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A Young Seaiustr "I urn lonrniiin- how to row U llll fllKlT I. Ill" mum; "I piii'li tbi' iircillc In mid out, mill miike die htllclii-s str.ine: I'm Bowltiif liliu-kt el nitclnv(irk for my "' Iv's lilt"' l'' l. . , , ,,, . , And Mhiiiiiiii mivh the wny I work .1 v. ill i"t Dike in( Imnr. It's over ini'l 'Vri -li) you know. How ovcl'-ii!,l-"vt'rhMu ht'ii hd' "1 have lu'cun liiuiflkc i t liit f; Muntmii liini--(l in ill" rlt:', And tiiisteil it with P'"'' tlin iul to slum- nic wIhtp to ww: ,. . It linn CriMMiiiwny ihlirlrcn on it fli pping Mindly liy a lining: . , .. 1 look ut thi'in when I lift t ii tvl, or tin- ncr.llc prickK, yon know. Ami Unit in Hip way 1 learn to bom With lieminin;,' dit-lii'K-ilo you know tlll'lll? "Neil 1 Muill li'arn l inn, ami ilnrn. niul Lin k- (I llrll, tOO, 1 (flll'':. It wouldn't take mo loirr. I knw, ir it wiiitii't for t ho thii -ml; Hut the knot keep roinlnir, nu le.-ililrr I t-liall Inn to c ontent Sunm lines 1 clip my tliiint'ii.' nil mi'l life my tliunili iiMoml! , . , When your tlimnl knots what il you Mi Awl due It turn all lii-ownisli too.' "My papfi, li '' a irrnit I I;,' man, a." much hix lrct llij-'li; 1Ip'8 more than torty, mid liH hair lias Rniy mixed with lilai'k: W ell, liei'iint ti'iv! lie can't l':.rln to ww u v o J I as I. , . , If he lows oira I. niton, Mum mil Inn to Hi itliack! , . Yon tiniKi n't think me jn-oud, .yon know, lint I am f even, and IraiiM-w!" -.Miny 1 II. liiiieeli, In HI. Nicholas. . TEE HISES'S INHERITANCE. Miss SaiuiuM was tlio only ilsiu;litrr of the person ko int'vilnlily culli'il Old Siimmix, in his imtivn town, that no uno calli'tl hint !v unv other name, ami un til his will was read, the fact that lie had been christened Ocliivim Cicero ftunmis was actually unknown toinany. However, he. had" uetn-'illy not lived as many rears p,s some who had not been thought ot' .'t lis Iiloi'e tii:'.n lllld-J lit ! (iio-njjeii. It was his ninuner, his lmt nose, and .sharp chin. lir- wrinkles in his fore head, and tin-sparse -ieyi-li hair that jave him tiie ri'inilntioii of u-n sue! lii Vices hail llil men llio.se oi jinin nu n, even :t live-and-lv.en'v. A p.'tiilent. saving hoy. he had xm' on to he a slinky yoini;r fellow and a miserlv elderly mini. Hi-, Ion--, .slnniil brown roil, hu i ha! Iv .-N'Ve-i ipe h::l, his wrinkled boois,' i,iid Ih irow.-ers, wliieh, always loo ionjrand full for him, fell overlhetii in iiinnv wrinkles, . seemed always to In; the same, and lie had worn lor live wars, haviii"' hM it uii; liiv ears iit'icr its pureieee. When his poor wife was ill lie tlui1- tor had ordered w:iie ami l)f( !-tc;i, I. lit lie had ivnioiis. ru; d: "li''e-:c.i ii up ' inn 'ii lie ami wine is vcrv dear aid a b id habit, al so, in v love. Don't urn think ou could' take a nice little ph'veof fried pork ami Mime old cid r intend:' Tim poor woman had .".lis v. -on d that she would "iry." l!ul after she. had trie I a week even Old N:uimii.s said that somelhiii"; niii-t he done. lie I'Oiijjht the wine and the beef, but belore the lea was made slie was past yu allow in. lie.- daughter eanie homo from her uncle's then and cried oer what too neie'hboi s told her, hut did not wiv. to her fat led' w hat. she intended to say; for in o-o iii; down stairs to hide, in I he cellar, the boitle of wine his wife had left as full as when il cane' into the house. Old Sammis tripped and fell, the bottle broke and cut his armv ami cnsipclas set in, of which he died, and the oirl who had wa-hed dishes in her uncle's kitchen to save her keep, found herself worth half a million. She was a small, thin pirl; she .stooji ed a ojood deal, and her nose and ehui nearly met; but she was neat and prim, ami as soon as the power was hers she tarnished the old house decently and hired ii servant. She niiht have cut a uasli and be come a fashionable woman, but the thought did not oecuL' to her. She fell biipps when she thought of Llie money tiiai belonged to her, nnd she euiiid Hot, bear to part with much of it. She was not oven able to brinp; herself to the point of buying a black bilk dress for her tuint.vho needed one sadly. Two or three hundred dollars would have Idled ti trunk over which those poor little shabby cousins would have danced with joy; but she could not ilo it. She could not have denied anyone food nnd medicine, or lire, or li";ht, or anything needful under her own roof, as her father had denied her mother, for she was only twenty-one and ti wo man; hut she had the old man's blood in her veins, and the miser's craving lurked in her houI. So the interest, of her money was slowly added to the principal, and she grew richer slowly but surely. However, she was not yet a miser, and when certain things in the way of table-linen were wanted, she went down to the city to buy them, and to make a call or two as well, and was hurrying tip l?roihvay front the ferry, when just as she passed Trinity I'liureh a man touched her on the arm, and said: "lSeg your pardon, lady, but haven't you lost a twenty-dollar gold piece?" Now Miss Sammis knew well enough that she had no gold whatever w ith'her but sin) hesitated before saying no. "I'm not sure. I must look," she said, feeling for her portomonnaie. "1 think I seen it drop outin your pocket when you took out your hand kerchief," said the man. Satin got the better of Miss Sammis. 'Then 1 must have lost it," she said. "Yes, lady; and it's honest of me to piiji it up for you. ain't it. when I might a Kent it? bind the vouny man. hold- ing out the money. "And you hadn't oughter begrudge me a dollar to get a incurs victuals with, had you, jest as a reward for honesty and to ouoouragc me?" whined the young man. "Well, no, I think I ought to give you something," said the miser's daugh ter. "I was thinking of a quarter, but " sho looked into her purse, and slowlv took out a dollar bill "but there!" nhe added with a thrill of geti tronity. "There!" The young man seized tho money, said "Thanks to you," and vanished around a corner; and Miss Sammis, with the joy of one who has drawn a prize in the lottery, hurried to the shop where she intended to purchase her table linen, made her selections, and offered the twenty-dollar gold piece, i , jermr fasti pnrrlorl It AvtflV in ft basket, tlllll i in five mimites.nioro h request mat sue .,.,,1,1 ojon Intn throfllee." was made. ' bv a suavo lloor-walker, and she found herself under arrest on a charge of hav ing tried to pass counterfeit coin. "Hut I'm Miss Sammis, of Honey town," explained the poor girl, amidst her sobs. "I'm rich, it is impossible to suspect me. 'If vou could remember where you got the money," said the policeman, as ho put her into a cab, "it would be boi ler for you. We are looking out for those very gold pieces, and women are rcttirer rid of tliom. and that makes it Cad. vou see." Anil so thev drove nwav from the lit tle crowd that had gathered about the earria"0. and Miss Sammis soon found liiTselt in the orosenci) of a justice of - - - i -the pence The shopkeeper made his charge, but she had collected her senses. She o-avo her address, the name of her pas tor, of her lawyer -inlliieutial persons in lloiieytown. "It is'niortit'ying to be charged with a thing," sh" .-'aid, "but you will soon lind that I aiu not connected with a ban I of eotinterfeiirrs. I inherited half a million of money a short t;me My father was Octrivim Cicero mis." Money coiiiluMlds civIliU, as .". oral Ihiii :'. I'.w none become? monsoh polite. The lawyer was ago. Sam- gen -im-ti lo Tlllllieil l: Olid eaiiU. in a tremendous stale id excitement. lie oiiesiioned liis client as to her tiosscs.-ioil of the llioiv-v, and her and her vague v that she was i lie i':olll mis- answers led him to I e desirous to i-hield pieion. oiiie "The ti i.u- 1. 1 1 1 v dial young lain , o : you on oath. Your you ih m,v to j.: son, but for vou;- lid. 'We will put guild heart makes ; an un worthy per wn sake wo must put vou on oalh. " And so the thin lips of Miss Sammis kissed the llil'ie, and the questions were !!.--k .1. I Wl:r;v did ou get this gold piece?1 "From a man on I lie si root, j "What wa.s t!ie man's name?' 'I do no; ktn.w. "Whv iii I he give it lo yon?" "He :' t me if I had lost it." "And .on said?'' "At lirst I said 1 did not know; their, perhaps; and I gave him a reward for finding it- He askcl for it." "Had you dropped il ?" "No."' "How d'd you know?" "I I i'. uitrlil no gold with me." ' It. is a vry common trick, and gen erally Micoods," said the judge to the lawyer, "ii is clear that Mis.i Sammis did not know the nmnoy as counter feit." The law ver look the l 'dv hoin . On the way they scarcely .-poke; hut alone in her own room, Miss Sammis, over whelmed with shame, wept herself ill. She liiijd have felt only indignation at a false arrest, but she knew in her inmost soul that when she falsely claimed that money, she was at heart a thief. She began to think as she hail never thought hefore, and she understood that she inherited the miser's mania, and that it was growing on her. so that she, a rich woman, had, as she believ ed, taken from a poor and honest man what did not belong to her. It was true she had boon tricked and cheated, but that did not alter the facts. Then she prayed for help, and grow strong. She did not niter her plain way of living, but she entertained her friends and gave to the poor. She saw to the education of her little cousins, and sent many ti kind gift to her aunt, and she helped her pastor in his work. Kindly fooling grow in her heart, and her face softened, and she grow agreea ble in appearance arid attractive in manner. And, finally, the most softening in tlueneo in the world filled her heart. She loved a good man, w ho loved her tenderly. Together they live among their children in old Honeylown, and are known as the most kindly of its people. No worthy charily but has boon Hided by them. No good object but they are ready to further. Tho miser's daughter has conquered her hereditary vice one so nearly al lied to dishonest v that the miser is al ways ready to become u thief, and gen erally is one and tlio angels smue over'her victory. Smoking Cigarettes. In one of the schools of l!rookln a boy lii mvu's old, tia.urally very quick and bright, was found to bo growing dull and lilful. His face was pale and he had nervous twitthings. Ho was obliged to quit school. Inquiry showed that ho had become a continued smok er of cigarettes. When asked why ho did not give it up, he shed tears and said that he had often tried, but could not. The growth of this habit is insid ious and its effects ruinous. The eyes, the brain, the nervous system, the memory, the power of application, are all impaired by it. "It's nothing but a cigarette," is really "It's nothing but poison." tierman and French physi cians have recently protested against it; and a convention of Sunday and sec ular teachers was recently held in F.u- frl'iiut ti idii,L- Il It ir!ij tM'cidcil fiver uv an eminent surgeon of a Itovai' eye inlirniarv. w ho stated that many dis eases of t lie eye wore directly caused by it. Parents, save your children from this vice, if possible. Ho not al low them to deceive vou. In future years they will rise up and bless you lor restraining them. It is now known that old castaway cigar'stumps are used in the manufact ure of cigarettes. Hoys are employed to gather them from hotels, bar-rooms, sidewalks from wherever they are thrown. Collectors buy them of the boys and send them to the manufacto ries by tho barrel. No matter how dis gusting the spot whence they are pick edwhether from tho spittoon with its dangerous saliva, or tho gutter with its niui tne loul refuse unds its way into the mouth and nostrils of tho cigarette smoker. Many a smoker throws away tho stump of his cizar becauso he does not like the flavor of it Ho docs not know" why the flavor is unpleasant to him, but it is caused by nicotine the active principle f tobacco and a violent pois on. This accumulates in the base of OTTAWA FKEK TRADER; the c'gar v, i;ii every draft of the. smoke, and tiie man, noticing the unpleasant flavor, throws the stump away. This reservoir of nicotine tinds i's way into (he cigarette, and the per-on who smokes it get in a condensed form the poison which so often works mischief on the brains of habitu tl smokers. Again, tise-n cigar stubs or any to bacco, for that matter, that is ma le into cigaielli's -is wrapped with paper w hich contains a very largo per cent, of arsenic or other deadly poisons, the power of which exerts a, deleterious ef fect upon the tonsil -in fact, the whole throat of all who lis them; in deed, it has been found impossible to euro catarrh in in v terato cigarctte stnokers. lint even this is not t!r: worst of it. These cigar stumps have been in tho mouths of all sorts of men drunkards, fast young men, rotten old roues, whose very kiss, or touch, or even the pencil they have held in their mouths, might communicate the foulest and most fearful disease that comes to a human I cing. WIT AND IIUMOR. A i!isa;iiioi;i:i'd lover very of feels like wringing the neck of n vU The singer is apt to think t hat. all the musical world is on the high C. Kmerson said: "There ii always room for n man of force." He had probaby met Sullivan in a crowd. Irving smokes cigarettes almost ron tinuallv. We alwavs thought h.- was fond of pull's. 1 he use of a. 1-rcnch word in I-.ik composition frequently (ills the place of an idea. IXew lork ladies now take lessons in fencing. Thev hope to make them selves more killiio' than ever. t oiieeit is ike irroaso. it series to lu ...... . . bricate the machine of lit'.- nnd snake it run smoother. A toner ('elends his cud un ol "!- t:;i'.r tO'li! o;i I hanks j-ivuig da by sav ing that a man can not see Turkei without tiiinking ot tii" (rohlen i lorn It s a mightv mean man who wrote -li 1 1 ! Down tii ! Wind." Ho would ifobahlv 'oe in favor of beating tho !0, A V rn in in calls his i rot tin ji iiiual, il is suppose j hor I I. has on!;, been oo vstul in two race his odd nam". Twice woii's '"2. hence A blue-Mocking has written in ssav on i in1 i'.s;niv.ii..ivi,i ii' injr l ii.ii i i ... i , . 1 1..: . I .... i ' i Mod girls are goo .l-r.atured and willing lo put up w il Ii the i!;s:uh an 'ages. A mis is a .Jaiiauos measure of lcnirih l"'"'1 Minis Ion'.;. This is a iiiisllial is M'ri icatlv ;is rood as a mile. "That man liked to have knocked my brains out." "Whv, vou don't say so? 1 didn't notice that h" kicked vou. I thought ho hit you on the head." "No," said Mr. Carefulbody, "I never say a rnxnl word of anv man. How do I know but he will bo up for office some day or other. About tlio most amusing thing we know of is to watch a bald-headed man with a w ig try to scratch his head in church on a Sunday morning. "Yes," said Amy. "I went to the telephone and put the thingumbob to my car ," "Thingumbob!" scream ed the high-school girl; "you mean the audiluout tube." Ofer you got a robutation, yoost put him by dor key unit. lock. He vas yoost like some umbrellas, vlien you loose him you dond see him not any more yet. Carl i'lxtzct. Landlady "It's .singular, but true, Mr. Crossgrain that all my boarders remain with me." New boarder (at first meal) "Too weak to leave, I guess, after the first week." The New York Sun fails to answer a correspondent who asks "how can pro fanity on street cars and in other public places be cheeked.'" How would it do to "turn the rascals out." There is one cheering reflection con nected with the subject of cremation. If it ever becomes general, callow poets will quit chanting their lays about the cold, cold grave. "What are you laughing at, my dear?" asked Mrs Jones of her husband, who was chuckling over his morning paper. "Something 1 saw hero," ho rojdicd, "but it's hardly funny enough for two.'' Reassuring: Sick man What! a lady physieiaiT? I want a doctor to make me well, not a woman, to make love to me. Woman physician I promise to do neither. A sick friend writes lj us to ascertain the shortest road to health. There are two paths allopaths and homeopaths; you take your choice and pay your money. "I wish I had a pug dog." said un uptown youth recently. "What in the world d -you want one of the critters for?" asked a friend. "I know whore 1 could sell him for $ lo!" was the earn est reply. "So your husband is a critic? Now, tell nil'', does he always write jut what lie thinks about a play?" "Oh, dear, no! It wouldn't do. His paper goes into the best families, and profanity is out of the question." "How k Johnnie doing at school?" asked a lady of Johnnie' maniiiov dur ing a call. 'Splendidly, lie talks in two lanj-uages now." "Pear mo. What are they; French or tierman?" "Oh, no. English and profane." Mousignor Capel says that there is more immorality in the daily newspa pers than anywiiere else. The reason for this state'of affairs is that the daily uowspapers are filled with the immor alities of the rest of the world. Married men have nothing to say in disapproval of the "shingled bang." As a rule, a married man doesn't care what his wife does to her own hair so long as she keeps her linger out of his. "lMyou ever gamble?" she asked, as they sat together, her hand held in his. He replied: "No; but if 1 wanted to now would be my time." "How so." "Because I hold a beautiful hand." The engagement is announced. An Erie canal mule has toed tho tow- f ath of that raging inland sea since 858, and Isn't worn out yet. Tho ca pabilities of the mule arc always thrust ing themselves to the front or to tho rear, we dont remember which. "What do we learn from the parable SATURDAY, DKCOI1SEK 1. 1 S8. of the seven wise and seven foolish vir gins?" was recently asked in a Texas Sunday school. "That we must watch every iiour for the cornin r of the bridu- groom, n gushing (inh esion girl n I- i died. "i on ouirht to In.1 in your own room now," said Amy, "we have a teacher that rules the roost." "Well," replied tho Uoton Iiij-Ii school :nrl, "l d be ashamed of mself; vou should say governs the hoi i in al perch on which the fowl repocs,' not 'rules the roost.1' A colored girl was hoard the other day to remark confidentially to a friend "it's in, I done write to my geminon frcn dat do next time I set do day lur do ceremony it'll have to come olf; an he knows 1 s in earnest, tor I tuil it in parenthesis." A little girl sat on the lloor crying. After a while she stopped and scemec buried in thought. Rooking up su Iden- lv, she said; "Mamma, what was I cry- in"- aboul?" "Uecaiiso I wouldn't you go down town." "Oh, yes!" and she sat up another howl. "What remarkable nightgowns wen worn in the early d.ivs of England," Jon 's remarked as he serulini.ed the armor. "Nightgowns!'' I exclaimoi in surprise. "I ertatnlv. sa:d .lones. lon't on seo thev were only nut on knights!" Long Rraneh is said to be Ih -i .i it oldest se.iienieni in iXonuern .xew Jersey church built in Queen 11111 IL 11. IS ,, Anne's time. Rung Rraneh .... 1 It i,.. i You see, a church at is used so little that it doesn't get worn out time. hi high dudgeon: stand what offended night at the parlv, and lasts a long "I can not under Mr. Pudav last said the high school girl; "h their departure parlv, however and bis comuany took i'i high dudgeon very Whv, I thought they left came in. in ' r the .nine m. earn;: tuev I'll lie.) A iittl" gran Im'H was attempting lo ! I Mr-. Andrews add a three-legged I ii i to her nnd stoo when I, said: thing?' 1 1 ran, I ma, does inni see everv- "Ycs, mv son." she replied, "(iod is oven whore and i.m even- act of our livi Well. iy i n ,'n. won t this .slool?" Ho laugh when He John Jone.i liv in Cleveland. t ii ilt- milking he tie, I the cow s tail to his log, as the flio-. kept that appendage Hopping. After he was taken throe times around the cow pasture on his back he remarked: "1 rooogni my mistake. 1 should have tied her tail to her owi: log instead of mine." A good old la ly says when she was a girl loiters were as richly worth a quarter as they are now '2 conis. They wrote on foolscap shoots in those days, and had something to say that counted before they wrote. The old lady says that letters are no longer a luxury, mid while they are a convenience ihoy en courage cheap laziiiess. Didn't Want a Friondly Tip. "Here, my good fellow." said an English Lord at a Philadelphia hotel table, as he slyly laid $1 uudor his nap kin. "What is that for?" asked the wait er, without moving. "For? Whv, that is for vou. lake it." "For mo? And why for me?" "Surely, vou must understand," whispered the Lord in astonishment; "that is our tip. I never give less thau $1." "You are mistaken, sir," said the waiter, drawing minscit up haughtily. "I am paid by the landlord for my ser vices, l accept no 'tips. i am mi American." N. R. This was told lo the Phil a dolphin Call by a hotel man, who said he hoped to die it it was not true. Y e are expecting every moment to hear of his death. X. Y. Cow. A'hvrtiwr. Eailroad Politiaes3. the title of "A Lesson Under in Politeness the Now York Times savs: "Politeness has devolopod (o a re markable decree on one of the local trains running up the Hudson River Road. Nearly every employe on the line knows the story. President lluttor came- into the draml Central Mutton to take a train, and asked brakoman: 'Is this train for Potiirlikeepsie?' The object of the question was to test the man's civility. The brakoman did not know him and nodded his head. Mr. lluttor asked the oiiostion three times, and each time received n nod in reply. iinallv. lie inouired: 'Have vou no tonjrue in your head?' The man nodded nrain. Mr. lluttor obtained the name of the mau. Tho brakoman found it out and went to Mr. lluttor. 'I think made a mistake,' said he. 'Yes, 1 should say you did,' replied Mr. lluttor; 'you took mo for one of the patrons ot the road. Out of the money received from patrons vou receive your pay. They arc entitled to every courtesy, anil as you cannot accord it to them l will see to it that vou are discharged at once.' The man begged, promised to nrotit bv the lesson, and said he had a mother to support. For the sake of his mother Mr. lluttor said he would ov r look the 'mistake,' but a repetition would ro.sult in instant dismissal." A Bucking EroncLo, Much has boon said tin I written about the bucking broncho, but the half has not been told. The bucking broncho is a plant which grows wild on the Laramie plains, and blossoms at any and all times of the year. The mau who never saw one of these kaleido scopic panoramas has our sympathy; and the tenderfoot who thought he knew all about horses, and who played second liddleto a good, healthy broncho through one twenty-eight-second round, also has our sympathy, for that matter, and not only the sympathy but tho horvices of a good surgeon, 'i'hc "old timer" mounts the colicky animal as though it was a stone fence, and calmly and contentedly maintains his seat while the miniature earthquake is erupting beneath him. It Iook easy, ami you can't help thinking that it is easy. It is a mistake, however, to suppose that the uninitiated man can ride the bounding broncho the first time he tries it, no matter how good a horseman he may be. It can only be acquired, like back teeth, in time. Larnmie Boomerang. T--J Lime-Kiln Cub. "Do odder night," began fie Pres ident as tin,' club came to order, "do ole man Rirch cum ober to my cabin an' cried bekase ho had not becum a great an' famous man. Pat sot mo to linkin'. "Cicero was a great man, but I can not lind it on record dat he eber took any mo' comfort dan Samuel Shin does. Samuel has 'null' to eat an' drink an' w'ar, an' of an ebenin' lie kin sot down in a snug co'ner an' eat snow apples an' read do paper, lie am harmless to do community as he inn. Make a groat man of him an' lie might invent a now sort o religun. or originate a new theory in pollytios, or do suuthin' or other to iipsot do minds of half do people.. "Pemost hones was a groat man, but I can't lind dat a coal dealer's collector could put Ids hand on him when want ed, as he kin on Oiveadnin Jones. You can't lind dat his wife was a good cook, or dot ho had a bath-room in his house, or a cupalo on his ba'n, or dat he rel ished his dinner any better dan Rrud dor Jones 'loos, while he had ile same chilblains an' headaches an' night mares. As (iiveadain now libs an' cir culates children kin play with him, wood-piles in his nayborliood am safe, an mo dan one poo' fani'ly am indebt ed to him fur a shillin' in money or a backet of 'tutors. Make him a great philosopher an' who kin toll how many rows an' riots an' broken heads could be laid to his door. "Plato was a groat man, but 1 can't find dat he was fed on perticklor line beef or mutton, or dat his tailor gin him an extra lit, or dat ho got a dis count when ho bought ten pound of sugar all at once. When Waydown Rebec gits sot dawn in front of his cook-stove, a checkerboard on his lap an an panful of popcorn al his rigid hand, w i l live pickaninnies rollin' ober each u he r on do llu . he am takin a heap mo' comfort dan dreamed of. He has no bishun. He neither want world nor spite it. lie l'la cher soarin' atn- to save do makes no predics!iuns fur people to worry ober, an' his theories neither jar tho dishes oil' do shelf. Make him a e-ioat man an' his comfort nii'liappinos llv awa. . n n he sots hiinseit up to leaeli ohcrvbod v's an au- command an becum tagonisl. "Po man who sighs to trade fa'r wages, a warm house un' a peaceful li'arthstun fur ile glory of 1! uiaparte am a dolt. "Pe mail who sacrifices his clean, humble cabin -his easy ole coat, his co ncoo pipe an ins puciiero siuer mi le gab of an orator or do delushuns of a philosopher trades his 'tutors fur windfall apples. Let us purcoed to bizuess." thiroit 've iVt-'. Hartford. Coim., does not. like the electric light in its Opera House. People with weak eyes complain, and th woucn say it ruins their complexions. Woik civeu out. On receipt of your ad dress we will make an offer by which you cad euro $i to $7 evenings, at your home. Men, women, bovs or girls can do it. 11. C Wilkinson ,tc Co., 15 and 197 Fulton street, New York. CHAPTER II. "Maiden. Mass., Fel. 1, l&SO. Gentlemen Isullereil with attacks of sick headache." Neuniluin, female trouble, for years in the niofet terrible and excruciutinjr manner. No medicine or doctor could k'vc me relief or cure until 1 used Hop Kilters. "The first bottle Nearly cured me." The second made me us well and stroiii; us when a child. "Aud 1 have t een so to this day." My husband was an invalid for 20 jears with a serious "Kidney, liver and urinary complaint, "Pronounced by Boston's best paye'iolans "Incurable!" Seven bottles of your bitters eurad him, and I know of the "Lives of eight persons" In my neighborhood that have been saved by your bitters, And mnay more arc using them with zreat beni'lit. "They almost Do miracles?" Jlr&.lJ. K. Shirk. Doctors and Doctrines. Whatever Cruel Creeds May Say, Truth is Always Orthodox. "Vou know the old saying. Doctor, Vbl tret meilicl, duo ntliti. where there are three doctors there are two atheists," laughed Rev. Apollo Crcauieheese th other day to Ins friend Dr. Senna, who had Cropped in for a hit of a talk. "Yes. I've heard It. and I'll bet a box of pills ailnFt your dry Inkstand that some priest said It. They al ways pattered bad Latin when they bad a bigger lie th ail common to get rid of." answered the Doctor, lighting his pipe. "I tell you. Dominie, you're 'way otl' when you think our profession Isn't doing as good work In this world at jimrs Is. They've both been niore'n half barbarous for centuries, but we're several lengths ahead of you on the home-stretch." Hut, Doctor," said l'.ev. Mr. Creaincheese, "don't you think your fraternity shows a tendency to mate rialistic r "Itali!" Interrupted Dr. Senna, "we show a tendency to human charity and common sejise. The fences are all down. -Why, wnhln the past week I've had a letter from my Did frleud. Dr. W. V. Haddor, or I'ine lll!l. Alabama, faying that h is using, with great success 1A UK KH.V3 TONIC In his praetioe, and finds it the best thing for Coughs, Lung, Kidney and Liver trouoles. Dyspepsia. Uhciimatlsm, and so on. be everstrnrk; and another friend of mine. Dr. .1. J. Oat man. of Carrolltown. Ph.. says substantially the same Ihing. He's a big specialist, too. in ebronlr d.seaae. and knows what tie is talking about every .line. Dr. Senna's statements w to l'AP.KKH Tonic are supported by genuine testimonials from Ors. Iladildox and Oalman. who inn to Messrs. liisc-ox Co.. of New York-the proprietors-ln rerms of the highest eomliieiulnllon eoneeralng Ihls .-teat restorallve remedy, anil letters from the profrs- ,lon geiierauy eonnriii uic oinmus ui iv im,j.. I'rlee, sicenis aii'i n per uuuiv. A GREAT CAUSE OF HUMAN MISERY Is the Loss of 7g & w.,t rr tli IVn tu ro. Treatment nd lia.llca.1 cure of Seminal Weakness, or Upertnator rhira, tuduced by Sell-Abuse. Involuntary Emissions, Marriage generally: Consumption, fcpwWno'i: Immtteiiey. Inervoua in-uin-). mu itiiii.- Mental and Physical lncapacny.ar.-cv iwnjm v. (TLVEUWELL, M. D., author of the " Green Book," Ac The world-renowned author. In this admirable Lec ture, clearly prove from hw own experience that the awful consequence of aelf-alrane may be effectually removed without dangeroua sursrtral operation, bou gies, instrument, ring or cordials: pointing ont mode oi cure al one certain an tTectul. by which every sufferer, no matter what hi condition may be, may cor himself cheaply, privately and rodknUf. IF ThU Ltctur4 trill prov a toon to foutanai mnd tkouniuU (Unt narier imI. la a Dlaln enTclop. to an? addnwa, p04i paid. on receipt of lx cent or two poKe Kami. Addrea THE CTTLVEEWELL MEDICAL 00.. 41 Ana Ht.Nsw York. X. T.i Ml. BoiU T li a t tlio reason for build in iintl l''i;tiring is close at hand, any one having contracts to let, in town or country, should call oa W. It. STKWAUT, Contrac tor and lluildci, three doors north ol' the Clilton Hotel, Ot tawa. Hates low, and jierlect satisfaction guaranteed. Con tracts taken for Plastering or Chimney Work separate from Itiiilding Contracts. Building Paper for sale cheap. A no no When llie Tlii'mioiiH'ti'r ,1 1'MI'S 40 Degrees a Day i.onk mil for 100 tua so so 80 70 60 A cuupli limy li':U In thi'p' nw If nut Mkcii i inv en. 5il 50 TIIWELL' 3Q 301 W iii Cui'i' Ymi. I'ricc. - - r0 Cim, Muliulai liilfil liy till' Stilwcll-Med. Co., Monmouth, 111. 10 it's awful funny, lint you nni i not con i Hiiei- iiiKiiiK sstll- wcll V Uuiifrli Syru. Kor f ile livO. CEII III Mi. Nolli'P Ifl licreliy Bivtn. Unit mi TliurHilny ; Kriilu.VH of i-ui'li week vmllors will lie ml flt.c iiilttrd to tin Asylum . Kn vlnltori tuliiiltled on 8up- diiys. T.C. OIUbON County Att;nt. THE WEEKLY La Salle Co. Herolfl l,.u i.i.iirt.il ttUlur L'nriu-n illstllwtlnn na llin Htlll-Rl. tun most powerful ami tlie most widely circulated Oitiiiiiu wei'Kiy lu uu rnie, oihuiim oi mu uny oi Chlcagu. It Is recognized by every cl? and eleineiil us the worthy exponent and represenmtlve of the licnltis and spirit of the ilernian population of Central Illinois. 118 popularity and creat circulation nnioiiK Intelli gent ami prosperous Germans bestows upon It a value as an advertising medium which Is not possessed by a II jollier German Journal In this part of the stale ot Illinois. C. ZWANZIQ, Editor. Ottawa. III.. March 17. IKN). Chicago, Burlington and Qnincy B. B. TIME TABLE. OftoDer 13tli, 1883. Boughs AND Cough Syrup 0IJ11TY MYIM. S i s 5 Going North II STATIONS. Pasa. No. 70 B. Pass. No. 72 B. a" ...Chicago... Aurora.... .West Aurora. io. so 9.12 9.U7 8.M 8.42 8.34 8. IN 6.1 H 7.t8 7 ?0 7.42 7.28 7.10 5.S9 S 34 5.23 5.t7 5.10 4.56 4.45 4.34 4.21 4.15 4.P5 3.J0 SX.Kox Hlv June 6i(i... Oswego.... 12K 15 19 27X . lorKvuie... .... Fox . Millbrook.. .Mllllngton.. ..Bheridan... ...Serena.... ...makes.... ...Wedron... . . Davton 32 34 89H C.R.LAP.tVg 44 UTT A W A 4IV'$onth Ottawa. 4W ..Side Track.. b2. Grand Ulilgc. 5ft ...Klchards... 60V ...Streator... 7.(3 6. SO 3.30 3.15 A M.LV PJI.lt f reight trBlns carrying passengers leave Ottawa as follows: For Karl, 9.10 a. M.; for Aurora, 10.09 A. M.; for Streator. 5 (5 a. ., 5.13 P. .. and 6.17 P. . Morning train mvkos close connection at Aurora lor al' polius east and west. Pullman raiace Biueping trs. v n.asi. wiiii Room Cars, Horton's lieelining Chair Cars, and the C. n. & O. Palace Dining Cars, by this route. All Informa and time tables will be cheerfully given by applying lo tion of,nt ram f rre sleenins ear accommodations I'MtUlVAij Wintl.u General Passenger Agent, Chicago. Tiioa. J. F'ottrh. General Manager. Chicago. T.H.MARVIN. Agent at Ottawa. Chicago, Bock Island & Pacific Railroad. NEW TIME TABLE. Goino East. No. 2, Pnelfle F.xprcss and Mall ..11.25 A K .. 3.2f A n .. 2.111 A V .. 2.33 P M .. 7.05 A Ji ..11.55 A u .. l.on p m .. 5.40P . 8.S.-I p M .. 7.45 A X .. S.10P M ..12.55 A M .. 1.5H A M .. 1.35 P M .. 7.50 P M .. 2.0SPM .. 9.45 A M .. 2.08 P X 4. Ntgni f.xpress . Kansas Cltv F.xpress s, chleaeoand Davenport Accoiii 10. Pern Fast Accommodation 12, bt. Paul Express Frtlahtt Carrying Paintngtr. 26 HI 24 is Goixo West. So. t, Atlantic Express a. Miflit Exnresa . 5. Chicago and Kansas City Express 7, Davenport Accommodation 9. Peru Fast Accommodation 11, St Paul Express, via Albert La Frtlght Carrying ratnengert. 23. Noa. 9 and 10 arrive In Chicago at 10.10 a. m. and leave thleiign at 4.45 p. M. daily (Snmlay exceptini ). Koa. 11 and 12 run dally, including Sundays. Noa. 29 and 30 will have a passenger couch, curry'lnff pasengers between .lollet and La salte. Noa. 23 and 28 carry pasaengera between Blue la.and '"nVw carries nkengers la'tween Ottawa and Blue Is land IL R. CanLK. Oen'l Manager. E.8T. .Iohx C. E. FitiZKiLC. Genl Tkt A Par. A I. Agent at Ottawa DR. J. B. WALKER Oculist & Aurisi, Who ha practiced In th's lity ilnce IS, may be eoasalted AT THE CLIFTON HOTKI., OTTAWA, Un the first Saturday f eac month. fcloturtlay Haturt,la Saturday Saturday Saturday July T, 18SJ ...Au(. -I, 1883 Sept. 1. 1883 Oct. O. 1883 Nov. 3, 1883 Deo. 1. 1883 Saturday At all other time (a thi I the onl plac place he naiu protsaalonallT) he may oe toana w v.i 0F7ICB AHD DIBfMSABT 85 WastiBitoD St H. f . cor. Dearten. Going South. Pass. Pass. No. 71 No.9 li. B. P.M. LV A U. IV 4.45 8. 45 6.14 111.53 0.18 lO.'JU .3d 111.! 6.41) 10.M IH II. HO fi.M 11.C6 7.03 11. IS "M V.W M 11. S3 7.J0 11.42 7.S7 11.50 7.50 12.02 1.10 12.21 8.30 12.45 P.M. AB Pi-a Sc.