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Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, March 28, 1889, Image 1

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Volume xxiii
Helena, Montana, Thursday, March 28, 1889
No. 18
<f ll.f ÏLIcehlii ^(jcraltl.
R. E. FISK D. W. FISK ». J. FISK.
Publishers and Proprietors.
Largest Circulation of any Paper in Montana
-o
Rates ol Subscription.
WEEKLY °HERALD :
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gtx Months, Un advance)............................... 1 75
Three Months, (in advance)........................... 1 00
When not paid for In advance the ra»« will be
Four Dollar» per yeari
Postage, In all cases, Prepalo.
DAILY HERALD:
(My Subscribers,delivered by carrier SI.00a month
One Year, by mall, (In advance)................. $9 00
HI* Months, by mail, (in advance)............... 5 00
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If not paid In advance, S12 per annum.
Filtered at the PostoQice at Helena as second
class matter.]
00 - a 1 communications should be addressed to
FISK BROS., Publishers,
Helena, Montana.
NAPOLEON WITH A PIGTAIL.
ling You Explains Some Mysteries of
Modern Hanking.
The flight of Sing You, the late esteemed
«shier of See Son & Co., Chinese bankers in
Chicago, with $15,000 belonging to depositors,
sxeited all Chinadom. The news that Sing
You had appeared in the boodlers' colony in
Montreal excited Chinadom more. The re
ceipt of the following letter yesterday by a
brother Celestial in Mott street, this city,
gave Chinadom a positive thriU.
Mo.vtleal, Febbelaly two tlee.
To Wun Lung, Mott stleet, New Yorkee,
from Sing You:
Whoopee I Me, alio samee Melican man,
gettee on tlain, come Canada, cop no catchee,
keepee cash, gettee dlunk, singee song, laise
hellee, allee samee boodlees, all samee Eno,
aUe samee Mandelbaum, alle samee Plado
(Peek-a-Boo synopsee, plagee 3), no comee
back allee samee Henly Ives, heap foolee.
You tellee me you no sabbee makee money.
Me tellee you. You catchee place in bankee,
allee samee plesident, keepee books, keepee
cash, pay intlest. Heap fine bankee, heap One
safee, heap big sign. Plenty heap Chinaman,
he come.
Hop Ah Kin, become, be say: "Mistah
Bankee Plesident, me catchee some money
washy-washy, maybe tlee hundled dollah.
You keepee him fob me?"
You say him: "Allee light, me keepee
him." You takee money. You givee le
ceipt.
Wing Choo, he come, he say: "Mistah
Bakee Plesident, me catchee lilly money."
You say him: "How you gettun. ?"
He say: "Mo catchee butts in guttee, make
heap fine cigalettes."
You say hun: "How muchee money you
gottee?"
Ho say you: "Mee gottee sebbenty dollah."
You say him: "Allee light, me sock him in
safee, pay you intlest."
Meen Fun, he come, he say you : "Mistah
Blanknh, me have heap fat wad, you keepee
him fob me?"
You say him: "How fat?"
He say you: "Wad belly fat—more steen
hundled dollah."
You say him: "Me plenty keepeo him in
safee, heap pay intlest, you go catchee some
more."
Allee Chinaman they come, puttee wad,
puttee boodle, puttee sponduiix in safee. You
catchee bimeby more fifty tousand dollah,
makee you heap glad. Bimeby Chinaman
he come, he say : "Maybe you give me wad,
me go back China." You say him: "Allee
.'ightee; comes tomollah, fo' clockee. " Notha'
Chinaman he comee, he sayee: "Plaps you
payee me my boodle, me go San Flancisco."
You say him: "Allee light; fo' clockee to
mollah." Notha' Chinaman, he come, he say:
"Me allee bloke up; must pay tlee hundled
dollah; me wantee my scads." You say:
"Allee lighteo; come tomollah, fo' clockee."
Notha' Chinaman he come, lie say: "My
blotha' he gettee allested ; me wantee six
hundled dollah go baillee." You say: "Allee
light ; fo' clockee tomollah. " Allee Chinaman
wantee money outee, none puttee money in.
Allee samee you smile likeo Henly Ives, you
Bay• "Comee tornallah fo' clock." You closee
door, pullee down blind, open safee, takee out
money, puttee him in glippee sack, catchee
lailload ticket foh expless foh Montleal,
whoopee, dam sudden.
Fo' clock to-mollah he come, allee China
man comee bank. Bankee heap closed. China
man bustee in, bustee in safee, allee money
Leap gone. Chinaman lush down teleglapb
office and teleglaph:
: New Yorkee, Feb. 20. :
: To Wun Lung, ;
: Plesident Bankee, ;
: Montleal: ;
: You comee back heap quickee. Pay money. :
: Deplositors. :
: 7. Taid 50.
You leadee him. You smilee. You go
teleglaph office* you teleglaph :
: Montleal, Feblaly toot oo. :
. To Deplositors Chinaman Bank, ;
: Mott stleet, New Yorkee: {
: Lats! Î
; 1. Collect 50. Won Lnra. :
You go back hotellee, you smilee, you
catchee fine dinnah, loast beefee, maecaloni,
filed lice, lobins, las belly puddin. You eatee
heap, you smilee, you gettee dlunk allee time,
allee same Melican man, whoop! heap fun I
Tla-la!— New York World. Sing You.
An Ilonest Woman.
"I see you are advertising fine creamery
butter at thirty cents," said an old woman
who entered a Michigan avenue grocery yes
terday. "Is it butter or is it oleomargarine?"
"It's butter, madame, and the very best,"
said the grt'cer.
"Sure it ain't oleomargarine?"
"Perfectly so. I'll warrant it."
The woman turned to go, when the grocer
asked :
"Won t you try a few pounds?"
"No, I don't want none. I want some oleo
margari..,.
"I have that, too," said the dealer, "put up
in boxes and labeled."
"How much is that a pound f'
"Eighteen cents."
"That won't do. I want to pay just as
much for it as butter Is worth. "
"You can do that if you want to; 1 ain't
savin' a word, am I?" said the man. "But
why do you want to?"
"Well, you see, I've been givin' my board
ers the liest butter, an' they guy me an' call
it oleo. I vow it's butter, an' they won't
believe me. Now I want to get some oleo
an' tell 'em what it is. They'll think I lie
an' eat it for butter. But I don't want to
make a cent out of it I'm an honest woman. "
—Detroit Free Press.
m
1
www rv 4v-i
«RB
ALBERT G. PORTER.
An Indiana Ex-Governor for Minister
to Italy.
Albert G. Porter, who has been nomi
nated and confirmed minister to Italy, is
one of the closest personal friends of Gen.
Harrison, in whose behalf for the presided
tial nomination he led the Indiana delega
tion at Chicago. Mr. Porter is a native
Hoosier, born at Lawrenceburg, Dearborn
county, Indiana, on April 20, 1824. He is
a graduate of Ashbury university, which
he left in the year 1843. In 1845 he was
Admitted to the bar. He opened an office
at Indianapolis, and had not practiced long
when he was appointed reporter of the de
cisions of the supreme court. He published
five volumes of reports while holding this
office, which preceded his service for two
terms as city attorney of Indianapolis.
Twice alter the expiration of these he was
elected a member of the city council. In
1858 he was elected a representative to the
Thirty-sixth Congress. He served also in
the Thirty-seventh Congress. In 1878 he
was appointed first comptroller of the
United States treasury. Two years after,
while holding the office, he was nominated
for governor of Indiana, and elected. Mr.
Porter served until 1885. He afterwards
began to collect materials for an exhaustive
history of Indiana, and was busy with these
until the time when, at the call of his
party, he left all to work for the nomina
tion of Harrison, and afterwards for his
election.
Japanese Wrestlers a Distinct Race.
,* To show what artificial ^selection can do
in the development of the physical man,
look at the wrestlers of Japan, who form a
caste by themselves, and, of course, marry
among themselves. It is bat two cen
turies or a little more since their caste was
originally created by an order from a ty
coon of sporting proclivities, and now the
men, belonging to a race of small stature,
average a foot taller than their ordinary
compatriots. You may see them blocks
away in a crowd on the streets of any Japa
nese city, towering as they do head and
shoulders above the multitude.
vm-ViVi
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(W
mm
GEORGE C. TICHENOR,
Second Assistant Secretary of the
Treasury.
George C. Tichenor, of Chicago, was born
in Spencer county, Kentucky, in 1838. His
parents removed to Indiana, and he waa
educated in the public schools of Terre
Hante. After leaving school Mr. Tichenor
learned the trade of bouse and sign painter.
In his nineteenth year he went to Des
Moines, Iowa, and here engaged in various
occupations. He was appointed clerk of
the United States District Court at the age
oiÇîl years. In 1861 he enlistedin i ho army
as a private, and in February, 1865, Presi
dent Lincoln appointed him aide-de-camp
in the volunteer service, with the rank of
Major, for gallant and meritorious conduct
exhibited during the war. He was mas
tered out in January, 1866. Mr. Tichenor
returned to his home in Des Moines and
engaged in the lnmber business. He was
appointed postmaster of that city in 1867,
and «appointed by President Grant in
1871, but resigned the next year. Mr.
Tichenor served as Chairman of the Re
publican State Committee lor fonr years.
He removed to Chicago and started in
business there as a grain and provison com
mission merchant. In 1878 be was ap
pointed a special agent in the Treasury De
partment by Secretary Sherman and re
mained on duty nntil November of that
year, when he was ordered to Philadelphia.
He afterward served as special agent at
New York and Boston. In 1880 he was as
signed as special agent at large for the
United States. Secretary Windom sent
him abroad in 1881 to act as special agent
for the Treasury Department in Enrope.
He remained in that service until Novem
ber, 1884. From that time until Jane,
18813, he was engaged in customs investi
gations in New York. Beginning in Jane,
1885. nntil the present time, while his as
signment had been that of an agent of the
United States at large, Mr. Tichenor has
been on dnty at all times at the Depart
ment in Washington.
MR. AND MRS. BOWiER.
Kn. B. Talks About Her Husb inil's Pro
gressive Euchre Party.
Mr. û)wser suddenly looked up from his
paper the other evening and asked:
"Why is it that we haven't given a pro
gressive eueLre party this winter T'
"They have been voted too much trouble,"
I replied.
"Well, Mrs. Bowser, I shall give a progres
sive euchre party next week, Wednesday
•veiling. If you'll see to the refreshments
ni see to the people."
"I'll be glad to, of course, but"
"But what?"
• "You must prepare yourself for disappoint
ments."
"Oh, I must! How kind of you to give me
warning! Mrs. Bowser, I don't want to
seem vain or egotistical, but m invite thirty
six people here on that night, and for every
one who fails to come I'll give you a $20 bilL"
"You are kind—very kind. I hope the
party will be a great success. You can begin
at once."
When he came home next night he had a
list of eighteen couples who had been invited
and solemnly promised to come.
"Voted too much trouble—can't get people
enough I" sneered Mr. Bowser, as he looked
ever the list. "It's in the management, Mrs.
Bowser—all in the management."
For three days he walked around on tip toe
and took every occasion to brag over me.
Then came the first set back. We were at
dinner when the telephone rang and Mr.
Bowser was asked for.
"Hello! Bowser I"
"Yes."
"This is Filbert."
"Yes."
"I wanted to tell you that we can't come
down to the party."
"You can't!"
"No. My wife has just remembered that
she agreed to go over to Johnson's on that
night. Sorry, old fellow, but I hope"
Mr. Bowser shut him off with a loud bang
and turned to me and said:
"Mrs. Bowser, don't you never darken Fil
bert's doors again—never! They are liars
and dangerous people. I can fill their places
in five minutes."
Before he got out of the house there was
another ring.
"Hello! Bowser!"
"Yes."
"This is Watkins."
"Yes."
"When I told you the other day we'd be
dowu Wednesday evening I forgot that our
Eva was to have a child's party on the same
evening. That knocks us out."
"And you can't come?"
"Of course not. Sorry to disappoint you,
old fellow, but of course"
"Watkins is a liar, Mrs. Bowser—a first
class, bold faced liar I" excl aim ed Mr. Bowser,
"and you want to cut the whole family as
dead os a door nail!"
He went off saying he could get two million
oouples to take their places, and he returned
at evening just as the following note came by
the hands of a messenger boy:
"Mr. and Mrs. Jackson present their com
pliments, and regret that the death of an
uncle in China will prevent them from being
present on Wednesday evening."
Mr. Bowser had begun to turn white when
the telephone rang.
"Hello! Bowserl"
"Yes."
"Say, old man, this is a world of change,
you know. When I told you we'd come down
to that party I never thought about my sis
ter. She's to bo married that same evening.
Tra-la, old boy, hope you'll have a good
time."
"I told you it would be hard work to get so
many people out," I remarked.
"Did you, Mrs. Bowser? How kind of youl
But I'll show you and these liars and de
ceivers a thing or two before I get through."
There were no more declinations until
Wednesday morning. Then Mr. Bowser was
called up by telephone.
"That you, Bowser?"
"Yes."
"Is it to-night you have that party?"
"Yes."
"Pshaw ! I thought it was a week from to
night! Weil, that knocks us out. We've got
to go to the Y. M. C. A. Sorry, you know,
but this is a previous engagement. "
Mr. Bowser was jumping up and down
when there came another ring:
"Hello! Bowser!"
"Yes."
"Nice weather."
"Yes."
"All well down there!"
"Yes."
"Say, Bowser, my wife made a previous
engagement for to-night. We've got to go
to"
Mr. Bowser shut him off with a bang and
started for the office. During the forenoon 1
took in two more declinations, and while he
was at dinner there was a ring and the old
f amiliar hail:
"Hello! Bowser!"
"Yes."
"Say, Bowserl"
"Yes."
"We expect to be down early to-night"
"Glad of it."
"But it may be that my mother-in-law will
come in ou the 6:30 tr ain. If she does we
can't come."
Mr. Bowser seemed dazed as he hung up the
trumpet and left the house. The last blow
came at 7 in the evening. The telephone rang
and he crawled over to answer.
"Is this Bowser's?"
"Yes."
""Where's the old man?"
"I am Mr. Bowser."
"Oh ! so you are. Y our voice seems mighty
weak to-night. Say, old man, the three
couples of us in this terrace were coming
down to-night, but we must disappoint you at
this late moment. We have had free tickets
Bent up for the opera, and of course"
Mr. Bowser walked to the front door,
locked it, muffled the bell and turned out the
gas. Then ho sat down and was very quiet
for a couple of hours. At last he looked up
and said:
"Mrs. Bowser, some husbands would mur
der a wife for this!"
"But what have I doner'
"What have you done! Coaxed, bribed
and bulldozed mo into giving a progressive
euchre party, and where's the party ? I u>ld
you how it would come out, and here we
are! Mrs. Bowser, I—I"
But he was too full for further utterance
and went to bed.—Detroit Free Press.
Cause Enough.
De Ponsby— Saw you talking to Smythe.
What's the matter with the fellow? He looks
deucedly miserabla
Rigley (who has an old grudge to pay off)
—Yes, he says he lent you $10.—Burlington
Aaa Prosa.
'M
life
l. vf
JOHN A. ENANDER.
The Newly Appointed Minister to
Denmark.
The choice of John A. Enander, a Swed
ish gentleman of Chicago, as Minister Resi
dent and Consul-General at Copenhagen,
pleases the Scandinavians settled in the
West and Northwest. Mr. Enander was
born in Sweden in the year 1842. About
twenty years ago he came to this conntry
and made his home in Chicago. There he
became the editor and proprietor of the
Scandinavian , a weekly jonrnal published
in the interests of his conntrymen in Amer
ica, and for several years he has been one
of the best known Swedes on the Conti
nent. Mr. Enander has never held public
office. His salary as Minister will be five
thousand dollars a year. Both of the Illi
nois Senators favored the appointment
given him by President Harrison.
EUGENE SCHUYLER.
Appointed but Declined the Office of
Assistant Secretary of State.
Eogene Schuyler, of New Yoik, who
was recently nominated for Assistant Sec
retary of State, bat whose name was yes
terday withdrawn from the Senate, was
born at Ithaca, in 1840, and graduated at
Yale in 1859. While pursuing his post
graduate studies with two scholarships
that he had earned he attended a law
school and assisted President Parker in
his revision of "Webster's Dictionary."
Later he studied law at Colombia College
and in an office. He practiced subsequent
ly bnt gave more attention to literatnre
than to the law, and his contributions to
periodicals were Irequent. Hejstudied the
Russian language, and in 1866 he was made
Consul to Moscow. In 1869 he became
Secretary of Legation at St. Petersburg,
and in 1875 he was transferred to Constan
tinople as Consul-General and Secretary of
Legation. Mr. Schuyler was appointed
Consul at Birmingham in 1878, and in 1879
he was made Consul-General at Rome. Ib
1880 he was appointed Charge d' Affaires
and CoDSul-Generalat Bucharest, and when
the mission was established there he was
made Minister-Resident. Since 1882 he
has been traveling in Europe. Among his
published works are "American Diploma
cy," and a "Life of Peter the Great." Mr.
Schuyler was married in Julj, 1877, in
Paris, to Miss Gertrade King, whose father
was some time President of Colombia Col
lege. __
HIS GIRLS SAVED HIM.
Two Pretty Little Children Plead for
Mercy for their Father.
[Chicago Mail.]]
"He's a good papa. He Dever whips us.
And be is good to mamma, too."
This was how a little fair-haired girl of
11 pleaded for John Drammond, her
drunken father, in the Armory Police Court
to-day.
"Don't send papa to prison, Mr. Jndge,"
and the child of the delendant sobbed; "He
doesn't get drank very much."
The pictare presented by the two pretty
little ones with the tsars streaming down
their cheeks asking pardon for tbeir unfor
tunate parent was very affecting. The
father himself was moved, and he looked
thoroughly ashamed of himself.
"Yon are sure he is a good father ?" said
Justice Lyon.
"Oh, yes; he is a good papa," chorused
the children.
It «ai not the first time Drammond had
been been arrested for drankennesse. He
is a shoemaker and a good workman, bnt
be conld not overcome his desire for drink.
This was the first time his little girls bad
been at tbe police conit and tbeir presence
made him feel very UDcomfoitable, bnt at
tbe same time he saw how his little daugh
ters loved him.
"You will never see me here again," the
man said. "I will take tbe pledge right
now, and then yon can fine me.
"I ought to send yon to the bridewell,"
tbe magistrate said, "for disgracing yonr
family this way "
"Oh, no, Mr. Jndge, don't send papa to
prison. We will take him home," cried the
younger girl, as she threw her arms aronnd
her father, as if to protect him.
"Never mind, little one," Justice Lyon
said. "I will let your papa go this time,
but he may thank you little children for
his discharge."
Before the man left the prisoners' dock
he swore that he would not touch a drop of
intoxicating liqocr tor one year.
There were not two happier children in
Chicago than the little Drammond girls
when they foond that their papa was frees
The trio left the court room band-in-band
BILL NYE'S WOES.
Some of the Chambermaids One Meets on
the Road.
I had a very trying experience last week.
It was painful, but not fatal I had been
traveling all the nf^ht before, and fatigue
and brain fag were together fighting for my
very existence. I got a room when I arrived
and retired to seek much needed rest. I had
just retired, in fact, having carefully locked
the door and left the key in the lock that the
curious could not look In through the keyhole
and see me as I lay there asleep and make a
$5,000 painting of me.
Just then there was a slight rattle at the
door, such as you hear when a chambermaid
attacks it with a pass key and comes in the
room to sweep holes in the carpet and fill
your lungs full of debris. I smiled to myself,
for my own key was in the door, and Ï said
softly, as I bathed my blushing features in
the pillow; "Aha! aha! ye cannot enter
now. " But she continued to rattle away with
her key, and I soon saw, with horror, that
my own was beginning to lose its grip, and
finally it fell to the floor with a loud report,
having been pushed out of the lock from the
other side.
I can hardly describe the horror of my sit
uation. I thought of handing my handker
chiefs and perfumery over the transom to
her, and begging her, if she had a mother or
any other relatives in whom she bad any con
fidence whatever, to go away. I thought of
going to the door and telling her that we had
better go through life as nearly as possible by
separate routes, and that I needed rest really
more than I did society, but I did not dare to
get out of bed for fear the door would open,
and I was wise, for it did now burst open, as
I had feared, and a tall girl in the prime of
life, with flashing eye and distended nostril,
came into the room. With a wild shriek I
covered my head with the bedclothes, shud
dering till my teeth, which were in a tumbler
of water near by, chattered together.
"Go away, you hateful thing," I said, "and
never, never come back again any more."
"But I want to change them sheets," she
said.
"Go away," I said again. "Even your
voice is hateful in my sight. Take my beau
tiful Seth Thomas silver watch if you will,
but, oh! go away, and heaven will reward
you even better than that."
She then slunk from the room, but it was a
long time before I could go to sleep. Even
then my dreams were troubled and my mind
filled with apprehension. I thought I was
being pursued by a red eyed unicorn with a
navy blue stomach and a Chinese lantern
tied to his tail. I tried to shako him off, but
I could not. He led me down into the in
fernal regions, and insisted on showing me
the iron bridge and the high school, and
sj>oke of the great progress of the place, and
said that they were likely to get a new and
competing road in there this summer; and
ho showed me the library and walked me out
to the fair grounds and down on the lake
shore, so that I could take a sulphur bath,
ami spoke of the desirability of the climate
for people with bronchial affections, and
wanted me to speak of it in my letters to the
press, and said he would pav me well for it.
Just then I heard a knock on my door. I
was so glad to have anybody knock, instead
of picking the lock, that I asked: "Who's
there?'' A rich, manly voice replied, "Me."
I was glad to hear the welcome voice of
one of my own sex, and so 1 undid the door
for the gentleman with great alacrity. Just
as I was bounding lightly back towards my
couch with a merry laugh, the party strolled
Into the middle of the room bearing a small
but rare collection of clammy, mucilaginous
towels. She was a heavy set chambermaid
with terror cotter hair and a bass voice.
I de not complain. I do not murmur. I do
not repine. But I say that a chambermaid
ought not to do that way. A chambermaid
who has a bass voice ought to seek out some
other calling. She may put a guest's slippers
80 far under the bed that ho cannot get them
without calling out the hook and ladder com
pany. She may weep over his letters from
his wife, or drown her sorrows in his bay
nun, but she ought not to take a bass voice
into a hotel and ox pec t to escape criticism.
Mayor Weston, now of Grand Rapids, be
fore he b came wealthy was a newspaper
man in Denver and used to stop at the old
Planters' hotel. He had a mining deal to
write up for the paper, and connected with
the deal was a Georgetown superintendent
whom we will address as Julius II. Cavvyo.
Mr. Cavvyo was to furnish tho particulars to
Mr. Weston, but early in the day he began to
meet old acquaintances and to cement their
friendship by means of a powerful solution
known as embalming fluid.
So, at 11 o'clock, Mr. Weston put Julius
H. Cavvyo to rest on his own little bed at the
Planters' and went out to prosecute his re
searches in relation to the Hold Up Mining
and Improvement company. The old Plant
ars' hotel was not exactly like the Hoffman
house or the Gilsey house. You could tell
the difference almost as soon as you sat down
at the table. If you spoke to the waiter
about the tenacity of tho steak or the longev
ity of the butter, he would you a tart reply,
and you would have to get along with that
for dessert. One man murmured about the
steak and said it was too tough, so therefore
he would not eat it.
"You won't eat it?" calmly replied the
loose jointed waiter. "You say you won't
eat it?"
"I say so because I can't cut it. No man
can cut that steak. You can't cut it with
acids. So I won't it."
"Well, you will eat it," said the waiter,
reaching around as if in the act of adjusting
his bustle. "You will eat it or I'll wear it
out on you !"
He ate it.
But among other things there was a big
alarm bell in the tower of the Planters',
which was wont to ring for fires, funerals and
other entertainments. The rope hung in the
hall and when the help of the populace was
required in order to suppress a fire or a riot,
the first man to the bell rope saluted the
snowy summits of the Rocky mountains with
this wild alarm.
While Mr. Weston was getting his infor
mation on the streets, tho great bell awoke
the echoes in the fastnesses of the canyons
twenty miles away, and the excited populace
swarmed to the Planters' to learn what great
calamity had befallen the new city. Mr.
Weston got there at last, and, out of breath,
rushed up to his room. In the hall he found
Julius H. Cavvyo ringing the bell. His sus
penders were draped and soapsuds were drip
ping from his chin and the tip of his Vene
tian red nose.
"What has happened?" panted Weston.
"What are you ringing that bell for, Julius?"
"Well, wha: do you s'pose I'm ringing the
bell for? I am ringing for a clean towel or a
funeral. If I get the towel there will bo no
funeral, but if I fail, you just wait here a
min ute and I'll give you the first view of the
corpse for your bright and racy paper."—Bill
Nye in New York World.
I
ELLIOTT F. SHEPARD.
A Wealthy New Yorker, Editor of the
Mail-Express.
The portrait is of Elliott F. Shepard, of
the Empire City, proprietor of the flourish
ing evening Republican paper, tbe Mail and
Express. He spends a great deal of money
on his publication, and has features all- its
own, including a daily text from the Bible
at the head of its editorial columns. Mr.
Shepard was one of the most earnest work
ers of his State for the success of the Re
publican national ticket during the late
campaign, and since, on tbe occasion of
business visits to New York, has hospitably
entertained our townsman. R. B. Harrison,
at bis sumptuous borne. From this gentle
man Mr. Harrison is said to have received
material assistance in the organization of
his newspaper company, aDd in lannching
the Journal (successor to the Record ) free
from the depressing embarrassments of
both.
Mr. Shepard was born at Jamestown,
Cbatanqua county, N. Y., July 25. 1833.
When 22 years old he was graduated from
tbe New York University, and in 1858 his
name was added to the roll of attorneys of
his native State. Mr. Shepard's father was
a rich man, president of the National Bank
Note company, one of three companies
which, after his death, were merged into
one, called the American Bank Note com
pany, in which the Shepard family is con
spicuonslv represented. Tbe subject of
this sketch has led the pleasant life of a
man of opulent means, public spirited, fond
of literary work, a fluent speaker and a
philanthropist. He is a lawyer, bnt has
never pursued his professional work with
the energy of men less favored of fortune.
He travels considerably at frequent
periods, and owns one of the most elegant
private cars that ever traversed tbe rail
ways of this conntry. In this palace on
wheels he journeyed to the Chicago con
vention, accompanied by reporters of his
paper and a few select friends.
Mr. Shepard is somewhat larger than the
average man, and he is a person of genial
presence and bearing. The social side of
diplomacy, as in other respects, would be
worthily supported by Mr. Shepard should
the President appoint him to a mission
abroad.
-205^^5 /v X s "
CYRUS BUSSEY,
Assistant Secretary of the Interior.
Cyras Bussey was born in Hnbbard,
Trumbull Æunty, Ohio, on October 5, 1833.
His father was a Methodist minister. He
began business life at Dnpont, Indians, and
started on his own account at 16 years of
age. In 1858 be was elected to tbe Indiana
Legislature as a Democrat, and in 1859 was
elected a delegate to tbe Baltimore Con
vention that nominated Stephen A. Douglas
for President. At the outbreak of the war
be was appointed by GovernorKirkwood, of
Iowa, to the command nf the militia in the
southwestern part of the Stale, with the
rank of Lieutenant Colonel. He gained
promotion by bard service and was made
Brigadier General of Volunteers on Jan
uary 5,1864, for "specialgallantry." Shortly
afterward he was given command of West
ern Arkansas and Indian Territory, with
the Third Division of the Seventh Corps.
He was made a brevet Major General of
Volunteers on March 13, 1865, aod was
mastered oat on Angnst 24, 1865. Mr.
But-sey resumed business as a commission
merchant, first in St. Loots and then in
New Orleaxs. He was a delegate to the
Republican National Convention in 1868,
was for six years President of the New
Orleans Chamber of Commerce and was
chairman of a committee of that body
which obtained from Congress the appro
priation for the Eads jetties. In 1881 he
engaged in business in New York City. Ha
took an active part in the canvass for Mr.
Blaine, and spoke almost every night in
he campaign of last year.
In Memory of Matthews.
New Yobk, March 22.— On hearing of
the death of Justice Matthews, Mayor
Grant ordered the National, State and
Municipal flags to be hoisted at half mast
over the City Hall ont of respect to the
memory of the distingnished jurist.
WARNING TO YOUNG MEN.
The Sad Case of Lover with a Hole in HI*
Pocket.
Jenkinson Wipedunks would not have ex
changed situations with tho president of the
United States, the Prince of Wales or the
drum major of a brass band.
Felisty McGinnis had answered "yes" in a
voice as soft and gentle as the sigh of music
in a dreamless sleep or the murmuring wail
of a caressing breeze from lethean waters
soothingly fanning the whiskers of Father
Time.
"Felisty," he exclaimed rapturously, as his
left hand and arm disappeared from sight
with a rapid yet sneaking motion toward the
back of the sofa on which they sat, and the
fingers of his right hand appeared to be feel
ing for something in his vest pocket, "you
have made me the happiest man in the
world."
The timid, upturned glance of her liquid,
dark eyes and the warm blush that over
spread the happy face of the lovely girl re
plied more eloquently than words could have
done.
"And you will forgive my presumption,
darling," he continued, "if in anticipation of
your answer I have ventured to provide my
self with—with—a—with—a"
Jenkinso i paused in some apparent excite
ment, ami ais linger and thumb nervously
explored his vest pocket without seeming to
find anything.
"I—I must have lost it!" he gasped "Fe
listy, it was a ring! Ha! Perhaps it is in
some other pocket."
Rising to his feet he thrust a trembling
hand into his trousers pocket.
There was a hole in that pocket.
"Jenkinson," said Felisty, as she noted
with concern his ghastly face, on which the
light of a desperate resolve was breaking,
"don't grieve over it. It will turn up. You
are excited. Is there anything I can do
to"
"Yes," exclaimed Jenkinson in a hollow
voice. "Felisty, I think I know where that
ring is. If you would do me a favor I shall
never forget until the last hour of my life,
for the love of heaven go and get me a boot
jack and leave me to myself for a few mo
ments."—Chicago Tribune.
One of Lincoln's Stories.
"I remember the last timt I ever heard
Lincoln converse," said Gen. Porter. "W*
were discussing the subject of England's as
sistance to the south, and how, after the col
lapse of the confederacy, England wou'd find
that she had done the south not much good
and herself much harm.
" 'That reminds me,' said Mr. Lincoln, 'of
a barber in Sangamon county. A man wok#
him up one night and said he must get
suaved ; that he was going to a ball and h*
had a few days' beard on his faeo which
must come off. Well, tho barber lathered
his face and his nose and ears and slapped
some of it in his mouth, and stropped the
razor on his boot. Then he mowed over ona
side of his face and shaved off two or three
pimples and a wart or two. And tho man in
the chair—e common low backed chair which
nearly dislocated his neck—said, "You pro
pose to make everything ievel as you got,
don't you?" "Yes," replied tho barber; "if
the handle of this razor don't break I'll get
away with what there is there." [Laughter.}
" 'The man's cheeks were so hollow that th»
barber couldn't get down into all the valleys.
But he had a bright idea. He stuck his finger
into the fellow's mouth and pressed out the
wrinkles so as to level them. And so h»
mowed away with the razor until finally h»
cut right through the man's cheek and cut
his own finger.
" 'There, you lantern jawed cuss, you hav®
made me cut my finger !' exclaimed the bar
ber as he shook off the blood." [Laughter.}—
From a Recent Speech of Gen. Porter.
The Arizona Kicker.
Molehill vs. Mountain.— There is a dis
position on the part of a few mudsills to'
magnify the little incident which occurred at
the postoffice last Tuesday evening. Last
week we referred to Col Crocker as a chief.
We were wrong. He was arrested in Illinois
for arson and jumped his bail. He met us
in the postoffice and knocked us down.
While down, we explained that we were is
error, and ho apologized and helped brush
the dirt off our clothes. That's all there was
to it—one of the trifling incidents of every
day life—and that class who ai e seeking to
exaggerate the facts will make nothing by it
When we call an incendiary a thief—a rob
ber an absconder—a bigamist an embezzler,
we shall apologize every time.—Detroit fYa*
Press.
Ho Needed a Little Booking Up.
V
i|[liL j
Unfortunate Skater—Help! Help!'
Party on Bank—Hold on I Hold on! I'll
run right home and get my book on "How to
Resuscitate the Drowned aud Relieve the
Frost Bitten."—Life.
An Innocent Joke.
Charles Theodore Russell was examining a
witness in a Cambridge court. The question
was about tho size of certain hoof prints left
by a horse in sandy soil
"How large were the prints?" asked the
learned counsel. "Were they as large as my
hand'" holding up his hand for the witness to
see.
"Oh, no," said the witness honestly. "It
was just nn ordinary hoof."
Then Mr. Russell had to suspend the exam
ination while everybody laughed.—Somer
ville Journal.
A Poet's Pay.
Friend—How long did it take you to writ©
this poem, "Ode to Darkness," Fred?
Poet—A day.
Friend—A whole day?
Poet—Yes; but I was well paid.
Friend—Were you? How much did yon
get?
Poet—A dollar.—Yankee Blade.
It is generally conceded that the coro
crop exceeded 2,000,000,000 bushels.

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