Martinsburg independent. [volume], July 03, 1886, Image 2

About Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900

Image provided by: West Virginia University

                
-MARTINSBURG INDEPENDENT
Katnrtlay. July :t, 1886.
numerous.
Some women swallow flattery ns
babies swallow buttons, without any
jdea of the troublo that may follow.
♦Always pay as you go,’ said an
old man to his nephew. ‘But uncle;
suppose I have nothing to pay with.'
<rThen don’t go.’
‘ThanK Ilcaven !’ exclaimed a fond
father as he paced the floor at mid
night with his howling heir—‘thank
Ilcaven 3-011 are not twins.’
‘Ma, get down on your hands and
knees 11 minute, please.’ ‘What on
earth shall I do that for, pet?’
‘Cause I want to draw an elephant.’
‘A3', there’s the rub!’ exclaimed
the yonug lady who was asked by
her impecunious lover if she could
do the washing in case 11103- got mar
ried.
‘IIow was your son when you heard
from him last ?’ ‘He wrote me that
lie was so ill that he could neither
sit nor stand,’ ‘Then if he tells the
truth he must lie.’
Boggs—‘I see that blind people
at6 educated now by means of raised
letters.’ Fogg—‘That’s nothing Why
bank cashiers arc educated by means
of raised cheeks.’
We are glad to hear there is a
Xife Saving Bureau’in this country.
When a man gets up in the dark and
wrestles with a rocking chair, that
kind of bureau would be a good piece
of furniture to have in the room.
‘Our forefathers,’ said Tupper,
‘had clocks to put on the outside of
churches that they might not be too
late in getting to service, we put
the clocks inside of the churches
least we be too late in getting out.’
The family physician asked the
clergyman satirically how the patri
archs came to live so long. “Be
cause they took no physics,’ said the
minister.
The Salvation Army of Washing
ton lias converted a dude. He can
already pronounce the letter B and
next week will venture forth for the
first time without a cane.
\u editor intimates: ‘Persons
sendinc is puerns will please to write
on i , ' ■ ide of the sheet, and
use v.bd paper, so that if the article
is not accepted we may use the op
pisite side of the paper, and thus
good may come of the poem.’
1'atrick—An lwat dul Moses iver
do ? Minister—Hu—why, lie lifted
up the serpent in the wilderness, and
—F.—An’ be labors, an’ didn’t St.
Patrick foire that same spalpeen of
a sclinake out av ould Oireland ?
An Irishman with a heavy bundle
on his shoulder, riding on the front
of a horse car, was asked why he did
not set his bundle on the platform.
He replied : ‘l>e jabbers, the horses
have enough to drag me. I’ll carry
the bundle.’ ,
Editor,s Wife—John, there’s a
burglar in the house. Editor—I
know it; but keep still; I’ll get up
as soon as he goes. E. AV.—AVhat’s
the good then? E.—What’s the
good ? AVhy great Peter ! I'll get a
a scoop on the other papers.
Teacher—Miss Sinniflo, please
parse the sentence, Adolphus mar
ried Caroline.’ Miss S.—‘Well,
‘Adolphus’ is a noun, because it is
the name of a thing,‘married’ is a
conjunction, because it joins Adol
phus and Caroline, and ‘Caroline’ is
verb, ’cause it governs the noun.
‘What do they do when they in
stall a minister?’ inquired a small
boy. ‘Do they put him in a stall
and feed him! ‘Not a bit,’ said his
father ; ‘they harness him to a church
and expect him to draw it alone.’
‘Said a young man, the other even
ing : ‘Is it etiquette, in writing to a
young married woman, whom you
have known well, to call her ‘my
darling pet ?’ My dear Bir, it is not
a question of etiquette, but of ath
liticp. It depends how far you can
distance her husband in a mile.
Alarv had a little doll,
(There’s nothing strange in that,)
Its wool was white, like other dolls,
Its little nose was flat,
lti cheeks were red as roses are,
Its eyes the kind that shut,
Its dress pinned on—it seemed, iu short,
A cerumen dolly—
But—
When round its dainty waist she felt,
And t niched a hidden spring,
It warbled beneath its belt;
‘ I’m sawdust when l sing.”
THE EQU ITABLE LITE ASSOCIATION,
OF WEST VIRGINIA.
PRINCIPA L OFFICE, MarllnuburK.
Corner Marlin A Oueeu streets.
J. Nelson Wihnkr, Fres’t, £■ D. Dodi>, Sccr'y. J. X. Thatcher, Treas’r.
John Fitz, Viee-l'res’t. F, N. MV£J*8t Med. Kxarn’r. If. H. Whitlock. Gen. Agent
-- o
Has the ability to pay maximum claim?.
Plan of Insuranco.
1. ONTlNE ENDOWMENT.—Policv matures in JOr r 15 years, as the applioitit tony
elect, or at death if prior. On this plnn you * *li v»* 10 win.”
2. c RDINARV LIFE — At very low rates. Policy na'ure.j >it death.
Reserve Funds a-cumulated on both plans and improved, t <t£ percent tut, being it vest
ed in solvent securities.
For terms to Agents, Tabulated Explanation, Circulars, etc., addr..-s
IS. II WHITLOCK,
aug.29,’85 General Agent
Martirishurjr, W. Va.
i -
Corn Planter, with Fertilizer Attachment,
is proncu'ico l by thousands of farmers, who are using them, to he tin b s; ow in us«'
Every farmer without one, should purchase one, They . i; r merits.
OUIt CORK FERTILIZER will also give entire satisfaction. TRY IT.
Brown Waffon®9
Roots, tiarshciir, Single and Double Sbo . el Prows.
Kissell'a Chilled and Rough and Ready Plows,
With all the Latest Improved
Farm iny Imp l am ants
A n d J hi ch < n ary.
PURE FINE GROUND I/ME FLUSTER
J. N THATCHER,
West Martin Struct. fllisrUitsl* ^ V
COLUMBUS BUGGY COMPANY,
COLUMBUS, OHIO.
Manufacturers of Strictly
FIRST-CLASS BUGGIES,
PHOTONS, SURREYS,
AND CARRIAGES.
(AN EXACT VIEW OF OUR FACTORY).
Tho Justly CELEBRATED BREWSTER Cross-Spring
SIDE-BAR wo make our Great Specialty. Wo build Only One
Grade of work, and that of THE BEST in Quality and
Style. We do not make tho Lowest-Priced Vehicles, but claim
that ours are tho CHEAPEST IN THE WORLD, when
Quality is Considered. We use tho FINEST MATE
RIAL obtainable, employ only EXPERT and COMPETENT
MECHANICS, and from time to tirno adopt all really Valu
able Improvements that offer, and endeavor to conform to the
Latest Styles. To insuro the best and most uniform results,
Wo Now Manufacture Our Own Wheels from Finest
Timber (sawed by our own mills) that can be obtained from the
hills of Southern Ohio—famous as the Second Growth Hickory
District. Wo have tho LARGEST and MOST COMPLETE
FACTORY In the WORLD for tho manufacture of Light Vehicles.
-- -= OTJ IR, ■=^-*
Facilities, Machinery and Capital Are Unsurpassed,
Which enables us to furnish the Best and Finest Vehicles
at prices within the reach of alL
Be sure and examine the name plate and see that COLUMBUb
BUGGY CO. is thereon, for, many u“P^nci>|ed parties are offering
inferior buggies, claiming them to be COLUMBUb BUGGIBS,
thus imposing on the public and us. The superior reputation of
our vehicles makes such imPosition possible and profitable.
Address us for Catalogue and Prices, and wo will send name of nearest Dealer.
COLUMBUS BUGGY COMPANY.
June 6,5 'g
A QU1NZEL,
BAKER A CONFECTIONER
QUEEN STREET.
; Next to Wisror b’a Grocery Store
xcxe-o rba tat.
SODA WATER. C A LIES AND
FRESH BREAD
alway* on hand.
Will deliver Fresh fir* a/5
Cakes every afternoon.
'*•- All order* left at tbe -Rore
promptly f 'led.
April 4 —ly
THE
General Ofllec, Illon, N. Y.
New York Oillee, 283 Broadway.
Buying Agents Wanted.
Nov, IS, 1884.
.A.. 3VH- GILBERT,
DRUGGIST AND APOTHECARY.
' CORNER QUEEN & RACE STS.,
Martixsburg, W. Va.
Dealer in pure drugs,
MEDICINES, CHEMICALS,
PATENT MEDICINES, DYE STUFFS,
A fine line Of COMHS; HAIR, CLOTH,
TOOTH nnd NAIL BRUSHES,
TOILET POWDERS, CHAMOIS SKINS,
SHOULDER BRACES, FINE SOAPS,
FINE PERFUMERY,
GEEMAN COLOGNE'S,
All of which we sell at lowest prices.
GILBERT'S SELECT FRUIT FLAVORS,
GILBERT’S INSECT POW DERS.
j£-£)' Phy sicians’ Prescriptions neatly and
accurately pr< pared at all hours.
uiy 9ili ly A M. GILBERT.
rjl HE PLACE TO PURCHABI
firm quality of Grocer!*#, Ac, ai ow*st figure# in t t
the (store of
JAMES M. HOMRICH,
Queen Btreei, one door north of American Hon#
MARTINSBUivG, WEST VIRGINIA
—HI8 STOCK OF—
GROCERIES, QUEENSWAICL
TOBACCO and CIGARS,
—ALSO—
CONFECTIONERIES.GANDll.'ii,
AND FRUITS
of all k ind# cannot 1 e e>cccd. Ilia nttl « i Mill,
Tens Mole##*#, Ac., cc ua t rl*§ the In tl * n »ilut,
dr73 JAB.MJHOMRICH.
-mmm
__jsB /886 kl#HA
Will b. milM FREE to .11 applicant. and to oa.tom.r. nl
laat J«at without urdertug It. It eontaln, about JHpVb
•00 lUm.tratioM, prlot. JVa lil F
direction, for r.lantlngnll carlatla, of VEOETAUl.r.
and FLOWER SEEDS, BCLHS, ate. iBT.luahle
to all. ••peelall; to Market Gardeners. Send for It.
D. M. FERRY A CO., Detroit, Mlchlgo
dec.l 9-26t
Important.
W'heu you visi or leave New York City,
save baggage expressage and carriage hire
and stop at the Graud Union Hotel, oppo
site Grand Central Depot. epant rooms fit
ted up at a cost of one million dollars, re
duced to $1 and upwards per day. Euro
pean plan. Eleva-tor Restaurant supplied
with the best. Horse cars, stages and ele
vated railroad to all depots Families can
live for less money at the Grand Union Ho
tel than at any other first-class hotel in the
city.
Try The Independent
One Year.
HJulUJER’S
I Carriage Ikjanufacto'.ry,
• o. 90 W. King St., JEaninsburg, W, Va.
I manufacture the Salladee rrlpif SjS?i££ Ougqieg, and ell other style r Bug
gies, Jump Seats, Pheatona, Jaggers, Ac. All work put up of the best materials and work 1
msns.tlp, and warranted. . sell no cheap Cincinnati Shoddt Work. Persons d.-s:rint to.
„■ yFw ’.T and‘nHeesr **’ Wi" 6aVe m°ney b-V **ood article Call and examine,
' ' f apr3-80.
The Old Reliable Furniture Rouse. I
King St, Hall—Public* Square, 1
milK LARGEST AM* BEST SELECTED STOCK OF FURNITURE in Martinaburg, I
l t.oth handmade and eastern Furniture, which will enable persons to select exactly what I
they want Having tiade arrangements with eastern firms which will enable me to sel5 I
cheaper than any other house in the city 1 defy competition. Keep constantly on hand: I
Marble-Top Chamber Suits, I
’, , Suits, Solid-Top Chamber Suits, Lounges, Sideboards, Bedsteads, Bureaus I
. okcases, Washstands, Tables, Desks, Rockers, Chairs, Marble-Top Tables, " ■
Mitrors, all styles; Woven Wire Mattresses. 1 ■
-ALSO AGENT TOR THE ITHACA ORGAN CO— I
Manufacturers of ibebest Organ made. These organs have a reputation second to none ■
are made in the beet and * .*.si durable style or workmanship; surpasses all others in sweet - I
ness of ton*, and are .■.>:•! at tue lowest possible prices. H
/ Keep a Number fl
Constantly on band, and would say to all in want of a good instrumen , R and exam-. II
iso tbt Ithaca Otgu • • yot irchast. 1 am sure you wiR buy no >. : er. }■
Funeral-; ■rvei **>t otke, (H
marl l-ly. A. KOGLESCHATZ, Maitinsbiiig, W. V- H
•GC?3E3CaS3 1E3LO O®IK 1T-L I
Broadcast Hand Seed Sower, 1
JX'OTl SC r*V X T1'Q- ■
WHEAT, HIE, BUCKWHEAT fl
■RICE, FLAN, OATS, [H
(I UA > M O,
ll " ill vow irotii 4 to 8 icres per h-ur ut a. HI
••’.I',-''”;ominotj v>:ikit■ ,r funic, utiti 27 to ISteetata
round. it i.* th«* Fes' >•».mu* pvor invent- Hi
v'Vn ■(! tor the purpose, ;\:..d t'auuld l>e i t ilie
ij&jl mnasef every I tuner. PRICrt ONLY $JL.
y , 1 \sk tour dealer or it. Si nd for Circular
MAJtltFACTl’BSB BV
tgjjpTho Goshen Sweeper A Wringer Co.
*o5 Gra Goshen, Inch flH
tearaa fa sra p. THE FARM AND CARDEN B
Vbj LIS jB Kg] bH Is a handsomely-printed monthly paper, wltll IBbBI
ESI c3 ORIGINAL ILLUSTRATIONS, and is a homelike, sen- 1111
■I MHb fiM •**«&'+ Kg eible. and ACOUltATK rural journal. ^B
1919 Jr*S INTERESTING CORRESPONDENCE B
{^^■mmbbbbbiBBBMMMand valuable Information from every State In B
—Union, but no nonsense or Mtnlen ideas. It
i _ __Is an authority on FRUITS and VEGETABLES. Con
EWBM BS1M1 ggSLra- ESSSSSfek tarns the 1IKST Poultry im«es for those who
e!?®8*1 f^T®1 M BTIS rtiisochlcker IBB
■ i b b b b| B
‘<k# i DT Mil S m terestfand B
_p 1 e a a e
wwMi-»Yr,y. vrwria»;a.iWP|r^ip^aBafc ■ Uvim. Mine ’ ^BB
, „ of every
ten trial subscribers become permanent readerw,
■M qie their Influence to sendmprs name* Karo?'. B
ence having taught us this, we feel certain.that u wmj
pay ns to make A I.IHKlt A I, OFFKItto lmluceevery t^^B
tilopnper. 3 MONTHS tr.al IOo. ■
if'^ly^^t^carioMt1;: and y^^ll'cerialn.y he agreekhiy _ B
dSritouie FARM AND GARDEN, '001 _H
___ _ ■ ■ ■ a aa I'm Just Going Pown to the Gate.
^fli|K «afi8 nfinBIS AO Handful of Kuril,. Wait 'till the Mm
«BB wl Mis Clouds IU.ll By. I'll Meet Her
i«!»Sr-!®59 HjW5 IF D 3 ■A I 1 H Bain When the Sun Goes Down. A Knot
I B <sa I VkmSi of Blue and Gray. Mary's Gone. MM
BB .... |, With a toon. Sweet Violet* Mf|Q
BB Bridget Uonaghue. I.Utle Wife,
BHB B „ _ „ m - -a * Nellie. Bold Melntlres Only a ^^B
bbH 0AIS m
■ BALLAUO as ms
HMaHBBm Ian's Goat. Warrior Bold. WeSat
hv the Klver. Yon and L You Will B|lg|
ONLY 20 CTS.fe^«^« Bi
Bllppen,. &2Z&2?£gt£SZ Hlyn,My VpretlyyBed' Bose.' 'ill’Kernemher Yoi^I-ove, in Myi b9|
sssr w»:JfflSS s:«. skMSiar ■
Take Ymi Home Again, Katlideen. Old-FjUttuonM Homesieea. llln„ Alsatian Mountain* MM
bs&ssk■
«nerYfoorA (SjMIgjj &££ «« S|
Mountain Bong. In -irvehna'* Forgiveanil Forget. All the Trimbles You Have IMjM
liT Thl^^kUprmted'on « -gS »ug Order a copy now Add re* ■gg
^AMERICAN PUBLISHING CO.. 17 North Tenth St.. Philadelphia. Penn’a. jp
TsT FW FIRM ^B
J. H. MILLER & SONS*
Wou je,it i.M an .on l ev I.) the FARMERS of Berkeley and adjoining untiet^HB
that t!ii"-T ■ ■ ■ liiniL’H Mr. u. Campbell Jauuey’s Warehouse and are now belter prep*.' ->
to bu
AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS, ■
F-iTi IZ-Its and MCE US Will pay b |ecial attention to B^|
thf lnanllf„,.. „ j N V k Y ’ S ST WDARD FERTILIZER and NOVA SCOTIA PUfl|
1 TKN ' We re ..a 'or •' - tndeh ker Wagon Superior Drill Adriance Mowers, Malt^^B
Plows «ud C'tDivators vt v arebIio agents for the HBR
S I I lPIENSBUBG BUGGIES) ^B
A lull stock of n bra cite and Rituminous Coat, and Split Woo l always on band at
lowest Market. Trices. Give us a call. Very Respectfully,
.XX.MIIjIiBZLct) SONS.
I Headquarter. ! r BINDER TWINE. tr.eb 2T 8m