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THE HARTFORD HERALD.
"I COME, THE HERALD OF A NOISY WORLD, THE NEWS OF ALL NATIONS LUMBERING AT MY HACK" ADVERTISING ItATES. One copy, one year... . 2 00 Ten topic, uao year........... 17 SO Twenty copier, one year ..................... 30 00 An additional copy, free of charge, to the getter-np of a dob of ten or twenty. Ai we aro compelled by law to pay postage in advance on papers tent outside of Ohio eonnty, we are forced to require payment on subscriptions in advance. All papers wilt be promptly siappe-1 at the expiration of the time subscribed fur. All letters on business most be addressed to J no. P. Biuret? t Co., Publishers. ne square, one insert on 1 00 10 One square, each additional insertion. Oore square, one year. 10 mi 20 00 40 CO no m' 100 00 une-rourth column peryear........ One-third column, per year........... una nan column, per year- One coJiranoae year.......... ...... Forsfcoftef trine, at proportionate rater. One inch of Wee consulates st sqaare. The matter of yearly advertisements ehnnced VOL. 1. HABTFORD, OHIO COUNTY, KY SEPTEMBER 22, 1875. NO. 38. quarterly free of charge For further parties lars, addrerrt J .10. V, sinrrr A Co., iaiieT, SUBSCRIPTION Tt-VTES. For the Hartford Herald. N.lKI.Mi CP nOLOII. BT LEX. n. CCSIXIN3. 'Twas a beautiful evening, And sweet shone the moon, Her soft rays were as bright As mid-day in June, As away to the well I concluded to go, Where a beautiful girl Was making np dough. The tea-kettle at home Was simmering low. For want of the fluid To boil it, you know. So I drew up the water, Reluctant and slow, And gated long at the girl A miking up dough. I tat down to the table Quite thoughtful and sad. The "Young Hyson" was weak, The beefsteak was bad, So I took np a biscuit. Quite natural, you know, And I thought of the girl A making up dough. I dreamed in my sleep, While the stars shone above, Like so many warm biscuits. All wrap'd np in loTe; Of the white tapering arms. And cheeks all aglow. Of the sweet witching creature A making np dotgh. I concluded each evening To visit the well, And draw op the water, Entranced by the spell That gleam'd from the window, Until I should know The Angelie creature A making up dough. lucky evening I remember it well Just as I was leaving, I stumbled and fell: My head ltrnck the window It frightened ber so The timid young creature A making up dough. All matters explained, She laughM at her fiarf, And blushed when I told her The fault was all hers; To me, nothing more beautiful. E'en the roses that blow. Than the witching young creature A making np dough. Tim, with his troubles, Has rolled on each year, Changing joy into sorrow And doubt into fear, And I sigh at the chaages The roses to mow On the cheeks of my darling Who made np the dough. THE BLACK TULIP. BY ALESWDIin IU MAS, Author of the "Count or Monte Crlsto," The Three Unnnl-imen,"- "Twenty Y.-n- AtteiV-Mraireloiuie, the NonorAlheC'l.oiihr la Vnlllcrr. The Iron .MiltU," Etc., Etc. chapTer v. THE TCLir nXAXCEH AJD HIS NEICUDOR. Whilst the burghers of the Hague were tearing in pieces the bodies of John and Cornelius Dc Witte, and whilst Wil liam of Orange, after having made sure that his two antagonists were dead, was galloping on the Leyden road, followed by Captain Van Deken, whom lie found a little too compassionate to honor him any longer with his confidence, Craeke, the faithful servant, mounted on a good horse, and little suspecting what terrible events had taken place since his depart ure, proceeded along the high road lined with trees, until he was clear of the town and the neighboring villages. Being once safe, he, with a view of avoiding suspicion, left his horse at a livery etable, and, quietly continuing his journey on the canal-boats to Dort, soon descried that checrfuf city, at the foot of a hill dotted with windmills. He saw the line red brick houses, mortared in white linens, standing on the edge of the water, and their balconies, open towards the river decked with silk tapestry embroid cred with gold flowers, the wonderful manufacture of India and China; and near the brilliant stuff?, large lines set to catch the voracious eels, which are at tracted towards the houses by the gar bage thrown every day from the kitchen into the river. Craeke, standing on the deck of the boat, saw, across the moving sails of the windmills, on the elope of the hill, the red and pink houc which was the goal of his errand. The outlines of its roof were merging in the yelloiv foliage of a curtain of poplar-trees, the whole habita lion having for back-ground a dark grove of gigantic elms. The mansion was 6it uated in such a way, that the sun, fall ing on it as into a funnel, dried up, wanned, and fertilized the mist -Svhieh the vcrdent screen could not prevent the river-wind from carrying there ever morn' ing and evening. Having disembarked unobserved among the usual hurtle of the city, Craeke at once directed ht9 steps towards the house which we have just described, at" which white, trim, and tidy, even more clean ly ecourd and more carefully waxed in the hidden corners than in the places which were exposed to view inclosed a truly happy mortal. ti.:. 1 1-1 xuie uapi-y luunai, rara uvtt, as Doctor Van Baerle, the godson of Corne lius De Witte. He had inhabited the same house ever since his childhood; for it was the house in which his father and grandfather, old-established princely merchants of the princely city of Dort, were born. Mynheer Van Baerle, the father, had amassed in the Indian trade, three or four hundred thousand guilders, which Mynheer Van Baerle, the eon, at the death of his dear and worthy parents, found still quite new, although one eet of them bore the date of coinage of 1 G 10. and the other that of 1010, a fact which proved that they were guilders of Van Baerle the father, and of Van Baerle the" grandfather; but we will inform the read er at once, that these three or four hun- drcd thousand guilders were only the pocket-money, or a sort of purse, for Cornelius Van Bearle, the hero of this story, and his landed property in the province yielded hinvan income of about ten thousand guilders a year. When the worthy citizen, the father ol Cornelius, passed from time into eternity, three months after having buried his wife, who seemed to have departed first to smooth for him the path of death as she had smoothed for him the path o( life, he said to his son as he embraced him for the last time, "Eat, drink, and spend your money, if you wish to know what life really is; for as to toiling from morn to evening on a wooden stool, or a leathern chair, in a counting-house or a laboratory, that cer tainly is not living. Your time to die will also come; and if you are not then so fortunate as to have a son, you will let my name grow extinct, and my guilders which no one has ever fingered but my father, myself, and the coiner, will have the surprise of passing to an unknown master. And least of all imitate the ex ample of our godfather Cornelius De Witte, who has plunged into politics, the most ungrateful of all careers, and who will certainly come to an untimely end." Haying given utterance to this patcr- ncl advice, the worthy Mynheer Van Baerle died, to the intense grief of his eon Cornelius, who cared very little for the guilders, and very much for his fath er. Cornelius, then, remained alone in his large house. In vain, his godfather of fered to lirm a place in the public eervicc; in vain did he try to give him a taste for glory. Cornelius Van Baerle, who was present in De Ruyler's flag-ship, "The Seven Provinces," at the battle of South- wold Bay, only calculated after the fight was over, how much time a man, who likes to shut himself up within his own thoughts, is obliged to waste in closing his eyes and stopping his ears, whilst his fellow-creatures indulge in the pleasure of shooting at each other with cannon balls. He, therefore, bade farewell to De Ituyter, to his godfather, and to glory; kissed the hands of the Grand Pensiona ry, lor whom he felt a profound venera tion, and retired to his house at Dort. he possessed every element of what alone was happiness to him. He studied plants and insects, collected and classified the Flora of all the Dutch islands, arranged the whole entomology of the province, on which he wrote a treatise, with plates drawn by his own hands, and at last, beins at a loss what to do with his time, and especially with his money, which went on accumulating at a most alarming rate, he took it into his head to select for himself, from all the follies of his country and of his age, one of the most elegant and expensive, he became a tulip fancier. It was the time when the Dutch and the Portugese, rivalling each other in this branch of horticulture, had begun to idolise and almost worship that flower, which ongtnallv had come from the East. Some people from Dort to lions began to talk of Mynheer Van Baerle's tulips; and his beds, pits, drving-rooms, and drawers of bulbs were visited, as the gal leries and libraries of Alexandria were by illustrious Roman travelers. Van Baerle began by expending his yearly revenue in laying the ground work of his collection, after which he broke in upon his new guilders to bring it to perfection. His exertions, indeed were crowned with a most mignificent result: be procured three new tulips. hich he called the "Jane." after hi mother; tha "Van Baerle," after his father; and the "Cornelius," after his godfather; the other names have escaped us, but the fanciers will be sure to find them in the catalogues of the times. In the beginning ot the year 1672. Cor nelius De Witte came to Dort for three months, to live nthis old family mansion; for not only was he been in that city, but his family had been resident there for centuries. Cornelius, at that period, as William of Orange said, began to enjoy the most perfect unpopularity. To his fellow- citizens, the good burghers of Dort, however, he did not appear in the light of a criminal who deserved to be hung It is true, they did not particularly like his somewhat austere republicanism, but they were proud of his valor; and when be made his entrance into their town, the cup of honor was offered to him, readily enough in the name of the city. After having thanked his fellow-citizens, Cornelius proceded to his old pater nal house, and gave directions for some repairs, which he wished to have execu ted before the arrival of his wife And children;' and thence he wended his way to the house of his godson, who, per haps, was the only person in Dort as yet unacquainted with the presence of Cor nelius in the town. In the same degree as Cornelius De .Witte had excited the liatred of the peo ple, by sowing those evils seeds which are called political passions. Van Baerle Jiadgu:ned th i affections of his fellow- citizens by completely shunning the pur suit of politics, absorbed as he was in the ! nacoful pursuit of culUT-tiHg tulips- Van Baerle was truly beloved by his servants and laborers; nor had he any conception that there was in this world a man who wished ill to another. And yet it must be said, to the dis grace of mankind, that Cornelius Van Baerle, without being aware of the fact, had a much more ferocious, fierce, and implacable enemy than the Grand Pen sionary and his brother had among the Orange party. At the time when Cornelius Van Baerle began to devote himself to tulip- growing, expending on this hobby his yearly revenue and the guilders of his father, there was at Dort, living next door to him, a citizen of the name of Isaac Boxtel; who, from the age when he was able to think for himself, had in dulged the same fancy, and who was in ecetacicsatthemerc mention of the word tulips. Boxtel had not the good fortune of be- ng rich like Van Baerle. He had, there fore, with great care and patience, and by dint of strenuous exertions, laid out near his house at Dort, a garden fit for the culture of his cheerished flower; he had mixed the soil according th the most approved prescriptions, and given to his ..tbeds just ns much heat and air as the strictest rul.-s of horticulture exact. Isaac knew the temperature of his frames to the twentieth part of a degree. He knew the strength of the current of air, and tempered it so as to adapt it to the wave of the stems of his flowers. His productions also began to meet with the favosof the public They were beau tiful, nay, distinguished. .Several fanci ers had come to o Itoxtcl'. tulip. lie had even started a tulip which bore hig name, and which, after having traveled all through France, had found its way into Spain, and penetrated as far as Por tugal; and the King, Don Alphonse VI., who, being expelled from Disbon, re tired to tlu Island of Terceira, where he amused himself, not, like the Great Con- de, with watering his carnations, but with growing tulip? had,. 011 seeing the Boxtel tulip, exclaimed, "Not so bad, by any means. All at once, Cornelius Van Baerle, who, after'all his learned pursuits, had been seized with the tulipomnnia, made some changes in bis house at Dort,which, as we have stated, was next door to that of Boxtel. lie raised a certain builditi- in his courtyard by a story, which, shut ting out the sun, took half a degree of warmth from Boxtel's garden, and, on the other hand, added half a degree of cold in the winter; not to mention that it cut the wind, and disturbed all the horticul tural circulations and arrangements of his neighbor. After all, this mishap appeared to Box. tel of no great consequence. Van Baerle was but a painter, a sort of fool who tried to reproduce, and disfigure on canvass the wonders of nature. The painter, he thought, had raised his studio by a story to get better light, and thus he had only been in the right Mynheer Van Baerle was a painter, as Mynheer Boxtel was a tulip grower; he watited somewhat more sun for his painting, and he took half a degree from his neigobor's tulips. The law was for Van Baerle, and Box tel had to abide by it. Besides which, Isaac had made the dis covery that too much sun was injurious to tulips, and that this flower grew quick er, and had a belter coloring, with the temperate warmth of morning, than with the powerful heat of the midday 6un. lie, therefore, felt almost grateful to Cornel ius Van Baerle for having given him a screen gratis. May be this was not quite in accord ance with the true state of things, in gen eral, and of Isaac Boxtel's feelings in particular. It is certainly astonishing what rich comfort great mind-t, ' in the midst of mountainous catastrophes, will derive from the consolations of philoso phy. But, alas I what was the agony of the unfortunate jsoxtet on seeing the win dows of the new story set out with bulbs nnd seedlings of tulips for the border, and tulips in pots; in short, with everything pertaining to the pursuits of a tulip-fancier. There were bundles of labels, cup boards, and drawers with compartments, and wire-guards for the capboards, to al low free access to the air whilst keepinj out the sings, mice, dormice, and rats, all of them very curious fanciers of tulips at two thousand francs a bulb. Boxtel was quite amazed when he saw all this apparatus, but he was uot as yet aware of the full extent of his misfortune, Van Baerle was known to be fond of ev erything that pleases the eye. He studied nature in all her aspects for the benefit of his paintings, which were as minutely finished as those of Gerard Dow, his mas ter, and of Mieris, his friend. Was it not possible, that, having to paint the in terior of a tulip grower', he had collect ed in his new studio all the accessories of decoration? Yet, although thus consoling himself with illusory suppositions, Boxtel was not able to resist the burning curiosity which was devouring him. In the evening, therefore, he placed a ladder against the partition-.-y.all between their gardens, and, looking into that of hiswighbor Van Baerle, he convinced himsef, the'soil of a large square bed, which had formerly been occupied by different plants, was re moved, and the ground disposed in beds of loam mixed with river mud (a combi nation which is particularly favorable to the tulip), and the whole surrounded by a border of turf to keep the soil in its place. Besides this, sufficient shade to temper the noon-day heat; aspectS.S.W.; water in abundant supply, and at hand; in short, every requirement to insure not only success but also progress. There could not be a doubt but that Van Baerle bad become a tulip-grower. Boxtel at once pictured to himself this learned man, with a capital of four hundred thousand, and a yearly income often thousand guilders, devoting all his intellectual and financial resources to the cultivation of the tulip. He foresaw his neighbor's success, and he felt such a pang at the mere idea (if his success, that his hands dropped powerless, his knees trembled, and he fell in despair from the ladder. And thus it was not for the sake of paint ed tulips, but for real ones, that Van Baerle took from him half a degree of warmth. And thus Van Baerle was to have the most admirably fitted aspect, and, besides, a large, aiiy and well-ventilated chamber, where to preserve his bulbs and seedling; whilst he, Boxtel, had been obliged to give up for this purpose his bed-rrom, and, lest his sleeping in the same apartment might injure his bulbs and seedlings, had taken up his abode in a miserable garrctt. Boxtel, then, was to have next door to him a rival and successful competitor; niul lti. ril, ittJ of-bcing- e jiiicun known, obscure gardener; was the god son of Mynheer Cornelius De Witte, that is to say, a celebrity. Boxtel, as the reader may see, was not possessed of the spirit of Poms, who, on being conquered by Alexander, consoled himself with the celebrity of his con queror. And now if Van Baerle produced a new tulip, and namad it the John De Witte, after having named one the Cor nelius? It was indeed enough to choke honest Isaac with rage. Thus Boxtel, with jealous foreboding, became the prophet of his own misfor tune. And, after having made this mel ancholy discovery, he passed the most wretched night imaginable. Continued next week. IXTXItVIEV I.J A FARMER. The nUrotirac-eiiient of n Crop Re porter. Louirville Ledger. Wishing to keep posted as to the con dition of the crops, and to ascertain the exact amount of damage done by the re cent flood, a reporter of the Ledger start ed out this morning on an interviewing expedition. He was fortunate enough to encounter a farmer at the edge of town, bringing a load of hay into the city. Burning with enthusiasm, the reporter hailed him. He halted, and the follow ing colloquy took place: "How arc you, friend?'' "Tired," "What's hay now?'' "Same as it always was." "What's that?" "Dried grass." - - "What did you think of the rain?" "Thought it was damp." "Didn't raise anything then, eh?" "Nothing but an umbrella.'' "What did your neighbors get?" "Chills and fever." "What are you doing now?'' "Sitting out here in the sun, and maybe mining a chance to sell this hay. Come up here if you want to talk. ' The reporter scrambled up to the Fide of his new made acquaintance, and as they jolted on he again produced his note book and continued: "What did the farmers do last spring?'' "Kan everything in the ground as usual." "Did your wheat do anything?' "Yes.'" "What?" "Sprouted." "Can you raise any tobacco?-' "Yes. Do you want a chew?" "How are the potatoes?'' "Under the weather somewhat, but able to be out." Becoming just the least bit discouraged, the reporter asked timidly: "Will you bring many beets to the city this year?" "Got a good load now,'' was the re joinder, as he checked his horses and said, "guess you'd better plant what I've told you, and see what it'll yield. Here's where you git off." Remembering that it was just about time to report at the office, the baffled searcher after news climbed down the side of the wagon, and thinking that a soft answer turneth away wrath, he calmly said: "That's nice hay, my friend; where did it come from?" "Timothy seed," was the reply. The interrogater grew faint, but he summoned up courage enough to ask: "What do you think you will get for it?" 'Cash of course. Get up whitey, this fellow will talk us blind in n minute. He asks more questions than a catechism' and before the discouraged representative of the press could recover from his sur prise, the hay wagon had turned an ad jacent corner. Fnrmers anil Newspapers.- We have been frequently surprised to see how many farmers well to do in worldly riches, neglect or refuse to take some good paper for the- benefit of him eelf and family. They seem to think they have no interest in the affairs of the world; that they have to deal with noth ing except the land they plow or the stock they feed, and their children rearing into ignorance. They forget-they are a part of the human family, placed upon this orb to work out the plans of the good and wise Creator, and as such have no right to hamper the great streams of progress. The laws of progression are as unalter able as any others of nature and that man who impedes those laws with an off spring children uneducated and besotted with ignorance commits a sin which reacts not only upon himself but on his decendents for long years in the future. Newspapers are made to spread intelli gence and improve the morals of man kind. To the farmers above all men, they should be a necessity, from the fact that they afford him in his isolated con dition the only means of mixing in the' busy eccnelTof life. Man in his innate state becomes a personification of selfish ness, caring only for himself. Develop ment comes alone fiom associating with our fellow men, and appropriating to our selves the advancement which they make. no iflrmersiioulutlo without tins social I schooling, both for his own cood and that of his children; an J in no way can it be obtained so fully and cheaply as through the newspaper and periodicals literature'eKthe day; and he who neglects to receive These advantages deprives him self of light.and lives out his days in worse than heathen darkness. The Southern Mocking Iltrtl. Methodist Recorder. But we must throw aside a handful of botanical specimens, and a page of mem oranda for letter writing, else we should linger in these Mississippi woods nil sum mer. Hark! "Lfaten to the mocking!" Yonder on that water oak, how proudly he balances himself on the swinging bough. Will he sing? Yes. Only hearken. His notes are clearer than the notes of a flute, more shrill and ringing than the falsettos of the most perfect flag eolet, endless in variety as if his octaves reached into the etherly skies, and modu lated with a grace beyond the range of words to express. He takes up the song of the thrush, the time-beat of the robin, the caroling of some distant swallows too faintly remote for our coarse cars to hear, the victor call of the lark mounting into the face of the sun, the chattering of the blue bird' and a score of remembered ca dences from summers that are gone, and hearken! He transposes them into a new creation. His original variations Eurpass Gottschalk's grandest liberties with "Home sweet Home." He swells his mellow melodies into an anthem; it rises, falls, repeats, strikes on, a very blessed Bablc of confusing bewitching. captivating song, with notes too quick for pulsing time or quivering heart to tell miracle of melody. And this from the throat of a stray mocking-bird, one of a million in theMississippi woods? If God has so endowed a wild warbler of the forest, what rapturous surprise awaits us in the eternal morning when the new song blinll strike our ravished ears' Plnln Tnlk on n IMnln Subject. The Rev. Dr. Bartol, of Boston, gave expression to these emphatic views on Sunday last when referin-r to the case of Jesse Potneroy: "If we would have no monsters about us in the community, let not idiots or insane pair, or scrofolous or consumptives, those soaked in alcohol or conceived in lust, entering the world dis eased in body or mind, or ovcrweighed with any propensity or passion, be al lowed to marry, any more than wc would have a nursery for wolves and bears, or cultivate poisonous ivy, deadly night shade, or apple-tern in the incloaure 0 our houses, our yards and fields. Society by righteous custom, if not by statute law, hasn right to prevent, to forbid the multiplication of monstrous specimens of humanity. That mewling, puking, droll ing, wailing baby ought not to exist; it is no blessing, but a curse of nature and God on the mi-doing ot men and uo.nen " Hhe Cnrcd Illm. At last she completely cured him. For month she had patiently endured the pangs which so many thousand of young wives arc compelled so suffer. Almost every morning at breakfast the husband expressed the hope that he might live to see the day when he could get such coffee as he used to have at home. Or such corn bread as his mother was wont to make and bake. At dinner the meat was ovcrbaked in the range. To be sure his mother used to roast the meat in an old-fashioned tin oven, and the piece was always dun to a turn the last turn of the revolving spit. Those days were forever gone. But he might and ought to get such a green apple pie, with new cheese as his mother used to give him. At length the long suffering wife arose in ber wrath, upset the takle, sending the dishes and their contents crashing to the carpet, strided over to her astonished hus band, gave him a box on. the ear, which knocked him off the chair, and remarked 'There's a clip over the head for yon. uch as your mother used to give you when you was a boy, goldern yer.' Thereafter there was domestic peace and quiet in that house, with never an alia sion to the paternal cookery and comforts of the by-gone days. Tonne "Willow. Dr. Austin Flint, of New York, an em inent physician and gentleman, has written an elaborate essay on the impor tance of having trained and skilled nurses for the sick. We fully agree with the learned Doc tor. It is important. But where, outside of hospitals, are such nurses to be found? They can only be obtained by teaching wives and mothers not the aged but the young women to be nurses. And should be a part of the education in all our fashionable seminaries. There is not a professor in one of them whose instruc tion is so important to the comfort and longevity of the race as what one "old granny" knows. There is many a young widow wearing her weeds, who might dress in colors, to" day, if she had only known how to take care Of her husband when illness over took him. This nursing is a matter, not of policy and convenience, but of life and death. And yet while young women must thrutn we believe that is thejund. or phrase pianos, if not till the crack of doom, till wc should think it would crack it is not deemed worth while to teach them ho- to keep drinks cool for parched nnd fevered lips, and how to change and place a pillow so ns to make tt seem to those weary with illness almost like the rest of heaven. And so husbands, who might have lived, die; and young widows abound; but, then, yon know, to some black is more becoming than colors. A marvelous piece of mechanism, in the way of clocks, is described in the French journals. It is an eight day in strument, with dead-beat escapement maintaining power. It chimes the quar ters, plays sixteen tunes, plays three tunes every twelve hours, or will play at any time required. The hands go round as follows: one, once a minute; one, once an hour; one, once a week; one, once a month; one, once a year. It shows th moon's age; the rising and setting ofth sun; the time of high and low water. half ebb, and half flood, and, by a bean tiful contrivance, there is a part which represents the water which rises and falls. lifting some ships at high water tide as i they were in motion, and as it recedes, leaves these little automaton ships dry on the sands. The clock shows the hour of the day, day of the week, day of th moneh, month ofthe year.and in the day o the month there is provisions made for the long and short months. It shows the sign ofthe zodiac;' it strikes or not, i chimes or not, as may be desired; and it has the equation table, showing the dif ference of clock and sun every day of th year. A Kn 111 Cnre. At a festival at a reformatory institution in New York recently, a gentleman said for the cure of intoxicating drinks: "I overcame the appetite by a receipt given me by old Dr. Hatfield, one of those good old physicians who do not have percent age with a neighboring druggist. When I called on him he said, "now that you have the moral courage, I'll tell you th tonic winch I have used with effect among my friends for twenty years." expected, of course, some nasty medicin stuff, but no, he prescribed an orange evry morning, a half hour before break fast. "Take that, and you will neither want liquor or medicine." I have done so regularly and find that liquor has become repulsive. The taste of the orange is in the saliva of the tongue, and it would be as well to mix water and oil as rum with my taste. Now will the festive bed bug skirmish around the "ragged edge" of the sheet seeking a "soft spot" upon the "tall form' ofthe "painfully modest" young lady wh ari-cs sleeping and' screaming, strikes a light, goes in search of the intruder, murmuring, "I almost wish that I" was dead." Ednrntlonnl Matter The September number ot the time and School Journal contains strrrral im portant decisions of the State Superin tendent of Pnblic Instruction, and the ac tions of the State Board of Education, relative to school matters. Below we? give the decision of the State Board in regard to the power ami daly e-fatrns-tee in assessing tases for schocl ptrrpo sea. The trustee- has power to- assess a poll or capitation fas of fifty em's per annum on all the patrons of the district for pro viding the school house with fuel. etc. What is the meaning of "patron!" liv ery one having the right to vote in an election for trustee is a "patron." Com mon schools are not instrtnlerl for private- benefit, but for the pnblic good. The ob ject is to prepare for ihe better eaereiae of the functions of citizenship As the general and district tax, when voted. levied upon all proj errty-hoHers alike. whether deriving any d.rect benefit from the common-school or not, upon the the ory that intelligence is one of the safe guards of liberty; so this potl tax U lev ied and mnsl be paid, because the bene fit of a well-conducted common-school accrues to the public A Mntnal HUnnIeratanlln-r. Detroit Free Prtis. Two colored citizens Saturday had s little trouble on the postoffice cotdct. "Sit, I stigumtize you as a falsehooJ- fierl" exclaimed the first. "And yon, sir, arc a cantering hipel- critef replied the second. 'Ah! talk awayf" growler! the first "but my character is above disprosch." "And yonr influence don't detach from my reputation one Iowa!" growled th other. And thus they parted. iSome of the company at tea with t Dinbnry family, spoke of the excellence ofthe honey, whereupon the head of the house, who stands in reputed dread of bin wife, feelingly said: "Honey is the most delicious of delicacies. It is the nectar ofthe beautiful flowers, sipped from th brilliant petals by the never-tiring bee. and moulded into a glory that would tempt te god of." "Bpbriam," enun ciated his wife, with stern solemnity. 'have you been drinking again?" Ephriam groane-3.., At an auction of household goods on - Harrison avenue yesterday, when a wo man had made a bid on an old burean worth about two dollars, a boy slipped around to another woman and whispered: "You see that woman over there with a Hue bow on?" "Yes." "Well she says no woman with a red nose can buy anything at this sale." The woman with the red nose pushed her way into the crowd and run the price of the bureau np to $12, and as it was knocked down to her she remarked: "I may have a red nose, but no cross eyed woman with n blue bow on can bluff me. Detroit Free Tress. Jones gave a lawyer a bill to be col-. lected to the amount of $10. Calling for it after awhile, he inquired if it had been collected. "O yes, said the lawyer, "I have it all for you." "What charge for collecting?" "0"faid the lawyer, laugh ing, "I'm not going to charge yon why. I have known you ever since you were a baby, and your father before jou; $CO willTe about right," handing over $10. Well," said Jones as he meditated over the transaction, "It's darned lucky he didn't know my grandfather, or I shouldn't have got anything." A wild-eyed man, carrying his s hat in his hand, entered the lake Shore depot yesterday and called out to a man who was wheeling a baggage truck along: "Where's the traiu?" "What train?" "Any train any trainl My wife isn't ten rods behind, and she's got an ax handle over her shoulder and sulphur in her evcM" Dttroit Tree Preu. A Jsjjenchnian learning the English language complained of the irregularity ofthe verb "to go,'" the present tense of which some wag had written out for hint as follows: "I go; Ihou startest; he de parts; we make tracks; you cut sticks; they absquatulate or skcddadle." A Chicago man carries a knile, gimlet, corkscrew screwdriver, paper of pine, book of receipts, nails, string, postage stamp-, and buttons in hi? pocket, and is always willing to accommodate any ona inquir ing for anything. A Milwaukee boy has swallowed half a doxen steel buttons, and his mother doesn't have to scream for him when he is out on the street playing with the Jones boys. She just brings a magnet to the door and he flies to it like a needle to the pole. The printer who, in setting np a fash ionable article, made one line read, "scandals are fashionable this year," in stead of randals, was not very far out of the way after all. When you hear a mm say the world owes him a living, don't leave any hams laving around loose, m