Newspaper Page Text
VOL. 1a, NO. 28. DEER LODGE, MO.ANA, JANUARY 11,1884. WHOLE NO. 757.
RAT= OF ADVYAWG
Time . ............... ,I 1
7Una __ 1i a
". ' ,............._... l1 iIý ill l
. .............. .. 1 l 6 0
..................h t 23. .l 7A1001 tM
YeI r .................... 16. 10 7 t 10 2I ) .
f r.rat Navertlirl payable quIrterly, as du
": n .,lu"nt alv.rttlml , i ayaYble In ad4 lw,-.
-it,,al N.mX,.,t" :n as ) iper asnt. horo It.d rag.
.... I ahvertting, 1 cents r t br if r .ist I
. ".nt It*r line for each unoseIbj ong lsutlo
Ine+ tv ,nd.l in Noapariel Imeas,
'l, Work payable on dellvery.
O. B. O'BANNON,
Lail Alnt al lttnery
1)oar L...e, . - Montana.
G. A. KELLOGG,
County Sarveyor, 0lvil ngineer and
U. S. Depaty Xinral Surveyor,
I)er Lo44e., * ontana.
Office with O. 3. O-Banuo . Orders fer Ir.
Seys of MimeraldId Algricultural Leds will re.
seive prompt tteeties. Orders ea be left with
Mr. OBaasaon Is my abseOse. ig.
wtaatt ewuae. TJms . bams.
KNOWLES & FORBIS.
Wet Granite Street.
tIutto, - - on trun
"WTll practic into all the Courte of the Territory.
A. S. HIGGINS.
-Office old North-West buildingl, Frst street
Deer Lodge - - - - - Montana.
Will practice in all the Courts of the Territory.
E. B. Waterbury,
ouatT rsl lC I comtwTacu,
ANACONDA, M. T.
Jas. H. Batterton,
(CIVIL ENGINEER and SURVEYOR. ,
DEER LOOSE, MONTANA.
Jas. II. Batgrarox.
rPHYsIoIANs AID BUeONW.
JOHN H. OWINGS, X. D., a
Physioan and Surgeon,
OMce-Klelasebmidt Building, formerly oc
copied by M. M. Hopkins.
U..Tr Lodge, - tetonlanos.
(ll4 in tows or cosntry will receive prompt at
A. II M.memu, essan Laun.
KITCEX.L &, LAUPRIN,
PIyidoloams ased Unonrrf5. sas
tdes peeite Seett House.
Deer Log, .- - o lrania
DR.. OC. 0. GLA.SS,
-ITSICIAI, 1uE8ln , aId AECOBUCI.
Obe a peii, with the
.Daer L.dge DrU Oeo.,
D3l3 LOBOSU MOUIaA.
o. tEI8Ea, Mý. D..
Physician 9 Surgeon,
ANACONDA. M. T.
--Ofice oe Oak Mreat-- 748.
BANKS AND BANKURS.
Firnt Rational Bank!
hELENA. - MONTANA.
Plid up C,71t1 *,* .USO "00.000
Surplus nd Profits $ 3,476
TOTAL CAPITAL AID BUUPLIIX $U25S
B.T. KAUSUR, - Pesident.
U. V. £ILG T, Osh- Cubit.
T. K. LUISWOKKZDZT - As'S Cash.
eUSI.NTAU DUVOUTinTW orT
W.trasaa5 . 8amtalt Ua a.,ad k
g Ibe .GD gh·al sawS. (i'* D.
.,s, cad Lcac .eint . sad slckuge std Te e
r c.ala lraaalmr.. availablel mll pan. glib. Uutied
w.", Ike Cadam. Drat Dhltain, hlatd eaz the
Oeutlaeet. 0t1avrnum mAe sit proawdrnreMilU
S. T. UALMSIR. J0MN CUXTIN
A. M. UOLT&a R1 U tA ltON.
1'. W. [ OMT. A. J. DAVIS.
I<. C.POWSR L MPARCHIN
8. . C. P0W3 I I* K AIDT. I
a. W. DONNILL, W. A. C(t.ARN
5. LR LARA3IIC
flonul, Clarng & Iplio,
DEER LODCE, M. T.
Dee Sea.'. Baules Esals" tad Drew
All to. Prinolpal Oltteoftho Weald.
KL.W YORK CORR5SPOND3TI.
Donnell, Lawson & Simpson,
nlo. 209 n.,badwav.
N.. 103.· I- ndWB
CHAILED MOOLEAD, - - PtyLs
Board and Lodging, p? day $sLU
Single meals - 50 Ocat.
DIUB LODG, IOIYAIA,
Sam. Soott, Propretfr.
J'a Pi MDIe.. raS Thit~
ýM I g'eD·I· !rufftrI
lGOOU 1 A owlst
Y10'I s R+iA L "ýc
Ort~ttk~le ' a : Sh.
low s. ý
Strmang & Mills. Propriotors.
-L.sccvsors to Tratat A Strnag
·~snprc s the above commod.sae HBed
rtr of Deer Lodgers and the traveling publc,
we will be pleased to see our tried as frequently as
they may duld Itcovenlest. . U
DAVIS 8( BENNETT,
BUTTE - - " MONTANA.
PRIICS--Gold Slilver..............1 1I
erample seat by asl pomptly atteadd to
D. J.. SCIIR EI IER,
-Shop with A. Anderson
Deer liodge - - - Montana.
PROMPTLY AND WELL DONE.
Clthu Cland us epin& him YodesntL
Pl"s Give e a Call.
174 D. J. Schreoor.
DEER LOD E
AUw I ZEal hiopeiston,
Or Iol e, I t, opposite Pstolce.
PrH BRUAD VISRY DAY IN THE WEEK
T'¶ etouureat eoasected with this estabb.hment
is prOided over a dt-clam French cook ad per
ties re assare4 e ezcellent satastaction at the table.
The Bar is stocked with the be.t Irars,, Wlass sad
Olgars. Please give us a call.
741.3m BARBEAU & MRENARD:
M. - BIITT,
Upholstery and Furniture,
(Opposite Scott House]
Deer Lodge, - Montana
Parlor Sets anl Bel-room Sets
An assortmeat o
Wood and Cane Seat Chairs,
ad aIll hinds of
ISPRI N(1 MATTRE sNeIB
A No. 1 Feathers ia Balk.
Witabagry y attended
Chcao, iUwall e & St Pan
is now rconing itD FAST JlPRES8 TRAINS
OMAHA and ST. PAUL
Pallman's Xagnitoent Sleepers
Finest Dining Cars in the world.
IF YOU are GOING EAST
Or to my polnt beyod.
TAKE THE BET ROUTE, THE
caip, llwu[o &ast Phi
.L MERRIL., Gal' Mahesr.
J. . CLARK. 4eel Saa .at~ ka&
P I: OA3U'ERYEr, AsI a urAIUL
tmhMe te meta pU0ve e
= d - dersem eat emt-
ee. j idtodin I
e media..s o. e
D MvcTAha Walk . T.
Have you got the jllies made, mother,
d- Are the sandwitches oufat.
c, Are the salads wrought and the wine all
For the splurge on New Year's day ?
You look sereae as a regnant queen,
But there'll be some hitch, I fear,
For I'm to receive this year, mother
I'm to receive this year.
My dress is such a daisy, mother,
What wonder if I am vain;
'Tis a white pokay, decollett,
With a princesse skirt, en train;
That's why I yeats and impatient baur
lPw the splrge artbs, .,rat-- .r
Fot I'm to receive this year, mother
I'm to receive this year.
Jack says he will come at ten, mother,
And tarry the rest of the day
Why turn up your nose-you don't suppose
He'd dare to stay away!
Though Jack is proud and hates a crowd,
I'm certain he will be here,
For I'm to receive this year, mother
I'm to receive this year.
So call me at half-past eight, mother,
Don't let me sleep till nine
I've crimped my hair, and over the chair
I've thrown my dresses fine;
At half-past eight--zow don't be late
Come early, 0 mother dear,
For I'm to receive this year, mother
I'm to receive this year.
A LAKEBIDE MUSING.
Oh ! the snow, "The Beautiful Snow,"
Filling the papers where'er we go;
Over the latest news, over the "ads,"
Over the cut of the last liver pads;
Knocked into "pi,"
"Beautiful snow" evermore meets the eye.
Flying to kiss the waste-basket's cheek,
Lunched on by goats in a frolicsome freak,
"Beautiful Snow," coming in by each mail,
Makes every editor quake and turn pale.
Oh! the snow, "The Beautiful now !"
How all the people who wrote it blow;
Claiming each verse as their own priceless
Nemesis waits for the last one of them.
Always on hand,
As proud as a colt in the rear of a band;
And even the dogs, with a bark and a bound,
Sniff the air in disdain when a poet's around.
The town is alive, and a mighty poor show
Would be given the author of "Beautiful
How the wild crowd goes swaying along,
Each with a copy, well-kept, of the song;
How the smart critics monut four flghts of I
Tackling the editor in squads and in pairs,
Up-stairs they go,
To tell what they know about "Beautiful
"Constant subscriber" is there from Racine,
"Reader," "Scrutator," and "Vindex," I
Then to them all speaks the editor bold:
"Don't get rattled; it's you, and not me, '
that's been sold."
"Once I was pure as the snow-but I dropped;
Dropped like the snowflake-until I was
Dropped, till the sidewalk and I coalesced;
Dropped, as the red sun was sinking to rest.
Dreading to rise,
With anguish at heart and with tears in my
Mourning the fate that had landed me there,
Chilled by the blasts of the keen winter air, f
Merciful God! what a terrible blow
To slip and fall down on the beautiful snow.
How strange it should bh that this beauitiful
'Stead of making men better should make '
them all worse!
Mowstreage it would be it, in Christmas
We should find thle real author of 'Ieautifal d
Would we give him a orust, or a well.pol- d
Not much! We would nstantly kill him, and
Wrap him up in the work of lis mlaisguideal
Let us get out our shot-guns and cheerfully go .
On a hunt for the man that wrote 'Beautiful f
Mavebal N., Said tI . aY. ' Uroetr
or agr.. G.,Baoa Gr~ ral b~
Tb. Cleveland 1 tory to
the effect that Marshal Noy nos only an
American, but that be was r of M».
Gioide gradnabr. AI4'tiaD) bdws
of'tbhe Rvulutlonary war she.ýwdl ph r
ily, sompaosed of unsewal bops, lived In the
Sbeamisab .alley, 'Vlgiata. Oat of the
brthba. w s he paalwpindliber of X.
Garblet. Another, Nichel, Mof a young
wife, sad aalhed in She Colonil amy,;
doing Voseolarvce. News eachad him is
wite, aai Ntbte in tM Clonial Islay
camp that his wife bed proved unaa hht .
lang almost to badaess,. he -left the army
ad conanty. His ends amar heard b.4
bim again. In 1731, ahetly al~er the cles
ef the Revolution, ebel noy was asb.
Llet ;1In" a Wreath remnsat of amaps.
. With We cs enbmy "h. saw a ee y Is
Yi llbr. ,e atseq am" e aw Wy%
"do" ilaem tosg Suisham, aMa iaid
sa iecsa acre ,I DagIt 1, is shie
that aa Ig l Owdbg r wo - a- it AM
ehaIspahy, Iin, which be wift tbrb
aw as a Fre..hmi, "we iaq psid, 6
Saw rm. INS -aa W M al3.
r ,r b c t r o a alp
II.'. l bm ems dait, lit
aaa -i~sh tilý
- NEW NOR'-WKSTERS.' :
Yankee farmers save chickn and
fat for boot grease.
Elgral. on to Tes is said to be 10 sr
cent. greter this year thea last.
P. T. Biernu says In recent letter that
be has but one disease-ld age.
The vasnaion of property In New
dey is am reat a tat of Lonadon.
A train of 140 teams nreetly arri4 ain
Palouse valley, W. T., from Texas. -
All of the leading farm and gardenaseds
are admitted to this country free of duty.
London Bible societies have gliven
4,9b0,000 copies of the scriptures this l
New Yorl bas had but oneS ,e4r,
W. Tay m,.-4we servwd he iTyeýa xtyya
G. F. Train will begin the publcatlinof
a paper called Train Oil, to be devoted to
Senator Sanisbury, of Delaware, is the
only member of the Senate who hea never
There are mountains of solid non ore In
northern Sweden, lees than a handed miles
from the Atlantic Ocean.
Assistant Secretary of State BHnter has
been in the Government service In Wash
Ington for afty three years.
Kitchen gossips say that $0,000 worth of
unused "stuff" wu taken from Vanderbilt's
house the day after his ball.
A Presbyterian minister of Oshkosh walks
an average of twelve miles a day. He per.
haps collects his own salary.
People in Cleveland take dog oil to care
consumption. Veterinary surgeons also use
It In compounding liniments.
The story that a case of small-pox had Mr#
peered in the back section of Gen. bhermaae
house in St. Louis is a cruel hoax.
One hundred vessels, $8,000,000 worth of
property and two hundred lives were lost in
our lake nav!gation the past season.
First-class passenger rates on American
rallhoads are less than they are for similar
traveling accommodations in Easope.
The Pons comet, which, when visible In
1812, had but one tail, now has two. It can
be seen with the naked eye early In the
Eighty of the 325 members of our present
National House of Itepresentatilgs are not
lawyers. There has been a gre oversight
Tihe ordinary Japanese bed eoesists of a
quilt spread on the door, a blanket with
sleeves for a coverlet, and a bleak of wood
for a pillow.
The century plant, which takes 100 years
to ripen In the North, takes but 12 years to
mature in California, and takes only rve
years in Mexico.
Nellie, the oldest horse in Connectienut,
has Just died at the age of thirty-nine. On
the day of her death bhe helped her son pull
a load seven miles.
A bill has been introduced be the House
to reduce the priee of Goveraget lands
Witdl the. dis of asiioed greats ha
$2.50 to $1.25 per acre.
Chief Mampoer was led naked to the scaf I
folJ at Pretoria. The first rope broke. A
second attempt to kill the condemned South I
African was successful.
There are 27,000 blind persons in France,
who live In pauperism and mendacity, in I
conseqaence of the scarcity of charitable in
stitutions for the blind.
The largest cow iu America, it Is believed, t
belongs to John Pratt of Chase county, Kan
sas. It is three years old, 22 hands high,
and weighs 3,200 pounds.
An excellent authority on spiders informs
the clentiflc American that in one species '
the female is 1,300 times bigger than the s
male. This peculiarity is not cocfined to f
spiders. . Q
The Ashland Tuimea thinks the editor of d
the Bucyrus Forum is putting on airs since
being elected State Senator, as he has begun
suit against a man owing seven years' sub.
Kentucky papers say that Speaker Carlisle '
forbids the use of his name as a candidate
for the United States Senate before the canu. I
cas of the Democratic members of the State ,
The Rev. John Jasper, I). D., LL. I)., who
upholds the theory that "De sun do move,"
writes to a friend in New York that his eon.
gregation has dwindled from nearly 2,000 to
England is sending to Egypt all the sol.
diers who can be put into the regiments now
there. In this way it may be "diplomatic.
ally" ssaid that she is not inuefeaslog her force
on the Nile.
The new cle velocipede consists of an or
dinary blcycle, with spikes on the large
wheel to catch the ice, and an outside frame
with four steel runners like those of the
A breautpio containing an Edison glow
light, fed by a small waistcoat pocket bat-t
tory, as sold for $0 at Nurenabrg, Germany.
But is the hotel clerk to give up his diamond
for every new toy ?
The New York Morning Journal notices
a new paper sbirt bosom, which consists of
si laye, the top one to be torn of when
soiled. With good care one of these pads
will last for sin weeks.
When asked the question what American
writer be considered the ablest, W. D. pow
ells replied that Sarah 0. Jewett was thi'
most satisfactory literary worker of whom
he had say knowledge.
Cotrary to all pmedent the Vi'gi
Hooe of Delegaes h nappishly
to temp, as political disabilities of
fime Vl'gqlmla wke had feught delB sras
the wh.ewashing of the previous batch.
Mr. Bensest, he owner of the New York
Hewrad, is said by perso who have se
him in Paris lstly, to have becme "pema-.
tarely.d. e hair is tarnnig gray, and he
isesoew rand pesase in movement as so
Yes bre' an atsed while visiting a
managle hew lndlerently the lion games
over whed u at te paw beyond. Wa I,
hat is l le t o scrnee p nsthe Btish
Bth wen wm armed ab re eoeetry to
grent O'Dimtell a mprsep .
The le tllnd of .Gen. W. W. BUsiup
are h t he seleM reprless.e le.
tr&ir s . Me smtha he ba ws
--? - heinqs
ho eseeser 3 r, haS in )o and
a-r rr IAYIYllC
B w e ir- WI rlid E -YI
'ru~~~Jdru ~ % ILIYYt k·lr
THE S 'n NEW YEAR.
Unhappy Thlem at eSm m smuIasge Oreen
PoriTead Northles.t News.
Gambling, of all other vices, is perhaps
the most absorbing. The sowing of so
called "wild oats" of the young man of thL
period, if I doe not embrace a touch of the
de-os of game, Is remediable to a great xa
taL, but when the faselnatlos In Lb
"Ugmen" becomes sraon, there snems to be
no help or the dmaappy victim. Thi tis of
bome Are bst as straws, the counsels of Lb.
indulgent father are but idle words, the tears
of the wife or mother have but an Irrttatir
.eect, and, the votary at Dame Fortuae's
bright and happy e.s.ateaanes asemmes
more and more brutal apeet, and the "bird
of prey" stands revealed in all its native
hideousnes. Yesterday morning as the re
porter, unlucky enough to have the late
watch on his detail to attend to, was wend.
lag his weary way along First street, about
180 o'clock, his attention was attracted to
tLo thin, shadowy figures standing in a door
way near the Cosmopolitan gambling saloon,
corner of First and Alder streets. The rat
tloof chips in the den within polluted the
freshness of the bracing night air, and sug
gesed the appropriateness of applying the
" RATTLMMN Axs"
to the fraternity. Their sting is surely
effective enough to justlfy the ter'p.
"Hello, Jim," said one.
"Hello, Billy," was the answer.
"Any luck to-night?"
"Busted. Got any money ?"
",,ot a red. .,.;, ' bought you'd left off
"So did I, but you see I bad got inlbe*box
so deep that I thought I'd try once more. I
coppered the queen for a fiver and let it stay
three times. By golly, she won. I cashed
her :n, and started for the door with $40.
First I thought I'd take my overcoat and
sealkdin cap out of my uncle's hands, being
as tie cold spell has come to stay awhile.
But I had to go back. I had a kind of seb
ing il the bones as I got to the door, and it
seemed as if I was gstln' away from a good
thing. You know how it is yourself," with
"Oh, of course, you had to go back and
tackle the tiger agin, and got clawed," said
the other. "BHaln't I told you time and agin.
You'll get into the poor-house yet, if you
keep on the way you are going."
"Some of 'em says, 'Follow up your
luck,' " was the plaintive rejoinder.
"Yoea needn't think a man loves you, be
cause be calls you back when you're win
nillg," slaid Bally, who seemed to be some
what of a stirist.
A RBIUMATIC TWIEO.
. o oatr cal et me back," was the irri
tated response. "I felt It in my bones, but
it must have been the rheumatism. I was
playing to win grab, too."
"Phew, but its cold. Let's get a drink.
But we can't. Money's gone. Just listen
to that wind."
"Git out, and go to bed."
"You needn't be so fresh. You ain't
nothing but a tinborn gambler, nohow.
You never blowed in your wife's duds, like
"That's true. But you ain't a circoum
stance to the feller from Vancouver I met
some time ago. He enlisted In the army for
five years, in the regular service, at a salary
of $15 a month. He served the time and
didn't draw a cent. Last fall be cum to
town with nearly $800 in his pocket. Hadn't
been here twelve hours before he dropped
$700 up to Frenchy's. That same night he
went right in here to Paul Fuhr's and staked
all hbe had-nearly $100-on one turn, and
lost. He borrowed two bits for a bed, and
went and enlisted for five year more. That's
what I call sand."
The trio (including the reporter), sepi
rated, each ocoupied with his own thoughts.
Novel-Meadlag Made Odious.
A bitter wag made angry by the ever in
creasing output of novels, has devised a new
and bittr antidote for the appetite for ro
mance. He declare that be will write a
supplement to every modern love story, to be
sold at half price, setting ferb the matri
moulal adventures and experlenoe of the
hero and heroine. The sweet and pathetic
maiden with the mild blue eyes and the gol
den hair is to be developed Into the fat and
ruddy show with a tndency to quarrel with
her husead aad row her servants. The
gallaulpOlmean with the long moustaebp
and the lve voice is, on his part, to be
ruthlessly pctad marching up and down
is bed eerom in airy attire, with a squalling
baby In hs arme, redolent of sour milk and
estnp. The will of the rie old uncle,
whleh brings wealth and happiness at the
1e8 of them at volume, will be proved a
Lbrger Il the samed. What with the upset
ia d owet prretty eonvestioalky and the
diriesle of the inevitable condlmio into
Are ws Wll-bIed novelist ever fbllow his
esmoeltew , this nUle hopes to make novel
reatln seNm and novel writnllg un
pesltble as I is a dark Industry.
A Ueia *esweeomam.
EllsabethAm al~Ml l gerew , r s ofts.
tri, is m ps the keenest bemawoem In
uroepe . o.ay. s Is no small eosplmeast
to the aBSlmi of these Wilnds thaN she
Empr e se Austrisaid Quses of flehemes
and angier, dsmir3 to seek beasl an
-rese I the opse air, absl 1dmit the
road plals of the esoate ever wMhb her
-eba.m. helds, way to seek the delights
ano nlath busting eM.
It is abeut x years sies /esi maule
her apsmes h t he hunting sl Is s
su-sry. w. e at.s esMalteMed sUti
Ilwtesas, wb -M, e w et phhw my -
..ey h.eet t wmepae the t smus sles
las . .ie seli e - manise to eweqss i
uast bentw Mmmma r a her isyer. The
seimnay se ' g eo_ of arl > ,
- ,- I
WHY WE LAUGH.
C - --- --- - - - - - -- - - - -
"I'm down to bed-rock," said a henpecked
Pittsbuar husband, as he swayed the cradle
containing his howling son and heir.
"Isn't this tea too steep?" nquired the
customer. "Certainly it is, sir," wa the
reply, "it is to step."-N. Y. CommercfC
A coon club In New Hampshire, after hav
ing been organized ten years, has eaptured
its irst mcon. The mcon is supposed to have
A Baltimore woman by the name of Char
Ity struc her husband over the head with a
boot, and e near killing him. Charity
begins at hom.
Queen Victoria is very a d of es, sad
thedeeer a in _stusesiuf wtdn almra
lay pe the seeds on the kitchea stove,
to se I she will get married this year.
"Well, may hope, them, dearest, that at
mue time I may have the happsnes of mask.
ing you my wife'" Yea, I hope so, I am
sure," she replied; "I am getting tired of
suing fellows for breach of promise."
"Is this a singing doll " asked she of the
clerk. "Yes, mademoiselle." "How do you
make it slng?" "Just as you would any
other young lady." "How Is that?" "By
pressng It." 'Oh !"-N. Y. Commercial
A bust of Mary Anderson is being made
for the Princess of Wales. After she has
tried to pull the Prince away from It two or
three times she will probably send It up to
the back garret, with orders that It be turned
face to the wall.-PhiladelpAha Call.
"Oh, to think," said a religious English.
man to has gamekeeper, " that I should have
called you a d-d Internal fool! I'm very
sorry. To think that one Christian should
use such language to sanother! Heaven fr
give me! But It's Gd's truth all the
A gentleman was giving a little KeoLuk
baby boy some peanuts the other day. The
good mother said: "Now, what are you go.
ong to say to the gentleman " "With child
ish simplicity the little fellow looked up in
the gentleman's faee and replied, "More !"
A Lafayette lady-a model wife and mo
ther-broke her husband of the saloon
habit by walking up beside him and calling
for beer. A Cincinnati woman tried that, but
her husband only replied: "Now, you're
acting sensible; here John, give us two
Two little girls were saying their prayers
prior to being tucked in for the night. When
both had finished, the younger of the two
climbed on her mother's knee and said in a
confidential, but triumphant whisper : "Mo.
ther, Clara only asked for her 'daily breed.'
I asked for 'bread and milk.'"-Detro(t
The young man who, at the rink Saturday
evening, observed the writer and a lady sks
ting together, and made some remark about
"Beauty and the Beast," will hear of some
thing to his disadvantage if be will call at
this office. No punishment is too severe for
a brute who will call a lady a beast.-Ble
Ulysses 8. Graat, Jr., recently bought
"a piece of an apartment house" in New
Yosk forSwniOl . The aper iS -ans
rally as to how many millions a man must
be worth In New York before be can buy an
entire shebang of his own, with a nice yard,
hot and cold water and a stationary wash
stand.-.San Francisco News Letlcr.
"Yes," coincided Mr. Williams, as he bit
a pretzel, "I know a piano is a dreadful in
liction, and a violin is worse that 60 days In'
jail; but as a reliable agony producer, the
banjo takes the first premium. You can
shake some melody out of a piano without
being obliged to sing, but a banjo must have
an accompaniment. And when a spavined
banjo and a half-acre hanud and a mowing
machine vocal organ come .together, the re
sult is Woe, with a big W."
There is a certain Austin man who is
linked for life to a lady who enjoys the un
enviable reputation of sadly neglecting her
household duties. One evenng her conviv
ial lord returned from the lodge In a condi
tion several degrees above the dead level of
plain sobriety. "O you miserable wretch !"
she exelaimed, "I'm just burning up with
rage." "Yer are, are you?" replied the
man. "Well, Betty, thash all right. I'm
glad It ain't the beefsteak this time."
An exchange relates the following about
Mr. O'Hara, the colored Representative from
North Carolina: Not long ago in that State
Mr. O'Hara had introduced to him a couple
of lately-landed Hibernians, who also bore
the name of O'Hara. Having a vein of u
humor and good powers of mimicry, he in
dulged in some fuan at their expense.
"Pwat did Oi understand that yer names
--lmoight be, gentleme?" he asked : "O'Hars
i it? Not O'Hars av Kallmalnock?"P "The 1
ame," replied they in amasesment; "an' (
who the devil are you?" "Ol'm yer kas
man, beorra," aid he; "an' he the same
token the clolmat av thbls country has been I
bad for me enmplexion, as ye may notlee-" I
The two "sons of the sod" have not been
mseen in North Carolina slnace.
Resting a Deaf Man.
Will Kleh is a very clever drug clerk wke
compounds croem bone prearlptlou for a
leading drug bhoe on Washblatee stree
SHe is a very olal y.uag man, and som a
his many Meads odften all upon him at hi
place of bueines. Last week while eas.
etaniog three or four Y. M. C. A. boys, a
man entered with a prescripeaon wehich wa
promptly compounded, and with an air of
"see-my-modum-operandl," be threw th
package bebre the customer with:
"Twemtytve oerns, pleae."
The man, who was alaest deaf, threw oaw
ie cents and tasted oat.
"Twenty-lve cats, sir," mid W. K. In a
"There is your Aive atse," said the d. m.,
pointing to the nickel and walking toward
"I naid tkunty.ve eats," at the top -d
"I say ther is your e0 cents," amid deaf
Sbe passed through the doorway.
Our alhe d. c. allowed a bewilderled ex
peielons to heer over him handsome hatures
eru hat a moment, whe it wel dispelled by
a bland emile rakho emarked:
"U, well, Ie ble ; tbere'is thrre es
pieS en w q."
u her is sais t Jpn lakss way:
A@* weabime lM dt the rth i is aem up
bl as oIJ b ldleel had ileata hn laugs
lan p' pswim Stae wit water at
nmlrmtura oe-S , . Thns. rh
tseeeeahr ele . heg S ls er
1S~L e 4tteveet y e
A Notew .r. y s5"eogr p er.
J. J. McElbone, the chief of the odfical
stenographers of the House, has been in the
service of that body as an official reporter
since 1849. He was an expert stenographer
when a mere boy. When he was eighteen
yearn old he was reporting the oclal de-
bates. Dennis Murphy, the chief of the
Senate sta, began his offcial work for Con
gress six months earlier than McElbone.
Both are from Philadelphia. McElhone is a
very tall, straight, vigorous, young-looking
man. He has more the air of a dashing sol
dier than that of a civilian. His eye are
elear and resolUte, his a utr. whlUe
winsulbaffidib3miltlimiI~iir e 'acicent
nate his appearance of vigor and energy. He
is a very cultivated man, and few member
have such a thorough knowledge of public
afairs as McElbone. It is strange that none
of the younger stenographers of Washington
who are looking forward to ill the placs of
the official stenographers of Congress are not
doing something to qualify themselves for
the work. The average stenographer looks
enly to the mechanical part of his work,
without a thought of how necessary to his
fnal success is the possession of a thoroughly
broad and eomprehbesive education.
Mr. MeElbone explained to me the other
day his method of worinug. It will probably
be a revelation to the average reporter. He
pays no attention to the mechanical part of
his work. He wiltes the Pitman system in
Its simplest forms. When he is reporting a
speaker be follows his every sentence, critl
olrlng it and taking in fully its sense, while
his hand follows his thought like a bit of
exquisitely trained mechanism. The result
is that he has never yet met a speaker who
can talk too fast for him. When be meets a
man who can think faster than he can, thhn
only will MeElbone be at a loss. He said
that in the last House the three hardest men
to report were Thompson of Iowa, Black.
burn of Kentucky, and Ranney of Massa.
The hardest piece of reporting ever done
by McElbone was durnlog the exciting inci
dents of the counting in of Hayes by the
House of Representatives. When Boebe, of
New York, immortalized himself by jump.
log upon his desk, perfect Bedlam appeared
to have been let loose. To report what was
said with twenty or thirty members appar
ently talking at once, must have seemed
almost an impossibility. In less than a sec
oend McElhone saw that his reputation as
one of the greatest of living reporters was at
stake. He seized his note-book and dashed
right Into the center of the excitement. The
voice of every member was familiar to him.
Without turning his head be stood erect
amid the wildest confusieo, and caught with
rigid accuracy the wqr4 of the most distant
spe*r. 'Be was very nervous over the re
sult, because If any member at that time had
by chance been omitted from the page of
history of that day, McElhone would have
been the subject of many a row. None of
the members believed that he had been able
to get them all, yet when his report came
out in the Record next day, not one had a
single word of fault to find. In fact, it is the
only perfect picture of that exciting period.
It was one of the greatest feats of stenogra
phic reporting ever done in Congress. When
McElhone had finished he was bathed in
perspiration from head to foot, and was as
weak as if he had been running in a ten-mile
i - - ul.,'-- ,,1m ... .
Spain's Auction Mart.
The Rincon is the auction mart, whither
all the trash of the kingdom finds its way
for sale. Brie-a-brac, relice, curiosities and
antiquities are the fine names they give to
these dregs. Let us have a look at them.
The Rincon consists of a number of wooden
sheds and stalls in the street, and a number
of shops which surround the stalls. The
entire space is filled with old traps. Here
are a few that attract my attention: A
Moorish saddle, 815; a lot of Roman copper
coins, .2; a Spanish dollar of 1419, $12;
ditto of 1768, $8; braziers for warming the
I hands and feet, (still used in Madrid), from
$1 to $20; a French General's sword, cap
tared in the penlnsula war, the hilt st with
brilliants, $200; Moorish muskets, any price;
knlek-knacks for devotional purposes, all
Mingled with these ntiquities were a
heterogeneous lot of modern goods, chiefly
cheap cotlery from Sbeneld, cheep Iron, tin,
brass and pewter wares from Birmingham,
and cheap cotton goods from Barcelona. Be.
sides the stalls and shops, the ground was
covered with goods, while the air was filled
with the shouts and clamors of th salesmen
and women. "A travellag pistol for hibs ex
oallency" (Ibis meant my humble self; the
pistol was a double-barreled musale loader
of the year 1). "'Twill serve to keep off
the bandits of Catalonia." "Hear that
wench Morales. She is abusing my Catalo
ala, sad she, too, from thleving Toledol"
"Buy a ticket in the lottey, senor. The
wheel turns omonwrw, asnd.re your hand.
some fas will brl.gyoe luekL" I had beard
sImilar arguments in Cork. The smallest
oin will buy some ng onthe dreo, I is
alwarys thronged with pOespad to tou rl
one traveler snot a baid la n whichb to
study the history of Spy-*..-e pamst in e
euriosiUes olre4 for sal, the resen! the
appearane sad muasrs of the people who
ste them, and the future n the mise of the
Women Whe 15u bier Age..
PFel Nle Geseta
The eomonm otle eioe among woman
kind to lesing eir age be ksswsb ent
died hithe ladles o Japesl , , hsatre l
dls.ptl as sse s their go.n tl~ah .
aUngsmenIt ethmir lhr. bleis bem lse to
bIees weer Lther hir. itsllss wlt rod
eripqedesmslMss ll esesnthe heead,
the bashmied seing lea kewthased as
e* ads. le. snm tlh thoe hair is
dmiae sd Mh eg a bseedba, d put
up t ,s bek lih i shape t e L. of bet.
tesiy, Wi isetedsiu p efa sliver ard sed a
duseaonwrrltmhe ba, Deped Minh
T33M-I4absbas hvmlabl7 is £4,me.
0 " T Ow .............................. . . .... N p
1'4a.. k M m o ..................................... I '
Wen t * t aid in advasee tn rate wat be the
Dolleas per yesa.
MIws'hF33 nlio oNm.
_1. Ata.wse Nw lal ll tram te
b wbinbr he bse asemsids r asS-I saupsesWs
U... rip h4l.lWl ame l Irowe
un l. M5 dt "O pqeast b edds coelect the
wPo'm te, whenther Oppaper I takes b(os th.
. Thecsaselss at s tisre e to.a
Sthemewsppet ams hm i hmeten n5u.
ha seu imd mea beM eheaped to
m/ner dtdm i treMtMedh,.
m1Ntsbamt b owd s ( n I"
A WINERl ga53 ZAnn.
I'm awually boM v
For It's roy .
To be singing udder yr winder;
0 be he wind de blow,
And in driU uenow
I am singinlog to you, Ilandde!
But I greatly fear
That you do not hear,
And I wish that I knew the reason.
Does my voice seem lost
Amid all the frost,
And can I be crowdinllg the eaon:'
I see the trouble
Your window is double !
And I might as well srenade Nero!
8o homeward I'l l slink,
Get a hot ginger drink,
For it's ten degrees below aeo!
Small hblf-face veils as either red or
Engageam. n f mIade etUtely of sp
phire are the slatet.
Figured velvets are much worn, but are
never so elegant as plain ones.
Dark-colored stockings are more worn
than the unbleached balbrtins or striped
Tan-colored Suede gloves divide fahor
with white and black gloves fbr evening
Children's dresses are all made loose
about the waist, In the late revived EglUsh
Short dresses are much In vogue for even
rng wear, even when the wearers do not
Fancy mufs, or "floger coles" as he are
called, are made of the plumage of birds to
match the bonnets.
Mrs. Gen. Belknap, whose No.1 shores
alyzed Washington society a fw yeatm p,
is in Paris, as handsome a ever.
Bangles of gold are now more worn than
those of silver. The more bangle there are
on a bracelet the more styllsh it is.
Sleeves of costumes of ceremony are made
tight, but with pnu or Spealette appendages
in the armhole or on the shoulders.
"Now, children," she continued, "whMt Is
the meal you eat in the morning celled?"
"Oatmeal," promptly replied a member of
Bouquets of one-color rose, tied loosely
with a broad satin ribbon and Ihatened on
the left side of the belt, are fashionable for
An exchange suggests that housekeepers
have a memorandum book in which t3 note
down the location of articles packed away
for use at a future season.
A young man urged, as one of the reasons
why a girl should marry hibm, that be had a
collection of over 400 different kinds of wood.
She said if it was kindling wood she'd think
No Norwegian girl is allowed to have a
beau until she can bake brad and knit
stockings. and, as a consequence, every girl
can bake and knilt luong before she can read
or write, and she doesn't have to be eoaxed
into her industry, either.
The fasbion for envelopes has decided am
something exceptional, which is gr4 and
elegal. Thy are made ofl. vella sel
purest white, and are bound round, north,
south, east and west, with ribbon of.sny
color by fancy cherished, which I tied into
a knot and sealed, with wax of the same hue
as the ribbon. This operation takes place
before the addres is written that it may all
" -ter ý-ýº ---
The Hairpin Crase.
"What breed ?"
"A very common one just at this time.
He's a hairpin crank."
*'What do you mean ?"
"Why, simply what 1 said. It's a new
crazy that has struck all in a beap those pe
culiarly rattled-pated individuals who have
been wont to burn the midnight lamp com
posing a sonnet to my mistress' eyebrows.
As small boys used to gather postage stamps
and the wee girl fill her button-string, so do
these tender hearted youths colllect hairpins.
They watch the ladles as they pass along the
streets, at parties, balls, and in the store on
shopping excursions, and when a hairpin
works loose and falls to the grouad or floor
it is quickly picked up, the lady's name dis
covered, if possible, and the hairpin, proper
ly labeled, therewith goes to swell the col
lection. The bolder of the hairpin colleect
ors will succeed in picking a loose one from
a lady's back hair without her knowing it. I
was invited the other evening to inspect a
collection of the these relies of beauty gath
ered together by a Seventh ward young man.
He had 800 of them, sad they all bore the
name of the ebharming wearers, nlluding all
the changes of fore and aft on the name of
Smith, from Arabella to ZolS, and from plain
Smith to Schmith and Smyth. One of the
pins, my deleetable companion Informed me,
was from the head of one of the ledlag so
clety belles of the city, and cot him $5 to
Nears it, a rival collector having obtained
the precious trophy and sold out to hblm br
"What do they do with thom ?"
"The same as the boy did with his postage
stamps, or the girl with her button strings-
keep them to look at and amire. Theo eas
has Just struck the West. It origJinted
among the dudes of Boston about a year
ago, and has ust arrived. In all probehlity
it will die out In a single season, as it seems
teo foolish to endure long."
ai - -
Thde eduetleo i m -Neg.
Henry Wtterson in the ComrierJouraal
thu gives the history and panysh of a pop
Some cranky Virginan a entuoy or two
age betook himself to the preparat of ea
new bevera, but semebow he beeome
mtaed la his calculations s be proesedsi,
and preded a soup He premoumeod it
,eod, and aledIea.it.~sje W pe
s-Ba among l he sou paqltge4, L br it
boh. s de esaWg ,a del.,cdtsm et am
hal rl nUtMesut, Mai w in . psessa
emlgiv fvs, or, be sque of
eseta son, whether wm , brfmdy oe r roe,
is peased lae the .on esloemerase of
-sem eggs, It massesiis y sarb these. N*
duink is reier or mere nmanes harn thIs
soup sept to st muM dee m the
p.lss, ad s mm arose ae d
trl*y whmn atps itswqsk ua pas* w
fl u ms - t ie l &e