Newspaper Page Text
VOL. NO. 16.
POETRY COME HOME. Come home. Would I could send my spirit o’er the deep Would I could win" it like a bird to thee, To commune with thy thoughts, to fill Ihy sleep, With ths -so unwearying words of mel ody— Brother, come home! Como home. Como to the hearts that love thoc, to the eyes That beam in brightness but to glad den thine; Come where fond thoughts Ilka holiest incense rise— Whore cherished memory rears her al tar’s shrine, Brother, come home! Come homo. C«toc to tho hearth-stone of thy earlier days. Come to the ark, like the o’erwearied dove; Come to the sunlight of thy heart’s warm rays. Come to the s»v side circle of thy love. Biother, come home. Come home. It is not borne without thoe: the lone Feat It still unclaimed where thou wert wont to be; In every -oho of returning feet. In rsin we list for what should herald thee. Brother, come home! Come homo. Wa’vc rwirsed for thee the sunny buds of spring— Watched »v’ry geim a full-blown flowret rear; faw oVr t! air bloom the chi 1/ winter bring It* tor garland*—and thou art not bore! Brother, come ho»ae! Come home. w onM I eeuld send my spirit o’er the deop, Would I could wing it like a bird to the*. To commune with thy thoughts, to fill tby sleep With the unwearying wor Is of melody, Brother, come homo! A GALLANTS OFFER 4l \r,nr hf>rn**, dear M’ss, is vcrj far, 'I he winds are cold and high, splendid moon or twinkling star Is looking from the sky; fco please, Mi«s, take my profferd arm. Then lot the varmhits come; I*ll see \ou safe from liight or harm Within your q’.uet home.” *‘l know, dear sir, the way Is rough, ] know the night is dark; And certain ’twould »ecin well enough For me to have a spark; Hut I vowed some voars ago, Call mo vou may a burubusr, Mr arm should never enter through The handle of a rum jug!” MISCELLANY. SCANDAL “Now, lot it woik. Mischief, thou art afoot, Take what comes thou wilt.” The subslunre of the following is no fiction. In a neighboring Tillage, whose inhabitants, like the good people of Athens, were much given to “either tell or hear some new llijng,' 5 lived Squire I*, a facetious good natural sort of a body whoso jokes arc even yet a matter of Village Kecord, and have been rc-told through various editions, from folio down to duodecimo. Annt Lixay was Deacon Snipe’s wife’s sister—-a maiden lady of about fifty— the went to all the meetings—kept a regular account of every birth, death and maniage, with their dates—doctor ed all the babies and knew every yarb in the neighborhood—showed all young married women in the neighborhood bow to make soap, and when they had bad lack, made every child in the house set rrOM legged until the luck changed. In #ao, she was a kind of village factotum ' «p<mt her time in going from boose to "Bert liall lit PEBBB, Thi PIOPLO RIS3IS niiUii; DiutJ by hflmet, lii mbtibtd bj BilU COLUMBIA, TUOLUMNE COUNTY, CALIFORNIA, SATURDAY, FEBRUARY ffi, ism house, grinding out a grist of slander to uadi, as occasion required, but always concluded with “the way of transgres sors is hard; poor Mrs. A. or B. (as the case was) I pity her from the bottom of my heart,” or some such very soothing reflection. Aunt Lizzy was always very fond of asking stringers and others, without regard to time or place, ‘‘the state of their minds; how they enjoyed their minds,” &e. Those questions were generally followed by a string oi scandal, which was calculated to destroy the peace and happiness of some of her best neighbors and friends. But she, like other narrators of lids kind, consid ered sueh intellectual murder as either establishing her own lair reputation, or as the only mode of entertaining the vil lage, and thereby rcndeiiug society agreeable. One warm summer afternoon, as the Squire was sitting near his office door, smoking h'u pipe, Aunt Lizzy was pass ing by with great speed, ruminating on the news of the day, when the Squire brought her suddenly to, us the sailors say, by “what’s your hurry, aunt Lizzy, walk in.” The old lady, who never wanted a second invitation, wont into the ofliec, and the following dialogue soon commenced; “Weil, Squire P., I have been think ing this forenoon what a useful man you might be, if you'd only leave off your light conversation, sis the good book says and become a serious man—you might be an ornament to both church and state, as our Minister says.” “Why, as to that, Aunt Lizzy, a cheerful countenance I consider as the best index of a grateful heart, and you know what the Bible says on the sub ject—“ When ye fast, be not as the hyp ocrites of a sal countenance; but anoint thy head and wash thy face, (aunt Liz zy began to feel for her pocket hand- 1 kerchief, for she was a taker of snuff,) that ihoa appear not unto men to fast.” “X )w,thuG, Squire—that’s just what I told you—.oe bow you have scriptor at your tongue’s end, what an useful man you might be in our church, ifyou’d only be a duoer as well as a hearer of the word.” “As to that, aunt Lizzy, I don't sec that you ‘ professors,” as you call them, are a whit better than lam, in private [ respect a sincere professor as much as any man; but I know enough of one oi your church, whom you think a great deal of, to know that she is not better than she should be!” At these iauendocs, Aunt Lizzy’s at tic black eyes began . > twinkle; she sa‘ ■down beside the S poire, in order to -peak in a lower ton. —-spread her hand kerchief over her lap -urn began to tap the cover of her snuff h -x in true style, and all things being in readiness for a regular seige of “scaudaluui magnatum,” she commenced Are— Now, Squire, I want to know what you mean by one of our < hutch! I knew who you mean—the trollop—l hi !n't like so many ■ rls about her head, when she told her experience.” The Squire finding curiosity was put ting hi? boots on, had no occasion to add spurs to the heels, for the old lady had i.uc ia her head that was worth both of them. Accordingly, he had no peace until hr e ttseated to explain what ho meant by the expression “in private’’— this was a dear word with aunt Lizzy. “Now, aunt Lizzy, will you take a Bible oath, that you will nev r commu nicate what I am about to tell you to a living being, and that you will keep it while you live as a most inviolable se cret:” “Yes, Squire, I declare I won’t nev er tell nobody nothing about it as long as I breathe the breath of life; and I’ll take a Bible oath on it; there, sartin as I iivo, Squire, before you or any other magistrate in the whole country.’’ “Well, then, you know when I went up to Boston a year ago?” Yes, yes, Squire, and I know who wont with you, too—Susey B. and Dol ly T., and her sister Prudence.” “Never mind who went with me, aunt Lizzy, there was a whole lot of pas sengers—but, hut—” “None of your buts, Squire—out with it—if folks will act so—a trollop— ’’ “But aunt Lizzy, I’m afraid you’ll bring me into the scrape—” “I ve told you over and over again, that nobody never shall know nothing about it and your wife knows I a’nt leakv —” My wife ! I would’nt have her know what I was going to say for the world why, aunt Liazy, if she should know it—” “Well, don’t bo afear’d, Squire, once ; fjr all, I’ll take say oath that no IMdz erittur shan’t never a.? long as I live, know a li>p on’t.” “Well, then—if you must know it—l dept with one of the likeliest of your church members nearly half the way up!” Aunt Lizzy drew In a long breath— shut up her snuff box, and put it in her pocket, muttering to herself— “ The likeliest of our church members! 1 thought it was Susey B—likeliest!— this comes of being flattered—a trollop. Well, one thing I know—‘the way of transgressors is bard;’ but I hope you’ll never tell nobody on’t, Squire; for sar tin as the world, if sich a thing should be known, our church would be scatter ed abroad, like sheep without a shep herd.” In a few moments aunt Lizzy took her departure, giving the Squire anoth er caution and a sly wink, as she said good-bye—let me alone for a secret. It was not many days before Squire P. received a very polite note from Par son G., requesting him to attend a meet ing of the church, and many of the par ish, at the south. Conference room in or der to settle some difficulties with one of the church members, who, in order to clear up her character, requested Squire P. to be present. The Parson, who was a very worthy man, knew the frilty of some of the weak sisters, as aunt Lizzy called them, and as he was a particular friend of Squire P.’s requested him in his note to say nothing of it to his wife.—But the Spuire took the bint, and telling his wife that there was a parish mctliug, re quested her to he ready by 2 o’clock, and he would call for her. Accordingly, the hour of meeting came—the whole village flocked to the room, which could not hold half of them. All cj’cs wore alternately on the Squire aud Susey B. Mrs. P. stared, and Su sey looked as though she bad been cry ing a fortnight. The Parson, with sof tened tone, and in as delicate a manner as possible, stated the story about Susey B.,which lie observed was in everybody’s mouth, and which he did not him self believe a word of—Squire P. being called on to stand as a witness—after painting in lively colors- the evils of slan der, with which their village had been infested, and particularly the church, called on aunt Lizzy, in presence of the meeting, and before the church, to corno out and make acknowledgment for vio lating a Bibb* oath! Aunt Lizzy's apol ogy was, that she only told Deacon Snipe's wife on’t and site look an oath that sh ' would’ut never te!i nobody else on’t. Deacon Snipe’s wife had, it ap pears, sworn Toolhaker’s sister never to toll nobody on’t—and -o it wont through the whole church, and thence through the village. The squire then acknowledged before the whole meeting, that ho had, as he ■tad told Aunt Lizzy, slept v. i f h a church member, half the way up to Boston, and that ho believed to be one of the likeliest of their members, iuasimnh as she nev r would hear nor retail slander. All eyes wese now alternately on Sus y B. and Squire P.’s wife; aunt Lizzy en joyed a kind of diabolical triumph, which the Squire no sooner perceived then he finished his sentence b\ declar ing t!iat the church member to whom he alluded, teas his brief id wife I ! Aunt Lizzy dr. vr in her head under a huge bonnet, as a turtle (ires under his shell, and inarched array Into one corner of the room, like a dog that has been killing sheep, The Squire as usual, burst out into ant of laughter, from which his wife, Susey B. and even the Parson, could eot refrain joining; and Parson G, afterwards acknowledged that the Squire had given a death blow to scandal in the village, which all his preaching could not have done. Stability of ouu Umio.v, —Wc wore amused the other day by a eta versa tioa of a shrewd broker with a political croak er, who was prophesying that this gov ernment could not possibly exist in its form lor ten years. “I’ll bet ray existence of it,’’ was the constant exclamation of the croaker. “Very well,” said the broker, “I’ll not take a bet, but I’ll make another proposition. You own a considerable quantity of U. S. stocks?” “Yes; all the money I have is invest ed in that way,’’ replied the croaker. t‘\\ efl, in the event of this govern ment breaking «p, your stock would not be worth a red cent, and I will now pur chase at par. Is it a bargain?” The indignant look with which the croaker answered this question, showed how insincere were his croakings about the dissolution of the Union, and the in stability of our government REPORT OF THE STATE TREASURER. To His Excellency , Got. John Bigler: Sir—The time is rapidly approach ing when the Legislature shouldjproceed to consider such revenue measures as they may deem necessary to secure the prompt payment of the interest and principal of the civil debt of the State. As the late Treasurer’s annual report only extends to the conclusion of the fiscal year ending June 30th, 1853, and I am not aware that a supplementary report has been submitted to your Ex cellency; and as some important chang es have taken place in the condition of the State indebtedness since that peri od, I desire to submit to you a brief statements of facts which may aid the Legislature to some extent in deterrain - ing the alterations necessary’ to be made . in the present revenue laws. It is deemed necessary to state that the sinking fund now on hand which has been provided by law to liquidate the principal aud interest on the 3 per cent bonds or bonds issued under the provis ions of an act entitled “an act creating a temporary State loan, passed Feb. Ist ISSO, is’ample for that purpose, and therefore any further provisions for these will be unnecessary. There is at present a sufficient amount in the Treasury to meet the interest falling due in July next on the 7 per cent, civil bonds issued under the pro visions of the funding act of 1851 and have a surplus of 39,478 22 for the re demption of the principal. On January 9th 1854,1 proceeded to advertise for the redemption of 32,- 000 00 of said bonds, agreeably to the provisions of an act entitled “an act sup plementary to an act to fund the debt of the State, &c.,” approved May 4tb 1852. The total amount of civil bonds issued UEUor the provision® bp funding net of 1851, accOK .ho records in this office was $458,500 00 Told ain’t redeemed to date,9B,ooo 00 Ain’t now outstanding exclusive of interest, $300,500 00 Of this ain’t there will fall due on the first of M arch ,1855, $ 131,500 00 Deduct from this ain't sinking fund now on hand, exclusive of interest, 39,475 22 Balance duo Ist March, 1853, exclusive of Interest, $92,023 78 To meet this wo may reasonably cal culate upon whatever cash may he re ceived hereafter in payment of State property sold under the provisions of an abt*‘to provide for the sale of the inter est of the State of California in the prop erty within the water lino front in the city of San Francisco, &c.,” approved May 18, 1853, together with the pro ceeds of the 15 cent property tax, pro vided by the present revenue law. But it should be remembered that while the last Legislature had but sixty :lvo millions of taxable property as v source of revenue to base their calcula tion upon, the present will have nearly one hundred millions; therefore without taking into consideration the cash pro ceeds of the sale of State property in San Francisco, hut little doubt could be entertained of our ability to pay the en tire intcrcs* accruing on the 7 per cent bomhfof ISSI up to Ist of January 18- 55, and of promptly meeting so much of the principal oa the same as will fall due the Ist of March, 1955. Hence I infer that the assessment of 15 cents might ho reduced with safety at least one-third, lessening the burden of taxa tion on the people. This opinion is strengthened by the fact that $27,000 00 of the bonds issued in 1851 will not fall duo until the year iSGi. Presuming that a considerable amount of cash will be received on the sales of the property above mentioned, which will be turned over to the sinking fund of 1851, a reasonable calculation may bo made upon a speedy liquidation of the funded debt of 1851. * The 7 per cent, civil bonds issued under the provisions of an act approved May Ist, 1852, and the supplementary act approved May 17, ,52, constitute the only portion of our civil indebted ness, which would appear to require ad ditional provisions for its payment. The total amount of these hoods issued, as appears by the records of this of fice is $1,419,000 00 Total am’t redeemed to date, 24,500 00 Balance outstanding exclusive of interest $1,394,500 00 To meet the interest which will fall due Ist July next cn this amount-, w® have on hand $10,758 27. To this, it authorized by 1 >.w, might ho added the unemployed $20,000 now on hand and sot apart for the redemption of the prin cipal of the State prison bonds, without prejudice to their present holders, and would leave but little to do on the part of the Legislature to enable me to make the July payment. The necessary means for the support of common schools in which all must feci a deep interest, will of course not be overlooked Ly the Legislature. The interest arising from the sales which have been made of a portion of the five hundred thousand acres of school lands donated to the State for school purposes has proved to be inadequate to meet the public demands, now that the free school policy adopted at the last session of the Legislature is beginning to be fully carried out. The partial experiment already made has had the effect to reveal the fact that California now has thousands within her limits whose tender ages disqualify them for active participation in the af fairs of Government; but to whom ere long must be entrusted to an important extent, the defence and preservation of our republican institutions; a reflection which doubtless inspires every philan thropic and patriotic bosom with a sin cere desire that they to whom this great trnst is to be committed, should be fully prepared to protect it underslandingly. With a due regard to the dictates of prudence and wisdom these great ends can be accomplished, and all reasonable assurance given of the willingness and ability of the State to promptly fulfil all her pecuniary obligations. I have the honor to be Your Excellency’s ob’t servant, S. A. McM FANS, State T.easurer. Abstexiovs Diet.—Many cases of illaess, both in adults and children, may be readily cured by abstinence from all food. Headaches, disordered stomachs, and many other attacks, are often caus ed by violating the rules of health, and, in comequenec, some parts of the system are overloaded, or some of the organs are clogged. Omitting one, two, or three meals, as the c«o may be, gives the system a chance to rest, and allows the clogged organs to dispose of their burdens. The practice of giving drugs to clear out the stomach, though it may afford the needed temporary relief, al ways weakens the system, while absti nence secures the good result, without doing any injury. Said a young gentlemen to a distin guished medical practitioner, in Phila delphia, ‘"Doctor, what do you do for yourself when you have a turn of head ache, or other f&glu attack:” ‘‘Go without my dinner,” was the reply. “And if that does not cure you, what then?” “Go without my supper.” “Hut if that does not cure you what then?” “Go without ray breakfast. Wo phy sicians seldom take medicine ourselves, or use them in our families, for we know that abstinence is hotter, but wc cannot | m iKe our patients believe it.” Many cases of slight indisposition are cured by a -change of diet. Thus, if a person sutlers from constipation, has a | headache, slight attack of fever or dys pepsia, the valise may often be removed by eating rye mush and molasses, baked apples, and other fruits. Dr Johnson a-ed to-ray thi-l noth icy was easier than to draw a crowded house; lot a man announce that ho will preach standing cn his head, and thousands will assemble, to hear him do it. Sterne’s Uncle Toby says that one of the tricks of women is to preteid that they have accidentally got something in there eye,and induce a raha to look into it; and he says the man is sure gone if he looks there for that something. Another Cuban Expedition in Progress. —The Washinton correspon dent of the New York Trihunt, asserts that he has trustworthy information from New Orleans, to the effect that a power ful filibuster expeditioj: is preparing a gainst Cuba, and wilJ sail before the mid dle of February. It is said that the en tire force will consist of 4,000 men, with a General who gained laurels in Mexico at their head. The man who carried a hammer into a Quaker meeting to break the silenca, was bound oror to keep the peace. !» * WHOLE NO. 0* TROUBLESOME NEIGHBORS A gentleman of our acquaintance w i passing an old bouse in Street whii-h had recently been leased by a French • man, and saw the new tenant industri ously at work in the yard, stopping rat holes. As the two said “good morning,” three large, fat, sleck-looking rats chas ed each other from one corner to anoth . er, before their eyes, as if to laugh at Monsieur for his pains. “You have numerous neighbors,'' ob served Mr. P , laughing. “Eh! rVhatyou call’em? noighbare?” cried the Frenchman. “Mon Dieu! you say well—very numereuse!” he added, with a bitter laugh. “Zey eat me up! Zey devour—zey me leave nossing?— Sacre! ze nuraerense noiglibare!” “Poison them,’* replied Mr. P——. He passed on; and saw no more of the Frenchman until evening. Hap pening to enter a drug-store, he heard Monsieur, who stood at the counter, with his back towards him, ask for soma “poison.” “What kind of poison?” demanded the clerk. “Ze diahltl I don’care,” cried the Frenchman. “I will have ze soraethirg to empoisanner —what you call poisor, kill, murdare zc neighhare!” he added, with violent gestures. “The neighbors!” exclaimed the as tonished clerk. “Certamement! to be shoore! ze sacra gottam neighhare!” replied Monsieur.—- “ Zay corac in zc coor—what you call yard. Zey laugh at mo. Zey run ev erywhere. I trow stone—l strike viz ze club—no mattaire! Zey come—zey rob—zey pxss into ze pantree, zey cat ze fromage-jon caU’ein sbeose,(cheese,) eh? Zey take away ze egg, zc bread—- everything! ParbleuJ I will poir on ze neighhare l .” “But I can’t lot you have poison to kill your neighbors,” said the clerk, sup posing, of course, ho was dealing with a maniac. “You cannot? JTcml not give me poison?” cried Monsieur, furiously. “if the neighbors trouble you ” “If zey troohFme! Mille dkJL&e! zey commence one war —I will kill ze every one!” “Wouldn’t It be a better way tu com plain to the authorities?’’ suggested the clerk, mildly, with the air of a man hu moring a maniac. “Complain? ho, he!” laughed Mon sieur, savagely. “You make ze fool of me! By pare! I will have ze satisfac tion of you. You not give me zc poi son now—ch?” Here Mr. P Restraining his mirth, interposed to prevent serious consequen ces, and explained tire Frenchmen’n natural mistake. We need only add that the latter was paciSod—the clerk dclt out “ze poison”—a good laugh was had at the expense of both parties—the rats were extcrimnatcd,while Monsieur's human neighbors were undisturbed. How Deacon Smith Courted thk Widow—The deacon’s wagou stopped one morning before widow Smith’s door, and ho gave the usual country sign that ho wanted somebody in tho house by dropping tho reins and sitting double, with his elbows on his knee*. Out trip ped the widow, lively as a cricket, with a tremendous black ribbon on her snow white cap. “Good morning” was said on both sides, and the widow waited what was further to bo said. “Well, ma’am Jones, perhaps you don't want to scH one ofyour cows, now, for any* thing, any way, do your’’ “Well, there, mister Smith, yoa couldn’t have spoken my mind better, A poor, lone woman like me, docs not know what to do with so many crceturs, and should be glad to trade, if we caa fix it.” So they adjourned to the meadow. Deacon Smith looked at llor.n—then at the widow—at Brindle—then at the wid ow—at Downing eow~ihr,n at the wid ow again—and s« <m through the whole forty. The same call was made every day for a week, but the deacon could not decide what cow be wanted. At length oa Saturday, when (he widow Jones was in a hurry to get through her baking for Sunday—and had “ever so much to da in the house,” as all farmer's wives and widows have on Saturday, the was a lit tle impatient. Deacon Smith was as ir resolute as ever. “That’ ere Downing cow is a pretty fair crcatur,” said he, “but—” he stop ped to glance at the widow’s fa«e— and then walked round her —not the widow —hut tho cow. * 7 hat’ ere short Dnibatp cow if pot a