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From Harper's Weekly.
The old clo;V on the nimtcl.
Has cbimcd the hour of eight;
Papa has issued order,
The children must not wait.
Mamma, in spite of protest,
Enforces the command:
She captures both the rebels,
Holds one in either hand.
These tyrants of the household,
That rule with dreadful power,
Their sceptre yield at bed-time;
The dock has chimed the hour.
She leads them through the parlr,
And gently up the stairs,
The mystery of undressing
Is followed now by prayers.
When all the rites are over.
The last good night is said,
Mamma pulls np the cover
And tucks the boys in be 1.
Then comes an hour of quiet
Unknown throughout the day;
The leaders ef the riot
Are snugly packed away.
The racket and the hubbnb
Will soon bieak out again
Stop till the beams of daylight
Wake up these little men.
The elders of the household
Hare now a chance of poace;
The restless feet are quiet.
The prattling Toiees e:ase.
Mamm will linger near them;
She never minds their noise,
The wondrous light of mo'hers lovo
Shines down upon the boys.
THE BLACK TULSP.
BY ALEXtXIMli: MJJIA.S.
Anl!iororilic"Cou:l oCMoiiIp OriMto,"
r Aflfr."-Ilr.riPlonne. tile
Hun or At!io.""l.oii!se la
Vnllierr." -Tlie Iron
SJ;U," XJtc. lltr.
THE rWILT CELL
The incident jmt related wns, as the
render has guessed before this, the mis
chievous work of Mynheer Isaac Boxtel,
It will lie remembered that, with the
help of his telescope, not even the least
detail of the private meeting between Cor
nelins De Witte am! Van Bierle ha I es
cipcd him. He had, indeed, heard noth
ing, but had seen everything, and had
rightly conc'u-Iel that the papers entrust'
ed by the Warden to the Dictor must
liave been of great importance, ng he
saw Van I) tcrle so carefully secreting the
parcel in the drawer wheri he used to
keep his mit precious bulbs.
The upshot ol all this was, that when
Boxtel who wa'ched the course of po-
litical events much more nttcntivelr than
his neighbor Cornelius was used to do
lieard the ncvs of the brothers Dj Witte
being arrested on a charge of high Irea
Ron airainst the Suite, he thought within
his heart, that very likely he, Bixtel
needed only to say one word, and the
godson would be arrested as well as the
Yet, full of hatred as was BoxtclV
heart, heat first shrank with horror from
the idea of informing against a man
whom the information might lead to the
But there is this terrible in evil
thoughts, that evil minds soon grow fa
miliar with them.
Bes'dcs this, Mynheer Isaac Boxtel en
couraged himself with the following
"Cornelius Dc Wilte is a bad citizen
as he is charge I with high treason, and
'I, on the contrary, am a good citizen
as I am not charged with anything in tit
world, as I am as free as the air of hcav
"If, therefore, Cornelius I)e Witte is a
bad citizen of which there can be no
doubt, as he is charged with high trca
son and arrest his accomplice. Cor
nelius Van Bacrlc, is no less a bad citi
zen than himself.
"And I am a good citizen, and as it is
the duly of every good citizen to inform
against the bad ones, it is my duly to in
form against Cornelius Van Baerle."
Specious as this mode of reasoning
might pound, it would not, perhaps, hav
taken to complete a hold of Boxtel, nor
would he, perhaps, have yielded to th
mere uenre oi vengeance wlncn was
gnawing at his heart, had not the demon
of envy being joined by that of cupidity.
Boxtel was quite aware of the progress
which Van Baerle had made toward
producing the grand black tulip.
Doctor Cornelius, notwithstanding all
his modeMy, had not been able to hide
from his most intimate friend-) that he
was all but certain to win, in the year of
grace 1073, the prize of a hundred thou
sand guilders offered by the Horticultu
ral Society of Haarlem.
Just this certainty of Cornelius Van
Baerle caused the fever which raged in
the heart of Isaac Boxtel.
If Cornelius should be arrested, there
would neccssarially be a great upset In
his house, and, during the night after his
nrrest. no one would think of keeping
a watch over the tulips in his garden
2Jow, in that night, Boxtel would climb
over the wall, and, as he knew the place
of the bulb that was to produce the grand
black tulip, he would lilch it; and in-
tend of flowering for Cornelius, it would
orcr for him, Isaac lie also, instead of
Van Baerle, would have the prize of a
ii mi red thousand guilders, not to speak
of the sublime honor of calling the new
ower Tulipa nigra liirtclknxisa. result
hich would (satisfy not only his ven
geance, but also his ciipidity and his am
Awake, he thought of nothing but the
rand black tulip; asleep, he dreamed of
At last, on the 19th of August, about
two o'clock in the afternoon, the tempta
tion crew so strong, that Mvnheer Isaac
was'no longer able to restit it.
Accordingly he wrote an anonymous
information, the minute exactness of
hich made up for its want of authen
ticity; and posted bis letter.
Never did a venomous paper, slipped
nto the jaws or the bronze lions at Ven
ice, produce a more prompt and terrible
On the same evening the letter reached
the principal magistrate, who, without a
moment's delay, convoked his colleagues
arlv for the next morning, therefore, they
assembled, and decided on Van B.icrle's
arrest, placing the order for its execution
the hands of Master Van Spennen,
who, as we have seen, performed his du
ty like a true Hollander, and who arrest
ed the doctor at the very hour when the
Orange party at the Hague were roast-
ng the bleeding shreds of llesh torn from
the corpses of Cornelius and John De
But, whether from a feeling of shame,
or from cavern weakness, Isaac Boxtel
lid not venture that day to point his tele
scope cither at the garden or at the labo
ratory, or at the dry-room.
He knew too well what was about to
lappen in the house of the poor doctor,
and that he should have felt a desire to
bok into iL He did not even get up
vhen his only servant who envied the
lot of the bcrvants of Cornelius just as
bitterly as Boxtel did that of their mas
ter entered his bed-room. He said to
"I shall not get up to-day, I am ill."
About nine o'clock he heard a great
. . i . I , 1 I. !
noise in tlie street, wnicn mane mm
tremble; at this moment he was paler
than a real invalid, and shook more vio-
ently than a man in the height fever.
His servant entered the room; Boxtel
ii .1 himself under the counterpane.
Oh, sir!" cried ihe servant, not with
out some inkling that, wlnt-t deploring
the mishap which had befallen Van
Baerle, he was announcing agreeable
news to his master "oh, sir! you do not
know, then, what is happening at this
"How can I know it?" answered Box
tel with almost an unintelligible voice.
"Well. Mynheer B xtcl, at this mo
ment your neighbor Cornelius Van
Baerle is arrested for high treason."
"Nonsense!" Boxtel muttered, with a
faltering voice; "the thing is impossible."
"Faith! sir, at any rate that's what
people say; and, besides, I have seen
Judae Van Spennen with the archers
entering the house."
"Well, if you have seen it with your
own eyes, that's a different case altogeth
"At all events," said the servant, ''I
shall go and enquire once more; be you
quiet, sir, I shall let you know all about
Boxtel contented himself with signify
ing his approval of the zeal of his ser
vant bv dumb-show.
The man went out, and returned in
half an hour.
"Oh, sii! all that I told you is indeed
"Mvnheer Van Baerle is arrested, and
has been put into a carriage, and they
are driving him to the Hague."
"To the Hague?"
"Yes, to the Hague; and if what people
say is true, it won't do him much g-x 1."
And what do they nay?" Bu-:lel
"Faith, sir, they say tut it is not
quite sure that by this hour Ihe burgh
ers must be murdering Mynheer Corne
lius and Mynheer John De Witte.''
"Oh!" muttered, or rather growled,
Boxtel, closing his eyes from the dread
ful picture which presented itself to his
"Why, to be sure," said the servant to
himself, whilst leaving the room, "Myn-
heer Isaac Boxtel must be very sick, not
to have jumped from his bed on hearing
such good news."
And, in reality, Isaac Boxtel was very-
sick, like a man who has murdered an
other. But he had murdered his man with a
double object; the first was attained, the
second one was still to be attained.
Night closed in. It was the night
which Boxtel had looked forward to.
As soon as it wa9 dark he got up.
He then climbed into his sveamore.
He had correctly calculated; no one
thought of keeping watch over the gar
den; the hou-e and the servants were in
the utmost confusion.
He lieard the clock strik ten, eleven,
At midnight with a beating heart,
i .1: .. i... ...i., -...I .. i;,;.i ..,..,...-
COME, THE HERALD OF A XOISY
nance, he descended from the tree, took a
ladder, leaned it againel the wall,
mounted it to the last step but one, and
All was perfectly quiet, not a sound
broke the silence of the ni;ht; one solita
ry light, that of the housekeeper, was
burning in the house,
This silence and this darkness embold
ened Boxtel; he got astride on the wall,
slopped for an instant, and, after having
ascertained that there was nothing to
fear, lieptitliis own ladder from his own
garden into that of Cornelius, and de
scended. After this, knowing to an inch where
the bulbs w.hich were to produce the
black tulip were planted, he ran towards
the spot, following, however, the-crispy
gravelled walks in order not to be be
trayed by liis foot-prints, and on arriv-
ng at the precise spot, he rushed, with
the eagerness of a tiger, to plunge his
hand into the soft ground.
He found nothing, and thought he was
In the meanwhile the cold sweat stood
on his brow.
lie rummaged close by it Nothing.
He rummaged on the right, and on the
He rummage 1 in front, and at the
He was nearly mad, when at last iie
satisfied himself that on that very morn
ing the earth had been turned.
In f.ict, whilst Boxtel was lying in
bed, Cornelius had gone down to his
garden, had taken up the mother-bulb,
and. as we have seen, divided it into three.
Boxtel could not bring himself to leave
the place. He dug with his hands more
than ten square feet of ground.-
At last no doubt remained of his mis
fortune. Mad with rage, he returned to his lad
der, flung it into his own garden, and
jumped after it.
All at once, a last ray of hope present
ed itself to his mind: the seedling bulbs
might be in the dry-room; it was there
fore only requisite to make his entry
there as he had done into the garden.
There he would find them; and, more
over, it was not at u'l dillicitlt, as the
sashes of the dry-room might be raised
like those of a greenhouse. Cornelius
had opened them on that morning, ami
no one hail thought of closing them
Everything, therefore, depended upon
whether he could procure a ladder of
sufficient length one of twenty-five feet,
instead of ten.
Boxtel had noticed in the street where
he lived a house that was being repaired,
and against which a very tall ladder was
This ladder woulil do admirably, unless
the workmen had taken it away.
He ran to the house, the ladder was
there. Boxtel took it, carried it with
great exertion to his garden, and with even
greater difficulty raised it against the
wall of Van B.ierle's house, where it just
reached to the window.
Boxtel put a lighted dark lantern into
his pocket, mounted the ladder, and
slipped into the dry-room.
On reaching this sanctum of the florist
he stopped, supporting himself against
the table; bis legs filled In in, his heart
heat as if it would choke him. Here
was worse than in the jjanlen; there
Boxtel was only a tresspasser, here he
was a thief.
However, be took courage again: he
had not gone so f.tr to turn back with
But it wns no use to search the whole
room, to open and shut all the drawers,
even that privileged one where the par
cel which had been so fatal to Cornelius
had been deposited; he found ticketed, as
in a botanical garden, the "Jane," the
"John Dp. Witte," the hazel-nut. and the
roasted coffee-colored tulip; but of the
black tulip, or rather the seedling bulbs
within which it was btill sleeping, not a
trace was found.
And yet, on looking over the register
of seeds ami bulbs, which Van Baerle
kept, if possible, even with greater exact
itude and care than the first commercial
house of Amsterdam their ledgers, Box
tel read the following entry:
"To-day, 20th of August, 1072, I have
taken up the mother bulb of the grand
black tulip, which I have divided into
three perfect tuckers."
"Oh, these suckers, these sucker?!
howled Boxtel, turning over cveryting in
the dry-room, "Where could hc have
Then suddenly striking his forehead in
his frenzy, he called out, "Oh, wretch
that I am! Would any one be separa
ted from hit ,-iick?rs? Would any one
leave them at Djrtwheu one goes to the
Hague? He had time to get hold of
them, the .scoundrel, he has them about
him, he has taken them to the Hague!"
It was like alltsh of lightning which
J showed to Boxtel the abyss of a uselessly-
lioxtel sank quite paralysed on that
very table, and on tint very spot where,
some hours before, the unfortunate Van
Baerle had so leisurely, and with such
intense delight, contemplated his darling
"Well, then, after all," said the euvi-
WOULD, THE NEWS OF ALL NATIONS LUMB&MXG AT MY ISACIC."
COUOTY, KY OCTOBER 13, 1875.
ous Boxtel raising his livid lace from
his hands in which it had been buried
"if he has them he can keep them only
as long as he lives, and "
The re-it of this dcte-tahle thought
merged in a hideous smile.
"The suckers are at the Hague," he
said, "therefore I can no longer live at
Dort: away, then, for them, to the
Hague! to the Hague!"
And boxtel, without taking any notice
of the treasures about him-so entirely
were his thoughts absorbed by another
inestimable treasure-let himself out by h Ulwl t!ie cen.
the window, glided down the ladder, Thu8 left aone Cornelins threrf him
carried it back to the place whence he nn ... ,,ei, ,mt he ,., not. he
had taken it, and like a beast of preyj
returned growling to his house.
THE TAMILY CELL.
It was about midnight when poor
Van Baerle was locked up in the prison
of the Buitenhof.
Wiiat Kosa foiesaw had come to pass.
On finding the cell of Cornelius De
Witte empty, the wrath of the people
ran very high, and had Gryphus fallen
nto the hands of those madmen, he
would certainly have had to pay with
his life for the prisoner.
But this fury had vented itself most
amply on the two brothers when they
were overtaken bv the Murderers, thanks
to the precaution which William -the
man of precautions had taken in having
the gates of the city closed.
A momentary lull had therefore set
n, whilst the prison was eniDtv, and
Bosa availed herself of this favorable
noment to come forth from her hiding-
place, -which she also induced her father
Tlie pri-on was therefore completely
leserted. Whv should neon!c remain
in jail, whilst murder was going on at
the Tol Hek?
Gryphus came forth trembling behind
the courageous Ilosa. Thev went to close
the I'reat crate, at east as well as it
ii i -i :....! i :, ., i,i I
would close, considering that it was nail
demolished. It was easv to see that a
hurricane of mighty fury had passed
About four o.clock a return of the
noise was heard, but of no threatening
character to Gryphus and his daughter.
Tiie people were only dragging in the
two corpses, which thev came back to
gibbet at the usual place of execution
llosi hid herself this time also, but
only that she might not see the ghastly
At mi.lnigut, people again kuockcu ni
.. . , , ,.j.l
the gate of the jail; or rather at the
barricade which serveu in us stcau: it
was Cornelius Van lljcrle whom they
When the jailer received this new in-
mate, and saw from the warrant the
name and station of his prisoner, he
muttered with his turnkey smile,
Godson or Cornelius De ittei
Well, young man, we have just lure the
family cell, and we shall give it to you.
And quite enchanted with his joke,
the ferocious Orangeman took his cresset
and his keys to conduct Cornelius to the
cell, which, on that very morning, Cor
nelius De Witte had left to go into exile,
or what, in revolutionary times, is meant
nstead by those sublime philosophers,
who lay it down as an axiom of high pol
icy, "It is the dead only who do not re
O.i the way which the despairing flo
rist had to traverse to reach that cell,
he heard notlun-' but the barking of a
doer, and saw nothing hut the face of a
The dog rushed forth from a niche m
the wall, shaking his heavy chain, and
sniffing all round Cornelius in order so
much the better to recognize him in
case he should be ordered to pounce
The young girl, whilst the prisoner
was mounting ttie staircase, appeared at
the narrow door of her chamber, which
opened on that very llight of steps; and
holding the lamp in her right hand, she
at the same time lit up her pretty bloom-
ing face, surrounded by a profusion of
rich wavy golden locks, whilst with her
left she held her white night-dress closely
over her breast, having been roused
from her first slumber by the unexpected
arrival of Van Baerle.
It would have made a fine picture,
worthy or Rembrandt, the gloomy wind-
ing stairs illuminated by the reddish
glare of the cresset of Gryphus, with his
scowling jailers countenance at the top,
thc melancoly figure of Cornelius bind-
ing over the banister, to look down upon
the sweet face of K'a. standing, as it
were, in the bright frame of the door of
her chamber, with llurrieJ mien at being
thus seen by a stranger.
And at the bottom, q-iite in the shade
where the details are absorbed in the
obscurity, the mastiff, with his eyes glis-
tening like carbuncles, and shaking his
chain, on which the dou'jle light from
the lamp of Kosa, and cresset of Gry-
phus threw a brilliant glilter.
The sublime master would, however,
have been altogether unable to render
the sorrow expressed in the face of Rosa,
when she saw this pale, handsome young
man, slowly climbing the stairs' and
thought of the full import of the words,
TT1 A 1
which her father had jut spoken. "Yot
xcill have the family cell." This vi-icn
lasted but a moment much less time
than we have taken to describe it Gry-
phus then proceeded on his way, Corne
lius was forced to follow him, and five
minutes after he entered his prison, of
which it is unnecessary to say more, as
the reader is already acquainted with it.
Orvnhus nointed with Ifisflnser to the
tlie m,rtvr had suffered so
,,.,, wh0 on mt ,- i13(i rendarel his
, f!ll . Xll(. tr.:n!? i.:., cresgeL
. . . - fi. on
bnrred with iron, which looked on the
Buitenhof; and in this way saw from
behind the trees that first pale beam of
light which morning sheds on the earth,
as a wliitc mantle.
Now and then during the night, horses
liaJ galloped at a smart pace over the
Buitenhof, the heavy tramp of the patrols
had resounded from the pavement, and
the slow matches of the arquebuses, liar
ing in the east wind, had thrown up at
intervals a sudden glare as far as to the
panes of his window.
B,lt wIlcn lIie rising sun begin to gild
the coping stones at the gable ends of
the houses, Cornelius, eager to know
whether there was any living creature
about him, abproached the window, and
cast a sad look round the circular yard'
At the en J of the-yard a dark mass
tinted with a dingy blue by the morning
dawn, rose before him, its dark outlines-
standing out in contrast to the houses al
rcadv illuminated by the pale light of
r i 1 1 1. I l
orneiius recogn.zeu uie giuoet.
On it were suspended two Bhapcless
trunks, which indeed were no more than
The good people of the Hague had
cuoppeu nn me nesu oi us victims, uui
faithfully carried the remainder to the
gibbet, to have a pretext for a double in
scription, written on a huge placard, on
which Cornelius' with the keen sight of
a young man of twenty eight, was able
to read the following lines, daubed by the
coarse brush of a sign-painter,-
"Here are hanging the great rogue of
the name of John De Witte, and the
little rogue Cornelius De Witte, his
brother, two enemies of the people, but
great friends of the King of France."
Cornelius uttered a cry of horror, and
in tlip fifnnv nf liia fr.intii. trrror.
i.nocU(.,t .;,!, his hands and feet at his
do0f M vioIenlly nml c0nt;nu0U3iy, ,ha,
Grypiin;J) wjth I,ge bunch of keys
;n ,;3 han j ran furiously nn to him.
The jailer opened the door, with terri
I ,e imprecations against the prisoner,
wi,0 disturbed lum at an hour wine!
master Gryphus was not accustomed io
"Well. now. I declare, he is mad. this
new De Witte," he cried; "but all those
De Wittes have the devil in them.''
"Master, master," cried Cornelius,
seizins ttic jailer uy tlie arm anu urag-
"inir him towards the window; "master.
what have I read down there?"
"Where, down tharc?'
"On that placard."
And trembling, pale, and gasping for
breath, he pninted to the gibbet at the
other side of the yard, with the cynic in
scription surmounting it.
Gyrphus broke oat into a laugh.
"Eh! Eh! lie answered, so, yon
have read it. Well, my good sir, that's
what people will get for corresponding
with the enemies of His Highness tl
Prince of Orange.''
I he brothers JJts N itte are mur
dered!" Cornelius muttered, with the
cold sweat on his brow, and sank on his
bed, his arms hanging by his side, and
his eyes closed.
The brothers De Witte have been
,ni&ed bv the pe0I,ie- 6a!J Grvphus;
,.you c.ii"tli:lt mllrJered, do you? well,
j c;l -lt cxcouted."
AnJ gC(j;ng t,mt the pr;30ncr wa3 110t
Quj lmt cntirely prl3tra,e aml
sellseei?St ie rushed from the cell, vio-
ently 8iam,ing the door, and noisily
d,.;,,,. tie holts,
nom where hc wa9.,e' famiiy celp
as Gryphus had called it as the fatal
pa3ia!?e leading to ignominious death,
All,j as le waj a philosopher, and,
more tjmn t,ati a3 ,0 Wl13 a christian,
j(e beg.in to prar for the soul of his god-
flUliefi then for that of the Gr.md Pen-
sionary, and at last submitted with res-
nation to all the suffering which God
might ordain for him.
Then turning again to the concerns of
earth, and having satisfied liitmelf that
he was alone in his dungeon, he drew
from his breast the three bulbs of the-
black tulip, and concealed them bshind
a block of stone, on which the traditional
water-jug of the prisoa was standing, in
the darkest corner of his cell,
Useless labor of so many ye tr! such
j 6weet hopes crushed; his discovery was,
nrt.r.ill. to lead to nansht. nut as his
own career wai to be cut short. Here,
in his prison, there was not a trace of
vegitation, not an atom of soil, not a ray
At this thought Cornelius fell into a
gloomy despair, from whirh he was
only aroused by an extraordinary ciri
What was this circumstance?
We shall inform the reader in our
Continued next week
A Wonl for Ihe Wonlrn.
We do not hesitate to say that the
average Woman, educated in the better
e-lass of schools in this country, is a bet
ter scholar, and, a more capable and nc
complishfd person, that the average col
lege of the other sex. S hat we ivant u
cheaner schools of an rnual excellence.
The tanner's boy goes to college, finds
cheap tuition, wins rt?cliolarshipperhaps,
boards in- commons, earns money during
vacation, and gets through, while hi
sister stays at home, because the only
place where she can get an equal cduca-
ion are expensive beyond her means.
There is no college that needs to be so
richlv endowed as a woman's college.
U omen are not men, quarrel with the
facts as we may, and they cannot get
aiong so cheaply with such self-lielptul-
ness as men while going through the pro-
cesses of their education. If we are to
nave women s colleges, we must nave
well patd professors, philosophical appa
ratus, cabinets, collections, art-galleries, I
laboratories, and thev must be provided
for by private munificence. Provision
should be made for the poor, so that 1
high education shall corns within reach
ot all. There is not a woman's college,
or an advanced public institution for the
education of women, that is not to-day in
need of a large endowment for the pur
pose of bringing its advantages within
the reach of those whose means are small.
Now we commend this matter par
ticularly to rich women. There are
many scattered up anddown the country.
who are wondering what they shall do
with their money when, and even before.
nicy wiu. iuu u uicae wc uux ui. mhu-
lege ot commending tins great onjeci.
t . ., , rri . .
i,ei tue uoys aione. iiiey uave oeen
pretty well taken care of already, and
the men will look after them. It is for
you, as women wishing well to your own
sex, and anxious for its elevation in all
possible ways, to endow these institutions
that are springing up about the country
in its interest, so that the poor shall have
an equal chance with the rich. You
can greatly help to give theyoung women
nf oil ftlrtsaou ma neri n rlionco ni tlioiV
i J i
hrnt Ii ora oniAV find vmi nn n liurrlv flflim
a great deal as womanly feeling if yon do
B - .
not do it. Dr. J. Q. Holland; Scnbner
To Oblige n Friend.
Mr. Keyscr dropped in at Statesbury's
store the other day, and after some pre
liminary conversation he said:
"Jim; are you fond of apples?"
"Well, yes, if they are good," responded
"Well, Jim, how are you on climbing
a fence, a fence about eight feet high?
How are vou on climbing it all of a sud
"I dunno. I might get over one if I was
excited about something."
"Yes. And, Jim, you ain't much
afraid of dogs, arc you? You don't skeer
much when you kinder see a dog coming
at you, savage like? How would it strike
you now if such a dog as that was to
grab you by the leg?''
"Why, I wouldn't let it, of course."
"Well, Jim, I come around to ask you
a tavor, as a menu. Jim, l ve just
bought a new dog, a sorter bull-terrier,
and the man said he'd tly at almost any -
body, and hold on until he was dead.
Now I have an idea the fellow was lying
to me, and I thought mavbe if you'd
around and help me to give that dog I
well, give him a kinder trail trip, I might
find out about him.
"What do you mean by a trail trip?"
"Why, I thought I'd sec ifyou wouldn t
go into my garden and pretend to steal
apples, and I'd sick this dog on you, and
then yon Usee if that man misrepresent!
tlio fnpfd t ft (IIP
"Certainly I won't."
Ml. ..,,.;.. trr , m
You may have all the apples you can
Wl.v vn mint I. ra"
"UVn'i ,. Vol In nl.lim. a friend?
Not to ascertain the value of what may
be a splendid fighting dog?"
'Of f-nnnp t won't "
"Oh. very well. then, don't: but the
first time 1 see you anywhere near my
place I II try him on you anyway,
don t muni a man being uisoDiig.ng, uui
niien iiesomary mean mc j j
he disgusts me.
Mr. Keyser is still looking for a per
son for his pet to experiment on. Max
4 i.r.. -. r T
siaeicr, in j. i. ncciy.
A jailor in n Western Slate had re
ceived strict orders to keep his prisoners
in snlitarv confinement Once wiien he
had two i'n charse, one escaped, and he
was obliged to kick the other out of the
door to comply with the regulation.
Counsel (to witness) "Now, sir, what
is the character of the plaintiff in this
suit?'" Witness "Her character is slight
lv matrimonial." Counsil "What do
mMn a sli-htlv matrimonial
"character!" Witness-"Siie's been mar
J seven times."
One sqnarr, one insert on ...$ 1 00
One square, each mlditinnal insertion- 5U
0nequare, one ve.-ir..-.. ......... 10 00
One-fourth column perjear..... 31) 00
One-tliird column, per jtar..... ,40 00
One half column, per year......... 60 00
One column, ono jenr-......... 10(1 00
For hortcr time, at proportionate rale.
One inch of (pace eon-.tito.tea s rqnare.
The matter of yearly ailverti.ement. ehan-f il
quarterly free of charge. For farther panic
Jso. P. IWRRrrr A Co., Publishers,
The Independent publishes the follow
ing epitaph from- a tombstone in Chau
Neuralgia worked on Mr? Smith
Till 'neath the soil it laid her;
She was a worthy Methodist,
And served as a crusader.
Friends came, delighted at the call,
In plenty of good carriages ;
Death :s the common lot of all.
And cornea more oft than marriages.
If this sort of obituary poetry is to be
written in country town, G. Washing-.
ton Childs, A. H.f must look otrt for hia
A school-master, who had an inveter
ate habit of talking to himself, was nsked
what motive he couli hnve in doing so.
He replied that he had two gco'd and
substantial reasons. In the first place.
he liked to talk to a sensible man; arnl
in the second place he liked to hear a
sensible man -talk.
"I don't see anything the matter with
this pudding." said a fellow nt a Thanks-
Eiving dinner. "Well, who said there
wail7 Er0ic 0nt his neighbor. "Whv."
a;j ,le first ..j concluded there was, as
yo h geem to te rnnnin5 it down!"
Hard, horny hands, embrowned by the
sun and roughened by labor, are more
honorable than wbite ones that never
reached out to- help a fellow-creature or
added a dollar to the world s wealth
When a person fee!.s disposed to over
estimate his own importance, let him re
member that mankind got along very"
well before bis birth, and in all proba
bility they will get along very well after
A Tnilni mfi n in n. mnaii. Qrinn nod
... nr,m, rAal;.v.n.
,ad who parcl,ase
. of thea-senfieman'.
.... m n
Josh Billings remarks: "The only way
tu git through this world and eskape cen-
sure and abuse iz to take sum back road.
I You kant travel the main tnrnpike and
I do it.
Said a wag, pointing to a blind wood-
sawyer, "Nobody ever saw that man see.
ut hundreds have seen him saw."
I iuarrivu UCULHC Will JlilVC 11U UlUJUitV
In rt i'rc alnnir to oil if tltAtr nlrvava Vfn
, , . ., . 1 , -
I t-rn linn In th hln.i hMr flml fiir
Good conundrum for yotlng ladies to
practice on: When will the alphabet have
only twenty-five letters? When you and
I are made one.
When they catch a man gathering Del
aware peaches at midnight, they preserve
whatever cf trniti he hna in him hv
. , ... - , - ... . . .
Broklyn claims a patent on 'the new
method of curing rheumatism" Crowd it
into the two last fingers and cut them off.
Mr. Keely hasn't got that motor to
suit him yet; but there is plenty of time
If forced to do it, one can put up with
steam-engines until spring
A Tennessee girl told a fellow she
would give htm a kiss if be would catch
her. She ran well till sheirotout ofsizht
of,Le olJ fo,k9 anJ then ;n-
Eugene "Come, sit down on the
1 shelly shore, and hear the mighty ocean
roar." Amelia "I cau t bit down, you
silly goose, because I'd burst my pin
I back loose.'
Economy is beginning to prevail again.
At a funeral, Saturday, nine men ap
peared with unblacked boot heels.
'Cold streaks plating tag down my
j,ack." is the way a little Ypsilanti
(Jiici,.) g;rl describes the approach of an
, , f
' "' IUIHHJ
V ne w"o Par" "a r ,n
middle? They answered that three such
were 'JmS a'M- iUtn 1 U,e "WJ1
uesigueu ana was soon no nunc
"Any letters for Mike Howe: asked
an individual or a cierK ai a josi uince
window. "2o letters for anybody 3
i ,. . . . .. , ,ast
, v.... Wonder if she danced
I on three feet?
ArL-nnsns man is travelinff around
- , .. . lecture-composed of ei-'ht
cliaptersof the Bible, and none of the
I . - ... ... .. ..
hearers have detected the literary thelt.
The latest novelty in the way of making
rn.l niivc haa bc;n reached l.y a
Ktokuk butcher. He gives away a
chromo with every ten pounds of meat.
It must mke a man feel mean to psy
ail 0u ,leLt because he is goii.g to die.
anj then have the doctor pull hiiu
- throusI all right.
There is one aavantage, m.p
- in a rainy season; every poor man can
v" a watering place.
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