The Ottawa free trader. [volume], December 01, 1883, Page 6, Image 6

About The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916

Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

                
(
A Young Seaiustr
"I urn lonrniiin- how to row
U llll fllKlT
I. Ill" mum;
"I piii'li tbi' iircillc In mid out, mill miike die
htllclii-s str.ine:
I'm Bowltiif liliu-kt el nitclnv(irk for my "'
Iv's lilt"' l'' l. . , , ,,, . ,
And Mhiiiiiiii mivh the wny I work .1 v. ill i"t
Dike in( Imnr.
It's over ini'l 'Vri -li) you know.
How ovcl'-ii!,l-"vt'rhMu ht'ii hd'
"1 have lu'cun liiuiflkc i t liit f; Muntmii liini--(l
in ill" rlt:',
And tiiisteil it with P'"'' tlin iul to slum- nic
wIhtp to ww: ,. .
It linn CriMMiiiwny ihlirlrcn on it fli pping
Mindly liy a lining: . , ..
1 look ut thi'in when I lift t ii tvl, or tin- ncr.llc
prickK, yon know.
Ami Unit in Hip way 1 learn to bom
With lieminin;,' dit-lii'K-ilo you know
tlll'lll?
"Neil 1 Muill li'arn l inn, ami ilnrn. niul Lin k-
(I llrll, tOO, 1 (flll'':.
It wouldn't take mo loirr. I knw, ir it
wiiitii't for t ho thii -ml;
Hut the knot keep roinlnir, nu le.-ililrr I
t-liall Inn to c ontent
Sunm lines 1 clip my tliiint'ii.' nil mi'l life my
tliunili iiMoml! , . ,
When your tlimnl knots what il you Mi
Awl due It turn all lii-ownisli too.'
"My papfi, li '' a irrnit I I;,' man, a." much
hix lrct llij-'li;
1Ip'8 more than torty, mid liH hair lias Rniy
mixed with lilai'k:
W ell, liei'iint ti'iv! lie can't l':.rln to ww u
v o J I as I. , . ,
If he lows oira I. niton, Mum mil Inn to Hi
itliack! , .
Yon tiniKi n't think me jn-oud, .yon know,
lint I am f even, and IraiiM-w!"
-.Miny 1 II. liiiieeli, In HI. Nicholas.
. TEE HISES'S INHERITANCE.
Miss SaiuiuM was tlio only ilsiu;litrr
of the person ko int'vilnlily culli'il Old
Siimmix, in his imtivn town, that no uno
calli'tl hint !v unv other name, ami un
til his will was read, the fact that lie
had been christened Ocliivim Cicero
ftunmis was actually unknown toinany.
However, he. had" uetn-'illy not lived
as many rears p,s some who had not
been thought ot' .'t lis Iiloi'e tii:'.n lllld-J
lit !
(iio-njjeii.
It was his ninuner, his lmt nose, and
.sharp chin. lir- wrinkles in his fore
head, and tin-sparse -ieyi-li hair that
jave him tiie ri'inilntioii of u-n sue! lii
Vices hail llil men llio.se oi jinin nu n,
even :t live-and-lv.en'v.
A p.'tiilent. saving hoy. he had xm'
on to he a slinky yoini;r fellow and a
miserlv elderly mini.
Hi-, Ion--, .slnniil brown roil, hu
i ha! Iv .-N'Ve-i ipe h::l, his wrinkled
boois,' i,iid Ih irow.-ers, wliieh, always
loo ionjrand full for him, fell overlhetii
in iiinnv wrinkles, . seemed always to In;
the same, and lie had worn
lor live wars, haviii"' hM it
uii; liiv
ears iit'icr its pureieee.
When his poor wife was ill
lie tlui1-
tor had ordered w:iie ami
l)f( !-tc;i, I. lit
lie had ivnioiis. ru; d:
"li''e-:c.i ii up ' inn 'ii lie ami
wine is vcrv dear aid a b id habit, al
so, in v love. Don't urn think ou could'
take a nice little ph'veof fried pork ami
Mime old cid r intend:'
Tim poor woman had .".lis v. -on d that
she would "iry." l!ul after she. had
trie I a week even Old N:uimii.s said
that somelhiii"; niii-t he done.
lie I'Oiijjht the wine and the beef,
but belore the lea was made slie was
past yu allow in.
lie.- daughter eanie homo from her
uncle's then and cried oer what too
neie'hboi s told her, hut did not wiv. to
her fat led' w hat. she intended to say;
for in o-o iii; down stairs to hide, in I he
cellar, the boitle of wine his wife had
left as full as when il cane' into the
house. Old Sammis tripped and fell,
the bottle broke and cut his armv ami
cnsipclas set in, of which he died, and
the oirl who had wa-hed dishes in her
uncle's kitchen to save her keep, found
herself worth half a million.
She was a small, thin pirl; she .stooji
ed a ojood deal, and her nose and ehui
nearly met; but she was neat and prim,
ami as soon as the power was hers she
tarnished the old house decently and
hired ii servant.
She niiht have cut a uasli and be
come a fashionable woman, but the
thought did not oecuL' to her.
She fell biipps when she thought of
Llie money tiiai belonged to her, nnd
she euiiid Hot, bear to part with much
of it. She was not oven able to brinp;
herself to the point of buying a black
bilk dress for her tuint.vho needed one
sadly.
Two or three hundred dollars would
have Idled ti trunk over which those
poor little shabby cousins would have
danced with joy; but she could not
ilo it.
She could not have denied anyone
food nnd medicine, or lire, or li";ht, or
anything needful under her own roof,
as her father had denied her mother,
for she was only twenty-one and ti wo
man; hut she had the old man's blood
in her veins, and the miser's craving
lurked in her houI.
So the interest, of her money was
slowly added to the principal, and she
grew richer slowly but surely.
However, she was not yet a miser,
and when certain things in the way of
table-linen were wanted, she went down
to the city to buy them, and to make a
call or two as well, and was hurrying
tip l?roihvay front the ferry, when just
as she passed Trinity I'liureh a man
touched her on the arm, and said:
"lSeg your pardon, lady, but haven't
you lost a twenty-dollar gold piece?"
Now Miss Sammis knew well enough
that she had no gold whatever w ith'her
but sin) hesitated before saying no.
"I'm not sure. I must look," she
said, feeling for her portomonnaie.
"1 think I seen it drop outin your
pocket when you took out your hand
kerchief," said the man.
Satin got the better of Miss Sammis.
'Then 1 must have lost it," she said.
"Yes, lady; and it's honest of me to
piiji it up for you. ain't it. when I might
a Kent it? bind the vouny man. hold-
ing out the money. "And you hadn't
oughter begrudge me a dollar to get a
incurs victuals with, had you, jest as a
reward for honesty and to ouoouragc
me?" whined the young man.
"Well, no, I think I ought to give
you something," said the miser's daugh
ter. "I was thinking of a quarter,
but " sho looked into her purse, and
slowlv took out a dollar bill "but
there!" nhe added with a thrill of geti
tronity. "There!"
The young man seized tho money,
said "Thanks to you," and vanished
around a corner; and Miss Sammis,
with the joy of one who has drawn a
prize in the lottery, hurried to the shop
where she intended to purchase her
table linen, made her selections, and
offered the twenty-dollar gold piece,
i , jermr
fasti pnrrlorl It AvtflV in ft basket, tlllll
i in five mimites.nioro h request mat sue
.,.,,1,1 ojon Intn throfllee." was made.
'
bv a suavo lloor-walker, and she found
herself under arrest on a charge of hav
ing tried to pass counterfeit coin.
"Hut I'm Miss Sammis, of Honey
town," explained the poor girl, amidst
her sobs. "I'm rich, it is impossible
to suspect me.
'If vou could remember where you
got the money," said the policeman, as
ho put her into a cab, "it would be boi
ler for you. We are looking out for
those very gold pieces, and women are
rcttirer rid of tliom. and that makes it
Cad. vou see."
Anil so thev drove nwav from the lit
tle crowd that had gathered about the
earria"0. and Miss Sammis soon found
liiTselt in the orosenci) of a justice of
- - - i -the
pence
The shopkeeper made his charge,
but she had collected her senses. She
o-avo her address, the name of her pas
tor, of her lawyer -inlliieutial persons
in lloiieytown.
"It is'niortit'ying to be charged with
a thing," sh" .-'aid, "but you will soon
lind that I aiu not connected with a
ban I of eotinterfeiirrs. I inherited half
a million of money a short t;me
My father was Octrivim Cicero
mis."
Money coiiiluMlds civIliU, as .".
oral Ihiii :'. I'.w none become?
monsoh polite. The lawyer was
ago.
Sam-
gen -im-ti
lo
Tlllllieil l: Olid eaiiU.
in a tremendous
stale id excitement.
lie oiiesiioned liis client as to
her
tiosscs.-ioil of the llioiv-v, and her
and her vague
v that she was
i lie i':olll mis-
answers led him to I e
desirous to i-hield
pieion.
oiiie
"The
ti
i.u-
1.
1 1 1 v dial
young lain , o :
you on oath. Your
you ih m,v to j.:
son, but for vou;-
lid. 'We will put
guild heart makes
; an un worthy per
wn sake wo must
put vou on oalh. "
And so the thin lips of Miss Sammis
kissed the llil'ie, and the questions
were !!.--k .1.
I Wl:r;v did ou get this gold piece?1
"From a man on I lie si root,
j "What wa.s t!ie man's name?'
'I do no; ktn.w.
"Whv iii I he give it lo yon?"
"He :' t me if I had lost it."
"And .on said?''
"At lirst I said 1 did not know; their,
perhaps; and I gave him a reward for
finding it- He askcl for it."
"Had you dropped il ?"
"No."'
"How d'd you know?"
"I I i'. uitrlil no gold with me." '
It. is a vry common trick, and gen
erally Micoods," said the judge to the
lawyer, "ii is clear that Mis.i Sammis
did not know the nmnoy as counter
feit." The law ver look the l 'dv hoin . On
the way they scarcely .-poke; hut alone
in her own room, Miss Sammis, over
whelmed with shame, wept herself ill.
She liiijd have felt only indignation
at a false arrest, but she knew in her
inmost soul that when she falsely
claimed that money, she was at heart
a thief.
She began to think as she hail never
thought hefore, and she understood
that she inherited the miser's mania,
and that it was growing on her. so that
she, a rich woman, had, as she believ
ed, taken from a poor and honest man
what did not belong to her.
It was true she had boon tricked and
cheated, but that did not alter the
facts.
Then she prayed for help, and grow
strong. She did not niter her plain
way of living, but she entertained her
friends and gave to the poor. She saw
to the education of her little cousins,
and sent many ti kind gift to her aunt,
and she helped her pastor in his work.
Kindly fooling grow in her heart, and
her face softened, and she grow agreea
ble in appearance arid attractive in
manner.
And, finally, the most softening in
tlueneo in the world filled her heart.
She loved a good man, w ho loved her
tenderly. Together they live among
their children in old Honeylown, and
are known as the most kindly of its
people. No worthy charily but has
boon Hided by them. No good object
but they are ready to further.
Tho miser's daughter has conquered
her hereditary vice one so nearly al
lied to dishonest v that the miser is al
ways ready to become u thief, and gen
erally is one and tlio angels smue
over'her victory.
Smoking Cigarettes.
In one of the schools of l!rookln a
boy lii mvu's old, tia.urally very quick
and bright, was found to bo growing
dull and lilful. His face was pale and
he had nervous twitthings. Ho was
obliged to quit school. Inquiry showed
that ho had become a continued smok
er of cigarettes. When asked why ho
did not give it up, he shed tears and
said that he had often tried, but could
not. The growth of this habit is insid
ious and its effects ruinous. The eyes,
the brain, the nervous system, the
memory, the power of application, are
all impaired by it. "It's nothing but
a cigarette," is really "It's nothing but
poison." tierman and French physi
cians have recently protested against
it; and a convention of Sunday and sec
ular teachers was recently held in F.u-
frl'iiut ti idii,L- Il It ir!ij tM'cidcil fiver
uv an eminent surgeon of a Itovai' eye
inlirniarv. w ho stated that many dis
eases of t lie eye wore directly caused
by it. Parents, save your children
from this vice, if possible. Ho not al
low them to deceive vou. In future
years they will rise up and bless you
lor restraining them.
It is now known that old castaway
cigar'stumps are used in the manufact
ure of cigarettes. Hoys are employed
to gather them from hotels, bar-rooms,
sidewalks from wherever they are
thrown. Collectors buy them of the
boys and send them to the manufacto
ries by tho barrel. No matter how dis
gusting the spot whence they are pick
edwhether from tho spittoon with its
dangerous saliva, or tho gutter with its
niui tne loul refuse unds its way into
the mouth and nostrils of tho cigarette
smoker. Many a smoker throws away tho
stump of his cizar becauso he does not
like the flavor of it Ho docs not know"
why the flavor is unpleasant to him,
but it is caused by nicotine the active
principle f tobacco and a violent pois
on. This accumulates in the base of
OTTAWA FKEK TRADER;
the c'gar v, i;ii every draft of the. smoke,
and tiie man, noticing the unpleasant
flavor, throws the stump away. This
reservoir of nicotine tinds i's way into
(he cigarette, and the per-on who
smokes it get in a condensed form the
poison which so often works mischief
on the brains of habitu tl smokers.
Again, tise-n cigar stubs or any to
bacco, for that matter, that is ma le into
cigaielli's -is wrapped with paper
w hich contains a very largo per cent,
of arsenic or other deadly poisons, the
power of which exerts a, deleterious ef
fect upon the tonsil -in fact, the
whole throat of all who lis them; in
deed, it has been found impossible to
euro catarrh in in v terato cigarctte
stnokers. lint even this is not t!r: worst of it.
These cigar stumps have been in tho
mouths of all sorts of men drunkards,
fast young men, rotten old roues,
whose very kiss, or touch, or even the
pencil they have held in their mouths,
might communicate the foulest and
most fearful disease that comes to a
human I cing.
WIT AND IIUMOR.
A i!isa;iiioi;i:i'd lover very of
feels
like wringing the neck of n vU
The singer is apt to think t hat. all the
musical world is on the high C.
Kmerson said: "There ii always
room for n man of force." He had
probaby met Sullivan in a crowd.
Irving smokes cigarettes almost ron
tinuallv. We alwavs thought h.- was
fond of pull's.
1 he use of a. 1-rcnch word in I-.ik
composition frequently (ills the place of
an idea.
IXew lork ladies now take lessons in
fencing. Thev hope to make them
selves more killiio' than ever.
t oiieeit is ike irroaso. it series to lu
...... . .
bricate the machine of lit'.- nnd snake it
run smoother.
A toner ('elends his cud un ol "!-
t:;i'.r tO'li! o;i I hanks j-ivuig da by sav
ing that a man can not see Turkei
without tiiinking ot tii" (rohlen i lorn
It s a mightv mean man who wrote
-li 1 1 ! Down tii ! Wind." Ho would
ifobahlv 'oe in favor of beating tho
!0,
A V
rn in in calls his i rot tin
ji iiiual, il is suppose
j hor
I
I. has
on!;, been oo vstul in two race
his odd nam". Twice woii's '"2.
hence
A blue-Mocking has written
in
ssav
on i in1 i'.s;niv.ii..ivi,i ii' injr l ii.ii i
i ... i , . 1 1..: . I .... i ' i
Mod girls are goo .l-r.atured and willing
lo put up w il Ii the i!;s:uh an 'ages.
A mis is a .Jaiiauos measure of
lcnirih l"'"'1 Minis Ion'.;. This is a
iiiisllial is M'ri icatlv ;is rood as a
mile.
"That man liked to have knocked my
brains out." "Whv, vou don't say so?
1 didn't notice that h" kicked vou. I
thought ho hit you on the head."
"No," said Mr. Carefulbody, "I never
say a rnxnl word of anv man. How do
I know but he will bo up for office some
day or other.
About tlio most amusing thing we
know of is to watch a bald-headed man
with a w ig try to scratch his head in
church on a Sunday morning.
"Yes," said Amy. "I went to the
telephone and put the thingumbob to
my car ," "Thingumbob!" scream
ed the high-school girl; "you mean the
audiluout tube."
Ofer you got a robutation, yoost put
him by dor key unit. lock. He vas yoost
like some umbrellas, vlien you loose
him you dond see him not any more
yet. Carl i'lxtzct.
Landlady "It's .singular, but true,
Mr. Crossgrain that all my boarders
remain with me." New boarder (at
first meal) "Too weak to leave, I
guess, after the first week."
The New York Sun fails to answer a
correspondent who asks "how can pro
fanity on street cars and in other public
places be cheeked.'" How would it do
to "turn the rascals out."
There is one cheering reflection con
nected with the subject of cremation.
If it ever becomes general, callow poets
will quit chanting their lays about the
cold, cold grave.
"What are you laughing at, my dear?"
asked Mrs Jones of her husband, who
was chuckling over his morning paper.
"Something 1 saw hero," ho rojdicd,
"but it's hardly funny enough for two.''
Reassuring: Sick man What! a lady
physieiaiT? I want a doctor to make
me well, not a woman, to make love to
me. Woman physician I promise to
do neither.
A sick friend writes lj us to ascertain
the shortest road to health. There are
two paths allopaths and homeopaths;
you take your choice and pay your
money.
"I wish I had a pug dog." said un
uptown youth recently. "What in the
world d -you want one of the critters
for?" asked a friend. "I know whore
1 could sell him for $ lo!" was the earn
est reply.
"So your husband is a critic? Now,
tell nil'', does he always write jut what
lie thinks about a play?" "Oh, dear,
no! It wouldn't do. His paper goes
into the best families, and profanity is
out of the question."
"How k Johnnie doing at school?"
asked a lady of Johnnie' maniiiov dur
ing a call. 'Splendidly, lie talks in
two lanj-uages now." "Pear mo.
What are they; French or tierman?"
"Oh, no. English and profane."
Mousignor Capel says that there is
more immorality in the daily newspa
pers than anywiiere else. The reason
for this state'of affairs is that the daily
uowspapers are filled with the immor
alities of the rest of the world.
Married men have nothing to say in
disapproval of the "shingled bang."
As a rule, a married man doesn't care
what his wife does to her own hair so
long as she keeps her linger out of
his.
"lMyou ever gamble?" she asked, as
they sat together, her hand held in his.
He replied: "No; but if 1 wanted to
now would be my time." "How so."
"Because I hold a beautiful hand."
The engagement is announced.
An Erie canal mule has toed tho tow-
f ath of that raging inland sea since
858, and Isn't worn out yet. Tho ca
pabilities of the mule arc always thrust
ing themselves to the front or to tho
rear, we dont remember which.
"What do we learn from the parable
SATURDAY, DKCOI1SEK 1. 1 S8.
of the seven wise and seven foolish vir
gins?" was recently asked in a Texas
Sunday school. "That we must watch
every iiour for the cornin r of the bridu-
groom, n gushing (inh esion girl n
I- i
died.
"i on ouirht to In.1 in your own room
now," said Amy, "we have a teacher
that rules the roost." "Well," replied
tho Uoton Iiij-Ii school :nrl, "l d be
ashamed of mself; vou should say
governs the hoi i in al perch on which
the fowl repocs,' not 'rules the roost.1'
A colored girl was hoard the other
day to remark confidentially to a friend
"it's in, I done write to my geminon
frcn dat do next time I set do day lur
do ceremony it'll have to come olf; an
he knows 1 s in earnest, tor I tuil it in
parenthesis."
A little girl sat on the lloor crying.
After a while she stopped and scemec
buried in thought. Rooking up su Iden-
lv, she said; "Mamma, what was I cry-
in"- aboul?" "Uecaiiso I wouldn't
you go down town." "Oh, yes!" and
she sat up another howl.
"What remarkable nightgowns wen
worn in the early d.ivs of England,"
Jon 's remarked as he serulini.ed the
armor. "Nightgowns!'' I exclaimoi
in surprise. "I ertatnlv. sa:d .lones.
lon't on seo thev were only
nut on
knights!"
Long Rraneh is said to be Ih
-i .i it
oldest
se.iienieni in iXonuern .xew
Jersey
church built in Queen
11111 IL 11. IS ,,
Anne's time.
Rung Rraneh
.... 1 It i,.. i
You see, a church at
is used so little that it
doesn't get worn out
time.
hi high dudgeon:
stand what offended
night at the parlv,
and lasts a long
"I can not under
Mr. Pudav last
said the high
school girl; "h
their departure
parlv, however
and bis comuany took
i'i high dudgeon very
Whv, I thought
they left
came in.
in
' r
the
.nine
m.
earn;:
tuev
I'll
lie.)
A iittl" gran Im'H
was attempting lo !
I Mr-. Andrews
add a three-legged
I ii i to her nnd
stoo
when
I,
said:
thing?'
1 1 ran, I ma, does inni see everv-
"Ycs, mv son." she replied,
"(iod
is oven whore and i.m even- act
of our livi
Well.
iy i n ,'n. won t
this .slool?"
Ho laugh when He
John Jone.i liv
in
Cleveland.
t ii ilt- milking he tie, I the cow s tail to
his log, as the flio-. kept that appendage
Hopping. After he was taken throe
times around the cow pasture on his
back he remarked: "1 rooogni my
mistake. 1 should have tied her tail to
her owi: log instead of mine."
A good old la ly says when she was a
girl loiters were as richly worth a
quarter as they are now '2 conis. They
wrote on foolscap shoots in those days,
and had something to say that counted
before they wrote. The old lady says
that letters are no longer a luxury, mid
while they are a convenience ihoy en
courage cheap laziiiess.
Didn't Want a Friondly Tip.
"Here, my good fellow." said an
English Lord at a Philadelphia hotel
table, as he slyly laid $1 uudor his nap
kin. "What is that for?" asked the wait
er, without moving.
"For? Whv, that is for vou. lake
it."
"For mo? And why for me?"
"Surely, vou must understand,"
whispered the Lord in astonishment;
"that is our tip. I never give less
thau $1."
"You are mistaken, sir," said the
waiter, drawing minscit up haughtily.
"I am paid by the landlord for my ser
vices, l accept no 'tips. i am mi
American."
N. R. This was told lo the Phil a
dolphin Call by a hotel man, who said
he hoped to die it it was not true. Y e
are expecting every moment to hear of
his death. X. Y. Cow. A'hvrtiwr.
Eailroad Politiaes3.
the title of "A Lesson
Under
in
Politeness
the Now York
Times
savs:
"Politeness has devolopod (o a re
markable decree on one of the local
trains running up the Hudson River
Road. Nearly every employe on the
line knows the story. President lluttor
came- into the draml Central Mutton
to take a train, and asked brakoman:
'Is this train for Potiirlikeepsie?' The
object of the question was to test the
man's civility. The brakoman did not
know him and nodded his head. Mr.
lluttor asked the oiiostion three times,
and each time received n nod in reply.
iinallv. lie inouired: 'Have vou no
tonjrue in your head?' The man nodded
nrain. Mr. lluttor obtained the name
of the mau. Tho brakoman found it
out and went to Mr. lluttor. 'I think
made a mistake,' said he. 'Yes, 1
should say you did,' replied Mr. lluttor;
'you took mo for one of the patrons ot
the road. Out of the money received
from patrons vou receive your pay.
They arc entitled to every courtesy,
anil as you cannot accord it to them l
will see to it that vou are discharged at
once.' The man begged, promised to
nrotit bv the lesson, and said he had a
mother to support. For the sake of his
mother Mr. lluttor said he would ov r
look the 'mistake,' but a repetition
would ro.sult in instant dismissal."
A Bucking EroncLo,
Much has boon said tin I written
about the bucking broncho, but the
half has not been told. The bucking
broncho is a plant which grows wild on
the Laramie plains, and blossoms at any
and all times of the year. The mau
who never saw one of these kaleido
scopic panoramas has our sympathy;
and the tenderfoot who thought he
knew all about horses, and who played
second liddleto a good, healthy broncho
through one twenty-eight-second round,
also has our sympathy, for that matter,
and not only the sympathy but tho
horvices of a good surgeon, 'i'hc "old
timer" mounts the colicky animal as
though it was a stone fence, and calmly
and contentedly maintains his seat
while the miniature earthquake is
erupting beneath him. It Iook easy,
ami you can't help thinking that it is
easy. It is a mistake, however, to
suppose that the uninitiated man can
ride the bounding broncho the first
time he tries it, no matter how good a
horseman he may be. It can only be
acquired, like back teeth, in time.
Larnmie Boomerang.
T--J Lime-Kiln Cub.
"Do odder night," began fie Pres
ident as tin,' club came to order, "do
ole man Rirch cum ober to my cabin
an' cried bekase ho had not becum a
great an' famous man. Pat sot mo to
linkin'.
"Cicero was a great man, but I can
not lind it on record dat he eber took
any mo' comfort dan Samuel Shin does.
Samuel has 'null' to eat an' drink an'
w'ar, an' of an ebenin' lie kin sot down
in a snug co'ner an' eat snow apples
an' read do paper, lie am harmless to
do community as he inn. Make a groat
man of him an' lie might invent a now
sort o religun. or originate a new
theory in pollytios, or do suuthin' or
other to iipsot do minds of half do
people..
"Pemost hones was a groat man, but
I can't lind dat a coal dealer's collector
could put Ids hand on him when want
ed, as he kin on Oiveadnin Jones. You
can't lind dat his wife was a good cook,
or dot ho had a bath-room in his house,
or a cupalo on his ba'n, or dat he rel
ished his dinner any better dan Rrud
dor Jones 'loos, while he had ile same
chilblains an' headaches an' night
mares. As (iiveadain now libs an' cir
culates children kin play with him,
wood-piles in his nayborliood am safe,
an mo dan one poo' fani'ly am indebt
ed to him fur a shillin' in money or a
backet of 'tutors. Make him a great
philosopher an' who kin toll how many
rows an' riots an' broken heads could
be laid to his door.
"Plato was a groat man, but 1 can't
find dat he was fed on perticklor line
beef or mutton, or dat his tailor gin
him an extra lit, or dat ho got a dis
count when ho bought ten pound of
sugar all at once. When Waydown
Rebec gits sot dawn in front of his
cook-stove, a checkerboard on his lap
an an panful of popcorn al his rigid
hand, w i l live pickaninnies rollin' ober
each u he r on do llu . he am takin a
heap mo' comfort dan
dreamed of. He has no
bishun. He neither want
world nor spite it. lie
l'la
cher
soarin' atn-
to save do
makes no
predics!iuns fur people to worry ober,
an' his theories neither jar tho dishes
oil' do shelf. Make him a e-ioat man
an' his comfort nii'liappinos llv awa. .
n n he sots hiinseit
up to leaeli
ohcrvbod v's
an
au-
command an becum
tagonisl.
"Po man who sighs to trade fa'r
wages, a warm house un' a peaceful
li'arthstun fur ile glory of 1! uiaparte
am a dolt.
"Pe mail who sacrifices his clean,
humble cabin -his easy ole coat, his
co ncoo pipe an ins puciiero siuer mi
le gab of an orator or do delushuns of
a philosopher trades his 'tutors fur
windfall apples. Let us purcoed to
bizuess." thiroit 've iVt-'.
Hartford. Coim., does not. like the
electric light in its Opera House. People
with weak eyes complain, and th
woucn say it ruins their complexions.
Woik civeu out. On receipt of your ad
dress we will make an offer by which you
cad euro $i to $7 evenings, at your home.
Men, women, bovs or girls can do it. 11. C
Wilkinson ,tc Co., 15 and 197 Fulton street,
New York.
CHAPTER II.
"Maiden. Mass., Fel. 1, l&SO. Gentlemen
Isullereil with attacks of sick headache."
Neuniluin, female trouble, for years in the
niofet terrible and excruciutinjr manner.
No medicine or doctor could k'vc me relief
or cure until 1 used Hop Kilters.
"The first bottle
Nearly cured me."
The second made me us well and stroiii; us
when a child.
"Aud 1 have t een so to this day."
My husband was an invalid for 20 jears
with a serious
"Kidney, liver and urinary complaint,
"Pronounced by Boston's best paye'iolans
"Incurable!"
Seven bottles of your bitters eurad him,
and I know of the
"Lives of eight persons"
In my neighborhood that have been saved
by your bitters,
And mnay more arc using them with zreat
beni'lit.
"They almost
Do miracles?" Jlr&.lJ. K. Shirk.
Doctors and Doctrines.
Whatever Cruel Creeds May Say, Truth
is Always Orthodox.
"Vou know the old saying. Doctor, Vbl tret meilicl,
duo ntliti. where there are three doctors there are
two atheists," laughed Rev. Apollo Crcauieheese th
other day to Ins friend Dr. Senna, who had Cropped in
for a hit of a talk.
"Yes. I've heard It. and I'll bet a box of pills ailnFt
your dry Inkstand that some priest said It. They al
ways pattered bad Latin when they bad a bigger lie
th ail common to get rid of." answered the Doctor,
lighting his pipe. "I tell you. Dominie, you're 'way otl'
when you think our profession Isn't doing as good
work In this world at jimrs Is. They've both been
niore'n half barbarous for centuries, but we're several
lengths ahead of you on the home-stretch."
Hut, Doctor," said l'.ev. Mr. Creaincheese, "don't
you think your fraternity shows a tendency to mate
rialistic r
"Itali!" Interrupted Dr. Senna, "we show a tendency
to human charity and common sejise. The fences are
all down. -Why, wnhln the past week I've had a letter
from my Did frleud. Dr. W. V. Haddor, or I'ine lll!l.
Alabama, faying that h is using, with great success
1A UK KH.V3 TONIC In his praetioe, and
finds it the best thing for Coughs, Lung, Kidney and
Liver trouoles. Dyspepsia. Uhciimatlsm, and so on. be
everstrnrk; and another friend of mine. Dr. .1. J. Oat
man. of Carrolltown. Ph.. says substantially the same
Ihing. He's a big specialist, too. in ebronlr d.seaae.
and knows what tie is talking about every .line.
Dr. Senna's statements w to l'AP.KKH
Tonic are supported by genuine testimonials from
Ors. Iladildox and Oalman. who inn to Messrs.
liisc-ox Co.. of New York-the proprietors-ln
rerms of the highest eomliieiulnllon eoneeralng Ihls
.-teat restorallve remedy, anil letters from the profrs-
,lon geiierauy eonnriii uic oinmus ui iv im,j..
I'rlee, sicenis aii'i n per uuuiv.
A GREAT CAUSE OF HUMAN MISERY
Is the Loss of
7g
& w.,t rr tli IVn tu ro. Treatment
nd lia.llca.1 cure of Seminal Weakness, or Upertnator
rhira, tuduced by Sell-Abuse. Involuntary Emissions,
Marriage generally: Consumption, fcpwWno'i:
Immtteiiey. Inervoua in-uin-). mu itiiii.-
Mental and Physical lncapacny.ar.-cv iwnjm v.
(TLVEUWELL, M. D., author of the " Green Book,"
Ac
The world-renowned author. In this admirable Lec
ture, clearly prove from hw own experience that the
awful consequence of aelf-alrane may be effectually
removed without dangeroua sursrtral operation, bou
gies, instrument, ring or cordials: pointing ont
mode oi cure al one certain an tTectul. by which
every sufferer, no matter what hi condition may be,
may cor himself cheaply, privately and rodknUf.
IF ThU Ltctur4 trill prov a toon to foutanai
mnd tkouniuU
(Unt narier imI. la a Dlaln enTclop. to an? addnwa,
p04i paid. on receipt of lx cent or two poKe
Kami. Addrea
THE CTTLVEEWELL MEDICAL 00..
41 Ana Ht.Nsw York. X. T.i Ml. BoiU
T li a t tlio reason for build in
iintl l''i;tiring is close at hand,
any one having contracts to let,
in town or country, should call
oa W. It. STKWAUT, Contrac
tor and lluildci, three doors
north ol' the Clilton Hotel, Ot
tawa. Hates low, and jierlect
satisfaction guaranteed. Con
tracts taken for Plastering or
Chimney Work separate from
Itiiilding Contracts. Building
Paper for sale cheap.
A
no
no
When llie Tlii'mioiiH'ti'r
,1 1'MI'S
40 Degrees a Day
i.onk mil for
100
tua
so
so
80
70
60
A cuupli limy li':U In thi'p' nw
If nut Mkcii i inv en.
5il
50
TIIWELL'
3Q
301
W iii Cui'i' Ymi.
I'ricc. - - r0 Cim,
Muliulai liilfil liy till'
Stilwcll-Med. Co.,
Monmouth, 111.
10
it's awful funny, lint you nni
i not con i Hiiei- iiiKiiiK sstll-
wcll V Uuiifrli Syru.
Kor f ile livO. CEII III Mi.
Nolli'P Ifl licreliy Bivtn. Unit mi TliurHilny
; Kriilu.VH of i-ui'li week vmllors will lie ml
flt.c
iiilttrd to tin
Asylum . Kn vlnltori tuliiiltled on 8up-
diiys.
T.C. OIUbON County Att;nt.
THE WEEKLY
La Salle Co. Herolfl
l,.u i.i.iirt.il ttUlur L'nriu-n illstllwtlnn na llin Htlll-Rl.
tun most powerful ami tlie most widely circulated
Oitiiiiiu wei'Kiy lu uu rnie, oihuiim oi mu uny oi
Chlcagu. It Is recognized by every cl? and eleineiil
us the worthy exponent and represenmtlve of the
licnltis and spirit of the ilernian population of Central
Illinois.
118 popularity and creat circulation nnioiiK Intelli
gent ami prosperous Germans bestows upon It a value
as an advertising medium which Is not possessed by
a II jollier German Journal In this part of the stale ot
Illinois.
C. ZWANZIQ, Editor.
Ottawa. III.. March 17. IKN).
Chicago, Burlington and Qnincy B. B.
TIME TABLE.
OftoDer 13tli, 1883.
Boughs
AND
Cough Syrup
0IJ11TY MYIM.
S i
s 5
Going North
II
STATIONS.
Pasa.
No. 70
B.
Pass.
No. 72
B.
a"
...Chicago...
Aurora....
.West Aurora.
io. so
9.12
9.U7
8.M
8.42
8.34
8. IN
6.1 H
7.t8
7 ?0
7.42
7.28
7.10
5.S9
S 34
5.23
5.t7
5.10
4.56
4.45
4.34
4.21
4.15
4.P5
3.J0
SX.Kox Hlv June
6i(i... Oswego....
12K
15
19
27X
. lorKvuie...
.... Fox
. Millbrook..
.Mllllngton..
..Bheridan...
...Serena....
...makes....
...Wedron...
. . Davton
32
34
89H
C.R.LAP.tVg
44
UTT A W A
4IV'$onth Ottawa.
4W ..Side Track..
b2. Grand Ulilgc.
5ft ...Klchards...
60V ...Streator...
7.(3
6. SO
3.30
3.15
A M.LV
PJI.lt
f reight trBlns carrying passengers leave Ottawa as
follows: For Karl, 9.10 a. M.; for Aurora, 10.09 A. M.;
for Streator. 5 (5 a. ., 5.13 P. .. and 6.17 P. .
Morning train mvkos close connection at Aurora lor
al' polius east and west.
Pullman raiace Biueping trs. v n.asi. wiiii
Room Cars, Horton's lieelining Chair Cars, and the C.
n. & O. Palace Dining Cars, by this route. All Informa
and time tables will be cheerfully given by applying lo
tion of,nt ram f rre sleenins ear accommodations
I'MtUlVAij Wintl.u
General Passenger Agent, Chicago.
Tiioa. J. F'ottrh.
General Manager. Chicago. T.H.MARVIN.
Agent at Ottawa.
Chicago, Bock Island & Pacific Railroad.
NEW TIME TABLE.
Goino East.
No. 2, Pnelfle F.xprcss and Mall
..11.25 A K
.. 3.2f A n
.. 2.111 A V
.. 2.33 P M
.. 7.05 A Ji
..11.55 A u
.. l.on p m
.. 5.40P
. 8.S.-I p M
.. 7.45 A X
.. S.10P M
..12.55 A M
.. 1.5H A M
.. 1.35 P M
.. 7.50 P M
.. 2.0SPM
.. 9.45 A M
.. 2.08 P X
4. Ntgni f.xpress
. Kansas Cltv F.xpress
s, chleaeoand Davenport Accoiii
10. Pern Fast Accommodation
12, bt. Paul Express
Frtlahtt Carrying Paintngtr.
26
HI
24
is
Goixo West.
So. t, Atlantic Express
a. Miflit Exnresa .
5. Chicago and Kansas City Express
7, Davenport Accommodation
9. Peru Fast Accommodation
11, St Paul Express, via Albert La
Frtlght Carrying ratnengert.
23.
Noa. 9 and 10 arrive In Chicago at 10.10 a. m. and leave
thleiign at 4.45 p. M. daily (Snmlay exceptini ).
Koa. 11 and 12 run dally, including Sundays.
Noa. 29 and 30 will have a passenger couch, curry'lnff
pasengers between .lollet and La salte.
Noa. 23 and 28 carry pasaengera between Blue la.and
'"nVw carries nkengers la'tween Ottawa and Blue Is
land IL R. CanLK. Oen'l Manager.
E.8T. .Iohx C. E. FitiZKiLC.
Genl Tkt A Par. A I. Agent at Ottawa
DR. J. B. WALKER
Oculist & Aurisi,
Who ha practiced In th's lity ilnce IS,
may be eoasalted
AT THE CLIFTON HOTKI., OTTAWA,
Un the first Saturday f eac month.
fcloturtlay
Haturt,la
Saturday
Saturday
Saturday
July T, 18SJ
...Au(. -I, 1883
Sept. 1. 1883
Oct. O. 1883
Nov. 3, 1883
Deo. 1. 1883
Saturday
At all other time (a thi I the onl plac
place he naiu
protsaalonallT) he may oe toana w v.i
0F7ICB AHD DIBfMSABT
85 WastiBitoD St H. f . cor. Dearten.
Going South.
Pass. Pass.
No. 71 No.9
li. B.
P.M. LV A U. IV
4.45 8. 45
6.14 111.53
0.18 lO.'JU
.3d 111.!
6.41) 10.M
IH II. HO
fi.M 11.C6
7.03 11. IS
"M V.W
M 11. S3
7.J0 11.42
7.S7 11.50
7.50 12.02
1.10 12.21
8.30 12.45
P.M. AB Pi-a
Sc.