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•~m 4 •A •site®® tp ¥?r, mm a"' RYAN. On Saturday last a corporation was formed here to be known as tbe Ryan Farmers' Co-operative Lumber Co. Tbe capital stock of tbe new concern will be 95,000, all of which has been subscribed in shares of ten dollars each. The com pany will handle lumber, coal, feed, grain, etc., and they expect to secure these articles at more reasonable (trices than they have been paying In the past, The officers elected by the new concern are as follows: John Biley, president John Dolphin, treasurer Chas. Swin dell, secretary and manager directors— W. B. Bobinson, C. C. Barry, 1'. F. Mc Elliott, John Biley. L. Freeman, ChBS. Swindell, Wm. Whitnell. Kev. J. Toomey of Dubuque was the guest of Bev. P. H. Byan Wednesday. John McCusker Jr. returned Saturday from Dixon, 111., where he has been at tending college. David Cbrystal recently purchased the quarter section just east of town, owned by J. Dunlap. Newman acquet bought a farm last week, consisting of 80 aeres situated •oath of Coggon. The price paid was •55 per acre. ii'ii LAMONT. D. M. Whitney is getting better. Ur. Emmert is suffering from a fall which he had on Jan. 13. John Fenberthy goes to Waterloo to day to begin work for Smith, Lickty & Hiliman. Mrs. J. W. Fenberthy goes to New Hampton today to visit the home of her mother. J. W. Fenberty has stored hiB goodB in Mrs. Benedict's house. A Bon WBB born to Chas. Fluacher and wife on Jan. 18. On Jan. 9,1902, Byron Colton of La mont and Mies Laura Pel ley, of Straw berry Point were married. Seventy-three frlendB assembled at tbe Dave Bale farm home to help them celebrate their fifth wedding anniver sary Jan. 13. Miss Myrl Bich celebrated her four teenth birtbday, Jan. 13, by entertain ing her many schoolmates. Miss Vera Flancner celebrated her teeth birthday, Jan. 13, by entertaining eighteen little friends. C. Cherry, C. Cole and Frank Svoboda transacted business in Dubuque laBt week. 1 Fifty-two uninvited gueBts went to the Si Cole farm houBe, Jan. 10, to sur prise that family. Mrs. Benedict spent Thursday, Fri day, and Saturday in Lamont. S. Z, Welch bought the Jesse Clen denen residence last week. G. F. Durham transacted business in Dubuque Jan. 16 and 17. Jesse Clendenen and wife will move on to their farm this spring. Mrs. Vandenburg went to, Mitchell, S. D., Jan. 14. Miss May Oandenburg departed for New Hampton, Jan. 14. Mrs. W. Field, of Oelwein visited La mont'friends last week. The Lamont Woman's Club will meet with Mrs. Josephine Blackburn Friday afternoon. Jan. 24. The M. E. Ladies' Aid serve a chick' en-pie dinner on Main street today. 'SIM DELHI. MISB Mayme Toomer viBlted frlendB at Marlon last week. Bev. Salisbury was in Epwerth Mon day. E. B. Stone went to Minneapolis Tuesday to attend a lumbermans con vention, returning Friday. Mr. and Mrs. E. B. Johnson are re joicing over the arrival of a young son, born Sunday Jan. 12. A. A. House is visiting his Bister, Mrs Addle Knight at Miiford. Rev. Salisbury assisted Bev. Taylor in revival work at Sand Creek last week. Dr. Soper WBB in town professionally Saturday. Mrs. C. E. Harris returned from Minneapolis Friday. CbaB. Doolittle was down from Gree ley Friday. MrB. Lawrence Stack, of Ft. Dodge, is visiting relatives in town. Mrs. Blake Delano is seriously ill. The M. E. Aid supper and sale Wed nesday evening was well attended, and all articleB found ready Bale. MesdameB White and Wragg were shopping in Manchester Wednesday. Mr. and Mrs. A. J. Beeder, of Earl ville, attended the Fair Wednesday evening. Mr. and Mrs. Ed. Arnold, of North Fork, visited relativeB in town Satur day. Bev. Salisbury enjoyed a visit recently from his brother who hBS just returned from California. Mr. and Mrs. Owen McElmeel mourn the loss of their little one, four days old. Messrs. Blanchard, Swinburne and Jakelin went to Colesburg Thursday night to install tbe officers of the I. O, O. F. Lodge. f" ,v* Mrs. McKee has returned to Delhi to live with her daughter, Mrs. D. S. Cor bin. Mr. and Mrs. John Cruise Jr., of Earl ville, were Sunday visitors at the Beal home, Mrs. Ben McKea is visiting friends here. She will leave in a few days for her home in Texas. Mr. and Mrs. E. H. Blanchard and Mr. and Mrs. J. W. Swinburne attended a party at James Bishop's in Milo town ship Friday evening. The Loyal Temperance Legion gave an excellent program Sunday evening at the M. E. church to a full house. HARTWICK, A. Miester and James South were in Manchester Saturday. Mr. John Miester has been on tie sick list. Frank Furman has gone to work for Mr. South of Earlville in his photograph gallery. Orman Hartman has gone to Marion to visit his aunt and grandmother. The Delhi Creamery is putting up ice from the river thiB week. Amos Dance was in Delhi Saturday. James Smith and A Miester left for/ Minnesota Tuesday to buy land. Chas Ellison was in town Tuesday. Geo. Dunham hao come ,home fro school to visit a few days. Geo. Davis and, John I|ariman an •"WP® jfe 141 putting up ice this week. Mr. and Mrs. S. Shaw burled their child at Delhi last Sunday. John Meister was a Cedar BapidB business visitor Wednesday. The pupils of the llartwick school will hold a basket social Friday even ing, January 31. Girls bring your bas kets. HOPKINTON. Miss Emma ltichardson is visiting at tte home of W. B. ltichardson in Cog gon. J. J. Belknap and wite of Golden were guests over Sunday at the home of J. M. Johnson in this place. tained a large number of and many old friends. J. M. Davis came down from Creeco Monday evening and meta number of old friends, going to Manchester Tues day to attend tbe annual meeting of the llolliBter Lumber Co.—Leader. DYERSVILLE. Casper KjoBterman was a Clipper passenger to Dubuque Monday morn ing, where he transacted business in the court house. Frank llubly of Hickory Valley, CBlled on friends and transacted busi ness in this cits last Saturday. Gerhard Schnieders, the well known carpenter and contractor ol' Petersburg, was in the city Wednesday visiting rel atives and frlendB and looking after business matters. Henry C. Kramer, of Petersburg, was in town last Saturday calling on friends. Mrs. Barney VaBke, of New Vienna, was in town Tuesday morning and from here she made a business trip to Dubuque. Supervisor Tom Lindsay, of Man chester, was in town Tuesday calling on friends —News Letter. STRAWBERRY POINT. Mrs. Dan Nace who was called to WebBter City some time ago, by the serious illness of her nephew, returned home Monday, Mr. Nace meeting her at Manchester. Mrs. Nace's nephew waB much improved when she left Webster City. We are glad to report that Mrs. Myra Pollard who has been seriously ill for some days, at the home of Mr. and Mrr, F. Davis is some better. The firm of Smith & Lang, who have been engaged in the butcher business here for Beveral years past, has been dissolved this week, Mr. Smith pur chasing Mr. Lang's interest in the Bame Geo. II. Parker will hold a public sale at bis farm five miles southeast of this place on Tuesday January 28. Mr. Parker has decided to quit farming and will go to California some time next fall where they will make their future home.—Mail Press. EARLVILLE. J* J. C. Nieman went to Chicago with a car of horses on Tuesday. Miss Ida South left for Dubuque Wednesday to take up a business course in BaylesB College. Bev. Paxton went to Wahpeton, S. D, to remain for some time. He left here Thursday morning. Mr. and Mrs Henry Millen returned from a visit to Manchester, Wednesday morning. Mr. Ed Bisgrove went to Chicago Tuesday with a car of stock. Mr. and Mrs. W III Taylor drove to Manchester Thursday, C. M. Laxon and H. G. Millen bad business in Manchester Wednesday. Twenty-six ladies from the Congrega tionalMissionary Society attended missionary tea given by the A1 moral society at tbe home of Mrs. John Cruise on Tuesday afternoon. The Eastern Star are preparing to produce another play in tbe near future. If the prospective drama is as success ful aa last years performance warrants, the worthy organization will have some thing to be proud of indeed. On Wednesday, at his home in Elgin Iowa occurred the death of Mr. G. Bush, long a resident and business man of this town, and a respected citizen, He WBB buried here on Friday, the fun eral Bermon being held in the Id. E church, Bev. Soper preaching tbe sermon. Mr. Bush leaves a wife and daughter, a father and two brothers to mourn his loss. Tney have the Bym pathyof the entire community in their bereavement. Tbe Odd FellowB will give a ball and banquet to their frlendB on next Wed nesday night. Tbe banquet will be held in the I. O. O. F. hall and the ball will take place in the Town Hall im mediately after. Carroll Parker and Ralph Richard Bon are having the meaBleB. Mies Alice Eaton, of Manchester, at tended the Teachers' association here Saturday. Tbe MisBes Howartb, of Elizabeth, 111., are gueBts of MrB. Curtis Kde, their sister. Mrs. Alec Prentice entertained her sister Miss Margaret Lindsay, of Man chester, on Saturday. Owing to Rev. Paxton's absence, on Sunday morning and evening tbe churches held union services in tbe M. E. church. Mr. C. B. Bush of De Kalb, III., and Mrs. Shumway of Cresco accompanied Mrs. G. H. Bush here to attend the bur ial of the late Mr. Guilford Bush, and remained over Sunday in town. A number of teachers from all parts of the county were in attendance at the Delaware County Teachers' Association held here on Saturday. The most prominent feature of'the day's program was an addresB by Rev. De Bra, of Ep worth Seminary on "1b Knowledge Power?" Some excellent papers were read and lively discussions indulged in. The whole program was very interest ing and instructive. Miss Ida Little spent Sunday in Man chester. GREELEY. Ed Correll was in Manchester on Tuesday. Mrs. Frank Kleckner and son Newt, were In Manchester Tuesday. Wra. Hockaday was in the county Mr. and Mrs. L. Wells who have been visiting In Manchester for the past I three weeks, are again at home. Glen Baker came home Friday, and left again on Monday for Omaha, where he will remain for a few days. Wm. Barr entertained a number of his young friends at hiB new home in North Greeley last evening. Ail report a very enjoyable evening. Last Thursday evening Mr. and Mrs. N. Griffith were most completely and pleasantly surprised by a large numb of their friends, and a very pleasant evening spent. Nate surely should keep "up to snuff'' better than letting his friends impose on him like that. Mr. and Mrs A. 11. llolbert enter their friends 11 o'clock a Mrs. Jabn Slick of Worthington, vis- Tuesday evening. At ited her aunt, Mrs. W. L. Campbell the dainty supper was served. The host first of the week. I and hostess had arranged music, games John Campbell was over from Cog-1 and recitations which made the hours gon this week for a visit with relatives ouly too swiftly go, and when the guests at last reluctantly departed, it was with a very warm spot in their hearts for Mr. and Mrs. A. B. llolbert—Home Press. LPETERSBURG. Pete Goetzinge, of Luxumburg was noticed here last Sunday. Harney Peters spent Sunday at horn*. Our creamery company hauled their supply of ice last Monday and Tues day. Anton Thole and Henry Ovel hauled ice for Fred ltubly laBt Wednesday. MfiBsrs. John Domeyer and John Lineweber attended the entertainment at New Vienna last Tuesday. Messrs. George Kramer and Henry WrerdeholT r., had business in Dyere vllle last Wednesday. Mr. llenrv Koelker marketed his hog rop la-t Wednesday for which lie re ceived the top price. We are sorry to report that Mr. F. A. Bockenstedt is to leave our midst in the near future. He lias bought pro perty in X' uida, Minn., consisting of a livery barn and houee. Mr. llenry Kramer attended tbe Teachers meeting in tiariville last Sat urday. We regret to report that Louis Schtr bring is laid up with a tor: foot. liow are tbe wedding belle llenry! They will ring soon, won't they. EADS GROVE. bam Bishop la convalescing as rapidly as can be expweud and we hope 10 Harry Sackett purchased one-hun dred buBhelB of corn from a party In Manchester paying 09 cents per bushel. Fred Frentress and Jack Edmunds have added their names to tbe list of those who sport telephones. Will Holmes has quit the section and is now a motorinan in Dubuque. The Ladles Aid Society met with Mrs. Jas Hudson last Thursday. Little Claude Clute, son of Chas. Clute is very Bick. At ilrst it waB thought that he had diphtheria but later developments proved this theory false. W. Bagsby living nerth of Edgewood bad hiB house partly destroyed by Are on Sunday Jan. 12. Jake Moser a brother-in-law of Mr. Bagsby made htm a visit last Thursday to ascertain the amount of damage done. John ltay has given up hiB Fii&toSS $ AiXH seat Tuesday. A. A. Strong is visiting in Uancbes ter, today. Queenhlthe and ltotlicrliitne, and, al though their original functions have gone, there still remains a shadow to remind Os of their departed glory.— Eiondon Chronicle. How to Make Chop Sney. For those who like or who tlilnk they would like the famous Chinese dish, chop suey, the following recipe, which any intelligent housewife can follow, was given by W. E. S. Fales, for sever nl years vice consul at Ainoy: "For four persons two chickens' liv ers, two chickens' gizzards, one pound young, clean pork cut into small pieces, half an ounce of preen root ginger and two stalks of celery.' Saute this In a frying pan over a hot lire, adding four tablespoonfuls of olive oil, one table spoonful of vinegar, half a cupful of boiling water, one teaspoonful of Worcestershire sauce, half, a teaspoon ful of salt, lilack and fed pepper to taste and a dasli of cloves and cinna mon. When nearly done, add a small can of mushrooms, half a cupful of ei ther bean sprouts or French green peas or string beans chopped line or aspara gus tips. The see-yu sauce which is eaten with tills delectable dish can be procured at any Chinese grocery." Be Prepared. Dnuiel Webster onee told friend that his great speech in reply to Unyne, which is the high water mark of modem eloquence, but which at the time was supposed to have been deliv ered without preparation, had been substantially prepared long before. When called upon suddenly to reply to the llery Carolinian's attacks, which so alarmed the New Englanders at the capital, he was entirely at ease and ready for the fray, for, as he said, he had "only to turn to his notes tucked away in a pigeonhole," and refresh his recollection. "If Huyno," he said, "had tried to make a speech to lit my notes, he could not have hit them better. No tnan is inspired by the occasion. I never was." Strange Facta About Animals. position as lireman on tbe Great Western rail way. (i Clute & SonB shipped a carload ot cattle and a carload of hogs to Chi cago, Monday. On Friday, January 16th„ at Thorpe, occurred the funeral of Miss JeBSie Miller of this place. Deceased has for some time been working in Peoria, III. The mother brother and Bister have the heartfelt sympathy of a hoBt of frlendB in their deep bereavemet. '•For Wajn That Are Dnrk." Etc. "Some years ago," says the advertis ing agent of a tobacco lirm quoted by the Philadelphia Record. "I wished to Introduce among the Chinese a two for five cigar that mv people were heavily interested in, aud I decided to draw up a little card extolling this cigar In Chi nesc characters. "I sought out Lo Hen Wong in San Francisco, a very intelligent fellow, and got him to write me a few sen tences i& praise of my article. I had what he wrote lithographed and dis tributed the cards by thousands in all the Chinatowns of the United States. They were inscribed with a picture of the cigar, and, below were the words: 'Smoke this cigar. It is the best on the market, and two for live is its price.' 'That, at least, is what I thought was the meaning of the Chinese char acters. I found out, some six months later, my mistake. The words Lo Hen Wong had written and which I had had lithographed were: 'Don't smoke this cigar. It is not good. But the Gong company's cigarettes, for sale in every Chinatown at 3 cents a package, are excellent.' "Lo Hen Wong had got $10 from me for his work, and I don't know how much he got from the Gong company. We distributed many thousands of the cards before we got on to the trick that had been played on us." Old Name* In London. If London street names are not al ways what they seem, the names of the great parishes usually are. Take Lam beth, for lnstaucc. That vast district has retained its name practically unal tered since the days of Edward the Confessor, who granted a charter In which it is styled Lambehith. Some Illiterate scribe, who helped in the mak ing of "Domesday," did, indeed, make an effort to obliterate its real name by calling it Lanchel, but his efforts were, fortunately, In vaiu. William Rufus in another charter named it Lambeth, since when it has kept its title unsul lied. In the olc} days Lambehith (from hithe, a liaven) was the great river port whence agricultural produce was fer ried across t|)e Thames to the more populous counvy opposite. There are etill many "hglies" left us. such ap Have you ever noticed that all ani mals which chew the cud are cloven footed? Also that most of those which drink water by suction are herbivorous, the carnivorous variety lapping it with the tongue, like the cat, dog, tiger, etc. Sheep have 110 soon 6be him out again. Wm. Martin has decided to remove to Montana iu the spring. Sam llidenour aud Nettie Fowler at tended a party at Frank Taylor'*, Fri day uight. Miss Maude Canine, of Greeley, 1b Did He Undemtand A well known Edinburgh professor often became so interested in his sub ject that when the noon bell rang he seemed quite oblivious of the fact and kept the class for several minutes. Cer tain restless spirits among the stu dents decided to give him a gentle hint, so they bought an alarm clock. London Tit-Bits tells the result The clock, set to alarm at precisely 12 o'clock, was placed on the profess or's desk. As was anticipated, he be gan his lecture without observing the clock. But when the noon hour struck the alarm went off with a startling crash. Even those not in the secret appreci ated the joke. There was a round of applause. The professor smilingly, waited until the alarm and the ap plause ceased and then said: "Young gentlemen, I thank you for this gift. I had forgotten It was my birthday. An alarm clock is something my wife has needed for our servant for a long time. It Is a very kind remem brance on your part." Then ho went on with the demonstration which had been interrupted by the alarm, aud the students were never quite able to sat isfy themselves whether the professor understood the joke or not. One Doy'n Loyalty. A New York boy was at scnooi Canada, and it was 'his first day class. The geography lesson was call ed, and it was his turn to auswer. "Which is the largest city in the world?" asked the teacher. "New York," unhesitatingly came the answer. "I mean the largest city in the world," said the teacher. He wrote the fifty lines, and every line read: "The biggest city in the world is New York."—New York Trib une. PrnylnK nnd Prinking Sam Joues, the revivalist, was once taking women to task for spendin more time in prinking than in prayin "If there's a woman here." he scream ed finally, "who prays more thau she prinks, let her stand up." Olie poor old faded specimen of fem futility in the sorriest, shabbiest clothes Krose. "You spend more time praying tha prinking?" asUcd the preacher, takin her all in. The poor old creature said she did prayed all the lime, prinked none all. "You t:o Rtralght home." admonished Jones, "and put a little time on your prinking." Torner't* Ton*I. Turner, the painter, was a ready wit. Once al a dinner of artists and literary men a minor poet, by way of being fa cetious. proposed as a toast "the health of the painters aud glaziers of Great Britain." The toast was drunk, and Turner, nfter returning thanks for it. Droucscd v^? .- &•• Vjf s?lsS' ilft¥ M'a fc#,' i' (i iV •& teeth In the upper jaw and tortoises *nd turtles are without altogether. Unlike most-animals, horses have no eyebrows, and hares are minus eye lids. Consequently the eyes of the lat ter caunot be shut, and a thin tnem branous substance covers them when asleep. The eye of the owl is also very peculiar, seeing that it is immovably fixed in its socket and cannot stir In any direction. To compensate for this seeming disadvantage it can turn its head almost completely round without moving its body. If you were to keep a frog's mouth open mauy minutes, it would soon die, as owing to its peculiar construction it can only breathe with the mouth closed. On the other hand, fishes are com pelled to keep opening and closing their organizing a music class here. Charlie mouths In order to give their respira Wayne Lash and Carrie Bryan are among tbe new scholars. Cy McKmnis and Geo X'arkineon were Manchester visitors last Saturday. Schermer Bros, sawed up a large pile of woftd lor Mrs. Armstrong last. Wed nesday. tory organs full play. It is also strange fact that the deer has addi tional breathing places besides the nos trils, as if nature had foreseen his grent need of free respiration when forced to flee before the hounds. Snakes usunlly have their teeth in the head, but one variety In Africa, whose pri cipal food Is eggs. Is provided with substitute for them in its ston ach -t, ST J**, 5¥ 4£? the health of the British paper Main- The laugh was turned against tb« pot'i- Monti and Mirror. Sctrm night when the moan is at lis full and the air is free from haze go outdoors with a hand mirror and ho'il it so that tin* moon's Image will fall on It. Make the experiment, preferably, hen the moon is well up in the heav ens. Instead of seeing one imago, as you ill expect, you v.*ill see four. One of these images will be very blight, but the other three will be dull, like r.nbutnlshed silver. Tl will be in a straight line, ono of the dull iiua es ou one si.le of the bright image and two on the other side of it. Turn the minor slowly around, and the images will appear to revolve around on a common center. The explanation of thin queer little phenomenon may be found in the fait that there are two surfaces In a mirror, one in front and the other in the baeU. here the quicksilver is. Tho brightest of the images is from the moon Itself. The others are what We known as secondary Images, re fleeted from the front to the back of the mirror and thence to the eye. A similar experiment may be made with the planets Venus, .lupiter and Mars or with any of the first mngni tude stars, such as Sirlus, Capella. Arcturus, Vega and Antares. The planets aud thenars, however, make only three images, the number of Images depending on the breadth of the object. A perfectly clear night 1 sential.—New York Herald. •V_:'y \The Dear Old Frnnd«. Those old. pleasant. Innocent"frauds of the circus nre not practiced now the Imposing, live barred Kiites that, as the horse approached them, were sloped Into insluiiiiirant wattles and the rings through which the slgnorina pur ported to leap, but which In reality were Insinuated over her by compliant attendants. And then there was that venerable jockey performance, the cul mination of which was leap from the ring to a standing position, albeit at an angle of 30 degrees, on the horse's back. In the old circuses It was the custom of tho horseman to miss the crowning jump two or three times In order that a licrcer flame of Interest might be kindled in the audience. Aft er two failures the band would stop (always the presage of a moment of strain supreme), the horse's head would be loosed, he would be urged to greater pace, and the feat would gloriously succeed. Then what crash of brass and outburst of delight in the building, Involving even tho staff and ringmaster In the expression of stasy. Those old, simple days!—Corn hill. Maklnar It Clear. To confuse a witness is generally an easy task, and lawyers know no easier way than to make a witness explain the meaning of his words, knowing that very few people can do so without getting excited. Occasionally a victim resents this nagging and answers in a spirited and unexpected manner. A lawyer was cross examining young girl'of rather haughty temper. She had testified that she had seen the defend ant "shy" a book at the plaintiff, and the lawyer had seized on the word. Shy—shy a book? What do you mean by that? Will you explain to the court what the word 'shy' means?" The girl leaned over the desk be neath the wltnesJ box, picked up a lawbook nnd threw it at the lawyer's head, who dodged just in time. I think the court now understands the meaning of the word 'shy,'" said the judge gravely, and the girl was al lowed to finish her testimony without further interruption.—London Tit-Bits. InqnlNltivc Pcntrnlna. We often met companies of six or eight or more pengulus promenading on the arctic Ice pack in the sunshine. When they saw us, they generally ex hibited curiosity and approached to get a nearer view. I do not know If these birds have the Instinct of the naturalist and take a lively interest, doubtless philosophic from their point of view, in everything new which pre sents Itself or if the object of their Investigations is entirely practical, but they certainly came near us with a dis tinct purpose of making examination. But If we had the misfortune to ex cite much curiosity they became ag gressive. One would first come close to us and recounolter, and then, on his order, the others would advance with a menacing air, and the battle begau, a battle In which we sometimes had trouble to demonstrate effectively our superior strength.—Geographical Mag azine. The Blaclc Maria. The following is given as the origin of the term "Black Maria:" When New England was filled with emigrants from the mother country, a negress named Maria Lee kept a sailors' board ing house iu Boston. She was a wom an of great streugth and helped the au thorities to keep the peace. Frequently the police invoked her aid, and the saying, "Send for Black Maria." came to mean, "lake him to jail." British seamen were oftcu tf ken to the lockup by this amazon, aud the stories they spread of her achievements led to the name of Black Maria being given to the Euglish prison van. In As promptly came the reply, "New York." "But," expostulated the teacher, did not say the largest city in the Unit ed States, but the largest city in the world. You surely know which Is the largest city in the world." "New York," persisted the boy. "London has a larger population than Now York," said the teacher. "If I do not have the correct answer this time I shall have to punish you. Come now," eoaxingly. "tell me the name of the largest city in the world." "New York." "Stay iu during recess and write me fifty lines." No Stiuealftigr. Some English-travelers were recently in a restaurant iu a German towu when a woman who was serving im parted the interesting Information that a pig was being killed round the cor ner. One of them remarked that it was curious that the pig did not squeal The woman looked at them in surprise. "Aber," said she, "es 1st polizellicli ver boteu"—it's forbidden by the police. He Knew. Susie—Papa, what makes a man al ways give a woman a diamond engage ment ring? Her father—The woman. The Other XVny. Teacher—I would like some one in the class to define the meaning of vice versa. Bright Boy—It's sleeping with your •"Vet toward tl»» head of the bed. of llnpj[iy Thought of Mnit In a Fix* An operator for a western railroad who had served his company long aud well was called luto the oiiice one day and asked if he thought hr could hold down the job of night dispatcher. He promptly replied that lie could and was told to report for duty that night, and his chief instructed him in what he was to do. Just after the chief left the pWiaV-:. -. wait for orders, and It was not a great while until he had every train on the dlvlslou sidetracked. Then he took a book, lighted his pipe and sat down to wait for daylight. In the inorniug the chief appeared with anxiety writteu all over liis lace. •Any acclchuts, Johnny?" asked the chief. Where Smoklnar Is Crime. There is oue country In the world where It Is considered a crime to smoke. Abyssinia is th* r* glon, and the law forbidding tobac«?o dates from the year 1012. It was at first merely intended to prevent priests from suiok* ing in the churches, but it was taken too literally, and nowadays even for eigners have to be careful not to be Been smoking. An UnuHunl Rnce. An unusual race was advertised to be run at Itipon. in Yorkshire, in 1725: "Tho Lady's Plate, of £15 value, by tiny horse that was no more than five years old the last grass. Women to be the riders. Each to pay a guinea en trance. Three heats and twice round the common for a heat." Breaklnjs It Gently. "Well, John, liow nre things going at home?" "Why, sir, tho magpie's dead." "Poor Jack! What took him off?" "We think, Kir, it was eating too much horse meat." •'How's that? Where did he get the horse meat?" "I am sorry to tell you, sir, that both the carriage horses died.' "The horses dead! What ailed them?" "It most have been overwork draw ing water to the Are.' 'Fire! What Ore?' 'Why, sir, the hall was burned to the ground." 'Great heavens! now did that hap pen?" It caught Are from tho funeral torch es, sir." 'Whoso funeral?" 'Your mother's, sir.'' 'My poor mother dead! How long was she ill? What was the matter?" "Well, sir. she never held up her head after your father's death. 'My father too! Tell me the cause. Speak, man!" "lie took to his bfd as soon as he heard the had news, sir." "Bad news! What do you mean?' "That the vessel that held his whole fortune had been lost at sea 'V- The Common Chord. Jnracs Huckliam, one of our minor pools, put into beautiful verse an Inci dent which occurred during the civil war. He calls It "Tlie Common Chord." The incident was this: Two great ar mies, one wearing the blue and one the gray, were drawn up in prepara tion for battle. As the evening fell tho bands began to play. "Dixie" by the southerners was followed by "Yankee Doodle" by the northerners, and "Ma ryland, My Maryland," drew out "Ilall Columbia." "Beautiful Girl of the South" was answered by "Just Hefore tho Hattlc, Mother." Each side mock ed and jeered the other's music and cheered their own unMl the stars came out and silence fell. Then, sweet and low, a band far up the line began to play "Home, Sweet Home." Another and another joined until all the bands on both sides were playing In unison, and, stronger and more beautiful still, the men 011 both sides were sluging the words. The common chord had been struck, and the thousands of combatants were at one with the sentiment, "There's no place like home." ^,47 The Example of I'liKtlii I ill. A story is told of liow Paganlnl once came Into the conceit room, took the violin (111(1 touched the strings. First one string broke, and a suiile went round the room then another string broke, and there was more audible ex pression of mockery. When a third string broke, many people laughed out right at his discomfiture. But Paga ninl stood forth with his violin as though nothing had happened and played on the one string, and the peo ple ceased to smile, but listened spell bound. Some of those who had derid ed him began to weep, and some even prayed. Many a man had fallen helpless by the wayside when some great catas trophe turned the current of his life aside. The brave man pushes forward with one remaining talent and pluekB victory from defeat. A DeHpcrate CJinnce.' A Russian exile relates how he once saved himself by a desperate artifice. A police oflicial searched his house for compromising papers. There was iu his possession a document the discov ery of which meant serious danger to himself and his friends. Wherever he might hide it, it seemed certain that it would be found. He coolly handed the document to the oflicial, who scarcely glanced at It aud handed It back. After tho most careful search the of ficial, iiis nose blackened with soot and his hair decorated with feathers, for he had even examined the stovepipes and the bedding, departed empty hand ed. t0 olHce It begun to Mow and snow, and the trains coiuiuenced to niu late. The new night dispatcher soon had develop ed a,bal case of "rattles" aud almost cried, lie did not want an accident, and he could not handle the trains. So a hnppy thought struck him. As fast as a repor- came In ho replied, directing the conductor to taUe a siding' and THE TOUGH DOES IT Benson's Pfesters are hke your other friends—they hate to see yon in pain or in weakness and are dog-tired hearing yon complain about it. Thoy want to cure you and sendyou along to your business—whole and liappy. They on do it aud trill do it. Try them on. What for? "Why for any I cough or cold you may be troubled with, or Not an accident. I've got 'cm all I any bothering pain or acho, or worry with on the sidetrack, snowed in aud wait-, kidneys or liver. Possibly some old clutch Ing for orders, and you will have to I of muscular rheumatism renders an arm or get 'em out. I am going to blow this j" Fnlse Tnlla For Horned 1fg'only job." It took the chief and his force neatly all day to get the trains straifcbt-1 j^clapaBenson^PorousPlnstersquarolyon ened out and trafllc resumed on the the bad spot. They are the get-out-to-morrow plasters—not the sort that go to sler road.—Indianapolis News. on vour skin like a cat on a cushion. Inhere is comfort and speedy relief in tho touch of them. No other external remedy, no mat ter how made or how called, is worthy to live in the same street with Ben eon's Plasters. Pains and ailments melt False tails are extensively made for horses, old favorites especially, whose caudal appendages present a woruout and moth euthen appearance, like Pe- away under them as a Bheet of ice does un truchio's "old mothy saddle," and his der the Spring sun. You cannot foretell prodigiously mothy gut up ("Taming of the •weather^ but yon can always foretell the Shrew," Hi, 2k Thoy are also worn by funeral horses, and by other horses of exquisite outline selected for a par ticular kind of work, but which are somewhat spoiled iu appearance by the possession of a rat tail (bald, like a rat's). These useful appllauces, how ever, are not constructed exclusively for harness horses. 1 have seou rows of bogus tails, artistically joined on to the crupper, han^ng up in a cavalry barracks ready for instant service, be iug slipped on just like a finger stall. The "line ends" or false tails used by nobody but "horse copers" or loW swindlers are most ingeniously fastened on the animal's bare back by invisible means. A dealer in horses never looks at a horse with a bad tail, and he al* ways goes to the best market only.— Chambers' Journal. hulf: price just now. For the effect of Benson's Plasters it is as sore as the effect of a hot breakfast in a hungry man's stomach. But look out for substitutes. Get the genuine. AU drug gists, or wo will prepay postage on any number ordered in the United States on reoeipt of 25c. each. Seabury & Johnson, Mfg. Chemists, N.Y. Much Beading for Little Money. The New York World has got the cost of printing down to a minimum. Its latest offer of its monthly newspa per-magazine is Interesting if from no other cause than it shows the acme of "how much for how little." The Month ly World is a 32 page magazine with colored cover. Its pages are about the size of the pages of tbe LadieB Home Journal, and it is copiously illustrated in half-tone. The illustrations are the results of tbe best artistic skill, aided by all the latest printing-press appli ances, making a magazine unrivalled in the qaality of its contents and its ap pearances. Each issue contains stories of romance, love, adventure, travel stories of fiction and fact stories of thingB quaint and curious, gathered to gether from all over tbe world tbe re sults of scientific research, and editor ial reviews. It numbers among its contributors the leading literary men •ind women of the day. A feature each month is a full-page portrait of (he most famed man or woman of the moment in the public eye. In collect ing and preparing for publication tbe literary matter and art subjects for tbe Monthly World no expense Ib spared.-' The New York World will send BIX numbers of this newspaper-magazine on receipt of fifteen cents In stampB. Address The World, Pulitzer liuiiding, New York. WM Thi rurtt Ireland has 40S ablebodied persons 1,000 inhabitants, Scotland 421 and England 432. The hardest thing to find Is an hon est partner for a swindle. Lampblack mixed with turpentine to a consistency that will How readily from the brush utakes a good marking Ink. aiBi boilar Knte Willnli-awa January 31. The l'es NoJucs ]Mly New* hns uddrd OIIP CilKAl'—Ki-btdence Property In this city. iiqi ire ot hrouso.i & Carr. Child Worth Millions. "My child is worth millions to me,' says MrB. Mary Hird.of llarrieburg.l'a., "yet 1 would have lost her by croup had 1 not purchased a bottle ot One Minute Cough Cure." One Minute Cough Cure Is sure cure for cough, croup and throat and luug troubles. Au absolute ly safe cough cure which acts immtd lately. The youngest child can take it with entire safety. The little ones like tbe taste and remember how often it helped them. Every family should have a bottle of One Minute Cough Cure handy. At this eeaeon especially it may be needed Buddenly.—Smith Bros, A Little Book of Oreat Importance. Do you ever wish for a book thBt can be relied upon to answer correctly £11 tbe little questions and knotty problems that present themselves day by day—a book that will quickly decide all argu ments on all subjects? Tbe 1902 World Almanac and Encyclopedia, which Is now ready, Ib exactly this kind of book. It takes the Bame position in tbe world of facts and figures SB does the diction ary in the world of words. This little volume contains over 600 pages of well printed agate type, every line containing some fact that you will Booner or later want to look up. Tbe World Almanac should occupy a prominent place in every progressive American household. The 1902edition is more complete than any of the former oneB. It contains facts on many sub jects that have recently been brought to the public notice and which every up: to-date person should have at bis fin-, gers ends. Among the features of the 1902 Al manac are The millionaires of the United States, a list giving the names of nearly 4,000 Americans who possess over 81,000,000. The great American trunte full particu lars of 103 leading industrial organiza tins. Organized labor enlarged sta tistics of the strength of labor unions and tbe present condition of the labor movement. The Nicaragua Canal and the Hay-l'auncefote treaties with Great liritain Progress of aerial navigation in 1901. Complete United States censuB. A nurchist statistics ot the United States and Europe, etc., to the extent of over 1,000 topics. The 1902 World Almanac and Ency clopedia IB on sale by all newsdealers throughout the country for 25 cents. When ordered by mall 10c extra for postage must be inclosed to tbe Woild, New York. SEPARATOR AWARDS BUFFALO EXPOSITION AND OTHER INTERNATIONAL EXPOSITIONS The United States Sepa excelled all oiht.rs in separating the crcam from the milk of the ten dairy herds in the Model Dairy at die Pnn-Americnn Exposition. Thtf DoLnval Separator left 2.S i«»r rent, wore fat in the bkimmilk than the United StMes. The United States Separator received medal and highest prize at the World's 1'air, Chicago, 1893. At tho PaIs Exposition the United States Separator received a Cold Nledal. "'lie DeLaval Co. received no prize there. In their attempt to pet vas the award given to around this, they advertise that the award they claim was the "Soci6te Anonymo Separator," which they claim "is the French translation of Separator Corporate Company,' the name of their Kuropean organization." The Socici6 Anonvtne Separator" exhibited a Butter Radiator. Their circulars read as follows: "I.e Radiateur prodnit directement du bcurre pasteurise." The Knglish translation is "The Rfldiator produces pastuerized butter direct from the milk." In this country this machine is railed flutter Accumu v,c:*vvi- lator" ora Butter Extractor." The Del-aval Separators, like those sold by the DeLavnl Company in this country, were exhibited at Paris in the name of the Aktiebolaget Separator. They had a very larpe exhibit, over 100 machines in two places. Hut regardless of tlie.se lnrpe exhibits the oftical lKt of awards distributed nt Pariscontaiiu'd no avvojrl whatever to the Del-aval Co. or their European Co., the Aktiebolapet Separator. The name of the separator on the circulars thev distribu'ed at l'ar!s ts tho Alfa-Lav:l. Anonvti giv The a\v:rd which they now claim wrs oh a machine making pastuerized butter direct f-otn the milk and not a cream separator. We ask nil renders who, in their opinion, is the guilty party making All sorts of lying :nd unscrupulous misrepresentations." For further information about separator awards, we refer to the official published lists. THE UNITED STATE8 SEPARATOR EXCELS ALL OTHERS IN THOROUGHNESS OF SEPARATION AND STANDS WITHOUT A PEER. E E S S E A A O IN E W O The U. S. docs not find it necessary to make false claims in order to get a record. Vermont Farm Machine Co., Bellows Falls, Vt. Boy's School Suits. Parents me getting the boys ready for school. They have to Savs have a suit, or pair of pants, am shirt and hat. We have them gjun for you. We are selling boys' SsrhS two piece suits from $1.00 up. Boys three piece suits from SMS] $2.50 to $7.50. Boy's long pants suits from $8.00 down to $2.75. We have tho shirt with two collars at 50c. Hats and caps from 25c to Sl.oO. Big lme of knee pants BKM 25c to $1.25. We have our over coats all in and ready for in- j"~ spection. fejg We have a ruler for every boy and girl in the county. GIVEN AWAY FREE. ALLEN & STOREY. THE WORLD'S LEADERS. I a One Sunday edition to tts six week day Issues nitd win advance its subscription rate January 8)»t lo ti EOayettr.Sl.0ofor elKht inontbi. 80 cents for six months, 5" cents for ttm-e months, 95 cts. for mouth. Until that date yearly subat rip iun* for the 8C5 Issue* will be $1.C0, but the right reserved t* withdraw this oflerwlthoul notice tl the circulation becomes too large for our pie»s acillilos. vdore? Tin1: NEWS, DesMoines, la. 8w2 g[ft3