Talcs of t1ec Tim c.
TRUE STORIES AND FANCIFUL YARNS ILLUSTRATIVE OF
MODERN LIFE AND CHARACTER.
T HERE has been filed in the courts
e o of this city, says a Lanark June
tion, Ill., correspondent of the
Philadelphia Times, a suit for divorce on
grounds probably the most extraordinary
in the annals of the law, these grounds
being that a bona fide ghost prevents the
lady bringing the suit from living with her
husband in any degree of matrimonial
quietude and happiness. The plaintiff is
Mrs. Theresa Baldwin, nee Miss Ripple
deane, of a prominet family, who was
married on Dec. 14 last to Philip Baldwin
of this place.
Mrs. Baldwin alleges that the ghost of
Mr. Baldwin's first wife, Rosamond Bald
win, haunts their domicile, persecutes her
in various ways, and altogether makes life
unendurable under their joint husband's
roof, and forces her to live apart from
him. She declares that she was abso
lutely skeptical on matters supernatural,
and before the beginning of her extraor
dinary experiences would have laughed
with the most matter-of-fact at the idea of
a ghost. Mrs. Baldwin's friends also tes
tify to her practical and even turn of
mind, but say that her disposition has
been entirely altered since her marriage.
She is a bright, cheery and lively little
woman, full of gay and pleasing chatter,
but now betrays a nervous, depressed con
dition of the mind, owing, she declares,
wholly to the unsettled life led her by the
ghost. Her story of this persecution is
that on the return from their wedding tour
and on her entering as mistress the house
formerly occupied by Mr. Baldwin and his
first wife the first sight that met her eyes
was a lady dressed in a loose white robe.
She exclaimed at the sight of this stran
ger seated with an air of being"a.t home in
the apartment, and, on his seemling to see
nothing of the figure pointed it out to her
husband, and was quite offended when he
declared that her eyes deceived her and
that there was no one present inl the room
besides herself, himself, and the maid
servant who admitted them. She conclu
ded that he was jesting with her, but in
sisted that there was a woman of the de
scription she gave seated within a few feet
of her. She noticed that the servant
started and turned pale on listening to
this description, and afterward, on being
alone with the girl, she questioned her
closely as to the cause of this emotion,
and, after a great deal of reluctance on
the maid's part, won from her the
avowal that the picture she had drawn
was an exact likeness of her predecessor.
Though much bewildered at this coinci
dence, and amazed at having seen this
singular apparition at her fireside, Mrs.
Baldwin finally succeeded in dismissing
it from her mind.
Several days passed without the occur
ance of anything to startle her, when, one
night while alone in her bedroom, her hus
band being away on business, she was
standing before her mirror brushing out
her hair. She saw all at once at her elbow
this strange figure. Turning from the
glass she looked about the room, but it
was quite empty, andti, thinking that her
imagination had deceived her. she turned
again to the mirror, when, as distinct as
before, she saw the figure staring at tier
with an angry and displeased counten
ance.
Frightened now beyond all control of
herself she ran screaming to the bedroom
door, but to her astonishment found it
was as securely locked as she herself had,
left it on entering the room. She called
the cook, who was the only servant in the
house, telling her what she had seen, and
together they searched the bedroom and
the dressing room opening into it, but
found no trace of any one. She was so
disturbed over this occurrence that she
unable to sleep for the rest of the
So much was she upset by the mystery
of the thing that she wrote to her sister,
viss Anna Belle Hippledeane, to come
lend her company when Mr. Bald
*.usiness took him from her. The
yad~ig lady,a sprightly miss of 16, was told
nothing of what had happened, and to her
bright, sunshiny nature the unhappy lady
trusted to drive from her mind the de
lusion which she was beginning to believe
was the cause of her seeing this ghastly
figure. But on the day after her arrival
Miss Anna Bell destroyed this hope by
remarking to her sister that she had seen
a lady in white walking down the hall just
before her, and asking where she had
gone.
Her sister put her off with some trivial
explanation, but the next day Miss Rip
pledeane came to see her and Mr. Bald
win, saying that she had just seen a wo
man dressed in white enter her bedroom,
and that, following her into the apartment
she had been unable to find any trace of
her. She insisted on her sister and Mr.
Baldwin accompanying her in a further
search. Mr. Baldwin was much put out at
what he considered a hysterical,creature
of his wife's heated imagination. Mrs.
Baldwin denied this, and, being up
held in her statement by her sister, the
gentleman began also to look uneasy and
amazed.
He went at once to Miss Rippledeane's
room and searched in vain for the in
truder. He refused to believe that it was
the spirit of his dead wife, though Mrs.
Baldwin testified in her plea for divorce
that on one occasion she heard her bus
band speaking to some one whom he
called Rosamond, and to whom he ad
dressed a prayer to go away and leave
him in peace. On entering the room she
found her husband alone, and he became
angry when she asked him to whom he
spoke, denying that he had been talking
to any one.
After this began a series of petty perse
cutions by the ghost, the latter, for the
most part, being invisible, but pinching
Mrs. Baldwin on the arms and neck, and
phlling her hair about her face. This was
usually when she was alone or when only
her husband was present, but on several
occasions, in the presence of guests, she
was hardly able to suppress cries of pain
from severe pinches administerbd to her
by her invisible tormentor.
She remembers once showing to alady
caller her hand, on which had jtst'ap
peared a large and cruel bruise. This
lady gives her evidence also. She says
that her eyes chanced at that moment to
be fixed on her boatess' pretty, plump
hand and that she saw the flesh caught up
as by a vicious grasp, which caused Mrs.
Baldwin to cry out as though in pain, and
to:exhibit to her a purple brtisethat hpd
not been there the moment before. Mrs.
Bkldwin's maid testified to'he~ing seeba'
woman in white about the house, bit she.
was never close enough to obtain sight of
her face.
The maid to whom Mrs. Baldwin de
scribed the figure she had seen on the
first night of her installation as mistress
of the house, and who is the only servant
in the household who was retained after
the first Mrs. Baldwin's death, testifies to
her present mistress having drawn as per
fect likeness of her predecessor as could
only have come from one familiar with
her in life or looking at her as she spoke,
which is the more remarkable as Mrs.
Baldwin never saw her husband's first
wife while still alive.
It is understood that Mr. Baldwin prom
ised his first wife when she was dying that
he would never marry again. On being
interviewed regarding the suit brought by
his wife, he declared that he had nothing
to say.
DON FERNANDO.
IN THE large cities of Mexico poverty
is very prevalent; beggars are
numerous and alms-seeking is re
duced to a science. The laws are very
strict against asking alms openly, and
hence beggars resort to artful means to
extort aid from charitable people. WVhile
the law expressly forbids asking alms, it
does not prevent beggars from accepting
aid. These professional beggars evade
the law by pretending to peddle goods,
sell trifles or act as street porters, etc.;
but they actually live on ahns bestowed by
charitable people. These "professional
beggars" are generally dressed in rags and
tatters, and on their faces carry a woe
begone and hungry expression. Should
you bestow alms on one of these gentry,
lie will call down the blessings of heaven
and all the saints on your head; should
you not give him alms, he will curse you
and consign you to the hottest part of
hades. Indeed, their seeming piety is
only excelled by their persisltency and pro
fanity.
Adjoining the federal building in the
City of Mexico was a little portico that
jutted out from the main building. A
Mexican occupied this place. He was a
dignified-looking, middle-aged man, and
while his clothes were rather old and
seedy-looking, he kept them carefully
brushed and always presented a shabby
genteel appearance. From daylight till
dark, he was to be found at his post. Hie
wore wide-legged, white cotton pants,
ornamented with a broad yellow stripe;
high-heeled boots, always neatly blacked;
a long, black Price Albert coat, shining
from age, buttoned closely over his chest
and its lapel adorned with a bouqulet of
roses; his head was covered with a high
stovepipe hat of uncertain age and
remoter fashion; and a pearl gray vest
decorated with a huge brass watch chain;
a gorgeous red sash and a skyblue neck
tie completed his wearing apparal and
finely set off his well-built figure. In
fact, he presented such a well-dressed,
genteel appearance that the employes of
the federal building bestowed on him the
flattering and dignified title of "Don
Fernando."
Don Fernando really lived on alms, but
he was too shrewd to openly solicit dona
tions from charitable people, as such a
course would lead to his arrest and con
viction as a vagrant and beggar. To ccim
ply with the requirements of the law lie
had taken out a "merchant's license." In
the eyes of the law Don Foernando was a
"merchant," though his name did not lig
ure prominently on 'change, while, as a
matter of fact, he was a beggar and de
pended on charity for his living.
Dou Fernando had a small box and a
small portable stand. He was .a "'mer
chant," so ]ins license said, and his 'stock"
consisted of a few Spanish weekly paters,
a box of cigars that no one could smoke, a
dozen boxes of matches innocent of sul
phur, and a gross of lead pencils devoid
of plumbago. He could talk English pretty
fair and looked upon American tourists
with great favor, as he frequently secured
with great favor, as lte frequently secured
alms from them. He claimed to keep
"American books and papers" for the
benefit of American tourists. These
"American books and papers" consisted
of a few tattered and out of date Globe
Democrats and a bundle of Ayer's alman
acs, and patent medicine pamphlets that
he had gathered up at drug stores.
Don Fernando was always on the look.
out for American tourists. Should an
American pass within a rod of his "busi
ness" stand, Don Fernando would in
stantly resume a graceful and dignified
attitude and call out in English: "Here
is American books and newspapers for
sale; the finest collection in the city.
Colonel, will you please buy a late paper f"
This would fetch the tourist every time.
He would look over the "selection of
American books and newspapers," but,
as the papers were usually out of date, he
would ask for a later one. Then Don
Fernando's face would assume a doleful
expression, and in a half-sobbing voice he
would assure the tourist "that while he
spoke English, he could not read it; that
news agents took advantage of him and
worked off old papers on him; that he was
an honest, but poor man; he had a wife
and five children, the youngest of which
was an infant only three days old; that
he must sell his goods to procure himself
and family their evening meal; would not
the rich American buy something from
him; should he do so, the saints in heaven
would bless him."
As Don Fernando never had anything
that a person would possibly desire to buy
the tourist would generally bestow a few
nickels in alms, and continue on his
way. Don Fernando would loudly call
down the blessings of heaven on his bene
factor,'wipe away the supposed tears, re
arrange his "stock," light a cigarette, sit
down, and patiently await another tour
ist "sucker."
Don .Fernando did not seem to make
great efforts to make a sale; but to every
American who stopped at his "news"
stand he would relate his affecting tale
of poverty and woe, and lay particular
stress on unfortunately being the father
"of an infant three days old." The infant
part of his pathetic story was particularly
afeotitsg, and it always fetched a dime or
a quarter from the charitably disposed
.auditor. Had Don Fernando been the
father of twins, I am sure he would have
bankrupted all the tourists.
-At dusk Don Fernando would "close up
lila shop," feeling happy that while he had
made but few sales his "stock" was still
undiminished, his fair receipts for the day
1·rg c:lear profit. He would put his
"stock" in the box, shoulder it and start
fa .'his home. Bright and early the next
n}osving he would be back and ready for
"business."
Don Fernando's "news" stand was situ
ated near the stamp department division
room of the customs service; and the
clerks could clearly overhear him recite
his tale of woe to tenderfeet tourists. This
mourful story soon became a chestnut to
the clerks in the stamp department, and
we could all repeat it word for word back
ward, forward, and in the English and
Spanish. During a period of four months
Don Fernando related his pathetic story to
American tourists at least 20 times a day,
and he never varied it a word. That "in
fant of three days old" never got any
older. But he never attempted to tell his
story to Mexicans. The clerks in the
federal building got pretty well acquainted
with Don Fernando, to the detriment of
his pocketbooks and morals, and believed
he was an honest but unfortunate nman;
instead, as he proved to be, a canting
hypocrite and consummate rascal.
For several months Don Fernando occu
pied his place of "business," and seemed
to be doing well in the matter of receiving
altos; though he never directly asked for
charity, and seldom made a sale.
One morning Doll Fernando was absent.
An hour later, my attention was attracted
to an uproar in the streets. I saw three
policemen half carrying and dragging an
intoxicated Mexican to the jail. The
prisoner was vainly resisting the ollicers
and cursing them with choice Spanish and
vigorous English oaths. I looked more
closely at the prisoner, and recognized in
the bruised and battered face, the well
known features of Don Fernando! But
the graceful, polite and genteel air was
missing. The shiny, well-brushed plug
hat was crushed ilto a shapeless nmass,
and hung jauntily on his left car; the
long, black Prince Albert coat was split
sil) the hack, torn to ribbons, and the
shreds were fluttering in the breeze. Tih
peral gray vest was begrirmed with dust;
the sky-blue necktie, and gorgeous red
sasll were badly disarranged: while gaping,
rrents int the cotton trousers exposed to
public gaze those portions of Dona Fer
nando's anatomy which edicts of fashion
and city ordinances require to be con
cealed.
Don Fernando that night slept in jail,
and tile next day Ire had his trial. At the
trial it was proved that lie was a"turbu
lent character" and a "professional Ieg
gar," that he didl not have "a wife and
five children," and that the "three-tday-old
infant" only existed in his fertile imagi
nation. For months e Don Fernando had
been pretending to be an honest "morr
chant," but in reality he was only a "pro
fessional beggar," and had lived on alms
gained through false pretenses and lying
tales of family misfortunes.
The police magistrate sentenced Don
Fernando to six months' imoprisonmrent
for "fighting, begging and exposure of
person." His "merchant's license" was re
voked, and his stall near the federal build
ing placardpd "to rent."
I frequently saw the prisoner while he
was working out his fine on the streets,
but in the striped-clad. sullen and tough
looking convict I could hardly recognize
tihe graceful, polite and genteel )uon Far
nando, late "News MŽorclahant," ntear the
the federal building.
The moral of tins story is: Don't beg.
but if necessary, teal flirst. It is more
honorable if it is more risky. SIn.
TOLD BY AN ATTORNEY.
EVERAL members of the bar were
sitting around the stove in tile
court room, the judge amongst
them, witnesses, litigants, jurors and
spectators having mostly retired. There
was a lull in the proceedings, and the
lawyers were indulging in reminiscences
of tihe bench and bar.
Thgejudge had recalled the familiar in
cident related ill one of MIcGuffey's scheol
readers wherein it is told of the famous
Chief Justice Marshall that at some coun
try inn in Virginia he had listened in
silence to an argllument amongst Nsouie
young law students discussing and renti
lating their views on the evidences of
Christianity, and after they had exhausted
the subject as they supposed, how they
turned to the venerable old mani whom
they took for some' old hayseed in the
neighborhood, and how tile great chief
justice of the United States rose up and
fell upon their puerile argument against
Christianity like a thousand of bricks and
smote the presumptious young fools hip
and thigh.
"That story is somewhat fishy," added
the judge, "for Marshall was not likely to
surprise anyone in that way. It always
struck me as being on a par with the other
story in the reader about the boy who
climbed up the wall of the Natural Bridge
to carve his name higher than all the
others to carve his name with his jack
knife. As the rock is limestone to carve
one's name on it with a jack-knife would
be a difficult task."
"Perhaps the story was written by an
Englishman," added a lawyer, "and Ihe
made the very natural mistake of suppos
ing that the rock was the same as that
found in England which is mostly soft
enough to be easily cut by a knife."
"Well," remarked the district attorney.
"I never placed much faith in the Mar
shall story for I suppose it is like many
other goody-goody stories which are told
to point a moral, but the story may have
had a grain of truth in it. I know of a
similar incident, however, within my own
experience."
"How was that?"
"I was living in the town of E---, and
had just commenced the practice of law.
Of course clients were scarce and I with
my diploma from a latw school and my li
cense to practice had waited and waited
for business which did not show
up until, to keep the wolfe
from the door, I 'accepted' the
nomination for police magistrate of the
town of E., and on account of my poverty,
I suppose, was elected by a good major
ity."
"We got fees instead of salary, the mar
shal and I, and of course it behooved the
marshal to let no guilty man es
cape arrest, and whenever a wretch was
charged in my court with violating a town
ordinance, 1 am afraid that the merciful
presumption of the law that every man
charged with a crime is presumed to be in
nocent until he is proven guilty beyond a
reasonable doubt, was totally reversed. In
fact, the marshal, who was older than I,
and had a family to support, insisted that
it was better for ninety and nine innocent
men to suffer than one gitilty should es
cape.
City attorney, we had none.
E- was a university town and many
of the students made it a practice to be at
the railroad depot to see the incoming and
outgoing trains. They also bid a habit of
getting on the trains, riding out of town a
short distance and, jumping off.walk back
to town. This they did at considerable
risk to themselves. Although 'trains did
not run so fast at that time as they do
now there was some compliiit made
about it and the town council passed an
ordinance against the practice.
"It was intended for the benefit of the
students, of course, but it Increased our
jurisdiction and like most courts," he
bowed to the judge, "we were not slow to
accept the increase."
"We had enforced this ordinance on
several instances, no one questioning its
validity. One day the marshal, happen
ing to be near the depot, saw a passenger
jump from the train while it was in
motion. Here was a fish for his net. The
passenger seemed to be a countryman
from the neighborhood, as he was dressed
in the uniform of the farmers of that re
gion, that is, he wore a broad-brim straw
hat, a coarse suit of clothes, and his pants
were stuffed in his boot tops after the
manner of the husbandmen. 1-Its hair
and beard were long and shaggy as if they
had not received his attention for some
time.
"Although our ordinance was mainly
directed at students, yet the marshal, who
was no respecter of persons, especially
when they were strangers and would
likely pay a small fine rather than go to
the expense of employing counsel to de
fond them, arrested the stranger in the
act and immediately brought him before
the court.
"Next day we happened to have a for
cible entry and detainer suit on trial in
my court, involving the possession of a
valuable tract of land near town, and
there were several lawyers in court, some
engaged in the trial and others hearing
the proceedings.
"When the marshal came in with his
prisoner the latter was offered a seat on a
bench in the corner of the room. He an
nounced that lie had a prisoner present
ready to stand his trial, and I, as judge,
had to sidetrack the civil business on hand
to attend to the criminal.
"I filled up a blank complaint against
the prisoner inserting his name which he
suggested. During the lull in the civil
proceedings the prisoner, who was on the
soinme bench where the jury sat, looked not
unlike one of them. The six greasy spots
against the wall where the heads of suc
cessive jurors had rested were properly
filled with empty heads again---the filthy
crowd that burdens the air in police court
were all there, and the hangers on, that
put in the morning in this court as regu
larly as the sun rises, were all there.
"I read thecomplaintto the prisonerand
asked him if lihe was ready to plead, dud if
lie desired counsel.
"He said lie would defend his own case
and would plead not guilty.
"This attracted the attention of the
lawyers who like to see the man with 'a
fool for a client,' and I remember that
Colonel Hi., who was present, engaged in
the civil case and was a distinguished
lawyer from the city of B., looked at the
prisoner with an air of recognition and
smiled more than once at the further
proceedings against the prisoner as if
there were sonme concealed joke in the
matter, known only to him and the
prisoner.
However, we proceeded to introduce wit
no:ses and tihe town having closed its ceso
and everything being soon heard and fully
understood by the court, the court was
satisfactorily convinced that tile prisonler
was guilty beyond all question of getting
off a moving train within the corporate
limits, this time, and from the appearance
of tile prisoner it was an even guess
whether he could pay his line or woult be
cotmpelled, to sweat it out in durance vile
in rhe town jail.
The court asked if he had any witnesses
and ihe replied that he had not.
Then after reading to himn the ordin
ance and reviewing the evidence, I re
quested him to stand uti, and he cotlplied
very cheerfully, not seeming to appreciate
the gravity of the situation nor the dan
ger he wnis in.
"You have been lawfully tried," I began,
in as deep and grave a mianner as be
came the police magistrate of the corpora
tion of E---, "for the offense of vidlating
the provisions of ordinance so and so of
the town of E.--, by jumping from a
moving train within the corporate limits
of said town on the blank day of blank,
eighteen hundred and blank. The court
finds you guilty in manner and form as
charged in the complaint, and assesses
your punishment at a fino of ten dollars
arid costs. Have you anything to say why
sentence should not be pronounced upon
you?"
"Well, yes," he said. "By the way,
your honor, have you at hand a copy of
the charter of your city?"
In that state each town is specially in
corporated by act of the legislature and
not under a general law as is done here.
I had a copy of the charter and got it
and handed it to him.
"Better plead guilty, general," observed
Colonel H. to the defendant. "Who en
ters here leaves all hope behind!"
But he didn't. He gave us a lecture on
the law of municipal corporations such
as had not been heard before in that
court and such as I venture to
say will never be heard there
again. His voice was deep and clear, and
before he was done we were thoroughly
convinced that our council had no Dower
to prohibit anyone from getting off a train
head first if he thought fit, and we were
equally convinced that our prisoner
should be treated as became his station.
I dismissed the case out of hand and
bringing forward my best box of cigars,
offered one to him, which he accepted.
Then Colone" H. came forward and began
congratulating the prisoner upon his es
cape and we were soon apprised of the
fact that he was tile attorney general of
the United States.
He had been out in the neighborhood
hunting and fishing, and had got off the
train at E., to await the train for Wash
ington.
"He didn't floor you with his elo
quence?" asked the judge.
"No," replied the district attorney, "he
raised a point on us We were not looking
for."
NOTHING IMPROBABLE IN IT.
BHE strange-looking man' sat in one
S" corner of the smoker and hadn't
much to say when the drummer
and the Western real estate man were
telling their stories. He roused, how
ever, after a peculiar gqe by the drummer.
"That reminds me," he said, "of some
thing that happened once in a min
ing town in the Rockies during
the good old times when every
thing was new out there. Like every
other mushroom municipality, we had
among us gamblers and greenies, toughs
and tenderfeet. One of these tenderfeet
was the most cowardly fellow, in some
ways, I ever saw, and how he ever came
to such a place I couldn't understand. He
was afraid of everybody, and a boy could
bulldoze him; but hp was bright minded,
with a fine turn for business, and was
honest. A pistol was a horror to him, and
he wouldn't take a drink of whiskey un
der any ciroumstances, which, by the
way, required considerable courage. In
his case it did, at least, as it arterward
turned out, for one day he refused to
drink with the ugliest, most dangerous
man we had, and a row'ensued.'
"The tough whipped out a pistol and
would have killed the fellow, but some
one caught his arm, and the other man
went down on his knees and begged for
his life. It was no good, however; the
tough was drunk and was determined to
kill him, and to prevent an open murder
some one suggested that they light it out
in the street, and a revolver was put into
the hands of the tenderfoot. He didn't
know how to handle the gun at all, and
while one man showed him what to do,
four or five more held the tough. Then
they were put at 10 paces, and a more ab
ject, scared specimen I never sawc than
that tenderfoot. He could hardly stand
up, and his pistol wabbled about as if it
were swung to a string. The tough en
joyed it more than any one else, for he
felt sure of his victim.
"After he had watched the shivering
wretch for a moment he pulled tip his gun,
and at the same time the tenderfoot pulled
up his and tried to aim it. Then bang
woent the tough's gun, and almost simul
taneously followed the report of the ten
derfoot's. The tough dropped like a shot
ox, and the tenderfoot threw up Iris right
hand and howled with pain and fear. We
rushed up and found the tough dead, with
a bullet through his heart, and the tender
foot with his fingers and haLnd bruised and
bleeding. but not seriously injured. The
bullet from the tough's pistol had struck
the triggor of the tenderfoot's and dis
clharged it with fatal results."
The strange-looking man had appar
ontly no more to say, and iis listeners
lo, ed at each other questioningly.
The drummer coughed suspiciously.
"May I ask," he said, "how it haplpened
that the tough's bullet didn't take the ten
derfoots lirinafr ofl before it reached the
trigger of his pistol?'"
"Simple enough,: said the strange-look
ing man, frankly, "lie didn't have his fin
ger on the trigger; he had it on the trigger.
guatrd, and lie would have been pulling on
it yet to make the gun go off if luck hadn't
been against the tough."
The strange-looking man relapsed into
his former silence, and nobody had the
cheek to try to tell any more stories.-Die
troil .'ee t'ress.
MARRIAGES OUT OF FASHION.
So By the Wiay Are irthn anlld Incident
ally I)eatihs, Too.
From the New Orleans Times-Democrat.
In all the three important events in
man's career--birth, marriage and death
-there has been a remarkable falling oiff
the last 20 years, confined to no country,
but existing througlhout the civilized globe.
We need not inquire into the causes, for
we can see them too clearly around us.
The chief cause which lies at the bottom
of all the trouble is the decline in mar
riage. Marriage has gone out of favor
with the emnancipation of woman and the
greater difficulty in making a living, and
lhis decrease largely explains the falling
off in the birth rate, but not wholly, for the
average nilluber of births to cach arllnrisage
are fewer than a score of years ago. lThe
only redeeming feature in this picture is
the declining death rate, due to better
sanitation and a better knowledge of how
to care for ourselves; indeed, but for
this improvement the population of
the world would be at a standstill
to-day, as the birth rate is just
what the death rate was a quarter of a
ccntury ago. ne are still improving our
sanitary condition and saving many lives
that nore hitlherto sacrificed, but we nmust
recognize tie fact that sooner or later we
will reach the highest point which we can
hope to achieve. On the other hand.,
there is no limit in the matter of a de
creasing Ibirth rate, and it may continue
indefinitely until it reaches the zero
point. In France the population is accit
ally at a standstill, and would probably
be declining but for the immigration from
Italy, Belgium and Germany. In Ireland
and tHawaii it has been declining for
nearly half a century, and the whole civil
ized world seems to be drifting in that
direction. There is no danger of very
much crowding on the planet, as philoso
phers feared. Cwiilization will prevent
this, and Malthus, could he visit us to
day, would probably be very much suir
prised to see how naturally his sugges
tions have been carried out.
Scratched Her rName Off.
A special dispatch in the St. Louis
Globe-Democrat, from Washington, I). C.,
Marc. 21, says: "Where is this person?"
asked Secretary Morton, as lie pointed to
a name on the pay roll. Against the name
was set the salary of $1,800 a year, the
highest received by ally woman inl the de
partment of agriculture.
"She is away on leave," replied the
clerk.
"How long has she been away?"
"Six months," rephled the clerk.
"Strike the name from the roll," said
the secretary.
,Something was said about thle "influ
ence" behind the $1,800 movement.
"It makes no difference who she is,"
said the secretary. "We will have no one
drawing $1,800 a year and not rendering
any service."
The name went off. And the old-timers
are wondering what will happen when the
woman comes back.
"Why," said one startled employe, "the
whole south is behind her."
They tell a story of a senator's experi
ence with this woman. lie had heard
that she had said her husband was the
inventor of the gun which killed more
Yankees than any other made in thie south.
It occurred to him to ask for her official
head for tilhe remark. The woman learned
of the senator's action and she went to
him.4
"You have me removed front my place,"
she said, "and I will see that you lose your
seat in the senate."
"I believe she would, too," said the
senator in telling about the interview.
Another case somewhat similar to this
of Secretary Morton occurred recently. A
cabinet officer heard of a woman holding
a "si-ne-cu-rae" in his department and
sent for her immediate superior.
"Why isn't she discharged?" he asked.
"W'e would have a row on our hands,'"
was the answer. "She is a sister-in-law
of Congressman Elank."
"Mark her off." ordered the secretary.
"She would go if she was the sister-in-law
of Andrew Jackson and Thomas Jefferson
put together. The people in this depart
ment will earn their money."
A Boon for Ladles.
French Tansy Tablets are for the relief
and cure of painful and irregular menses
and will remove all obstructions, no mat
ter what the cause. The only sure and safe
remedy on the market. Manufactured by
A, Augendre, Paris, France. $2 per box
and for sale only by D. 1M. Newbro Drug
company, sole agents, Butte. M.ot.
INTEREST INGREASING
aumerous Letters of Congratulation and
Commendation.
AN EDUCATIONAL CRUSADE
The Teachers of Butte Pass Reso
lutions Expressive of Their Ap
preciation of the "Stand
ard's" Efforts.
The best is none too good in anything,
and especially is this true when the best
is easily obtainable. It is pre-eminently
true that the best authority should be con
suilted when in search of knowledge, be
cause the first impression is always lasting
and aids or hinders education according
as it is true or false.
The STarnsoeAn respectfully acknowl
edges'its gratitude for the letters of en
couragement which come in by scores
every day. If there is such a thing as
pleasure in doing good for others then the
SnTANDARD may justly feel proud of its most
liberal enterprise of supplying to its read
ers the greatest reference library on earth
at the trifling outlay of the price of a cigar
each day.
The teachers of Butte give expression to
their united opinion in the following:
WeVo believe that no work can be placed
in the hands of the school children of to
day which will be of more immediate and
lasting value than the Encyclopaedia Bri
tallnnica. It supplenents the instruction
of teachers; it stimulates the spirit of in
quiry on the part of the pupils; it opens
up to them the length and breadth of the
field of knowledge; it fits them for more
gereral usefulness, and will enable them
no carry forward theireducation long after
the ordinary years of schooling are over.
tuchl, we believe, to be a few of the bene
fits of the 13ritannica to the young of our.
schools.
"'We can conceive of no better way of
securing this great work than through the
very liberal offer of the STANDARD, and
we would heartily recommend the plan of
securing it to parents and scholars
throughout our city."
LOST OPPORTUNITIES REDEEMED
A Complete Education Education Nov
WVithin Rench of the 011. and Young.
There is not an intelligent man in the
world but appreciates the value of educe
tion and has occasion many times to re
gret the fact that he has either failed to
take advantage of early opportunities or
perhaps been deprived altogether of the
advantages of higher educational institu
tions il his earlier life. It- is too late for
him to take up a regular course of study,
there being no time to devote to it amid
the myriad cares of active life.
But the next best thing to a college
course is the possession of the results of
the ripe scholarship of others, and when
these results are epitomized the one who
has them at comnuand has actually the
cream of a college education.
i-low to get these results is an important
question, but we have answered it for our
readers by putting within their reach that
incomparable reference library, the En
cyclopedia BIrittannica, and doing it, too,
at a figure which tmakes it available to
every one. This work is the combined
epitomization of the ripest -and best
knowledge of hundreds of the ablest
minds of England and America.
There is nothing else like it under the
sun. Upon whatever subject, whatis said
may be depended upon as being the latest
ltnd most accurate knowledge available.
No expense has been spared in the prepa
ration of the new matter which has been
added to the original Edinburgh edition,
antd the busy manu or the student who
tunris to the pages of tiis work may rest
content that whllat he finds therein is the
latest and best, no matter what*the topics
dealt with.
In a word, the Encyclopedia lritannica
is a college education in itself. The most
brilliant college graduates cannot know
more ithen is contained within these pages,
and the htumblest reader become at once
on a par with him who has devoted long
years to study.
This great educational advantage our
readers may put within their reach for the
insigniticent sum of 10 cents a day. The
offer is not one that will be continued in
definitely. its lltany advantages do pot
ertmit of that
Imported Song Birds.
The success of tile efforts of our north
crt neighbors in Oregon in importing
song birds is attested by the following,
takeil from the Oregonian: Speaking of
this sutbject it says:
"fRelports are cotling in from a number
of places to Secretary Piluger, of the as
sociation for the importation of song birds,
in regard to the return of the birds from
tthir winter migration.
The song thrushes are back. One pair,
which raised broods of young out near the
cemetery, are again building in the same
locality, and the male is regaling the peo
ple around there with his sweet songs. A
tlnumber of other thrushes have been seen
in tile city and neighborhood. The black
starlings have also returlled, and a pair
tare building a nest iear the hoart of the
city, wlhero they nested last year. The
maole is freqtuently heard singing from the
topl of a church spire. Fra.tl Dekum went
around to have a look at them the other
itay, and was much pleased to see thtem
back. Gohlfinches and chafllnches
have returned in large numlbers.
.IThe skylarks do not migrate. Flocks
of 15 or 20 of them were seen on
the Riverside road while tile snow was on
the ground, and a number of them were
foel by It. Scott of hilhwaukee during the
co!d spell. They are now heard singing
on uine days, but they have not had a
chance to sing much of late. A number
of black thrIushes have been seen at Sum
mit, and itn Washington and Marion
counties. 'The only report in regard to
nightingales last season came from Mr.
t-ltugles, who lives near Silverton. He
wrote that a pair of nightingales had been
nesting near a spring oil his place, and
had raised broods there for two or three
sutmmers. lie will report if they return
again this season.
(ln the whole, the results of the itmporta
tiyn of song birds have been very satisfao
Feminlnue Even in Peril.
One humorous accident connected with
the fire is tolt me by a nmember of engine
25. He was with a few members of that
conlpany attenlpting to save a screaming
young lady who was hanging from the
third story of the Ames building. At the
risk of thetr own lives they finally placed
a ladder ont the btlrning building, and one
Iuan took the youngl lady from her peril
ouls position and placed her safely on the
grDoutd. Instead of runining as fast as
she could for her life shite carefully took
hold of her skirts and lifted them so as
not to wet them, and slowly picked her
1way amnong the debris and on to the oppo
site sidcwalk, where she disappeared.
lBoston Eitcning Record.