Newspaper Page Text
In t-pcech delivered some time
ago Senator Dawes surprised his hearers by declaring that the progress of the United States westward had been so great that "the sun will not go down to ?ight upon our,iwestward border until it shall have risen on the cost of Maine." We have been accustomed to hearing such ex pressions used in illustration of the territorial extent of th?t British Empire, but it is a new experience to hear it applied to the United States. In 1800 the center of American population was twenty miles east of Columbus, Ind. In 1700 it was twenty-three miles east of Balti more, at a point 505 miles east of that established by the late cen sus. During the century, there fore, the center of population has moved westward at the rate of more than five miles a year, 78 feet a day or something over 8 feet an hour. From 1880 to 1890 the distance gained was 48 miles, and if the same rate has been maintained since the census year the center of population should I now be within eight miles of I Columbus, Ind. I Americans will have no reason to blush at the comparison of the completed ships of our new navy I with the vessels of ..foreign powers. CAPP.KI). PICKET AX1) A HAYSEED I On board a Baltimore train pull iug into Parkersburg was a man I whose demeanerconveyed the im- I pression that ho was matter ot I fact all the way through. No I foolishness, no trifling with in I the everyday afTairs of this busy I old life. I "Mr. Conductor, what time do I we got into Parkersburg?" "Ten-twenty,"replied the official I politely. "Yes. Well what time can I I get a train on west?" I "Nine-twenty." "To-morrow?" "To-nighi." I ? 'Conductor don't take me for I a fool because my beard grows the wrong way, and my clo's suggest whip-poor-wills and pennyroyal. I'm serious." "So am I. good friend, you can do it all right." "W-a-11, now, how?" "Just keep your seat." "And leave town and hour be fore I get into it?' I "That is the idea, my good I fellow " "Look h'yer. You may be a I good conductor, an' know all the I stations, an' the spotters,an' how I to knock down 40 per cent o' the I receipts, but when you claim to I have a reversin' lever on the sun, I you'r decidedly off." "But the time changes an I hour at the river." I "Then, at this rate, if I go on to San Francisco, I'll get there I some time last week. I guess I I'll get off and wait till I catch up I with myself."?Ex. Jetljjp Wiixem'* I'rorerbs. From the Detroit Free Preu. The perfeshional patriot that I haint got his price marked on H him somers is almity skeerce. Thar's one politickle problem I I aint been'abil to git the anser I to yet. namely, to wit: Ef i'? I costs $10,000 fer a statesman to I git a $5,000 job, how does he git H even? The richer the government the I purer the people. I Congressmen kin git the ned- I cessaries ov life on their salaries, I but the Lord only knows whar I they git the lugshuries. Politishuns don't secure their promises by morgigde. Mity few women go into poli- I ticks before they try to git into matrimony. A one dollar greenback in the I hand is wuth all yer financial H theories in the bush. Politicks raises a disturbance I every time it gits mixed with any- I thing else. Frinstance.churches. I temperance, labor, farmin', fitin' I and wimmen. The Godess of Liberty never I strikes fer any more pay. ner I the Star Spangled Banner don't I slide down the pole when the I eight hours is up. H The church and school house H are conservators of the peace and promoters of prosperity. The I poorest church in the land is bet- I ter for the community than ten I policemen. It is, better to edu- H cate L'ood citizens than to school H bad ones G. A. R. posts throughout the State are making preparations to attend the State encampment at Grafton, April 26 and i!7. Wm~ E. Morgan has been ap pointed by the West Virginia World's Fair board of managers to take charge of the S|pti agri cultural exhibit during the fair. On the line of the B. & 0.. rail road, in Marion county, several thousand acres of coal lands have been purchased by capitalists and will be opened up. The office seeker has the night mare six nights in the week and is without rest on the Sabbath. Better a mule and a mortgage than a man and a mission. THE POPULATION OF Clarksbur* is about 5,000, and we would Ktiv ut lout ono half are troubled with aome affection of tho Throat uml Lmigs We would advise all our readers to call on their druggist and K?t u bottle of Kemp's Balsam for the Throat and Lungs. Trial size free. Large bottles HOo and $1. Sold by all druggists.... i ~THe'LATEST. There is not much enthusiasm over the impending revival of hoopskirts. Kid gloves with gauntlets of the finest lace now "obtain" among girls of the period. In bonnets, those with the Prince of Wales feathers sticking up on top are very fashionable. The almost forgotten year of 1830 is now held responsible for absurd fashions. What is called '-white wool grenadine" is a new material that has appeared for evening.dresses. Some men begin to lie awake wondering how fashionable trous ers are to be cut this spring. As a becoming garment, most men have decided the "bag" over coat to be a failure. Japanese China, "purchased when we were in Japan," is one of the prevalent fads. It was pi adicted that cats' fur would be used for trimming, too. and the same is in evidence. Purple is very much the fash ionable color, but it does not necessarily go with line linen. Girdles are not yet obsolete. At least several have been seen on actresses at public balls. Very beautiful examples of art embroidery are seen as tea cloths at the ' 'five o'clock Oolong." Puffed and (lat scarfs for men are giving way rapidly to the small knot four-in-hand. An exchange makes the im portant announcement that "tall girls are the society favorites." The new French zephyrs are very stylish and will create a breeze of admiratiod. Eccentricity continues to mark the use of the pages of a note ?sheet in social correspondence. Spring dress goods, already on sale, present many new, beauti ful and stylish effects. Models of the spring hat will soon be here from Paris. Then the magpies wi'.l retire in dis gust. Among the best dressed men one is led to believe that pointed ed shoes are going out of style1 Sateens, gingham, mousselines and crepe cloths are to have tho floor next summer. Passementerie increases in "elegant effects" and the price per yard increases correspond ingly. London girls of the chic sort are wearing a square-top, wide brimmed felt hat. It is just as well to note that Mme Oarnot "frequently appears in an India shawL" A new article at table, and a superfluous one is a silver bread server like a trowel. Hostesses who distribute cig arette cases to the men as cotil lion favors are condemned for encouraging an obnoxious habit. Girls in these days wnodo not envelope their heads in veils have, in a majority of cases, "a complexion worth looking at." A safe and sure oure for Catarrh and Hay Fever is Mayers' Magnetio Catarrh Cure. A three moots' treatmont for $1. and absolutely guaranteed. It is used by vapor inhalation, ana is the only medicine that reaches the affected parts and sure to cure. For Bale by JL O. Clayton, Wolla A Haymaker. H. 3. Hcransge, Sliinnston, W. Va.; John Dunkin, Bridgeport, W. Va. The office doesn't seek the man in Washington. He generally arrives there before the office gets out of .bed. Best Grade Cabinet Photographs well mounted, Artisto Paper. Fine, Finish?ThomfsoxBbos., Cor. Pike and Chestnut. A. 8. Wells will have you. measured by a practical tailor. (Mr. Haymaker). Gents suits #18 to *80 and 000 of Wans maker's finest samples to 1 select from. The report that has been cir culated that Capt. Ham Rose, the popular B. & 0. passenger con ductor, had been offered M0.000 by the South Penn Co., for a tract of land he owned near Cherry Camp is 6aid to be a fake and was started bv Capt. Ed. Pickett in order to get even with Capt. Rose for a huge joke he had on Capt Ed. There isn't anybody wfco deserves a 840.000 streak of luck, however, any more than Capt. Rose.?Journal. Head what .tlr.Krcil Wallace Inn to *ny Mayers Dru? Co.. Oakland, M.I. Orntmkak:?X wish to exprcsR mv appreciation of tho merits of v.it.r (;?. tarrh Cure. 1 have suffered with catarrh 1 for fiveyoars, and can truly kh- jt has giyen me more rollef than aby other medicine X have tried, and it will un I doubtedly effect a permanent cure. All ?it needs is a fair and impurtial trin] to ?establishits universalis v. rv trulv, FnKi> WaUjao*. Mill Point, W. Va. . It lias cured Mr. Wallace of one of the I worst cases of catarrh on record, with a I i,e?y discharge of the throat. On.' I bottle is guaranteed to Hire. It will I cure you. otherwise 110 char ire. For I snjo by all druggist*. Price * 1. Nearly half of the voters in j I Chicago are foreign born, aud lone-third of the American voters in that city were born of foreign j parents. The voters boi American parents are th decidedly in the minority. *500 WILL*HE GIVEN i For any case of rheumatism which can- ' not be cured by Dr. Drummond ? ; Lightning Bemedy. The proprietors do not hide this offer, but print it in bold type on all their circulars, wrap- ! pers, printed matter, and through the columns of newspapers everywhere. It will work wonders?one hottle ouri11;; nearly every case. If tho druggists has not got it. ho will order it, or it will be I seut to any address by prepaid Wtpress on receipt of price, Druinmoiid Medicine Co., 48-50 Maiden Lane, New York, Agents wanted. JHHKg There is a fortune , ready for the man who will invent a type writing machine that can spell correctly and show even a speak ing acquaintance with the Engl ish language. Persons who are subjected to attacks PiiiiiiSSS ??'10,??? almost invariably tell by their feelings when to expect au i attack. If Chamberlain's colic, chol. ru i and diarrhooa remedy is taken as soon as these mrmptons appear, they can ward off the disease. 8uch persons should always keep the remedy at hand, ready for immediate use when needed. Two or three doses of it at the right time will savo them much siiflcniutr-. Fur ?ale by fl. L. Wells, druggist. u The statement of Assistant Secretary Spalding that there is little danger now to be appre hended in this country from cholera, will be hailed with great relief. This statement is borne out by a cable dispatch to the effect that only one case of cholera ?prists now in Hamburg. Are These Names tfoodJbiiiougli' Amelie Rives, Hamlin Garland, . Marion Crawford, Paul Lin dau, Jerome K. Jerome, Oatulle Mendes, Edgar Fawcett, Fran hois Coppee, Julian Hawthorne, mbrose Bierce, Anatole France, etc., etc. Mary J. Hawker, J("L.anoe Falconer.") Well, they are a few from a long list of dis tinguished writers of fiction who are under agreement to write for Town Topics jTWeekly) and '?Tales from Town Topics" (Quarterly.) Each week's issue of Town Topics will contain a short story and one or two chap ters of a novel from one of these great authors. Tales from Town Topics, the now world-famed Quarterly, will hereafter contain in each num ber, m addition to the excellent things culled from past vears' issues of Town Topics, complete original novel. To secure the best, a prize of $1,000 is offe.-ed. , No one who enjoys the highest Iclass of fiction, and would be law cow-ant with all that pertains to good society. ca:i afford to be without Town Topics every week, There is so much inter esting reading in it and in the u a club subscription mitv, u i suPP'y any family with abundant reading of the theyeartertamin>f character a11 RATES Town Topics per annum,lM.00. ! subscription for three months. $1.00. Tales from Town Topics, ner number. 50 cents. PerP SnSJ th clubbed, per annum, *5. get beginning of these great "an scribo at once through any book or newsdealer, or remit by cheque, money order, or reg T??W^ Topics Snnl \n Street' New York. Town Topics? sample copy newil6 jUSt pnnted a lot of new blank warranty deeds, with thencw form of acknowledgment. wfe6PriDted on triple extra white bond paper, and they have no supenoi- ,n the State. Each on ? shoet 8**28 inches. One dozen, 60 cts., by mail. tf UlOVVIUgO Mia gcvvillg bV WC ?>nv j circuses?do clown, no crowd. This is a sad travesty on tho re I liffion of ourfathers. Christand i hiin crucified was good enough | for them. From glorious old Paul to Sam Jones?from a saint I to a smut bag! Tis enough to make the angels weep.?Ex. The bright and alert editor of the Glenville Fatl\flnder is op posed to the stale news. Last week he thus admonishes his pat-1 rons: "Please send in your! locals when fresh. We don't I like to publish a birth after the child has been weaned, a mar-1 riage after the honeymoon is over, or the death of a man after his widow has married again." .tttentlcii Ladle*. Miss Maggie Tricket makes a j specialty of teaching the National Garment System and dress mak-1 ing of every description, The ladies are cordially invited to call at her rooms at the Chapin home, opposite the Episcopal church on Main Street. Clarksburg, W. Va. 53-ly. Positive Bargains in Men's Ladies', Misses and Children's Shoes and Rubbers at John T. Griflin's. tf. Lies 5?DWICK. ?:0:? Bus Line and Express. ?:0:? Splendid conveyances to me?t all trains. Passengers called for in any part of the city. Elegant carnages for weddings, funerals, &c. Accidents Unheard Of. Only careful drivers employed. CHARACTER! TREE of LIFE and TREE ofDEATH. Two Paintings 19x20 inches. JWFlnely Lithographed In Fine Color* cacti. The Graudenl and Mom btrlklng Illustration <?r HUMAN CHARACTER EVER PAINTED LOOKOUT FOR IBY AGFNTS! BUY THESE PICTURES! GET HAPPY NOW, AND BE HAPPY FOREVER! AGENTS WANTED! munVo"iu" Rev. J.A.Hammond, 10-2IJ West Union. W. Viu Cures Constipation AN ILLUSTRATED WEEKLY. : j Acknowledged to be the most beautiful!; illus trated Publication in tbe World. THE IDEAL KODEBN WEEKLY. The brightest, wittiest, wisest and moHt original of all clerer Weekllcn. It* colored Cartoon? nre superior to anything ever before produced toy any publication. PRICE TEN CENTS. Jt.Oq A YEAR. (Send six cents for sample copy.) TRUTH, 67 Fifth Avenue, New York. PiDNEERWDRKS, ? steam Engines Me fe( QOl^ERS CIRCULAR ? Saw Mills etc CLARKE5BURGH.W. Va. lioiupi w It is a wonderful remedy, which is alike benefi cial to you and your children. Such is Scott's Emulsion of Pure Norwegian Cod Liver Oil and Hypophos phites of Lime and Soda. It checks wasting in the children and produces sound, healthy flesh. It keeps them from taking cold and it will do the same for you Scott's Euulslon coin Coughs, Colli, Consumption, Scrofula and mil Anaemic and Waiting Diseases. Prevents wasting in children. Al most as palatable as milk. Get only the itenulne. l'ropored by Soctt & Bnwno, Chemists, New York. Sold by all Druggists. SUBSCRIBE Scott's E TELE6RAM FOR THE G. W. & H. M. SHUTTEWQRTH. Hursev - Insurance ~ Apency L.EE. H.VANCE, Proprietor. All the Best Companies Prompt Payment o| Losses. Pike Street, Clarksburi White Oak Planksj Walnut, Poplar, Ash Logs and Lum| ber, Staves, & CO, Oilioe and I'arils near B. & O. Depot Clarksburg. W. Va. DEiiljEITS IN DRY GOODS, NOTIONS, GROCERIES, HARI WARE, BOOTS AND SHOES, SALT, NAILS, TIMOTHY SEED AND GARDEN SEEDS. KU'S WALL PAPER, SYRUPS, OILS, MO LASSES, FLOUR AND MEAL. / PRODUCE BOUGHT. ccia. <sc watee street. Goods Delivered Free in the City. ? m HILL'S from persons who have been cured by the use of WE GUARANTEE K CUBE J and invite the most | , tion iih to our responslbll-1 ity and the merit* of our Tablets. Double Chloride of Gold Tablets Will completelydestroy thodesire forTOBACCO In from 3 toB days. Perfectly barm ? lest; cause no slckneH*, and may bo gl ven In a cap of ten or coffee without the knowl edge of the patient, who will voluntarily stop smoking or chewing in a few days. DRUNKENNESS an4 MORPHINE HABIT out any effort oa the* part of ' tho patieut, by the use of our SPECIAL FORMULA OOLD CURB TABLETS. During treatment patients are allowed the frco u*o of Liquor or Mor phine until such time as they shall voluntarily give thorn up. Wo send particulars and pamphlet of testimonials free, and shall M glad to placo sufferers from any of these habitH in communica tion with persons who have been cured by the uno of our Tablets. .L'S TABLET8 are for sale by all first-class ?ts at f | .OO per package. If your drugglot does not keep them, enclose us $ | and we will send you, by return mall, a package or o 'Ablets. Write your name and address plainly, and state whether Tablets are for Tobacco, Morphine or Liquor Habit. DO NOT BE DECEIVED into purchasing any of the various uoBtrums thnt are in'ing offered forsale. Auk foT HILL'S TABLETS and take no other. Manufactured only by Tn* Ohio Chemical Oo.: __ Drar Sir:?I have been faata* cure for tobacco habit, and found it *?? do what you claim for it. I us^l tea cen? worth of the utrongcxtchewing tobiu-coa???>? n- and f rom one to Ave elgara; or I would sinose r from ten to lorty pipes of tobacco. Have chewea ami Htnoked for twenty-live years, and twojwickagw of your Tablets cured mo so i have no desire for it. B. M. JAYLOUD, Leslie, Mlcb. r ~ , DonBs -mum*s; Int r. i? ?HI? Ohwical Co. :?Grnti.kmrn Some time ago! sent "ortt] of your Tablets for Tobacco Habit. Iwwjj tu ? I??Jf1i.rl*ht ?n.n,I? although 1 wan both a heavysmokeraad chewer, they did the work In lean than three days. I am cured. M Truly yours, MAT ILK W JOHNSON, P. O. BoX?* PITTSBOROH, PA* ry won\\?l!?l&wr,nCAL gives me pleasure tojjjjjf-j r Honor f,or ?2.ur Tttl,u'u- *>" was strongly addicted to the or . 1 t,hrou?11 't friend, I was led to try your Tablet*. He wnsa heaVyaaa andwillnnffiSJfwVi? * Hu"r UHl,,K y??r Tablets but three days he quit you Ju oM^r Ll^M,, J ,iuor of any klnd- 1 have walt.-d four month before writing you, in order to know tho euro was permanent. Yours truly, c/w MBS. HELEN MORRISON* 1 Kv??J15IdCi?5SwnL|iCh^?5,tT,^*,5f:_VT<n,rTttbletohnr.,performedamtafic InS52df I Addrom all Ordci-M to THE OHIO CHEMICAL CO., I OS Opera Block. LIMA, OHIO.