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THE PERFECT WAY.
Scores of Richmond Citi zens Have Learned It, If you suffer from b tckache There is only one way to cure it. TLe perfect way is to cure the kid neys. A bad hack means sick kidneys. Neglect it, urinary troubles fol low. Doan's Kidney rills are made for kidneys only; Are ind rsed by Richmond people. Mrs. r. Heater of number t07 Lorth thirteenth street, says: ''I suffered severely from kidney complaint for twenty years and at times was so bad that I could hardly tret up or down without assistance. I even had to use crutches to get about the hf use; every joint and muscle in my back felt as though it would break when I moved. I could not rest well at ciht. but always f-lt more tind and used up in the mornines thae I did the night Defore. I saw Doan's Kicney Pills recom mended, got a box at A. G. Luken's drag store and started to use them. They soon cured me. My son. was also troubled badly with bis back. He took Doan's Kidney Pills at my suggestion and the result in his case was thorough relief from his mis ery." For sale by all dealers, price 50 cents per box. Foster-Mil burn Co. Buffalo, N. Y., sole agents for the United States. Remember the name Doan's and take no substitute. TO THE SOUTH. Take tne Florida Special lor Jackson ville, St. Angustlne and all Points South via tne Popular C. R. 4 M. The C, R & M. makes connections at Cincinnati with the Florida special, the through trains on the Cincinnati Southern. Sleeping car accommodations will be reserved ol application. Connection is also made at Cinc'nnati with the Louis ville & Nasbville, through trains for Nashville, Birmine-haTi, Montpom . ery, Peasacola, Mobile and New Orleans. Special excursion rates are made to all southern winter resorts. One fare for the round trip will be made to New Orleans for the Mardi Gras, Feb. 2nd to 9th. Tv & N trains for the south, leav ing Cincinnati at 6 o'clock will be held for C. , R. & M. passengers. For further information call on Cfias A. Blair, Tel. 44 City Ticket Agent. Thou and Sent Into Exile. Every year a laree number of poor sufferers whose lungs, are sore and racked with coughs are unred to go to another climate But this is cost ly and not always sure. Don't be an exile when Dr. King's New Discovery for Consumption will cure you at home. It's the most infallible medi cine for coughs, colds, and all throat and lung diseases on earth. The first dese brings relief. Asjonding cures result from persistant use. Trial bottles free at A. G. Luken & Co. 's. Price 5c and 1. Eveay bottle guaranteed. WILL Hi: RKNIBIED. Through Service to Florida Resorts via Pennsylva nia Lines Through car service to Florida and winter resorts in the south via Cin cinnati, Atlanta and Macon, success fully inaugurated on the Pennsylva nia lines last winter will be resumed about January 6ih. l!M)2. Sleeping cars will run from Pittsbnrg and from Chicago via Cincinnati, Atlan ta and Macon to Jacksonville and St. Augustine. The service the coming season will be daily except S-inday. and the schedule will be about as follows: Leave Chicago 11:00 noon; Logans port, 3:10 p. m.; Kokomo, 3:43 p. m ; Elwocd, 4:18 p. m.; Anderson. 4:43 p. m. ; Richmond. fi:00 p. m.; Eaton, Ohio, 6:25 p.m., Hamilton, 7:05 p.m.; arriving Cincinnati 8:00 p. m., tak ing passengers through that city without change or transfer, and leaving Cincinnati 9:30 p. m. via Queen & Crescent route, arriving Cittico (Chattanoogo), 6:30 a. m.; Atlanta, 10 35 a m ; Macon, 1:00 p. m.; Jacksonville, 8.10 p. m.; St. Auirustine, 9:30 p. m. next day. Returning the through sleeping cars for Chicago, Pittsburg and in termtnliate points via Cincinnati and the Pennsylvania Lics will leave St. Augustine, 8:15 a. m.; Jackson ville, 9:15 a. m. daily, except Sun day. For particulars about the through service communicate it h local ticket agent of the Pernsylvania Lines or address W. W. Richardson, District Passenger Agent, Indianapolis, Ind. DON' TOBACCO SPIT and SMOKE Your Life away! Yea can be ...fed of ur form of tobacco nsina easily, be made well, strong, magnetic, full of new 'life and vigor by taking A0-TO-BAC, that makes weak men strong. Many gain ten pounds in ten days. Over 300,000 cured. All druggist. Care guaranteed. Book let and adeica FREE. Address STERXJNvi JLBMEDY CO. Clucago or Sew York, 4JS Says He Was Tortured. "1 suffered such pain from corns . ; could hardly wa'k," writes H. Rob j inson, Hillaborough, III., "but Buck- len'B Arnica Salve completely cured theoi. Acts like magic on sprains, bruises, cuts, sores, scalds, burns, boils, ulcers. Perfect healer of skin diseases and piles. Cure guaranteed by A. G. Luken & Co., druggists. 25c. Get What You Ask For) When you ask for Cascarets Candy Cathartic be sure you get there. Genuine tablets stamped C. C. C. Never sold in bulk. A substitutor is always a cheat and a fraud. Beware! All druggists, ice Readers You tfill confer a lasting favor and receive a reward, if you will report the name of dea'ers try ing to sell you a substitute for the Madison Medicine Co. 's Rockv Moun tain Tea. Ask your d-uggist. O Bears the Bignatora of Ira IL-d Y-a Ka Aars Bctigtt Rheumatism Curd In a Day. Mystic Cure for Rheumatism and Neuralgia radically cures in 1 to 3 days. Its action upon the system is remarkable and mysterious. It re moves at once the cause and the dis ease immediately disappears. The first d xe irreatlv benefits. 75c and 1 00. Sold dy A. G. Luken & druggists, Rionmoad. Co., 6 "Neir'ected colds make rat grave yards." Dr. Voud' X rway Pine Syrup be'ps n en am womn to a happy, vigorous old age. T O TTs. JL. A. . 1 he K;nd You Haw Hlwars BsugM Bean the Signature of LOW FARE SOUTH. TO New Orleans. Mobil and Pensa- cola via Pennsylvania Lines. Excursion tickets to New Orleans. La., Mobile, Ala., and Pensacola, Fla , for Annual Mardi Gras Festivi ties, will be sold via Pennsylvania lines February 3d to 9th, inclusive, good returning leaving those points not later than February 15th. Any body may take advantage of the low rate-, and any Pennsylvania lines passenger or ticket agent will fur nish full particulars upon applica cation. O Bast to Signature of The Kind You Haw Always Sought All Wlio Use Atomizers in treating nasal catarrh will get the best result from Ely's Liquid Cream Balm. Price, including spraying tube, 75cts. Sold by druggists or mailed by Ely Bros., 56 Warren St., N. Y. New Orleans, Sept. 1, 1900, Messrs. Ely Bros.: I sold two bot ties of your Liquid Cream Balm to a customer, Wm. Lamberton, 1415 Delachaise street, New Orleans; he has used the two bottles, giving him wonderful and most satisfactory re sults. Geo. W. McDcff, Pharmacist. HOW ARC TOUR KIDNEYS 7 Dr. Hobbs' Sparagus pills cure all kidney ills. Sample free. Add. Ster ing Remedy Co 'Tisn't safe to be a day without Dr. Thomas' Eclectric Oil in the houe Never can tell what moment an accident is going to happen. CASTOR I A For Infants and Children. The Kind You Hare Always Bought Bears the Signature of EDUCATE YOUR BOWELS ITH OAS CARETS. Canay Cathartic, cure constipation orever. 10c 25c. If C.C.C. fail, drug gists refund monev ATTENTION, SIR KNIGHTS. Spe clal Train to Williams burg Thursday Night via the C. R. & M. The Kcisrhts of Pythias have ar ranged with the C R. & M. to nn a special train to Williamsburg Thurs day evening, January 23d. on account of dedicating new hall there and initiation of seven candidates. Special train leaves the north third street station at 6:45 p. m. Returning leaves Williamsburg about midnight. Fare for the round trip 35 cents. Chas. A. Blair, City ficket Agent. Phone 44. What vou doin neighbor? Helping BilL Whafs Bill doin"? Helping Mandy? Whafs Mandv doin'? Help ing Mother. What's Mother doin'? Taking Rocky Mountain Tea. Sensi ble family. Ask your druggist. RICHMOND DAILY PALLADIUM, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 22, .902. NEW SHORT STORIES rllient a Hloa. K. R. SUeCeld. the fallback, came up from rriu.fiou the other SuuCav to as!Jrv the West SLtie Young Men's Christian association at Princeton, and iu iUustratiou f i we of his remarks he tokl ail iuttrtsting aiiHiiole of tk- footLall field. Fisher, the ;;;ant ceatei at the lriuceton teuiu. v.us uuahle to make the team at first, for. while he had the requisite puvsi ;ue for a fine pU.ytr. he eeii:e.l to lai-t th-t essential element known iu football parlance as 4.inper." "We eonkl not understand this de ficiency ia him." said Mr. Sheffield, until tne day in practice a c aeh who had kept his eye on him noticed that he stopped ami lej:i:ed the pardon of his opponent for truing at hiiu iu such an enthusiastic fushiou in one of the mass plays. Fisher's fault was dis covered. He was too poKte. lie liad always been very jren;leuiauly and courteous t-ff the field, but on the grid Iron there is not room for much polite ness." Fisher was instructed to phiy hard and clean and Lejr no luau's pardon for It. He otieyed and made the team. New York Times. Had It la Ilia Pocti-I. Representative Palzell was discov ered pacing uneasily up and down the ways and means committee ro day recently.' one "Whafs the matter," asked Repre sentative MeClellan. "You seem to t nervous." "I am nervoos." -eplied Mr. PalzelL "I'm poing to ppeak on this Philippine tariff bill. I always have stage fright for hours before a speech. "And that remind me." he contin ued. "Yeara aco President McKinley "THE DIFFERENCE BKTWEES US IS THIS. and I were waiting at a hotel to be driven to a hall where we were both announced to speak. Mr. McKinlej eat calmly smoking his cigar, while I was pacing up and down just as I am now. " 'Major." I said, 'don't you ever get nervous before speaking? You are at cool as a cucumber, and I'm as nerv ous as the valedictorian of a young ladies' seminary.' "'My dear Dalzell.' he replied, 'tht difference is this you have got youi speech in your head, and I've got mine in my pocket. "Washington Post. Prafeaaor Dramnd at a Ball. In a new biography of the late Pro fessor Henry Drummond the professoi tells of a "hundred freethinking young ladles at a drawing room meeting good people strictly excluded," aud con tinues: "Last week I went to a ball, but this is almost the only invitation I have accepted. I wanted to see the Friuce of Wales in his native jungle. It was a most magnificent spectacle and quite a thing to see once in one's life. I watched the prince and prin cess through a dance, but had no op portunity of giving them tracts! Aft er all. a ball is not such a pandemo nium. I had one or two really good talks, and one noble earl said to me. 'If I did not think Christ was as near me here as in church. I would not have come.' " He Made a Show. An English sailor recently paid off at Malta, having only a day in which to spend the money before his ship left port, hired forty 'rowing boats, formed them into a procession aud. seating himself comfortably in the stern of the last boat, be had himself aud bis forty boats rowed round and round bis ship, much to the amusement of his com rades. After making the tour several times the sailor paid the boat hire au4 then returned to duty, evidently wef satisfied. The CaaTleta Tell. The latest in "yells." says the Kan sas City Journal, is that of the con victs on their way from the jail in th county in which they are sentenced ta the penitentiary. A gang of fifteen of them from Buchanan county, the shr iff"s "guests" on a' special car. p. i vent to tlas yeill at each railway sta tion they passed between St- Joseph and Jefferson City a few days ago: "Two years five years we will stay; didn't like St. Joe anyway o Mearaphoae rd. "This talk about President Roosevelt conducting his heart to heart talks in the White House through a megaphone is all nonsense." said Senator Flkins to Senator Hanna the other day. "I've Just come from the White House, and the president talked to me in a very low tone of voice." "What did he say? asked Senator Hanna. "He asked m If this wasn't tne finest weather I ever aw." THE QUESTION IS What to do? It is not a pleasant son sat ion that first certain knowledge that one has consumption. Nor is it a happy announcement for one's family and friends. But it is no time for sentiment. Vcu can't beirin rirht treatment toe soon. Fresh air and Scott's Emul sion ! That's a good begin ning. That treatment alone has cured many cases of con sumption. It is always a help. You must not lose weight. Scott's Emulsion keeps the body in good flesh and has a special action on the Take it in time. lungs. . it'e'll send you a little to try if yon like. -COTT & BOWXt, 40 rear) stmt. N ew York. SEVEN FEET OF LIGHTNING The Inriirnl E'ertrieai iarL Ever Prod need In a Laboratory. The largest spark of lightning that can be protiuced artificially ia a little under seven feet long. Such a spark, which is of practical use in the study cf the phenomena of lightning, may be seen at the Jefferson Physical labora tory at Harvard university, where it ia produced by the tremendous power of .otAM v Its of electricity, or sev eral thousand times the power used in elect. ot-utitiK a criminal. It has l-en found also that a higher voltage can not produce a longer spark. The battery used at the Cambridge lalortory consists of 'jo.ooo cells and has a total electromotive force of about 6,000.000 volts, a greater lower than that of any other laboratory battery In this country and probably in the world. When the battery is operated In a darkened room, the reason why even the full current cannot produce a spark longer than that made by only half its total power becomes readily apparent. Not only does the current of electric ity flash from one terminal sphere of the transforming machine to the other, making an exact reproduction of light ning without the thunder, but from both terminals and from the long row Of conducting plates there Is a simulta neous brush discharge, so called, close ly resembling the effect of "heat light ning." - The high electromotive force of the battery has apparently broken down the resistance of the air, a result sim ilar to that of a diminished air pres sure. The main discbarge of electric ity that would have otherwise passed between the terminals passes through the air to the floor and walls. As the electromotive force increases more and more electricity is given off toward floor and walls, and the length of the spark between the terminals is there fore permanently limited. With this same apparatus, if it could be elevated into the rarefied atmos phere in which real lightning occurs and where neither floors nor walls can attract and dissipate the discharge, an equal electromotive force would prob ably produce a very real and terrify ing lightning flash, the length of which Would represent more accurately the tremendous power that occasioned It. The passapre of this powerful spark through various substances is natural ly very much like the effect of a light ning stroke. It has been shown by ex periments that the shattering and dis ruptive effects of lightning are very probably due to the expansion of con fined air. as. for example, when the bolt enters an old tree, or to the sud den formation of sts-ani the high elec tromotive force, that Is to say. breaks down the resistance of the air and at the same time transforms the moisture of the air into steam, thus producing -plosion that rends any surround 'Sf StlbtJ3'M A a texelaafve Edttlsa. A singular competition Is reported between two Italians who have dt vot ed their existence to collecting editions of the "Divine Comedia." One had discovered 214 editions and bis rl.ti the same number: but. determined not to be beaten, the latter bad a two hnn dred and fifteenth edition specially set up and printed in Paris, taking care that only one copy of it was printed. .. Crarjr Profeaaor. An unusual Incident occurred the nth er day at the University of Rudajtest A confirmed lunatic from the local sylnm appeared in charge of his keep er and asked to lie allowed to pass hi examination. He f.x:nd examination work quite congenial, passed very sue cessfully and returned to his asylum again with bis diploma as a professor. XothlPK to Rica. Ma The assertion that yon were "good enough to eat" did not appeal to him? May sadlyi No; he is a dyspeptic Chicago Daily News. i Her Idea. Sally Gay What is your idea of a hero? Dolly Swift A man who doesn't need any mistletoe. Puck. HUMOR OF THE HOUR The Prtre of Lihertr. Reddy the Cinch breathed freely gain. "Not guilty!" was the verdict. After many hours of terrible pr.s-rens- a jury of his eers. Influenced, by the fervid eloquence find th? failing tears of his lawyer, had declare t that Reddy did not steal the safe, but that the crime was committed by Lis astnn body whiie it was rojeeltHi into a state of kh ptouiania. Turning, he grasinnl the hand of his legal champion, lloidem Uppharde. the celebrated criminal lawyer, who put ia bis time wearing uoisy diamonds while the majority of his clients put in their time wearing' bangles on their ankles at Sing Sing. Ossining. N. Y. "Well. Mr. I'pphart'e. wet's t'e dam age?" Reddy the Cinch muttered un easily, thrusting one hand into his pocket ith a deftness Lorn of experi ence. "We'll call it only a thousand thU time. Reddy." responded the lawyer. "A t'ouaandr gasped Reddy. "A t'ousand wot?" "A thousand Trapped plunks and not a plunk less." the legal luminary re sponded grimly. Where were his tears now? "All I've got. yoH know, is a t'ousand and a fiver." protested Reddy. "1 know. But you don't think I'd take all you have, do you?" the lawyer said indignantly. "Aw. of co'se not. of co'se not!" Red dy cried ironically. "Here's de dough, aud I don't kick on givin it up. nut I hates to lose faith in human nalur'. 1 hates to see a bright lawyer like you so unperfessional." "So unprofessional?" growled the lawyer. "Dat's wot 1 said so unperfession al." reeated Reddy the Cinch. "It ain't true, is It?" "What isn't true?" "Dat dere's honor even among thieves?" And, with an Injured sigh, a tear in his eye aud one little fiver in his pock et. Reddy the Cinch went out into the cold world to project his astral body In the direction of another Krtable safe. Philadelphia North American. Thonahl It Wii ratrhlsc. Doctor Well, Mrs. Finnigan. the fact Is if your husband doesn't take care he'll have delirium tremens. Mrs. Finnigan Och. docthor. dear, an' would the children be apt ter ketch It too? Conld Coast More. Mrs. Crimsonbeak I see by this pa per that there are about niuety deaths in Shakespeare's plays. Mr. Crimsonbeak Oh, I think I've seen Shakespeare's plays killed more times than . that myself. Yonkers Statesman. Rna Doitb, McJigger What's the matter with your neck? Thingumbob Bile. McJigger BoiL eh? Thingumbob No; bile; antomo Philadelphia Press. Above Mortal Comment. Harriet Cupid Is always represented as a poor little urchin without any gar ments. Harry Yes. That Is done so that be will never go out of style. Detroit Free Press. A Saargreatioa. Passenger Bless me, I'm afraid I haven't a cent! Must I get off the car? Conductor Well, I can't let you ride, sir. You might go to the office and re port the case to the superintendent. Judge. Perpetaallr So. This year will be the greatest In our ' history." "now do you know?" "Well, why shouldn't it be? Every other year has been. Indianapolis News, We at Acalast Him. "Ob, why did yon eat that book of quotations?" asked the mother goat. "Because It was labeled 'Food for thought,' " said the sick kid. "Well, you should have thought be fore you ate It." Chicago News. Aftermath. "What ails Hammersmith?" asked Fosdick. "He had all the Christmas presents he bought charged," explained Kee dick. A Femlalae Criticism. "She seems heartless. "Well, her complexion would be a good deal better if she were liverless." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Ceaeral Sarprlae. Bessie I was surprised when Ir. Dashleigh asked me to marry him. Tessie Everybody else was. Ohio State Journal. A Patient Doetee. She Married life has Improved young Dr. Squalls very much. He Yes; be takes it according to directions. Fii3 Real Celery Medicine. Cur Const i pat ion, Nervoos llorJers, fick-HeurfartHS Ki jr.t r timuca, I'.VP I'- lt.d'Sstion, sea tH Ftomarh, "vr and aowrt diseases. It ir a Celery tuuie & PICj.PL "Jlf wife had plmplee on her I are, but she hat been k.kiur CA.-'AKfcrrs aud they have all disappeared, i hud tmen troubled with consupaiion tor now lime, but after tak ing the first Caacuret I have bad no trouMa with (bis aliment. We cannot ! ak too hl(h ly of 'asearet." Knci Wakimar. (TIM German toan Ave., Philadelphia. Pa. CANDY Pleasant, Palatable. Potent. Taste Good. Oo Good. Never Sk-keti. Weaken, or Untie. Urn, XjcMo. ... CURE CONSTIPATION. MTA BAf Hold and vtiaranteed tv al! drua I U'SAIa aiua to CV at K Tobacco Uatub PUBUG NOTICE Wo wish to announce to the paopie o this trinity that wa hae secured the Agnacj foe C. E. Carter's CateiTh Ccro A posit! .a enra for Nasal Catarrh, Cokf ha th Head. Sore Throat. Inllanwa and Sa'onasi Tonsils, All Catarrhal Threat Tronhtea, Clog gen Nostrils, Excessive Nasal Discharrea. Hackioa; Cough. Dry . ChoKtaf Fcellnc. This remedy has bean a sinal and instnnt'eoua rocoeaa. It Is soothing in its action ami oduces on ita rst application a eonsat ion of xhtf ul relief atid benefit, instantly kills the Trtaoterial Gena, wuich prodncDS Catarrh 'H the Head, Koea and l'hroat, and eventually leads to snch serious ironbles as Asthma, Ctw - iptlon, Laryniritfs, dronchitis. and mai-.y o'. ir lisetaes too num. eror.s to mention. Cm jo aied by the moil aelicato persons er cui'.-lrun wiliMut hrmf'U M nauseous result.. PRICE BOC. AND SI .OO The $1.00 size contains two aai oae-haif times the quantity of ue SOc aiaa. a E. CARTER & CO- 71 " Jacltsaa S. CHICAGO - Trade supplied by A. G. Luken A Co., wholesale drugg's 628 and 630 Main street, Richmond, lnd., and Charles T . Magaw, druggist, 201 Fa. Wayne Avenue, Richmond. Ind. ED. F. DALBEY 48 N. EIGnTII 8T. Photographer OUT-OF-DOOR WORK A 8ITC1ALTT A'IMAII UKOUPS ric'ic PARTIES) OATHEBIKfi" n.H.MEEKHOFF SANITARY PLUMBING Steam and Hot Water Heating SE WEB AGE, ETC See us for Estimates. Piione 4ft. i 8. Mnth Snndat Rates to all Points On tne C. ft. A 91. The C. R. & M. made a Sunday rate to all points on their lice one fare for the round trip. Tickets good returnicg same day only. Sunday rates to Cincinnati $1.95 for the' rourdtrip. Trains leave here 9:30 a. m. returning leave Cincinnati 7:30 p. m. arriving at Richmond 9:35 d. td. C. A. Blair, City Ticket Agett. Phone 44. A Deep SfTatery. It is a mystery why women endure backache, headache, nervousness, sleeplessness, melancholy, fainting and dizzy spells when thousands have proved that Electric Bitters will quickly cure such troubles. "I suf fered for years with kidney troubie." writes Mrs. Phebe Cherley, of Pe terson, Ia., and a lame baek pained me so I could not dress myself, bu EU etric Bitters wholly cured me,and although 73 years old, I now am able to do ail my housework." It over comes constipation, improves appe tite, gives perfect health. Only 50o at A. 6. Lukes A Co.'s drag store.