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VLH ()I2,r T .' I'., I 'll 3I.DRontan. LO ,AMOIAHND ID Y E R Y18W L E Ii : __... •__ _ _ _,, , . . _._ _ ..... _-_. of the County IS Reaj E ct VOL. 2 8, N(). 31. DEER LODGE, MONTANA, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 1897. WHOLE NO, 1t0 J. C.' . Office 4)la a lta ' It. i. 1 l. l I lah DI4r-, 1. ) G1, 1aN,'1 N -NA. D It. . \. " 1 Ofic i t uN r1l i Office in l ,i .., ., ;a , k. Deer 14 14,, - - __- Alitalia W "l. o 'w t lil cidtul aitnd Sillg Oil Oflice--To tie l'git, it ad of stair-, Coleman and Laino g oiodK, aer Ldge. Mloltalia. Offie hours - Io to 12 a in., and 8 to 6 p. In. HTospital 12 ill. o 1 i L. in. 8. E. LARABIE. C. X. LA5RRAEE. H. S. REED. LAlRAllIE BROTHERS & CO., BAN iKE S, DEi'l i - --E - - - - - M-IONTANA Doag iit u iaessaiatd draw exchange taillt , i Itleo s tt tlae world. Careful it ii " I t c l, a ol. alnid reaiit NeW a1 , 'ei tall Ie L arderl N .i k... . a ia l'k it, N. Y. Co. a , . AltU1 alflLL CLASSICA I. A 1' SOLENTIVIC C(OURSaES pNot i ; I . ; ;," a a ' , , it. I) ii T ,a it Open to bot - e, •, For Termns applly to tihe Presiatl a,. at DEERl LOIDGE, MONTANA. W. HI. O'NEILL -DEALER IN Shelf and Heavy HARDWARE QUEENSWARE. (GLASSWARE, ETC., Special attention given to plumbing in all its branches. Estimates promptly furnished either for town or country. Correspondence Solicited. W. H. O'NEILL : IDeer Lodge. Western Brewery DEEI R LODGE - - - MONTANA J. E. Van Gundy, Prop Having bought and put in the most ap proved machinery for generating Soda, Sarsaparilla, Ginger Ale, Lemonade and all Carbonate Drinks, with experienced workmen in charge, I am prepared to furnish them bottled or in charges for fountains, promptly on notice, and as L OW AS ANY HOUSE IN THE STATE Address orders to J. E. VAN GUNDY, Deer Lodge, Mont JOHN CLAGUE. CHIAS. CLAGUE. CLAGUE BROTHERS, DEALERS IN Fruits, Confectionery, Cigars, Tobaccos, Etc. Sotla Water - - - - lee Crealml V W arel HIedqllarters for The "Liberty" Wheel Extras Kept in Stock and Ilicycles of All Kinds Repaired on Short Notice. l" Orders left with us for books, newspapers, magazines, etc., will have our prompt and careful attention. CLAGUE BROTHERS. (Mignerey & Rodgers' Old Stand) Deer Lodge. CrIT YMEAT MARKET DEER LODGE - - - - - MONTANA. Wholesale and Retail dealers in Meat, Sausage, Game, Smoked and Dried Meats, Etc. Cash Paid for Hides. None but the best grades of stock slaughtered for our trade. Goods deliveredto any part of the city. A share of patronage solicited. lust South of O'Neill's Hardware Store. N. J. Bielenberg & Co. GEMS IN VERSE. .aVrnings. The lurk was up to meet the sun And caroling his lay; The farmer's boy touk down his gun And at him blazed away. The busy bee got up at five And buzzed the meadow o'er; The farmer's wife went for its hive And robbed it of its store. The ant arose at break of day, His labors to begin; The greedy swallow flew that way And took his antship in. Oh, bIeas and birds and ants, be wise; In proverbs take no stock. Like me, refuse from sleep to rise Till half past seven o'clock. -C. W. Willis. The Last Fight. Fear death? To feel the frog in my throat, Thie mist in my face, Wh< n the snows begin and the blasts denote I am nearing the place, jhe power of the night, the press of the storm, The post of the foe, Where he stands, the arch fear, in a visible form, Yet the strong man must go, For the journey is done and the summit at tainerd, And the barriers fall, Though a battle's to fight ere the guerdon is gained, The reward of it all. I was ever a fighter, so one fight more, The best and the lastI I would hate that death bandaged my eyes and forbore And bade me creep past. No, let me taste the whole of it, fare like my peers, The heroes of old, Bear the brunt, in a minute pay glad life's ar rears Of pain, darkness and cold, For sudden the worst turns the best to the brave, The black minute's at end, And the elements' rage, the fiend voices that rave, Shall dwindle, shall blend, Shall change, shall become first a peace out of pain, Then a light, then thy breast, Oh, thou soul of my soull I shall clasp thee again. And with God be the restl --obert Browning. Dorothy's Mustn'ts. "I'm sick of 'mustn'ts,' " said Dorothy D. "From early morn till the close of day I hear a 'mustn't' and never a 'may.' It's 'You mustn't lie there like a sleepy head,' And 'You mustn't sit up when it's time for bed;' " *You mustn't cry when I comb your curls;' 'You mustn't play with those noisy girls;' 'You mustn't be silent when spoken to;' 'You mustn't chatter as parrots do;' "'You mustn't be pert,' and 'You mustn't bW proud;' 'You mustn't giggle or laugh aloud;' 'You mustn't rumple your nice clean dress;' 'You mnut.ll't nod in place of a yes.' "So all day long the 'must 'ts' go Till I dream at night of ano endless row Of goblin 'mustin'ts,' with great big eyes That stare at ime in shocked surprise. "Oh, I hop,, I shall live to see the day When some or will say to me, 'Dear, you may,' For I'm i ek of 'mustn'to,' " said Dorothy D.; "Sick of 'mustn'ts' as I can h ne." -Sulluy Hour. Season We Like Best. When the wintry winds are blowing, And with health your checks are glowing, And tihe storms rage fiercely from the east and west, As with gay heart you go prancing To some favored place for dancing Don't you think you like the winter time the best? But when the sleigh bells have ceased ringing, Andi you hear sweet birds a-singing As they sock a spot to build their pretty nest, You stand with some girl chaffing, And your joyous heart is laughing, Don't you think that springtime is the best? And soon the summer sun is shining. Surely tthat's no time for pining, For all nature seems to be with goodness blest, And you take a day of tramping Or perhaps a week at camping. Oh, yes, you say that summner time's the bestl But as the summer's slowly ending And the leaves are all a-blending To a yellow golden color as tlhey fall, When the air is clear and bracing And a cool brbeze you are facing, Oh, don't you think that autumn's best of all? -J. Ward Lamb. Darest Thou Now, 0 Soul! Darest thou now, O soul, Walk out with me toward the unknown region Where neither ground is for the feet nor any path to follow? No map there, nor guide, Nor voice sounding, nor touch of human hand, Nor face with blooming flesh, nor lips, nor eyes, are in that land. I know it not, 0 soul, Nor dost thou. All is a blank before us; All waits undcreamed of in that region, that inaccessible land, Till when the ties loosen All but the ties eternal-time and space, Nor darkness, gravitation, sense, nor any bounds bounding us, Then we burst forth, we float, In time and space, 0 soul, prepared for them, Equal, equipt at last (Oh, joy! Oh, fruit of alll) them to fulfill, O soul! -Walt Whitman. themn to fulfill, U soul! -Walt Whitman. Sunshine. Why scowl and growl at all you find Nor hoed hope's sweet beguiling? Each frown will leave its mark behind, A ragged scar upon the mind. Try smiling. Why always mourn and weep, the heart At sorrow's bowl keep quaffing? The mclancholy tears that start Will hold your soul and peace apart. Try laughing. If in life's course you nobly run, Then do not be repining, For you will find, with duty done, Behind the darkest cloud the sun oIs shining. -Ladies' Home Journal. Pleasures Shared. This truth do I hold while the earth blooms fair, Ere the days of our youth are flown Far sweeter one pleasure that two can share Than a score that we hold alone. Aye, more, when the shadows of age appear, With the love of our youth still true, No selfish delight can be half so dear As a joy that is shared by two. Life's trials, I know, lose their power to harm Wiion she whispereth words of cheer, And all of the sweetness that gives life and charm, Being shared, is made doubly dear. -Frank Putnam in Chicago Times-Herald. Life is but a short chase; our game, content, Which most pursued is most compell'd to fly. And he that mounts him on the swiftest hope ghall sooner run his courser to a stand. While the poor peasant from some distant hill UIndanger'd and at ease, views all the sport iAnd seag mntat take shelter t kia cottage. **.43bbes 1IS NINE YEAR SLEEP THE RIP VAN WINKLE SLUMBER OF A PENNSYLVANIA MAN. His Wife and Three Children Have Passed Away While He Slept On-Wife Saved Him From the Knife-Long Delayed Operation May Now Be Performed. In a little farmhouse at Nicholson tunnel lies a man who bids fair to out rival Rip Van Winkle as a sleeper. This man's sleep has already lasted more than nine years, and if Michael Fernan ever awakens it will only be to find that his wife and children have succumbed to the care and anxiety in cident to his continuous and extended slumber. As Mr. Fernan appears to be as rug ged and strong as he did on the morn ing that lie began his long sleep he may surpass Rip Van Winkle's record un less the mystified physiciaus perform an operation that will awaken him at the risk of transforming him into a ravine maniac or hastening his death. Had i not been for the touching devotion ef his wife the operation would have been performed several years ago. Nine years ago last July Michael For nan was employed as a watchman at the Nicholson tunnel, on the Delaware, Lackawanna and Western railroad. He was of robust health and very industri ous, and during the alternate .weeks when he watched the railroad tunnel by night to was in the habit of spending several hours each day in cultivating the little farm that surrounded his home. One morning Fernan returned from his work and told his wife that he was feeling well, but very sleepy. He went to bed without eating any break fast. At noon one of the children came lown stairs and said, "Father won't wake up for dinner. " But the sleeper was not disturbed. When, however, Fernan did not appear at supper, his wife went to his room, where she found him stretched across the bed still dressed in his working clothes and in what appeared to be a sound and nat ural slumber. Her efforts to awaken hiln were unsuccessful, and as lie was still sleeping heavily the following morning a physician was summoned, but his attempts to awaken the sleeping man were equally fruitless. In the course of several days other physicians were called in, and after a consultation electric shocks, ice cold water baths and the trickling of ice water down the patient's spinal column were resorted to as well as the piercing of sensitive portions of his body withl pins and needles in the hope that his sleep might be broken. But the sleeper never winced, and overy shock was fol lowed with equally barren results. The physicians were mystified, and the un easiness of the family increased as he slept on week after week and month aft er month. Every morning and evening Fernan's wife would prop him up in bed and place foods that did not require masti cation within his mouth. These were swallowed passively. During this time the sleeper increased in size, and in or der to give him more uttention his wife had him remnoved to a room which measured about 12 feet square, adjoin ing the kitchen. More than 12 months passed before his wife and children were made happy by one day finding that the sleeper's eyes were again open. He conversed rationally of things that had occurred prior to tihe beginning of his long slum ber and expressed amazement when ac quainted with the facts of his sleep. He said that everything was a blank to him during his year's nap. Eight hours after awakening Fernan again complained of feeling drowsy, and a few moments later lie was again asleep and had to be removed to his bed. He was allowed to slumber in his trousers, flannel shirt and stockings, and when the weather was pleasant Mrs. Fernan would lift him to his feet and lead his halting steps through the kitchen to the side porch, where she would seat him in a big rocker while she cultivated their small farm, gath ered the fruit, harvested the hay crop or dug potatoes. Although he had no way of showing his appreciation of her kindness, Mrs. Fernan insisted that "Mike liked to sit on the porch when the sun was shining." In addition to oaring for her husband and attending to the household duties, Mrs. Fernan performed the work of a farmer with such success as to be able to provide a comnfortable living. Fourteen weary months passed before the sleeper again opened his eyes, with his mind apparently unclouded, but four hIours later Ise again suclutned to drowsiness, althouglh hlie battled desper ately against it. Anotlher year passed before he reopeined his eyes and taskl d for his wife, who had just stepped over to a ineighbor's, but when sie entstred the house, brt:athlless andt excited, her husbandt was again sleepiing. Mrs. Ferati began to fail rapidly after the sixth year's rt-ait. Nor did her misfortunes colte singly, far two of her children died. Several Monthls ago she succumlbed and died. Since theli another of her children has been taken away, but Fernau sleeps on, oblivious of his great loss. It has now become necessary to find another home for the shleper, and a medical commission appsintitd by the courts has adjudged himi a lunatic in order to gain hIis admlission to an asy lum, ansd it is probable that an opera tion will now be perktrmed upon him. The doctors disagree in their diagnoses of hIis trouble, but the most proshable explanation seems to be that it is a dropsical afflcttion that has caused wa ter on the brain. An operation was be gun during'tlhe early stages of his sltep, but as lthe patient showed marked sig.js of becoming violtntly insnue his faith ful wife objected, saying, "I'd rather have Mike with me isleep and helpless as a child than to see him a raving ma niac in as asylum."--New York Jour RRL IN THE WHITE HOUSE. Will ,Mrs. McKinley Have Some One to Assist Her In Hler Duties? While the politicians are devoting themselves to a discussion of the proba ble composition of the next cabinet 'heir wives are speculating with equal Interest on the subject of the social and domestic administration of the White House. On account of Mrs. McKinley's in validism it has been thought likely by many that she might be averse to un dertaking the personal discharge of her duties as the president's wife and might call to her assistance some friend or rel ative. Those who anticipate anything of the sort do not know Mrs. McKinley, whose infdomitable will, tact and capac ity enable her to rise superior to the physical weakness to which she is sub ject. That she has gone through the late campaign, when there was barely a cor ner in her house to whieh the public had not access, without breaking down is in itself a tribute to her powers of endurance. As for her present illness, it is probably due to exposure during the last trying weeks rather than anytthing else. At the White House receptions Mrs. McKinley will be obliged to sit in a chair, but aside from this she will conduct the affairs of that institution with the same charming grace that characterizes her administration of the smaller affairs in her present home. Mrs. McKinley is fortunate in having the companionship of Mrs. Heistand, the wife of Captain H. O. S. Heistand, who has been assisting Major McKin ley in a confidential capacity during th last few months. The Heistands art regular army people who met the Mec Kinleys in Columbus five years ago Captain Heistand was then the inspect ing officer of the Ohio national guaru. When Major McKinley retired from of fice, Captain Heistand secured leave of absence and went to Canton, where he has remained ever since, His wife has relieved Mrs. McKiildy somewhat of the labors imposed upon her by the cou stant presence of th':.oua:d. of visitors. It is shrewdly suspected that after the inauguration the Heistands will be located in Washington and will be much at the White House, The captain is an agreeable man of the world and his wife a talented and attractive wom an. -Chicago Tribune. HAS TO MAKE A LIVING. A Story of Francis Wilson and a Hawk sliaw From Yonkers. Francis Wilson says many funny things on the stage, and he seems to rec ognize a good thing when it is said. I have .therefore wondered whether he has ever told of his meeting with the chief of the Yonkers police department when that Hawkshaw was engaged in the solving (?) of the Andrus bomb mystery. It happened this way: Wilson, who has a delightful little cottage in Mount Vernon, came across to Yonkers the day after the mysterious death of Mr. Andrus and accompanied by a friend entered the police headquar ters. He was anxious to see the frag ments of the bomb and whatever else the police had found on the scene of the crime. There were a number of New York newspaper men present at the time. "Captain Mangin," said the friend, "I want to introduce you to Francis Wilson. '" "Happy to meet you, Mr. Wilson." "Mr. Wilson," said the friend, "is curious to see the evidence you have collected in the Andrus case." "Certainly, Mr. WilsQn," and Cap tain Mangin displayed the fragments of the bomb and the splintered desk under which it had expl]uded. Then an idea struck him. "Do anything in the detective way, Mr. Wilson?" "No, hardly," and the actor and his friend soon left the police station. "Now, I wonder," said the worthy Hiawkshaw, as the door closed behind his visitors, "what that Mr. Wilson wanted to see those things for. I won der if he lives here iii Yonkers. " "Why, that's Francis Wilson, the actor," suggested one of the newspaper menl present. "Actor, is lie? Well, I s'pose lie's got to make a living somehow. "-New York Commercial Advertiser. Pugs In Their Glory. The end of the century pugilist seems to be on velvet in the metropolis of this glorious country. Sporting men and all admirers of the manily art inl New York are much pleased with Commissioner Roosevelt's ideas on boxing. They re gard it as the very best thing that could have happened for the sport. 'they say there never will be any brutality in a well regulated contest. But while Coim missioner hioosevelt and Dr. Parkhurst say they are in favor of boxing contests alnd regard them C5 an ma.nly sport there are several ministers who are colndeluin ing the game inl vigorous terms. Inl spite of the division of clerical opinion, however, pugilism will have a great run ill Gotham. New clubs, formed to meet the requirelments of the lHortlo law, are springing up all over town.- New York Cor. Pittsburg Dispatch. Chinese Newspaper In Chicago. Chicago has a newspaper printed in the characters of the Chinese language. The first issue made its appearauce on Nov. 14. It is a four page sheet, pub lished by Wong Chin Foo at 253 Dear born street, and is called The Chinese News. It will be printed semimonthly. It was entered in the postoflice as sco ond class latter. The only English type used in the paper is a replication of the title and the names of the advertisers at the head of their re.pective advertise vents. A New College Building. The Ohio university located at Ath ens is to have a new four story admin istration building, to be erected at once upon the site formerly occupied by the ollega chap~eL S IPtME T 0( GRIAIN. THE JOURNEY FROM THE FIELD TO THE SEABOARD. Vow the Corn Reaches the Elevators of Chicago and Is Taken Thence by Rail and Steamer to New York and Shipped to Europe. The greatest movement of grain from the west to the Atlantic seaboard which has been seen in many years is just now taking place. Short crops of grain in India, Austria and Russia are the cause. To feed the vast populations of Europe and Asiatic countries the practically unlimited resources of our great western farms have been called upon. The re sponse has been prompt. Two unusually large crops in succession had filled every American corn bin to bursting. When the word was flashed under seas and across continents that Europe wanted corn, thousands of men went to work a the jump. The western railroads distributed cars along their lines in a hurry, and from every little elevator there poured out a flood of golden grain. The loaded cars were quickly collected, made into trains and rattled along toward Chicago under the head of "fast freights." Once in the great western metropolis, the cars were run down to the water front and into the big elevators which have railroad tracks on one side and vessel slips on the other. The grain doors were jerked open and the corn poured out into the shoots to be taken up by the conveyors and lifted to the very top of the big ele vator. There it was weighed and allow ed to slide down into bins beneath. For a few brief hours the corn was al lowed to rest and catch its breath while The details of *be rest of its long journey were arranged. The morning after it was receved at the elevator a representative of the big firm into whose possession it had passed appeared on the floor of the board of trade. Going over to the "ves sel men' s aisle," between the corn and provision pits, he tapped avessel broker on the shoulder and asked: "What's the rate for corn to Buffalo today?" "Tv.o and one-half cents." "Give you 2!,4 cents?" "Nope." "All right. " And the elevator agent walked down the line. Pid'sently he se cured an option on a 90,000 bushel Is .:*'Ab I. t. e iflIl5I 5 14 - LOADING CORN AT A CltlIAG;o ELE\VATOR. steamer for a quarter of an hour, and then hurried away. In ten minutes he had sold the whole cargo of 90,000 bush els in Now York, secured an elevator at Buffalo and provided for the train ship ment from the Buffalo elevator to Now York. Then he returned and closed the deal for chartering the steamer. In all probability the Now York firm had in ten minutes more sold the grain to a Liverpool firm and was hustling for room in an ocean going steamer to carry it over. The vessel agent, having obtained a cargo, at once began to make arrange ments for loading. First, he sent for tugs to pull his steamer up to the ele vator wharfs, and by the time it ar rived t(ero he had a crew of trimmers and tally men. Once more the corn be gan to move. It was shot up into the weighing hoppers, and from there al lowed to slide into the shoots which were trained into the vessel's hold. Down in the hold the trimmers-big, brawny fellows, with scoops-shoveled it into the farthest corners. In four hours the loading had been completed, and the dusty trimmers crawled out of the hold. The captain in the meantime had secured his sailing papers, and as soon as the hatches were battened down the hawsers were cast off and the tugs towed the steamer out into the harbor, where, with her nose pointed northward and under her own steam, she howled along as fast as her deep laden condition would allow toward the straits of Mackinac. Marine reporters at Mackinac City, at Port Huron and other points along her route telegraphed back to her owners and agents the story of her progress un til sihe finally reac'hed Buffalo. O(nce there, she (lid not have to wait nlore than half a day for an el-evator, becausc this had all betn previously arranged. The hatches were reopendl, anid once mlore the corn was lifted into an elevator. Steam shovels and fast traveling con veyers make this process marvelously trapid. The corn is cot allowed to rest; in the elevators very long, for storage is valu able just at this time, and as soon as it can be weighed it is run down on the other side and again takes the form of carloads. Eight long trains of 20 ears each the cargo makes, for while the hold of the steamer has a capacity of 90,000 bushels a car will cootain only 50 bhush ols. As fast as these trains are made up they are rushed down through New York state by any one of the half dozen lines which connect Buffalo with New York city. At the New York elevator the lift ing and weighing process is again re peated, and in a short time the grain is poured into the capacious hold of a great ocean freighter and i. being carried out through the Narrows toward Europe. At Liverpool there is another change, and in the course of a fetw \ .ks tthe corn which was raised in Kansas (.r M is souri is being distributed to a foreign people on the other side of the earth. C. T. BAxToIL THE SPORTING WORLD. Cycling on public streets and roads in Saxony is subject to minute and care fully enforced police regulations, which in many places prohibit altogether the use of brakeless machines. The roads, with but few exceptions, are perfect, and wheeling is smooth and easy, but on account of rainy weather, which prevails most of the year, wheel guards for wet days are indispensable. Every machine must, in the first place, have an open plate or shield af fixed to the brake rod or handle bar and be provided with a spring lid, on which is engraved in clear lettering the name, profession or rank and residence of the rider. In lieu of this the rider's card and address attached to the handle bar would comply with the law and would temporarily answer every requirement. The alarm bell is, of course, demand ed everywhere. The law requires that the lamp be rather highly placed on the wheel and be kept lighted from within half an hour after sunset to half an hour before sunrise; furthermore, that the light must shine through uncolored glass. Each bicycle must be provided with an easily managed brake, operat ing quickly and powerfully. Cycling on roads exclusively intended for pedes trians or on the elevated footpaths and highways is strictly prohibited. Two bicyclers may ride side by side when it can be done without blocking the thor oughfare or annoying other riders or ve hicles, otherwise single file is the rule. More than two machines abreast are not permitted undel any circumstances. When meeting other bicycles or over taking them, or when approaching pas sages of the road where it is not possible to see a long distance, or when reaching a steep descent, the cycler is obliged to give frequent signals with his bell as a matter of strict precaution in avoiding collisions. Moderate speed must be maintained at all times. Scorching is forbidden on all highways. At very steep down grades the cycler must dis mount and guide his wheel until the de scent is passed before remounting. New York Herald. European Baseball Trips. Tom Brown, the center fielder of the Washingtons, does not believe in Euro pean baseball trips. "I believe,'' said he recently, "that the now abandoned European trip of the Baltimore players would have proved a physical handicap to them when they played the next champion ship season. I was abroad with the Spalding baseball tourists in 1888 and 1889. We combined ball playing with pleasure, and I tell you the combination doesn't mix. Ball players must lead the steady, systematic life of an athlete when they are playing ball. On that globe trotting tour of 1888 and 1889 the boys lived pretty high, but were obliged to get out and play ball. It was pretty tough for some of us. We didu't feel like playing ball, but were obliged to don a uniform alnd scamper around the field when we should have been resting ourselves after a howling good time with the boys. It was an awful strain, and when we landed in New York early in the spring the majority of us felt stale, all gone, exhausted, and I then began to regret that I had taken the trip. After six months of active work on the diamond a player needs rest for the other six months. "-Exchange. Big Chess Match In America. All of the big chess players who par ticipated in the recent tournaments in Nuremberg and Budapest have promised to conco to the United States to take part in a tournament. It only remains to raise the necessary prizes. All desire that there should be a double round, playing portions of the match in differ out cities. England in the forthcoming match will be represented by nearly the same team as she was before. Mr. Pillsbury will play for the United States. He says that if Showalter challenges him he will aecrept, but that it would not be wise for hiu to challenge Showalter. Unlucky British Boxers. This has certainly been a very unfor tunate year for the English sporting men, who always had the opinion that the only champion boxers in the world were in England. The sporting men of this country, however, were just as proud of our American boxers as the Englishmen were of theirs, and at the present time it can be easily discovered where the genuine champion boxers are located. Every one of the British box ors, with two exceptions-Billy Plim smer and Pedlar Palmer-has been de feated by American boxers, and the sports over there are nearly heartbroken. -New York World. Anson's Colts oi the Gridiron. JimSnmy Ryan, who has been playing in the outfield with the Cihicago baseball teami for over 11 years, says that An son's Colts would make a good football team, and that the old man should teach them tihe game. Ryan's make up of the teal is ts follows: Anson, celnter; v erett and Lange, guards; Decker and i Thornton, tackles; Terry and Donolhue, cnds; (;ritil:h, quarter back; Kittridge 5and Pfelter, half backs; Dahlen, full back; McCormick, Friend and Briggs, substitutce. Ryan is only willing to be the referee.-Exchange. Sporting Notes. The annual meeting of the Pennsyl vania division L. A. W. will be held on Dec. 14. Edmund Heard, who plays left end on the Hiarvard freshmen football team, has been elected captain The champion "bag" for stag shoot ing in Scotland this year fell to Lord Tweedumouth, who scored 157 head. George J. Roll of Blue Island, Ills., won the Du Pont live bird trophy at Bal timore recently by killing 48 out of 60 birds. Columbia college has extended an in vitation to Yale, Harvard and Pennsyl vania to meet in a gun and golf compe tition. A GREAT DISCOVERY. The Primeval Man Lost Two Teeth, but Found a Delight. "Gosh, but I'm hungry I" complained the Primeval Man in his rude, unoul' tured way as he thoughtfully scratched his back against a gigantic palm and gazed eagerly about In search of some thing to eat. "Just my darn luck not to have brains enough to invent gun powder," he grumbled, continuing his soliloquy. "Why, if I had, blow me if I couldn't kill a mammoth and get enough to eat once anyway. But you," he shook his club contemptuously, "I can't even bowl over a megatherium with you. Golly, I am hungry! Wisht a mylodon would come meandering by. I wouldn't do a thing to him, I wouldn't! Hello, here comes a cave bear! Guess I'd better light out before he sees me. Mebbe he's hungry too. Guess I'll am ble down to the seashore. P'r'aps I can knock over a glyptodon or two down there. "Well, what's this?" queried the Primeval Man, picking up a rough, ob long object, probably washed up on the beach by the last storm. "Wonder if it's good to eat?" Thereupon he broke two teeth trying to bite into it and flung it angrily against t rock, where it cracked open. "Blest if it ain't got a kernel inside it after all!" soliloquized the Primeval Man, again picking it up. "Bahl You look sick, you dol" he con tinued, gazing with disgust at his find. "And you're only a mouthful, but I suppose you're better than nothing un less you make me sick, blast youl" "Well, here goes," and the Primeval Man screwed up his eyes and gulped down the mouthful. The next instant a quiver of delight shot through his form, the wrinkles smoothed out of his fore head, his widely opened eyes beamed with pleasure, his mouth expanded into a blissful smile, his hands ecstatically clasped his stomach and a long drawn sigh of joy and contentment expanded his peaceful breast. The first oyster had been tasted. Alex Ricketts in Truth. A Divorce Called Off. The courtroom was in tears. Even the hardened attendants wept. The jury sniffled and turned their eyes up to the ceiling, the judge winked as if the effort to suppress a sob was a des p3rate one, and the crowd of visitors boo-hooed without restraint. The case between Griggs and Griggs was suddenly called off. And what was the cause of all these sighs and tears of reconciliation and joy after such a bit ter and scandalous feud? Ah, a little mite in the fair plaintiff's arms-a tiny little idol of two lives arrayed in his very finest of garments and brought there for the purpose of touching the hearts of the jury-had been awarded into the custody of the defendant. There was a hurried consultation, and before the court realized it the con testants had their arms about each other, announcing to the court and jury, as well as the world, the glad tidings that rather than to suffer separation from the little object of their combined adora tions they had kissed and made up. Ring out, ye bells, the glad news to the haut ton world! And so, for the first time in the history of the world, perhaps, a $10,000 French poodle has been found to be good for something. New York Sunday Journal. Diplomatic Indeed. He had begged her to be his, and she had treated the request in a manner that suggested frivolity. "Why do you use rat trap pedals?" he reproachfully asked her as she pre pared to mount her bicycle. "Why shouldn't I?" she exclaimed. "I should tllink, " he softly murmured as he gazed at her dainty feet, "that mouse traps would be amply large." She was his from that moment.-Ex change. Proof. "That man Owens is a genius," said the man who occupies the fourth story back room. "I wish you could make me believe it," said the landlady gloomily. "I can. Doesn't he owe you for three months' board?"--Yonkers Statesman. So Deuced Clevah. Harry-Great trick young Sapperly played at the horse show? Chawley-And that was? Harry-Entered a Shetland pony, y'know. Fed him on brandied mince pie and took the blue ribbon for pie balled ponies.-New York Evening Journal. Waiting For Them. Bobby-Petticoats ain't in it. Why don't yer git into trousis, Jimmy? Jimmy-Cos me big brudders grows ser slow. See?-Chips. A Match For Him. "I am a plain man, " said Bloughly, "and I believe in being practical. I love you, and I want you to be my wife." "Well," replied the fair one, "how much are yXa worth2"-Philadrlpi.t Amerioa .