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TWO COON STORIES. "It'« funny," «aid Deacon W. H. Near pass, of Chester, N. Y., "how I found out in what part of the country Jim Bennett had been on one of his trips. Jim doesn't often go on trips, except in warm weather, when snakes are out and are ready to let him discover something new about 'em. But this time the season must have been pretty well along, for Jim said folks were gathering their chestnuts where he was. "He was driving along, thinking how lovely nature was and yet how queer. He didn't tell me where it was where he was driving along, and he came to a man work ing away in a field like all possessed, with a pick and shovel. Jim Bennett says he •topped and hollered to the man. ( "'Hello, neighbor! Short a' meat, eh?'' '"The man quit digging and leaned on hi« pick. "'No,' said he, hollering back at Jim. *1 dunno as I'm any way short o' meat.' "Then Jim says he hollered back at the man: " 'Why, you're diggiag to get a ground hog out, ain't you?' "The man hollered back at Jim: I ain't diggin' to git a groundhog out. I'm diggin' to get a 'eoon in.' " 'Digging to get a 'coon in?' he says h« hollered. 'Why, that's kind o' queer, ain't it?' " 'Maybe it is and maybe it hain't,' thé man hollered back at Jim. 'That's accord in' to how folks looksyit it.' if' " 'But where's the 'coon?' "" 'Come over here and I'll tell you,' the 'man hollered back at Jim. "So Jim says he tied his horse to the fence and went over into the field where the man was. The man leaned on his pick and looked at Jim awhile and then said: " 'The 'coon is dead!' '• '"Jim Bennett says this gave him a real •tart, because he thought he wae face to face with a crazy man; but he stood his ground, and the man said: " 'I'm digging his gravel' "Then the man proceeded with his talk, and Jim eavs it wasn't long before he found that the man wasn't crazy, not by a jug full, but was simply a kind and observant citizen, relating strange facts. " 'Yes, sir,' the roan said to Jim Bennett, according to what Jim tells me, 'he was a 'coon among 'cootir, and I'm going to plant him here Itecause he was so all-per vadin' smart that he deserves to have a gravestone. He made one sad mistake to be sure. 1 didn't want him to go out after the chestnuts. The boys was to blame for his goin'. And I'll lick old Jim Carter till he can't see first time I run ag'iri him. " 'My b oys i* full of action and vim, and they move around this district eonsider'ble gatherin' apples and chestnuts and sech, like bovs with vim gener'ly does. Jim Carter has got a chestnut tree on hi« place, j'inin' mine, that beats all the trees 1 know il, and my boys always gits a hankerin' after that tree 'long about thia time o' year; but Jim Carter kee]>a hia eye onto it outrageous close, and my boys have got to put up with a good deal of botherin' by him if they let their hankerin' for that tree git the best of 'em. " 'I've got a spy glass at home, a slammin' good one. Jim Carter he lives a mile from 'that chestnut tree o' hss'n, but he keeps •eomin' toward it every chance he gets to "Me if it's bein' tampered with; so what does my boys do but take to luggin' that spy glass with 'em and sweepin' the coun try with it, so if Jim is cornin' from any 'direction they kin see him long before he gits within any sort o' sight o' them, and fein keep on getherin' chestnuts till he gits too close for it to be safe for 'em. " 'This mornin' that 'coon o' mine, after he had rocked the baby to sleep and fed 4he chickens and the pigs,' so Jim Bennett telle me the man said, 'took down that apy glass and started out. Now, I didn't 'know this then, or I'd 'a' found out more -about it, and either stopped the 'coon or give him some p'ints. But I know it now. " 'He took that spy glass 'cause he had been with the boys durin' one or two of their hankerin' trips, and went over to Jim 'Carter's tree chestnuttin'. He chestnutted ■and chestnutted, sweepin' the country •every now and then with the spy glass to keep track o' Jim. " 'He seen Jim by and by cornin' toward the tree. But that 'coon kept on chest nuttin'. He kept on chestnuttin' so un fortunate long that Jim Carter got there and loaded him with a half a dozen buck shot, and the 'coon came out of the tree dead. " 'He has made a sad mistake, smart as he was. He had been sweepin' the country through the big end o' the spy glass. Of «ourse, that made Jim Carter look more than a mile away when he wasn't 50 yards from the tree, and—well, thia is that 'coon's grave, and I'm goin' to plant him in it.' "Jim Bennett says that was more than he ever learned about 'coons before, and he was glad he had stopped and talked to the man. Jim drove along and by and by, he says, he came to a nice, smart little village, where everything looked prosper ous and pleasing, except one tall, stoop shouldered, neglected-looking man who was going down the street with a yaller dog at his heels. Jim gazed after the man kind o' pitying, he says, and another citizen, a spruce, jolly-appearing individual said to him: " 'That's Sam Fleming. And a real de oent, good-actin' citizen hs would be, too, if it wasn't for that one bad failin' o' his'n. He hunts 'coons.' "Jim Bennett says he eouldn't say a ■word. " 'Every night Sam and that yallsr dog o' his'n is out huntin' 'coons,' Jim says this citizen said, sorrowful as could be. 'And he skins 'em, and nails them skins to hit barn door till you'd think he was runnin' a tanyard. And he cats them 'coons! " 'Jest think of it! Now, we all like Sam, and we've been doin' all sorts o' things io try and shame him out o' that failin' o' his'n, but we can't seem to do it. Now, if he'd only lift somebody's chickens or steal a sheep, ws mowt do somethin' for him. Then we could take him up and •and him some'rs where they'd kMp him •out o' harm's way. " There's one more thing ws'rs goin' to try. If that don't shame him into reform in', then he'll have to move somt'rs else. He'll have to move!' "Jim Bennett says ks ssksd ths man what they intended to do to Sam Fleming «ext. " 'What be we goin' to do to him?* said the man. 'Why, sir, we're actuTy goui' to -elect him to the legislator'!' "When Jim Bennett told me that, I Wae surprised and said: " 'Why, Jim, how could that be? Men etrain and struggle and bay things to get «Ueted to the legislature, and folks look up to 'em.' " 'Yes,' said Jim. "Some places they do, I know. But this was ths Pennsylvania legislature* •'And lust's how I come to find out what t»«rt of the country Jim had been oh hie trip in. And very likely be learned a whole lot mors about 'coons, but that is all hs told me."— N. Y. 8un. it a of c in ot a a all I 1 to d' l I SOWERBY'S COURTING There had been a lull in the conversation around the stove. It had lasted for nearly ten minutes, during which Wash Hancock had industriously sliced nearly all the bark rora a four-foot stove length of hickory. Mart Parsons once or twice "allowed that it was erbout time he was er hookin' up fer home," but the stove was glowing red 1 through its inch thickness of iron, and he knew that the wind was against him on the Hacketville road. The storekeeper was nn wrapping a crateful of lamp chimneys and I ranging them on the shelf when the creak a wagon wheels on the crusted snow was heard outside and "Old Man" Sowerby en- i tered the store. "Old Man" Sowerby was long and lean, ] with a long, serious face, a brush of white , hair and twinkling eyes. Hancock greeted him almost with effusion, brightening per ceptibly as Mr. Sowerby drew off his clumsy j yellow leather gloves, with the red wool wrist attachments, kicked off his arctics and pushed his fur cap lightly to the back of his head. "Have a seegar on me, Uncle Jake," he said, cordially, as the old gentleman fumbled in his pocket and drew' out a corn c b pipe. "I cuess yon can stand one. Rufe | times to have 'em smoked around the store, ; but he dussent say so. You ast hitnu.u' he'll j tell you they smell good, (live us three 1 with the red collars on, Rufe. If anythin' Lappens I'll tell the coroner you hain't to blame." "I'm seasoned," remarked "Old Man" Sowerby, biting off the end of a cigar and striking a match. "I tol' you how come I got seasoned, didn't I?" "You started to," said Hancock, "but Mis' Sowerby headed you off. I never seen you abet up so meek. You said that was in refrunce to your lickin' her pap." "Old Man" Sowerby chuckled. "So it was," he said. "I'll tell you about it, seein' she hain't around now. It was when I was sparkin' her. Her pa had the reputation ot being one of the toughest old nuts in the deeatrick. An' Sarah wus the only gal he had. Mis' Walker died when she wus jest a little runt, so Jeff, the old man, allowed he'd keep her home indefinite. Some of the young bucks kind of objected, but Jeff had a mighty effectual way of discouragin' 'em. Laie Blevins allowed 'at he'd make Sarah a visit Sue night, an' come back with his face all raveled out. Jim Allen, him that kep' the grocery at Hacketville, undertook the same thing, with the same result—" "Mighty good lookin' woman now, Uncle Jake," said Wash, politely. "She hain't ns young as she was, an' neither am I," said Sowerby. "I wus n tol'able husky boy then and I hadn't seen the man I wus a'skeered ter tackle. So one evenin' 1 spruced up in my best clo'es an' put some scented ils on my hair an' hopped in my single-footer an' lit out for the Walker residence. "Seemed like I was in luck, for Sarah wus in an' Jeff wus out. I wasn't nachally bashful, an' I made the most of my time. I don't know how late it was when we walked down to the gate together, but it was tol'able late. Toe first thing we knew ive heard a horse coinin' down the road an' my horse began to whinny. Sarah started for the house, but she hadn't got there an' 1 hadn't got my horse untied before old Jeff come ridin' up. " 'Who is this?' he says. " 'It's me,' I says, handlin' the hick'ry :lubs I cut on the way down kind o' keer •ess. 'I thought I'd come down an' see how you was. Some of the boys said you was sick an' I allowed it'd be neighborly to call.' " 'Why, howdy, Jake!' he says, juet's tickled m he could be seemed like. 'I had to go down to Beder's to see them hogs of his an' I couldn't get away. Tie up your loss again an' come in. It ain't so late out what you can stay awhile longer.' "I wuz a leetle sort o' suspicious, but I 'ollered him into the house an' he got out tome 48-hour-old corn whisky an' a couple d' pipes an' a twist o' terbacker as long's rour arm. I had to take a sociable smoke s'ith him. I reckon he knew I'd never imoked before. I took half a dozen whiffs in' my head began to swell. It got bigger in' bigger—as big as a bucket—as big as a Darrel—as big as a barn—an' everything else pew in proportion. I could see old Jeff .oomin' through the smoke with a smile a .card wide, an' his voice sounded far away ike. Then I broke out into a cold sweat in' my hair began to bristle an' my innards lo crawl an' I drooled like a two-months-old Daby. Finally I couldn't stand it no longer, in' I got up an' said I b'lieved I'd mosey ilong hime. "I hoped the old rip would have give me l chance outside, but he never let on he seen there wus anythin' wrong an' stood it the door with a light. Before I got half way to the gate Jeff commences to whoop an' laff an' holler, an' then blamed if he didn't loose his dog on me. At first I con cluded I wanted to die, an' bein' eaten raw was as good a death as any, but I changed my mind at I kicked against my hick'ry clubs, an' m the dog come up I hit him a belt. Then I crawled on old Roany an' rode off until I got out o' sight o' the house. Then I got down an' held close communion with nature for a spell. "I met ol' Jeff four days after in town an' I walked up to him an' I says, says I: 'Jeff Walker, you're an infernal, no-account onery old limb an' I can whip you.' "That was all he wanted. We come to gether right there, an' I want to say he wus about all 1 care to handle. When I did get him down he held on like a bull pup. Final ly I pushed him off an' pounded him until he hollered ' 'Nuff !' I reckon it was a week ifter that 1 met him at a housewarmin' at Perry Spencer's. Sarah wus along, but she seemed to be tryin' to keep away from me. Finerly I got her cornered an' I ast her what wus the matter an' what she wus mad about. " 'What did you lick pa for?' sh« says, "'Because it wus strictly nesa'ry,' I says. 'If I've got to lick your pap seven days in the week, hand runnin', to see you I'm go>n' to do it.' "She sorter looked tickled an' then all of a suddent she looked skeered. I didn't know why until ol' Jeff teched me on the arm. " 'You won't need to, Jake,' he says. Tvs had all I want, an' if you want to come up to the house any time come up. I'll learn you to smoke.' " "He learned you, did hs?" asked Han cock. Old Man Sowerby looksd attentively at the cigar that hs had smoked half-way through, and triad to roll up the wrapper where it had cpme loose. "I thought he did," he said, at last, as he threw the cigar into the wood box, "but I'll be gol' durned if I can smoke this."—Chicago Daily Newt. Csafsrtzse, She—Was Nellie prompt in aaceptfog his proposal? He—Well, I understand there wasn't any government contract hnsissss about it<— Chicago Daily News« ____ • a a a a 1 I i ] , j | ; j 1 Gray Hair "I have used Ayer's Hair Vigor for over thirty years. It has kept my scalp free from dandruff and has prevented my hair from turn ing gray."—Mrs. F. A. Soule, Billings, Mont. There is this peculiar thing about Ayer's Hair Vigor—it is a hair food, not a dye. Your hair does not suddenly turn black, look dead and lifeless. But gradually the old color comes back,—all the rich, dark color it used to have. The hair stops falling, too. SI.M a bottle. All druggists. If your druggist cannot supply you, ■end us one dollar and we will express you a bottle. Be sure and give the name Of your nearest express office. Address. J. C. AYER CO.. Lowell. Mass. A CHILL FRANCHISE. Peculiar Qualifications Required of Voters In a Certain Illi nois Town. What constitutes a legal residence and entitles one to vote lias been often a matter of dispute. In his "Recollections" John M. Palmer tells an amusing story of the peculiar credentials accepted by a certain town in the west. The town was in Illinois. One of the qualifications required of a voter was residence in the state for six months previous to the election. On • ne occasion a man named Hoskins appeared for registration; but when asked how long he had lived in the state, confessed that the time was somewhat less than six months. The registration officer, after tell ing him he had not been in the state long enough, hesitated a moment, then asked if he had "had the chills." "Yes, I had one yesterday," said Hoskins, "and I feel one coming on now." "Put him down," said the clerk to his assistant. "The chills are as good as a six months' residence!" Mr. Hoskins's name was thereupon placed on the list. Treasures of the Sea. Divers recently raised from the Mediterranean, off Sicily, about thirty old guns which, they say, belonged to the Dutch and Spanish ships sunk by the French in 1676. At any rate, nine of the guns are adorned with the ancient insignia of the Netherlands. There is greater treasure in the 6ea than out-of-date guns, and when sub marine navigation has become safer, one may expect exploring expeditions in the great deep which will yield re sults as rich as any which crown th« efforts of explorers on land. International Telephones. Great activity is now being dis played in the extension of interna tional telephones. Brussels and Lon don and Paris and Rome are already connected. Negotiations are now ir progress between the Russian and German governments to still furtliet enlarge the area of international telephones by a direct line connect ing St. Petersburg and Berlin. Handkerchiefs for Soldiers. The Russian government has de creed that in future all soldiers ol the empire must use handkerchiefs —heretofore not one soldier out ol a thousand has indulged in this lux ury—and that all the handkerchiefs must contain pictures emblematic of a soldier's life, both in battle and in time of peace. Li Î -i'4r Bssiij Trail k, Of disease is often the trail marked by a woman's gown. A recent investiga tion showed a horde of microbes, includ ing tin ..;e of influenza, consumption and a 'i- 'Z'-n other varieties, gathered in the trail of a woman's dress. The microbe is everywhere, but its prey are the weak and feeble people whose blood is "poor" and digestion " weak." Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discov ery cures diseases of the iàï f stomach and other organs Vy of digestion and nutrition and purifies the blood. It strengthens the body by increased nutrition to resist or throw off dis ease. "Please accept my thanks for the good Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery has done for me," writes Mrs. N. Ches ley, of Cleveland, Cuy ahoga Co., Ohio. "I was troubled for over a year with what the doctor pro nounced indigestion. I had nervous headaches, an unpleasant taste in my mouth in the morning, anti my blood was very poor. I tried different medicines but to no avail. My parents insisted on my taking Dr. PieTce's Golden Medical Discovery. I did so; am now on the fourth bottle, and feel stronger than I have for ten years. I cannot speak too highly in its favor." Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets are easy and pleasant to take. A most effective laxa tive. They do not be get the pill habit. Fine job work at Western News American Mining Congress Dead wood and Lead 5 . D. On Sept. 7, ii, 1903. For above occasion we sell round trip for 1 fare plus $2. Dates sale Sept. 1st and 2nd 1903. Going transit limit 10 days final return 30 days date sale. Stopovers allowed in limits S. R. WiLS< N, Agt. End of Bitter l ight. ''Two plisicians had a long and stubborn fight with an abcess.on my right lung," writes J. F. Hughes of Du Pont, Ga., and gave me up. Everybody thought, rnv time had come. As a last resort I tried Dr King's New Discovery for Consump tion. The benefit I received was striking and I was on my feet in a few days. Now I've entirely regain ed my health. It conquers all Coughs, Colds, Throat and Lung troubles. Guaranteed by Bitter Root Drug Co. Price 50c and $1.00. Trial bottles 'ree. Trans-Mississippi Com. Congress Na tional Irrigation Ass'n. Seattle Aug. 18—21. To Tacoma, Seattle, Portland, Vic toria or Vancouver, B. C., and return fare, one and one-third. Date of sales Aug 14, 15 and 16th. Transit limit, 10 days in any direction; final limit, 30 days from date of sale. S. R. Wilson, Agent. The Death Penalty. A little thing sometimes results in death. Thus a mere scratch, insig nificant cuts and puny boils have paid the death penalty. It is wise to have Bucklen's Arnica Salve ever handy. It's the best salve on earth and will prevent fatality when Burns, Sores, Ulcers and Piles threaten. Only 25c at Bitter Root Drug Co. Notice. The Northern Pacific R. R. Co. offers $1,000 reward for information leading up to the arrest and convic tion of the party or parties implicated in dynamiting the Yellowstone River bridge near Livingston on the morn ing of August 2nd. See that above is posted at stations in a conspicuous manner, and that the newspapers, police officers and employees are ad vised to send me personally any in formation secured. E. J. Pearson, A. G., Supt. Suicide revented. The startling annoucement that a preventive of suicide had been discov ed will interest many. A run down system or despondency invariably precede suicide, and something has been found that will prevent that condition which makes suicide likely. At the first thought of self-destruction take Electric Bitters. It being a great tonic and nervine will strength en the nerves and build up the system. It's also a great Stomach, Liver and Kidney regulator. Satisfaction guar anteed by Bitter Root Drug Co. Save the Children. Ninety-nine of every one hundred diseases that children have are due to disorder of the stomach, and these disorders are all caused by indiges tion. Kodol Dyspepsia Cure is just as good for children as it is for adults. Children thrive on it. It keeps their little stomachs sweet and encourages their growth and develoyment. Mrs. Henry Carter, 705 Central St,, Nash ville, Tenn., says, "My little boy is now three years old and has been suf fering from indigestion ever since he was born. I have had the best doctors in Nashville, but failed to do him any good. After using one bottle of Kodol he is a well baby. I recommend it to all sufferers." Kodol digests what you eat and makes the stomach sweet. Sold by Bitter Root Drug Co. * W. A. HAYES, I Harness and Saddler. All Kinds of Repair Work Promptly and Neatly Done. HAMILTON, MONTANA. Cbe Palace, CHAS. BOURNE« PROPRIETOR. pwicr i» fine mines, Donors ana Cigars. Both Domestic and Imported. Cool, Kftmbtoa DrauiM Bttr > Specialty. Also all kinds of BOTTLED GOODS for tourists and outing parties. Cbe Palace» Oictor, moat. ROADSTERS ! ROADSTERS! Are In Big Demand. We offer you a sire of kind disposition and good style, bv Marcus Daly on the Bitter Root Stock Farm. :: DR. EVANS He was bred DR. EVANS. Bay horse Foaled ITarch 26, 1891. Volunteer........... î L^pStrt" ^ ""»***«• ........ fer"" j Hambletonian 10. I Fanny Feller. liks j Lodi. U1S ........... \ Romping Sal. St. Patrick.. Hello Evans. ; I Echo..... i. Kate Evi Will Stand at the Following Places: Victor, j Tuesdays. Fridays Stevensville,{Hamilton,{ ITatT' ^•ff'TERMS, $15 to insure. Mare and Colt held for service of horse. BECKWITH & BOURNE, Prop'rs. <#? 9&? 9jji? çjv 9&? <#? çj? 9jj|? çjç Sleeping Child Springs Open all the Year fcound. C HE moRt wonderful Hot Springs in the west, and which have effected marvelous cures. Just the place to go fora rest auiid the peaceful mountain solitudes. Fishing and hunting in abundance. The hotel and bath rooms have been remodeled and refurnished. Cottages may be rented by the day, week or month. B. F. SEE, Proprietor. çj? & 9Û9 çjç çjjç 9jjfe? <?j? SHOKE THE f Flor De Baltimore 1 Strictly Hand Made Union Cigar. TRY ONE ! J. E. OPPENHEIMER CO. I CITY MEAT MARKET! CORNER MAIN AND THIRD STREET, Is prepared to furnish the retail and wholesale trade with the choicest :: :: :: ;; « Beef, Pork, Mutton, Veal, Etc., Etc, « ------ o Fish and Game in season. THOS. SHERIDAN, Prop. M edicine spr ings.... Open for The Season. fT* f| ¥~~? W « /"Vnp 1~? ¥ Has been thoroughly renovated I jH| I I M I i*^, g ^ and refurnished and will afford ample accommodation for the public. Good cooks and good beds. Stage runs from Hamilton to the Springs every other day. Over 100 acres of camp ground, and the fishing and hunting is un excelled. A stock of groceries and supplies kept constantly on hand. Plenty of pasture for horses. *T*l-j A HP C TY C O* these Spfings are fam £ Si W 1. i*~Y ous for their medicinal SPLENDID ACCOMMODATIONS FOR PATIENTS AND PLEASURE SEEKERS. :: :: :: QEO. STEELE, Prop. RISES AGENTS WANTED in each town to take orders for our new High Gradfi Guaranteed Bicycles. New 1903 Models BoillSO , W Complete |8i7ff M GOSSack," Guaranteed High Grade $10.78 t£ Siberian," a Beauty $12.78 gt NeutSorf," Road Racer $18.78 no better bicycle at any price. Any other make or model you tcant at one-third usual price. Choice of any standard tires and best equipment on all our bicycles. Strongest guarantee. Wo SHIP ON APPROVAL C. O. D. to anyone without a cent deposit and allow IO DAYS FREE TRIAL before purchase is binding. 500 Second Hand Wheels taken in trade by our Chicago retail stores. I I all makes and models, sood as new............ - ____ DOHOTBUYÄMt'Ä'StÄ®« L3SHEJ) STEMS $3 1» $8 nres, equipment, sundries ana snorunr gooas or bu bum *». ***£•-; ftn oar big free sundry cats loo. Contains a worldof useful information. Write J. L. MEAD CYCLE CO., Chicago,