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-'»« i m ^ 'cr Volume xxiii Helena, Montana, Thursday, January 24, 1889. No. 9 <fl|( lilcclily ijjtraltl. R. E. FISK D. W. FISK I. J. FISK. Publishers and Proprietors. Largest Circulation of any Paper in Montana -o Rates ol Subscription. WEEKLY °HEEALD : One Year, (in ml vance)............................. S3 00 Htx Months, (In advance)............................... 1 75 Three Months, (in advance)........................... 1 00 When not paid for in advance the rat« will be Four Dollars per yeaii Postage, in all cases Prepaid. DAILY HERALD: Ht y Subscribers, delivered by carrier SI ,00a month One Year, by mail, (in advance)................. ?9 00 Six Months, by mail, (in advance)............... 5 00 Three Months, by mail, (in advance)........... 2 50 Jf not paid in advance, SI2 per annum. (Entered at the Postotlice at Helena as second class matter.] S^All communications should be addressed to FISK BROS., Publishers, Helena, Montana. LIGHT AND AIRY. Her Meditations. The one has a divine mustache, The other money bags; I hesitate twirt love and cash, His giblets or his jags. Shall I appear in gowns of state. Or shall I dress in rags? Which shall I choose? What is my fate— His giblets or his jags? Betwixt the two—alas! poor me! My wayward fancy lags; Which shall I take? Which shall it be— His giblets or his jags? Regarding my delay the tongue Of Mrs. Grundy wags. Of each I hear the praises sung, His giblets and his jags. The problem hears upon me still. My resolution fags; Which snail 1 take for good or ill, His giblets or his jags? _ —Chicago Mail Prepared for Business. First Tramp—Where'd yer sleep last nightf Second Tramp—Had a hard night. Slept on a lot o' hay. First Tramp—Well, what's the matter with hay? Second Tramp—It was baled hay. Where'd you sleep? First Tramp—I had a bad night. Slept in a bed. Second Tramp—Feather bed? First Tramp—No, asparagus bed. Say, let's go into business together. Second Tramp)—What kind of business? First Tramp)—Funny business. — Detroit Free Press. What's In a Name? An Englishman whose name was Wemyss, Went crazy at last, so It semyss, Because the people would not Understand that they ought To-call him not Weemis, but Weems. Another whose last name was Khollys, Tried vainly to vote at the pollys. But no ballot he cast. Because till the last The clerk couldn't call Knolliss Noies. And then a young butcher Darned Belvolr, Went and murdered a man with a devoir, Because the man couldn't, Or possibly wouldn't, Pronounce his name prop>er!y Beever. There was an athlete named Strachan, Who had plenty of sinew and hrachan, .vnd he'd knock a man down With an indignant frown If he failed to pronounce his name Strawn. —London Times. A Serions Objection. "What a beautiful girl I" exc laimed young Alexander Me Mash when ho saw Miss ^alley west in a box at the theatre. "Yes, poor thing," said hissister, pity'ngiy, "but sho can never have any standing what ever in society." "Why?" inquired Alexander in surprise. "Because ßho can't whistle a little bit," r^ plied his charming sister, puckering her lips unconsciously.—Chicago News. What He Had to Say. 'Tve something to tell you," ho bashfully said. And his face turned a lobster like hue; Tm sure you ne'er guessed" (here his color all fled) "What I'm going to mention to you." "We've long known each other" (his listener's look Encouragement gave to proceed), "And I trust that true friendship will aid you to brook E'en impertinence, should there be need." "Believe me," said she, with a love wafting smile, ■'Whate'er you may say, I'll not frown." He gasped—in confusion ho stood for a while— "Your back hair is all coming down 1" —Merchant Traveler. A "Skeery-lookin' " Affklr. Citizen—What'll it cost me, Uncle 'Rssta% to bave my hencoop whitewashed? Uncle 'Rastus (dubiously)—Wall, I would gib yo' adwice, Mister Smith, not ter hab da hencoop whitewashed at alL Take a white washed hencoop along 'bout 1 or 3 'clock fat d* mawnin, an' I tells yon, Mister Rmitfr^ it looks mighty ghostly, 'deed it do, at laasi hastily] dat's what I have hoerd sayed. —New York. Sun. Rival Attractions. "My mother's got a prettier face Than your mother has," «aid BV To his little four-year-old cousin Grace, In a boy's most lordly way Little Grace thought for a moment. Then To her mother's defense came she. "My mamma can do what your.mother can't»" She said triumphantly. "I don't believe it," asserted Ray. "But it's so," said Grace with a pout Of wrath and defiance. "Don't you know She can take her teeth all out!" —Detroit Free Prato A Slight Improvement. "Young man," said the conductor, "to bacco chewing is not allowed in the ladies' car." "I am not chewing tobacco," replied the young man, with some severity; "I am chew ing gum." "Well, for heaven's sake," said the con ductor, pulling out from his pocket his box of ôld Comfort, "here, take a chew of tobacco." —New York Sun. All tho corncob pipes in tho world are manufactured at Washington, Mo., where man and a machine make 800 per CL 1 THE TRAVELER'S LUCK. SUPERSTITIONS CONCERNING THOSE WHO START ON A JOURNEY. "Good Lack" at the Parting—People Whom It Is Lucky to Meet—A Negro Supersti tion — A Chinese Notion — The Hump backed Person. There is an old superstition which says, "You must never watch a traveler out of sighf," and still another, "You maun bid him godspeed thrice and good luck ance, and no turn your back to the bow of tho boat while speaking the words." Only a few weeks ago, while making one of a throng of people who were bidding adieu to friends bound across the Atlantic, I noticed that the words "good luck" were oftener used in one form or another than any other expression of farewell; it was; "Good luck go with you," "Good luck to you," "Luck to you," "Good by and good luck"; and one old Irish grandmotl after devoutly crossing herself, called out to her daughter, "The blessed Virgin bring yon and good luck back to me," while I among the rest found myself say ing, "A lucky trip to you, captain," as that monarch of all he surveyed stepped onboard his kingdom, a big ocean steamer, although I am afraid I was tempted to 6ay it not so much in my belief of the f ood it would bring him as in a fore nowledge that he was not only honestly superstitious, but firmly believed in such a wish bringing the safe, quick voyage he hoped for, and 1 am glad to say that in this case the omen proved good. With some sailing masters, however, such an expression would foretell any thing but good luck, and in fact many people dislike to have luck given them in this way, believing that it is ill luck to speak of luck at all; and there are others who, whether they believe in it or not, like to have pleasant things prophesied to them, or, in other words, "they are not superstitious, but they do like to have the signs on the right side. " STARTING ON A JOURNEY. There are plenty of wise men and women who will on no account turn back after starting on a journey; if compelled to, they must sit down or change some gar ment before going out again; others who think.it the luckiest thing in the world to have left something that they really need, for then they say, "We are sure to go back," especially a pair of slippers or an undergarment. Scotch people are very superstitious about the first person they meet in the morning on going out for the day or starting on a journey. If it is a woman, and she is well dressed and pleas ant looking, then it is good; a beautiful child is rare good luck, especially if you can get the little one to notice you; a business man with a quick, brisk walk, or a workman with his tools and filled lunch pail, is also lucky to meet; while the postman, policeman, doctor and priest are all forerunners of anxiety, and you "need be unco canny and unco wary, for there's muckle depends on your prudence that day." A universal negro superstition—and I have found it existing among the Israel ites of New York city—is to ask a question of any stranger who strikes their fancy, and if answered satisfactorily, they be lieve they have taken that person's luck. I once asked an old colored aunty who had been eying me for some time, and who I saw was about to make some in quiry, why she wanted my luck. She looked at me a moment, and seeing I was In earnest, said, "Well, honey, I don't want all your luck, but you's young and kin get more, and I's gwine to see my daughter, who am expecting a little baby girl, and I wants her to look just like you." The compliment was appreciated, and so when she left the cars 1 carefully dropped a silver dollar where she would see it. Picking it up and holding it out for mo to see, she exclaimed, "1 knowed you'd bring me luck." A German superstition, and ont said to alter your luck if it does not please yon, is to change of remove some article of clothing, such as tho right cuff to the left arm. or your earrings or finger rings, or take off your hat, being careful to put it on straight. A CTIINES* NOTION. The Chinese believe that when starting on a journey it is great good luck to have an insect or reptile go out before you, or, better still, to cross your path coming from the left side. If you are not thinking of taking a journey and find a key, you may expect very shortly to have to pack your trunk. To start on a journey with the new moon is by far the luckiest thing one can do. A white mark on the nail of the little finger of either hand is said to foretell a journey, the old saying, "A gift, a friend, a foe, a lover to come, and a journey to S ," being firmly believed in by more in one wise woman. Cut your nails on 8aturday if yon wish to travel, for to cut them on Monday is to cut them for health, on Tuesday for wealth, on Wednesday for a letter, on Thursday for better, on Friday for woe, on Saturday a journey to go. It is considered very lucky by some to meet a humpbacked person when starting On a journey, and if you would have rare good luck be sure to touch his hump. When starting on a journey remember to put your right stocking on first and your right foot oat of the house first, and do not look back at the house after the front door is dosed.—Harper's Bazar. S)od er, Raw Material of Man. 'The human boy," says The London Evening News, "is a potentially important member of society, in that he is the raw material of man; but only a prejudiced »in put him on a par with the flowers of the field as a thing of beauty end a joy forever. " Here we have the K'lisn article pictured. ut the wild, unkempt American speci men—we mean the composite product—is a study of more than passing interest. What he lacks hi fine qualities is made up by his robustious, full orbed love of mis chief. In him yon have the miniature of a vivacious, restless, resourceful man hood, always eager and ready to vent his superfluous spirits, sometimes at his own cost, bat chiefly to the disadvantage of others. But there is the making of a man in him every time under our free and un fettered institutions, and that benefit in heres in American life as contrasted with the crowded condition in which these less favored sons are bom who live and die on British soil, with scarcely a hope, in the vast majority of cases, or rising above the d eed level of their early career.—Boston Trans cri ut. a I THE CHAMPION EATER. He Devour* Potato Cast aids and Snffar Cane by the Cartload. On the plantation of Capt. W. H. Btokes, in Twiggs county, there resides a white tenant who promises to become the champion eater of Georgia without any opposition. The man's name is Ebb Floyd, and he is said to be a short, stout mai, pf_30 years of age and of a jolly dis position. Floyd first attracted the attention of his neighbors at a log rolling which took place about a month ago. On that occar aion, after finishing the work tho work men sat down to a. supper, and before them, among other things, were placed fifteen large potato custards. This dish was a favorite of Floyd's, and the fact was known to several of his friends, who were present at the supper. One of them, in a banter, offered to bet with Floyd that he could not eat half the custards at the same meal, and was very much sur prised when his farmer friend took him up. and agreed to eat ten of them with out stopping. Piling up the dishes in a circle, he commenced upon the spread. Five were soon eaten, and then the fun began with a rush. One after another disappeared slowlv but surely, until the magic num ber of ten came to hand, and all present were in an uproar. Straightening himself out for the fray, the farmer commenced on the home stretch. Ten large sweet potato custards inside of him and five awaiting the at tack presented a ludicrous scene. It was agony, but three soon sped away on their journey to meet their fellows, and gradually the last of the fifteen found it self on the way down to the depths. He had accomplished the feat, and the prize Mfered in the bet was his, and his only. This was, however, only a 6tarter for Mr. Floyd, and so, therefore, he chose a day for another effort, and again he came out victorious. This time it was a chewing contest, and sugar cane was the object of his at tention. After a day of frolic and fun, and after indulging in a hearty dinner, with turkey and stuffing to his heart's content, he visited a house where he expected to eat supper and remain all night. This time a crowd had gathered to see the Twiggs wonder, and an abundance of good, juicy cane had been set in the room ready for the contest. As a preliminary, fourteen full stalks were chewed before supper, and then all hands sat down to an old time Thanks giving supper, with 'possum and yams and plenty of rich gravy. Finishing supper, the host announced to liis friends that the contest was ready to be opened, and asked if any one pres ent wanted to make bets on the result. A school teacher in the crowd sug gested that a speedy trial be made, and offered to wager that Floyd could not chew three stalks in ten minutes. This was accepted, and the schoolmaster set before him three large, fine stalks and called time. Two of them were disposed of in five minutes, and the third one saw its fate In two more minutes, making the farmer the winner by three minutes. This settled the question of speed, and then some one offered to bet two to one that Floyd could not drink a quart of the juice down without stopping. He was a wiser man in just a minute later, for, catching up a jug, Floyd drained it of three pints of the sweet stuff. Every one was satisfied and he was the hero of the hour, when a small hand cane mill was brought into tho room and twenty stalks were crushed, giving out three gallons of juice. This was a startling announcement, and it had the effect of making Floyd a lion among his friends, when they were taken aghast bv the statement that he sould chew twenty stalks before he re tired and not feel the result. Every one laughed at him, and all thought him to be jesting when he laid out twenty of the largest stalks of cane near his chair and commenced on the work of grinding out the juice with his molars. One by one the stalks were taken up and stripped, chewed and the pieces thrown aside, and in exactly one hour and fifteen minutes the little pile was exhausted and the man was ready to quit and retire from the field. The news of his feat spread far and near in his neighborhood, and now he is the wonder of the section. His friends in Twiggs county pit him rst any man in the world for the pionsnip and a prize of $100.— Macon (Ga.) Telegraph. Superstitions of Negroes. Burn old shoes and the snakes will squirm away from that place. Shoes must never be put on a shelf higher than the head of the wearer. To keep shoes, even after they are past wearing, will keep good luck about a place. If you stub the right toe you will be welcomed; if you unfortunately stub the left you may know that you aren't wanted. Burnt shoe soles and feathers are good to cure a cold in the bead, say old aunt ies, and parched shoe soles and hogs' hoofs is a good mixture also for coughs. The older dusky maids believe that when their shoes come untied and keep coming untied it is a true sign that their sweethearts are talking and thinking about them. Good luck to the child who draws on her stocking wrong side out. If she takes it off and rights it before 12 o'clock she may feel assured of getting soon a nice present. A more absurd fancy is to believe that when any one accidentally spits on the old shoe a child wears this gives assur ance that the child will Boon have brand new footgear.—Exchange. An Intereating Controversy. Bobby—They were talking about yon last kt, Mr. Featherly. r. Featherly—Is that so, Bobby f' Bobby—Yes; about your being homely enough to stop a clock. . Mr. Featherly (anxiously—Who said I was, Bobby?" Bobby— Ma. Mr. Featherly (much relieved)—Oh, your ma! And what did your sister Clara say!" Bobby—Sho didn't think so. Mr. Featherly—Bless her—h'm— er— did she think I was handsome?" Bobby (hesitatingly)—Well—or—n—no; she Mid she didn't think yon could stop a clock, but she thought you might make it lose time very fast"—Harper's Bazar. SEEN IN CHINATOWN. NEW YORK YOUNGSTERS, WHO ARE FOND OF SLUMMING, Find Among the Almond Eyed Denizens of Mott Street Much That Is Interesting. Cleanliness of the Orientals—Meals at a Chinese Restaurant. There has grown up a fancy among the young people who are rather suffering for amusement to explore Chinatown, and they find much that is amusing beside tho yellow skinned beauties. Sunday evening is the time chosen for this sort of slumming, as then the pigtailers con gregate from far and near to buy supplies of Chinese food, which last them all the week in their Jersey City and Hoboken laundries. At that time Mott street and its vicinity present a pretty fair imita tion of Hong Kong, despite the fact that trains are thundering by through the ele vated network at Chatham square. The streets are almost impassable with the chattering crowds of Chinamen, each with a parcel under his arm, containing salt turnips, dried shrimp, tea and rice, which they have come to purchase fop their seven days' supply. These Chinese eat comparatively little American food, and tho Chinese groceries, of which there are thirty or forty, do a thriving trade, drawn from all the cities within easy dis tance, many of the grocers being worth anywhere from fifty to a hundred and fifty thousand dollars. You will find their stock is nearly all Imported; they keep very few American products, and you will wander among these jostling crowds for hours without hearing one word of English or suspect ing that such a tongue was known were it not for the patent medicine advertise ments, which carry the language every where, and are 6een here in profusion, setting forth their merits in both tongues, and reaping, it is said, great store of shekels from tho pigtailers, who dote on stuff of the sort and pay fortunes to their own nostrum sellers for the stylo of medi cines which were in vogue in Europe in the middle ages. In every grocery hangs three or four pairs of antlers in the velvet, and the powder obtained by pounding a fragment of them in a mortar with a sliver of Chinese ginseng root makes a dose which would go on a silver quarter, costs anywhere from $40 to $75, and is taken once a year by any one who can afford it with the firm conviction that it has power to not only cure but ward off possible disease during the coming year. Tho method of getting prescriptions Is simple but somewhat haphazard. A Chinaman who feels that something is seriously wrong inside goes to the joss house, sets up two incense sticks in the incense burner, takes a small jar full of narrow bamboo slips in his hand, bows three times and begins to slowly shake the jar from side to side. In the course of a minute or two one of the slips works its way out from tho others and falls on the floor. It has a number on it, and that number corresponds to a prescription to be found in a tattered and dingy "oracle book" hanging on the wall. The patient secures that prescription from his chemist, and takes it with full faith in the Joss' diagnosis and remedy. Nearly every man Jack of these Chinamen that the society people go down to gaze at curiously as they clatter through the narrow streets among the stands where salted peanuts and Chinese cabhage and cucumbers are sold, is a washerman. There are 2,000 laundries in New York alone, 900 in your city and 200 in Jersey City, which is called in the Confucius "musquito land." Each laundry has from two to five men working in it, and most of them make money, for the Chinese exclusion bill keeps away competition and gives them a sort of laundry trust of it. One young woman, who has lately been on an expedition of this sort, when she acquired this piece of information saw in it the explanation of a fact that had greatly puzzled her—which was that every Chinaman she saw was clean. She had gone into little rooms crowded to the doors with Orientals, where the windows were shut and the gas burning, and yet there was not the smallest hint of un S leasant odor. She had explored opium ens and found every smoker with the snowiest stockings on his unslippered feet, and she came home much amazed having had some previous experience among the lower classes of other nations. Possibly the laundry profession being so widely diffused explains their cleanliness. They not only wash themselves, however, but the Melican man can go into their bar ber shops any evening and see the barber brash out and braid up their long queues, shave away all the hair around tue face and neck, remove all traces of beard and manicure their nails, his customers com ing out from his hands as fresh and clean as a yellow rose. Of all the places in Chinatown the most interesting are the restaurants, of which there are eight. The Delmonico's is Hong Ping Lo's, where one can order a "spread" of forty courses, which it takes two days to eat and which can be had for the sum of $50, and provides enough for a party of six. Here's a meal for three at the Chinese Delmonico's and the prices: We had tea. samsu (rice brandy), two kinds of wine, a dish of chow-chop-sucy. which is a pungent and palatable conception of chicken livers and gizzards, fungi, bamboo buds, bean sprouts, water chestnuts and all manner of savory spices stewed to fether; a dish of cuttlefish, one of ducks' reasts, chickens' wings, pigeons' wings, a bowl of rice and a mooncake by way of sweets, and for this, with all the attend ant dishes of sauces and condiments, one pays $1.25. A full, square meal, deli ciously cooked, dainty > and delicate, for about forty cents apiece or less, because there was enough on the dishes to have fed three or four more people. This fact is becoming known, and over five hun dred Americans are regular customers at the Celestial eating house. They do not want them there, either, because they are too cheap. They study matters closely, and manage to get their meals for about ten cents, while the Chinese, who are all high livers, spend their money freely.— New York Cor. Brooklyn Eagle. Egyptian Tbs i The tax collectors' receipt s of the ancient Egyptians were inscribed on pieces of broken crockery. Some of them, from the British museum collection, have been translated, and show the tax in Egypt an der the early Ccesars.—Arkansaw Trav eler. HE WASN'T A SHEFF. The Manufacturer ant] the Dignified Man Have a Talk. A man with a hole in his hat, a red nœe, and his coat fastened together with a horse shoe nail approached a well dressed and digni fied resident of Brooklyn on a Hamilton ferry boat and said: "Sir, I see by tho morning paper that we are going to have colder weather." The Brooklyn man looked at him hard, but didn't commit himself. "I was a capitalist onct, to change the sub ject," said tho man with the storm signal nose. "I don't look it now, do If' "No," replied the Brooklynite. "I was, though. The last of a large fortune has gone." "Whisky?" inquired the Brooklyn man. "No, sir," decisively replied tho man with the illuminated nose. "Nothing of tho kind. Speculation, sir. I went up to Croton a year ago and bought a brick yard. I tried all the dif'rent receips for making brick that I knowed and they all failed. Do you reckon I orter havo put sal'ratus in them brick to make em raise?" "I am not engaged in the manufacture of bricks," said the dignified man coldly. "Exactly—only wanted your private 'pin ion, podner," answered tho man with tho edi tion de luxe nose. "Jess wanted to know if you thought the bakin' sody would of h'isted 'em. Didn't know not hing 'bout brick, you see—mebbo I orter used bakin' powder in 'em, eh P "I don't know, sir," and the man from the City of Churches buttoned his overcoat up under his chin. "Them bricks o' mine wouldn't swell up an' fill the dish we baked 'em in, you know," went on the ex-capitalist, as he pushed back a lock of his hair that was escaping through tho hole in his hat. "I didn't have no re ceipts for mixin' bricks 'cept ones I picked up. I had never run no brick bakery.' I wa'n'fc no sheff. You know what I mean by sheff, do you?" "Please have the goodness to direct your remarks elsewhere, will youF' said tho man from Brooklyn. "No offense, sir, no offense," went on the other, fastening his coat a little closer with the horse shoo nail; "I s'posed you was a'quainted with French, that was all—I ain't no desire to use language that you don't git onto read'ly. I meant I wa'n't no head cook, that's alL Mebby I socked too much yeast them brick. P'raps I orter made salt risin' brick. Like enough I should 'a' set them brick over night m a tin pan and kneaded 'em in the momin' an' baked 'em with a quick fire. Pro'bly it 'u'd been better to mix a stiff batter and set on the stove and stir constantly. What's your idee?" "Let mo alone or I'll have an officer take you in charge when we land." "Don't do itj don't do such a thing. You are successful in business—I failed, that's all tho difrence. Sometimes I think I orter put more short'nin' in them brick. I al'ays said 'a gm. try an' make my conscience do." "No. sir!" "Make it a quarter an' 111 rustlo fer the other twenty-five." "Not a cent!" "Call it ten, old man, an' I'll bank it till I touch another gent for the forty." "No, sir I I believe that you are an im poster and that what you told me abont your orick yard is false," and the dignified man arose. "Sir, do your worst," said the unfortunate man ufacturer, as ho took another reef in his coat "Don't even make it a nickel unless you feel that you can spare it without weakenin' your cap'taL You may see the day when you'll bo 6tandin' over a mes* of brick un certain whether to put in one or two pinches of salt Au revoir —beg pardon—good-by!" —New York Tribune. A Bed in Klcaraugna. It consists of an ox hide drawn, while green, tightly over a stout framework of wood, and afterward elaborately polished, bo as to look like the head of a drum. When dry, a slab of marble is a soft and downy thing in comparison with it. It was on such a bed as this, with a smoerth and gaudily colored petate or mat, and a sing'e sheet spread over the hide, that I was invited to repose. I examined this new instrument of tor ture narrowly. and finally turned in with heavy misgivings, particularly as I found that PeJro's mansion was full of fleas, which had already set my nerves on a gallop I was weary enough, but it was imposable to sleep—the fleas came in hxmg.*y squadrons, and the hide bed grew momentarily more rigid and obdurate. At bist I could endure it no longer. A bed on the ground, with my saddle for a pillow and the sky for a roof, would have been a luxury itself compared with this. I got up. unbarred the door, and went out on the corridor. The cool evening air was most welcome, and I vowed audibly not to go to that ox hide bed again, and so re ' outside till dawn.—E. G. 3quier. A Speck of Condensed flw eet n e—. "Talk abont 'sweetness long drawn <mtr " exclaimed a friend the other day— "if yon want to realize what that term means, yon should take into your Sys tem a little of the sugar that drug drug ietor gave me a taste. He just put a little speck of this sugar on the ena of my tongue and informed me that it was just 280 times as sweet as ordinary cane sogar. Well, I should say it was. 1 tasted that sugar all day long, and there is a faint suggestion of it hovering abont my palate even now. The same day I was beguiled into taking that little speck of condensed sweetness on my tongue I smoked four or five cigars and ate a hearty dinner, bnt the sugar was mare rerfal than cigars and dinner oom 1, and 1 tasted it through the nico tine and roast beef. I really believe honey would have seemed sour after tak ing such n dose."—Pioneer Press "List ener." _ A Story of "Larry** Jerome» One of the best stories told of the late "Larry" Jerome is that when traveling in Florida not very long ago he stayed at a hotel, the proprietor of which asked him, when he was abont to depart, to sign his namq in a book not quite like an ordinary hotel register, bnt one used, after the fashion of an old English custom, for the purpose of obtaining the names of dis tinguished guests. When Mr. Jerome war about to place his signature with the others, be saw that the writer just before bim had incribed the comment, "I came here for change and rest and got it. " Quick as thought the witty clubman penned beneath it, "I also came here for change and rest, bnt the waiters got the ehange and the landlord got the rest."— New York Press. THE SnEATIl OF CUSTOM. HAVE WE REACHED THE VERY BEST METHODS OF LIVING? Oar Proneness ' to Honor Customs and Practices Simply Because Everybody Else Does—now Much Is Reasonable and now Much Is Merely Arbitrary? Every human being grows up inside a sheath of custom, which enfolds it as the swathing clothes enfold tho infant. The sacred customs of one's own early home, how fixed and immutable they appear to the child! It surely thinks that all the world in all times has proceeded on the same lines which bound its tiny life. It regards a breach of these rules (some of them, at least) as a wild step in the dark, leading to unknown dangers The elders have always said (and, indeed, it seems only reasonable) that by this time of day everything has been so thoroughly worked over that the best methods of ordering our life—food, dress, domestic practices, social habits—have long ago been deter mined. If so, why these divergences in the simplest and most obvious matters? And then one thing after another gives way. The sacred, world wide customs in which we are bred turn out to be only the practices of a small or narrow caste or class; or they prove to be confined to a very limited locality, and must be left be hind when we set out on our travels; or they belong to the tenets of a feeble sect; or they are just the products of one age in history and no other. Are there really nc natural boundaries? Has not our life anywhere been founded on reason and necessity, but only on arbi trary customs? What is more important than food, yet in what human matter are there more arbitrary divergences of prac tice? The Scotch Highlander flourishes on oatmeal, which the English Sheffield iron worker would rather starve than eat; the fat snail which the Roman country gentleman once so prized now crawls un molested in English or American gardens; rabbits are tabooed in Germany; frogs are unspeakable in England; sauerkraut is detested in France; many races and gangs of people are quite certain they would die if deprived of meat; others think spirits of some kind a necessity, while to others again both these things are an abomination. AND YET, WHY NOT? Every district has its local practices in food, and the peasants look with the greatest suspicion on any new dish, and can rarely be induced to adopt it. Though it has been abundantly proved that many of the fungi are excellent eating, such is the force of custom that the mushroom alone is ever publicly recognized, while curiously enough it is said that in some other countries where the claims of other agarics are allowed the mushroom itself is not used. Finally, I feel myself (and the gentle reader probably feels the same) that I would rather die than subsist on insects, such is the deep seated disgust we experience toward this class of food. Yet it is notorious that many races of respectable people adopt a diet of this sort, and only lately a book has been pub lished giving a detail of excellent proven der of the kind we habitually overlook— nasty morsels of caterpillars and beetles, and so forth. And, indeed, when one comes to think of it, what can it bo but prej udice which causes one to eat the periwinkle and re ject the land snail, or to prize the lively prawn and proscribe the cheerful grass hopper? Why do we sit on chairs instead of on the floor, as the Japanese do, or on cushions like the Turks? It is custom, and perhaps it suits with our ocher cus toms. The more we look into our life and consider the immense variety of habit in every department of it—even under con ditions to all appearances exactly similar —the more are we impressed by the ab sence of any. serious necessity in the forms we ourselves are accustomed to. Each race, each class, each section of the population, each unit even, vaunts: its own habits of life as superior to the rest, as the only true and legitimate forms; and peoples and classes will go to war with each other in their assertion of their own special belief and practices, but the question that rather presses upon the in genuous and inquiring mind is whether any of us have got hold of much true life at all.—Home Journal. Italian» Not Good Soldiers. Italians, the veteran diplomatist on to say, may become good diplomatists, sound jurists and successful merchants, but they will never be soldiers in the true sense of that word. Take their splendid fleet of ironclads, for example, and mar shal it in battle array against a French, English, Russian or German squadron, commanded by a French, an English, a Russian or a German admiral, and the dis aster of Lissa will be rehearsed over again. Much of this incapacity for successful military achievement is due to want of training on the part of the officers. In Italy there are many military schools that are well attended; but in them, as in the universities, there is a fatal lack of sever ity in the examinations, and once the student has left school he is never after ward seen with a book in his hand. It is for this reason that we find the officers in command of the Red Sea expe dition committing precisely the same er rors that their predecessors fell into in 1849 and 1866. The Italian officer seems to be concerned about only one thing—the effect that he is producing on the women and on the bystanders in general, and I have seen veterans covered with decora tions, who never forgot, betöre going into the street, to arrange their hats and to look into a glass.—Paris Cor. New York Press. Value or an Anto^rapli. Fanny Davenport, like all other celebrated people, has been the enduring victim of the autograph fiend. She made a test of the sin cerity of one of these hunters in Boston. A lady wrote her an appealing note stating that she would consider Miss Davenport's autograph invaluable. "Well, we'll see if she does," said the actress, and taking out a carte de visite she wrote across the face of it: "Pass two. "Fanny Davenport." "Now, there is my autograph," said she, "and I will see if this party considers it of sufficient value to keep it or use it to get into the theatre." It is hardly necessary to state that the pass was found in the ticket box the next evening. Miss Davenport now places the value of her autograph at about $3, as that is what the seats were worth.—St Louis Globe-Democrat The Thirty Years' Plague. Very striking is tho contrast between tho plague af Athens, affecting chiefly a single city and lasting but a short time, and the plague which extended with vary ing degrees of intensity from Persia to Gaul in the reign of Justinian, lasting no less than thirty years, and destroying (according to an estimate which the his- • torian Gibbon did not consider extrava gant) no fewer than a hundred millions of human beings—a number not much less than the entire population of Great Britain and tho United States. In this long lasting and most terrible plague, tho features of the disease were quite unlike what had been noticed during the plague of Athens Procopius studied it both as historian and physician. In most cases tho mind was first attacked, anxious fears and saddening visions seem ing to overpower the reasoning faculties. But usually a mild fever was the first sign of mischief, nothing in its earlier progress suggesting any serious danger. Before long, however, the glands be neath the ears, under the arm pits and in tho groin swelled alarmingly, especially as these swellings were soon recognized as signs that the dreaded plague fever had indeed seized its victim. The swellings became tumors, within which a hard dark substance as large as a bean was formed. If these tumors re mained hard and dry blood poisoning fol lowed, and on or about the fifth day from the setting in of the disease the patient died. But if the tumors softened and suppur-.ted the venom of tho plague seemed to be discharged and the patient was saved. Sometimes the fever accom panying the development of these tumors brought a profound lethargy on the pa tient, who suffered little, begging only to bo let alone that he might die un tor tured by medicine, surgery or even nurs ing. More frequently the fever brought on raging and delirium. In all cases the bodies of those who died of the plague were covered with black boils or car buncles. All hope was given up when these appeared.—Richard A. Proctor. Real Causes of Tumors. It is seen that tumors are not, as a rule, due to juices, humors and many other strange and mysterious material substances, which for so long were be lieved by the profession, as wtll as laity, as causes, but are really and in fact due to influences or forces which have been brought to bear upon protoplasm, which force, influence or impression has resulted in changing or diverting the normal im pulse into an abnormal, vicious impulse which finds expression in the growth of protoplasm into tumors. It is also seen that elements which, un der one condition, place or organization, are really the normal, natural constituent of the tissue, in another condjtoon, place or organization, become a tamor. The cell of cancer is, in its proper condition, place and organization, the normal ele ment of the skin and mucous membrane. The cell, or the source of the sarcomas, or fleshy tumors, is, in its proper place, con dition and organization, the white blood corpuscle, or the element of "proud flesh" which is sometimes seen In the healing of wounds. The element of the fibroid tu mor, or tumor made up of fibers, like threads rolled and interlaced with each other, is, in its proper place, condition and organization, the connective tissue of tho body. It is, therefore, plain that that which makes a tumor is a force acting on proto plasm, end that the direction in which this force is exerted determines the char acter and development of the tumor.— Globe- Democrat. Deeply Offended. to Two fashionably dressed girls tvith beautiful faces—faces pure and sweet, and withal as full of tender pity as the face of the Sistine Madonna—stepped out of a handsome equipage and hurried across tho sidewalk toward a store. A little street gamin only abont 7 or 8 years old came loitering along the walk, and just as tho girls crossed his path he had his head turned in the opposite direction. A col lision was the result, in which the little fellow was thrown heavily to the ground. The girls immediately stopped, and one of them, her eyes filling with sympathetic tears, raised him from the stencs with her delicately gloved hands, and said in tones of teDderest pity, "Poor little fellow, are you badly hurt?" Whereat the urchin, digging one grimy fist into his eye, gazed at them askance and retorted, '"Naw, I ain't; what's eatin' yer, anyhow?" Then, sticking his hands deep into his funny little pockets, he sidled off down the street with all the dignity of an offended monarch.—Chicago Mail. The Wonder» of Memory. In the course of a recent conversation with a friend I observed that my story about the remarkable memory of a mem ber of Dr. Crosby's congregation had been received rather skeptically in some quar ters, and in at least one case its truth flatly denied. "The lady has a wonderful memory," said my friend, "but she does not stand alone. There is Joseph Jeffer son, for instance. He told me not long ago that he could remember almost every play he had ever feted in and could re peat his part in it line for line and word for word. Not long act) he tried the ex periment with a part he hadn't played for twenty years and found himself perfect in it."—The Critic. The Turkish Tobacco Business. The tobacco factories of Cavalla are sorry places on a wum day. As many as 800 men and women may be seen huddled together in stifling atmosphere engaged in sorting the leavts which the country people bring in bündlet from the tobacco farms on the plains of Philippi. In the different factories as many as 4,000 are thus employed—4,000 of the dirtiest and most unwashed vagabonds of creation. I think the ignorance of those who indulge in tobacco concerning the process it has gone through is only to be compared to the bliss of those who enjoy a good dish of macaroni and who have never seen it manufactured at Naples.—Comhill Maga zine. A Permanent Discovery. "And so," said he bitterly, when he re alized that she had rejected him, "and so you have been flirting heartlessly with me ail the while. Well, thank Heaven, I have found you out at last!" "Yes," sho replied, "yon have; and what is more, I think yon will always find me out hereafter when you call."—Somer ville Journal.