OCR Interpretation

Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, April 26, 1888, Image 1

Image and text provided by Montana Historical Society; Helena, MT

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn84036143/1888-04-26/ed-1/seq-1/

What is OCR?

Thumbnail for

» » >n
• •
• •
• •
• •
• •
• •
• K«
• •
NO. 22
Helena, Montana, Thursday, April 26, 1888.
Volume XX2.
ÏÇïttlîlii ^{jeraltL
Publishers and Proprietors.
Largest Circulation cf any Paper in Montana
Rates of Subscription.
One Year. (In nilvanoe).............................f3 00
* Months, (In advance)............................... 1 75
Three Months, (in advance)........................... 1 00
When not paid for in advance the rate will be
Four .Dollar* per ycar^
Postage, in all cases. Prepaid.
City Subscriber*, delivered by earrier 81,00a month
One Year, by mail, (in advance)................. 89 00
St* Months, by mail, (in advance)............... 5 00
Three Months, by mail, (in advance)........... 2 50
Jf not paid in advance, 812 per annum.
1 Entered at the Postoffice at Helena as second
e'lHr* matter. ;
•f'Ali communications should he addressed to
FISK BKOS., Publishero,
Helena, Montana.
You *ee 1 had known him for many a year.
And loved him w ith love such as casteth out
No fault could nay worshipful eyes faintly see
In the tender devotion he lavished on me,
Or the bright, winsome face with its matchless
dark eyes.
Whose depths were an ever-incrcasiriK surprise,
And love, such as maidenhood only can feel.
Had jrrown with my growth, for my woe or my
My father entreated, my mother plead hard.
That I would toy darling's warm suit disregard ;
They said he was worthless, lacked manhood,
and more
I will not recall—for it made my heart sore:
J aid'twa* false rumor,'twas enmity's blame.
And I could have crushed those who stole his
good name ;
The harder the world waged its venemous
The closer, the tenderer to him my heart clung ;
|j served but to deepen the love in my soul,
The love that had passed lieyond human
control ;
For su« h deep affection the world seemed well
Fd cleave to him. love him, whatever it cost.
When prayers and entreaties proved not to
My father's hair whitened, my mother grew
A gloom settled down on the home hitherto
As bright as the sunlight had been sifted
through ;
My lieart-strlngs were breaking 'twixt duty and
Distracted, I turned to the Refuge above;
At dusk of the evening I dropped on my knees.
And I egged for some help, heart and conscience
to ease ;
At the feet of man's Helper my heart I laid hare,
Vnburilening my soul of its grief and despair;
eyelids, all swollen with the tears I did
fiMJden. closed softly ; I fell fast asleep.
IVhat strange place is this ! W hat a wilderness
drear !
Not a stripped, leafless tree can be seen for or
near ;
Naught but a wild, moorland, deep covered with
All drifted ami heaped by the wintry wind's
blow ;
In the midst, all alone, stands a little, rude lint.
The window frames broken, through which the
winds cut.
The door half unhinged, such a desolate sight,
That tells its own story of poverty's blight;
No path, not a foot-print about the house lay.
To tell if aught human had been there that day ;
No smoke from a chimney to tell if a soul
Abode in the 1,leak uninhabitable hole ;
1 ventured with boldness to open the door—
Great heavens! what was that crouching there
t>n the floor?
Approaching. I saw 'twas a woman, who bent
O'er a few dying embers, her gaze fixed intent
She held in' lier arms tightly clasped to lier
An infant, so fragile 'twould soon be at rest ;
The woman's thin features I scanned by the
Of the fa*t dying embers ; all, me, what a sight !
( irief. hunger, neglect, remorse, too, I could
n what must have once been a beautiful face;
drew a step nearer; lier head quickly raised,
nd then—true as heaven—in my own face I
eet, for a moment, seemed rooted to earth ;
icart to stand still, when a cry of wild mirth
ped from the poor creature s pale, bloodless
lips, „
shook me with horror to my linger tips,
j't you know me? No wonder," she then
wildly cried, , . ... ..
• now I'm no longer the joy and the pride
earts that would shield me from all you see
here. _ , , ,
»las ' to *lieir counsel I turned a deaf ear;
the wife"—but 1 waited to hear nothing
lied from her presence, flew over the moor
nd the kind parents whose treasure she'd
re she defied disobedience s sin
nd the old homestead, rang loudly the bell,
* stranger appeared, and this was the knell
fell «.ti my breaking heart, seethed through
my brain : , .
r parents are dead : by her they were slam !
ieked in mv sorrow, and awoke from ray
limb's 'liai! so stiffened with pain I could
scream ; .
ntcrlaced lingers were chilled to the bone,
it's mirkness had fallen and I was alone ;
oped my way tremblingly down the front
gratefully stood in the chandelier's glare ;
nwonted peace now succeeded my gloom.
I parted the portiers and glanced in the
was there; hat! long been awaiting me
it fancy ? or did I detect a dark frown ?
heeding, mv arms round his neck I entwine,
1 knew in my heart it would be the last
ireaui was a warning. God-given, I could
jiUerlv weeping. I bade him farefell ;
face was as white as the dead; neither
It*'pain or white anger my words had
awoke? ,, , ,
ver shall know, for ho turned on his heel,
left in silence, without one appeal.
le traveling years later on the banks of ft
passed a rude hut like the one in my dream;
>g howled so piteously outside the door
£ged my companion to go in and explore ;
ound there an infant and—maybe—a wife;
oth were extinguished the last spark of life;
as the home ol the man I had so loved in
had broken seme other poor heart in sad
lunger and sickness he heartlessly fled,
Tt It for strangers to bury his dead.
—llitimnh More Kohnutin Inter Ocean.
w they praised and they applauded
id her every action lauded,
id declared"she'd be rewarded—
, indeed, rewarded richly— in the land l»e
yond the skv,
'or," quoth they, "of the many
our family not any
usefulness or patience can with her begin
to vie."
icn they turned them to their pleasures,
id added to their treasures,
id took all sorts of measures
ave her alone to buttle with the troubles
and the cares,
r she seemed so well to bear them
at they felt no call to share them,
lgh, as oft as they remembered, she was
mentioned in their prayers.
d it caused some indignation,
d no very slight vexation,
icn their overworked relation
her tired eyes upon the earth and softly
sighed "Good-bye !"
d while a few tears giving
ore than e'er they gave her living)
murmured,"'How provoking 'tie that she
should go and die."
The Currency Stringency—The Cause
and the Remedy.
The April circular of Harvey Fisk &
Sods, bankers and government bond deal
en». New York, contains features of inter
est bearing upon the monetary situation
widely recognized by the press and people
of the country. The judgment of the sen
ior Mr. Fisk has through the years com
manded the respect of many thousands of the
capitalistic and investment classes on ques
tions of finance, the valuation of govern
mental, state, municipal and other securi
ties, the effect upon our monetary and in
dustrial life of national policies, and other
and important matters with which the
veteran banker for three or more decades
had has to grapple.
The circular recites the decline of securi
ties, wages, the staple products of labor—
iron first of all—and to the captoin ques
tion, "What is the Trouble/' answers, "The
locking up process of the government
treasury." We quote;
The "trouble" is, the depletion of the
life blood of the nation in the loss of its
currency. If some strong combination
should suddenly withdraw even ten mil
lions of currency from active use it would
almost create a panic. W T hat is the fact?
There is now locked up in the treasury of
the United States nearly two hundred
millions of currency, once in active nse.
Let this out, and at once the "trouble"
will cea^e.
The President of the United States has
seen fit to raise a point about a law au
thorizing the nse of the surplus in buying
bonds, under which law already nearly
two hundred millions of bonds have been
bought, much to the saving .of the people.
He asks Congress to re-enact the same law.
"While waiting for this, the country suffers.
During the terrible war of the rebellion
the government was compelled to pay six
per cent, on its bonds, in gold, to obtain
money. Then the national banks could
afford to pay the one per cent, tax on
their currency issued. Now, when bonds
will pay at current prices only about
21 per cent., the same tax is im
posed, and, in consequence, the currency
issued by them has decreased over one
hundred millions, and the whole ot this
amount is locked np in the treasury.
Congress should order the administra
tion to at once invest the surplus in
government bonds ; should at once take
the tax from national bank circulation ;
should at once order a safe part of the
hundred millions locked up for retired na
tional bank circulation to also be invested
in government bonds, and the "trouble,"
as tar as caused by the loss ol "life blood
of the nation," would cease at once.
Can the government purchase $250,000,
000 of its own bonds? We say yes, with
out trouble. There are falling due in 1891,
$230.000.000 of 41 per cents. These could
nearly all be obtained to save the govern
ment 2 per cent per annum for the time
they have to run. The "fours" could be
obtained in large quantities to save 2] per
cent per annum, and the "currency sixes"
to save 21 to 21 per cent. But, as the 4]s
fall due so soon, it would seem the part of
prudence to retire them first.
We insert here for the information of our
customers anti correspondents some start
ling figures as to the extent of the with
drawal of currency trom the business of
the nation.
The following figures are from the offi
cial statement of James W. Hyatt, Treas
urer United States, issued March 31,1888 :
Gross amount"! of cash in his hands as
Treasurer, $673,158,37169; against which
has been issued in gold, silver and legal
tender note certificates, $292,395,394 00;
leaving net money in his hands as Treas
urer. $380,762,977.60.
Out of this the treasurer has $61.231,
647.36 lying in the national banks, secured
by deposit with him of government bonds.
Of this vast sum, $100,000,000 is retained
as reserve against the legal tender notes;
$37.249,253.08 is retained to cover various
appropriation; $99,192,622 15 is the actual
net amount retained to cover redemptions
of national bank notes, leaving $130.326,
758.54 as the actual surplus at that date.
Of this amount $25,752,828 20 is fractional
The spirit of all laws of Congress is that
only $100,000,000 shall be kept idle, but
from this statement we see $230,326,758 54
is kept idle, and with the nearly $100,000,
000 also idle awaiting the slow process of
redeeming national bank notes, we have
a grand total of idle money of
upwards of $330.000.000, or suffi
cient to redeem on a two per cent,
basis all the outstanding 41 per cent, bonds
due in 1891, and with the additional ac
cumulation of surplus up to the end of the
fiscal year June 30,1888—say $36,000,000
—would then leave the $100,000,000 re
serve against legal tenders intact and some
$25,000,000 besides.
If the remedy for the "trouble" depends
on congress, it should awake at once.
If the administration refuses to act un
der laws already on the statute books, and
trouble should come, then they bear the
blame. If, nnder this law, in good plain
English on the statute books, and nnder
which, already, by previous administrations,
$182,241,750 bonds have been purchased,
the present administration refuses to act
in case of need, while awaiting the slow
action of congress, then let the blame rest
where it belongs.
While the government has so large a
debt, congress should be very cautious in
reducing revenues. The people do not
complain of, or even feel, the. collection of
the present revenues of the government ;
but the people do complain that the pres
ent revenues, paid in to cheerfully, should,
if too much to run the government, be
locked from nse when they could so easily
be used in reducing the debt.
The people ot the United States want
the debt retired and settled as soon as pos
sible Yll the evils befalling the working
men of the Old World come from the enor
mous public debts.
Let us, as soon as possible, be free from
debt. Capital and people from the whole
world will seek our borders, and we shall
become the clearing house of the whole
world. __ ^ ___________
rrogre®« with • Bi K
Eastern Visitor— Well. Em amazed! Why,
You have cable roads here ! .
Omaha Man-Yes, they did very well at the
time they were built, but the city is growing
and we need elevated or underground rail
ways now. .. ,
"My, my ! I thought the cable roads were
^"NewJ ** No^indeed. They're been running
____n. w * * mrr — ,J
Uses of the Lemon.
Boston Traveler: Lemonade from juice
of the lemon is one of the beet aud safest
drinks for any person, whether in health
or not. It is suitable for all stomach dis
eases, gravel, liver complaint, inflamma
tion of the bowels and fever. It is a spe
cific against worms and skin complaints.
Lemon juice is the beet antiscorbutic rem
edy known. It not only cures this disease
but prevents it. Sailors make daily use of
it for this purpose. I advise everyone to
mb their gums with lemon juice to keep
them in gcod condition. The hands and
nails are nept clean, white, soit, and sup
ple by the daily use of lemon instead of
scap. It also prevents chilblains.
Lemon is used in intermittent fever
mixed with strong, hot, black coffee, with
out sugar. Neuralgia may be cured by
rubbing the part affected with cut lemon.
It is valuable aiso to cure warts and to de
stroy dandruff on the head by rnbbiDg the
roots of the hair with it. It will alleviate
and finally cure coughs and cold, and heal
diseased lungs, if taken hot on goiDg to
bed at night. Its uses are manifold, and
the more we employ it externally the bet
ter we shall find ourselves. Lemon juice
is useful in removing tartar from the teeth,
anti-febrile, etc. A doctor in Rome is try
ing it experimentally in malarial fever
with great success, and thinks it will in
time supercede quinine.
Sewer Gas Destroyer.
[London Times.]
What is known as sewer ventilation or
dinarily consists in allowing the poisonous
vapors to escape from the sewers either
through gratiDgs in the roadway or
through shafts or pipes into the atmosphere.
It need not be pointed out bow dangerous
or detrimental to health this practice is.
Free ventilation should constantly take
place in sewers, bnt instead of
the atmosphere being pollnted by
mephitic vapors, all organic par
ticles and deleterious gases should be
arrested on their way out, and so treated
that the products of such treatment should
be perfectly innocuous when delivered into
the atmosphere. This is now rendered
quite possible by an ingenious sewer gas
exhauster and destroyer, which we recently
inspected at the offices of Mr. Stephen Hol
man, C. E., of Great George street, West
miwter. It is the invention of Mr. Keel
ing, and consists of a ventilation column
resembling an ordinary lamp-post in
shape, but being more ornamental in
design. In the base of the column, which
communicates by a pipe with the
sewer, is placed a special air-gas burner
surrounded by a conical iron casing and
surmonnted by two conical iron chambers,
a very high temperature is created within
the chamber and the cones by the burning
of the gas, the iron becoming exceedingly
hot. The heat causes an up draught, and
the current of vitiated air thus drawn from
the sewer is brought into contact with the
gas flame and with the ribbed surfaces of
the heated iron cones above it.
The cones are ingeniously ar
ranged so as to battle the draught
and cause ultimate contact between the
gases and the heated iron furnaces. By
this means all the vital particles injurious
to health are rendered perfectly innocuous
and pass up the column and harmlessly out
through openings near the top. The
opening is surmounted by an ornamental
gas lamp. That the fever germs are abso
lutely destroyed may be inferred from the
fact that the first cone bas a temperature
of about 620 deg. Fab., or that necessary
to melt lead.
Several of these destroyers have been
nnder trial for some time past at Rich
mond, Eaiing, Leicester and other places,
and have been satifactorily reported upon
by local medical officers of health and
borough surveyors. Prof. Attfield, F. R. S^
and Dr. Russell, of St. Bartholomew's Hos
pital, have also tested Keeling's destroyer
independently and report strongly in its
A Simple Invention Worth Millions.
[From the Kansas City Star.]
It is wonderful how the discovery of
what is considered a trilling matter will
bring wealth to the inventor. Take, for
illustration, the perforated substance used
for bottoming chairs and for other pur
poses. Its inventor ia now a millionaire
and is realizing a princely revenue from
it yearly. George Reaton, the inventor I
refer to, was a poor Yankee cane-seater in
Vermont. He first distinguished himself
by inventing a machine for weaving cane,
bat he made no money ont of it, as some
one stole his idea and had the process
patented. After a number of years experi
menting, Yeaton at last hit upon this in
vention, which consists of a number of thin
layers of boards of different degrees of
hardness, glned together to give pliability.
Yeaton went through a number of bitterly
contested law suits before he got his in
vention patented. He was wise in not pay
ing others to manufacture his device. He
formed a company, and to-day he has a
plant valued at half a million dollars.
A Practical Temperance Lecture.
[From the Marlon (lad.) Chronicled
A grocery man in Kirksville, Mo., where
groceries are higher than they are here,
makes the following offer :
"Any man who drinks two drams of
whisky a day for a year, and pays 10 cents
a drink for it, can have at our store thirty
sacks of Hour, 220 pounds of granulated
sngar, and 72 pounds of green coffee for
the same money and get $2 50 premium
for making the change in his expendi
This is a temperance lectnre in itself.
The saving can be illustrated in another
way. The moDy spent in a year for two
daily drinks will amount to $73. This will
keep alive six shares of building associa
tion stock of $200 each. In two or three
years it will borrow enough money out of
the association to build one a comfortable
home and stop a farther expense of $8 or
$10 a month now paid for rent.
"Kiss me Will," sang Marguerite,
To a pretty little tune.
Holding up her dainty lips.
Sweet m roses born in June.
Will was ten years old that day.
And he pulled her golden curls
Teasingly, and answer made,
"I'm too old—I don't kiss girls."
Ten years pass, and Marguerite
Smiles, as Will kneels at her feet.
Gazing fondly in her eyes.
Praying. "Won't you kiss me, sweet,
'Rite is seventeen to-day ;
With lier birthday ring ahe toys
For a moment, then rep'
"I'm too old—I doe't ki
boys !"
[From the London Saturday Review.l
The Standard reports an agitation amoDg
Paris tailors for the redemption of (male)
evening drees. If it succeeds, we are to
wear knee-breeches and colored coats in
the evening. We are to be rescued from
"the discreet habiliments of the British
waiter," who is, apparently, to retain them
himself as a badge of humility. As the
Standard editorially and sensibly remarks,
this agitation, like many others, is doomed
to certain failure, which all friends of men,
as distinguished from friends of Mud, must
regret. In the first place, it has made a
falsa start. Not Paris, but London, is the
place which the civilized world (male)
dresses up to. The Parisian gilt youth is
a poor thing compared to our own, and
knows it. Fashions in male dress often
work upwards— e. g , they sometimes take
their first rise in public schools—but they
do not come here from France. Tbe tailors
of Paris may build green or purple dress
coats, and might even induce them to wear
them ; but the reform will not spread.
Black coats and trousers will continue to
prevail, and a little relieetion will show
how solid are tbe foundations of their suc
In Lord Ljt ton's biography of his father
the great novelist is credited with the irre
sistible determination to blackness of even
ing dress, which has since become uni
versal. Lady Francis Pelham recom
mended her son to wear a black coat, say
ing that he looked best in it, "which is a
great compliment, for people must be very
distinguished in appearance to do so." Tbe
consequence is alleged to have been that
every man who thought himself very dis
tinguished in appearance immediately got
a black coat, with the general result which
we are still privileged to contemplate.
Whatever may be the true history of black
evening coats, there can be no question as
to the grounds of their persistency. They
are, in the long inn, cheap, natty, and
suited to a democratic age. To an undis
criminating eye—a female eye, for instance
— they all look very much the same.
Hardly anyone knows at a party in the
evening whether any given coat on any
one else's back is fresh from t he t ailor's or
approaching the complet ion of its second
year. It produces an outward approxima
tion to the radical fality that one man is
as good as another. For these seasons its
suppression is not within the range of
practical politics.
The same remarks apply with even
greater force to trousers, except that the
case is, perhaps, not quite so hopeless. It
Is altogether beyond 'be bounds of a sober
imagination that there should be a Tory
reaction (in the evening) around the
neither extremities of man. Knee breeches
would wear quite as well as trousers, prob
ably better, in fact, as they would not be
equally given to the loathsome vice of
bagging at the knees. Silk stockings,
though expensive, could not fairly be called
ruinous. The practical objection is their
philosophical recommendation. The shape
of tbe ankle and tbe arch of the foot bear
cogent testimony to breeding. A seemly
development of the calf is a personal at
traction which few of those who have it
can afford to despise. But which of us
have good legs and feet. At present no
body knows. It is possible to assert, with
regard to some men. that their legs are
extremely bad. The contrary asser
tion can be hazarded of the well
made only upon the strength of a
superiori observation. As all cats are
gray in tbe dark, so all legs are middling
in tbe trouser. The base-born baronet con
ceals his coarsely formed shanks as effect
ually as tbe highly-bred poet in humble
circumstances hides, perhaps, tbe principal
advantage with which nature has endowed
him. Could not a lew aristocratic youths,
with pretentions to be amateur pugilists,
boldly array themselves in breeches, stock
ings and buckles, and win from tbe fair
that meed of praise which is surely to be
had for the asking ? In the day time we
make no attempt at ornament, but in the
night we do at least put on clean shirts,
brash our hair, and t e our white ties witu
more or less skill, according to whether we
had or had not the advantage of being ed
ucated at Eaton. All these are attempts
to beautify ourselves in comparison with
our less wealthy or less neat-handed fel
lows. It would be no more than a legiti
mate development of tbe same process for
those who, like Sir Willoughby Patterne,
the so-called Egotist, "bave a leg" to take
advantage of it.
Not Afraid ot Girard.
A man who had just set up in tbe hard
ware business and wbo bad been a clerk
where the eccentric millionaire, Stephen Gi
rard, had been in tbe habit of trading, applied
to him for a share of his patronage. Girard
bought of him, but when tbe lull was sent in
be found fault and marked down the prices.
"Cask of nails," he growled, "which I was
offered for so and so. You have charged so
and so, and you must take it off. "
"I cannot do it," said the young merchant.
"But you must do it," roared Girard.
"I cannot and will not," was tbe final re
Girard bolted out, apparently in a rage,
but soon after sent a check for the whole
bill, Tbe young man began to relent and
say to himself: "Perhaps he was offered them
at that price, but it is all over now. 1 am
sorry I did not reduce the bill and get it out
of him on something else. His trade would
have been worth a good deal to me."
By and by, Girard came again and gave
him another order. The young man was
very courteous and said he was almost sorry
he did not reduce tbe former bill.
"Reduce a bill!" exclaimed Girard; "had
you done it I would never trade with you
again. I merely meant to see if you had
cheated me."—Detroit Free Press.
Mr. Gladstone is very methodical. Not
only are his books arranged in the most or
derly and convenient way, but be has one
desk for his private correspondence, another
for public affairs, and another at wb ich he
conducts his historical and Homeric re
searches.-Chicago Tribune.
A Cafe in a Tub.
A restaurant proprietor of Montmartre,
Frai.ce, recently opened a curious cafe. The
interior is in the form of an immense tub,
tbe illusion of which is carried out by the
circular shape of the doors and windows.
The signboard is inscribed with the word
"Diogenes," whom the untutored folk of
Montmartre imagine to be some fo.low coun
tryman of theirs who had distinguished him
self as a cooper.—New York Sun.
The Worst Trust of All.
[Boston Journal. |
While the iniquity of "trusts" is beiDg
exposed it should not be forgotten that,
taken all in all, about the most dangerous
form of our modern combination is the
"Democratic trust." It is made up mainly
of the solid Sooth, the saloon influence, the
floating or purchasable vote, backed by tbe
great importing interest of New York and
70,000 federal officeholders, more or less.
Its motto is that political power and public
patronage is a public trust—for Demo
cratic benefit. It is one of the largest
combines in this country, and its chief
work just now is to break down the Amer
ican policy of home markets. This "trust,"
howete - , is likely to come to grief, with
all the rest, early in November.
Silver Tableware.
[Philadelphia Pres*. I
Once upon a time well-to-do people used
silver, or they used steel, or a few cf them
had some yellowish-looking forks and
spoons of the same shape as stiver, that de
ceived no one for a moment. There are
people wbo allow nothing but solid silver
now, but they are few, and year by year
they become less and less strict ; for, in the
first place, guests expect so many forks and
spoons that the sums of money locked up
in silver plate for chance occasions might
become, for an ordinary income, uncom
fortably large ; and then we travel so much
and go every year to the seaside, and
change our servants so often, that we have
to consider the load on our minds if we
leave a quantity of silver at home, or the
nuisance of sending it always to the
banker's. Even those whose prejudice
against electro-plate will not allow them to
nse it every day, yield to the extent of a
few dozen spoons and forks to fall oack
upon under pressure.
Dessert in Cambodia.
[From Few York Tribune ]
The French governor genera l of G'ochin
China and his wife were recently invited
to dine with the kiDg of Cambodia. Bat
on entering the royal residence Mme. Con
stans was struck with the sight of a large
iron-barred cage in the couityard in which
two young members of the royal family
loaded with chains were imprisoned. They
had been confined thus for two years. She
inquired the cause, and was informed that
one had been guilty of rebellion and the
other of adultery. Her pity being aroused,
she demanded the pardon of at least one of
them as a royal favor. KiDg Norodom,
who piques himself occasionally on his
gallantry, promised to grant the request.
During tbe dinner that followed an officer
entered and presented to Mme. Coustans,
on a gold p'ate, the forgiveness of one of
tbe prisoners! duly signed and sealed. A
few minutes later another entered and in
the same way conveyed to her the pardon
of the second culprit.
He Put a Handle to It.
The cadets at West Point are expected to
address one another with ceremonious polite
ness, and the latest arrivals are promptly
drilled in all social duties toward their fel
lows. One day a number of cadets accosted
a new comer, and the following conversation
ensued: "Well, mister, what's your name?"
"John Walden." "Sirl" yelled bis inter
locutor, horrified at such an unceremonious
answer. "John Walden," innocently re
peated the culprit. "Well, sir, I want you
to put a 'sir' on it." "Sir John Walden,"
was the calm rejoinder. The error was such
a natural one, and was perpetrated in so
solemn a manner, that the cadets turned
away with roars of laughter, and the new
man was ever afterward known in the corps
as Sir John.—The Argonaut.
Not Room Enough to Grow In.
Esquimaux (to stranger)—Hello 1 How in
the mischief did you get up here?
"Oh, I didn't have much difficulty. How
far is it to the north pole?"
"Half a mile or so."
"Can a fellow go any further north than
the pole?"
"No. What do you want to go beyond
that for? You're further north now than any
explorer ever got before."
"Well, I'm laying off a new addition to
Kansas City, and that'll cut it off rather
short"—Lincoln (Neb.) Journal.
Captaring the Beans' Heads.
"One of the funniest 'fads' of some of the
girls of today," remarked a hatter, "is the
desire for the shape of the heads of their fa
vorite young men on paper. Every young
man who buys a hat now wants the conform
ator used on his head. This, as you know,
shows the bumps with the greatest accuracy
and within the space of a few inches. Tbe
girl pastes these in a scrap book, and when a
good selection has been secured they make an
interesting study."—Philadelphia Call.
A Hard Day's Work—For Clerks.
Omaha Dame—Oh, dear! I'm tired to
Husband—What doing!
"I have been shopping all day; did not
even stop for lunch."
"What did you buy?"
"Nothing."—Omaha World.
The Reason Why.
Mistress—Why, Mary, I told you to make
np my room an hour ago, and here it is in
terrible disorder.
Mary— Y is, mum, an' I did make it up,
but the master came in to put on a clane
collar, mum, an' he lost the button.—The
Epoch. _
A Gastronomical Tid Bit.
Guest at Hotel—Here, waiter, there's a
dead cockroach in this soup.
Waiter—Yes, boss, but you can't spec a
cockroach to lib in bilin' watah. Have some
cold soup, boss?—Washington Critic.
Fanny—You know my husband is very
rich, and yet I am not happy with him. His
way of eating is so disagreeable, showing
that his early education must have been neg
lected. I wish I could improve his table
Laura—His stable manners you mean,
And now they do not speak as they pass
by.—New York Graphic.
Getting a Verdict.
"Ah, gentlemen," 6aid the foreman of the
jury, as he wiped the copious tears from his
eyes, "that was an affecting summing up of
the defendant's counsel. Excuse this emo
tion, but is the verdict guilty or not guilty F
And each juror, his voice thick with emo
tion, murmured: "Guilty."—New York Sun.
Death After I wenty-tliree Years ol
[New York Sun.)
A wealth of roses, pink, white and yel
low, in place of the usual sombre crape
symbol of death, hangs on the bell-knob
of 792 Lafayette avenue, Brooklyn, where
lies the worn and wasted body of Dr.
Charles F. Reed, to whom indeed, death must
have been a relief. For twenty-two years
and six months a helpless invalid, Dr. Reed
was in addition, so great a sufferer that it
was a marvel that he lived at all. The
catalogue of human ills was complete in
one number with him, but he disp'ayed a
degree of fortitude, Christian resignation
and cheeriness that made a wonderful im
pression upon all who visited him. No one
coaid have this experience without acquir
ing a valuable feeling that this world's
troubles are, after all. of little moment.
From a medical standpoint Dr. Reeds
case interested tbe profession of the coun
try and of tbe world. He had achieved an
excellent standing as a physician, in
the community, when in 1864, he was
attacked with dysentery, his system beiDg
all run down in consequence of overwork
and excessive study. A few days' treat
ment conquered tbe original disease, but in
the meantime sciatica, that was in his sys
tem by heredity, developed itself. Eight
years of helplessness and agonizing suffer
ing followed, and in 1872 be had an attack
of cerebro spinal meningitis. Tbe patieDt's
pitiable condition became even worse.
Muscular distortion and wearing spasms
were suffered. At times sleep was impos
sible, unless attendants held by force the
writhiDg body and distorted limbs of the
sufferer. The appetite became impaired
for the first time, and the digestive
functions seemed to be destroyed.
Inflammation of tbe joints was the next
complication, and for a year and a half the
slight jar of a careless tread on tbe floor
near him was productive ot such excruci
ating agODy that he would faint away and
lie as if dt ad for hours.
In 1873 a rash, which had broken out
on the patient's body, was communicated
to his eyes, and total blindness was added
to his other afilictions. This result was
first apparent after a series of electric
shocks suffered by Dr. Reed during a thun
derstorm in April of that year. He de
scribed thç shocks as similar to those re
ceived from a Leyden jar. His faculties re
mained unimpaired, his mind beiDg re
markably clear and his spirits good.
In 1880 the practice of taking him into
the country was begun and he has spent
every summer since in Vermont, near Rut
land. The effect was an improvement of
the digestive and nervous systems, but
none in his rheumatic troubles. He re
mained perfectly helpless and blind. Dur
ing all this time his wife, a slight and
physically frail woman, took almost the
entire care of him. In this she was as
sisted by a device that he bad plamied and
described so that it could be built, by which
she could lift him out of the bed unaided.
The wife's devotion was scarcely less re
markable than the husband's fortitude.
He was unable to make any motion
beyond an almost imperceptible one of the
shoulders, which enabled him to pull a
bell-chord fixed within his reach, and a
slight noddiDg motion of the bead. His
jaws were so firmly set that only liquids
could be given him for nourishment, and
these with difficulty. About a year ago
the decay of his teeth and the exposure of
tbe nerves of four of them added to tbe
sufferings of the unfortunate. It was
weeks before a dentist was found who, by
palling the front teeth, was able to get at
the ones affected, and kill the diseased and
throbbing nerves.
Make Them Handy Andys.
I From Gen. Gordon's Letter.)
If I had eons I certainly would teach
them a little of most tiades, among others,
boot-makiDg. You have no idea how
feeble one feels not knowing these things.
People in our position of life must see the
time has gone past for sinecure posts; that
their sons, or grandsons at any rate, must
be prepared for the colonies. What a
number of useless boys there are, who can
not even write a good hand (I can't, I
know). I had a signal failure on my boots
to-day. A little carpentering, black and
tinsmithing, sboemaking and tailoring,
wonld be a real gift to a yonng man ; he
would be prouder of himself, feeliDg, "Let
the worst come to the worst, I am not use
less." I declare, I feel for the poor little
chaps of the future if we give the ABC
education we do now.
King Milan's Escape.
[From the New York Sun Cable.)
A story from Belgrave, not altogether re
liable, makes the position of the King of
Servia appear a rather uncomfortable one.
It relates that after the harnm-scaram
speech with which King Milan opened last
Sknptchina, a glass of water was placed
before him by bis prime minister, Ristics.
Thns far the story is known to be trne,
and it is also trne that a few days after
ward Ristics had ceased to govern.
The donbtfnl part of the story declares
that the king seized the glass, looked sus
piciously at the water for a second, put it
down untouched, and at the closing of the
Bitting carried it away to a chemist, who
informed him that the contents of the
glass wonld have caused a vacancy on the
Servian throne. Iiistic's plan for getting
rid of the obnoxious monarch, if, indeed,
he had any each plan, woult have been no
new thing in Servia. whose rulers have fre
quently had their careeis violently short
Difficulties of Pläcer Mining.
It will not pay investors nowadays to go
into placer mining without looking along
way ahead. It is only in countries where
there are no farms or arable ground that
placers can be mined for any length of tim«
without harassing and costly legislation.
The farmers whose lands are injured by the
refuse of the placers washed down the streams
are the ones that make the trouble, and
blackmailers use the cloak of tbe farmer to
extort money from the company. In Mon
tana there has been no trouble of this kind,
but in California placer mining has been
killed, and in Colorado tbe fight is just be
ginning between the miners and the farmers.
In one county the farmers are now trying to
«top the running of every ore mill in the
county, complaining of the tailings carried
down by the streams, and if they succeed th9
Colorado placers migut as well be given up
at once.—Mining Engineer in Globe Demo
[From tbe London Times.]
As we have already intimated, the clew
to the making of tbe United States is to lie
sought not so much at New York, Penn
sylvania or Chicago a* in the little New
England towns, with their Puritan chapels
and their elm-arcaded streets. They would
go but a little way toward solving the
problem if they were, as is popularly sup
posed, all of the self-same texture. The
miracle of the indefatigable and inexhaust
ible elasticity of tho American character
would then remain «'ill unexplained. An
observer need but travel upund down New
England, and examine for himself, as our
correspondent has traveled and examined ;
he will discover a perfect magazine of dis
tinct {lowers, tendencies, and ambitions!
out of which for generations America has
drawn the engines for appropriating and
realiziag the mine of wealth reserved by
nature for the enjoyment of the Anglo
Saxon race. New Eugland has contrib
uted its lull share to the profession of
politics The list contains many dis
tinguished names besides that of
Daniel Webster, whom our corre
spondent extols, perhaps with some exag
geration. Iu other and less tumultuous
departments of intelligence New England
has been ever in the front of national pro
gress. In literature, law, theology and
science it represents America in the world.
Yet the New Englanders who have
achieved acknowledged it nown—the Emer
sons, Longfellows, Hawthornes, Bancrofts,
Websters, Lowells, Prescotts, Motleys—
have done less for the nation than tbe rank
and file of their countrymen, unrecorded
and unknown. Tbe hungry soil to which
the Mayflower brought its pilgrims is a
better mother of keen, brave men than
caterer for their material wants. Massa
chusetts and the sister States have been a
perpetual mirsury whence the continent
has supplied itseP" with pioneers of indus
try and agriculture. Wha' „ ver diversity
of treatment tbe infinite variety of Ameri
can circumstances required the exact in
strument demanded bas always been found
ready in the arseDal of New England
shrewdness, stubbornness and mother wit.
America is neither fragmentary or mo ■
notonous. It comprises within itself a root
and basis of a specific nationality, and is
maturing in confonnity with laws ot its
own. In some respects the hugeness of its
area, and the rapidity with which popula
tion is filling it, expose it to a disadvatage
in the eyes ot foreign spectators. They
measure it as the continent it is, by the
side of the Old W T orld. They seem to
expect it to equal in a century or two the
fruits of tenfold the time. Judged by such
a standard it wears a garish, and sometimes
a vulgar look. Tints are not properly jub
dued and harmonized. The task of piling
up riches has outstripped the science
of spending them. Society appears
eager to eDjoy before it has
learned the art. But tbe amount done is
for the time miraculous. It would be in
conceivab'.e but for such evidence as our
correspondent has collected of tbe present,
rather in the back-ground and out of view,
of a much more elaborate human mechan
ism cf brains, gifts, and aspirations, with
multifarious, natural and geographical re
sonrcee to minister to them and be ad
ministered to, than is commonly visible or
understood. America, though it has plenty
still to learn of Europe, has something to
teach Europeans, and especially abont it
self. Few foreigners as yet comprehend
the reason of its growth or the nature of
the future in store for it.
Caring Consumption.
|ChamlH.*r's Jou-nal. |
So many reputed methods for curing
consumption have at different times been
published, raising false hopes in tbe minds
of the victims of that distressing malady,
that we feel some hesitation in giving pub
lication to another. But, according to an
American scientific paper, the method of
M. Garcin has been proved to be of real
benefit to sufferers. Observations bad pre
viously been made at certain glass works
that the use of hydrofluoric acid—which
we may remind our readers is used for
etching glass—had a very favorable effect
upon these workmen who were
suffering from pulmonary tuberculo
sis. From this circumstance M.
Garcin was induced to try the experiment
of submitting bis patients to an atmos
phere containing this acid. His method is
to inclose the sufferers for an hoar every
day in a small chamber charged with air
mixed with the vapor from the acid, the
strength of the charge being regulated ac
cording to whether they are bnt
slightly attacked or whether they
are seriously affected with the disease.
The effect of this treatment is Baid to be
most satisfactory, the effects of coughing
diminishing in ireqnency, the appetite im
proving and the terrible night sweats dis
appearing altogether. It is to be hoped
that farther experiments will demonstrate
the value of this new remedy.
A Foreigner's Mistake.
Distinguished Foreigner—Yee, I have trav
eled a great deal in this country and I cannot
help wondering why your government does
not catch these train robbers and lock
them up.
American—Have you met train robbers!
"Plenty of them ; they're everywhere, it
seems to me, but I must say they are very
polite for highwaymen."
"Very; and I notice, too, that they are all
colored men."
"Oh, those are not train robbers; those are
porters."—Omaha World.
A Cook's Blander.
Omaha Dame—Jane, our guest, Mr. Da
Hunter, complains that you chopjied up his
decoy ducks for kindling.
New Cook—It wasn't for kindling, mum.
I thought they was a pair of chickens your
husband sent home, an' I was tryin' to cut
them, mura.
"Of ail things! Where was it you said you
worked before you came here?"
"At Mrs. De Style's boarding house, mum."
—Omaha W orlcL
Refreshing ner Memory.
"I am so glad you came m, Mr. Wabash,"
said Miss Breezy, brightly; "mamma and I
were trying to recall a certain poet's name.
Perhaps you can kindly come to our assist
ance. His first name is Walter."
"Scott ?" suggested Mr. Wabash.
"No, not Scott; it begins with 'W.'"
"Whitman, possibly; Walter Whitman?"
"Oh, yes, that is it, Walter Whitman.
Thanks, awfully.''—The Epoch.

xml | txt