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Democratic Co. Convention.
The Democrats of Harriwa Ooanty, lows, will meet in delegate convention at Logan, on Wednesday, September 4th I'.IOl, at 10:30 a. m., tu nominate candidates for the following offices: Representative. Treasurer. Sheriff. Superintendent of Schools. Surveyor. Coroner. Member of Board of flnpervison for Uistiiet No. 1 composed of Allen, Jackson, Little Sioux Morgan, Clay, lUglan, and Magnolia townships. Ttao convention will also select a county ohair man and secietary of the Democratic County Central Committee for the ensuing year, and transact any other buninesa that may properly come before it. The basis of representation is one delegate for each precinct and one additional delegate tor every twenty-tiva votes or fraction of thir teen or over ewt for William J. Bryan for pres ident at the last election. TOWNSHIP. VOTES. DEL. Harrison township £22 10 Lincoln townxhip 7C 4 Allen township 09 4 JackMin township TO 4 Little Sioux townohip 121 (i Douglas township 04 5 Boycr township 105 0 Magnoliu township 132 0 Itaglan township 101 5 Morgan township 110 5 Cass township 100 5 Jefferson township 200 12 Calhoun township 74 4 Taylor township 125 (i Clay township 87 4 Washington township 104 8 Union township 104 5 Lagrange township 114 0 Bt, John township 153 7 Cincinnati township 58 .'! Mo. Valley, 1st' ward 153 0 Mo. Valley, 2nd ward 93 5 Mo. Valley, 3rd ward 177 8 CHARLES N. WOOD. County Chairmau. Logan, Iowa. August 19tli, 1001. Crop Bulletin for Week End ing Aug. 26,1901. Des Moines, Iowa.—The daily average temperature for the paB week waB from 4 to 7 degrees above normal. Droathy condi tions still prevail over the larger part of the state, mitigated by cool nights, and scattered local Bhowers were reported on the 21st, 22d and 25th. The most copious showers were, reported on the lat ter date, in the weBt central and .north central districts. For the week Eatherville reported 2.77 inches Forest City 1.06 Iowa Falls 1.01 Charles City .55 Mar shalltown .40 Ogden .52 Maquo keta .43 Clear Lake .60 Hamp ton .74 Palo Alto 1.17 Cherokee 1.14 Spencer .72 Onawa 1.17 Carroll .93. Except portions of the north east district, the northern half of the state has received consider able benefit from rainfall during the month. In the southern sec tion the drouth appears to have wrought the greatest amount of damage and yet considerable portions of the southwest report fair yield of small grain, and pros pects of much better output of corn than appeared possible about the 1st of August. The corn crop as a whole has made very rapid progress toward maturity early planted fields are now about ready for the binders, find .a beginning has been made in cutting. Late corn is in all stages of growth, with variable prospects, the output of grain de pending upon the amount of mois ture received. It is holding its own notably well, and developing fairly well filled ears in the larger part of the state. A general soaking rain is much needed for pastures, potatoes, fall Beeding and plowing. Atchison Globe Shots. If you get hungry before noon, your health is all right. It never pleases a man to say" you are getting bald-headed. Do you know it?" Don't get sick now if you want any sympathy the hay fever victims are getting all of it. The favorite lie these days is the nnmber of pounds in weight one lost in the recent hot spell. "I holler at him sometimes," a wom an said, speaking of her husband, "when I feel like hitting him," A bint to grocers: When a custom er admires a peach, turn your back, and give him a chance to eat it. When a man has a clever wife, ever -notice bow be lets her run things? He is glad to get rid of the responsibility. Considering the monotony of a mar ried man's life, his wife should really contrive oftener to have hot biscuits and blackberry jam. The expense of the trip a woman took isn't all when she gets home, she has to give a party to show off anew game she learned, and the latest,thing in sandwiches. A Model* Mr. Jones came home at an unseemly hour the other night and was surprised to sec Mrs. ones sitting up for him below stairs, with no other light tlinn that of the gas lamp, which faced the door, to keep her compauy. "M-M-Marle," he said huskily, "yyoo shouldn't sit up s'late when I'm out on business." As Mrs. Jones did not ariBwer him, he continued in an alarmed voice: "Sliorry, m'dear, but it's last time tell you I'm sorry—won't shpeak to me?" At this moment Mrs. Jones called from above stairs: "Mr. Jones, who are you talking to at this hour of the night?" "Thash what I'd like to know m-m-myself," stammered Jones. Mrs. Joues hastened dowu stairs, lamp In hand. Wheu she saw the sit uation, she laughed in spite of being very angry. "It's the model," she said—"the mod el I bought today to fit my dresses on." "Yes, thash so," said Jones tipsily. "Model woman—didn't talk back—make some fellow good wife."—London Tit Bits. The Odd Shilling*. There is very little difference be tween a pound and a guinea only a shilling, and yet the keen business man Insists that the shilling shall be consid ered. After Thackeray's series of lec tures on the four Georges had been delivered In London, Willert Beale says that he called upon the novelist In Onslow square with a check for £250. "What's thi3, W.*b.?" cried Thack eray, reading the check. "Pounds? Our agreement says guineas, and guineas it must be." "You are aware that the lectures so far have Involved very heavy losses," said Beale apologetically. "That's not my affair," 6ald Thack eray. "I don't know what occult means you have to protect yourself from loss. Guineas, W. It.! Guineas it must be, and nothing else. I must have the shillings." And the shillings were sent him im mediately. Palntlnir Black Eyes. "The painting of blackened eyes, of which you hear little nowadays," said a man of experience, "is so woli estab lished a business now that it docs not even need advertising. A sign which I just passed aroused memories of earlier days within mo. It was merely the name of a man who does this kind of painting, with the brief announce ment. 'Black Eyes Painted.' "Some years ago such a simple state ment was not enough to enable one in that business to live. The artist whose calling this sign declared is the same man who some years back used to have a place on tlie avenue farther west, and in front of that old oiUce he used to have an expansive and gorgeous slgu which told his accomplishments In the phraseology which the only Tody Ham ilton after perfected in describing the charms of the best that Barnum of fered."—New York Sun. Teats of Culture. The chemist Liebig proposed to meas ure the standard of civilization by the consumption of soap, a creation which would put the inhabitants of north Holland at the head of all civilized na tions. As a more reliable test Edmund About suggested the sale of steel pens, the socialist Bebcl the frequency of re form meetings. Dr.' Bernard the use of undergarments, a luxury unknown to the semlclvilized tribes at Asia and South America Professor Ebers the sale of postage stamps. The mileage of railroads per hundred square miles of territory might do in comparing countries of equal- density «f popula tion.—Exchange. Telegraphing With Cannons. When the first vessel completed the passage of the then new Erie canal in 1825, there being no such thing as a telegraph In those days, the news was communicated to New York and to Buffalo by cannons placed within hear ing of each other all the way along from Albany to each of the other cities. The signal was passed along in this way from Albany to New York city and back again to Albany In 58 min utes. The experiment was a costly one, but was a success in every particu lar. Her Sentiments. They were looking over the paper to gether. "Oh, my, how funny 1" caid she. "What is It?' he asked. "Why, here's an advertisement that •ays, 'No reasonable offer refused.'" "What is there odd about that?" "Nothing, nothing," she replied, try ing to blUBh "only those are my senti ments." Another wedding shertly. Holland Custom*. Holland has some peculiar customs. In many towns bulletins are affixed to the doors of houses In which persons are sick in order that their friends may be apprised of the state ot their health without knocking or ringing, and In Ilaarlem the birth of a child Is an nounced by means of a small placard adorned with red silk and lace. ft Seasonable Conductor. Plkey—And Just because you bad lost your nickel the conductor made you get off the car and walk all the way home? Bilkey—ph. no. He «nly put me off. I could bave aat by the roadside all night if I had wanted to.—Baltimore World. The Chinese began to write books be fore they migrated from the region south of the Caspian sea. Two of their greatest literary productions area dic tionary in 5,020 volumes and an en cyclopedia In 22,037 volumes. I I fe-mm VOL. 34 MISSOURI VALLEY, IOWA, THURSDAY, AUGUST 20, 1901 THE ALPHABET'S MEETING. The alphabet met ant? said that "they Were mt arranged in a proper wny." A had stood at the head too long It was not right it was utterly wrontf, ••For you all know and can plainly see That plate belongs to mo," faid CJ. •'You take the head, indeed!" said "That place is meant for my dear X.M •'Tut, tut, tut! Well, well, well! I'll stand there myself then/' sail L. "Excuse us, please, we think that we Have a word to bay," said 12, C, D. "Suppose you have," said as he Softly whimpered a word to K. "Who'll prevent, I'd like to know. Standing head M, N or O?" "'We've listened in silence to nil of you And now will 'head' you," snid 1' and Q. •'Our impression is, you had better try," Then angrily spoke both 11 and 1. •'How rude and coarsa!" said It, S, T. •'The 'airs' of some!" said and V. "Would drive one mad," said W, X, Y, Z. But, after all, the letters still Btand A fit the licud, at the foot &. —Brooklyn Eagle. TALK OF MARRIAGE. It la Proper Fur the Man, bat Not For the Girl, Apparently, A man may remark oiv his intention to marry at some indefinite future time, when prudence or other considerations may make it possible or advisable, without having, as a rule, to run the gantlet of a chorus of impertinent and stupid would be witty remarks. But should a girl bo bold enough, or, rather, natural and simple enough, to say the same thing what would be the result? Why, every one knows that she would be promptly sneered out of counte nance. And why? Is it immodest for a wom an to express a determination to enter into a state which we are being contin ually reminded is a natural and honor able state, while it is modest and prop er for a man to do so? Such a distinc tion would never be drawn except for the "cheapness" to which reference lias been made. If a man wants to marry, he can mar ry. If the first woman ho asks refuses him. ho lias only to ask a second or per haps a third or fourth. It would lie sale to guarantee that within a month any man of fairly respectable life and position and appearance who cared to make the experiment could marry in his own class, could marry probably a woman much superior to himself. But what about the girl who intends to marry "some day?" Is she not in a very different position from the man? Here Is a girl of good character—much better than the man's, probably—aver age intelligence, average good looks. Theoretically she is free to marry whom she will, but is she? If she re ceives one distinct offer of marriage, she has had more than her share, ac cording to the probable average. The fact that by an unwritten law a woman must not take, and, indeed, does not want to take, the initiative has very little to do with the extremely limited choice which modern conditions impose upon English women.—Nineteenth Cen tury. bralloirei Two Pounds of Stone. Stones do not form part of tlie rec ognized diet of the cormorant, but one of these birds In the National Zoolog ical park in Washington had a craving which could be satisfied only by eat ing two pounds of stones. The keep er's attention was attracted to the bird because after having once sat down it couldn't get up. lie was picked up, and then the stones were heard rattling inside of him. An official connected with tlie park decided that something must bo done, and he promptly cut the cormorant open and relieved him of his burden. One of the stones, of irregular shape, was H'/j inches long. The in cision was sewed up, and for five days the bird got along all right, the wound healing finely, but at the end of that time the cormorant grew restive and pulled out the stitches with his hooked bill. As a consequence of opening up the wound he died. Artificial Stone. Quarrymen and stone dressers will probably be gradually crowded out of their occupation by the use of artificial stone. In the manufacture of this stone the sand Is heated and the cement add ed to the amount of 12 per cent of the mixture. The steel molds are filled with the dry material and moved into an Immense cylinder, which is closed and bolted. Boiling water Is then turned In under pressure sufficient to force It all* through the sand in tlie molds. The cement slacks, but the steel molds do not permit any expan sion to occur, and the stone Is formed and dried under an immense pressure. The result is a very hard stone, which can be supplied in shapes desired and much cheaper than the natural stone. Noncooklngr Restaurant*. Odd as it may appear to dwellers In small cities, some of the down town restaurants of New York are in build ings In which no cooking Is allowed. Some of the busiest of the midday res taurants purchase all their meats and stews already cooked and merely heat them through again before serving them to patrons. This branch of the restaurant business has reached such proportions that tlie mere operation of cooking for such places has become an established business, and owner3 of ovens thrive at it—New York Sun. Tnrice as Black. Sam Cole—Miss Yallerby done treat me sean'lous. She done tole me yes tld'y dat I was black as de ace of spades. Jim Crow—Dat's on'y half as bad as what she scz 'bout me. She tole me I was black as de deuce.—Catholic Standard and Times. The penal code of the Chinese em pire is at least 2,000 years old, and un der its provisions about 12,000 persons a re an a The first balloon ascent took place fti the year 1783. ••••I -y- The One i«ar Valley rr VOUUR -S3 A VERY CURIOUS BIRD. Mark Twain Sprung pott tlie Sclciitlnta. Mark Twain's father was an ornithol ogist. He had several friends who were also enthusiasts on the subject of birds. Whenever any one of them dis covered a rara avis it was the custom to have a consultation. Mark had been a witness of several of these bird in quests and had noted the delight the old men took in discussing a now found specimen. One day it occurred to him to provide the Hannibal orni thologists with a real circus In the form of a bird. He killed a crow atul also a barnyard rooster. Plucking out the tail leathers of both the crow ami the rooster, lie substituted the rooster's tail feathers for those of the crow, pro ducing a unique effect. When lie had the xpecimen nicely prepared, be went \o his father and, handing it to him. said: "Here, father, is a very curious bird I shot. 1 thought you would lie inter ested in it." The old gentleman ga::ci1 u,".on the specimen with astonishment. That evening the ornithologists of llaunibal were assembled in Mr. ('lemons' par lor. The rare specimen was put before them. The discussion was long and learned. The opinions expressed were various. One thought the bird was an offshoot of the bird of paradise fam ily: others had equally ridiculous no tions as to its ancestry, l'.ut there was one who refused to be swerved by the peculiarity of the bird's tail from the judgment, that it was of the crow fam ily. "Why, just look here," he said, lift ing the bird by its tail feathers. lie got no further. The feathers came out. There was a quick closing of a door. Mr. Clemens started to leave the room. "Gentlemen," he said, "please excuse me a few moments. I will see Samuel first and explain later." EATING FISH. It is not good form to ask for a sec ond helping of lisli. It Is considered extremely bad form to use a knife in dissecting fish. A little modern fish knife, with an in genious fork arrangement on one side. Is now made. A bit of lemon is served with broiled and baked lisli, and it is in correct form to use the lingers in expressing the juice. Potatoes are considered a propcrac cessory to the fish course. Sliced cucumbers, with plain French dressing, are also served. With a boiled lisli the potatoes are also usually boiled, cut Into bits or scooped out and garnished with a little melted butter and chopped parsley. Never use the lingers to separate tlio bones from the eatable portion of fish. The bones must, be evaded with such dexterity as one can command without other aid than such as a bit of bread held in the left hand may furnish. Gmiibllnur* The writer once spent a Saturday afternoon in the study of a dignitary of the church while the ecclesiastic strug gled in vain to frame an argument against gambling to be presented to the congregation on the morrow. lie aban doned the attempt. Far be it from a literary journal to assert powers the possession of which the professionally religions are fain to disclaim, yet with submission we even venture to believe that at least one cogent and effective argument lies against all forms of gam bling—one, namely, based on the truth that wealth, great or small. Is a trust and therefore may not be put in risk. The moralist may declare that the gambler gets, or at least wants to get, something for nothing. Men will laugh. They know better. The winner gave liis chance to lose for his winnings. For Ids losses the winner got his chance to win. But ask the speculator Whether he would gamble with trust funds held by htm for orphans and then suggest to him the one great truth that is seizing hold of men's conscience, the most hopeful sign in these perplex ed days of social unrest, that men are trustees of all that they call their own. —Current Literature. Life I nun ranee. It Is an Interesting fact that, what ever the reason may be, life insurance is much more popular In the United Slates than in any other country. In proportion to their numbers the Amer ican people carry twice as much life Insurance as the Britishers, five times as much as the Germans and eight times as much as the French. This Is partly explained by the large number of American policies Issued to serve other purposes than mere provi sion for the families of the insured. The scope of what may be called busi ness as distinguished from family in surance Is constantly enlarging. A nov el and Interesting recent development of it Is the insurance of the lives of Protestant ministers for large sums which are made payable at their deaths to their churches.—New York World. Where They Agreed. At the silver wedding of the Prince and Princess of Wales an English town wished to present an address, but there was a great discussion as to its word ing. For some time they could not agree at all. "Conscious as we are of our own unwortliiness" was univer sally condemned, but when some one proposed "Conscious as we are of each ether's uoworthlness" It was agreed to to a man. Ml MP#! The emblem of the New York City History club is the industrious little beaver, typical of tlie sturdy ancestors, surrounded by a circle. This beaver was part of the ancient seal of New Amsterdam. el THE TALE OF A DOG. A TRUTHFUL NARRATIVE OF CANINE VEhACiTY AND SAGACITY. is tlie Story oI' tin* Kent \V.ih 11r I :t tcil liy a I'remtrlivr Win* V.:is thirty to tlie Incident X« l'ui'ttier Ti'sMr.iony IN Xi'ccHNUry. A certain Nashville statesman la about one of the best story tellers in Tennessee, and ills repertoire includes a lot of good ones, fish and otherwise. On the truthfulness of some he will stake his reputation for veracity, but he tells one which he always prefixes Willi the statement, that it was told him liy a minister of the gospel, I)r. Hard well, who will he remembered here by the older Inhabitants as the assistant of I.)r. Edgar of revered memory, who "was pastor of the First Presbyterian church during the latter years of Gen eral Andrew Jackson's life and attend ed the old hero in his last illness. The story teller said: "Dr. Hard well used to visit my fa ther's house when I was a boy, and the story I am about, to tell you was relat •ed to me on the occasion of one of these visits. We were out on the veranda vmoking one evening after supper. The •doctor was fond of dogs and was a pretty good sportsman and naturally the conversation turned on this subject. "'Speaking of dogs,' said Dr. Iturd well, 'reminds me of a dog which be longed to a friend of mine in Mississip pi. 1 had been invited to hold services at a church near this friend's house and wrote him to meet: me at the sta tion, some six miles from his house, on the Saturday afternoon before Sunday, the day of the appointment. "'lie was on time with horses, and we started to his home. I noticed that a very handsome bird dog followed us, and. having heard that some one in that neighborhood owned an especially well trained trick dog, I asked my friend about it. "That's the dog," at the same time pointing at his dog. which had run ahead of us and was waiting at the forks of the road. 'I asked him to make him perform a trick. He got down from his horse called the dog and, taking out his pock et, book, held It to the dog's nose. lie then took out a silver half dollar and. walking some distance into the woods, raised tip a liirge rock and put the mon ey under It. We then resumed our Jour ney, and when probably half a mile away m.v friend called his dog and told him to go back and get the money. "'The dog, without the least hesita tion, started back on a run, and, my friend explained, as the rock was heavy the dog would be unable to turn it over, so would have (o scratch under it to reach the piece of money, and he would not probably get home before we reached there, it then being about three miles farther on to bis house. 'However, when we reached home the dog was not there. We ale supper, and still the (log did not come, nor had he put in an appearance when we re tired at about 10 o'clock. 'The next morning we got up about daylight, and, hearing a noise outside, my friend opened the door, and the dog rushed in dragging Willi him a pair of pantaloons, which he dropped on the tloor. 'Of course we were both mystified, but had not long to wait an explana tion. for shortly afterward a man who lived several miles from my friend's house rode up on a mule and Inquired 11' a dog with a pair of pantaloons in his mouth had come into the house. The dog at this moment came out on the porch, and the man said, "Why, there's the dog now." "'.My friend told his caller that the dog had really brought a pair of panta loons home with him, but he did not understand it himself. "The man said that late In the after noon the day before he found the dog scratching under a large rock near the road and. thinking he was after a rab bit. stopped and lifted the rock up, and, to his surprise, found a half dollar on the underside. 'He put the money in his pocket, and the dog followed him home. The dog appeared to be friendly, and the man petted him and gave him his supper. At night when the family retired the dog was put on the outside, but he kept up such a racket that no one could sleep on the place, and when the man opened the door to drive the dog off lie rushed into his bedroom and at once became very quiet, lying down near the foot of the bed, where he slept all night. 'Early In the morning, the man said, he got up and opened the window, and the Instant he did so the dog seized his pantaloons in his mouth and, jumping out of the window, lied. 'The man followed as soon as he could get his nude. '"Hearing this story, my friend got the pantaloons and on searching the pockets found the half dollar which he had hid under the rock the afternoon before.' "—Nashville Banner. FIRTB. After figs have been collected (hey are dipped In boiling brine and then dried on trays for from two to four days, according to the weather. The dipping Is supposed to bring the sugar to the surface and hasten the drying. After being dried the figs are placed in "sweat boxes," holding 2,000 pounds sach, where they remain for two weeks. Then they are washed In cold salt wa ter to remove all dirt and are packed by women and girls In half pound, one pound and ten pound boxes in layers, being split preliminarily with a short bladed knife. Lake Mo rat, in Switzerland, has the curious property of turning red every ten years owing to the preseuce of cer tain aquatic plants which are not kuown in auy other lake in the world. iJfifSiBllS Tlie Cniitaiii of r.n OeL-an Line?. Nowadays the captain Is the host of the ship. He is no longer the gruff, rough seadog in a pea jacket of years gone by. He must observe some of the social amenities he must talk to the passengers now and then when the weather is fine lie must take his seat at table when lie may he timet be a kind of diplomat also and possess wit and tact and a patience sublime lu? must see that no jealousies develop among the passengers. I have been told of the very obliging captain who, to please the lady who asked to be shown the equator while the ship was in southern seas, pasted a hair across the large end of a spyglass and told the lady to look. And the lady through the glass declared she could see the equa tor "as plainly as A 1! C." One other polite captain I have heard of—one who directed an otlicer on the bridge to "do as the lady wishes." when the lady re quested that the captain steer the ship over to the horizon so she could see what the horizon was like.—Captain Jameson in Collier's. A Korean Prison. The gale was wide open, and the courtyard was full of prisoners,and the surrounding buildings were old and tottering. I asked the chief, whom one of tho two or three listless attendants called for us, why the prisoners did not run away. "Oh," he replied, "they would be caught anil beaten again and kept longer. Now they will get out soon." I tut as I looked at them I saw they did not run because they could not. Tho life was beaten out of them. The keepers brought the heavy red cord with a brass hook at the end and trussed up a mail with it to show how the beating was done and then brought us the stilT rods with which victims were pounded over the shins and thighs until the beaten spots were sim ply masses of fostering rottenness. There was a. room, black, foul, leprous, in which the men were fastened in tho slocks. Tlie 1'laek llole of Calcutta was scarcely less merciful than this.— Ladies' Monthly. S»niMti1n Dcnnert. The tribes on the coast of British Co lumbia hold a festival In tho autumn, the crowning item of which is tho par taking of a few spoonfuls of a bowl of soapsuds. They gather in the dingy huts, which are liimg with the staple food—dried salmon. For light they stick into tho ground, head downward, a silvery fish about live inches long, set fire to the tail, and they have a torch, for the fish burns steadily. After eating of various unsavory foods then: comes the great, treat. This Is a bowl of a frothy, soapy mixture, obtained by crushing In a not overclean manner tho sapoliti, or soap berries, and squeezing out the juice. This Is as much like soapsuds as It is possible to conceive. The natives sip it from spoons of black wood, neatly carved, of which they think a. great deal. The *lil am a n*h DrcMfl. Those who understand tho subject have to admit that when It comes to tlii! question of rational dress the Chi naman has very much tho best of It. American clothes are not made for the performance of much stooping or do mestic gymnastics, but: the Chinaman, in Ids loose, easy fitting clothes, Is as free to stoop, jump, run or turn hand springs as a small boy In bathing. In a Chinese suit of clothes you can lie down and sleep with the same amount of comfort that you can stand up and walk. ('oisictH of tlie Pnflt Century. Dining the. nineteenth century 235 new comets were discovered as against till in the eighteenth century. The nineteenth century also beheld a great er number of large and brilliant com ets than did its predecessor. The finest of these were the comets of 1.S11. 181.1, ISTiS, 1S.X1 and ISSU. In the year 1800 only one periodical comet was known, Ilalley's. Now many are known, of which at least 17 have been seen at more than one return to perihelion. Uoutul lo Knjoy Ilorwolf, "Now, dear," said mamma, giving final Instructions to Klsie, who is going to take tea with a playmate, "when you are asked if you will have something, you must say, 'Yes, thank you,' anil if you don't want it you must say"— "Oh, you needn't bother about that," Klsie interrupted. "I don't expect to refuse anything."—Philadelphia Press. Two Fiicctl Iliibien. "Not that deceit is a born instinct, but some babies must be two faced in the cradle." "Oh, that's not possible." "I don't know. I know a child that looks like its rich aunt when she comes on a visit and is tho exact imago of its rich uncle when he happens to be there."—Exchange. Km DiHlcnJty. Phillips Brooks once gave a new ver sion of the Jonah story to a wondering skeptic, who said ho doubted whether a whale's throat was largo enough to swallow Joliah. "There was no dilli eulty," said the bishop "Jonah was one of the minor prophets." A Longr AVnit. Katrine—I was reading this morning of a man who cookcd his own break fast for 13 years. Max—Ho must have been very hun gry when ho finally got it done.— Bo in be. A medical Journal declares that len tils are not only richer in proteids than peas or beans, but are also more digestible. Tho only two great European capitals that never have been occupied by a foreign foe are London and St Peters burg. NO. 10 A Slight Deficit. A weather stained, creaking wagon drew up In front.of a photographer's establishment in a Georgia town. Be neath its body a lean hound came to a I standstill. A man clad In Jeans trou I sers, homespun shirt and guiltless of coat or vest emerged from the vehicle's anterior extremity. Settling bis soft slouch hat on the back of his bead, he I adjusted his lone gallus and gave the lines to the wife and baby within. Be hind these, from the dome of canvas beyond, peered, big eyed and solemn, numerous editions of the lord and mas ter. Entering the shop, the stranger paused before a case of sample photographs and, pointing to one, said, "Mister, what d'ycr charge fer takln plctcrs llko that?" "Three dollars a dozen," replied tho clerk. Thrusting his hands Into his pockets, ho turned thoughtfully toward the wag onful of offspring. "Waal, I reckon I'll have tor wait a bit," ho said softly to himself. "I ain't got but 'leven."— Harper's Magazine. One ]*UHaciiffcr Too Sltny, A gooil story is going tho rounds of the offices of the Metropolitan Street Railway company concerning the won derful presence of mind displayed re cently by a new conductor on one- of tho company's trolley cars. This par ticular car was bowling along up Broadway recently when it was balled and boarded by a company inspector. Tho official hurriedly counted the pas sengers In tho car and found that thoro were nine. Then he cast his eye up to the register and found that there had been only eight fares rung up. He dis closed his Identity to tho new conduct or aud called attention to tho discrep ancy. Slowly aud painfully the new band counted over his passengers and then scanned his register. "Bogorra, an you're roight, sir," he said and promptly stopped tho car. "Say," ho demanded, addressing tho passengers in an authoritative man ner, "wan o' youso fellows'll hov to git off the car-r."—New York Times. Clennlnir Oil I'ntntlnffi. An art journal suggests raw potatoes to clean oil mlntings. Have a few po tatoes at hand, each cut in halves. Tho fresh surface is dampened slightly with cold water aud used to rub tho canvas. As tlie potatoes show soil tho surface is sliced off and the rubbing continued. This process will create a little lather, which should be wiped off as fast as it accumulates with a clean, damp sponge. Wheu tho whole canvas is cleaned, it should be washed over lightly with clean water from which the chill has been taken and finally the water carefully wiped off with an old clean Bilk handkerchief. Itaw potatoes to clean paintings are frequently in hear say evidence, but this description of tho process may bo of value. It is sug gested by way of reasonable caution, that tho experiment should be tried first upon a canvas of trifling valuo and upon one corner of that. The Collection. While lecturing bis congregation rather strongly on a recent Sunday about slack attendance aud small col lections a minister of a church in aa English city used the following elo quent and forcible sentence: "Yes, brethren, our collection of a little over £3 last Sunday Included no fewer thaa 500 halfpennies. Wo all know about the widow's mite, and I am suro we aro very glad to receive it but I don't think there aro COO widows in this con gregation Witness My Iland. In tho early days only a few schol ars, priests aud clerks knew how to write. It was then customary to sign a document by smearing the hand with Ink and impressing it upon tho paper, accompanied by the words, "Witness my hand." Afterward the seal was in troduced as a substitute for the hand mark and was used with the words above quoted, the two forming tho sig nature. This 13 the origin of the ex pression as used In modern documents. Jimt OK Dad. Educated Egyptian—You have no wonderful hieroglyphics in your coun try, sir: no mysterious Inscriptions, no undecipherable relics of an ancient lit erature whose secrets tho wise men of the world have tried for uges to dis cover. Tourist—No, wo haven't any of thoso things, but (brightening up) we've got our "railway guides."—London Fun. Novel Ammunition* During tho sieges of medieval times It was very common for the beleaguers to throw from their catapults and oth er military engines dead bodies of dogs, swine, together with pieces of horse flesh aud similar carrion Into tho city, or castle besieged in order that tho do fenders might by the stench of this putrid it j' be forced to a surrender. Well Concealed. "What was tho matter with Troud foot that he made such a fool of him self last uiglitV" "Oh, somebody had offended him un wittingly, aud he was standing on his dignity." "Oh, was he? I wondered what had become of it."—New York Commercial Advertiser. One Way of Looking at It. M.tbel—Miss Small Is treating- poor Johnstone shamefully! Ethel—Oh, really, I haven't heard anything. Mabel—Haven't you? They say she's goiug to marry him.—London King. Blood oranges ore sometimes arti ficially produced by Injecting a few drops of claret through a small aper ture In the rind.': X-T