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The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, March 07, 1885, Image 4

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Wti itauro m State.
T.i ,,!, VVKllY Batiboat Morning,
At Nm. UO and Ul L.u Balle Btroi-t,
WM. OSMAN, Kditob;
Terms of Subscription:
n Klviico, per minimi
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If Bot pai'l till end f 'x nmtitlix -
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B. H. rooLEK. Serena, III.
L II. TBOWBBimiK, Marnelllm.
D. H. U.viiKitim.t.. Seneca.
L.T. VAN DdIIKN, iiiaiui imw
OCOBHK II. IlKiioF.il, f..i Try drove, Ophlr mid WkI
main. AuuresH, n"j '!"
,sv.-h. n.i Moil U.uur.
The Week.
Engliiml 1ms a iimv pxcitciucnt. Thi.
time it U n threatcnnil war with Kussia
which is said to "hang by a thn ad." The
nnssinns have hcen fiicroacliing n Af
fiimnishm. Kni'laiKl'b ikii t!i wcHtcrnniost
possession in Imlia- Squads of the
Russian nruiy are actually on Afghan soil,
though ly liennlssion of lVrsia, which
.!,,!. tlm territurv. Yet Russia is evi
dently plaaning to occupy Herat, and uny
such attempt will ho resisted by England
' with nil her miirht. Lord Granville has
sent a dispatch to Russia that amounts al
most to a ultimatum, demanding the with
diawalof the Rusilan troops, but Russia
replies coolly that she lias no troops on
Afghan soil, ami there will be no attack on
Afghan outposts unless Russia is first at
tacked. The gratifying news comes irom
Egypt that Gen. Ruller and his little army
have got back to Gakdul in safety Glad
stone made a narrow escape from a vote of
censure in the Commons on the '27th ult.
f.n nf-imnt of his KirvDtlan policy, Lord
Northcote's motion for uuch u voto being
defeated by but 14 majority In a vote 01
5!K) uiemlcr8. But Gladstone said, with a
sigh: "It Is enough." The Prince of
Wales goes on a visit to Ireland, April 2d.
After a round of festivities in Dublin he
will sojourn In the south as the guest of
the earl of Kenmore, at Killarney.
Congress wound up its business by noon
on Wednesday, having indeed prolonged
Its existence somo 13 minutes beyond its
legal life by the cheap device of turning
back the clock. All the appropriation bills
except the river and harbor bill were got
through, so that the necessity for an extra
session Is ljapplly avoided. The last act
wa the . passage by the house, through
adroit management on the part of Randall,
of tlie senate bill to retire Gen. Grant with
the pay aud title of General of the Army.
The bill was promptly signed by the presi
dent, who also, In prompt compliance witli
Its provisions, appointed Gen. Grant to the
position designated in the bill, and the sen
ate as Its last act before adjournment, con
firmed tho appointment.
He senate-, immediately upon adjourn
ment, was reconvened by priH lamation of
the .president in extra session to act on
Cleveland's appointments, etc.
The inauguration ceremonies at Wash
ington cu Wednesday were on too massive
nnd elaborate a scale to admit or even nn
attempt at description in these columns. It
must BUffi.cc to say that tho day was beauti
ful and that 200,000 strangers, besides the
people of Washington city, witnessed this
pngeaut Hendricks was sworn In as vice
president In tho senate chamber at 13
o'clock, und then President Cleveland and
President Arthur, heading a procession of
tho senate and diplomatic corps, repaired
to the huge platform erected at the eastern
front of the capltol, ffmn which Cleveland
delivered his Inaugural address and where
Chief Justice Walte administered to him
the oath of olllce. Cleveland is said to
have spoken with ease and grace, w ithout
notes, in a clear, distinct voice, but of course
not loud enough to be heard by a tenth of
the 50,000 people w ho composed his audi
ence. After tho ceremonies onthe stand,
the procession was formed, headed by the
presidential party In carriages and escorted
by 20,000 military in line, consisting of
northern and southern troops, white soldiers
and ueirro soldiers, commanded by (Jen.
Blocum, aided by Gen. Lee, und so through
out a Jumble of ex union and ex confeder
ate oflkers. Thu oillec of the procession
was to escort the new president to the
White House, which done, It dissolved.
The Inauguration ball in tho evening was
attended Uy 50,000 people, and was tho
grandest affair of the kind ever witnessed
on the continent.
The inaugural of President Cleveland is
simply tin easy and graceful address, w 1th
out any particularly striking passages or
foreshadowing of the policy of Ids admin
istration. 'Even the silver men are relieved
to find in it no allusion to the " daddy dol
lar," though they must admit that the omls
clon was from no lack of courage on the
part of Mr. Cleveland, who but a week ago
iad given them very plainly Lit ideas on
that head In tho letter from Albany ad-
k dressed to Mr. Warner. Tho president
si wisely concluded that the inaugural was
t&no place for controversial topic, such mat-
tors being appropriately reserved for form
al communication with tho law making
power after duo deliberation in cabinet.
Public anxiety not only in New ork,
hut throughout tho country, has been great
ly aroused during tho past week with ref
erence to the condition of General Grant.
There is no doubt he is a very sick man,
and his "taking oil" very probably a mat
ter of a very few nioinhs. His- trouble is
from a cancerous growth at the root of tin
tongue, which Is steadily increasing, but
which no surgery can reach nnd for which
there is no euro. Dr. Douglas, his family
physician, says: "He may live fora month
yet, out thorn is no hope that lie will ever
recover." The physicians aro not agreed
whether the cancer was caused by Grant's
ovifssivn siiiokitiL'. but ho has shown his
remarkable will power by not touching a
cigar, or tobacco in any form, since last
On Thursday morning Cleveland sent to
tho Senate the following nominations as
members of hi cabinet:
Secretary or State Thomas F. Iiayard.
of Delaware.
Secretary of tho I reasury Daniel .Man-
rung, or iew i oik.
s'eeretarv of War William C. Endicott,
of Massachusetts.
Secretary of tho Navy William C.
Whitney, of Isew York.
Secretary or the Interior L. Q. C.
Lamar, of Mississippi.
Postmater General William F.Vilas, of
Attorney General A. II. Garland, of Ar
kansas. Tho expectation was that, pursuant to all
previous custom, the nominations would be
at once unanimously confirmed; but Rid-
dleberger rose and objected to the confirma
tion of Iiayard on the ground of his anti
dynamitic resolution in tho Senate n
month ago, and as he threatened to shame
the Senato further with his indecency by
making a long speech, the senate at once
Tho cabinet, substantially as foreshad
owed for a week, is unijuestionably a very
strong one. Its members need no introduc
tion to the American people, to whom
their names have been familiar for years.
Senator Iiayard is undoubtedly tho fore
most statesman in the Democratic ranks.
Manning, who rose from u poor boy,
through all the grades from printer's devil
in tho ollice of tho Albany Anjus to chief
editor, and then, as president of vari
ous banking Institutions, became noted as
an exceptionally astute nnd clear headed
financier, Is an admirable man to be placed
at tho head of tho treasury. Endicott,
though not much known as a politician,
won an honorable fame in the olllce of
chief justice of his stato, as one of New
England's ablest and purest men. Whitney
won Ids fame through his successful light
against corruption as corporation counsel
of New York city, and his title to the navy
portfolio by his Intimate knowledge of the
conditions and needs of our navy. Lamar
is unquestionably the ablest, as he is one
of the purest southern men In public life,
and n a recognition of the claims of tho
southern Democracy no selection could
have been more appropriate. Vilas is
honored by all western people as Wiscon
sin's favorite son a man no less conspicu
ous for his purity of life than command
ing talents; and A. II. Garland has won
fume In a brief service In the United
States Senate as one of the country's ablest
constitutional lawyers.
Cleveland starts out well. With such
men to plan and advise with, his adminis
tration can bo relied upon to make no seri
ous mistakes.
Tho acts and doings of tho Illinois legis
lature can be summed up in few words.
Friday, Saturday and Monday there were
not over a dozen members present in either
house, and no business was attempted be.
yond at mxin of each day meeting in joint
convention and going through the formali
ty of voting for lr. S. senator.
On Tuesday, however, all tho Democrats
of both houses were present, except three
Bridges and Hummel, who were sick,
and Mcllule, who hud stolen off to Wash
ington. About thirty Republicans were
absent. As no Republican, however, is ex
pected to vote for senator until the vacancy
caused by tho death of Representative
Logan is tilled, of course there is no need
for tho Democrats to vote with a single
one of their members absent; and as
Mcllule will probably be absent all week,
no actual vote on Senator need be looked
for before next Tuesday, if then. Mean
time, Morrison himself left on Tuesday
night for Washington, to bo gone a week.
On Wednesday, however, in the joint
session, Speaker Haines concluded to
change the monotony of casting a solitary
voto for Morrison and voted for Richard
Rishop. He said he had stuck to Morrison
as long as there was any hope of his elec
tion, but now that must be given up. He
seemed to bo offended because Morrison
had gone away without consulting him.
Mcrritt replied to Raines, saying until
Morrison received the entire Democratic
vote his name would never be withdrawn.
As the joint session dissolved, two Demo
crats, Campbell (a strong Halnesite)" and
llaker, got into an altercation in the house
over Merritt's speech, and finally came to
blows. Of course there was a tremendous
uproar, but the belligerants were parted
before either had Buffered serious bodily
The only legislation of the week worthy
to bo named was the passage of a bill by
the Senate, rrn, Tuesday, requiring that the
pupils in the public schools shall be in
structed in physiology and hygiene, with
sjieclal reference to tho effect of alcoholic
beverages and tobacco on the human sys
tem; and ordering the bill to a third
rending by the same body to elect
judges In each Judicial circuit.
Verymrmy of Tiik Fiikk Tiiadi.u ox
changes are appealing for help from their
delimiuent subscribers. This story is in
variably repeated after every county, stab
or national election. The average reader
imagines that the campaign is a fat thing
for the newspapers. -Now, tho truth is
nine cases out of ten and that solitary om
exception is when a candidate is liberal
enough to pay for tho work which tin
newspapers that supports him do fir him
--campaign years are thi! very hardest tin
newspapers experience. They frequently
go into thecampaigii full of vigor and fight
for the ticket, use up their space in th
protection und advancement of the interests
of some special favorites, to tho neglect of
oilier matters, and they come out of the
contest with a few hundred less sibserib-
ers. While it is a matter of consolation to
be on the side that wins, it is often found
bv newspapers that tho candidate who
' gets there" is ns remiss in remembering
his promises to pay us tho defeated one
It has got to such a pass that with new s
paper publishers ante-promises i.naccom
panied by the cash are regarded with ex
treme Indifference. There is not a paper
in this county whose publisher hiu not on
the debit side of his ledger very inmy such
unbalanced accounts. This is absolutely
tine of papers labeled " Demociatic " or
" Republican." It is erroneously supposed
that these publishers are bound to sur
render their space to a whole array of a
convention's nominees and tight their po
litical and personal squabbles, making
bitter enemies of friends and pirtrons on
tho other side. Why a newspapir should
lie expected to do this, and do it for noth
ing, is not exactly clear to ordinary com
prehension. There is no business man in
the country that is so long in reaching a
competence ns tho newspaper publisher.
Let any other business man devote his
time aud attention tu his occupation for a
period of ten years und lie finds hiu self, it
not aide to retire, at least in a state tf inde
pendence. Nobody asks or expects liim
to do anything for nothing, and he wiuldn't
if they did. It Is all well enough for a
paper to work for tho party when thi party
is honest enough to work for it, oth'rwise
it ceasesio be a labor of love.
Few readers of the Furor. Tuauki may
know that a son of Daniel O'ConnelJs was
alive until a few weeks age, when tie pa
pers announced his death. Morgan 0'Con
nell, tho Liberator's second son, was a col
league of G rattan's in 1S:)0, nnd lgured
twice in his father's memorable controver
sies. When O'Connell called LordAlvau
ley a "bloated buffoon" and refused him
satisfaction on nccount of tho rulo le had
made after killing D'Esterre, Morgai took
up the (piarrel and three shots wee ex
changed, when his lordship said hi had
enough. When O'Connell denounced Dis
raeli as a miscreaut, a wretch and allar,
and a lineal descendant of tho blasphenous
thief who died impenitent on the iross,
Disraeli retorted by calling O'Coniell a
Yahoo, and desired that he, Ids son, ononie
one would give him an opportunly to
avenge the insult. Morgan prompty ac
cepted the challenge, but both principals
were arrested and hound over to leep the
peace, and the duel was declared S.
The senato passed what is knovn as the
Tubb's bill, last Saturday. It proides that
tho pupils of tho public schools shall bo
taught from proper text books riiysiology
and hygiene, with especial referoice to the
effects of alcoholic drinks upon tie human
ystem, and that rafter January 1st, 1880,
any public school neglecting togive such
instruction shall forfeit its proportion of
the state school fund. Toadies are bv
tho bill debarred from being graued certifi
cates unless they puss a satisfactiry exam
ination in the above branches will refer
ence to the effects of liquor on the system.
l'he bill passed the senate, Formal, Riue-
hait and Seiter voting against it. "he bill
was framed by Mary Allen West, pesident
W. C. T. I.
A bill has been introduced in tin Illinois
legislature, providing that a verdie by nine
or more members of a petit juryshall bo
sufiicient to decide a case. Shotikithis bill
become a law it will be a great stving of
time to tho courts, besides beiig a vast
saving of money to tho tax-paye.s. The
one or two members who freipienty hung
a jury through pig-headed obstinicy will
have lost their occupation. A billto abol
ish the grand jury system is just in much,
if not more imperatively demandet.
There will be a meeting of tin school
teachers of Central Illinois, at Rhoining
ton, on the lth and 1 1th. The citrons of
liloomiiigton propose to entertain ill who
notify tho local committee of their -oming.
Mr. J. K. Moller, of Morris, shipied his
household effects on last Monday to Dos
Moines, Iowa, where he will reside in the
future. The family will leave the 3rst of
next week. Mr. Moller Is a very worthy
man. While there he made soae fast
friends who wish for him unloundd suc
ln his now home. He was formerdj one
of the principals cf the city schools of La
Can :ny one evolve from his inter con
sciousness what will be the panurount is
suo In the spring campaign? Willit be fit
ness or uulitness for ollice ? Will he tick
et be a half -breed stalwart mugwimp-re-publiean
democratic prohibition atortion,
or a straight out ticket defining part lines?
Will there or will there not bo a c bingo of
administration? Will any of the coilldates
be provided with a platform or Et? Is
there to be a change of policy ? Ae taxes
to be lower or higher ? Will the Iepubll-
cau candidates be afraid to run uoler the
.1 1 i ii ...Gn.l lil nnrtw " nnil will ttlmll rn an mlimtnrl ns to relieVn tlift neo. I
banner of tho " grand old party," and will
tho Democratic candidate ask his Repub
lican neighbor for support? Who will rise
and define tho Issue, or, If there Is no Issue,
who possesses the political courage to make
one ?
Cleveland's Inaugural Address.
Fr.r.i.ow CITiKNs: In the presence of
this vast assemblage of my countrymen, I
urn about to supplement and seal by the
oath which I shall take tho manifestation
of tho will of a great and free people. In
tho exercise of their power and the right of
self-trovernnient thev have committed to
one of their fellow citizens a supreme and
sacred trust; nnd be here consecrates him
self to their sen ice. This impressive cere
mony adds little to the solemn sense of re
sponsibility with which 1 contemplate tho
ilutv I owe to all the people of the land.
Nothing can relieve me from anxiety lest
bv any net of mine their interests may sut
fer, and nothing is needed to strengthen
niv resolution to engage every faculty und
effort in the promotion of their welfare.
Amid the din of party strife the people's
choice was made; but its attendant circum
stances have demonstrated a new strength
and safety of the government by the peo
ple. In each succeeding year it more clear
ly appears that our democratic principle
needs no npology, and that in its fearless
and faithful application is to be found the
surest guaranty of good government.
Rut the best results iu the operation of a
government wherein every citizen has a
share largely depend upon tho proper limi
tation of purely partisan zeal ond effort and
a correct appreciation of tho time when the
heat of the partisan should be merged in
the patriotism of tho citizen. To-day the
executive branch of the government is
transferred to new keeping. Rut this is
still noue the less an object of their affec
tionate solicitude. At this hour the animos
itiesof political strife, the bitterness of par
tisan defeat, and the exultation of partisan
triumph should be supplanted by ungrudg
ing acquiescence in the popular will aud
solier, conscientious concern lor the general
weal. Moreover, if from this hour we
cheerfully and honestly abandon all section
al prejudice and distrust, and determine,
with manly confidence in one another, to
work out harmoniously the achievement
of our national destiny, we shall deserve to
realize nil the benefits which our happy
form of government can bestow.
On this auspicious occasion we may well
renew tho pledge of our devotion to the
(institution, which, launched .by the foun
ders of tho republic, und consecrated by
their pruvers und patriotic devotion, nasior
almost a century borne tho hopes aud aspl
rations of a great people through prosperi
ty and peace and through tho shocks of for
eign conflicts and the perils of domestic
strife and vicissitudes. iy tue lamer oi iris
country our constitution was commended
for adoption as tho result ot a spirit oi am
itv and mutual concession. In that same
spirit it should lie administered, in order to
promote the lastlmr weliure ot tlie country,
and to secure the full measure of Its price
less benefits to us and to those who will suc
ceed to tlie blessings of our national life.
The large variety of diverse and competing
interests subject'to federal control, persist
ently seeking the recognition ot their
claims, need give us no fear that "tlie grea
test good to tlie greatest number" will fail
to be accomplished If, in tlie halls of na-
tional legislation, that spirit of amity and
mutual concession shall prevail in which
tho constitution had its birth. If this in
volves the surrender or .postponement of
private Interests and the abandonment of
local advantages, compensation will be
found in the assurance that thus the com
mon interest is subserved and the general
welfare advanced.
In the discharge of my official duty I
shall endeavor to be guided by a just and
unconstrained construction of the constitu
tiou, a careful observance of tlie distinction
between the powers granted to the federal
government and those reserved to the states
or to tho people, and by a cautious appreci
ation of those functions which, by the con
stitution and laws, have been especially as
signed to tlie executive branch of the gov
ernment. Hut he who takes tho oath to-day
to preserve, protect and defend the consti
tution of tho United States only assumes
tlie solemn obligation which every patriot
ic citizen on the farm, in the work shop, in
tho busy marts of trade, und everywhere
should share witli him. The constitution
which prescribes the oath, my countrymen,
is yours ; the government you have chosen
him to administer for a time is yours; the
suffrage which executes the will of free
men is yours; the laws aud tho entire
scheme of our civil rule, from tlie town
meeting to the stato capitals nnd the natio
nal capital, is yours. Your every voter, ns
surely as your chief magistrate, under the
same high sanction, though iu a different
sphere, exercises a public trust. Nor is
this all. Every citizen owes to the country
a vigilant watch und ( lose scrutiny of it's
public servants and a fair and reasonable
estimate of their fidelity nnd usefulness.
Thus is the people's will impressed upon
the whole framework of our civil polity
municipal, state and nation! 1 and this is
the price of our liberty and the inspiration
of our fath in the republic.
It is the duty of those serving the peo
ple iu public place to closely limit tlie pub
lic expenditures to the actual needs of the
government, economically administered,
because this bounds tho right of the gov
ernment to exact tribute from the earnings
of labor or the property of the citizen, and
because public extravagance begets ex
travagance among tho people. We should
never be ashamed of the simplicity and
prudential economy which are best suited
to the operation of a republican form of
government, and most compatible with
the mission of the American people.
Those who are selected for a limited time
to manage public affairs nro still of tlie
people, and may do much by their exam
Hie to encourage, consistently with the dig
nity of their ollicial functions, that plain
way of life which among their fellow citi
zens aids integrity, and promotes thrift and
prosperity. The genius of our institutions,
tho needs of our people in the home life,
and tlie attention which is demanded for
tlie settlement and development of the re
sources of our vast territory, dictate the
scrupulous avoidance of any departure
from that foreign policy commended by
tlie history, the tradition and tho prosjierity
of our republic. It is the policy of inde
jieudeuce, favored by our position, and de
feuded by our know n love of justice, and
by our jHiwer. It is the policy of jence
suitable to our interests. It Is'the policy
of neutrality, rejecting any share in for
eign broils and ambitions upon other con
tinents, and reddling their intrusion here.
It is the policy of Monroe und Washington
and J efferson " Peace, commerce and hon
est friendship with all nations, entangling
alliances with none."
A due regard for the interests and pros
perity of all the people demands that our
finances shall be established upon such a
sound and sensible basis as shall secure the
safety nnd confidence of the business In-J
terests, and make the wace of labor sure
and 6teady, and that our system of revenue I
shall be so adjusted ns to relieve the peo
ple from unnecessary taxation, Laving a
4ue regard to the interests of capital in
vested und worklngmen employed In
American industries. and preventing the
accumulation of a surplus in tho treasury
to leuipt extravagance and waste.
Cure for the property of the nation und
for the needs of future settlers requires
that tlie public domain should lie protected
from purloining schemes and unlawful
occupation. The conscience of tho people
demands that tho Indians within our
boundaries shall bo fairly and honestly
treated ns tho wards of tho government,
and their education nnd civilization pro
moted, witli a view to their ultimate citi
zenship, und that polygamy in the territo
ries, destructive of tho family relation und
offensive to the moral sense of the civilized
world, shall be repressed.
The laws should bo rigidly enforced that
prohibit tlie immigration of a servile class
to compete with American labor with no
intention of ncquiringcitizenship and brin
ging with them habits and customs repug
nant to our civilization.
Tho people demand reform in the admi
nistration of our government anil the appli
cation of business principles to public af
fairs. As a means to this end civil service
reform should bo in good faith enforced.
Our citizens have tlie right to protection
from the incompetency of public employes
who hold their places solely as tho rew ard
of partisan service and from tlie corrupting
inlluence of those who promise, and tho vi
cious methods of those who expect, such
rewards; und those who worthily seek pub
lic employment have the right to insist that
merit and competency shall be recognized,
instead of party sul s;rviency or tlie surren
der of honest political belief, iu the admin
istration of a government pledged to oo
equal and exact justice to all men.
There should bo no pretext for anxiety
touching tho protection or the freedmen in
their rights or their security in tho enjoy
merit of their privileges under tlie consti
tution and its amendments. All discussion
as to their fitness for the place accorded
them ns American citizeus is Idle and un
profitable, except as it suggests the necessi
ty for 4helr improvement. Tlie fact that
they aro citizens entitles them to all the
rights due to that relation and charges them
with all its duties and responsibilities.
These topics nnd the constant and ever-
varying wants of nn active and enterprising
population may well receive the attention
aud tiio patriotic endeavor of all who make
and execute tho federal law. Our duties
are practical and call for Industrious appli
cation, an intelligent perception of tlie
claims ot public office, and, above all, a firm
determination by united action to secure to
ll l. . 1.. .. J . 1 1 1 .1... 4-..1 I 1.4'..,.
an ine jieojue oi ine lauu ine iiui ui-iit-ms
ot the best form of government over vouch
safed to man. And let us not trust to hu
man effort alone, but hunibly acknowledge
the power nnd goodness of Almighty God,
who presides over tlie destiny of nations,
and who has at ail times been revealed in
our country's history. Let us invoke His
aid aud His blessing upon our labors.
The Gosaipei'.
El Mahdi nm I, boss of Sandy Soudan,
And I hardly think a more competent man
Could be found between Tennessee and Japan,
To bounce the bold British Invaders.
I'm a twelve-lingered, bow-legged son of a
I'm a prophet from way-back a child of the
I'm a dnudy, a lnl-luh, a durlin', a hun',
I'm a red-headed ripper and raider.
My followers number two million or more,
And every man of 'em equal to four.
They're not much for style, but .uey're dan
dies for gore ,
They're bad men from Keshir-el-Wadlr.
El Gordon I've captured, I'm happy to state;
El Stewart has met his well-merited fate ;
I'll butcher El Wolseley if he only wait,
And Queen Vic will tliiuk luck has be
trayed her.
So strike, shirtless sons ot the shimmering
One more blow for your prophet (that's me,
Disembowel the Insolent infidel band!
Vivisect tho infernal invader.
This is Lent and the yum-yum sociable
will have to take a back pew for a while.
There were many acts of patient heroism,
noble, daring nnd polite gallantry born
to blush unseen and waste their fragrance
on the frig'd ntmcsphere during tho late
snow-storm. One of these has just como
to hand, ns the saying is. Some evenings
ago a party of three young men, with their
respective best girls, went out to enjoy a
sleichimi serenade. On the return the
sleigh broke down a half mile beyond the
corporation line, and the young men carried
tlie girls home in their arms, or, to give tlie
story of two of tlie young mon, they say
that they carried their girls, and that the
other fellow was so small und weak ho
couldn't hoist his, and so site curried him
through the snow drifts. Noble girl, tliut.
While attending the rink, occasionally,
in tlie character of a spectator, the question
has been so frequently put to the Gossipeu
as to why he didn't skate, that it isdeemed
incumbent on him to rise and explain.
His feet are so big that he could not afford
to pay for skating surface. That's the
The Tinas says that " a savage bull dog
bit a gentleman on the west side, near the
Burlington depot, Sunday. He pulled the
man down and bit him severely in tlie leg."
It seems that after biting the gentleman
orr his west side the dog concluded the re
past by making desert of the man's leg.
There Is an ordinance prohibiting dogs
from using up a gentleman's west side or
leg in this manner, and it is just as well
to have an understanding altout the matter
before his dogship bites him on the south
My friends, this is that portion of the
year when The Fkee Tuapeii subscribers
are apt to contract serious colds, it is well,
then, for you to be somewhat circumspect
and hold on to tlie winter edition of j-our
flannel under clothing for a week or two
longer1. So den't be in a hurry regarding
tho matter, and if you take tho Gossiter's
advice you may yet rise up and call him
blessed. .
It was a sad day for Earlville when it got
uown to a ginger-aie uasis. me cue,
this radical change is noticeable in glancing
over the columns of tho fcathr. The papor
no longer sparkles with pungent scintilla
tions from the pen of its witty editor.
There is an air as of a mournful reveille
pervading its articles. It editorial vertebra
is out of plumb, and there is a dismalness
In the place where it was wont to bo so
lugubrious. J. W. Turner Is practically In
sackcloth and ashes, und he doesn't take
kindly to cider nnd gingcr-ulo as a tonic.
The ideas that he transmits to his paper
are dull, Insipid and heavy, and that don't-care-lf
I do-liko smile has departed, leav
ing in its wake a settled melancholia. Tho
young lady with whom he glodo so grace
fully at the rink misses him from her side,
and ho has fenced himself in from society.
Tho ginger alo basis has wrought this sad
A Lazy Man's Club has been in practical
organization in tills city for some time past.
Tlie follow iug mimed persons are tho prop
erly constituted officers of tlie club: Win.
Fowler, Pres. ; Geo. Rugg, Jus. Holmes,
Ira Nelson, W. S. Hell and Jas. K. Meigs,
Vice Presidents; Jas. Holmes, Keeper of
tho Privy Seal; R. J. Montgomery, Sec'y.j
John I). Morgan, treasurer of spondulicks;
Jay Rlodgett, spiritual director for tho
gang. In view of tlie close of W. E. Row
man's official career, he has asked permis
sion to join the club aud his application is
now under consideration.
The autograph of tho supervisor on a
bank check in favor of the paper that he
has been taking for tho past year, would
balance a long-felt want just now. Verhum
sup, etc.
A Streator "girl telephoned to Deputy
County Clerk McKeon, one afternoon re
cently as to what legal steps she would be
required to take to get married. J. C. re
plied that the first formula necessary was
to obtain a proposal.
What In all the world is the matter with
tho Utica iWir now ? He must have had
an attack of gangrenous bile, or his liver
or kidneys are out of tune, or maybe it is a
mild attack of the glanders or epizootythat
nils him. Last week he wrote "us" fel
lows up in nil the glowing colors of the
rainbow, for which there is neither time
nor space or genius adequate to give a fit.
ting acknowledgment. It is entirely too
bad that such a bright mind is hopelessly
hurled in tho sand-bars and mud-holes of
Tlie Old Democratic Clock.
Editors Free Trader : We have a
" staunch " democratic clock one that
wouldn't run under the republican admin
istration. No matter how much it was oile d
or cleaned, taken apart and set up again,
the obstinate clcck refused to strike; but on
the day and very Jwurth&t President Cleve
land was being inaugurated, the clock
struck the hour appointed, and has struck
every hour since up to the present writing I
and no one was near it. I was about my
household duties, and as soon as I heard it
strike I thought, " Well, there, that is a
democratic clock, and that was the reason
it refused to strike." Democrat.
Marseilles, March 5. 1S83.
JolniHon's Cyclopii'dla.
The best! The cheapest! Answers more
questions than any other, and gives later and
more accurate information than any of its
It is a really American work and while
It neither neglects nor ignores any part of
tlie world, is particularly full on all subjects
relating to the United States.
It is not a patch work made up of foreign
and almost forgotton works and illustrated
witli cuts prepared about the time of Polk's
administration. Every article was w ritten
expressly for it by a master in his depart
ment, and the maps and illustrations were
prepared for it. It is kept revised to date
as near as possible. It cannot be had at
book stores, but only of authorized agents.
Rend what is saiil of it:
Ottawa, Feb, 2:M, 1885.
Iluvinir examined Johnson's New I'nivcrsal
Cyclopedia, 1 recommend it ns a good family
Cyclopedia. Its articles are ns nearly correct
and as well adapted to thu use of all classes of
students as nny work of the kind Unit has
conic under nfy observation. Raving read
ilu. Ktnti'ini'iit of the Kev. Mr. Fletcher con
cerning the merits of this scholarly work, I
hereby bcurtiiy coincide vmi ma wonis
commendation. A. (it itXEV,
Pastor of M. E. Church
Rev. Geo. F. Magoun, D. D., ex-Presi-dent
of Iowa College, says:
" I am pursiiaded that Johnson's Cyclo
pedia lias great claims on the confidence
of all who need and what Intelligent per
son does not ? such a book for reference."
Rev. J. S. Ruck, Professor in Iowa Col
lege, Grinnell, Iowa, says:
"Tho more 1 examine Johnson's the
better I like it. There is no wonder that
it finds so many purchasers at a price so
M. W. Bartlett, Trof. of Engtsh Lan
euage and Llteratue, Iowa State Normal
School, says:
" For accuracy, clearness and concise
ness of statement, nnd perfection in the
bookmaker's art, Johnson's Cyclopiedla is
all that one can desire."
Prof. R. S. Bingham, Principal of the
Cellar Falls, Iowa, schools, says:
t i,avo used Johnson's Cyclopaedia con
stantly for five years, and have no hesitation
In saying mat u u o"r""
field which it professes to occupy.
Prof C. C. Dudley, Supt. of the Jiaquo
kata, Iowa, schools? the best of judges, says:
"Johnson's Cyclopicdia stands wiuiout a
M nd the wonder is how such a prince
of cycloiwdlas can bo had at a price so
low compared with other more cumber
some but really less valuable works."
Prof. G. H.Laughlin,A.M.,ex-I,resident
Oskaloosa College, says:
fvclotwdia is the king of
books a monument to tho learning of the

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