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DÜPÜYER, MONTANA Over $50,000,000 are spent in main taining the churches of the United Hinten, and $400,000,000 in running the (alls. The three most common names in England, Scotland and Ireland re spectively are Smith, Mac-Donald and Murphy. The average weight of the egg of the ostrich is three pounds. Its con tents equal those of about twenty-four hen eggs. Max O'Rell in reply to Mark Twain asserted that only about 7 per cent, of the births in Paris were illegiti mate; but the Abbe Lemire, in a re pent statement, asserts that fhe-pro portion is more than 33 per cent. Russell Sage is doing much to prove himself the meanest man in New York. He made $40,000 on 50,000 bar rels of oil add kicked because he did not hold it 'and makè ÇÎ00,000. The report that the Japanese min ister of war is the long-lost Archduke of Austria is on a par with the con temporaneous report that John Wilkes Booth is still alive. Some reporters are evidentiv short of material. A German engineer reports that he has discovered a short and compara tively cheap route for a canal across the Isthmus of Darien. His plan con templates a ship tunnel under the mountains—11,880 feet long, 112 feet high, and 88 feetwide. This feature of the scheme is seemingly inconsis tent with the idea of small cost. Last year the outflow of steerage passengers from the United States exceeded the arrivals, but now the tide has turned and an imigration agent estimates that the net gain from foreign immigration this year will be half a million of people. This is an other indication that business in this country is reviving. Formosa is about half the size of Ireland, and is well adapted to the growing of rice, tea, coffee and trop ical fruits. It is rich in minerals, in cluding a highly bituminous coal. In the hands of such advanced horti culturists as the Japanese the island will become oue of the garden spots of the world. Argon Is understood to be one of the most inert forms of matter, but a loaf of bread can beat it in under going no change in size when flour drops one-half. On the other hand, the price of meat is livlier than hydrogen, for if the wholesale figure advances 2 cents, the retail price soars away instantly to the extent of 5 cents. Red phosphorus combines with chlorate of potash to make an explo sive of great violence. The London Lancet thinks that if this fact of chemistry had been more generally known it might have saved the dis agreeable consequences which recent followed when a man who had not studied chemistry put Ills safety matches into the same pocket with his throat lozenges. Prof. Rudolph Falb of Vienna pre dicts that the earth will collide with a comet November 13, 1890. lie is the same prophet who set September, 1894, for the submergence of New York City by a tidal wave and the conversion of California into on island as the result of an earthquake. The professor has been of some service to science, but he ought to realize that his recoid as a seer has been dam aged beyond repair. The census figures concerning the Insurance of fire and marine insur auce carried by the American people in 1890 was $120,007,235,826, and that for this protection the policy-hblders paid $1,156,450,512, or 9Gc on every $100. In the payment of losses, tlio amount returned to the insured was 5(ic on every dollar of premiums paid. The volume of insurance is now much larger, of course, but the relative facts are probably about the same. In showing how one seuse is sharp ened to supply the loss of another, Dr. S. Millington Miller writes that Alexander Hunter, of the land office at Washington, though entirely deaf, spelled without mistake 150 words read to him from the dictionary, lie has become able to read the motion of the lips of those addressing him. This faculty Is not rare among the deaf, and by means of It some ot them, like Mitchell, the chemist of the United States patent office, have been able to understand the lectures neces sary for their graduation at college. It is suggested that the machine gun. if certain economical considera tions could be adjusted, would find a valuable place among the useful arts of peace. As a feller of trees there is no agency in the world like it. Ad miral Sir Edmund Commerell, in al luding recently to the superiority in workmanship and effectiveness of the Maxim gun, said that a .303 Maxim w:>« capable of cutting down a tree »nteen Inches in diameter in a .irter of a minute. He would not only defy any other gun to do this, but he would give any battalion lu her majesty'» service five hours' firing as much as they liked, at whatever range they phased, and they would not do the nam« thing. THE TEXAS ANANIAS. HOW HE ENTERTAINS EASTERN HEALTH SEEKERS. 1 War Time Stratajrem Which Proved Fatal to Three Yankee*— Decapitating a Chinaman for In fraetton of Culinary Rule*— Serai» With "Trigger Jim." Now that spring is upon us. and the weather gets somewhat summery to a Northern man, our winter tourists are winging their way back to their homes. The winter tourist is usually weak as to lungs, and comes down to restore his breathing apparatus, and to «scape the rigor of the hard North ern winter, so that his clays may be longer in the land that his forefathers stole from the Indians. He carries back a healthier pair of lungs, some additional flesh, a better appetite, a ruddier complexion and a big stock of wild yarns that have been poured Into him by that past master of the im probable, the talkative Southwest erner. Soon after his return all his home papers break out with lurid Western tales, like a baby with meas les, obtained second-hand from the re turned wanderers, says a correspond ent of the Globe-Democrat. Nothing on earth gives the locals more delight than stuffing the guile less sojourner from the East. The visitor is so innocent, so blandly ignor ant and so charmingly receptive. Tell him the actual truth and he is visibly disappointed and a positive disbeliev er. Tell him there is no place in the world where a man who minds his own business Is so secure as in Texas; that there isn't the slightest danger in wearing a plug hat; that it has been years since a man was hung for steal ing horses; that the crack of the six Bliooter is not the most prevalent noise throughout the land; that the woolly wolf, who growls as he walks, has been In his grave with a broken neck 1* L I Ananias. or a perforated carcass for these many years; that the enthusiastic person who used to ride his cay use into bar rooms shoot around a few times and force everybody to drink whisky, is a myth—for no man ever needed a gun to mako a Texas crowd drink witli him, an Invitation Is sufficient; this given, he would need the gun to keep from being trampled to death in the rush—tell the visitor these things, I say, and he flatly refuses to believe you. He wants blood, murder and lynchings. He yearns to hold con verse with the bad man and admire him and be tilled with fear and won der. Hence, he Is easily Imposed upon by the most preposterous pretenders. Down near the court house in San Antoniit Is a saloon that is a favorite resort of the visiting -amateur con sumptives, and is also the lounging place of a select assortment of queer old bums of halfway respectability, to whom a free lunch is specially at tractive and an invitation to take a drink a special dispensation of an all wise and kindly providence. Among these is the king of all the liars in the Southwest. He is an an tiquated Ananias run to seed, whose wife runs a boarding house and don't allow him around in the daytime. A life-long application to whisky of all kinds has given his fac-o the color of a tainted beefsteak, and his eyes would flisgrace a mud turtle. His voice is coarse and husky, conveying the im pression that its owner lias spent many years down somebody's chimney or in a dense or damp fog. This old caricature poses as a one-time des perado and the hero of countless imag inary experiences, to these gaping, wondering sous, of the effete East, who give him all he can drink to hear him talk, and who believes implicitly every word he utters. Hence iie is able to keep drunk all winter. He dif fers from other reptiles by lying tor pid all through the summer. Old Ananias was sitting the other day at a table with two convalescents, who were listening to him with open mouths and close attention. They kept the whisky coming just often enough to kep him going well up and In fine spirits. "Of course, gentlemen, in the late course, ft -A". "I jumped Tell F«et In the Air and Did the Spilt." unpleasantness I was on our own side. I was in a Texas regiment; a fighting regiment, sali; and if 1 do say it, 1 myself was not the most backward. I was a-goin' along one day up in old Vahginyah, when three Yankees.took after me. Three was too many, of course to fight, open, so I tried strategy I- run up a li'ilaide where there was a big rock, as big, sah, as a freight car; I jumps behind it and cocks my gun. You see, the rock was 'twixt mo and them, and I heard them fix it up for oue to go 'round one way, and t'other t'other way; the third man to lay low where he was—a sorter reserve, you understand. It was a good scheme, but I was a fox lu those days und crawls up on top of the rock. The two fellers come around, met each oth er sudden-like, and each thinking the t'other was me, cracked loose—bang! and there was two dead Yankees. I pulled down on the third man from top the rock, and lie caved right there, m w ia "I .1 h nt Cut Off HI* Heart With One Swipe of My Ilowle." give up his gun, one! 1 took the money, | his lmts and boots. Fortune of war, )<'ii know. I cut off one of his ears and let him go. Never liked to be bothered with prisoners, and still wanted some token of the capture. Why, when the war was over 1 had two water buckets full of ears. They are up to my house now if the hounds ain't got away with them." "Oh. my!" said one of the convales cents turning pale. Liquor all around was procured and Ananias went right along. "You've all heard tell, I reckon, about old Judge Bean, up at Vlnega roon, acquitting a man for killing a Chinee because there wasn't nothing said in Texas law about a Chinee at all. I was that man. I ain't proud over killing a Chinee, for them and niggers and Mexicans don't count. Hut this cussed heathen was running a eating joint, and one time waiting for grub, I see him stir up a plate of soup with his pigtail. I just cut off his head with oue swipe of my bowie. My favorite weapon, gentlemen. I took the pigtail home, and my wife uses it right now for a switch in her back hair. It's never got over being greasy. Whether it's from the soup, or because Chinee hair is oiler thau people's is I don't know." "1 never heard anything about that before," said the other convalescent. Refreshments all around, and the false hood factory went to work again. "Did you ever hear tell of Jim Blood? They called him 'Trigger Jim.' No? Well, he was one of the worst men ever in this country. His range was from Waco down to Austin, and he run that country to suit his own self. lie did what ho durned please, and nobody give liitn No. 1 was a was a howling coyote myself in ibr.n days, and there wasn't anybody who could out-juinp, out-fight or get away with youi Immole servant, i used to roam from the coast up here to San tone, and I heard of Jim. I sent him word that I was coming over to Austin and tame him; that I wouldn't bring no gun, as I didn't need it to tame such a lamb as he was. I run con siderable chances in this business for 1 went right over, and took nothing but my bowle. "You know how Austin's built, don't you? There's a big wide main street running from the river up a hill, straight for near a mile, to where the capitol building is. I looked for Jim all up that hill everywhere», and did not find him. I began to think he wasn't around, when way up on the zm \ À "A Mexican I.Ion Thnt I Hurt ( hokert to Dentil." hill I run slap into him before I knew it. Ho was laying for me up there, and had me covered with a six-shooter before I could get my knife. I turned io run. and figured to a dot when he shot. As he cracked loose 1 jumped way up in the air and did a split, just like what those show gals does, only mine wasn't on the ground by six root. The bullet went under me. ! knew he had five more cartridges, so 1 hit the ground running, and squatted low down when his gun barked the second time. That bullet took off my hat. and sent it spinning forty feet in front of me. I was to It in a second, and as I stooped the third shot came, it hit me just on top the lowest end of my spinal column, and plowed up a streak of meat clear to the nape of my neck. I was running like the devil right down the middle of the main street, and him right after me. There wasn't a soul in sight, everybody run in his hole, at the first beginning of Illings. I never lost track of the num ber of shots, though, and had my tig gers on the bowie. Next fire I jump ed sidewise, and the bullet hit my hind pocket, and scattered a deck of monte cards all over creation. At the fifth crack I made a cat-a-eornered whirlagig sort of a jump, and got a hole in my coat tail. Only one more shot left. Just in time 1 took another straight-up jump, only I forgot to do the split this time, and the bullet took away three of my toes. I turned while up in the air and was onto him before he could stop himself. The , coroner found forty-two cuts in him, ail done in forty-seven seconds. My coat and pair of boots mined, and had lost a deck of cards and three toes. I was mad, and I took and pried out his eyeballs, put 'em in my pocket, and departed. I had them stuck Into a stuffed Mexican lion that I had choked to death one day, and with them eyes, he was the sa vagest-looking beast you ever saw. Had a sort of human, can nibal look about him. 1 just want to show you my foot, so you see for your selves, gentlemen." And Ananias took off his shoe and his sock and put his naked foot up on top of the table as a verification of his statements. Sure enough, three toes were missing. This was a clincher. "Good God!" said both convalescents in unison. A few dnys later I met Tobe Per kins. ex-cattleman and general round er, who knew everybody, and 1 ask ed how Ananias lost his fbes, for I was curious about the matter. "What! That old galoot! Why. he come down to Beanville, just below here, about a year ago, and made a nuisance of himself around Tim Mur phy's saloon. A lot o'druuk railroad hands one pay day began shootin' elost' to his feet to make him dance. Some drunk feller's aim was shaky and three toes was ruined. That .azy old tub put up as lively a wing dance as ever I seen. You wouldn't think to look at him, would you?" "No, I wouldn't." qi EEVS HOI SR SERVANTS. They TV um her With hut Two Addition* Since Henry VIII. Queen Victoria's household is a large one, consisting of just a thous and persons, for the maintenance of whom the nation sets apart the sum of $2,500,000 every year. Most of the posts are sinecures or fixtures for life. In the early part of Queen Victoria's reign a mistress of the robes may pos- : sibly have done n few hours' work In the year, giving orders that the ap- j parol of the sovereign should be care fully preserved from moth and dust, | renewing the regal ermine, velvet and lace at stated times, and seeing that J the crown jewels wore alway» locked | up safely after a public air'ig. She j could also affix her name to warrants ! empowering one worthy tradesman to I sell sewing cotton to the royal house- ■ hold and allowing others to put up the royal arms over their doors he cause their various wares were bought by personages of illustrious degree. Harriet Sutherland's signature was almost as good an addition to business advertisements as "To the Queen" em blazoned in big gilt letters over the shops. Some of the posts are entirely orna mental and others have very little duty attached to them. Probably the only additions to tlie household since the time of Henry VIII. are two steam apparatus men. Although there is no longer n royal barge nor any pageantry on the Thames there are still a barge master and a waterman, with a salary each of $2,000 a year. l<'or the past 300 years there has _b°en no hawking in the forest of Windsor, but the office of grand fal coner, held by the duke of St. Albans, has only been suppressed within the last two years. There are four table deckers whose sole duty is to lay the dinner cloth and see that the pintes, dishes and cutlery are fairly set forth. There is also a wax titter, who sees the candles properly disposed, and a first and second lamplighter, who re ceives the same salary as that of the poet laureate, which "is $boo a year. This may seem shabby payment, but It must be confessed that most of the poets laureates have been overpaid for the stuff supplied. Then there is the "keeper of the swans," who annually pockets $150 for looking after the sacred birds on the royal waters. Lastly, there is the "queen's rat catcher," who is especi ally attached to Buckingham palace. His salary, $75, is.provided outside the civil list. Every session the house of commons. In committee of supply, con siders this vote and gravely agrees to it.— 1IER SMILE WENT WITH THE POSE The Model In the Life Clnnt* Smiled Simply for the Sake of Art. An amusing incident ocurred not long ago in a well known New York art school. The girl students were drawing from life a study of the "Dancing Faun," A good lookingltal ian boy \\as the model, and as lie as sumed the requisite pose his face be came wreathed in smiles. He was gazing directly at the class, and each girl imagined the smile was directed at lier. "How very embarrassing," said a Long Island girl. "I wish to goodness lie wouldn't grin at me." In spite of the indignant glances cast at him the son of Italy continued to smile at the blushing girls. Presently a stolid German girl look ed up and noticed the smile, which she imagined was aimed directly at her. "You schtop «lot schmiling. We don't want you to scmile at us." The boy's figure instantly straightened up and he stood before the class the very impersonation of offended dignity as he said: "Ladies, I no smile at any one. I pose to you as ze 'Dancing Faun.' Ze smile goes wiz ze pose."—New York World. Sequel to u Fairy Story. An anecdote has been related by ■\\ ....am Grimm, one of the pair at' fa mous story tellers. One day a little girl rang their bell and met him in the hall with the words. "You are the Mr. Grimm who writes the pretty tales?" "Yes, I and my brother." • ..nil that of the clever little tailor who married the princess?" "Yes, cer tainly." "Well, said the child, pro ducing the book, "it is said here that every one who doesn't believe it must pay him a thaler. Now, I don't be lieve that a princess ever married a tailor. I haven't so much as a thaler, but here Is a grosehen; and please say I hope to pay the rest by degrees." Just then Jacob came up, and the brothers had an interesting interview with the little dame; but they could not persuade her to take away the grosehen which she hail laid au the table. A Millionaire Annrclilat. There was a millionaire among the anarchists recently expelled by the federal council of •Switnerliiid. lie vas an Italian, named Borghe.ti, and a temporary resident it Lugano, the great anarchist oeuw of E'lnipe. 1'or I ghetti is only L'." years old. Ile «as dressed very simply but kept open : house for his fellow revolutionists, I who frequently had resource also to ; his purse. Borghetti's father, who did not share the autipatiiotic and anirch chistic ideas of Iiis sou, used to hoist the Italian fiag on national occasions but young Borghetti promptly replac ed It with the red banner of the revo lutionists.—New York Tribune. : j | J | j ! I ■ THE JILTING OF JANE As I sit writing in my study, I can hear our Jane bumping her way down stairs with a brush and dustpnn. She used in the olo days to sing hymns tunes, or the British national Bong for the time being, to these Instruments, but lattrly she lias been silent and even careful over her work. Time was when I prayed with fervor for such silence, and my wlfo with sighs for such care, but now they have come we are not so glad as we might have anticipated we should be. Indeed, I would rejoice secretly, though it may be unmanly weakness to admit it, even to hear Jane sing "Daisy" or by the fracture of any plate, but one of Marinaa's best green ones, to learn that the period of brooding has come to an end. Yet how we longed to hear the last of Jane's young n an before we heart! the last of him! Jane was always very free with her conversation to my wife, and discoursed admirably in the kitch en on a variety of topics—so well, indeed, that I sometimes left my study door open—our house Is a small one to partake of it. But after William came it was always William, nothing but William; William this and William that; and when we thought William was worked out and exhausted alto gether, then Wllllfim all over again. The engagement lasted altogether M years; yet how she got Introduced to William, and so became thus saturated with him, was always a secret. For my part, I believe it was the street corner where the Rev. Barnabas Baux used to the open-nir service after evensong on Sundays. Young Cupids were wont to flit like moths around the paraffin flare of that center of Iligli «-hurch hymn-singing, I fancy she stood slngiug hymns, there, out of memory and her imagination, in stead of coming home to get supper, and William came up beside her and said, "Hello!" Hello, yourself," she said, and etiquette being satisfied they together. As Mariana has a reprehensible way of letting her servants talk to her proceeded to talk together she soon heard of him. "He's such a respectable young man, ma'am," said Jane, "you don't know." Ignoring the slur cast on her acquaintance, my wife Inquired further about this William. "He is second porter at Maynard's. the draper's," said Jane, "and gets IK shillings—nearly a pound—a week, m'm, and when the head porter leaves he will be head porter. Ills relatives are quite superior people, m'm. Not laboring people at all. His father was a green grosher, m'm, and had a chumor, and he was bankrup' twice. And one of his sisters is In a Home for the Dying. It will be a very good match for me, ina'am," said Jane, "me being an orphan girl." "Then you are engaged to him?" asked my wife. "Not engaged, ma'am, but he Is saving money to buy a ring—hammy fist." "Well, Jane, when you are properly engaged to him you may ask him round here on Sunday afternoons, and hnve tea with him In the kitchen." For my Mariana lias a motherly con ception of her duty towards her maid servants. And presently the amethy stine ring was being worn about the house, even with ostentation, and Jane developed a new wny of bring ing in the joint, so that this gage was evident. The elder Miss Maltland was aggrieved by It, and told my wife that servants ought not to wear rings. But my wife looked it up in "Enquire Within," and Mrs. Motherly's Book of Household Management," and found no prohibition. So Jane re mained with this happiness added to lier love. The treasure of Jane's heart ap peared to me to be what respectable people call a very deserving young man. "William, ma'am," said Jane, one day, suddenly, with ill-concealed complacency, as she counted out the beer bottles, "William, ma'am, is a teetotaller. Yes, m'm; anil he don't smoke. Smoking, ma'am," said Jane, who reads the heart, "do make such a dust about. Besides the waste of money. And the smell. However, I suppose it's necessary to some.' Possibly It dawned on Jane that she was reflecting a little severely upon Mariana's comparative ill-fortune, and she added kindly: "I'm sure the mas ter Is a hangel when his pipe's alight. Compared to other times." William was at first a rather shab by young man of the heary-made black coat school of costume. He bail wat ery gray eyes and a complexion ap propriate to the brother of one In a home for the dying. Mariana did not fancy him very much, even at the beginninc. His eminent respectabil ity was vouched for by an alpaca um brella, from which lie never allowed himself to be parted. "He goes to chapel," said Jane. His papa, ma'am—" "His what, Jane?" "His papa, ma'am, was Church; but Mr. Maynard is a Plymouth Brother, and William thinks it policy, ma'am, to go there too. Mr. Maynard comes and talks to him quite friendly when they ain't busy, about using up all the ends of string, and about his soul. He takes n lot, of notice, to Mr. Maynard, of William, and the way he saves string anil his soul, ma'am." Presently we heard that the head porter at Maynard's had left, and that William was head porter at 23 shill ings a week. He's really kind of over ; the man who drives the van." said Jane, "and him married with three children." And she promised in the her heart to make interest for us with William to favor us so that we might get our parcels of drapery from May j nard's with exceptional promptitude. After this promotion increasing prosperity came upon him. Jane's young man. One day he learned that Mr. Maynard had given William a book. "Smiles 'Elp Yourself," it's call ed," said Jane, "but it ain't comic. It tells you how to get on in the world, and some what William read to me j was lovely, ma'am." j Mariana told me of this laughing, and then she became suddenly grave. ! "Do you know, dear," she said. "Jane said one thing I do not like. She had been quiet for a minute, and then she suddenly remarked, "William is a lot ! above me, ma'am, ain't he?" I "I don't see anything in that," 1 I said though later my eyes were to be opened. ; One Sunday afternoon about that j time I was sitting at m.v writing-desk I —possibly 1 was reading a good book when a something went by the win dow. I heard a startled exclamation ; behind me, and saw Mariana with her ) hands clasped together and her eyes ! dilated. "George," she said, in an awe stricken whisper, "did you see?" I Then we both spoke to one another I at the same moment, slowly and sol emnly: "A silk liat!Yellow gloves! A new unibiella!" "It may be my fancy, dear." said Mariana, "but his tie was very like yours. I believe Jane keeps him in ties. She told me a little while ago ill a way that Implied volumes about the rest of yonr coutume, 'The master do wear pretty ties, ma'am.' And he echoes all your novelties." The young couple passed our win dow again on her way to their cus tomary walk. They were arm-in-arm. Jane looked exquisitely proud, happy and uncomfortable, with new white cotton gloves, and William In the silk hat singularly genteel. That was the culmination of Jane's happiness. When she returned, "Mr. Maynard has been talking to William, ma'am." she said, "and he is to serve customers just like the young shop gentlemen, during the next sale. And if he gets on. lie is to be made an as sistant. ma'am at the first opportunity. He has got to be as gentlemanly as he can, ma'am, and if he ain't ma'am, he says, it won't be for want of trying. Mr. Maynard has taken a great fancy to him." "Ile is getting on, Jane," said my wife. "Yes, ma'am," said Jane, thought fully, "he Is getting on." And she sighed. That next Sunday, as I drank my tea, I interrogated my wife. "How is this Sunday different from nil other Sundays, little woman? What has happened? Have you altered the cur tains, or rearranged the furniture, or where Is the Indefinable difference of it? Are you wearing your lialr In a new way without warning me? I clearly perceive a change In my en vironment, and I cannot for the life of me say what it Is." Then my wife answered In her most tragic voice: "George," she said, "that —that William has not come near the place to-day! And Jane is crying her heart out up stairs." There followed a period of silence. Jane, as 1 have said, stopped singing about the house and began to care for our brittle possessions, which struck my wife as being a very sad sign in deed. The next Sunday, and the next, Jane asked to go out "to walk with William," and my wife, who never at tempts to extort confidences, gave her permission and asked no questions. On each occasion Jane came back looking flushed and very determined. At Inst one day she became communicative. "William is being led away," she re marked, abruptly, with a catching of breath, apropos of tablecloths. "Yes, m'm. She Is a milliner, and she can play on the piano." "I thought," said my wife, "that you went out with him on Sunday." "Not out with him, m'm; after him. I walked along by the side of them and told her he was engnged to me." "Dear me, Jane, did you? what did they do?" "Took no more notice of me than if I was dirt. So I told her she should suffer for it.' "It could not have been a very agree able walk, Jane?" "Not for no parties, ma'am." "I wish," said Jane, "I could play the piano, ma'am. But, anyhow, I don't mean to let her get him away from me. She's older than him. and her hair ain't gold to the roots, ma'am." It was on the August bank holiday that the crisis came. We do not clear ly know the details of the fray but only such fragments as poor Jane let fall. She came homo dusty, excited and with her heart hot within her. The milliner's mother, the milliner and William had made a party to the Art Museum at South Kensington. 1 think. Anyhow, Jane had calmly but firmly accosted them somewhere in the streets, and asserted her right to what, in spite of the consensus of literature, she held to be her Inalienable proper ty. She did, 1 think, go as far as to lay hands on him. They dealt with her in a crushlngly superior way. They "called a cab." There was a "scene." William being pulled away in to the four-wheeler by Ills future wife and mother-in-law from the reluctant hands of our discarded Jane. There were threats of giving her "in charge." "My poor Jane!" said my wife, minc ing veal as though she was mincing William. "It's a shame of them. 1 would think no more of him. He is not worthy of you." "No, m'm" said Jane. "He is weak." "But it's that woman has done It," said Jane. She was never known to bring herself to pronounce "that wom an's" name or to admit her girlishness. "I can't think what minds some wom en must have—to try and get a girl's young man away from lier. But there, it only hurts to talk about it," said Jane. Thereafter the house rested from William. But there was something in the manner of Jane's scrubbing the front doorstep or sweeping out the rooms a certain vlclousness, that per suaded me that the story had not yet ended. "Please, m'm, may I go and see a wedding to-morrow?" said .Taue one day. My wife knew by instinct whose wedding "Do you think it wise, Jane?" she said. "I would like lo see the last of him," said Jane. "My dear," said my wife, fluttering into my room about twenty minutes after Jane had started. "Jane has been to the boot hole and taken all the left off boots and shoes and gone oft' to the wedding with them in a bag. Surely, she can not mean -" "Jane," 1 said, "is developing char acter. Let us hoite for the best." Jane came back with a pale, hard face. All the boots seemed to be still In her bag, at which my wife heaved a premature sigh of relief. We heard her go upstairs and replace the boots with considerable emphasis. "Quite a crowd at the wedding, ma'am," she said, presently, in a pure ly conversational style, sitting in our little kitchen, and scrubbing the pota toes; "anil such a lovely day for them," She proceeded to numerous other' -Je ta ils. clearly avoiding some cardinal incidents. "It was all extremely respectable Und nice, ma'am; but her father didn't wear a black coat, and looked quite out of place, ma'am, Mr. l'iddiug quirk " I "Who?" ! "Mr. Pidilingquirk—William, that was, ma'am,—had white gloves and a coat like a clergyman, and a lovely chrysanthemum.lie looked so nice, ma'am. And there was a red carpet down, just like for gentlefolks. And they say he gave the clerk four shlll i ings, ma'am. It was a real kerridge they had—not a fly. When they came out of church there was rice-throwing and her two little sisters dropping dead flowers. And some one threw a I slipper, and then 1 threw a boot " "Threw a boot. Jane!" 1 "Yes, ma'am. Aimed at her. But It hit him. Yes, ma'am, linrd. Gev' him a black eye, I should think. I ! only threw that. one. I hadn't the ! heart to try it again. All the little Itoys cheered when it hit him." After an interval. "I am sorry the j boot hit him." 1 Another pause. The potatoes were 1 being scrutbed violently. "He al always was a bit above me, you know ma'am. And he was led away." j The potatoes were more than finish ed. Jane rose sharply with a sigh, and rapped the basin down on the table. I "I don't care," she said. "I don't car» a rap. He will find out his mis take yet. It serves me right. 1 was stuck up about him. I ought not to have looked so high. And I am glad things are as things are." M.v wife wns in the kitchen seeing to the high cookery. After the confes sion of the boot-throwing she must have watched poor Jane fuming with a certain dismay In those brown eyes of hers. But I imagine they softened again very quickly, and then Jane's must have met them "Oh, ma'am," said Jane, with an as tonished change of rote. "Think of all that might have been. Oh, ma'am! I could have been so happy. 1 ought to have known, but I didn't know. * * * You're vcry kind to let me talk to you, ma'nm * * * it's har-r-r-r-rr " And I gather that Mariana so far forgot herself as to let Jane sob out some of the fulness of her heart on a sympathetic shoulder. My Mariana thank heaven, has never properly grasped the Importance of "keeping up her position." And since that fit of weeping much of the accent of bit terness has gone out of Jane's scrub bing and brush work. indeed something passed the other day with the butcher boy. but that scarcely belongs to this story. How ever, Jane is young still, and time and change are at work with her. We all have our sorrows, but I do not believe very much In the permanercy of broken hearts. FAKE STÖFS IIV THI5 ORGAN. A Trade Secret In the Coimtrnvtlon of the Inntrnment. Of all musical Instruments known in the present day the organ is undoubt edly the "king." Not only in its com plicated and ingenious mechanism or In its wonderful control by one per former, but in its powers of expres sion and Imitation of the various in struments of the orchestra it is unex celled. Unlike other instruments that, are perfected both In voice and sim plified methods of playing—such as the violin, flute, clarionet, etc., the or gan, as it now stands. Is still open to considerable Improvement, both in mechanical and acoustic principles. To trace back its history as far as even "Father Smith" ami "Renatus Harris" (1084» In their competition for the organ at the Temple church. Lon don, England, and then trace up to the present day, noting all the real gradual improvements, would be ail Interesting and laborious work; but our object now is to take a glance at the modern instrument and enable us in choosing the very best, both musi cally and economically; by the latter we do not mean parsomony of hag gling for a bargain but making the most of the means, whether if pro ceeds from contributions or gifts. As our churches are the dlsbursers of the funds, very often perseverlngly col lected under not very encouraging cir cumstances, It will be as well to un derstand what Is really required and what Is to be rejected. The word "stop" means a "set" or "rank" of pipes—one to every key on the keyboard. The word does not re fer in any way to the "knob" that the organist pulls out or pushes in. It seems necessary to explain this, as many persons are unaware of it. and are dazzled by the amount of "knobs" they get for the money, anil say. "Oh, our organ has thirty stops, and cost so and so," and "such a one's has thirty-six and cost only half that sum." Now, In almost every specifi cation received from organ builders a certain number of "fake" stops are announced in order to make it appear a great deal tor the money. Among them are certain "mechanical" con trivances, which produce certain ef fects on the mechanism only, while others are used to affect the speech of the pipes. Others again are mere "clap-trap," and as a rule whose these are inserted the tender may be put in the fire, as the builder is untrust worthy. An idea may be formed of the use lossness of some of these by the num ber of them run into a parlor organ. In the latter one may find eleven "stops," and actually only two rows of reeds. 122 in number therefore really only two stops, divided into treble and bass to swell the number to four- the remainder being made up of mechani cal "clap-trap." In the organ a eood many of these "accessories" are in cluded as stops. Now. let us examine them. Among the really necessary mechanical "knobs" may be noticed the various "couplers;" these net on the keys and enable the player to get the power of two or more rows of keys with one pair of hands. Ilntn With Money In Them. The other day a Sun reporter saw a small boy run out of Chinatown pur sued by a bare-headed Chinaman. The boy held a sott hat in his hands, which was presumably the property of the Chinaman. As the boy turned the corner of the street he threw the hat into an unoc cupied basement- The Chinaman Im mediately stopped running and skip ped nimbly into the cellar after his hat. On his reappearance on the side walk his face was a picture of despair. He looked for the boy, but In vain. He explained In broken English that he had .f.'IO in bills inside the band of | the hat. and that the money was gone. A neighboring storekeeper said that. In the last week several Chinamen j had suffered in a similar manner. It appears that they have a habit of car rving money inside their hatbands. The small boys have discovered tills fact, and under the pretense of teas ing the Chinamen they have been snatching their headgear. While run-' I ning they abstract the money and ; then, so as to Insure their escape, they throw the hats into a basement. By the time the Chinaman understands the situation the boy Is out of sight.— New York Sun. Vneclnntln« n Fire ltrleudc. Yesterday morning an outbreak of fire occurred in one of the wards of the smallpox hospital in Parkhill road, and information was sent to the cen tral fire station. Superintendent Wil lis and a contingent of firemen anil members of the salvage corps went to the institution, and the fire, which was not of a serious character, was soon extinguished. Mr. Willis and Inspec tor Smith, of the salvage corps, and the men were about to return to head quarters when they were told that they could not leave the hospital until all had been vaccinated. The opera tion was duly carried out, and fresh clothes were sent for. ill order that those the men were wearing at the time might be thoroughly disinfected. —Liverpool Mercury. The air-tight compartment theory of building ships was copied from a provision of nature shown In the case of the nautilus. The shell of this ani mal lias forty or fifty compartments into which air or water may be ad mitted to allow the occupant to sink or float, as he pleases.