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s as Volume XX2, Helena, Montana, Thursday, June 7, 1888. No. 28 B. E. FISK 0. W. FISK. ». J. FISK Publisher« end Proprietors. Largest Circulaticc :f any Paper in Montana -o Rates oi Subscription. WEEKLY HERALD: One Yenr. (in mlvr.nrej............................. g 3 00 HI* Months, (In advance)............................ " j 75 Three Months, (in advance)...................j qq When not paid for in advance the Title will be Four Dollar« peryerri Posta#«, in all cases, Prepaid. DAILY HERALD: OttySnliScribers.deHveredhy carrier «1.80e month One Year, by mail, (in advance)................. Jo 00 Hi* Months, by nmi , (in advance)............... 5 00 Three Months, by mail, (in advance)........... 2 50 If not paid in advance, S12 per annum. 'Entered at the l ostoffice at Helena ae second class matter.] KFA11 communications should be addressed to FISK BROS., Publishers, Helena, Montana. THE MINSTREL'S LOVE. boars, | The Minstrel wandered by the mountain stream, And through the leafy grove; à Ho tuned Ins lute and sang, and loi his theme J, Was all of love. ir The birds sang gayly all the summer day Amid the boughs above; The Mb;si n i beard, and answered to tbeir lay, ~ Twas all of love. 'J He met the maid that most be long'd tc meet, 4 As sin* at eve did rove; He greeted her as merest friends might greet, £ Mo word of love! To birds and stream his inmost heart h< Aud might their pity move For his »ad lot; to her alone he dares Mot speak of love. • Y Ah. cruel maid, const thou not read his eyes? Cans: thou not read his heart? * Caiist thou not see that with a smile he tries >1 To hide its smart? Go ask the little birds of what he sang; •' » Go ask each forest tree, ; V.Tiat was the theme to which its branches rang, 'Taasaii of thecî .J _ . —Pittsbu/ g Bulletin. * BONNIE GIRZIE O' GLENBRAE. | • Leeze me, lassie, but I io'e thee, ' And my thochts run like a sang, * A« t he burn adoon the coorie, rr Louping wi' sheer Joy alang. Gin ye knew their sang by hairt, love, And would lilt the simple lay. Oh. how happy wad it mak' me, ; Bonnie Girzie o' Glenbrael *' - _ j ? Yang the lave thee only lo'e I, And my hairt is like a bloom, V As a gowan on the haugh side. Bursting w*' love's pure perfume; ' Wad ye wear my modest posey *. On thy bosom, blest for aye. It would yield its Inmost, spirit, Bounie Girzie o' Glenbrael , , Wad ye sing my thochts, my daw-tie, v Yours wad lilt fond symphony; Wad ye wear my hairt bloom ever, "* Yours wad fellow blossoms be; 6weet wi' joy and love enduring, ~ Hong and bloom wad blend alway. Livin' melody and fragrance— - Bonnie Girzie o' Glenbrael —Malcolm Taylor, Jr. ON THE MOUNTAINS. \ , Time (lies la bti *7 vales below Oat here above he drops his wIdets. '__ fie climbs with footstep calm and slow,_ * Ur pauses while the gay lark sings. > ^ _ snatches from us, so It seems, ' « k In busy towns each happy hour; * _ ^__ D it here above he gives sweet dreams. •• 1 • Tu: ough cloudlets days in some stitt bower. Time carries us to death's dark gate With hurried flight in vales below; _ But here above he seems to wait, * Til And only bids us higher go. * \ For an the mountain slopes we learn ' ' 1 One lesson from our teacher. Tune, *• i Tis we who give him wings to earn 1 What they alone can reach who climb. ' — B. L. Tollemacha. n* Is Mot a Human Boy. I never have met, ' Yet 1 cannot forget, 'Thtrs'er I may w-ander, where'er I may be, The minister's joy. That dear little boy, "T teachers described us a pattern for ma Fve searched for him oft, Alow and aloft, desert and forest and cranny and nook, But never have met. Yet 1 cannot forget, • J ?ood little boy of the Sunday school book. —Boston Courier. Mliat Killed the Emperor. The immediate cause of the cold which fatal to the Emperor William was ^acc ilt-nt which happened to him on the t! ght of Saturday, March 3. His physi Dr. von Lauer, had expressly warned against attempting to leave his bed JntlKiut assistance; but in order to spare Personal attendants, who were in an JLjoining room, the emperor ventured to ^»regard the injunction. He got out of safely, but when he was endeavoring *° return his strength failed him and ha , 10 the floor. 11a was unable to raise -niself. and ere his attendants entered 'f tooni lje had contracted a severe chill, hey did what they could for the em tor s comfort, but he laughed at tha snap, and only besought them: "Don't y a word to Lauerl"—St. James' Ga 'tte. He Had Eighty Nurses. The present emperor of China, when he "f ® t'iiby, had eighty nurses, twenty tanners, twenty-five bearers for his -t- anquin, ten umbrella holders, thirty IÜf CUU î 9 and snr Ssons, seven chief and uty-three inferior cooks, fifty waiters messengers, fifty dressers and other ant si ami attendants to the number of elf Io ' u ' kumlred or more. His spiritual 55® Was looked after by a corps of y Y -five astrologers, sixteen tutors tem, > T, rank )' aud sixty priests.—St. ^pkeL s Gazette. Those Gloves. taSPT^t on eart h is the matter itoa dancef 0Ver theFe? HaS she the St * ^ n o; she's just trying to put a pa r of new gloves.—Judge. In the Madding Crowd. 2 arrin ? er , my watch has stopped. Is 'mmg, Bromley? It's gone!"—Detroit ness. THE PRESBYTERIANS. the relation nation to OF THIS DENOMI THE REPUBLIC. Portraits of Dr. Smith, the Retiring Mod erator, and Dr. Thompson, the Newly Elected Moderator—Academy of Music and Horticultural Hall, Philadelphia. The one hundredth session of the gen eral assembly of the Presbyterian church in America, recently convened in Phila delphia, proved to be an occasion of even mere interest than was expected, quite rivaling that historic assembly in the same place in 1870, which did much toward the reunion of the Old School and the New. The first general assembly of the Pres byterian church in America, consolidating the old side with the new side, was held a year after the erection of tho states into a federal Union by the adoption of the Constitution. And it is certainly no disparagement sf a. v other denomination to add that the Presbyterian church was and is peculiarly suited to America, for though individual ministers and writers cf the church have at various times held other views, yet the church as a church has maintained from the first that no form of church government is of divine command, that the brethren in each country have Christian liberty to adopfc j that form of church polity which is best suited to their situation, and that the presbyterial form is only best for Great Britain and Amer ica because it both requires and cultivates a general exercise of personal intelligence. Every communicant is made to feel that he or she is a constituent cf, •and to that extent responsible for the make up of the session, the presbytery, the synod and the S neral assembly. Even the austere chard Baxter, whose conscience would not allow him to "conform'* in 1G70-80, and who is so little understood by the present generation that his name is some times used 'as a representative of bigotry, was so liberal that he advocated the recall dt Charles II, was made a court chaplain and offered a bishopric by that monarch, and labored long to establish mutual toleration between the sects. lie freely conceded that monarchy was then the best for England, and so an established prelacy was not in itself a wrong; he only claimed a like toleration for those who preferred a presbyterial form, and that the civil polity of a Christian body should be so flexible that it could grow find de velop with the development of the state. It is also worth noting that the estab lishment and growth of the Presbyterian church in a colony was always coincident tfrith the growth of liberal ideas in gov ernment, and so it is quite a natural coincidence that the new government and the new church ZJ IT DE. J. T. SMITH. vf organization came to full growth to gether. As one historian j ocu lariysays: "There was always a good deal of 'E Pluri bus Unum' about the church gov ernment, as its gradations from local session throu g h pres bytery and synod up to general as sembly harmon ized admirably de. chas. L. Thompson. ]th the Ameri i can system of township, county, state and nation, so many units of one order mating one of tho next higher order, with general laws for all and local self government." Even the schism of 1837, complete and far reaching assit was, had some curiously liberal features. It was a division on methods and measures in which each party held to its respective standards, and never was union more hearty and complete than when the two bodies came together. Any man who will compare the original Westminster Confession of Faith with the revision adopted by the general assembly of 1788 will see that the men who took the lead in that assembly were keenly alive to what was going on in America; that they had read the de bates of the convention of 1787 pretty closely, and that they seized upon the full meaning of the new consti tution and foresaw its future effects in securing religious liberty. They carefully struck out every word or sentence which might be so construed as to give the civil government any power over differences in religious opinion, and after providing for synods and assemblies under call of church authority', added these words: "It is the duty of civil magistrates to protect the person and good name of all their people, In such an effectual manner as that no person be suffered, either upon pretense of religion or infidelity, to offer any indig nity, violence, abuse or injury to aay other person whatsoever, and to take order that all religions and ecclesiastical assemblies be held without molestation orftisturb ance." And that is the sound American law today, as ever since the adoption of the constitution; but it may not be so well known that it was the doctrine of many eminent Presbyterians and Inde pendents when the divisions began in England. Indeed, the attention of young Americans should frequently be called to the fact that when the first settlements of New England and Virginia were formed, there was no forced line of separation in England; men of noted Calvinistic views held high places in the established church, horticultural HALL. The general «»embty of tl Church North was held In « °* n f the while meetings of the general MWibly n ,i Preebvteriaa Church South, adjourned from Bar ■ me Academy via iuuaiu nor was it till William Land obtained con trol and the noted Wentworth (afterwards Earl of Strafford) began to enforce con formity in Ireland, from 1032 forward, that tho life and death struggle began. The severity of the, government very naturally drove the Puritans to on op posite extreme; so the former expelled the Presbyterians from England, and the latter made it uncomfortable for them in New England. Fortunately for the New orld uo one sect was strong enough to control; the result weis, finally, mutUEil toleration and the glorious constitution. With perfect freedom Presbyterianism has grown to that great power we now see. The centennial assembly brought to gether many eminent men: Dr. James McCosh, ex-Justice Strong. Rev. Dr. McIntosh, ex-Govemor Beaver, of Penn sylvania: Rev. John Ross, tho Cherokee; Judge Drake, of the court of claims at Washington, and others. Rev. J. T. Smith, retiring moderator, was succeeded by Rev. Dr. Charles L. Thompson, of Kansas City, elected by a nearly unanimous vote. J. H. Beadle. LOUIS 1 OF PORTUGAL. His Physicians Say He Cannot Live Much Longer. Louis I, king of Portugal, and Dorn Pedro, emperor of Brazil, are now added to the list of monarchs whose earLy death is expected. With the emperor of / Ger many, and the kings of Bavaria-, Holland and Wurtemberg, this makes six great rulers who demise may be expected dur ing the year 1888. Of the emperor and Dom Pedro, Americans already know a great deal; but King Louis of Portugal is comparatively unknown, as that little kingdom is practically of no influence in the New World. Yet there was a time when it was a power; indeed, the great empire of Bra-iil is the outgro\.-fh of one of its colonies and Dorn Pedro him self is a Brâganza, that is, lie is of the stock of the royal house of Portugal. When Napoleon L0Ul9 1 0F PORTUGAL. Bonaparte overthrew the royal rule in the peninsula, he put his brother Joseph on tlio throne of Spain, which act gave free course to the revolutionists in Spanish America, and the mother country soon lost all her possessions but Cuba. At the same time John VI of Por tugal fled to his colony of Brazil, of which his son, Pedro I, became prince regent; but he could not resist the tendency to independence, and in 1822 accepted the title of émperor of Brazil. In 1831 he abdicated In favor of his son Dorn Pedro, who was born late in 1825 and has been emperor fifty-six years, though but 03 years old. His mother was a'daughter of Emperor Franz I, of Austria and a sister of Marie Louise, Napoleon s second wife. The English drove the French out cf Portugal, and in 1821 John VI returned from Brazil, agreeing to rule according to a liberal constitution. He died in 1820, and then the Brazilian regent, who would have succeeded, agreed to a separation of the two countries, his daughter Maria du Gloria to be queen of Portugal. But her uncle seized the government, and a civil war followed, the rç3ult of which was a new constitution in 1884, with Maria as queen. She died in 1853, and her son Pedro V succeeded. Ho died of yellow fever In 1861, and his brother Louis (Luiz I) succeeded. He was born Oct. 31, 1838, and according to the physi cians cannot live beyond his 50th birth day. He has been a wise and liberal king, toiling to establish freedom and education and encouraging railroads and telegraphs; but the people appear to have lost that enterprising character which made them so active during the Fifteenth and Sixteenth centuries. Portugal con tains 34,500 square miles and about 4,200, 000 people, and in its financial and indus trial affairs is little more than a depen dency of Great Britain. The Woman of It. Wife—I wish I hadn't written that letter last week, John, i am afraid 1 was some what hasty and unjust. Husband—What letter? Wife—To Veneering & Co.—the one I gava you to mail. Husband (going through his pockets)—By thunder, Maria, there is the letter now! I forgot to mail it Wife (witheringly)—WeS, * declare, John Smith, you are too stupid I Hereafter I shall mail my own letters.—New York Bun. Beady for tha Fray. Washington Hostess (giving an evening party)—James, are the ambulances at the door? James—Yes, ma'am. Washington Hostess—Then you may an nounce supper.—Life. A Well Deserved Fate. Countryman (to dentist)—The tooth next to that *un aches too, doa Dentist—Yes; it aches in sympathy. Countryman—Yank it out; durn sech sym pathy.—New York Sun. » Incontrovertible Evidence. Alberto—Do you love me, darling! * Claribel—Have I not had all Hie chain taken from the room except this?—Detroit Free Press. Too Late. A Chinese almanac, nearly 3,000 yean old, has been discovered. Its discovery cornea too late, however, to supply circus clowns with fresh jokes for this season.—Minnesota Herald. BILL XYE AS A CRITIC. HE DISCOURSES TOUCHINGLY UPON ACTOR O'CONNOR'S HAMLET. A Few Remark* «n» the Manner In Which the Actor "DM Up" the Play—Mr, Nye's Chilling Reception at the Star Theatre. The past week tias witnessed the closing debut of the great Shakespearean humorist and emotional ass, Mr. James Owen O'Con nor at the Star theatre During his extra ordinary engagement he has given us Ham let. Hiidia* and Shyloek, Othello and Riche lieu. I think 1 like bis Üamk-t l>est, and yet it is a plea -ure to see him in anything '.'bere in he kills himself. After seeing his Hamlet I am of the opin ion that he did wisely in choosing New York for debuting purposes, for had he chosen Denver. Col., at the er.d of tho third act kind hands would have removed him from the stage by means of benzine and a rag. Hut James Owen O'Connor has done one thing which i take the liberty of publicly al luding ta lie has taken that saddest and most melancholy bit of bloody history, trim, tried with assassinations down the back and looped up with remorse. Insanity, duplicity and unrequited love, aud be has filled it with silvery laughter and cauliflower and mirth, and various other groceries which the audi ence throw in from time to time, thus mak ing it more of a spectacular piece than it is under the conservative management of such old school men as Booth, who seem to think that Hamlet should be soaked full of sadness. 1 went co see Hamlet, thinking that I would be welcome, for my sympathies were with James when 1 heard that Mr. Booth was picking on him and seeking to injure him. I went to the box office and explained who I was, and stated that 1 b d been detailed to come and see Mr O'Connor act, also that in what i might say afterwards my instructions were to give it to Booth and Barrett if I found that they had tampered with the audi ence in any way. The man in the box office did not recog nize me, but said that Mr. Fox would extend to me the usual courtesies. 1 asked where Mr. Fox coukl be found, aud he said inside. I then started to go inside, but ran against a total stranger, who was "on the door," as wo say. He was feeding red and yellow tickets into a large tin oven. Find looking far, far away. 1 conversed with him in low, passion ate tones, and asked him where Mr. Fox could be found He did not know, but thought he was still in Europe. I went back and told the box office that Mr. Fox was in Europa He said no; 1 would find him in side. "Well, but how will I get inside?" 1 asked eagerly, for I could already, I fancied, bear the orchestra beginning to twang its lyre ~ " Walk in," said he, taking in $2 and giv ing back fifty cents in change to a man with a dead cat in his overcoat pocket. 1 went back, and, springing lightly over the iron railing, while the gatekeeper was thinking over his glorious past, I went all around over the theatre looking for Mr. Fox. I found him haggling over the price of some vegetables which he was selling at tho stage door, and which had been contributed by admirers and old subscribers to Mr. O'Connor at a previous performanca When Mr. Fox got through with that I presented to him my card, which is as good a piece of job work iu colors as was ever done west of the Missouri river and to which I frequently point with prida Mr. Fox said be was sorry, but that Mr. O'Connor had instructed him to extend no courtesies to the press whatever. The press, be claimed, had said something derogatory to Mr O'Connor as a tragedian, and while be personally would be tickled to death to give me two divans and a folding bed near the large fiddle, he must do as Mr. O'Connor had bid—or bade him, I forget which; and 60 , keeping back his tears with great diffi culty, he sent me back to the box office, and although I was already admitted in a general way, I went to the box office and purchased a seat I believe now that Mr. Fox thought be had virtually excluded me from the Louse when he told me I would have to pay in or der to get in. 1 bought a seat in the parquet and went in. The audience was not large and there were not over a dozen ladies present. Pretty soon the orchestra began to ooze in through a little opening under the stage. Then the overture was given. It was called "Egmont." The curtain now rose on a scene in Denmark. I had asked an usher to take a note to Mr. O'Connor requesting an audience, but the boy had returned with the statement that Mr. O'Connor was busy rehearsing his soliloquy and removing a shirred egg from his halidome. He also said he could not promise an audi ence to any ona It was ail he could do to get enough himself for a mess. Mr. O'Connor introduces into his Hamlet set of gestures evidently intended for another play. People who are going to act out on the stage cannot be too careful in get ting a good assortment of gestures that will fit the play itself. James has provided him self with a set of gestures which might do for Little Eva or "Ten Nights in a Barroom," but they do not fit Hamlet. There is where he makes a mis taka Hamlet is a man whose victuals don't agree with him. He feels depressed and talks about sticking a bodkin into himself, but Mr. O'Connor gives him a light, elastic step and an air of persiflage, bonhomie and frisk which does not fit the character. Mr. O'Connor has sought In his conception and interpretation of Hamlet to give it a free ari jaunty Kokomo flavor—a nxmolaon twang of tansy and dried apples which Shakespeare himself failed to sock into hi* great drama. In seeking to combine the melancholy beauty of Hamlet's deep and earnest pathos with the gentle humor of "A Hole in the Ground" Mr. O'Connor has evidently corked himself, as we say at the Browning club, and it is but justice after alL Before we curse the cond emna tion of the people and the press let us carefully and prayerfully look our selves over and see if we have not over esti mated ourselves. There are many men alive today who do not dare say anything without first thinking how it will read in their memoirs—men wham we cannot, therefore, thoroughly en joyuntii they are dead, and yet whose graves will be kept green only so long as the appro priation lasts—Bill Njein New York World, » uci. tcgctauie neer, coueu ~ gZJîl-ZO tic," is imported from Celebes Into Hol land, and is made to take the place of moss and hair in upholstery. Oar word blizzard is said in England to be a corruption of the phrase "blazing hard," applied to a severe gale. A MARRIAGE IN HIGH LIFE. Prince Henry, the Grandson of the Late Emperor William, Weds Princess Irene. On the memorable celebration of Em peror William's SOth birthday the aged monarch announced the bethrothal of his K -andson, Henry of Prussia, wvth Princess ene of Hesse. The date of the wedding was set down for May 24, 1888. Prince Albert William Henry is the second son of the present Emperor Fred erick, and was bom Aug. 14, 1862, at Pots dam. In 1877 he entered the navy as a cadet, receiving his first practical in struction in nautical matters on board V w w PRINCESS IRENE. PRINCE HENRY. the frigate Niobe, which was then cruising in the German ocean and the Baltic. The following vear ho made a two years' cruise in the Indian ocean and the Chinese sea on the corvette Prince Adalbert, returning in 1880. On the 1st of October he passed a successful exami nation on nautical topics at the Naual academy of Kiel, which resulted in his being appointed lieutenant of the navy. In 1884 he was made captain lieutenant and in 1887 chief of the first torpedo divi sion. He is said to be an excellent sailor for owe so young. Princess Irene Louise Marie Anne of Hesse was born on the 11th of July, 1866, at Darmstadt, and is the third daughter of the reigning Grand Duke Louis IV and his deceased wife Alice, who wa 9 a daughter of Queen Victoria and sister of the present Empress of Germany. Her marriage with u rince Henry was to have taken place last winter, but the tragical events which are still fresh in everybody's memory caused it to bo post poned until now. Roseoe Conklin^'* Memory. It was said of the late Roseoe Conkling that he could repeat many verses from memory, not fragmentary lines or brief stanzas, but wbole epics, page by page. The odes of Horace in the original were as familiar to him as tho "Psaiin of Life." He could recite tho first book of Homer, Bryant's translation (which he considered the best), almost without an error, and a portion of the third book, which he said reminded him of the tramp of a marching army. His favorite poems were "Lalia Rookh" and "The Lady of the Lake."— Frank Leslie's R03ERT LOUIS STEVENSON. Tho Scotch Man of Letter* Who Is So Widely Known. [Special Correspondence.] New York, May 17.—Robert Louis Stevenson is at present in America. He spent the winter at his residence at Saranac Lake, New York, where h e went last fall on his arrival here. Mr. Steven son is suffering from catarrhkl consumption. ^ The Saranac lake region is moun tainous and fu]J of lakes, which ** JT" are the delight of anglers. The a ir ROCERT L Stevenson. is pure and dry, and just the place fot one who suffers from a moist atmosphere. Mr. Stevenson's cottage, of which I give a cut, is on the Saranac river and on the edge of tho primeval forest. His wife, mother and stepson are with him. He occasionally walks, but seldom rides. He can tramp about half a mile a day. On Saturday afternoons he is accustomed to receive visitors. As to personal appearance Mr. Steven son "is about 5 feet 10 inches in height, fair and spare; ho wears his light brown hair long and loose; his broad, high fore head is illuminated by a piercing pair of eyes a remarkable distance apart. He has the air of an artist who has been ill, and is now well advanced toward recovery. In conversation he is most animated and cheery, speaking with a crisp Edinburgh accent." Some years ago Mr. Stevenson, being of an adventurous disposition, made a trip to America as an emigrant, and thus went aerfcs the continent in an emigrant car. It was in California that he found his wife. Mr. Stevenson is about 38 years of age. It is said that of his own works " Kid . KB. STEVENSON'S HOUSE AT SARANAC. flapped" is his favorite^ From a bill of fare which he recently wrote out for a visitor who was dining with him, he must be blessed with a sense of the absurd: Saranac Lake. ~ Chateau Baker. "'v., - Menu du 17 Novembre. Huîtres au batter. . Fowl a la barndoor/- ' - Pie a la piecrust. ^ . r- . TâM 1 a l'Américaine. ' .. • yp* Bell - Poivre rouge. „„ vin rouge de Canterac.- . Eau de fontaine de Saranac. -aaj,, Visky Vierge. It is to be hoped that the author who has already shown so much genius will recover his health and live to write many more stories to delight the hosts of his sdmirers. „ _ SOME SPRING rOETRY. MARY JANE INTRODUCES A TER WITH RHYMES. LET Washington a Paradis« of Flowers and Green Tnrf and Bine Skies—Something About the Bachelors in Congres» —A Story Told of lion. Timothy Campbell. [Special Correspondence.] Washington, May 10.—I mnoh ques tion the propriety of poetic prefaces to prosy epistles, but if the muse doesn't fly high at this merry joyous season in Washington, then will she never have use for wings and she might as well go trail herself in the dust. I said as much to Dickey, and that young woman blithely remarked-that any body who would write spring poetry ought to be taken to the graveyard in a spring wagon. However, here is the poetry, and if some of its torching lines do not find a responsive chord in some body's heart, I'll forswear poetry forever: Hail, Washington! the sweetest town Timt ever called the spirit down Of loctind spring, of gladsome May, Of budding flowers, or roundelay ! Up from her parks aüd shaded streets A million multiple of sweets So fill the circumambient air That bees may gather honey there. Above her Bend the bluest skies E'er dropped to earth fçpm Paradise; Her streets in double rows of green Are pathways for a dryad queen; Her parks are gracious woodlands deep, Where daisies dance and pansies peep; Where stately tulips bend their stems To hyacinthine diadems; Where in some quiet, sheltered spot There lives the blue forget-me-not; Where violet and asphodel Their fragrance and their beauty tell; And where on every beneli is found A young man with Lis arm around— A hitching post ? F orsooth, not so ! I'll never tell if you don't know ! '•Ahem," said Dickey with a sinister sneer as I read her the lines. "Well?" said I, a little tartly. "Oh, nothing," said she, "only when I hear an old maid talking of a young man's arm being around anything it reminds me, don't you know, of 1888 trying to get back into an Eighteenth century almanac. " That was uukind of Dickey, but she would not have said it if I had not hidden her rouge box this morning, and she had to come down to breakfast looking like the pale of civilization. * * * Speaking of paint, I am reminded of two things, the first of which is a little story. Long time ago I was among the hills of eastern Kentucky, and one of the adjuncts of my environment in that primitive sec tion was à country store. Nature was, of course, largely in the ascendant among those mountain fastnesses, and I was re joicing in the thought that here at last I might find surcease from the shams of so ciety. In the women I was particularly Interested, and their old fashioned clothes and their natural manners quite charmed me. One day I was in this store when a brawny, buxom, freckled lass in a bright green sunbonnet and a yellow calico dress came in, and with a smile for the clerk and a questioning female look for me, as one woman always gives another whose presence she can't quite account for, she drew confidingly near the young man. "Have you any lady paint?" she in quired. "Any what?" be said, startled out of his self possession. "Any lady paint, I said," repeated ?he girl. "I don't think we have. " he replied, and ba^.'U to look around his shelves in order to recover his wits. In a minute or so, with a whisper from me, he had them back again, and in another minute ho had fished out a box of pink powder, covered with dust and cob webs, a prize long wanting a claimant, and handed it to her. The girl took it with a radiant smite, rubbed a little on her cheeks with her finger, and went away a glittering combi nation of a trinity of primary colors. I That was away out in the hills where nature reigns. Is it surprising, then, that in Washington, where art is supreme, women should worship at tho shrine of the primal goddess less than does her sister of the temple? In the words of the poet, "not hardly," and I am surprised sometimes, painfully surprised, at the hand painted maidens I meet, and matrons, too, more's the pity. The average girl one meets in Washing ton is pretty enough without tho adven titious aid of artifice, but she doesn't seem to think so, and she doctors her complex ion a good deal more than she doctors the real cause of her complexion's need of a doctor. Nor does she do it artistically, though she may think she does, for I have heard numerous men commenting upon the "daubs" they have seen in society, and one adventurous young fellow, with nerve and money, suggested to me the organization of a "school of natural art," as he called it, whose object would be the better education of young women in ex terior decoration. Now ain't that a dainty dish to set be fore the king? Another young fellow offered to bet very pretty girl a dozen pair of gloves that she had her complexion made to order at the druggist's, aud the girl was afraid to put it to the test. Yet that same girl goes about as pink cheeked as ever, and deceives nobody but herself. I have seen women at their own homes aud in the "giddy whirl" who were old enough to be grandmothers, and some of them were, whose cheeks were as red as the blood of healthy youth, and whose shoulders were of alabaster, yet the entire superstructure could have been wiped off with a damp sponge, leaving foundations of—well, leaving foundations of which the least said the soonest mended. With such mothers what other daughters could we expect? But enough of this. I'm glad I'm not a man, or if I were, that I have arrived at an age when my common sense and my sqpse of sight and perception are in equipoise. # *-~ * If there is any object in human life which commands my sincerest sympathy* more than another, it is a bachelor at the ~ ÎW quote the words of a ihelor who naïüstn'ce Déén recfeéme3 — of "innocuous desuetude." He Is the very graveyard of dead hopes, surrounded by the weeping willows of unsatisfied longings, a living monument to undivided sorrow and. unshared joys, and I can't help bat feel [a little lively at seeing his loneUnetp. **» Dickey and I were strolling along Four teenth street the other evening, just at that hour when the day is done, and is 1 see the lights of the villages Gleam through the rain and mist. And a feeling cf sadness comes o'er me. That my soul cannot resist; A feeling of sadness and longing That is not akin to pain. And resembles sorrow only As the mist resembles the rain, and just in front of us, coming from his bachelor quarters on the same street, near F, Senator Saulsbury, of Delaware, now past his allotted threescore and ten, was slowly walking under the trees, with his hands behind him, and his thoughts evidently far. far away. "Dickey." said I, "he's a nice old gen tleman. " "Yes," said she. "but he looks dreadful lonesome. " "He's a bachelor." said I, "which ho shouldn't be." "Possibv " said she. "there's a romance in his life.* "There might have been," said I, "but his practical senso should have come to the rescue, and he should have poulticed his broken heart with resignation and some other woman for a wife. '' "But could he?" she asked, with a lin gering suspicion in her voice that broken hearts are incurable. "Certainly," said I, "and lie would be a great deal mere comfortable now, with a pleasant home, and woman's gentle minis tration, and his youth come back to him in his grandchildren. " H<T didn't hear us, of course, and he walked on, companionless. lonely, his name and his fame to end with him; his potentiality for good cut squarely in two; a tomb at his feet in which there was room bat for one. Nor is he the only old bachelor, I see, floating—drifting about on the currents of life at the national capital. I know many, and I'll venture there isn't one who, if he had hisilife to live over again, would not organize it into a joint stock concern and distribute tho dividends among hi3 wife and children. * - , * * I beard a right good story the other evening about Hon. Tim Campbell, the white necktied M. C. from New Y'ork. The honorable and a party of friends were talking about the qualifications necessary to fit a man for the great responsibilities of representing a district in congress. "All the books a man needs," said one, "is a Bible, Shakespeare and the Revised Statutes of the United States." "Ochone," replied Mr. C, "what's tho nse of books at all, at all, when a good dinner has more 'fluence than a whole library?" Taking congress by and large, it is my opinion that, as a rule, tho stomachic development of members is considerably in excess of the ; r cerebral development. And it is well that this is so, for men ■with large stomachs are the safer states men; they are not plotters and schemers; lovers of ease, they will take no action to ward its disturbance, and they serve ex cellently well as governors to the heady engines with which they are necessarily oompelled to be connected in the work of controlling and directing national affairs. Dickey informs me at this point that when a woman gets to talking politics it develops her leading faculty, and she wants to talk ou forever. I don't. Mart Jane. Emotions and Heart Throbs. In connection with this curious ten dency of the heart and muscles to betray themselves, I had my attention called some time since to an article in The Revue Scientifique describing an appa ratus which was the invention of Pro fessor Masso and consisted of a table on which a man could stretch at full length and, having an equipose so delicate that the slightest disturbance of his center of gravity would call a large indicating needle below to move to one side or the other. It was designed to show how the heart and circulation are instantly affected by the mind, and some strange things were done on it. The slightest emotion would cause tho needle to incline toward the head, and it would dart in that direc tion even when the man on the table was asleep and a noise was made in the room, though not sufficiently loud to awaken him. jMasso relates that an Italian professor submitted to the experiment, and, reclin ing at full length, read to himseif from two books, a poet in his own language and Homer in the original. The needle was passive while he read tho Italian's verses; but when he came to the harder task of translating Homer, it moved to ward the head and remained fixed im movably there. Taken all in all, I am In clined to think that the little force pump in one's breist is about the ouly truthful organ, and that when novelists speak of a false heart they slander it. As a matter of fact, its delicate throbs are attuned to every hidden thought, and perhaps some day genius will devise a form of Masso's instrument which may be attached to a witness in court and enable justice to dis pense with the formality of an oath.— New York Sun. Knowledge of Human Katnre. »First Burglar—That would bo an easy house to enter. Second Burglar—Mighty pretty girl just going in. Wonder if she lives there? "Guess so; she went in without knocking." "No use trying that house, then; most likely the old man keeps a big dog. "—Omaha World. Preparing for the Sport. Friend (to Bertie)—I suppose you know your father and I are going flailing to-mor row, Bertie? Bertie—Oh, yes; pa is getting gèadjr now. Friend—Is bet Digging bait, I presume? Bertie—No, sir; he's reading Munchausen. —Judga „ —, On the Safe Side. Little Dot—I don't like to help wipe dishes. Omaha Mamma—Why not, pet? "If I learn how to do such things just right, I'll grow up into a servant girl, won't I?" "No dear. If you learn how to do any thing just right you'll never be a servant girL"—Omaha World. European specialists have made the ca rious observation that acute rheumatism is more prevalent in dry than in rainy weather.