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Fall Goods Arriving
AND WE MUST HAVE ROOn, Next 30 Days We Will Make REDUCED PRICES on All Summer Stock. ÏIND if you want some genuine bargains come and see us. The prices we make are boni-fide and not goods marked up for the purpose of mark ing down. These special prices will apply to all Summer Goods, Shirt Waists, Skirts and Hats, Men's Shirts and Underwear, Straw Hats, and, in fact all goods that are strictly summer weight. McMurry, Cooper & Grill. Ipwwvwwwvwwwwwww Hamiiton-Darby-Springs U. S. MAIL AND STAGE LINE. Stage leaves Hamilton, 8:15 a. m. " arrives Darby, - 12 m. " leaves Darby, - 2 p. m. arrives Hamilton,5:30 p. m, Stage leaves Darby at 1 p. m. for all points south, making Medicine Springs and Ross Hole on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. J. A. WILKERSON, Proprietor. BINDING TWINE \ 5,000 POUNDS. 1 Best Quality Binding Twine for Sale at gj ß 13 l-2c Per Pound. |j I G. W. DOUGHERTY, 1 *§ Corvallis, ... Hontana, Sj Persuasion. It Needs No Persuasion to Sell Shoes that have good values sticking out all over them. ^ & ERICA $2'!hoes Look like a dollar more in any light or any position. The style and leather are just like more expensive shoes, and we stand back of the wear. This store is noted for good shoe values. This shoe is partly responsible for it. If you don't mind saving a dollar look at the Erica. I have a lot of MEN'S SHOES—BOX CALF AND VELOUR CALF. THE PRICE OF THOSE ARE $4.50 AND I WILL SELL -THEM AT $2.75 AND $3.00 A PAIR. - Also a big lot of Men's Gloves, KLfa! Cost Price. Bijou Shoo Store, Subu^nomu^ A. G. BEAUBIEN, Proprietor. A NEW ENTERPRISE. BY MAX AhELBR. "If you only had a little capital to invest," •aid the young man, as he touk a chair and sat down dose to my desk, ''I might put you in the way of a good thing." "Mine?" "Oh, no. It's a petrifaction company; the Columbia Petrifaction company, of Clarion county. 1 could spare you 100 shares." | "What does the Company do?" "Why, you know, it owns a limestone spring up here in Clarion county. That spring used to belong to a man named Herkimer Jones. One day, when his well ran dry, j Jones went oft and brought a bucket of wa- ^ ter from that spring and the family drank j it. What was the consequence? Next morn ing when the neighbors called, Herkimer Jones was sitting at the supper table turned to solid stone. He had half of a sausage in . his mouth; that was turned to stone, too. I So was Mrs. Jones, and Ellen P. Jones, and Herkimer Jones, Jr., and the baby. The ' limestone water did it. The heirs dosed the . whole lot out to a sculptor named Ferguson, j who arranged them in a group and sold them j to the British museum as models from the I antique. That is, excepting the baby. He ! put plaster paris wings on the baby and | passed him off as an original design of a Cupid." I "What about the company?" j "Well, you see, the company at once bought up the spring property and they in tend to go into the petrifying business upon a large scale. For example, s'pose'n you get a contract from congress to execute an equestrian statue of Gen. Washington. First you find a horse; you make that horse drink at the spring, and there he is! Perfectly splendid! Then you find a man wiio bears a sort of general resemblance to Washing ton. You arrange a picnic; get that man up there in the woods; offer him a drink; and in 11 minutes you can chip spalls off of him with a stone-chisel. Then you mount your man on yonr horse, and there you have a group of statuary such as Greece in her palmiest days would have given her bottom dollar to get." "I see." "The company, you know, purposes to have the country poorhonse located near to tlie spring; and as the president of the board of trustees owns 60 shares, we calculate to solidify paupers right along, without inter mission, say 20 or 30 a day. Don't you see what a magnificent prospect it open* up for high art in America? We can fill any order. Say you want a statue of Gen. Jackson, ai\d the only available pauper is too fat. What do we do? We petrify him, and then we chip him down and touch up his counte nance, maybe, with a chisel. Suppose you want a pair of saints to work into the front door to a church. We select a couple of venerable vagrants, harden them, turn their noses down, to give them dignity of expres sion, and the bricklayers then can build them right into the door jambs." "Suppose the demand for that kind of statuary be small?" "Then we come down to a basis of utility at once. S'posin' there's a pauper with in flammatory rheumatism in his leg? We pet rify him.. We sell him to a doctor. That doctor cuts off the leg with a marble saw, and there he has that inflammatory rheu matism right before him turned into gran ite. S'posin' one of them lias a torpid liver? In two hours the doctors can examine that liver just as if it was a brickbat, with the torpidity sticking out all over it. Mind you, if the supply of paupers holds out, 1 venture to say that the day is not far distant when you can take petrified livers, and hearts, and muscles, and brain pans and build a two-story house with them, with all the modern conveniences, a mighty sight cheap er than you can build it out of common stone. Imagine living in a house made of ossified livers! Be unique, wouldn't it? It would attract attention. "I don't care for auch thing* myself, but—" "Gen. Bangs, he tried some curious experi ments with the water out of that spring. He threw a bucketful on a cat that was jump ing about on hi* back fence one night; and there she is now, fur up, tail elevated, moutl ojien, picturesque and natural as life! Nex night he soused another one; same effec of course; and now Gen. Bangs has 13 ex quisite statuettes of cats in various atti tudes of grace ranged around on his fence Ferguson, the sculptor, tol'd him he conkin'' have had those cats done in Carrara marbh in Europe under .$50,0(10. But, of course, yoi have to be careful when you have tiie Co lumbia water around. Gen. Bangs kept hi« in a barrel, and the other day his mother in-law filled a pitcher from it, accidentally, and took a drink. One hour later it took six men to carry her to the window so they could lower her to the pavement with a derrick. She weighed nearly a ton, and was so hard you couldn't crack her with a sledge hammer. The general was sorry, of course; and after he had her mounted on a revolving pedestal he kept her in his front parlor for a while, palming her off on his friends as an imported statue of Minerva. But, finally, as she excited unpleasant comments, he iiad her cut into slabs and put into his cemetery lot as tombstones. He had the gratifying reflection that she is near those who were dear to her. Let me tell you that if our company once gets to work, and paupers are plenty, a man who wants a variegated tombstone can get something that will please his taste at rates that will make the marble- , yard people sick." "It looks like a good thing, but I believe I don't care to go into it." ! "I'll tell you what I'll do. I'm a little pressed for money now, and if you'll buy 30 shares, you may take them at half price, and I'll petrify any of your relations you say for nothing. How's that?" "I have no relations that I want in that condition." "No aunt, or grandmother, or anything that would work up well into a table top, or a slab for a fixed waahatand?" "No." "And you're going to throw away thia chance of promoting aesthetic culture and of encouraging the love for the beautiful in your own country?" "I'm afraid so." The young man shook hia head and aighed, aa if he could hardly bear to thing of the de generacy of the times, and then he said: "Could you lend me a quarter, anyhow?" I lent it to him, and he went away with • solemn promise to repay it on the morrow. But he muet have gone to Europe to sell hi* •hare*, for h« never returned— N. Y. Weekly. _ Rsleelloms of a Bethels*. Women work itatiitic* juet they way they do dough. ... Money make* the mare go, but horse* make the money go. First young married couple* learn to quar rel and then not to. ^ It'» funny, but black-haired women want their hair to be red and gray-haired women want theira to be black. All that a man know* about mechanic» is of mighty little use to him when he trie* to put the furnace into commission for the winter— N. Y. Preaa. . | j ^ j . I ' . j j I ! | I j , ! FIRE AT JUGGERS. ! -- I BY TOM P. MORGAJV. Every night, just before retiring, old Jug ger leaned the ladder up against the house and placed a gallon pail of salt on a chair in his bedroom. These preparations were for the purpose of enabling Jugger to get the bulge upon the fire fiend at his next visit. Every now and then, for months, the chimney had a habit of burning out, and aa the roof often caught fire these events were the occasion of much excitement. Jugger had grown tired of reducing him self to the verge of emotional insanity in sealciiing for salt to pour down the chimney, trying to quiet his wife, who insisted upon indulging in hysterics, and in seeking the ladder that seemed to have concealed itself just when it was most needed. Usually, by the time he had charged all over the house and lot, colliding with all the furniture in the former and all the trees, shrubs, posts and clotheslines in the latter, the fire had burned out or been extinguished by the neighbors, and his wife had cried her self into the first cousin of a fit. Then the ladder would be found, serene and untrou bled, in the place where it always reposed, and the salt would grin at him from the bar rel in the pantry. But now Jugger could retire to his couch, happy in the .thought that, with the salt at hand and the ladder leaning against the eaves, he was ready for any emergency. For nearly a week peace brooded over the Jugger household. Then the chimney went 011 the rampage again. It was near midnight when Mrs. Jugger awoke her spouse by her energetic jab in the ribs and the thrilling announcement that she smelt smoke. Tlie fire could be heard roaring in the chim ney, and Jugger was sure that a conflagra tion would speedily ensue if he did not hasten to the scene of the danger accom panied by the salt, so he spirung out of bed, took one quick step and fell forward on his face, almost executing a dado on the floor with his nose. Till of late, Jugger had never worn a robe de-nuit, but had passed down the years, so to speak, night-shirtless and neglected. Mi s. .lugger remedied this awful state of affairs by presenting her husband, upon Ins last birthday, not long ago, with a brand new night shirt, five feet arid three inches long, forgetting that by all laws of precedent, Jugger's head ought to stick out of tiie top of tne garment. Upon rising in the abrupt fashion before mentioned, Jugger, forgetting the superflu ous length of the robe, stepped on the front of it and came down on his face, as stated, with a force that nearly drove his nasal protruberance back out of sight in his coun tenance. Springing to his feet and pulling his nose out to where it belonged, he grabbed the pail of salt and started toward the door. Tliis time, when the long robe tripped Jug ger it sent him headlong against the wall, with a force that almost shortened up his neck. When he finally escaped from tiie house it was by holding up the extraneous length of the garment. (Jut of doors and around the house he rushed, cracking his shins with the sharp corners of the salt pail at every other jump. As he came in sight of the flames, streaming like a flume of lire oui of tiie chimney top, his excitement caused him to drop the robe for an instant. He recognized his mistake when he found himself crawling out of the embraces of Mrs. Jugger's rare and exceed ingly thorny Mexican cacti, which were higuly successful as ornaments, but made a very poor couch. Jugger really ought to have possessed a third hand to assist him while he held onto the ladder and his life and the salt and his . night-riVlrt. He was not like' the dilatory gentleman of chestnut lore, who, in addition to his right and left hands, was provided with a little behind hand. He would have sunnpunted the steep roof with much more ease and less loss of cuticle if each of his hands and all of-the feet lie possessed, and the half-dozen more that he needed, had been armed with long, sharp claws, capable of being socked deep into the shingles. After Mr. Jugger had succeeded in climb ing up the steep roof at about the same rate of speed as that of the arithmetical frog that, in climbing out of the well, ascended two feet every day and fell back three feet every night, the neignbors were astounded at the vision that appeared on tiie ridge pole. They saw, by the light of the chim ney's torch, a figure that looked like a large cat in a long gown crawling along the apex of the roof Just as Jugger raised the pail in order to pour the salt down the chimney, his toe holds slipped at one side. Instead of going down the chimney the salt was poured down the roof, a white and gritty cascade. A mo ment later Jugger followed it. There was a frantic clutching and clawing, and a wild yell that nearly put out the tire, and the human toboggan went sliding down over the salty and splintery surface of tlie shin gles. The frantic manner in which a drowning man is supposed to clutch at straws would not have been a circumstance to the en thusiastic and unreserved manner in which Jugger endeavored to plant his claws upon or into something that would stay his prog rès*. His efforts were useless! Down he went ât a rate that made the salt sandpaper off the splinters that would otherwise have pro truded from his person and given him the appearance of a human pincushion. Had it not been for the presence and kind of fices of the salt, JuggJ.'s condition would have been a much more deplorable one, for, while a man with splinters sticking out all over him like pin-feathers may be very use ful as a human scratcher, he certainly can not be considered as ornamental. An Adon is stuck full of splinters must pull down his sign, and no man likes to think that his chances of winning in a beauty competition have gone wnere prohibition prohibits, and henceforth he can aspire to nothing better than being an animated toothpick-holder. Just as Jugger went over the edge of the roof the tail of his robe caught on a sturdy gutter-clamp. For a moment he hung like a large, wmte bat. There was the sound like that which ensues when the friendship of years is rent in twain from top to bot tom. The sturdy clamp, having got its full share of the garment, Jugger dropped, with a wail of anguish, into the very heart of Mrs. Jugger's other cactus bed. Then the fire went out, leaving a scratched and splintery wreck of humanity wrapped in the clinging embrace of the cacti from Mexico. There is a large void waiting to be filled by an invention that will lift a sufferer out of a cactus bed without raking all the thorns along the extent of his person until he is scratched clear from here to yonder. Now Jugger questions all visitors to learn if anybody has ever established a precedent by standing on his head to sleep, so that none of the scratches or slivers will be dis turbed. Jugger kill not wear his birthday present any more. He does not consider that a night shirt with all of the southwest quarter torn ont is exactly suited to his stjle ol beauty.—Good Literature. VyG CM 200-acre ranch, well improved, good 7-room house, ÖS other buildings, orchard, good fence, No. 1 water ri ri't............................................$4,500 S3 ■jg 80-acre ranch in intensive farming; all under eulti 5S vation, pays $1,G00 per year now, 700 fruit trees, §5 (§ good buildings—a beautiful home..........$6,300 j§ gg 52 acres of land 21 miles from Hamilton, good ^ soil and water, per acre.............................$50 am 2) 40 acres unimproved land G miles south of Ham ton, price................ ttonr i $300 & CÖ Rivei view Lots. § 3 lots, fenced, 31 bearing fruit trees, with orna- S\3 ^ mental and shade, good water, size 150x170, price S] P er 1( >t.............................................$200 9S I« 11 lots, 50x150, nicely located, per lot........$150 -room house, fruit and ornamental trees, good barn and drove well, size of land 170x300, or G <§£ [v double lots—a fine residence. yyj M 1 acre, fenced, small plastered house, chicken house, good water right—cheap. $450 §3 Fine resident lots of all prices and kinds in §2 Riverview. *»] !j fl. J. Allison=Reinkeh, Proprietor. I C. C. COULTER, Agent. 1 vs* vsz* •zs*' vk'v-3' v5^ • JOHN LAGcRQUIST. E. ERICKSON. LAGERQUIST & ERICKSON, Contractors and Builders. PLANS, SPECIFICATIONS AND ESTIMATES FUR NISHED ON SHORT NOTICE.—Satisfaction Guaranteed. Hamilton, Montana. ! I THE UNGUIDED BRIDEGROOM. Thera la Room for Inetrnetlona for Him on How to Look Prop erly Happy. A thoughtful young man of Wash ington was heard to decry the fact the other day that while there is a deluge of don't« and do's for the bride to fol low—how to enter the church, how to behave during the ceremony, what to wear, and so on—the bridegroom must shift for himself, says tlie 1'ost of that city. "There is absolutely nothing to guide a man but his own awkward self, and it isn't fair," he said. "From the time a girl is old enough to hear, she understands the importance of having things done properly at a wedding. While tlie prospective groom is some thing necessary to complete the pic ture, but a secondary consideration, and nothing short of inspiration can get a man through a marriage cere mony gracefully. "In order to impress the bride and spectators that he is enthusiastic about it, he appears with a sort of frozen grin on his face that you ex pect to melt at any moment and run down his collar. If he is too frightened to respond in a loud voice some of the bride's girl friends will whisper that he 'was unwilling from the first'— again, if he replies in a loud, stern voice, another bunch in another direc tion of the church will huddle together and express how glad they are that they are not marrying him, while the attitude of many is that they are sign ing away their life and all worth living for. Bo I think it about time," contin ued the thoughtful young man, "that somebody is writingafewhintsonhow to behave that we may appear enthus iastic about being married without be ing ridiculous and a target for thepeo ple to knock at." MADE DEAL ON DEATH BSD. Strang* Tran anation Bet we an Wil liam Rookafallar and tha Lata Bhsrassa Daly A peculiar business transaction in which William Rockefeller and the late Marcus Daly ware concerned has jiiat come to light. It seems that when the Montana copper king waa lying at the point of death he had on depoait in the National City bank one account amounting to $197,995, and a special account of $1,300,518. A singular thing in connection with the apeci&l depoait of $1,300,518 in the National City bank is that it waa opened only a few days before Mr. Daly's death in the form of a check of William Rockefeller for money which he owed to Mr. Daly aa a result of transactions in which both men were interested, but" the nature of which is not disclosed, say» a New York report. It is understood that it was Mr. Daly's intention to use this money in the purchase of the Amalgamated Copper company, of which he owned at the time he died 67,300 shares. Claims amounting to $1.600,000 are pending against Mr. Daly's estate^ the chief of which is in an action brought by the United States against the estate to recover $1,365,000 for trespass on government lands and the conversion of timber removed from it. P. J. Shields also has n claim against the estate for $258,000. He claimed to have been a partner with Mr. Daly in a coal mine and some other enterprises. John H. Ma loney and others have an action pending in the Montana court« to recover $50,000. THE AMATEUR GARDENER. An IUnatratlve Example of What Ha Don Not Know About Garde mint*. One of the recently married cou ples rented a house in the suburbs and started to housekeeping on their own account, relates the Memphis Scimitar. They planted a garden. Recently the husband was looking over the new vegetables as they were bursting through the ground, and with his wife was discussing the appearance of the different plants as they appeared above the ground, most of which were new to them. They came to the row of beans which were just shooting their heads into the air and marveled that tha seed should be thus thrust up. It appeared to the husband that the or der of their appearance was re versed. He pondered the matter over and, after giving it due consideration, decided that it would be a pity to have the beane ruined through their ignorance of the proper maimer of coming through the ground. To save them this catastrophe, ho pulled them all up, and reset them with the seed underneath, where ho thought a good aeed should be. 'A ReaRakta Chsr«fe. '"j The Eskimo« poaaaased the most re mark able place of worahip ln tha world. It waa a sealakin church. Forty sealskins were stretched over a light framework and in thia tent, 18 feet by IS feet, services were held every Sum lay. But the ehureh came to an urn timely end. One hard winter the Es kimos' dogs, bsing half famished, lined on the sealskins, and only tha frame was left. Tha Eskimos hav« sow erected a dog proof tabernacle.