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VOL. 1. HARTFOBD, OHIO COUNTY, KY MAY 5, 1875. NO. 18. All leuer? on easiness mast ne aanressea to Jon. P. BaTT Co., Publishers. AJD VEHTISTN G- RATES, tiT. JONATHAN. BTJOHH C. Silt. There's many an excellent saint St. George with his dragon and lance; St. Patrick, so jolly and quaint; St. Vitns. the taint of the danee, St. Denis, the saint of the Gaul; St. Andrew, the saint of the Scot; But JoxatSax, the youngest of all, Is the mightiest saint of the lot? He wean a most serious face, , Well worthy-a martyr's posjssilsgf Sat it isn't all owtsg-ia.gaoe, Bat partly to thinking and guessing. In sooth oar American stint Has rather a peculiar bias, And I nerer hare heard a complaint Of hit being excessively pjoni. He's fond of finaneiaHmproremet, And is always extremely Inclined In starting some practical movement For mending the morals and mind. So yon ask me what wonderfal labors SU Jonathan ever has done V To rank with his calendar neighbors? Jast listen a moment to one. One day when a flash In the air Split his meeting'house fairly asunder, Quoth Jonathan, "Uow, I declare, They're dreadfully careless with thunder!" So he fastened a rod to the steeple; And now when the lightning comes 'round, He keeps it from building and people By tunning it into the ground. Reflecting with pleasant emotion On the capital job he had done, Quoth Jonathan, "I have a notion Improvements have barely begun, If nothing's created in vain As ministers often inform as The lightning that' wasted, 'tis plain, Is really something enormous?" ITMle ciphering over the thing, At length he discovered a plan To catch the Electrical King, And make him the servantof mini And now. In an orderly way. Be flies on the fleetest of pinions, And carries the news of the day All ever his mailer's dominions. One morning, while taking a stroll, Ha heard a lugubrious cry Hie the shriek of a suffering soul In a hotpital'standing near by; Anon such a terrible groan Saluted St. Jonathan's ear, That his bosom which wasn't of iton e Was melted with pity to hear. That night he invented a charm So potent, that folkr who employ it, In losing a leg or an arm Don't suffer but rather enjoy it! A miracle, yon must Ulow, As good M the best of his brothers; And blessed St. Jonathan now Is patron of cripples and mothers. There's many an excellent saint, 8U Oeerge, with his sword had lance, 8t Patrick, so jolly and quaint; SL Vitus, the saint of dance, 8U Denis, the taint of the Gaul; St. Andrew, the taint of the Scot; But Jonathan, youngest of all. Is the mighiest taint of the lot. a Forgotten valentine. chapter r. YtiK iJESSENOER WHO BORE IT, And who never delivered it. Perhaps It would have been too much to expect of mm that be should do eo; loo .much to ex pect that the little packet, carelessly taken and thrust away amongst others, would ever enter bis bead again. At any rate it did not. He was a young man still. though he had been for some years widower; and he had fallen in love, and was on the way to team his fate. It cannot be flattering to a young lady: if she knows it, that her suitor should be capable-of taking thought of any one be sides berseli; but certainly fair Hugh Bainham tried to believe, that he was not making his own happiness altogether the first consideration. There was the well being ol hie little girl to be thought of; and what did he know about bringing up little girls? lie had heard sensible people cay, and he was ready enough now to ac cept the dictum, that the wisest thing that a man in his condition could do would be to marry again; wisest both for his own future and his child's. He said this to himself as he stood in Evelyn Ne- vilie s drawing-room,hatin hand, waiting, looking out upon the bare branches which were soon to be green again, and wonder dering in a desultory fashion, if this Feb ruary day would bring him another spring-time, or only the desolate branch es, the dead leaves whirling about, and the cold sky beyond. He had not long to wait. When she came into the room and that thrill went through his heart which the presence of one we love alone can bring, it must have left some mark upon his face; for she knew why he had come, and in a few rapid arguments had decided upon ber answer, tie was rich; but she did not care so much about that, not knowing what it was to be anything else; tie was Jsir Hugh ltainham; but6he didn't care for that either, her pride being or another sort: he was good, generous, and devoted; these things she did care for. He loved ber; and be came on a day when that same pride of hers was smart ing under a sense of neglect. In the lew seconds allowed her before he spoke, Ev lyn Neville made her decision. She had thought that he knew, and was jealous of. ber friendship with that cousin Frank. whom she fancied might one day be near er than a cousin. But that was over. The cousins had kept up a childish babit of .ewJianging valentines; and to-day there wae AOthing from him, while her own had gone as usual. That was th humilating part of it. If the had broken through the custom, it would have been jmJI; but that he should be the first I and when, too, he had girn her cause to ex pect that his would be no ordinary valen UOJtl Here, within ber reach, was lb id tans of punishing him; at any rate, of letting mm kouw bob ma not care. Evelvn listened to Sir Hugh with forced attention; but he knew nothing of that. When he spoke ot tiis little girl faltering!?, she roused up and saw tb etrong earnestness and anxiety in th Ban's face; and, strange to say, this touched her more just then than any pas eionate, lorar's pleading from bis lips would hare done. She turned towards him suddenly, and put her hand into his, and said, speaking of the small Cecilia "She shall be very dear to me, and pre' clous: I will care for her as much as you could desirs. And when Sir Hugh had left her, she did not repent. It u true that there came upon her a certain sense of being bound; of having done what could not be undone; and that half rebellious desire to be tree, which is almost always inseparable from an act that seals one's own fate. And then the drawing-room was rather lone ly: the frees outside the window cot a ghostly look, and seemed to wrap them selves up tignter as tne log gathered round them; and altogether, she thought she would just go and tell her brother, by c ; - i I r 1 a . l. .1 way vi cuuviucing ucrseii luttb me tuiug was settled. When she told him, he lifted up his eyebrows and stared at her. "Is it true? You look as . if it were. Bather scared, and that sort of thing. Not that there is anything to be scared about; nly 1 suppose it s proper. Hem I I might have thought of Frank Neville; but this is wiser.'' She bit her lip, but never answered him. She wished he had not said that, about Frank, and she didn't like the word wiser. What had wisdom to do with it? She started from her sleep that night, with a mist before her eyes And a great throbbing at ber heart, for Frank's voice was in hfr ears. Would be care 7 But what use to ask. now that it was too late? And that it was too late no one knew better than herself; for to her. hav ing once decided, publicly as it were, change would have been impossible. And on ber wedding-day she was to air Hugh a radiant princess, far away above ltn; stooping to crown him witb tbe blessing of ber love. Any one who had seen him that day might have doubted abotit its being altogether, or even very much for his daughter's sake that he took this step. I have reason to be grateful, ' be said to his new brother-in-law, when the peecbifying was over, and the bride was going away to change her dress. ueorge jNevuie looked at ner and nod ded. 'She's a good girl enough a little self-willed, perhaps; but then she L&s al- aya bad her own way. "And will have it still, I hope," said Sir Hugh. "If I don't make her happy, shall deserve to be a miserable man all my life." in years to come be recalled the speech, and wondered whether some strange mis giving had moved him to utter it. Just then frank Seville was saying to Evelyn, "So you did not think me worth an answer!' She was passing through the throne to wards the door, and she never faltered or raised her head. No one knew that the words fell upon her with a sudden chill, like a cold hand grasping her heart. She had seen her cousin amongst the guests, and knew he was looking miserably ill. but she bad been too much occupied to think aoout mat. "What do you mean, Frank?' "Oh; not much. Valentines don't re quire answers in a general way; but 1 think you might have given me a few words last February. However you'll keep my secret. No one knows it but you, unless it is your husband. What's the matter Evelyn ? You look as if you didn t understand.' "I don't" "You must have had it. I missed the post over-night, and gave it to Rainham, there, as I knew he would see you the next day. "lo my husbandl "Yes; I'll ask him" "Frank," she said with a heavy hand on his arm, "lorget all this. Is ever speak of it for my sake." He looked at her with a perplexed ex pression of enqmry, but he saw that she was white and Hurried, and gave up the point "Well, we have always been friends; have we not? I would ask you vet for your good wishes, as you have mine; but tbe doctors say there s something bete, touching hie chest; "and I may not live to never mind 1 God bless you, Eveyln 1" CHAPTER II. ins vare ok tub tear; to come. Sir Hugh brought his wife home: and his hair was not grey, neither bad any premature wrinkles marked hie face. To bis servants there appeared no change in him, either for better or for worse. He was just the same grave, silent, rather deliberate master they remembered. They did think, indeed, that he was dread- lully polite to his lady; but perhaps that was proper before tervants. air liugu, taking velyn to tbe draw ing-rooms, winch be had caused to be al tered and brightened for her, turned and said to her, "Welcome home." And as he said it. the memory of his own dreams of that home stung him eo bitterly that lie hair put out bis arms to take into them the Evelyn he had once known. But she never saw the move ment; and would not have heeded it if she had seen. She passed on into the room, the brilliant light of which seemed to hurt Sir Hugh's eyes, for he put his hand over them suddenly; and for a moment he stood at the door, irresolute; then closed it. gently, and went to see after his little girl. That was natural enough, they said those gossips down stairs who were always on the" watch. But why didn't he take bis new wile with him 7 And why did he stay with tbe child, hour after hour, till none of the evening remained? The first evening, too! Above all, why, when the household had retired, and all was ouiet. did a tall, slight figure, which rustled a little as it passed, go into the nursery and kneel down beside the sleeping child and sob? The nurse saw, for she was not asleep, as my lady fancied; and she was not likely to Keep it to berself, either. These and such things were puzzling. At first they formed a constant source of whisperings mm BuuKiDgH oi wise neaas; oui grauuaiiy the gloss of newness wore away from them; the dull days swept on, and some thing of the grimness of the stone heads that guarded tbe sweep of steps at the hall-door seemed to have crept into the house. It was so still and silent; so mo notonous. But for the small Cecilia, it would have been unutterably dismal. But she was a child, and had childish ways wnicn remained unchecked, bhe was quite young enough to take very kindly to the new mamma, who was so.beautiful and so good to her. "Not like nurse said she would be ugly and cross," she said to her favorite playfellow "but good. I think she could have brought the little princess to lire again, as well as tbe fairy did. You never saw such eyes in your life as she has got; just like the pool under the wil lows, where we are not to go, Charlie, you know; down, as u you couldn't ever see the bottom; ever so deep. And she kisses me too." To which the boy replied, with de cision, that she couldn't be a fairy in that case, for fairies never kissed auybody; it wasn t lucky, that was unless they were wicked fairies. And it was all very well now. bnt when Cecil married him, he shouldn't allow her to kiss anybody. By-and-by, however, as Cecil grew old er, she used to wonder in her wise little head what made her father and mother, when tbey were alone, talk to each other, if they did talk, so like "company.'' That was her idea of it. She jumped up from the piano one day. and waltzed round to me looisioui Ufcuauy iuiiuiium a icci, w mi a sudden thougbttliat she would find out. "Well," said Evelyn, looking at the nursed-UD lips, which evidently had a question upon them, "what's the matter? Is your new music-lesson too hard r "Air new music-lesson is is a bdgetty crank," said Cecil, hesitating for an ex pression strong enough; "but it's not that. I was just wondering why you and papa-" Sir Hugh let his book (all with a sud den noise, and went outof the room, pass ing the child, but taking no notice ot her. 'Why you and papa, went on Cecil, reflectively, "are eo odd, like grand visi tors. When there's any one here I know I have to sit still, and not tumble my frock, nor cross my feet; but when there s no one, it's different" "Your papa and I are not children, eaid Lady ltainham, "Grown-up people must be steady, uis." "Then I dou't want to be grown-up. And I'm sure, quite sure, that I'll never be married, if one is to do nothing but sit sit all day long, and have no fun."v Lady ltainham bent down to kiss the resolute lips that uttered this bold decis ion, and then her lace grew sad. inere were times when even to her pride the lile she led seemed almost too hard to bear times when she was mad enough to think she would tell Sir Hugh that the act which stamped him in her eyes as base and dishonored was no secret from her, as he doubtless believed it to be. But she could not do it. It seemed to her that the consciousness that she knew would only make him more contemptible in his own eyes as well as in hers. It would but widen the gulf, and make what she was able to bear now utterly intolerable. For she never doubted but that the purport of the letter was known to him, and he had suppressed it for his own ends. And the poor boy who wrote it was dead. There was the great mischief of it all. If he had been living and well, eo tender a halo might not have rested over the past, and all in the past connected with him, so bit ter a resentment might not have been nursed in silence against the wrong which her husband bad done them both. But Frank had lived but a few months alter her weddinir. and she never saw him again. He was dead, and she had killed him no, not she, but fair Hugh. She was thinking such thoughts one day when something made her look up, and she met Sir Hugh's eyes fixed upon her. There wasso peculiar an expression in them that she could not prevent a cer tain prond antagonistic inquiry coming Into her own. He went towards her with his book open in his hand. He bent don and put his finger on a' line in the naire. drawine her attention to it. How much the wife is dearer than the bride.' This struck me rather, that's all." he said and went away. Evelyn sat on by the window, out tne book dropped from her fingers, and she covered her face. What did he mean? If he hadonly not gone away then I "How could he do that one thing?" she said to herself. "He meant the line as a reproach tome. And I would have loved him it is possible that I do love him, in spite of it? Am I so weak and false? I want so much to comfort him sometimes that I half forget, and am tempted. But I never will I never must. I used to be strong, I shall be strong still" And so the same front of icy indiffer ence met Sir Hugh day by day and year by year, and be knew none oi tue strug gles. But he wrapped himself up more and more in his uooks ana ms pruuieins and writings. New MSS. began to grow out of old ones; lor he had always been given to authorship, and the accumula tion of papers on various subjects. In these days a little fairy used to come in from time to time with a pretence of ar ranging them for him. She would open and shut theetudy door with a great show of quietness, seat herself on a big chest which was full of old papers, and in which she meant to have a glorious rum mage some day; and begin folding upneat little packages; stitching loose sheets to gether; reading a bit here and there, and looking ud now and then with a sueges tivesigh till he would lay aside his work, and declare she was the plague of his life. This was the signal always for the forced gravity to disappear from Cecil's face; for her to jump up, radiant and gleeful, and just have one turn round the room to shake off the cobwebs, as she said. "But you know you couldn't do without me, and I do help very much. What do you know about stitching papers together? And you are a most ungrateful man to say I am a plague, only you do not mean it. I wonder what you'll do when I am married." "Married I" echoed Sir Hugh. "Go and play with your last new toys, and don't talk nonsense." But the word worried him, and made him thoughtful. When he came to con sider it, the fairy was no longer exactly a child, though she was as merry as a youni kitten. He did a little sum on his fingers in sheer absence of mind, and found out that in a few weeks she would 3e eighteen. It was twelveyears since he went, that February day, to plead her cause and his own with .hvulyn rieville. He used to go now sometimes to the win dow and look out, and remember the day when he had stood at that other window watching bare branches and wondering. about his future. He knew it now. If only he could find out why it was thus, What had changed herall at once, on her wedding-day, from the very moment, an it seemed to him, that she became his wife? Sir Hugh pushed his hair away from his forehead and sighed. :He was getting grey by this time, out then he was past forty, and Evelyn, his wife, must be two-and-tbirty at least It occurred to him that he had noticed no alteration in her. She was as beautiful as ever, with the beauty of a statue that chills you when you touch it. He! thought he would look at her that evening and see il he could trace no change, such as there was in him self. He did look, when the room was brilliant with soft light, and she sat lan guidly turning over a book of engravings with Cecil. They formed a strange con trast; the cold, proud, indifferent beauty of the one face and the eager animation of tbe other. The girl's one hand rested on Lady Rainham's shoulder, caressingly, for the tie between these two was more like the passion of first friendship than tbe affection ot mother and daughter. Suddenly Cecil pointed down the page and said something in a whisper, and Lady Rainham turned and looked at her with a smile. As he saw the look, just such a thrill went through Sir Hugh's heart as he had felt when she came to him twelve years ago to give him his answer. No, time had not done her so much wrong as it bad to himself, and there was one hope in which she had never disappointed him her care for his daughter. "for her sake. " he said that night when Cecilia was gone, "I am always grateful to you." xmi ne uiu not. wau ior any reply, tie never did. Perhaps be might not have got one if he had; or perhaps he thought tbe time bad gone by for any change to be possible. Lady Kainbam looked from tbe window the next morning and saw Cecil under a tall laurel, reading something. And the sun had come out; there was a twittering of birds in the shrubbery, and the sky was all necked with tiny white clouds. It was Valentine's Day, and Lady Bain ham knew that the girl was reading over again the one which Sir Hugh had hand ed her with such a troubled face at the breakfast table. What did that unquiet expression mean; and why did Cecil, when she saw it look from him to her self, Lady Rainham, fold up her packet hurriedly and put it away! It meant, on Sir Hugh's part, that hp knew what it was and didn't like it; that he could not help thinking of his life. doubly lonely, without the child. But this never occurred to his wife. Presently some one joined Cecil in tbe laurel walk, and though of course Lady Rainham could not hear their words, she turned in stinctively away from the window. Cecil was saying just then, "No, it isn't likely. Who should send me valentines? They're old-fashioned, vulgar, out ot date, Charlie, mind I won't have any more." "Why not?" "Because I'm serious now for some reason or other they don't like my hav ing them," said Cecil, motioning towards the house. "And it's a shocking thing to say, but I'm sure there's something not straight between papa and Lady ltain ham, some misunderstanding, you know, I'm sure that they are dreadfully fond of each other, really,but it's all so strange; I do so want to do something that would bring it right, and I shall have noth ing to say to you till it ts right. ' "Cecill" "I mean it. I am a sort of go-between; no, not that exactly; but they both care for me so much. They don't freeze up when 1 m there. 1 can t lancv them with out me; it would be terrible.'1 "But Cecil, you promised" "No, I didn't And if had, I shouldn't keep it, of course; that is, you wouldn't want me to. It would kill papa to lose me, and as toLady Rainham, why I never cared for any one so much in all my life. I didn't know it was in me till she woke it up. You remember what I used to say about her eyes. They are just like that; like a beautiful deep pool; all dark, you know, till it draws you close and makes you want to know so much what is un derneath. Here Lady Rainhanfcame to the win dow again, but the two figures had passed out of the laurel walk, and she saw them no more. In the afternoon Cecil went as usual to her father's study, but he was stooping over a book and did not notice her. tie was, in fact, thinking the thought that had troubled him in the morning.but Cecil fancied he was busy, and looked about to see what mischiel she could do. It flashed upon her that here was a fine opportunity for the old chest and so she seated her self on the carpet and began her rummage. Presently Sir Hugh, hearing tbe rustle of papers, looked round. "I should like to know who is to be my fairy, Order," he eaid, "amongst all that mess. "I will, papa. I shall give a tap with my wand, and you will see it all come straight But look here. Isn't this to mammaf It has never been opened, and it s like a valentine. Sir Hugh looked at the large "Mies Neville" on the envelope, and knitted his brows in a vain effort to remember any thing about it He couldn't It was very strange, lie fancied he knew tbe writ ing, but yet could not tell whose it was certainly not his own nor recollect any thing about the packet. He considered a little and then said. "You had better take it to her." He took a pen and wrote on the cover "Cecil has just found tbis amongst my old papers. 1 have no idea how or when it came into my poaseaeion, neither can make out the hand, though it doesn't seem altogether strange. Perhaps you can solve the mystery. CHAPTER III. ITS MESSAGE AFTER MAN7 DAYS. It vras in verse, as Frank's valentines had always been; halting, and with queer rhymes and chances ol tbe measure. was full of the half humorous tenderness ot quiet friendship: and it ended with hone that she would make "old Hugh happier than his fir6t wife did, that was if she accepted him; and with a demand for her congratulations upon his own ap proacbing marriage; since be was "tb happiest fellow alive" and couldn't keep tbe news Irom ber, though it was a secret from all beside. And the evening grew old; the white flecked Bky turned colder, and the moon came out liut Lady rtainham eat with this voice from the dead in ber hand, mo lionless; full of humiliation and remorse. And she was thinking of many years of bitterness and sorrow and pride, and of a heavy sacrifice to a myth, for she had never loved him. And her husband whom she did love whom she had so wronged how was she to atone to him? Byand-by the door opened and Cecil stole in. And she saw Ladv Rainham's face turned towards the window with the moonbeams lighting it, and thought she had never seen anything so beautiful in in her life. "Mamma," she said, softly, "why don't you come down? We are waiting, papa and I; and it a cold up here. ' I will come, said Lady ltainham; but her voice was strange. Cecil knelt down besides the chair and drew her mother's arms round her neck. "How cold you are! Dear mamma.is any thing the matter? Cannot I comfort you?" Lady Kalnham bent down and beld her in a close embrace. "Mv darling, von do always. I can not tell whether I want comfort now or not. 1 am going down to your father, and Cecil, I must go alone; I have some thing to say. feue went into the drawing-room.straight up to where her husband sat listlessly in his chair at the window. He started when he saw her, and said something hurriedly about ringing forliht,butBheBtoppedhim. "It will be better thus, for what lbave to say. Hugh, I have come to ask your forgiveness." Sir Hugh did not answer. The speech took him by surprise, and she had never called him Hugh before, since their mar riage. He had time enough to tell him self that it was only another mockery, and would end in the old wav: But standing there, with Frank's letter in her hand, she told him all, not sparing herself, and then asked if he could ever forgive her. She was not prepared for the great love which answered her; which had lived unchanged through all her cold ness and repulses; and which drew ner to him closer now perhaps than it might have done if her pride had never suffered under those years of wretchedness. Cecil never knew exactly what had happened; but when her father put his arms round her and called her his bless ing, she looked up at him with an odd sort of consciousness that in some way or other the old valentine found in ber rum mage among his papers had to do with the change she saw. And it was her doing. So she made up her wilful mind straightway to exult and triumph over the fact to poor Charlie; and then, if he wanted to send ber another next year why. after a proper amount of teasing and suspense, which was good for bim and kept him in order, she would perhaps say that he might. MISTAKEN CONFIDENCE. How a Flaxen-Haired Youth was De ceived in an Instansaneoas Depila tory f From tbe Denver Miner.! There is a young man by the name of Brasher boarding on California street, who was wont to behold bis reflection in the mirror with mingled pride and sails' faction, until his gaze would fall upon the capillary covering ot his cranium, which was tbe color ol well-bleached tlax. And then his optics dropped in shame, and his manly head was bowed with grief, like unto one who has been circumambulating about the ragged edge for a century with out the faintest ray of hope of ever getting off until uabriel toots "Ke-ise up, W m. Riley," upon his angelic bugle. Last week a peripatetic medicine render called at Brasher's boarding house, heralding the praises ofthe "Invincible Jiack-action Kbeumatic Uissolver, and the"lnstanta neous Afghanistan uair Keorganizer, warranted to turn the whitest hair to a iet black in an incredibly brief space ol period, both ol which be was prepared to furnish for the small sum of four bits per box. Brasher welcomed the philanthropic dispenser of hair powders as a long lost second-ccusin, and oblivious of the fact that he bad promised to settle his wash- bill that afternoon, invested all bis collat erals in a box of the "Instantaneous," etc.. and once more was superlatively happy. This vale of lachrymal effusions to him no longer was a barren wilderness, and tbe vision of a caput crowned with raven locks brought a smile of beavenly satis faction upon his countenance, and made him feel as though all was not deceit and hollow mockery. Early that evening he retired to his room, anxious to apply the miraculous preparation which should bring about the desired change. Eager he perused the directions which said: ''Mix with water to the consistency of paste, spread upon a linen rag. and applv to the part desired to be remedied." Now Brasher thought this rather strange, as he was under the impression that the vender had said some thing about dissolving in a gallon oi rain water, and applying as a wash; but here were the directions, and he would follow them implicitly. But as be could not pro cure a linen rag without impairing the symmetry of his only shirt, he visited the room of a spinster across the hall, and surreptitiously abstracted therefrom night-cap and pair or hose, itelurning he securely fastened tbe hose to the sides of the night-cap, spread his preparation upon tne insme oi inenrsi nameu arucie and upon that portion of the latter sup posed to be encircled by tbe garter, and then adjusting the cap upon his head, and bringing the hose down over his imraacu- . Tt 1 . J .1 .1 1," 1 laie AuroHiuca, ucu mem uiiucr uia uuiu, and retired. Soon he felt a peculiar stinging eensa tion about his head and face that render ed sleep almost impossible, and once when he did sink into a perturbed slumber. be dreamed that his barber was shampooing him with nitric acid, and then dressing his hair with pepper sauce, and combing it down with a horse hay-rake. The next morning he essayed to remove the im orovised covering, but it wouldn't come In vain he soaked his head in the wash bowl, and pulled at the hose with an en ergy born of desperation; the right-cap stuck closer than a postage stamp or a poor relation. At last with a spasmodic lerk. he succeeded in removing it but with it came the preponderance of hair and hide it had covered, and Brasher didn't know whether he held in his hands the scalp of an Albino woman or the re mains of a poodle dog tnat nad been run over by a seed-drill. And now his head might answer for an exercise globe in a district school, only that, reckoning from his nose as the meridian of Greenwich, there is no dividing line between Asia and Africa, and the Suez canal absorbs the entire isthmus. He savs that as soon as his scalp recovers sufficiently from its ten dencies to allow of wearing a wig, and he can procure bail to answer to the charge Of petty larceny preferred by the spins ter, he is going to seek and have an inter view with the unregenerated fraud, who gave him the right preparation, but the wrong recipe. DEFERRED CORRESPONDENCE. TIM VARIOUS. TimFlaialaea nia Hurt ford Experience and JonrurTR to Ownnhore Wkal lie Did, Saw mmA Heard at the Yellow- oanKa. Correspondence of Tar Harttosd HiraLD. Cumb ffoLLXR, Aprile the 24et. Well, Mr. Editur, Cnne Holler's ol rite yit I got mi paper, an He rite yu sum more. Well, es I wos tellin yu. we wos tawkin, an drectly a big bel wos rung, an I axt Mr. Cox. wbut's thet fur? He sed. it's corte. An we ol broke up an went up I tbar. I Es we wos goin. Mr. Cox sed. Tim, yu bin ritin 2 our paper snm things thet de- fleets on mi conduck es a dark. Ses I, whut bout them clames? He ses, yes. I Thet wussent me, ees I. It's sum uv thet I Various tribe over the knlc. It want yu7 t 1J t .u:t. I oco uc. iiuc tium uv vucw a uiuii b iuiiik i yude doo it I ees; no. them fellers don't ike me, an did it tu make a fuss alween Tba re connecshun ny mine, but I don't clame it off1 em. So thet made it rite agin, an he wus jist the same gude lookin littel gentelman he wus las summer, when Uncle Charly sed Hr. Cox wus.tbe I nisest an smartis 1 nv the lot, an Kep tbe bes whisky; but how he nodebespnaseled me, sein he belongs tu tbe temprunce, an never taists it Well, thar wus a trial goin on. an it ol lookt mity grand like; an I stade thar a watcnm tel it wos thru, an tba turnd out An then I thot Ide go tu Owensburra So I started oph sorter slo. I heddent got fur when a wagzen cum up, an tba axt me tu ride, an I did. I then se it wus sum uv the fellers thet bed the trial,- an tha wus tawkin bout it 1 ses. I don t think yore lawyer did yore side jes- tis. Yu otto git Santafur. Santa h1, ees he; wi, he don t no ennfftokepe his mouth shet wen its emty es his hed. Wi.ses he, I i wos up at tbe corte uv clames, an heiist kep pitchin in ol the time, so tha cudent git tu low enny clames, (an tha hed sura mity big Is tu low. Z1. an tba got Mack- 1 henry tu tri tu tawk him doun.lnt it only maae mm wuss, an ne ecraipi an pawa roun thar twel he put me in mine uv Un-1 cle Bennett's littel bull wen tbe big 1 is on tutber side uv the fens; an tha cudent git tu du ennythingtwel 1 uv the skwires 1 tbot bede tri suthin els. an be muved tu low Santafur 50 doners, an then he huabt up an iet em git mm. Then the I thet hed the trial sed, wi cudent the Jedge jist es well side tuda es tu hev me go bak tomorrer? Then tbe driver ses, don't yu no thet Jedge Gregry can't aford tu luse enny uv his frends? He wants tu luke et the pole book fust. An so tha kep on twel we cum tu tbe rode thet tba turnd oph on, an thar we parted with menny tender regards, an then I wos aione in tue worm agin. Well, nuthin worth recordtn happend twel I got tu Owensbnrro. Afore 1 fare- ly got in2 toun. hoo shnd I mete but Josh Ford, an we wos powlul glad, both uv us. IT- 1 1 1 t - , : r ne seu neue oin wacnin luruie ever sense the stage driver tole him I wos cumin. He sed hede a node me by the descripshun ef it hed bin in Urnp. We ajurnd tu a hous an hed sum refreshment an cakes an pi an coffy. I tel yu, Mr. Editor, Josh is a gude sole, an menny is tbe patraarkal frog thet hes sorryful cos tu remember Joehuway an me. Well, when we got dun eatin we lit oar pipes an started tu wauk roun tbe toun, an then I heerd sum curia remarks. 1 ses, boo hes Josh got now? No. 2 ies.it must be littel Fhill. Anutber ses, he lukes more like a captered bandit Anannther ses, I wonder ef Josh is gwine in2 the mi- nagaree biznee; an lots more uv tbe same sort twel we got whar the housen want so thick, an we cuaent neer em expres ware admirashun. An tnen josn ses: lira, yure me very a . T- t rry . if man Ive bin lukm fur. I want yu tu run the smut mill department nv tht Shield. He sed thare wos a feller doun thar frum Rock DOrt tu git the blase, but ses be. I tel yu, Tim, I cudent stummick him, an now besegon back up tbar anntten things tu the Hartford paper calkalated tu injer mi kareckter. 1 l hedn t ned tne lere uv Mr. Berg afore mi Ize, Ide a went up thar an wollopt him. An now, ses he, ef yule take charge uv that thare depart- ment we re shore tu make a guae wing outen it an yule hev abowt the bull con sarn under yore controle. An now, ses be. whut du yu sa tu nf Jest es 1 WOS gwine tU Sa. yeS, an Wan- Icy, sum 1 in a hous we wos passtn, ses, luke thar! hoos thet fine Ink in man with Josh Ford? I luked up quick like, an thar T T I - f ' U 1 a, an his arm wos rite roun a monsns purty gal. Es sune es he sede me he turnd roun quik, an I started ta go in. Josh held ou tu mi arm, an ses he, whar yu gwine? I sen. tu sneke tu Uncle Charly. Ses he. wos thet Uncle Uinriyi oes i, yes. ses 1.. li& aIa vl Ki,l vn I10H1.P nnt m In I I,.- i,!m .lnn'n fn.m. , , , ,. . ,1 . We went on lukm et the ; sites an injoy- en eacn uiuers somy. , . wc . bak ta whar we started, an thar we met tt 1- -i i IT. l. 1:1,. I,. JM.'i no I wos in the plase. I axt him bow tba wos at home. lie sed tha wos ol wel wen i. lrt wich wna the da arter I started. Than .trial, a h mnat pn. tint wIe meat et the hotell thet nite. Then 1 axt uncle Charly whut he wos doin out thar et thet . ..a . " T . Cl ' . bona? an he tride xnuy nara lu maxe roe ..... . '-n.r .1 . ?. think it wussent mm. umi siuic iu u. Thnn fin want nn In tsl finw ftlft m&il Skuvah tuk a noshun tu sel his tobacker doun beer, an es uncieonariy nea a lene w nrl. hr.1 il rlnnn for him. a h. rnm ilim Hartford Jedffe Gretrrv aaaa a aawv -i O ,t Mm .pt fcl.F fvr tu m1 rownd th. . ,,mthin Knni the tmn.it ur Te3n;S- ti i. .,m . - u.i, v...-, agin, an sed he node Peggy an tbe baby 1UCU nnuiiu iui u cw vwm. "v.iu wanted tu se me, an hede du the bansuin ef Ide go bak an sta. 1 tole him he had- ent trete me wel, an I cudent think uv it leshedepaup. Wel, Tim. ses he. He giv yu tht.': an he pade me 40 dollers, an, sea 7. T, " .L . - 1 ne. lie eiv vu me rem uiorc we icc An then we went abowt luken et the sites, an I ses, whut wos it yu wos doin et . i . t i i i -i t ik.i. his wife) wonted me ta git hur a patern fur a onder skurt. Then I went an bot sum things tu take hoam. fur we wus gwine tu start nex mor - nin. Uncle Charlv woodent let me go tu the hotell tu se Josh, but tuk me roun tu whar bis waggin wus, an tbar we stade ol nite reddy tu start next mornin when we gotbrekfus. I ses, now fur the rest uv thet munny, an he pade it up, but it peerd 111 gU IIIIUIV .Vglll 111V lilUV. We got everthing in the waggen an hicht op, an be ees, yore Ant Liz tole me tu git hur sum appel vineger, an he went an got it in a big jug. an then we started. . Ses he: Tim, wele hev tu tri the upper rode, an awa we went I ses, I newer bin that rode. Du yu think we kin git thru? Ses he, no dout. Wei. nuthin happend on the wa. only Uncle Cbarly bed a mity bad taist.in bis month, an bed tu take a littel appel vine- ger (es he sed) tu egspel it So we went along, an arter while Uncle Charlv got mity gnde, an tole roe lots uv things thet tuk plase at tbe rorte uv clames. Ses he. its rite hard aura times tudu jnstis an plee eve rboddy, but weve Jarnt how tn da it when a feller pats in a dame fithout its a commishntr uv sum sort). We cut it doan tu whot we think rite. An then he eoee tn a lawyer and zWs him haf he gits. an then both partis roast thar frens. an when corte ainrns tba ol git a skwire er o o i r I. .1 . . sum taiK o er , an ia& u&wk me iaat- ter over thar gude dinner an licker, an when tba cum back tha ar reddv tu re- cunsider an satisfi ol rjartis. Bnt he sed. is monsus hard on sum pore fellers wot livs wa oph in the cuntree an haint got enny frens in toon. Ses he, ef it want fur the cost on clames I woodent be a skwire; tbets tbe plase we sbo our importance. An so we trave'd in the mud twel we cum lu a krick thet hed a nn bridg. Un- cle Charly sed it wos Fanter. an thai we hed tu ston. Thar wus a wazzen an 2 mules hed got on, an snmhow cudent git opb. an tbar wits a littel duebman. er snm utherkind uva hethen. I cudenttel whut be wuS sain, an he he bed sum cowhides an lots nv things thet skairt our oxn. An he hed his mules luse an wos trine tu git em oph 1 et a time, an it lookt like etch 1 wonted tuther tn go fust, an be wos sain sumtbin thet went like ockerd cnssin. Then we went no an hoped him tn git his mules onh an then tbe waggen. an I tel vu thet wos a hard job, fur it wos bevvy loded. Es sane es we got it onh he hichtnpan lief us tn git over the best we cood, a a endent ondrntand thet'we wonted hen. then we druv up, an it wns gittm dark, ian we manedged like tuther Teller, with plenty uv whippin an hollerin to git em on the bridg. an tba woodent go oph. not when we tuk em luse. bnt we hed to onvoke era, an then tha went an scatterd, an it so dark we cudent see em, an we wussent I abel tu git the waggen oph ef wede hed lite enuf tu asede. Uncle Charly hed bin in a bad umer, nerely cussin ol the time, an then beblode rite out et tbe cussed bridg, an sed he mite a hed more scents then tn taik this rode ef bede ony thot bowt thet bridg; thet it wus repoarted et tbe corte uv clames to I be no count an follindonn. Thenwesede a lite acnmin an we wos glad, an when be cum up we tride tu git the waggen oph. i out cuaent, an nea tu leve iliwei mcrnin. So we fixt things rite an went hoam with tbe man an got supper, an Uncle Charly tuk his appel vineger along with him. an him an the man had ahepetosa bowt thet i i i uriag. The man sed thet it newer wos enny count Uncle Charlv ses. I Weve tu now. an I thet cummisuner ot tu be maid pa fur it Then ses the man, I heerd thar wus 2 skwires onto his bond. Uncle Charly ses, thet's so. Ses he, hoo wus tba? Uncle Charly ses, Olfbrd an Hodges. Ses he. wns thet rite? Uncle Charly ses, 1 spec to. far 2 coun ty jedges bed a sa bo-wt it an tha semed tu think it ol rite, an ol the skwires semed tu think so 2, fur nary 1 uv them sed a wurd agin it, an it maid it more shore tbet the bond woodent be forfit tn hev the corte (bet tride the case fur securely. The man sed, it ma be better fur the I corte. but I doant think it is fur the pee- I ... . . i nul tbet bes tu pa far it Then I went ta slepe on the flore, an I lef em tastin Uncle Charly's appel vineger. I Nex mornin I tole Uncle Cbarly thetef he hed sech bridrea bill he mite fit hia I teme cross em hisself. an I struck fur hoam, an bed no trubble, kase I bed no more bridges tu git on an oph, but got over Ruff krick on a bote, an t others on logs, wich I bleve is the best wa. When 1 1 rite agin He tel yu sutl.tn els. Yores trooly, Tim Various. Uncle "How did the mother of Moses hide him?" Niece "With a stick." Wnman mnnnt ,nml mn in nr!,t. of ways for instance, in loafing round the et0Te ;n a corJntrr postofflce, or in .the or;;nautT 0fher stupidity. I " The late Miss Eliiateth Leatherland is the oldest case of old maid on record. I She was one hundred and eleven years old when she died recently, at ber home in England. I Veils have been constructed with ncse pockets, to allow the veils to be pinned k , . and we on face j w -rf f lhe arUc, j. h of I ... ' " " They have a heathenish way of bury ing people at Montgomery Plains, Mich. if this be true: "At a funeral at Mont I TI7 J ! .V . 1 gomery name, uunng we nrsi waw, we grave was fall of water, and the coffin was I r 3 J V. .a i: 1a i .urceu uuwu uj men auinuing Upou i. uu- I :t J!. i : s i m mc uitk no- miuwn -u- I 1 The young and progressive lire in the s..vfc.so..i ... ...s cast Hope inspires the former; memory is dear to the latter. Moat men run half I . . . 1 1 t . im race oi me. wen turning, waiK oacic I to the startin? place childhood. Few are the noble souls that press on to tbe I end. Mr. Abel Conant 90 years of age, and a resident of Lowell, Mass., since 1834. died on Monday morning. He was the oldest living member ol the Middlesex county. Mars., bar. having been admitted I- tain TT .. .1 l . i in 1010. lie was me invenier oi wic seraohine and parlor organ, and also of the process of raising bread by cream of I . i . i I Notorious as a reader of his sermons, a reverend gentleman, in bantering a mason. 1 one of his parisboners, on tbe superior stability of ancient compared with mod- ern buildings pat the question. "Can you tell me when the masons lost tne an ot tempering their mortar?" "I've heard," says the man, with a sly leer, "Inat n I was about the time ministers lost tbe gift I i nnnvit iiicawiint.