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"On the Plea of "Insanity."
Of fashions -which forever rage 'Mid9t fallible humanity The foremost fashion of the age Appears to be insanity 1 Whene'er a crime committed is Unusually bad. Its author thus acquitted is: " Of course he must be mad I A scholar has a shrewish wife. Who little things complains about; lie gets enraged and takes her life By scattering her brains about. v He'd ne'er, had he retained his wits. Have done an act so sad ; His studies overstrained bis wits Poor fellow, he was mail A woman, dragged by passions down, Io hide her criminality. Sowed poison broadcast through a town With hideous prodigality; By strychnine shed diffusively. She chanced one luckless lad To kill which proves conclusively Tne she, of course, was mad 1 Brought up on mad Dick Turpin tales. And sick for notoriety. An idiot the Queen assails. And horrifies society: ' But when to tales he's read so oft We nine more tails would add. Again it has been said bo oft I We're told, "Poor thing, he's mad!" Of intellect's vast march we hear But this I say unfeignedly. The march of intellect, I fear. Is marchin March-hare-brainedly. That "madness" is paronymous With " badness," seems the fad; If so, why they're synonymous. And every one's gone mad 1 Woman's Lore. A woman's love is like the stream Incased in winter's ice and snow : Which by the sun's warm vernal beam Is made impetuously to flow. Her love is like a stalk of rose. Which in cold winter seems as dead ; Yet with the summer's breath it blows. And then sweet flowers crown its head. Her love is like the evening star ; Though long on earth in vain it gleam. Yet waits in its cold world afar. Till loving eyes observe its gleam. Her love is like the nightingale, , Which in its cage though wounded, sings ; Its heart and soul breathe in its wail. When it laments imprisoned wings. Bottvn Tratucnpt. the A Collection of Valuable Hints on Best Means of Advertising. From the Detroit Tribune. Judicious advertising always pays. If you have a good thing, advertise, If vou haven't, don't. Let your advertisements have some thing of the dash in them, without great exaggeration. Don't be afraid to invest in printers' ink, lest your sands of life be nearly run out. Large type isn't necessary in advertis ing. .Blind folks don't read newspapers, Never run down your opponent s goods in public. Let him do his own advertising. You can't eat enough in one week to last you a whole year, and you can't advertise on that plan either. Injudicious advertising is like fishing where there's no fish. You need to let the lines fall in the right place. It's as true of advertising as of any thing else in this world if it is worth doin? at all, it is worth doing well. Handbills and circulars are good of their kind, but they cannot take the place of newspaper advertisements, No bell can ring so loudly as a good advertisement. People will believe what they see rather than what they hear. Small advertisements, and plenty of them, is a good rule. We were all ba bies once, yet we made considerable noise. We don't recommend advertising as the best way to get a wife ; but we know that it is best way to get a good trade, When you advertise, see that you do it on the same principle that you buy goods, get the most you can for the money. If you can arouse curiosity by an ad vertisement, it is a great point gained. The fair sex don't hold all the curiosity in the world. People who advertise only once in three months forget that most folks can't remember anything longer than about seven days. Quitting advertising m dull times is like tearing out a dam because the water is low. Either plan will prevent good txmes irom ever coming, A constant dropping will wear a rock. Keep dropping your advertisements on the public, and it will soon melt under it like rock salt. A maa should do for his advertising' something as he does lor his stock or goods arrange it so as to attract atten tion by its novelty, variety and good taste. When people see a man advertise they know he is a business man, and his advertising proclaims that he is not above business, but anxious to do it. " Dull times," it is said, are the best for advertisers." Because when money is tight, and people are forced to econo mize, they always read the advertise ments to ascertain who sells the cheap est, and where they can trade to the best advantage. According to the character or extent ol your business, set aside a liberal per' centage for advertising. - Keep yourself unceasingly betore the public and it matters not what business of utility you may be engaged m, lor, it intelligently and industriously pursued, a fortune will be the result. The man who advertises shows not only a business talent above his neigh bors, but he may at once be reckoned among the independent, generous and public-spirited men ol the community. He who hides his light under a- bushel, when such advantages as those at pres ent afford are so freely offered him. doe3 not deserve to succeed. That was a profound philosopher who compared advertising to a growing crop, He said : The farmer plants his seed, end while he is sleeping his corn is growing. So with advertising. While you are sleeping or eating your adver tisement is being read by thousands of persons who never saw you nor heard of your business, nor ever would, if it had not been lor your advertising." A prominent advertiser of New York received a short time since a letter directed to him at a street and number from which he removed over seventeen years go. The writer stating tlat he had noticed an advertisement in an old newspaper and wished to make some purchases in case he was still in busi 'r t . : , i , ness. a uis suuvvs mat newsDaners are not always thrown away and their con tents lorgotten. Jones invents some Small article of great value and makes money out of it. Brown gels up a new thing ir. i the way of advertising and finds it mine of : wealth. Robinson, though really much astonished at these results, merely says : " Perfectly simple any one might have done that." v Yet Rob inson plods on v as usual; these "perfectly simple" , things are left un tried, and people socu begin , to . think that R. himself is perfectly simple, as are most men who continue to be left always out in the cold. I The progress of population and set tlement is so rapid that a "good old house" which does not advertise is in danger of losing much sound custom. Some people think it smacks of dignity to say they can live without advertising. They may live upon this kind of dignity, but hie is one thing, and success in lite is another. A good reputation in busi ness eans that you shall be widely as well as favorably known. A good ad vertisement is worth a good price. A bad advertisement is worth nothing. A French writer savs that " the reader of a newspaper never sees the first insertion of an ordinary advertisement ; iecond insertion he sees, but does not read : the third insertion he reads ; the fourth insertion he looks at the price : the fifth insertion he speaks of it to his wile : the sixth insertion he is readv to purchase : the seventh he pur chases." Your object in advertising is to make the public understand what you have got to sell, and if you have not the pluck to keep advertising until you have imparted that mlormation, all the money you have spent is lost. If any one knows your hrm to be the best in your peculiar line, everybody becomes your good and willing reier ence, and everybody s iriena, wno naa thought of going to some rival house, because he knows not of you, will, on speaking of his determination, have vour name pronounced to him with commedation. in lact, the man wno is thoroughly advertised must continue to thoroughly advertise ; but having once made his name a household word, he receives much gratuitous advertising from the great public, always desirous of helping those who have plainly shown that they need no help. The importance ol advertising is un disputed and universally admitted. The extent to which it is carried proves, be yond doubt, its usefulness and advan tages. The man who advertises once is sure to do so again, and irom each out lay in this direction he reaps more and greater advantages. It opens the most direct road to success, and offers equal inducements to all parties. A glance at any of our papers will show at once the fact that those who avail themselves most of this system are from the highest rank in business life, and this position they owe in a great measure to a steady exercise of the course we have pointed out. It you have a good live advertisement running through any good list of news papers, you have thousands of servants at work tor you, whether you wake or sleep, whether you be sick or well. No monarch's slaves ever scattered at his bidding so fleetly or faithfully, or in such bewildering numbers, as the liter ary messengers that bear you individual word to the people of this great nation. A Cool Confession. Paris, April 16. Margaret Diblanc, the murderess ot Madame Kiel in Fark Lane, London, having been arrested in this city, was examined lor hve hours to day by the Commissioner of Judicial Delegations. She exuibited wondertui coolness, and gave a shocking circum stantial account of the murder, her verb al realism being heightened by panto mimic illustrations ot the homicidial struggle. Her eyes, too, glared with t:ger-like ferocity. With much ingenu ity she strove to show that there wa no premeditation. Her story is that Madame Riel was habitually a tyrannical mistress. When dressed for a walk in the park she came to the kitchen and scolded her because no preparations were made for dinner. Sue then snatched up a saucepan from the cook's hand to put on the fire herself. The cook said, "If I do not give satisfaction, pay me my wages and let me go." The mistress replied, "It you leave you will become a street-walker." "Say that again if you dare !" said the cook, and the insult being repeated she strangled her mistress, lhe magistrate observed that her nails were very short, and he could not believe that she killed Madame Riel with them. The prisoner replied, "I did though, and my nails entered her flesh. I first tried to conceal the body in the dust bin. and I could not. I then took it by the feet, but being un able to drag it, 1 got a cord and parsed it round her waist. Finding the body bent double, I put it round her neck. At this moment the housemaid, who was out on an errand, knocked at the door. I sent her away for beer. I hen I tried to drag the body up stairs, but could not, and hid it in the cellar." Marguerite Diblanc says that the robbery was an afterthought, occasioned by the keys falling from the victim's pocket. The magistrate expressed his opinion that the murder was committed with the New Tunnel Under the Alps Rapid Communication Between England and France. Science and engineering skill are fast destroying the natural barriers between the countries of Europe. A tunnel under the Alp3 at the Pass of St. Gothard is projected, which will unite Germany and Italy. It will be twice as long as that under Mount Cents, and through much harder rock ; though it is thought that by the aid of improved machinery in the hands of workmen em ployed in the latter tunnel, it will be completed in less time. The cost of the work is estimated at $37,000,000. England and France cannot wait for a tunnel to unite these two countries. As a substitute, it is proposed to run enor mous ferry steamers between Dover and Calais, at such speed that the trip can be made m a single hour, .bach steamer is to be 450 feet long, propelled by dis connected engines of 1,400 horse-power capacity. The docks at each end of the route are to be covered by immense buildings, so that the boats will be under cover during the time of receiving and discharging passengers and goods. Travelers and freight bound from Lon don to Paris can, if desired,'remain in cars during the entire trip. By the aid of hydraulic machinery, it is believed that the cars may be lowered from the railway tracks to the steamer in five minutes. Passengers may remain in their seats, or descend in a steam pro pelled elevator. Arriving in Calais, the cars will be raised in the same way. Freight trains will occupy the hold of the steamers, passenger trains the middle deck, while the upper deck will afford an excellent place for observa tion. The examination of baggage will take place on board the boat by custom house officials, who will have their offices there. - ; i A Wonderful Clock. Droz, a mechanic of Geneva, produced a clock, which excelled all others in ingenuity. . On it were seated a negro, a shepherd and a dog. When the clock struck, the shepherd played six tunes on his flute, and the dog approaced and fawned upon - him. This wonderful machine was exhibited to the King of Spain, who was greatly delighted with it. " The gentleness of my dog," said Droz, "is his least merit. If your Majesty touch one of the apples which you see in the shepherd's basket, you will admire the animal s bdvJity." ihe King took an apple, and the dog flew at his hand, barking so loud that the King's dog, which was in the room, be gan to bark also. At this the courtiers. not doubting that it was an affair of witchcraft, hastily lelt the room, cros ing themselves as thev departed. Having desired the Minister of Marine (the only one who ventured to remain) to ask the negro what o'clock it was. the Minister did so, but obtained no reply. Eroz then observed that the negro had n"t yet learned Spanish, upon which the question was repeated in French, when the black immediately answered him. At this prodigy the firmness of the Minister also forsook rope, and riot with the hands alone : the rope wits thrown like a lasso, and the bonnet strings forced into the neck. The prisoner ate a breed and cheese luncheon with the other servant, and at 7 in the evening took the railway train. Among the witnesses examined was the woman Bouillon. She at first denied receiving the stolen property, but when confronted with her husband admitted the fact, and said she had burned the velvet bonnet which the prisoner brought from England. Gerard, the charcoal dealer at St. Denis, said that Diblanc confessed the murder to him before the police arrived, and he meant them, but advised her she had nothing to fear because she was a Belgian, and also because no cutting instrument be ing used to draw blood it was not a murder. A waiter, an old acquaintance of Diblanc, passed April 11 with her t the Gingerbread rair. lhey visited shows, rode in merry-go-rounds, played ecarte, and threw lor macaroons, in the course of the examination Diblanc complained of dizziness and a suffocating ieeling. An Entire Family Massacred Near Bor deaux, France. The Gironde newspaper gives the fol lowing particulars respecting the mur der ot nve persons at xsarp, near Bordeax : " Yesterday afternoon rumors ot a mghtiul crime, committed near the line Irom Arcachon to Marcheprime, was circulated in our city, it seems that an entire family was assassinated on Tuesday night at the house of one Manaut, or Mano, called the Mason At 10 o'clock the authorities received the following dispatch from Marche prime : ' An entire family has been assassinated during the night at Tas- tous, in the commune of Barp. Five persons are lying dead. Watch travelers of suspicicious appearance. Children say they have Eeen a band of gipsies in the wood.' The victims occupied an isolated house among the pines, at the place called Tastous, in the commune of Barp, Belin cantan, four miles from the Marcheprime station, and three hundred yards from the road from Marcheprime to Barp. lhey belonged to the family of the rural postman, who was away irom home at tLe time ot the crime. The family is composed of the father- in-law and mother-in-law of the post man, and their daughter, his wife ; the last-named is the mother ot four chil dren. Three adults were found lying about ten yards Irom the house, mutila ted by a hammer, others say by a knife. Two of the children, one aged five years, the other sixteen months, were killed in their bed. The two elder children, one seven, and the other nine years ot age, were in tea and in another room, Having heard nothing they did not I the assassins did not discover them. The mother-in-law who had re ceived several wounds, was still alive during yesterday, but, it is said, could not speak. There was no hope that she would survive the night. We do not yet know the motive of the crime, which, by the number ot the victims, recalls that of Traupmann. It has, however, been ascertained that al though the house was a poor one, it had been pillaged, lhe cupboards were ransacked. The magistrates of Bordeaux yesterday sent two of their body to Barp, the procureur of the republic, M, De Larouverade, and the juge'd inf truc- tion, M. 1'ichard de la lour, who left by the 2 o clock train, and who will not return until this evening. The inhab- full of indignation at the news of these horrible acts, have started in pursuit, and are scouring the woods, where it is thought the criminals have sought refuge." children. Yes (raising his voice), he had twelve sons, and. brethren, thev were all beys." With this he sat down very suddenly, and then arose and gave out tne doxoiogy. Death of a Patriarchal Canine. On Saturday, " Napoleon," John Wil son's old circus dog,died in this city at the advanced age ot twenty-three. Dogs die daily that deserve no particular men- tion,but "Napoleon" merits as fairashare ! of honorable reference as any dog that ever lived or died in this city. One lact alone will prove it. He accomplished more in his lifetime than thousands of men do in theirs ; he saved three per sons from drowning, at the risk of losing his own Jite. 'Napoleon'' knew all about the circus, and was never better pleased than when witnessing or par ticipating in the sports of the sawdust arena. When he reached the years of doghood he became subject to fits, re sulting in precipitation of blood to his overwrought brain. He became his own physician, and instead of resorting, as men similarly afflicted sometimes do, to stimulating diinks, which aggravate their malady, he tried cold water. Whenever he felt an attack coming on " Napoleon" would start for a bucket of water or a trough, plunge his head into the water and hold it there as long as he could hold his breath. This gen erally had the effect which he desired. A.8 age advanced he became deaf and blind, and his limbs were stiff and al most useless, lhe Jast attack killed him. " Napoleon" was a " traveled" dog. He came to this city from New Orleans when but a youth, and soon en gaged with Wilson's Circus. With that he visited nearly every county and town in the State and on the coast. He also visited Australia and China, and became a favorite of men wherever he went, for he was honest and true. Yesterday " Napoleon" was buried on a hill at the corner of Powell and Sacramento streets, in the presence of a very large company of men who had known and respected him. A gentleman read a sketch of his life, and when they all went away, fre?h flowers and wreathes lay on old "Na poleon's" grave. San Francisco Bulletin. Hints on House Building. A paper on this subject, read by Ed ward Roberts, F. S. A., before the Royal Institute of British Architects, closes as follows : 1. Never allow pervious drains in pervious soils. Z. Never allow a cesspool or dram near a well. 3. Never select gravel as a building- site if well-drained clay can be ob tained. i. Never allow drinking water to be drawn from a cistern supplying a water closet. 5. Never allow waste-pipes to be in serted into water-closet traps. 6. Never allow rain-water to run to the ground if it is required above. 7. JSever allow water to stand in pipes exposed to frost. 8. r ever allow pipes to be hxed so that they cannot empty themselves. , 9. Js ever ventilate except by pipe3 or tubes ; inlets and outlets being ot equal size. 10. Never use glazed earthenware pipes for upward flues. 11. Never allow chandeliers to be the exclusive light merely because it has been customary. An Austrian Tii-hborne. Tennyson's crime in creating Enoch Arden, and so preparing the way for the countless repetitions ot that story in real life, from which we have Bince suffered, bids fair to be surpassed by Tichborne-Orton s crime in setting other adventurers or other wandering Baronets a bad example. Since his trial began, we have had similar cases reported from half-a-dozen States in this country, from France, from Italy, and now from Austria. .The Austrian Tichborne is a Colonel Estvan, who ciaimed that the Imperial family, as the representatives of Maxmilian, were in debted to him in the sum of ?25,000, due him from the Mexican Emperor in return for many important services, which he narrated in detail and tried to substantiate by a mass of documents. His case, which seemed at first very strong, was terribly weakened during the trial. It was finally proved that his name was an assumed one ; that he was a n utive of Vienna, the son of a dyer, and very illiterate; that he had lived in New York since 1850, and had never been in Maximilian's service at all ; and that he was, in short, an utter sham. He sued for $25,000, and re ceived an award of six years' imprison ment at hard labor. My First Lion Hunt. A writer in a London magazine thus graphically describes his first adventure in hunting lions : On coming in sight of the natives, who had been left to watch the animal, I at once saw that it would be a case of close quarters, as the men only made signs and would not speak ; and on our quietly asking where our expected foe was hanging out, they pointed to a large tree certainly not more than forty yards distant from us. Taking a good look at the caps of my rifle, and feeling with the rod that both bails were close down, I took up a position in front of the tree just in the line of road the natives said the beast was in the habit of taking when going abroad, and plac- d a native with my second gun clos behind me; the rest of our party and the native hunters distributing themselves in a circle round the tree, so as to be ready for whichever side she broke cover. All being ready, a signal was made to a number of natives sta tioned in the adjacent trees, and they began to shout at the top of their voices : and in an instant we heard a noise like the growling of a mastiff, in creasing in sound and intensity. My readers must not fancy that the noise thev hear from the kingly beast in cap tivity is anything like that which he makes when in his native walks. Placing his mouth near the ground, the monster gives a prolonged growl, which reverberates around in a volume of sound which can be heard for miles, striking every living thing with terror. Such was the sound which now broke the stillness of the air. The native be hind me Dressed my arm, and told me she was very angry. Immediately after this she rot up. and we saw her lor the first time as she began walking up and down under the tree, as you see the animals in the Zoo do in their cages, lashing her sides with her tail and some times throwing it right over her back. All at once she saw me, rather stooped the tore part of her body, put back her ears, opened her mouth, gave tnree or four heavy growls, and showed the whitest teeth I ever saw in my life. At that moment I fired my right-hand barrel direct at the dent between her eyes, and no sooner had I done so than, with a frightful roar of agony and rage, down she came full upon me. Thank God, I am steady and cxl, and let her have the second barrel full in the chest : but it failed to stop her, I had just time to seize my second gun from the native, who fortunately, stood like a rock ; and not being able to get it to mv shoulder, I fired both barrels from hip straight into her chest ; but that did not stop the intuiiated beast, for with a plunge she threw me flat on my back and lay on me, with one paw on each side of my chest. She then put her head down with that kind of growl ing noise with which a bull terrier wor ries any kind of varmint, right over my throat and chest. . To attempt to de scribe the horrors of the situation I was in would be simply an impossibility. My friends and the natives were trans fixed with fear, utterly unable to render me the slightest assistance. But one little accidental circumstance saved my life. In being thrown down, I had providentially kept hold of my second gun, and on the brute stopping to worrv me I thrust it up in involun tary self-defense. Laying hold of it in her massive teeth she took it out of my hands like a straw, and for some mo ments contented herself with venting her rage upon it, and broke it all to pieces. During all this time my friends, thrugh but a few yards from me, feared to fire upon her lest their shots should strike me. Presently she seized me by the shoulder and shook me as a puppy does a ball of cotton, fearfully mangling and crushing the arm ; and then for a time lay perfectly still, keeping her teeth in my shoulder. Suddenly she let go, rose slowly to her feet, staggered away a tew yards, and leu dead. My friends, on coming to lift up what they fully believed to be my dead body, could hardly credit their semes at tnd ing me still alive, and, with the excep tion of a badly mangled shoulder and arm, comparatively unhurt, the more so as I was perfectly drenched with the animal's blood. It had long been the wish ot my heart to have a hand-to-hand encounter with the " lrd of the forest," and I certainly had it gratified with a yen geance. I have shot others since, but have never had so near a shave ; and frequently, when I wrap myself up in her skin, now doing duty as a rug, I think to myself, with a shudder, how near death I was in obtaining it. A Popular Poem. Mary had a little lamb. Its ores were heavenly blue; And if you touch that little lamb. "Ill put a head on you." And so the teacher turned him oat. But still he lingered near. And waited patiently about, "Then walked off on his ear." She put him in his little bed, And bade him go to rest, "You bet," the lambkin said, "I'll do my level best." Mary had a little lamb. And snow white was his skin; But when it followed her to school, lhe boys said : " That's too thin." She missed It from her side: "Alis!" She said, "my lamb's a goner," But he was only nibbling grass By the " Little Church round fas Corner." Mary had a little lamb. . Its tail went with a jerk. - So she cut it off between the ar i To " see the old thing work' Mary had a little Iamb, Its fleece was white as snow. And every time it heard a " ba-a-ih," It bleated " Not for Joe." Mary had a little lamb. It drank cold water freely, And looked so innocently wise, she called it Horace Wreele; Uodey Eadv'i Booh. A Minister Nonplused. A young minister, who had been invited to preach in a church where the congregation waa very much opposed to written sermons, found him self in a very unusual and unpleasant condition when he rose to announce his discourse.' He had never preached without notes, and all his ideas fled as soon as he had announced his text. He paused ; told how his text was divided: paused again; repeated his text, and then made several unsuccessful efforts to say something about something. He tried the creation, but that would not do. Then he atteniDted something about the patriarchs of old, but failed Everything Colored Eloquence. At a Fourth-of-July celebration, just after the war, a colored orator waa holding forth to a crowd of his fellow citizens of African descent. He was much disturbed that the whites and blacks had been separated during the exercises of the day, and thus deplored the fact: " Feller-citizens," said he, ' dis is all wrong. 'Taint so in the animal king dom. Out on de perairey ye kin see de white cows and de black cows all eatin' de same grass. Dey a'n't ashamed o' one anoder. De white cow don't turn ud her nose and say, 4 Go 'way, nigger beef 1' An' in de wegi table kingdom it is de tame. When you pick a posey you put de white flowers and de black flowers ail in together, and one smens jist as good as anoder. So it ought to be, bredren, in the human Kingdom. again. Everything seemed very dark iO him. until he thought of .Toserih. He him, and he retreated precipitately, de-.t had read of him so much that he was claring that it must be the work of a i sure he remembered his history. "Now, supernatural being. brethren," said he, " Jacob had twelve A New Humbug. Brigham Young's brilliant success in sanctifying lust has inspired a woman in Nebraska to do likewise. As Joe Smith founded the sect of Latter-Day Saints, this adventuress styles herself Josephine Smith, and her followers (when she has any) LateBt-Day baints. She abnors polygamy, and proclaims the holiness of polyandry. Her cre dentials consist of several scratched stones, which Bhe declares came from Heaven, and which she interprets as authorizing a plurality of husbands. Not having any money, she lacks the respectability of Woodhull, and, instead of living on Murray Hill, sojourns in an old army tent. Her converts are not numerous, but she is unshaken in her faith. Unaccountable Phenomena at a Party, The following story is told of a young lady and a gentleman at a fashionable party in Nashville: The young man was handsome and happy, the young lady arrayed in lavender, rose, &c, with gold-powdered hair flowing over her swanlike neck. Finding the heat of the room too much for them, they sought the cool shade of an arbor where they might listen to the fountain's tail, Ihe music rose and tell, time flew on silver pinions, and after an absence of at least an hour,, our young friends re entered the brilliantly illuminated parlors. The lady passed on in the dance, but the young man was slightly taken aback by his next neighbor in lormmg h im that round his neck was the unmistakable print of two arms in chalk and diamond dust, on ode shoul der a large pile of yellow powder, and on his upper lip and cheek diamond dust, bloom of youth, and yellow powder mixed up generally. The lady's hair was observed to be several shades paler. The Russian Kavy. The Cronstadt Messenger states that the fleet in the Black sea will be com posed this year of 18 men-of-war and 3 floating beacons, with 146 officers and 1.478 sailors. The flotilla of the Caspian sea will comprise 24 vessels, 85 officers 1,033 sailors. The fleet of the Pacific will have 29 vessels, with 131 officers and 1,396 sailors. The total number of vessels taking part in the evolutions in the home waters and cruising abroad will be 16 iron-clads and 164 steamers, with orhcers and 17,784 sailors. Patrick McNulty fell into a cauldron of boiling lye, in a saleratus factory in Jersey City, N. J., and although quickly rescued, his recovery is impossible. Yarieties. Jersey City youth keep thi police men in a proper state of subje:tion by stoning them regularly. The reason why Horace Greeley op poses female suffrage is doubtless because the ladies are all tree-traders. The base-ball fever is breaking out all over the country, and promises to as sume an epidemic form again. Ossian E. Dodge bought a chuich at auction in St. Paul, Minn., the other day, and is now wondering whf.t he shall do with it. A man carries a pound and three- quarters of phosphorus about him, and it's no wonder he sometimes gets light headed o' nights. If som'e one would only get up a sew ing machine to collect rents, mend man ners and repair family breaches, what a sale it would have. A Little Rock, Ark., paper takes pleasure in announcing the erection of a peanuttery as an evidence of the ma terial progress of the city. A newly married couple from Iowa Falls, Iowa, on arriving at the hotel at Fort Dodgei left their marriage certifi cate on the office counter by way of a guarantee. A minister who thought that report ing sermons was all vanity, afterward concluded that if the thing must be done it should be well done, and slipped a greenback into the reporter's hand, saying, " Vo not condense me. Numerous residents of Lafayette, Ind., have established a Druidical " grove," and their wives have got from the cir culating library all the copies of the "Mystery ot Jhdwin Druid' to learn what sort of doings are contemplated. Horace Greeley having heard a cer tain man alluded to as the leading milk man of Connecticut, wrote to him to know whether he was at present culti vating cocoanuts or cows, and which he found most profitable for butter and cheese. Why should an autograph -hunter naturally call on Messrs. Edward Eggle- ston, E. E. Hale, LmersoR ttheridge, or (were they living) Edward Everett and Col. E. E. Ellsworth for autographs, with reasonable hope of success. Because they all write their names with great L s (great ease). Mr. Lincoln used to tell a story of a boy who was ordered by his father to scare a stray urchin on the premises. He departed on his mission with a " turkey gobbler" strut, and shortly re turned with a discolored optic, bleeding no.-e and very much demoralized, and told his father the " darn'd boy didn't scare worth a cent." " Home and Societv," in Scribner's, is to be enlarged and improved. Some of the most accomplished of American women writers will here contribute to the edification of their country-women, in matters of household economy, dress, social ethics, the culture of flowers, home decorations, etc., etc. Some twenty unfortunate young Phil adelphians were arrested in the City of Brotherly Love on Sunday last for lounging on corners. Considering that Philadelphia deems it sinful to keep open libraries or other places of inno cent recreation on the Sabbath, and that its bar rooms are closed on that day, it would really seem as if the aver age dweller in boarding-houses had no alternative but to lounge on corners. A Valuable Beauty. j The Orientals still carry on the trade in Circassian beauties to a large extent. The Levant Herald speaks of a party which lately arrived at Trebizond, among which was a young houri of fif teen years, of such unusual beauty of form and face that she was readily bought for one hundred thousand piasters by a rich merchant. It is said that during the shocks of the recent earthquake in California, miners at work three hundred feet under ground were entirely unconscious of the disturbance at the surface, which rattled brick buildings .into a heap of ruins. This would appear to support the hypothesis lately advanced that earthquakes are produced by electrical disturbances on the surface rather than by any internal agitation of the earth. A little boy once came running in to his mother's room, and said: "O mother I I came so near being drowned in the Chickahominy to-day I" " How, my son?" exclaimed the mother in great alarm. " Why, some boys asked me to go with them to the Chicka hominy, bathing, and if I had gone, I should certainly have been drowned, for you know I can't swim." San Francisco has grown to be a great mart for raw furs. The furs imported last year were valued at over two mil lions. All the Alaska furs and those from Eastern Siberia now pass through San Francisco as the nearest route to their market, in this country or in Eu rope, and the trade is rapidly growin 3. The Albany Evening Journal states that the fortune which Hon. Erastus Corning leaves his son and only child is esti mated at no less than $8,000,000. .