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OTTAWA FKi:i: TKADHK: SATURDAY, XOVKMHKK 22, 1873.
CREAM OF OUIM.XCIIANUKS. Tlio editor of the Puntiue Fr-e Tnulrr feels hilarious. " If any body atk9," nays lie, " wliy wo wear such fino lint mid such fine hoots, we would Inform them that there vim uii cleetiou last week; also that if Al. Fellows kocs h.irc footcd and Jim Morrow bareheaded, they do it on their judgment. Whoop!" John Paul says many absurd thin, but some times his opinion is sound. For instance, when he say : It is sound business judgment to avoid the vicinity ot any animal whose skin is so short that li can't drop his ears without raising his heels, the more so if ho happens to be so particularly lively that he can no through both motions at uce. A young lady in Lancaster, Pa., has the initials Y. M. C. A. engraved ou one corner of the card which she hands to somo of her gentlemen visi for. At, first thev think she belongs to the Young Men's Christian Association, but it is not long before they discover thut it means "You may come again!" Those who are old enough to remember the lirtt spelling books will remember the child btartling assertion that In Adam's fall YA'c sin-ned all. The puroily on this has been long coming, but Josh Hillings has linally drawn the bead after this fashion: In Adam's sin W'c all jined in. A Cincinnati widow advertised for every (.'hiist- iaii in the city to send her ten cents. She realized twenty cents, indicating an unexpectedly large number of Christians in that city. The doctrine that no Mil can escape puni-h-j inent is fortilied by the fact that the Washington riroitirlr (Harlan's paper) has discovered that " the Kcpuhlieuii party is corrupt, and thai the people are going to weed out the unfaithful pub lie servants."' It must be a powerful scent of brimstone, that can get into Harlan's nostrils. The question with which Vlcksburg, Mis., is now wrestling, is to ascertain how much more dangerous than a burglar Is the average Vicks burg negro policeman. One of them recently attempted to capture a burglar, and before the job was finished shot a horse and two citizens. The burglar escaped. Speaking of President (i rant's; Thanksgiving proclamation, the Cincinnati JCniuiirr is ungen erous enough to intimate that the revived de'mo crafs of that state will celebrate the day with less N'oycs than usual. Miss Partington writes to her aunt that the bridal wave, which the papers talk so much about, has no', touched that town for six years. liaging hereabouts. This county is averaging nearly 25 licenses a week. Someone says: " Kvery cord of wood given to the poor is recorded in heaven." That may bo why the average word merchant gives so seldom to the poor. He dislikes tic risk of that re-cording above. The King of Ashantee, says an English corres pondent, lives in state with three hundred and thirty wives. The size of the shanty is not men tioned. The Springllcld Y.ycMV thinks that "probn bj'y a surgical operation will not be nccc-aary to gl the notion out of Mr. Allen (i. Thiiruian's head that he iin danger of being the next pres. d. nt." The Mt. t'armel f.'.o ttr says a justice of the i'.vv of that place was li.ully smitten by a neigh !." r'- w ife. Mie did it w ith a rolling pin. H is the correct thing in liritish Columbia to walk about with chunks of gold quartz in your pocket worth a lew hundred dollars apiece. Jt knocks the poetry out of it tremendously to reflect t ff.it nearly all the pretty girls one sees are but incipient mother-In-laws. it has become a question as to whether a phrc- noiogist can tell what a barrel contains by ex iuiiiuing its head. I he l-abaiion, hy., SUnMM reports the birth of a child in Taylor county with a well developed cjiignoii, of a haril, fleshy, substance on the back of its head. This is an early attempt at fashion A man named (Jin, nt I.a Crosse, petitioned to Jiuvu his minio changed, because If he don't his adored threatens to make a (iiu-sling. A baby was born on u street railway car in St Uuis. If i1, is a boy it oujrht to be christened il'os.cur.-HWW. Uu. as It's a girl the mother has determined to l:ame it Car-line. Commercial. Jlvvus a bobtail car, and the boy's name is Hubert Hale. St. Imuix )emnrritt. No, it was a Dolly Yardcn car, and hi 4 name is Jkiinp-hrcy. The obituary poet of the Philadelphia ,n.T Las reached his climax. Any body that can read the following without shedding tears, can't he human. The picture of a little boy climbing the golden -lairs without his trousers on, is Iran s cmkiilly beautiful and touching: " hay aside the little trousers, 'that our darling use to wear, He will never on earth want them, He has climbed the golden stair." .)ir;nt of the recent escapade of Anna Dick inson, in reaching her lecture bland in Cincin nuti but an hour behind time, in spite of a rail road sinaslmp when still, like Sheridan, "forty miles away," a cotcmporury docs her up as follows: Miss Anna Dickinson has found a new way of stimulating iqq.lmise. Heretofore tears, the Kttuunc (.aline production, havo been very ellce liveiu her discourses, but even these lose their virtue after a while, and so Anna has taken to u i w method. Sh(. miShC4 a lriill OI1 tll(. evening .l her lecture. IIoimi Mic. Kit down ami weep over btr mi-fortunes? Not a bit of it. She "charters . ',' o ' I1"' 'l, a'"cr, snd u fast horse," mid a little before U o'clock appears upon the stage v. t i a quick, tragic stri(,., nu.,ia.d f;ll.(. aishevel cd hair, rubber bi.oU, and a look which seems to --y, 1 staim upon u,t throne."- Wa,hi:jl..n .star. 'Something's broke loose. i Maille ay a . olemporary. We M.uuld think there had, and it seems to bo chiefly the marriage tie. Forty three applications for divorce wire tiled iu York and Si in CuuilM-rhuid county during October. There teems to lie too much marrying there ami too Pttle marriage. Opt. Hoversti.k of the ;, k l-lail . !!.:!.. I, ......... I. . ...1.1!.... 4:.. - . ... - - - I"--" . 4i ouiuu i b mceiiiig in tiiiiva I tn other day, wherein he stated that he .i w niiethiiig about war, he was " in the army .,f the Potomac tu year and had been married four jcar-,." The captain a little l aid headed. The OgI county (-uarJ publishes the names of the tardy pupils in the public ch.mls, ,,d threatens to follow it up with publishing the """ "' '1 Mib-crihers that are tardy in pay. ,T.g up. The railroad companies have got to lumishing tkth pamiigcr roach nilh copies of the bible. The arrangement would t- complete if thry fti.-ni-li.d each passenger ith an accident in urarue ticket, and atatioued a chaplain every tnty or thirty mile along the road, lady In Pennsylvania Las been making mum u npiriu.enU. Hav'-ngtufUned the nhe'.l ifg itli inegsr, the inserted the rug in a "ou demijohn, placed it In a hatching I lo! the pout-sac now a l.alf 'ron i tlm uriou coop. The destination ot t wonder is the X'jo'icical rard. u ol Philadelphia, but she promises to raise an Amer ican eagle in a similar manner for the Centeii ulal Exposition. We submit, however, that a demijohn la not a tit homo for such a bird. A Louisiana man has discovered a new way to hunt aligators. Ho put two ounce can of uitro glycerine into a chicken and places it where thu ugly fellows come folding round, and they go for that chicken, and there Is a small earthquake snd one less aligator. A young lady of Terro Haute, Ind., has proved her ability to support a husband by shooting over one hundred quail this season. .Tonka, re marks on this that he has shot over a thousand quail this season himself, but he never kills any. H 3 shoots over them always. The advice of the old farmer to his boys was eminently sound. Said he : "JJovs, don't you ever spcckelate or wait Tor things' to turnup. You might just as well go and sit down on a stone iu the middle of a ineil- (lerwitha pail 'twixt your legs, and wan mr a cow to back up to you to be Milked. We had a paragraph hist week about the tribu lations of a St. Paul editor. The locals up that way seem to fare no better. Here is bow one of them sighs: " I wish 1 was an Indian, A Modoc or a lie; I'm tired of hunting items, With the mud above my boot." The big republican scare in Minnesota at the November election didn't prevent the editor of the Minneapolis llmibl from saying spitefully: "Farmer Donnelly has aboil on his nose. He attributes il to the iiiliiiiui.-trutio'i of President lira n I." A (irecnlield, Mass., gbl, returning I e re cently from a lecture on electricity, got caught ill a thunder storm, and promptly pulled oil' her hoop-skirt, not caring to risk herself in..ide that hind of a lightning conductor. I he Vermont (l-iiltom t ouuty ro-ou.v an nounces that it vv ill " exchange u few tinnier lines for finire-rihs or sausage. Ten rents a line." California and Nevada are nut the only country where things have outlandish mimes. The "I'nitcd Idiots" is the name of an amateur musi cal association existing in "Skunk's .Misery" and "Scallawiig Centre," two interesting v illages in the town of Corinth, Yt. A pnet who writes with a metallic bister in a Texas paper, sings: "There sat one day in splendor, A maiden young ami fair; With beautiful soft blue eyes, And gold and silver hair. Now, this fair young maiden Had a mission to perform Upon this terrcstial globe." The maiden's "mission" was specie payment. We know it by her hair "gold und silver." A Chicago lady complains of the unremitting love of her absent husband. He never sends her any money. Advertisliitf In Hull Times. The Milwaukee Wim'onsin relates the fol lowing: "Alter the crash of 'o7, when everybody almost was scaled to death and the croakers predicted that the country hud gone to smash, a dry goods house was opened iu this city, which proceeded on the principle that in or- der to reach the hoarded money in the pock ets ol the people the proprietors must sell ut very reasonable prices and advertise very largely. They worked vigorously upon this principle. Their brother merchants who did nut advertise piedicutt d that the new coiners would be ruined, i they paid too much for advertising. .Nevertheless, they persisted, in n single year iiiey puul live niinureu dollars in iroll to the ihniu II i.mm nin for advertising, and at the end of seven years they retired from business with a for tune of one hundred thousand dollars, while oilier merchants on the sumo street, some ol them opposite their store, had failed." We remembei a similar instance among our own advertisers in the panic ot 1Sj7. merchant continued his advertisement in our columns through the whole period of stag nation, and notwithstanding many predic tions that "it wouldn't pay." His testimony ultervvurd was Hint his sales were steady and liis profits satisfactory, while many a mer chant around him who "couldn't nllord to ad vertise," saw his clerks stand idle behind the counters. A financial panic does not mean that no one has any money. 1 here is plenty ot mon ey in the country, and those who hoard it are just the ones to be eager lor the "bar gain" which a fall iu prices holds out. Hut to buy they must know where to buy, and the merchant who tells them will receive their cash. .V- '. AVe. V.v toll n .Morilisev. Saratoga correspondent of the Hoslon Jinirnul gives this picture of Mr. John Mor- rissey: On the piazza ol the Congress can be tscen any day a large sized and heavy moulded man, all alone. lie seldom speaks to anybody. His voice is peculiar. He speaks as if lie had n chronic cold, lie wears a white llaniiel coat. His hair is black and crisp; his nose d tormed. as if broken in some atlray. I his man is .Morrisey. A lew- ears ago he was a prize lighter. I'lieii he kept a groggery in Troy. He came to New York in desperation to mend his for tune. New York was ruled by roughs. Arm ed rutlhma went from ward to ward smashing up ballot boxes und often the heads ot the men in charge. In one ward John A. Ken nedy resolved to put an end to this outrage. Morrissey was sought, and engaged to strike back for a consideration. He "was suc h a desperate looking tellow Hint .Mrs. Kennedy was afraid of him and advised he1- husband to have nothing todo with him. He organiz ed a band of roughs and took possession of the polls. A harder set was never seen. Al noon a wagon load of desperadoes drove up. Inspector Carpenter was on duty. "Can I go in. Cap?" asked the leader. "Yes ; walk in." Morrissey and his .V) associates said; "Cood morning." "I guess you don'l need me here," said the leader, ami drove off. Morrissey won. With his wages he boti'ht a clean shirt und a tie. cent suit of clothes. He h now a million aire, lie helps all who wish to tight the li ger. He doesn't play. He may swear, but no one bears aim. So one goes to bed o late without leaving Morrissey up. No one gets up so early but they find him quietly walking around as il lie nan n enjoyment and mi interest in Saratoga. He is hand in glov w ith Uu heavy men of Wall street, lie has been to Congress and can put "Hon." lo his name. lie is the kingpin of Saratoga. Men of parts allow him to !ap them on the back. lie holds the coiiiliuslore's horse when he returns t mm a ride. Prominent persons arc "proud" to know him. Half New Yolk has had legs tinder his mahogany. W hen he was in Congress lie refused to be introduced to anyUidy. Ilis uniform answer was: "lam here at my desk ; if anyone w isle s to see nir, lei In nt come here." One of tin- most atrocious instances of 'stealing the livery of heaven to serve the dev il in,' lias come to light in (Jrccnwh h, Cotiu A burglar who had been operating pre'ly ex-teii-ivt ly in Hi.it village was caught the other night, and found to be the "Hew John Morc" who had Ikm h edifying the good people, with lectures n "Science and the llildc." and who preached on Hie Sunday In-fore Imm the t t "(jo ye hIm-iiI doing go." How I'lna Are Made The wire is of the size suitable for ordina ry pins, and the first thing required is to straighten it. This is done by placing it on a red, whence it is passed between fifteen or twenty polished steel rollers, arranged much like the keys of a vh lin, the last two being placed together, so that as the wire passes out from between them it becomes perfectly straight, and is wound loosely on immense spools. These spools are hung on pegs until they are wanted nt the machines. They are then placed on a standard, and the thread of wire conducted into the machine. The first thing which this ingenious little automaton does is to cut the wire tins required length. In a moment afterward the pin falls into a Tcssel at the bottom, complete. To describe the process by which this is accomplished would take more time than is required to manufacture enough pins to last an ordinary family live years. ' Almost at the instant that the w'ire is cut, a little hammer Hying in and out so f ist that it can hardly be discernible, strikes it square on the end, and literally "puts a head on it." Another linger pushes it sideways on a smooth plane under a num ber of "cutters" so arranged that the lower half of the pins are nlled swiftly underneath them to the extreme right of the machines. These cutters make about 4,000 revolutions a minute, and are so constructed as to point the pins while they hurry them toward the receiver. Looking at the lows of pins com ing swiftly over the iron apron one is puz zled to know what suddenly becomes of them They are constantly approaching but never reaching you. Hut at the end where the line terminates is a tin spout, and su quickly do the puis disappear into tins, that one does not sec w hat becomes of them until a close scrutiny reveals it. At the end of the spout air small tin vessels holding a qirirl or so, ami beside them large vessels. The small pans me used to first receive tiie pins in or der that it the machines get to working badly and making imperfect articles, the fact may he discovered before they have become mix ed with larger quantities, which would neces sitate the rejection ol all in the same vessel. When the pins drop into these pans they are, as belore indicated, complete, so far as the form is concerned, but they are not yet ready for market by any means. Tin y are taken into another room where are two'large revolving casks. These casks are partially filled with saw dust, and into them is also: emptied a bushel or two of pins. Afier a I thorough shaking lip here the pins and saw dust together are taken to still another room, where they are run through a fanning mill so much like one used for cleaning grain that a casual observer would not note the dif lerence. Having been separated from the sawdust here they are carried to large tanks, into the bottom (If which arc placed perforat ed blocks of tin. Alternate layers of pins and tin blocks are placed in these tanks until they arc filled, when the whole mass Is boiled by steam. This gives them the silver color noticed, and is a sort of galvanizing process, which keeps 'hem from corodin. When tnken out of these tanks they are emptied in to a large sink ami washed. Thence they are again taken to the revolving casks, wnere the- go through the process of polishing and drying, and then through thu fanningmill again, llicy are now ready lor th paper, md ate taken to a room presided over by young ladies, each of whom has a formida ble looking machine at her side, looking like a cross between a pair of counter scales and loom. About two feet above the table where the operator sits is a hopper tilled with pins, ami shaken by machinery like the hopper in a llouring-mill. J he puis are shaken out of this hopper on to an inclined iron plane, with a groove in the center just large enough to permit all but the head of the pin to fall through. This plain1, with the groove in the middle reaches downward to un iron rack, on which are in dentations just large enough to receive tiie pins. This rack is moved on a lever, rmd as it is pushed along, at the end ol the groove containing the pins shaken out of the hopper, a row of them fall into the indentations on the rack. A movement of the lever throws the rack to thu left of the plane, and directly over a strip ol paper designed to receive them. The movement of another lever drives thu row of pins quietly and evenly through the ridges on the paper, and the process is again repeated. Of course all this is done in moment. II we count briskly, one, two, three, and calculate a row of pins for every time we utter "three," we have a pretty good idea ot the time required tor this part of the work. Having got the pins in the paper, nothing remains but to fold and pack them, when they are readv for market. Vvi: Chi- rmjo 1 nttrU''(im. J'ne (iovrrnor of Wisconsin. Hon. William I J. Taylor, the Oovcrnor- elect of Wisconsin, is a man about lifty-tive years of age. He is a native of New Eng land, but has resided for over twenty-five years in Dane county, W isconsin. During ill that time jie lias cultivated a large tarm in me town or . ottage urove, aimui six miles from Madison. Pursuing this occu pation with unremitting industry and with the thrifty lialii's that vindicate his activity, he has prospered in a high degree, and is the possessor of an independent fortune. He has served in both branches of the Legisla ture, is one ol the active trustees ot the in sane Hospital, and is President of the State Agricultural Society. In till these positions he has shown great capacity for public affairs, and has offered abundant assurauce that his administration will bo characterized bv rigid economy and absolute integrity. Mr. Taylor became a (iranger very soon after the incep tion of that movement, is Master of a Local Grange, and was one of the first to advise the abandonment of the democratic parly, and the organization of a party on a new and re formed bas.s. In person, he is a man of large and rather unwieldy frame, w itli a rumple ion bronzed by a long series of harvest suns, nnd with hand's that earned their callous long before the Fanners' Movement made plow handles fashionable. Doubtless he will be something less than a handsome figurehead for the liadgcr State, but he is quite certain to be very' much more than a figurehead. Chii'il'jo Tinn. tiKNKUAI. Pll.l.sr.l ItV'S sketch of the life of the late Ni.itYK In a Ccncral Amos l'illsbui v. the Albany Krpns relates the fol lowing interesting incident: 'About that time ( INi'.') bis father was appointed Super intendent of the Connecticut State Prison, his son being the deputy; but in iy:0, his father having resigned. Amos I'illsbury was tendered the position, although but twenty -five years of age. It was in this institution, aud almost a otiaiter of u century ago. that n d'-sprrate fellow named Scott was confined for lift ci n years. He was determined not to work, nor submit to any of the rules, and shortly after entering the institution he near ly cut off his left hand so s to avoid doing any work. Hut his wound was immediately attended ; and in less than one hour afterward he was turning a crank with one hand. For this he threatened ! murder the warden on the first opportunity, and in some way get ting hold of a razor, he sharix lied it for the I dread puiposc. Hearing of this Mr. Pillsbu rv sent tor bun and commanded him to sliave him. He eyed the man steadily, seated Inmsell iu a cruiir and the operation tx-gan When the shaving vas finished. Ho- Supi rin tcndcnl said: I have tcn told that oii meant to murder me, but I thought 1 might i.ii.i ... m:.i i.i...- ...n.ir ...... ... tins, ...... in, ... j.. i. i-., ji.i. iimi, li-- l plied'thc r geru rated inan.compl. ti lv broken ' down. From thnt moment he Ik-cuiio- one I the ties! Ixh.ivfil rilinaU in thu- r.,fi,' i was tr at d well, nnd r nunii d in ;.i. jr . behavior until Mr I'illsbury left in 1:11. Hut when the new warden was appointed, Scott tried to escape and murdered his keeper. For this crime he was handed the following year in Hartford. A l"cvv I ileM (inccridllg -Modi-nil n Drinking, One of the best mutual life insurance or ganizations of the world to day, is a Loudon Temperance Company which has been in ex istence thirty-two years. The system of the company now is to in sure all classes of the community who are sound in health and addicted to no bail hub its or pursuits. At first it only insured abso lute teetotalers. It now insures very moder ate drinkers as well, liut it still keeps two classes separate in different ledgers. All pay the same premiums for the insurance, but the dividends are divided according to the re sults in each ledger account teetotalers dis tinct from moderate drinkers. This is the very best test, we take leave to say, and can la.1 applied, as to the effects of even the moderate use of alcoholic liquors, on health and longevity. Here are healthy no u introduced by the same agents, examined by the same doctors, the applications for insurance carefully scru tinized by the same board of teetotalers as directors, and w h it is tie' experience of the company ? The Actuary of the Tempi ranee Provident is Mr. .Sumuei lVuer. of world-wide lame in bis profession, lie i; not, himself, a teeto taler, but he is a mathematician, end figures don't err. lie has just reported to the direc tors the results of their hist year's business. According to the Carlisle tables of mortali ty, there ou';'n! to have been l:;; deaths among tiie lives of the b'i totalers insured in the books of lie' company. There were only f!0 deaths IT less than 'the tables calculated for. The amotiMl which ought to have been payable to the widows and orphans of the deceased teetotalers was $ l"l),"!tll in gold. The actual amount payable was only y:)."i,o!."). The saving in the temperance section, from low mortality, was, therefore, no less than .i."i,-i;."i out" of s::ii,'v".ii). The mortality claims among the teetotalers did not fully come to ."id per cent, of the amount calculated upon. On the same laws of calculation, by the Carlisle tallies of mortality, the death-rale among the moderate drinkers ought to have been "1 1 persons. The actual mortality was 2s- individuals, jemg h'S in excess of the ta bles. This is an enormous per rentage beyond the death rate of the teetotalers. The amount of claims ought to have been ijc.M 1,415, in gold. The actual claims for the moderate drinkers came to .fJo'.ST."), being s,fi 10 in excess of the sum calculated for iii the tables. This shows a fearful per ceutagc in excess of the claims in the Temperance section. The result of this is, that the teetotalers in sured in this Company receive from UO to r0 per cent, higher dividends than moderate drinkers insured iu the same institutions on the same terms. AVe, personally, receive those dividends, being lor several years now insured iu the same Company, and'therefore, write of what Is within our own knowledge. When Dr. George W. Beard asserted, in "Stimulants and Narcotics," that we have no statistics to prove that the teetotalers are healthier, or live longcrthan moderate drink ers, he only wrote iu utter ignorance of the thirty-two "years' experience of this temper ance life insurance institution, and of the equally satisfactory experience of other life companies of England, that insure the lives of teetotalers in a distinct section. A Friend ly Henelit Society (tectntaR which has many thousands of members iu the I'nited King dom and Australia, and which assures for sick allowances, weekly, and a sum at death, has just experienced the same results arising from the teetotalism of the members. The sickness and mortality among them has nev er tiecn as nign as among Kinnrcu societies which are non ti-i total, as the (Hid Fellows the Forresters, and the Druids of Kngland aud Ireland. Here arc facts and statistics, as to the mor tality of teetotalers nnd moderate drinkers respectively, which cannot be gainsayed or refuted. v e commend them to the readers of this Journal as proof positive of the advan tages of total abstinence from all that intoxi cates. I'hrenvltHjiwl Journal. Kxciteinrnt Among I turn i lois. From tlio Truckee (Nevada) Kepublican, The report was circulated yesterday that ubout fitty marriageable girls from Lowell were on the emigrant train on their way to Los Angeles, and would he in Truckee about midnight lust night. The report was true so far as the number of the girls nnd their coming was concerned. The excitement among the bachelors in this place, in conse quence of the news that such a precious in voice of freight was near at hand, was most intense. .Some of the most susceptible young men, who had been boasting of the superiority of Ka.stern girls ov er California daughters, went down on the 11 o'clock p. m. passenger train to IJoca, in order to come up on the emigrant train, and thus to have a lair view and make the acquaintance of some of the fascinating Lowell damsels. The train, with its feminine cargo, iiiriveii here shortly alter lnRinight. The bachelors who went down to liocitare mum over their trio. They got awtullv sold. There was scarcely a pretty girl in the crowd. One hint lost her teeth, another wa deal, ami several had glas evett, while the most prom ising looking one in the crowd was tongue- tied. One of the bachelors undertook to pay his addres.-cs to this, the most likely looking one of nil, and actually oli'cred her his hand, name, and a home in Truckee. She pucker ed up her mouth for half an hour in the vain endeavor to answer him, and probably would have succeeded had not the remorseless con ductor cried out ' All aboard:" and started up the train. A llto Ib.ovv. Last evening, while the chief engineer of t lung-tester was expatiating upon the benefits to be derived from the free use of his instrument, a cadaverous individual stepped out of the crowd and remarked to him : " Misti-r, do -you think it would help me any to Idow into that can?" " Yes, sir; certainly; it would expand your chest, give elasticity to your life. Why. you'd soon be able to blow ."00 pounds and "win the -1 prize." "Why, does a fellow gt t $1 whin he blows that many pounds V "Yes, Vir; wouldn't you like to make it trial?" with a knowing wiuk to the crowd. " I don't care it I do," said (Jreens, wulking around and planking down a dime of the greasy shinplastcr sort. Then taking the mouth piece in his hand, he made ready. He opened his mouth until the hole in his face looked like a dry-dock for ocean steamers, and began to take wind. The inflation was like that of the Oraphic balloon, but not so disastrous. That fellow's chest liegan to grow hikI distend until he re sembled a pouter pigeon more than a man. at which point he put the mouth piece to his lips ami blew with Midi lon e that his eyes rami! out and stood around on his check bolH'ito sec what was the matter but that t an top went up like a thesh, nnd the needle if the indicator spun aroumi iikc iiir uiium Ion a country school house door, until ltstocHl still at ..i0 pounds! The crow il clicmit nnu I.i... i ..i" ti,.. run n.iiil over the in uii. ai'". ,-. . . . i - -4 stamp ... w itli mutter of astonishment. Iut lim us px k' ttil Ihcm roolly. ami turning to the M ftal"t, i.iid : , , l.i r gt n!.-. thai am t noUiin., io i.o at all for a man who has been a bugler in a deaf and dumb asylum for seven years, like me!" Xar Orltiiux Ilinihl. "A llird in the Iluiid." The friends of Sam Dubbles know him to be as good hearted a man as ever lived. He has his faults, as who has not? and no one that annoys Mrs. Dubbles the most is that w hen tie comes up Mimmii siren in ine iiiiiioie oi the day he rarely gets home again until late at night, and then well, to put it mildly he is apt to be on the outside of a great deal of beer. Now, there is no woman in the city who has a pleasanter disposition than Mrs." Dub bles. Hut who can blame her if she some times allows herself to "go for" Sam in an en ergetic, way, when he comes homes late at night smelling of limburger cheese and lager beer? Sam says himself it is wrong, and he don't blame her, but for all that he wishes she wouldn't. Last Wednesday morning he was so much excited over the coming election for Treasure r that he came up town to buy some nails so be told bis wife and he met so many men who were able to tcH him who was to be elected next Tuesday, that when evening came he was outside more beer than w as really neces sary, and he knew it. "See here, Hill,'' said he to his old crony, my wife will make it hot for me when I get home, you bet. -Then don't go home," said Hill. "Think I'm a fool?" asked Sam. 'Can't I stand a blowing up better when I'm full Ihan I can when I'm sober?" That was a view of the case that had not occurred lo Hill, and he was compelled to admit that Sam was right. Then of a sud den a bright thought struck him. ' I say, ole feller," said lie, "why don't you take something home to the old woman V -Whafl! I take?" "Oh: 'fake a a::" and he began looking in the w iudows of the stores as if try ingto sec something. Suddenly his eyes brightened "take lier a bird!" They were opposite a store where a cage and bi'rd hung in the window. "liill," said Sam, "you're not such a cussed fool after all! I'll buy a bird." He went inside, asked what they would sell that bird and cage in the window for, and upon the man saying live dollars, paid the money and told him to "do it up." The merchant tied a paper around the cage so as to conceal the bird, and Sain went home happy. lie tore his wife could open her battery of words upon him, Sam rushed forward, say ing: "Here you nre, Mary. Now don't go to blowing when I've brought you home one of the best mocking birds to be found in the city," and he handed the cage to her. What woman could resist a speech like that when it was accompanied with something she desired. Mrs. Dubbles' face relaxed and she smiled pleasantly and lovingly on Sam, as she removed the paper. The bird seemed to be used to people for he paid no manner of attention to Mrs. I). She chirped to it but it did not even wink back at her. She could n't make the bird move even by putting her finger near the cage. She carried the cage nearer the light, and her face assumed an expression that was not peaceable. She made a rush at Sam who was half asleep In his chair fiom the effects of too much beer. "You wretched sot, to play such n trick upon me; I'll learn 'you to bring home :ui old stuffed bird, you "miserable loafer you!" and she smashed the cage over his head and pounded him in a terrible manner. Sam swears us soon as Ins lace gets Dciter he is going to see that man w ho sold him the bird. Toll d" L'tii'-r. A T'ittsburg ( I'a ) Judge recently instructed a Jury in terms which will meet a hearty en dorsement from that genial class know n us "jolly good fellows." lie said that if a man is going along the street and not annoying people, even though he be intoxicated, a po lice officer has no riirht to arrest him. He further held that a man would justified in of. offering all the resistance in his power to an odlcer if the latter attempted to arrest him simply because ho was intoxicated. In the town of Alfred, Maine, an old lady has been discovered whose singular good for tune it was to be born on the -1th of July, 1770. She is a Shaker, and her name is Lucy Lang don Xowell. It is another of her virtues that she has never been In a railroad-car, and it is proposed, if .she holds out so long, to send her, in a I'uiliniin palace-car, to adorn the open ing of the Centennial Exhibition in 170. pijjrfUatuous. Ttm nnserstgned. having made arrangement" "'""V!!!! Mill tor alln-ned time, takes inn oc asio., . . ... piil.llc generally, and lormer customers and frlcndi In rar- NOTHING MT 0001) (.00 DS . . -.. .-.r (Tnrnin natron. i'hliimg'M s ,de-nd.;V.V iomike price, .o a; to warrant . ' . i A . I..;. ns hut will exchange kjoods fr wool. as heretofore, on liberal terms. TO THE TRADE. I woiiie v that 1 nall mage specialty or Kene tlant t ami Klennels; mil . :i.i..v.ri,ii,i,..i,i,,.mi.-i, men s, Oneaklui. jen. ' ' "- and aocka. ...... Custom lardus? oiicitc!. iwhii wishing their Wool made Into mll mar depend on I avln- tnelr work well done aim retumeo promptly. W "inVent It rail In strong sheet, at . i triffmu fx nenle Plainly marki-d. -.1. Oreen.lytn. II: ;" also, ton ITg"-. nWeor Inlllals. U Intorunxl hy letter. WOOL WANTED, Kor wtiit h the Market Trice will he Puid. Sept. Sin n JKSSE (iUEEN. Havton, 111. TjTiV iTaT-S l I'OK Mlir..-Tlieua. I deisigned,.t'.. rl'T the following .lewrthed lauil. itnt-rt in the town ut tuutle. at'out ! ur nnU- northwest of Mreator.U wit: Ss'Uih U r. ol tl.e bW'-, and the ..nth i . sen-sol tlx- west half ot the S ol e-tlon . Im the W s ttieNK1, of Ni-ctlon I, all in 4nhi.31 north, of ranees east ..I the:i P. M. Th.re isontheunn eood tiulldlngr and a snail jnimu oiriw m i-n,i uu.. . irrn: also a living pntig o! wa'er. It one ol the nn.M drlr.le sti-ck Ian In Lafalie rountr. u the farm lH.un.ie.1 on the north 1 the Vermillion Liver. The whole . ot Oie same Is underlaid witheoal. I will !! the Mr loiiTrrtt wuh ten r .-ent. Inter.-t. f,ron wishing to uun-haxfeannot do l-etter ihau rail rd einil:ie the j.rvini (..lr..rrfun'haii4(. WALDUi.S. t.nUv sept Ji.ls.I-Jo-e' Ou toe tivn.lfrf. 1 . I l-J I A I s. net t.-r or n:e lila teiio:'ra.attU- rKkk If.Al'M;orr l k. Dayton Woolen lis trt. If ! W si Mu i'rnfcssijjttal (Tard. A TTCiR N E Y S. JAM K.h l 'JMrVIV Attorney and Uoun- , i H,U., tju,l"'"''ii mmlo kihI promptly jemlt. '!. Office In (.lover & C'ouk'i Woe. IUi lilce "UC. orldge, Ottawn, Illinois. ' , ovis fJ-:. W. W. lll.AKK, Atlormv at Law .-C'ol".ct,J'f. an1 '""vyiirlng fromptiy itenill to. Office n est or Court Holme, Ottawa, Ilia. eptl.V3-ly I. AVIOIOKfS. Attnrniw I 4i,i,...r, ;iiancery and Justice ot the l'ciue. 'lip ntalra in Delano's Block. maylT. i3-1t Hntnp mcKPoKii. T. a. nowix. a.T Hoi.nmr K KKIKI), 1IOW KN & MOLON-KV? Attor neys and ConnM'llor at I.awr, No. HOoiirt ilrect will promptly anddlUuently attend to all bumneiw entrusted iii tlielrearw. aprl9'Tl J. II. HICK. IIKOKIIRW BUee. k. WAi.nRinii. 1 1 M'l'iJ'l WAl4lll(l(K 1 b Attorneyat Law. outer In (Hover A Cook's Block, olnimli k'aSriiKBtore, Ottawa, Ui. aprln',:! ( il I AW. 1 1. 1 1 1( ;h II, Attorney and Counarlor V' at Law. OUlce-liooin No. 1 l'ost Offlce Block. Otta wa. IlllnolM. marl'TS W Ki:V, liOVI.lI ,fc KM IIOI.MIN. At tor lie j t' at Law, Lelanil ft llunlineir lilock. La Salle mrett, ,.,L,HW,,'i!L".- mars1?:! ' I .MxlAOKSOS, Attorney ot Law and No- ? 'my I'lilille.sin-ator. llllnnin. apr4.'ils I). 1 KiNI-H. t . w- iikkvvKR. I 0 l-.M .V IIH1..WKK, Attorney and Coun l wll. .nt nt I.rw, Ottawa, Ills. Ollke, Kuouis Nos. 1 i-crond iloor, Metropolian Block. kM19,'72 I -' I IN' 1-21 -l t .St Ill'Mi, Attorneys at Law. I) omen In the Lclimd ti llin.liiie.ll block, over Bui ke ft llceimti'H store, wcsMd Cot.rt House, ot lawn. 111. decli ".0 II I I IN ' I Attorney at Law. Otllcetn . Nultlnaer'a Block, corner of La sullc and .Main streets Willi Mayo ft VVIilmer. Ottawa. III. Jnnl,lS7'J O. B. KI Pill HUE. K. N. I.KWIH. ,"l.llll lMil-. .V M-MVIN, Atlurnejs and I i Ciuinticlors at .Law. (.lover 4 Cook's Bluck, Ottawa. 1,1 A A Iv .r. 'It VVI'Itl, Attorney ani I Counselor al Law. Oillcc, Mjm Wabiutti Ave., Chicago. OKO. M. I.KI.AVI), Cvui A. Lkland, Muster iu Chancery. Notary Public. T 10 I j A M.V 1 ' 1 ' I. Attorneys ut Law li Abstract Books of La Salle county. Olllce. N. VV. cot ' uei Court House Sipnire. over City Druu Store. Ottawa. III. I'll A Kl.KS IIMNIHIAIM). I1KKVI N HII.VKR. FRANK! IN roliWI. pl.AX II Al(l. -ILVi:i( A ('Oil WIN, A(- torneys nt Law, Ottawa, Illinois, practice In the I'nited States Clicultand I'istrlct Courts. In the Supreme Court ol Illinois, and In the courts ol La satleaud adjolulugr counties. HKNHYMAVO. JOHN 11. WIDM KR. MAYO si WIDMICK, Attorneys at Law. Ol liceln Nattltmcr'a block, corner ol La Salle and Main streets, front room ur stairs OOnwa. ' 'Jll 4. KTIIUIt J.OflvM'IMM. .Justice or the J l'eace, Ottawa. Ills. ( micron Columbus, a lew ill ors north ol the post olllce. Will lliauk bis trlcnils lor all bus! ness pertaining to his oillcc, um! cukhus to attend to !'. promptly. PHYSICIANS. II M. IIASCOM, 11. J., (Successor to Dr. i '.!). Fairbanks,) I'hrsuian anil Sureeon, Ottawa. HI. Offlce over City Dm Store. All calls left at theollltU' will receive prompt attention. either day or tilcbt. aUK'Jt.1 Dlt. M. ZUJI I Kit, HoiiKeopnthle Physician. Ottawa, III. Oilers hiH services to the friends of tnr Homojopathic system In ottau a. In all branches of Ills pro fession. Particular attention given to the treatment ol wo men ami children. OftieelnOlover&Cook's Block, fcblit-v DOOTOIl JlHI-:i'.iI:, Kclectlc Physician Surgeon and Obstetrician. OtTtee and llcsldence 41 La Salle street, second tloor. lironlc Diseases and Obstet rical Practice specialties, individuals and families treated bv the year. Nlnut calls answered promptly. JUtn; thu itunrMf. l ia'3 J.C. UATUKWAY. . H. CAMHFIRLD. JJATHKWAY & CAMPPIELB, Physicians and Surgeons. Special attention elven to Diseases of the Eye & Ear. and of the Throat, Lungs ft Skin. Dr. Camptliid Vflll be found at the office at all hours, day and night. Olllce over Strawu ft Powell's drug store. dec9-ly I) It. It. 1)VKH, Office Over Exchange Bank, sldcnce on Columbus Street, opposite the Congrrcatlnna Church, Ottawa, Illinois. novlS.'7t I ll. '. 1 1 A It 1 , Itivsictiin nnd Mirgenn, over No I I 119 Main street. Metropolitan Block, Ottawa, Illinois. .)uiiejtb. ls;i. Dlt.. I.. I. ItOYL 10, Physician and Surgeon, Ot tawa. III. Olllce ou Columbus street, two doorsnorti. 01 the Post Olllce. inurl'J I) M. MeAH PIIlIlt, M. I).. Physician U IV.. Burgeon, Ottawa, 111. (Mltce In post ollicc block. JnnejJS. P'.'; I i V. OltlliOM, Jiruegl-t, Bookseller and !!; i. tloner.otinwa. III. becoinl store in Mitungei soioc. itbsiilcol Court House t-ijuate. MJ l'21'MSSt. (Jerinr.li Druggist and Apotl'i . ciry, i wholesale and retail. 1 Main street. Ottawa, li! Importer of l'rus, Clieuuciils, French C'egulac Brandies Wines, otc. y DENTISTS. ji .-i. lioiiisit'r. DENTIST. Itootn over l'Mi-Ht rVntloiinl Ilanli, D it. a. JK MAllliKlt, DHNTIST, Offlce over E. V. Griggs' drug store. In Nattlngor's Jji'.'Ci Bouinl 4 aud 5. BAKERS. tkw i:iijArri iiakkky AM) I (lOMFKC'TlOXKUY. L. HES S , Successor to C. Vf . tir.nloid, t'ostolflcc litock, Ottuwa, IK. All kinds of Fancy and W edding Cake kept constantly ot hand aud made to order. Also crackers, und everything i.i the livkery Hue, as low as any house In the west Also a largo assortment of confectionery constantly o.i Land. Orders respectlully solicited. Ottawa, , Ian. 'Js, isw.-ltl L. I1KSS. Vjsw YoitK ua.ja.j:k v. THOMAS SI ENCKK. Main L '.reef, west of I.a Salle, Ottawa. Illinois. leti'.O-v WAKE HO USAl S' THAtVA .c IMMVKIili, Dealers in OK A IN AN I) I'UOOUOl. Warehouse and olllce on the s'.itecut, near the liw Ottawa. III. ltc-y SADDLES AND HARNESS. ,iicM':k. .Nt uni t's, nil mi , u Whips, Lushes, Horse-Collars, llallcrt, Iir dies, Martingale, tlhvikets, Nets, Currycombs, Cards, Brushes, Pennsylvania Oak-Tanned Harness Leather At Wliolcaalciind Itftall. v Impairing promptly attended to. Hi Ick lllock. corner ot .in ml i'.iiiimui sir near t hi river hridkte. Ottawa. Mam andColumhus bt., m Established In llv. March S. 1.3. J. (J. 5TOXE. Proprietor S' TUOIIEIi A 0JIIt No. 105 Main Street, Ottawa' Ills. V aniiluc turtri of VI styles ol e t t! f bi is. OLLARS AND FLV-NU& Aok'vpon hand all yleaof r.lanketa. ?hr:. ' l' Cairy-eiut. BrushK.ln lai t anything ("ii -ant in our On We man nurture our own collar, and nu.'';: a ; i.iMv r . HI c-llar that will ( hirt o' r i ooe A.H'n O.ird.if collar Mr:! " i" I. Hs re' r 1. '.s