Bozeman avant courier. [volume], February 20, 1879, Image 1

About Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882

Image provided by: Montana Historical Society; Helena, MT

                
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Devoted to the Development of Eastern Montana amdthie Dncoiir'n.Gremerit of all IriclTiBtrial
ol. S. .N o. 14r.
BOZEMAN, MONTANA, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 1879.
"Whole ISTo., 378,
The Largest Stock!
L UE MOST COMPLETE ASSORTMENT OF
M erchandise
a 1
v
e
31
IN EASTERN MONTANA IS TO BE FOUND AT
LAMME & CO'S
carry !b Slock Large and Fall Assortments in Each'of
the Foi lowing; Line«
<#
adies' Goods, Dancy Goods,
STAPLE AND FANCY GROCERIES ,
Gnats' Furnishing Goods,
HATS AN9 CAPS, BC3TS ANC SHOES
Goods , Carpets, Queensware, Cutlery, and all
kinds of Hardware,
HOUSE FURNISHING GOODS,
-AND
.gricultural Implements !
We have, in fact, everything needed by Ui«
Farmer, MecSaiiic lit liner.
AM) EXAMINE OUR IMMENSE STOCK. AND IF YOU DO NOT SEE
EXPOSED TO VIEW, THE ARTICLE YOU WANT,
ASK FOU IT Î
LAVE HUNDREDS OF ARTICLES IN STOCK THAT WE CANNOT
EM. MLR ATE IN THIS A DVEBTISEMKNT, OR MAKE
ROOM FOR ON OCR SHELVES.
I an enormously large business we are enabled to purchase goods and sell the
same ai lower prices than it is possible tor others to do.
II
CALL AND EXAMINE GOODS AND LEARN PRICES.
A. Lamine à Co.
STREET, Bozeman, Montana.
THE BEST PLACE
To Buy Your
OTLING,
HOOTS A-HSTD SHOES,
CROCKERY. .
iSSWARE, LAMPS AND CHANDELIERS,
Is at
ILLS ON à LEWIS.
[SUCCESSORS TO LES'i » S. WILLSON.]
?. having gone out of tiie general merchandise trade, and taken up the abovo
LI ALS," we can meet styles and prices of any bouse in Montana, either at
WHOLESALE OR RETAIL.
of Clothing is complete, for Men, Boys and Youths, is perfectly new and
fresh, made to order, and in our best lines, being fully up to
CUSTOM MADE GOODS.
of Hats and Gents' Furnishing Goods is immense, and must be seen to be
appreciated. The best of
:EIGN & DOMESTIC GOODS
hand. Boots Shoe* and Leather Findings at prices that wiH astonish
«•n Montana. _ Boots and Shoes for Gents. Boys, Youths, Ladies, Misses
Hid Children, just manufactured by the best manufacturers in the Uni
ted States, and purchased for cash and consequently at
"BOTTOM PRICES.
*1
ü AIG. or as more familiarly known, "Scotty," will preside at the " bench "
kill make or repair anything In the shape of a boot or shoe, and at prices
p suit. Call and examine. No trouble to show goods. Prices will
be one and the same to all. Goods M ill be plainly marked, and
VARIATION IN PRICES.
P„ ,i!. hat . t , llc CAUH SYSTEM is the only true one, we shall adhere strictly to
u# that make sales equivalent to cash, thereby asking no man to
P>y for anotiier's goods.
Wll«L#ON A LKWI#.
The Avant Goarier.
The Pioneer Paper or Pattern
Montana.
ESTABLISHED IN 1871.
AT
P.blUhrd Every Thnr»d*y JlArnlny.
Torrn.» of Subscription.
CASH IX ADVANCE.
O':» ye»r..............................
six months...........................
Thr.tï Montlis ........................
One Year, delivered by cmrrier. .
Siu|fi.: copies..........................
All*r.ubscriptions will he discontinued at the
•ml of the time paid for, when th» »ulwriber
so orders; «therwis», the paper will be c.nün
ued at our
Credit Rates of Subscription:
One Tear.................................... *5 00
Mr Months...... ......................... 3 U 0
Kur a shorter period, per month... ..... .00 cents.
I>»li »ereil by carrier, 00 cents per month, pay
able at expiration ofeacii mouth.
Wnrt
Matt.
Alderson.
Alder.-ou.
no
Editor» and Proprietor..
ire, Courier Ruildinr. Main Street.
Poetry.
—Written for the Avant Coihic*.—
THE ARABIAN TALE.
PART T.
There's veiy many things in life that's
sweet—
There's recollection to be cherished long :
While breath will last, or throbbing heart
does beat.
Certain^ memories on our minds will
throng ;
Some little incident, of girl and boy,
It might -have been but trivial at the
time,
A smile or kindly act that brought us
joy—
But is to many a lite a light sublime.—
And Abd el Khau, altho' a pris'ner fast.
Cherished a joy that all his life wii! last.
The loving smile wiiile he was on his i
knets,
The pleased and surprised look in lier |
bright eye,
Made his comblement but a passing breeze ; |
He had what none could steal or take
away.
But, after all, the look and smiie is but j
A shadow ot the smile and love within, j
And not to be compared, more than the i
hut J
To palace grand, or Godliness to Sin.
All beauties that we see
blind
To the realities tiiat lie behind
The finest picture e'er on canvas placed
Has left a finer in the painter's head :
The grandest sculpture e'er by chisel
traced
To tlie ideal, that was back, is dead :
The sweetest poem ever writ by pen.
With thoughts sublime, is but the small
est part
Of the emotions that were stirring when
They left the poet's lacerating heart :
And all we see on earth or ia the sky
Will be surpasse i in spirit bye-and-bye.
are dark and
But Abd el had to meet another Sirene,
That, if 'twere possible, he M ould evade.
He was conducted to the mighty Queen
To give account ot his late escapade ;
She looked quite hard and haughty on the
man,
Her words were lull as hard as was her '
look :
" I'm shocked." she said, " to think that !
Abd el Khan
• Did so ferget his place and mine, and j
took
" Such fearful liberty. Se bold he's grown
" He soon M ould try and grasp the jeM
eieil croMn ;
" I think perhaps 'twas only a mistake
" Upon his part—he thought it was the
maid
" Whose duty 'tM-as to serve him witli the
cake.
" Ilis gratitude would now make her bis
bride ;
" I have no doubt but that must be the
ease;
" But, being young, I think I'll choose
for him
" One suitable to fill the destined place.
" With youth and beauty, and sound in
mind and limb.
" We will not leave him long in bis great
sorroM'—
" The M'edding shall come off at ten to
morroM."
At early morn the palace was alive
With oiiicers, and priests, and prepara
tion
On a large scale. It was a busy hive,
Making arragements for some great oc
casion.
The bells rang lively in the minaret,
Tbe mosque was grand, and its mosaic
floor
Was filled with followers of the Prophet,
From the great altar to tbe very door.
Our hero at the altar looks quite pale,
Tiie bride we cannot see through her thick
veil.
The wedding did not seem the most auspi
cious
For all the grand display of flowers and
song;
The groom looked on the bride with eyes
suspicious,
As if he said, to him she'd ne'er belong :
Indeed, ^twas not a very tempting sight,
AverdupoU she did not seem to lack ;
She was a little over average height,
But had a monstrous bump upon her
back ;
One foot he saw was like a plasterer's
float,
Or a Missouri flat or terry boat.
it
The ceremony o'er, tbe chamberlain,
That functionary great, did then take
a
to
ba
And form'd in line of march the wedding
train :
The hnmpbnckcd bride, with leet so
strange and large.
In palankeen was placed, and curtains
closed.
A noble Arab horse received the groom.
And placed behind where his new wife re
posed.
Looked very much as it 'ttras to the
tomb
He followed some departed friend or wife:
80 hopeless was his look and dark Ids
111 «.
A troop of horse before, the same in rear,
With men in costumes rich and gay,
The maids on palfreys in the center were,
Like a hoquet of flowers on a tray.
Through avenues of palm with hanging
dates,
With spice and coffee trees on either
side.
Whose fragrant scent the whole ;iir per
meates.
Inspiring man and beast as on they glide
To resell a distant palace, where was soon
The new made pair to pass the tioney
Bioon.
The sun had passed the zenith when they
reached
The dazzling summer palace of the
Queen :
No ancient paradise that e'er was preached
Could lie compared to this enchanting
scene.
The bride and maids went to the harem
part,
And notiiing more was seen of them that
day.
.
j A sumptuous feast, to gladden every heart,
Ki t
iit soon was served in a peculiar
way :
That is, they all around the room did
squat.
And ate and drank—their table was a mat.
i
And there was mirth and joy in every
room,
And charming tales were told of love
and war
By every one, except the new made groom.
Who seem'd quite lost, with all bis
thoughts afar.
At nine o'clock the chamberlain came in
To guide him to the chamber of the
bride.
But lie was loth to go. and hard to win.
He would not walk, they therefore made
him ride—
At least, they packed him on a brawny
shoulder.
And locked him safe within the bridal
chamber.
Yes. there he was, in a most gorgeous
room ;
The mellow light from golden chande
lier
Made the rich carpet, from the Persian
loom.
Like a hoquet ot flowers to appear.
Ami in the centre stood the nuptial tied.
A summer cloud of lace it seemed to be :
A gulden fleece was hanging overhead ;
But none of these could our sad hero
see :
He had no eye tor beauty at the time.
And heaven itself would not have been
sublime.
II
went and tried the windows ; they were
barred !
Then threw himself upon the carpet
floor,
And thought bis situation very hard,
With no escape through window or thro'
door. »
At last kind sleep came there to his relief ;
For he was young and brave and full of
hope ;
He was not ready yet to die of grief.
Nor with his angry passions to elope.
He dreamt tiiat be M as sailing on a lake
And striving a white cloud to overtake.
He dreamt the Princess was within the
cloud,
And that sins blamed him tor some csld
neglect ;
He thought lie heard lier grieve and cry
aloud.
She never would forgive nor soon forge'.
He then woke up; the sun was getting
high ;
He raked his head and gazed upon the
cloud.
And there lie saw a roguish dark blue eye.
As of an angel looking from a shroud ;
This v as no dream, his M'as the normal
state,
The dark blue eye he knew belonged h
Zate.
He started for the bod, but he was told
To keep away, that she M ould go right
back
To her niaitITha ; and that such action
cold
Showed plain enough to her what be did
lack.
Then be, poor felloM-, pleaded as for life
And cursed hiiuself because he'd been so
stupid ;
He asked ten thousand pardons of his wife
And said that he had been as blind a.
Cupid.
The eloquence of love, all knoM- full well,
And his success, 1 think, I need not tell.
W. J. DAVIES.
Did the prophet Isaiah ever eat at a rail
road station? It certainly looks so, for
how could he have described it so literally
it he bad not? "And he shall snatch on
the right hand and be hungry : uad he
shall eat on the lett hand and then not lx
satisfied."
Some curious incidents happen in the
New York Post-office. A short time ago
letter came from Ireland addressed to
"My Mother, New York, America." Ol
course it was supposed it must be sent to
tiie dead-letter office ; but on tiie day of it.
arrival a woman inquired at the general
delivery window for a letter from "lier
son.'' The coincidence attracted the at
tention of tbe official in cluirge of the de
ciphering bureau. Inquiry slioMed tiiat
tbe son of the woman lived in tiie town
whose name was postmarked on the letter.
After various inquiries tiie letter was given
to the woman, with the proviso that she
should open it there; and it was found to
ba from her son. and designed for her.
3TER COI STT, 5IMTASA.
It. Extent ftntl Topographical Fea
tures—The Asricnlttiriil end Other
R..earce.—Oume, Fl.lt, Town.,
ilpslnes., Poptiiatlon, Etc.
I
From the New West. !
Custer county, occupying the extreme
eastern portion ot the Territory, is the j
most tceently organized. It is a county ot ;
"lüagniiheut distances," being 350 miles j
long and 137 wide, or containing 45.210 i
square miles—larger than the* great Slate j
ot Illinois with doughty lillie Rhode
Island "thrown in." The navigable Yel
lowstone flows through its center, its nor
thern and northeastern portions are made
up largely of the great mauvais terres, or j
badlands, wiiile its southern boundary ;
reaches well over info the beautiful Big |
Horn region. Besides die Yellowstone, j
i rivers are the Big Horn. Bos
its principal rivers are the Big Horn. Bose ;
Bud, Powder, Tongue, Little Horn, Little
] sent strong testimony
j nn( j con „ tM1 j ,j
Missouri, and such mountain ranges as the.
Big Horn, Wolf, Panther, and Powder |
River Bange aid to give it almost every
conceivable variety of landscape.
For nearly two hundred miles along the ;
northeastern base of the Big Horn nimm-,
tains, the clearest and most beautiful of j
streams sweep violently down through
their picturesque gorges, and course north- 1
ward a hundred and titty miles to tliecom- j
mon reservoir—the great Yellowstone.
These often occur at intervals of tess than
five miles. The valleys are from one to
ten miles wide, and the soil is usually a
rich, black, porous loam.
Wild rye, wild oats, native blue grass,
and all the varieties of plains grasses, pro
of fertility of soil
The average alti
tilde ot the valleys being less than 4.000
feet, ttie region of summer frosts is not
reached.
Many of the valleys contain enough cot
tonwood, ash, box-eider and other timber,
to supply logs 1. •* fuel or * adding for
years to come, wiiile flic great mountain*
overlooking on onc side, and many of the
bluffs below are covered with torests ol
pine, hemlock, spruce and cedar. We
opine that about every other settler will
own * coal mine, as the "Mack diamonds"
crop out almost everywhere, and are known
to furnish an excellent quality of fuel. !
Wc found some of our choicest hunting 1
grounds in this region. K'ik, buffalo, i
mountain sheep, black and white-tailed j
icer. antelope, grizzly and other varieties
of l>o::r. with all kinds of small game, have I
i always found in this region their most \
■coveted surroundings. The streams arej
j vet full of beaver and other fur-bearing
imiim tls. and the country is alive with sev-j
crai species ot the wolf. The rivers and j
their tributaries are plentifully supplied ;
with trout, pike, shiners, cattish, suckers
and other varieties of tisii.
.Mih s Gity. the inetro;*oli3 of all this !
muthern country, is prettily located near)
i be month of Tongue River. 425 miles;
from Ilck-na. or '125 miles ea*t of Bozeman. I
It has a jwipulation of bts); has tiie tele- I
ii to Bozeman
id Dead wood, and « !
tri-weekly stage line to the former place, j is
Every Hue of bu.-iiua s found in lively ottr j
west towns is represented here. Sales o 1
the 1 11 re« 1 aiding firms aggregated £504)00 i
per month during the past season. There j
were thirty-five steamboat arrivals on the j
Yellowstone at. Miles City last season,
landing some 2.000 tons of private freight
and large quantities of military stores for
Fort Keogh, two miles distant. Tiie toMii
ijonstsa £2,000 court house, a theatre, pub
lic schools, and a weekly newspaper is on
the eve of its first issue—all this where two
years ago the hostile Sioux reigned su
preme.
Ranches arc strung all along the road
from Bozeman to 31 lies City. Over 300
farms and slock ranches have lieen located
in this region, and large crops ot vegeta
bles and grain Mere produced the past
season. Concerning this section a fellow
visitor says : "From Bozeman to the
mouth of the Big Horn the country is.
for Montana, unusually diversified. It pre
sents one succession of plateau and bottom,
valley and foot hill, while beyond the
ranges, which obstruct the vision in the
distance, tiie table lands stretch in longdis
tance far away. Grass covers the luxuri
ant surface, the river is lined and hemmed
in by groves ot cottonMood, and almost
everywhere the soil has every appearance
of extreme fertility. As one moves down
the Yellowstone the climate so appreciably
modules that it becomes evident to the
most prejudiced that lie is entering a coun
try not only of superior resources, but ot
capabilities new to the denizens of average
Montana. It rapidly ' comes u region of
corn,and consequently a . rk country—'.he
In
so
at
presence ot the hop and tlie grape vine and j
die plum tree proves it a fruit zone—while
the melons and the finer vegetables abound
ing upon eaeh, yet rudely cultivated farm,
shows that its capabilities and natural re
'Otirees as an agricultural section have not
been over-estimated by the most sanguine."
Kirbyville, 147 miles east ot Bozeman,
and Guyville, f>5 miles below Kirbyville,
on the Yellowstone, are thriving agricul
tural settlements. Sherman, near the con
fluence of tiie Big Horn w ith tiie Yellow
stone, is another of the embryo toMns,
with a most defiglitful location.
Custer county is reported out of debt,
with uu'assessed valuation of £329,231.02.
Population of about 1 JKk).
A Imre Mailor.
Xew York r rilmue,
Thomas Humphreys Mas as brave an
English sailor as ever furled a sail. He
was crossing Carmarthen Bay a few weeks
ago, in the customs boat, with Mrs. Byd
iler (an offioer's w ife) and a companion,
so
w
°
He first endeavored to rup- j t,r
« lien a sudden gust of w ind struck ttie sail
and they found themselves struggling in j
the water.
port his comrade' who was an awkward ' w
swimmer, but the poor fellow could rot [
lie kept afloat. He then told the M'oinan ! of
to ding to the boat, while lie swam round j low
to see what could be done. He got his j t* 1
knife and opened it with his teeth, cut
away the cordage, and, after considerable est
exertion, dismasted the craft an l righted «I
tier, but as she was full of water, they
could not get in her. He therefore placed i
the mast acros* the boat, and got the worn- j very
an'sarms over it on one side while he went
and hung on the other. Mrs.
Bvddor then said, "Everyone for himself,''
and begged him to leave her and to save!
Iiiinselt, which he could onsilv have done,
I being only about thirty yards from the
! shore, but tie knew that if lie left the wom
an she would lie drowned. Tfe remained
j by her. at the cost of ids life, for an Lour
; nnd a half, shoutingail ttie while for assist
j unee. Just as a boat reached them, the
i brave fellow sank from cold and exhaust
j ion, but the woman was saved.
Knn-leit .Ven.
j rf , r ,, ~ OQ( jindeed." Thebad 'married man
; ,!i-t r ,'jits bis family In every war and gen-■
| orally ends with elopin«- With s'otnebodv
j ani ] j PaVM },is wife to earn a livlrur hr tine
Married men are of two kinds—good and
had. The had are truly horrible; the good,
and leaves his wife to earn a living by fine
; nef>( j] e >vor | c> ßut p,,, g 00C ] married man
], e not m;u p r ' i„ ] 0TC nnT in ore.
hut he believes that there never was such a
woman as his wife. He does not see Time's
changes in her face; she is always young
to him. Every baby binds them closer to
each other.
|
;
j
1
j
Therc is an expression in a good married
man's face that a bachelor's cannot have,
It is indescribable. lie is a little nearer
the angels than the prettiest young fellow
living. 5 mt can see tiiat his broad breast
is a pillow for somebody s head, and that.
little lingers pull his whiskers. VI ben
some one has said. Husband, and some,
other, Papa, a seal is set upon the fore
head. No one—no woman at least—ever
mistakes the good married man for as in-j
slant. It is only the erratic one who leaves
you in doubt. The good one can protect
!
1
i
j
I
\
j
;
all the unprotected • females ; lift pretty
girls over gutters, talk to them in ears,
and make himself gene^div agreeable, anti
yet never leave a doubt on any mind that
there is a precious little woman at home
worth all the world to him.
Some women like the bad married man.
and delight in making his wife jealous. I
hate him. The good married man on
whom I could not make "an impression "
if I died fur it. is the one
the married man wiio
with any other woman, as much as I do
ui mi ii-.'nm
for me ^ llhsiike
could fall in love
:
the fiachelor who couldn't .—Mary Kyle
Dallas, in New York Ledger. I
--------- »«♦« ■* -- j
How » FiUKwteiji'iiau W in i'eip tVfw
* or-era fcvnJe II,o Snnday A.w. j
XeiTlonsin. ^ ^ ^
A large excui*ion barge lying in the Erie :
Basin is being rebuilt in a manner that ex- 1
cites boatmen's cariosity. The decks are !
>h,g cut away and whât is left of the up
l*r one is already shaped like the gallery I
of a theatre. À sloping floor runs from i
'
the level ot the lower deçà into the hold
, „ ... i
and the frame work of a stage is in place. !
1
This vessel is to be a floating theatre, capa
ble of seating 8X) jiersons in its parquet
anil gallery, and, with a completely fur
nished stage. It is to be called tiie New
York Excursion Theatre. Edward Waugh,
of Philadelphia, is to manage it. The plan
is to give a variety show of the common
sort during the hot montiis, when tiie city
theatres are uncomfortable. The eh! re
dance <>* the floating theatre for profi. wilt
he a sale evasion ot the Sunday aw.
Performances are to be given every eve
ning, but it is calculated that on Sundays
when the law forbids the opening of shows '
In tiie city, an especially remunerative busi
ness M'iil tie done. The barge will take in
its Sunday audiences from tome conveni
ent wharf, and be towed beyond the city
limits before the peribrmnmos are begun,
so that the law would not he infringed
within the jurisdiction of the city authori
ties. As no landings would be made dur
ing tiie trips, it is not regarded as likely
that tiie officials along shore would take
any action, and the route could Ik? changed
at will. A bar and eating room is to be a
feature.
JIohom* little.
Wastiinjt >n better to rhilaifelphia Times.
Senator Jones, of Nevada, having re
plenished his depleted exchequer by a for
tunate rise in Sierra Nevada stock, comes
back with bis beautiful young wife and
maiden sister to occupy his half of the |
Butler block on Capitol hill. He left here
five montiis ago for his home at Gold Hill
•'dead broke," in vulgar parlance, or "bust
ed." as the miners term it. Foreseeing the
lise in mining stocks, he invested all tie
could raise or borrow in Sierra Nevada,
and reaped a rich return. Sflil he had not
enough to till the measure of his oppor
tunity. His w ife had a splendid diamond
necklace, for which he paid in opulent
lays the sum ot $35,000, and which ghe,
ix»in,r a retiring 'little body, not given to
display, hud never worn but once.
"My dear," said lie to her one day, "it
you will let me invest your diamonds in
Sierra Nevada you shall have the proceeds
for pin money."
"As you please," said the dutiful little
M'otnan. "You know I never wear them."
Senator Jones is not the man to go
hawking hi« wife's jewels about the streets,
so be offered them to the first Jew he met,
uud realized §12,000 for them, wiiieh he
invested on margin in her name, and to
day «tee is worth $110,000 in registered
bonds. He paid his debts, canceled the
mortgage on his $100.000 worth of forni- j
ture, which Butler liehi a* collateral for i
three years' rent, and in less than half a !
year returns with several millions to spare. !
And that is the May they do things "out |
w est." The Jone* family w ill give severed
grand
, ... . !
rand entertainments during the winter j
° a ' __ctn.tcui., ^ ^_ j
A Wisconsin girl put on trousers and,
started through the deep snow to walk six ;
miles to a village for provisions, the family
She soon became j
t,r <*d out. N-sides losing her M ay, and the j
Dreier being empty,
w hi *' as intense. A big XcMfoundland ^
which accompanied tpr Mas the means j
of saving her life. She scooped out a hoi- j
low in the snow, lay down in it. and made !
t* 1 « w:inn flo £ Mb on her, shifting him
about so as to successively cover the cold
est parts of the body. In that way she pass- ^
«I a whole night, and was not severely ' I
frostbitten. "With two or three more
dogs," she says, "I would have got along*
very comfortably." ]
|
|
j
i
Wit and Humor.
!
!
Ye who have girls to sleigh, prepare to
sleigh them now.
A good motto for a voung man Jnst
starting a moustacl.e-Down in front.
A model buy-word—Cash.
A Teutonic figure of speech—9.
A poor relation—A story badly told.
A highly colored tale—The peacock's.
.
Cincinnati boatmen say the Ice In
river is perfectly "gorge us. '
I ho beauty of a mans parting his hair
I in the middle is that It givts both enrs an
equal chance to flap.
i y '™ y a nian nho P ra J' 9 not to ** ^ in -
to tem P tation w onld tie awfully disap
j pointed if his prayer was granted.
I Precisely—in fact, absurdly so. Why
j
1 does a photographer in the exercise of his
; business always use a black cloth? Why,
! of course, to make his camera »bscurer.
j Partridges are among the tilings that
j whirr. Yes; and ventilators are among
! the tilings that air. Yes; and hornets are
j among the tilings that bee. And Butler
: says the Gubernatorial chair of Massachu
setts is among the tilings that might have
i Ben.
j He could stand it. lie said, to have Ills
■ wife paint everything, from a tin cup to an
old straw liât, and stick it all over with
I Cupids and heathen Chinese. But when
she swooped down upon their last minee
pie and embellished that, he thought it was
; time to "kick." And he did.
The n who , rivaled
j teinptnolU} expression. -It is not worth a
j b , mon - lia ,j no correct idea of the import
L f t}mt remark> j| e never knew what it
the eon
w as to depend upon a single button for the
support of his pantaloons, and have tiiat
button give out when he was waltzing.—
Burlington Hawkey*.
Fitz Hugh Ludlow, in his narrative of,
travels in "The Heart of the Continent,"
tells of an eccentric genius who improved
rtn y :im miff'd that "the I
' veather have beim colder if the
thermnm * ter ,u *l ,>een longer." by saying
: be had been where "it was so cold that the
thermometer got down off ttie nail."
I Facetious old party.—"How long do
j you say that wine has been bottled, wait
( ,.v> Waiter.—"Fourteen years, sir." Fa
j æ{Jo|lg p ;lrty ._.. Lor ', j (li . hl < t know
flies would live as long as that." Waiter, j
girl" Facetious old party.—
: ..y 0 g. j mean that onc kicking about in
1 , he bottle."-/,oWo* I'un.
! T , .... ,
™Ihng her Hass m poetry, the teacher
I fl ' ,0tH , ™ n th * * mi }p r 'T* „ of ren, |>'
i b °!.' ' '* 0l « must .vake and cull ime early. ;
' rail me early, mother dear." "Now.' she
;
j
, . , . ... ... „ ,
i asked, "why did the girl want to be called
! ,
early ?
I.eaeh,
"Don't know." replied Tommy j
unless it was because tiiat was her
' * !
A man can always tell exactly how tall
he is by walking through a lois door in
tiie dark. Next morning he earn measure
tiie height of the door, and then measure
from where it struck to the top ot his
. .. .. . .. i
head, add the two together, subtract the
. T . . . , , , ..
swearing, and multiply by what o'clock it ;
was when lie got home, and the result will j
be his nett height. !
I
The New \ ork Tribune of January 25th, j
' publishes & complete refutation ol tbe story :
biographer professed to believe. The
Tribune derive# it* knowledge from rec
ords which certiiy to tiie marriage of the
parents of the martyred President,
of Lincoln s illegitimacy, which has lieen |
in circulation for years, and a inch even his |
F vita Am» n )»' Young Man.
|
Of all the evils prevalent among young
•:nen, we know ot none more blighting in
its moral effects than to speak lightly of
the virtues of a woman. Nor is there any
thing in which young men are so thor
oughly mistaken as tiie low estimate they
form as to lh»> integrity of woman. Not
of their own motliers and sisters, but of
ot Iters who, tf»ey forget, are somebody
else's mothers and sisters. As a rule, no
person who surrenders to this debasing
habit is to he trusted with any enterprise
requiring integrity of character. Plain
M'ords should Ik* spoken on this subject,
tor tiie evil is a general one and hep root
ed. It young men are sometimes oiroM n
into tiie society ol thoughtless and de- !
p raved wimmch. they have no more rigid to
measure all other women by »'bat they see
of ttiese, than they have to estimate the
character of honest and respectable citi
zens by the developments of crime in our
police courts. Let our young men remem
ber that their chief happiness in life de
pends upon utter faith in woman. No
worldly wisdom, no misanthropic philoso
phy, no generalization, can cover or weak
en truth. It stands like the record of it
self— for it is nothing leas tlian this—and
should put an everlasting seal upon lips
that are wont to speak slightingly of m o
men.
A Very Natural Ills take.
Rockland Courier.
A young man from one of the back :
tOMns eauie in to buy a present for his girl i
last Meek. IIis wondering gaze N ing fix-1
ed by the gorgeous display in a dry good-1
window, he entered the store, and bashful- 1
1)' stopped itr front ot a pretty young lady :
behind ttie ?ounter. j
"How much are those?*' he inquired,
pointing at a pair of liarrdsourelv wrought
nickle . J)lated in the *
••Seventy-five cents," replied ttie young
lady, sweetly, hamling out ttie articl«* in !
question,.and blushing slightly. i
"I think ttu?y are kinder prefty don't j
you?'''inquired th« young man, anxious for {to
somebody else'» opinion. j
'Very," replied the young miss; "they j
are the latest style.'
"Everybody wears them, don't they?" ;
continued the young man. |
"Almost everybody," said the young j
lady, affecting an unconcerned air.
"I was going to get ttiem for a girl that
I know," said llie young man' somewhat
nervously. "Do you think she would like,
them.*" k
"I should think she might—I don't |
j know" returned the young ltdy, blushing
, again.
J "Well, I don't hardly know, myself,'"
said the yoi ng man, picking up one of the
dainty articles, and examining itelosely.
j"\'ou don't suppose they are too large,
: now. do you?"
! "Why I I stammered the young
; l*dy. the blush growing deeper.
j 9< * m sorter big like," continu«*
' thp 7 oun * mah ' not obsen,m * "** conftu -
ion. "but of course I wouldn't be certain
thej^., iriiiIlin . 1)l|t m>r very at , , nd
I In( ,|^, e these would be a little too loose
i [ should think stie was just about your
[fitness. an' if these would tit you, of
! course they'd fit her. Now, just suppose
you try th-rn on, an' it-"
• "Sir!" exclaimed the ymmg lady behind:
j the counter, in an awful voice, that lilted;
the young man's baton the end of his hair,
"you are insulting;" and she swept away
! to the rear ot the store, leaving the bewil
i dcred young man standing in dumb amaze
,llell L holding in his hands wliat he sup
P ose 'I w:ls u beautiful pair of bracelets,
*^ ni * ' v * ,en onc ot the liu ' n clerks came and
! explained his mistake, the young man
from the back town struck a direct lino
for his team, and in a very brief space of
time was tearing toward home at a rate
that threatened to irretrievably ruin tlto
old family horse. He won't buy any brace
lets now until lie's married.
Maids Better-Half.
torchon lace
Blessed is the woman who never says to
; * ,er husband, "I told you so."
When a young lady wants to appear In
i blaze of glory she indulges ia a littla
Mrs. Partington declares that she does
not wish to vote, as she tears she could
not stand the electoral franchise.
| Many a timid, shrinking maiden, who
last summer swung upon the gate with her
lover, is now engaged in half-soling the
same individual's pants,
Miss Alice Never married John Late, in
North Sat^Juan, the other day. Miss Alice
probably subscribes to the truth of ttie old
ada^e, "Better late titan never."
A policeman at Racine, Wis., arrested a
woman for walking the streets in male at-
tire, and at the station house she proved
to be his own wife. She had been watch
paper.
A young lady said to her lover, "Char
]ey< |, ow f ar is it around tiie worla?"
tg him.
The Dubuque Telegraph has a female
city editor who stays up till 2 o'clock in
the morning, smokes a brier-root pip-' and
writes faster than any two men on the
"About twenty-four inches, my darling,"
replied he, as tiis artu encircled her waiit.
she was al , t!ie worl( | to h , m>
. , , , , 0 .
A young lady by tne name of Spoak»
was married in Kansas City, the other day.
tired of felloe and wanted a hub.
— Puck. It she's like some women, she'd
hold on to both and cause a revolution In
the family.
If site won't she won't, and there's tha
. . . , ,.
end on t. A lady in court, being asked her
.. .... , ... .. T
age, replied that she dtdn t know; she
could not remember the exact hour wlion
. . , .. , ,
she was born and could only depend an
heresav. Hcresay is not evidence, and tha
matter Mas ruled out.
A plain-spoken woman recently vi»ited a
miirr i e) ] woman, and said to her, "How d<y
you manage to amuse yourselt?"—
"Aniuae!" said the other; "don't yon
know that 1 have my house-work to do?"
"Yes," was the ansM'er, "I see that yeu
have it to do, but as it is never done, I con
clude you must have some other way of
passing your time."
Good Suggestion« for Ulrle.
The time has passed when a woman
must he pale, delicate, to be interesting—
when site must be totally ignorant of all
practical knowledge to be called high-bred
—when she must knoM- nothing ol the cur
rent {Hjlitieal news of the day, or be called
masculine and strong-minded. It is not»
sign ot high birth or refinement to b®
sickly and ignorant. Those Mho afleeS
anything of ttie kind are behind the times,
and must shake and air themselves, men
tally, physically, or drop under ttie firm
strides ot eommonsen.se ideas, and bo
crushed into utter insignificance. In theao
days an active, rosy-faced girl, witli brain
quiek and clear, warm, light heart, a tem
per quickly heated at intended insult or in
jury. and just as quick to forgive; whole
feet can run as fast as her tongue, and not
put her out of breath; who is not atraid of
freckles, or to breathe the pure air of
heaven, unrestrained by the draMn curtaina
of a close carriage, and. above all. M ho can
speak her mind and give lier opinion on
important topics u'hich interest intelligent
people—is tiie true girl M ho will make a
good Moman. Even fops and dandies.
M'lio strongly oppose »•Oman's rights, like
a woman M'ho can talk M el!, even if she'»
not handsome.— St. Ijouis Republican.
The Ueucou'a Mlatwhe.
A good deacon In Davenport, Iowa, saw'
a drunken man M'honi tie knew driving
aimlessly about ttie steets one dark night,
Ttie deacon kindly got into his sleigh and
took the reins, intending to take thedmok
anl to his hone?, which was two mile«
away; Nit disliking the idea of walking
hack, he stopped at a tavern to find turne
hody who could luora conveniently do th««
job . while he was in the tavern, the
drunkard drove off by himself, and»
young fellow arrived with bis girl in »
sleigh. The young fellow entered the tav
ern, leaving his girl, mu filed in a blanket
wait wiiile lie got a drink. The deacon
found a volunteer to take hi» place aa guid»
to the drunkard; hut the volunteer, on go
to the steigli that stood in front of the
tavern, discovered that the octal pant waa
JJjf 2{Tm,7\t£re. " "No 1 'toinr^rel
',[£ deacon, who thought she' wsa
the drunkard. He put one arm around
her. and roughly pulled aivav the blanket,
she screamed for help. Her lover ran ou»
® WoT nto
\v a '* he d the *bloo<l from his ftSq
the girl kissed him, and all was forgtvkn.