hori zon is large; bat be finds himself sur rounded by an atmosphere of indifference or non-comprehens on of the prodigious ness of his country, of incredulity as to the refinement and luxury of his civilization, and self-assertion in his natural defense. This longitudinal incredulity and swagger is a carious phenomenon. London thinks New York puts on airs, New York com plains of Chicago's want of modesty, Chi cago can see that Kansas City and Omaha are aggressively boastful, and these cities acknowledge the expansive self-apprecia tion of Denver and Helena. Does going West work a radical differ ence in a man's character? Hardly. We are all cut out of the same piece of cloth. The Western man is the Eastern man or the Southern man let loose, with his lead ing-strings cut. But the change of situa tion creates immense diversity in interests and in spirit. One has but to take up any of the great newspapers, say in St. Paul or Minneapolis, to be aware that he is in another world of ideas, of news, of inter ests. The topics that most interest the East he does not find there, nor much of its news. Persons of whom he reads daily in the East drop out of sight and other persons, magnates in politics, packing, and railways loom np. It takes columns to tell the daily history of places which have heretofore only canght the attention of the Eastern reader for freaks of the ther mometer, and he has an opportunity to read daily pages about Dakota, concerning which a weekly paragraph has formerly satisfied his curiosity. Before he can be absorbed in these lively and intelligent newspapers he mnst change the whole cur rent of his thoughts and take np othersub jects, persons and places than those that have occupied his mind. He is in a new world. One of the most striking facts in the West is State pride, attachment to the State, the profound belief of every citizen that his State is the best. Engendered perhaps at first by a permanent investment and the spur of self-interest, it speedily becomes a passion, as strong in the newest State as it is in any of tbe original thir teen. Rivalry between cities is sharp, and civic pride is excessive, but both are out done by the larger devotion to the com monwealth. And this pride is developed in the inhabitants of a Territory as soon as it is organized. Montana has condensed the ordinary achievements of a century into twenty years, and loyalty to its pres ent and expectation of itB future are as strong in its citizens as is the attachment of men of Massachusetts to the State of nearly three centuries of growth. ROYAL INCOMES. What Some European Sovereigns Get for Their Valuable Services. In an interesting article on "The Empe ror's Income," published in the Ausburger Abendzeitung , Herr Karl Hermann gives some detail respecting the revenue of other sovereigns and presidents. It will surprise a great many to learn that as German Em peror, William I. had no income at all. True the Reichstag voted for the Emperor a sum of 2,600,000 marks ($130,000) iu the budget for 1887-88. But this is not a source income for the Emperor at all, but merely served as a fond at his disposition for granting pensions and gratuities. Con sequently the imperial dignity in Germany is an unpaid honorary office. What income the German emperor does not derive he receives as King of Prussia. As such, his revenue amounted for 1887-88, altogether, to 12, 219,296 marks (£610,955) of which 7,779, 296 marks were taken from the income derived from public lands and forests, and the remainder (4,500,000 marks) voted by the Prussian Chambers. Out of this 12,250,000 marks (which comes to 33,477 marks, £1,678 a day), the King of Prussia has to allow their income to the princes of the royal house. The expenditure for the imperial house of Russia amounted, accord ing to the published balance sheet tor 1884, to no less than 10,560,000 rabies (the rubie at 2s. makes £1,056,000) in that year, or nearly 300,000 rubies (£3,000) a day. In Austria-Hungary the countries repre sented in the Reichbarth granted a civil list of 4,650,0006, and Hungary contributes the same amount, making together 9, 300,000fl, (£300,000) a year, or about (26, OOOfl) £2,600 a day. The civil list of the Queen of England is £409,000 a year, or only about £1,120 a day. But then sepa rate incomes are annually voted by par liament to the princes and princesses of the royal house. Italy is also somewhat more liberal than Germany in providing for the reigning family. A sum of 15,150,000 livre (£616,000) is annually voted for the civil list and appendages. This amounts to about 42,000 livre (£1,680 a day. The civil list of the kings of Spain is 9,350, 000 pesetas (£374,000). Japan also has a considerable civil list It is 3,240,000 yeks (£482,000). France pays her president in salary and expenses of representation the snm of l,200,000f. a year. The President of the United States receives a modest in come of 150,000 (£10,000). Bills Passed by the Senate. Washington, April 11.—The following bills were taken from the calendar and passed : House bill, to purchase of the widow of the late Gen. James Shields certain swords at a cost of not exceeding $10,000. For the erection of a monument to the memory of Gen. Joseph Warren, who fell at Banker HilL Authorizing the construction of railroad bridges across the Snake and Clearwater rivers by the Oregon Railway & Naviga tion Company. Appropriating $10,000 for a monument to Bri gadi er General Wm. Lee Davidson, who fell in the battle of Cowans Ford in February, 1781. The bill for the purchase from Miss Vir ginia Taylor Lewis of a sword of Wash ington for $20,000, was taken np and read. There was a long debate, but the matter went over without action and the Senate adjourned. AT THE CLOVER CLUB. 't? M < Bill Nye Makes a Speech, but Says Noth ing He Regrets. T IS now an his torical fact, estab lished by means of research, acrostics I and cryptograms, that when Demos thenes went on to the beach and prac ticed for weeks with his mouth full of pebbles, striving to outbellow the billows and ]>a tiently clinging to tbe thread of his discourse, even while the loud boom of the breakers caught up his shrill re marks and hurled them into sj>ace, he was not preparing to make an impression upon the history of his time, as we have been taught. He was simply rehearsing a speech which he hoped to deliver at the Clover club, of Phila delphia. People who have formed the idea that Philadelphia is not given to sociability and a cheerful interchange of thought are unfa miliar with the methods of the Clover club, especially under the administration of Moses Purnell Handy. For the information of those who may read this piece, yet have not had the pleasure of addressing this successful organization, let me say that it is a custom of the club to in vite eminent statesmen, poets, judges, hu morists and other freaks to come to its annual dinners and make speeches. The club assists in the delivery of these speeches, adding thoughts of its own as the orator pro ceeds, aud also making inquiries regarding the personal characteristics of the speaker, which are calculated to divert his attention from what he was about to say. The only way to speak successfully at a Clover club dinner, I believe, is to avoid say ing what you were about to say. I had the pleasure of holding a conversa zione with the Clover club on the occasion of its sixth annual meeting. I had been led to believe that the air of refinement which people notice about me wherever I go would entitle me to the respect and kind considera tion of the club. Even should that fail, how ever, I thought that no one could help admir ing my unwavering confidence in myself, a confidence which is all the more heroic and praiseworthy on my part, because it has not been shared by the general public. It is no great honor to indorse a popular man, but it is certainly meritorious in any one to show confidence in one who needs it very much. But the Clover club is not constructed with a view to the building up and fostering of rhetorical industries. It is built upon the moral theory that aman who speaks publicly does so for the edification of the audience. T his is a quaint and extremely eccentric idea. Generally it is otherwise. Public speakers arise and enjoy themselves, while the audi ence, though largely in the majority, has to suffer. Jf the members of the Clover club do not like the tendencies of a speech, they sug gest to the speaker some other line of thought. They do noc do so offensively. They approach him in a courteous way, so as to avoid giving him pain Perhaps they sing eleven or twelve verses in reference to the Derby Ram, a table delicacy of which the club is passionately fond, or in some other adroit way they intimate to him that the pleasure of the audience should be consulted before that of the speaker. I did not know that. I had always before selfishly reveled in the wonderful cadence of my own melodious Skowhegan voice, for getting that the audience had rights. I enjoyed it very much, for I was down at the foot of the table having fun with Dr. Bedloe, and I knew that at this rate, with a hundred guests to be gently scared half to death in that way, I would not lie reached before Friday, and I thought that I could get away before that time. It was at this supreme moment, when saturated with a soothing sense of security and congratulating myself on the wonderful way in which Mr. Maltby's dress suit fitted me, that the president of the club, observing that I had my mouth full of ice which I did not know what to do with, introduced me to the brilliant assemblage. I felt embarrassed and was about to say so, I believe, when ex-Governor Bunn, who was appointed and received the portfolio as gover nor of Idaho solely by reason of his great powers as a conversationist, said something to me which did not bear upon what I was about to say myself. While I was thinking of a bon mot which would wipe Governor Bimn from the face of the earth, such as a reference to him as Bunny, and a request that I might be per mitted to lay my head in his lap and have a good cry, or something like that, Mr. Jerome, a gentleman from New York, who is 69 years of age, said something which was highly enjoyable, but which, after CoL Thomas P. Ochiltree, Col. McCaull and CoL McClure join in the same time, seemed to open up an entirely new line of thought from what I had intended to follow. I was about to administer a tart rebuke to Mr. Jerome, when I happened to remember his greater age and resolved not to do so. My attention was also at this time attracted by the sounds of music. It was a Tyrolean air, and referred to the Derby Ram, which seems to have a wild fascination for the gen tlemen of the club, and when such voices as those of Wayne MacVeagh, Gen. Horace Porter refrain it is well worth going to Phil adelphia and sitting up till long after 9 o'clock to hear. So I decided not to speak while these well known vocalists were engaged in song. As they were encored, they obliged by singing "Maryland, my Maryland," with improvisar tions by tbe great impresario, Mr. Jerome. I then stood on the other leg awhile and tried to recall what I had said, which had reminded the auditors of these songs, but I could not. In all my remarks so far, al though I had been on my feet twenty minutes or so, I had carefully avoided saying any thing that would call forth an attack of this kind. I had used no language which would naturally provoke such men as CoL Taylor or CoL McClure to song. I was on my feet about twenty minutes, but during that tim© I can say truthfully that. I said nothing which I now regret. People afterward spoke of my impressive manner and said I also used rare discretion in avoiding so many unpleasant features which are apt to stir up ill feeling at such a tune. They named whole columns of things which I had thus evaded, and every one said that if I had erred at all it was in the direction of conservatism. All the members of the club who expressed any opinion about it said that they were in favor of printing my remarks with a rubber stamp. There can be no more comfortable sensa I fancy, than to be a guest at one of these annual dinners, with the personal recog nizance of the president in your pocket Lind ing himself not to call upon you for a speech and certifying that you have previously had a fair and impartial trial on the charge that veu were a good after dinner speaker and that vou have proved an alibi.—Bill Nye in New York World. The Young People. Bertie—Pa, I hope grandma will die before I do, don't you ? Pa—What on earth ever put such ideas into your head I Bertie—Oh, I have often noticed that I can stand trouble better than she can.—Judge. A small boy of our acquaintance admires his clergyman. He says: "I would like to be a minister, if I could be a nice minister like him. If I can't be that, I should like to be a street car conductor."—Detroit Churchman. Minister—Well, Bobby, do you think you will be a better boy this year than you were last? Bobby (hopefully)—I think so, sir; I began taking cod liver oil last week.—The Epoch. "Mamma," asked a little 5-year-old miss of this city, "won't you have my new dress made with a vestibule train?"—Philadelphia CalL Conversation between a traveler and a lad of 6 or 7. "Your grandfather there seems very old. Do you know what his age is?" "No, sir, I couldn't exactly say, sir; but I'm sure he can't be very young. He's always been about the house as long as I can remem ber."—Judge. There are two little brothers in Connecti cut aged 5 and 6 years. One day Mamma H. gave 5-year-old Joe a banana and told him to give half to Ned. Joe looked doubtful a minute and then said; "Give it to Ned." "Why?" asked mamma. "Because," was the answer, "if 1 break it I'll have to give Ned the bigger half, and I want that myself."— New York Tribune. A little boy while playing fell down the steps and hurt himself severely. His mother scolded him for his carelessness, and he sobbed out: "Mamma, please don't scold mo till I get done hurting."—Baptist Weekly. Among other extraordinary anatomies dis covered by my hopeful of 4}j is one which he named in telling me of the sad chastisement inflicted on a disobedient doll: "Papa, Dittie was so naughty today that I had to 'pank her on the back of her tommicl"—Babyhood. A little Buffalo girl was not feeling well, and her parents suggested that she might be about to have chicken pox, then prevalent. She vent to bed laughing at the idea, but early next morning went into her parents' room, looking very serious, and said: "Yes, it is chicken pox, papa. I found a fedder in the bed."—Christian Leader. She declined for two or three nights to say her prayers. One night her papa covered his face with his hands, and said: "It makes papa feel sick to think Margaret won't say her prayOrs." "Papa feel sick?" "Yes, dear." "Papa better take casser (castor) oiL" The subject of prayer was ao longer discussed that night.—Babyhood. un me zievniea :n A Third avenue train, bound for city hall, reached Fifty-ninth street at 10 o'clock, e£d was crowded. A man who had kept his eye on the first car managed to squeeze himself in there. In one of the cross seats were two young women, and opposite them were a bundle and a young man. The young women were engrossed in each other's conversation, which seemed to consist almost entirely of "Says be to me," "Then, says I to him," "He wrote me, so he did," and so on. The man approached and said, somewhat gruffly, "I want to sit down." The young man, who was sitting upon the outer end, closed in his legs to let him pass. "I want to sit down there," he said, with an emphasis on "there" as ho pointed where the bundle rested. He spoke more gruffly this time, and in a louder tono. The young man smiled and continued read ing. "Well," roared the now thoroughly in furiated man, "I paid for my .'eat and I'll seo you to the deuce before you can keep two scats for one fare." Then he took the bundle and pitched it upon the floor. The young man again smiled, while the young women suddenly ceased their "Said I to him" and "Says he to me." One of them reached for the bundle, which was hers, and said to the man, loudly enough for everybody to hear: "You dirty, naughty, mean man." The man was overwhelmed with confusion and was apologizing to all three, when a fellow passenger who had been sitting with his back to him stood up and cursed him. "Do you want to gaze at the stars?" said he, "or probably you have a rush of blood to the head. Anyhow, lean off. Give my back a show." There had been no triangular piece of wood to keep their backs apart. The man forgot his apology, and turned around to confront his new antagonist. Fragments of the two would soon have been strewn about had not the other passengers interfered. Then tho blunderer rushed to the door as the train slowed up. "No," replied the guard, shaking his head; "this is Forty-seventh." Before the blunderer could resume his seat tho train started and he was flung to the floor, crushing his hat and hurting his lip as he fell. As the train reached Twenty-third street there was a great rush. The blunderer was leaning on his cane. When the train again started the blunderer wasn't leaning on his cane, but he was leisurely examining the two halves of it. Moral: Look before you leap.— Now York Tribune. __ Descendants of the Dirt Haters. There is a race of negroes in the United States that must be defendants of the iirt eating tribe of Africans known to exist in the interior of the dark «ontinent, for I had a cook who came from tlie back hill country of Louisiana, which, by the way, is very Jittle known by outsiders, who was a (lilt eater. She said one day that she was going Imck to the hills, as the black dirt at New Orleans was not good, and she pined for some of tho kind she had always been used to euting, and she went back. I was told that iu certain joil where these people live there was a strong alkali taste which they fancied very much. Eating dirt becomes a habit with them, and when they wander away they still keep up the desire until they get tired of the mud that is unlike the home article. I have heard of white men w Co eat dirt, but this negress is the only genuine dirt eater I ever saw.—CoL George L. Cunningham in Globe-Democrat. Caused by Fright. Savants have discovered that the hail oi the prong'horned antelope, like that of man, is made to stand erect by sudden fright. In vestigati.n in this line might take in tho hedgehog and the ridgepo)« cat—New Y'ork Bun.