Newspaper Page Text
THE COLUMBIA DEMOCRAT.
I have sworn tilm the Altar of God, eternal hostility to every form of Tyranny over the Mind of Man." PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY JOHN S. INGRAM. "Volume I. from the Philadelphia SuiurdatJ Chronicle. ' ELEGY ON A MISER. lir hack vo STnxTCiir.n. Old Skinflint's dead! Holler don't laugh, But gravely scan hU epitaph! 1 Id's left the, tilings of time and sen? o His bonds, and mortgagcn, ond mils: And (without discount too) haspnid The debt of nature, long delay 'd. Doubt as you will, I'm Iold to say JIo always' ivalk'd in Wisdom's way, (When chancing in that path nside,) : , Because he was too mean to ride. His charity was used to roam, Fur from his heart and private home; , , Ho liked the. President and Pope, But seldom 'washed his hands with 'soap. His constant faith is clearly shewn By tills lie let good works alone. Daily he rose, resolving frcth, To wound and mortify the flesh; And oft for breakfast would he take, Arnbuldy crust.or heavy cake. He chew'd not, '(but when quids were lent,) ,And smok'd .scgars four, for a cent; And as for drinking, never lip Bought liquor for las' thirsty lip! Whether ho broke, from day to day, Tho ten commands, I cannot say; But as he kept all else, 'Us truo -That he most likely kept them too. If it should o'er lc Johnny's fate To pass through heaven's golden gate Saint Peter! eye him with great care, Or John will fill his pockets there; But if condemn'd to worlds of woo tTis his less lucky lot-to go, 'Tig probable, with kindred souN, JIp'll turn to speculate in coals! ana isiaipisiMKBiB'srQ "Lively and gosipping; .Stored with the treasures of the tattling world, And with a t.pice of mirth too." THE VILLAGE PRIZE. In one of, the lovelicst-villagcs of old Vir ginia there lived in the year 1775, an odd and old man, whose daughter was declared, by universal consent, to be tho loveliest maiden in all the country round. The veteran, in his youth, had been athletic and muscular above all his fellows: and his breast, where ho always wore them, could show the adornment of three medals, received for his victories in gymnastic feats when ayoung man. His daughter was noweightecn, and had been sought in marriage by many sui tors. Ono brought wealth another a fine person another this, and another that. But they wero all refused by the old man, who became at last a by-word for his obstinacy among tho young men of tho village and neighborhood. At length, the nineteenth birth-day of An nette, his charming daughter, who was as amiable and modest as sho was beautiful, ar rived. The morning of that day, her father invited all tho youth of tho country to a hay making frolic. Seventeen handsome and industrious young men assembled. They came not only to make hay, but also to make love to tho fair Annette. In three hours thoy had filled the father's barns with the newly dried grass, &, their own hearts with love. Annette, by her father's command, had brought the malt liquor of her own brewing, which she presented to each enamored swain with her own fair hands. "Now my boys," said the old keeper of the jewel they all coveted, as leaning on their pitchforks they assembled round his door in the cool of tho evening. "Now my boys, you have nearly all of you made pro posals for my Annette. Now you sec I do not care any thing about money or talents, book laming nor soldier laming; can do as well by my gal as any man in tho country. But I want her to marry a man of my own grit. Now you know, or ought to know, when I was a youngster, I could beat any thing in all Virginity in tho way o' leaping. I got my old woman by beating the smartest man on tho Eastern Shore; and I havo took the oath, and sworn to it, that no man shall marry my daughter without jumping for it. You understand mo, boys.. There's tho green and here's Annette," ho added, tak ing his daughter, who stood timidly behind him, by tho hand. "Now, tho ono that jumps the furthest on a 'dead level,' shall marry Annetto this very night." This unique address was received by tho young men with applause. And many n BLOOMSBTJRG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA, SATURDAY, MAY 27, 1837. youth, as he bounded gaily forward lo the arena of trial, cast a glance of anticipated victory back upon tho lovely object of vil lage chivalry. The maidens left their looms and quilting frames the children their noi sy sports tho slaves their labors, and the old men their armchairs and long pipes, to witness and triumph in tiic success of the victor. All prophesied and many wished, that it would bd young Carroll He was the handsomest and besthumored youth in the country, and all knew that a strong and mutual attachment existed between him and the fair Annette. Carroll had won the re putation of being the 'best lcaper;' and in a country, where 6iich athletic achievements were the 'sine qua non' of a man's clever ness, this was no ordinary honor. In a con test like the present, he had therefore every advantage over his fellow athlcta?. The area allotted for this hymcnial con test, was a level space in front of the village inn, and near the centre of a grass plat, re served in tho midst of the village, denomin ated the 'green.' The verdure was quite worn off at this place by previous exercises of a similar kind, and a hard surface of sand more befittingly for the purpose to which it was to bo used, supplied its place. The father of tho lovely, blushing, and withal happy prize, (for she well knew who would win) with three other patriarchal vil lagers, were the judges appointed to decide upon the claims of the several competitors. The last time Carroll tried his skill in tins exercise, lie 'cleared' (to use the lcapcr's phraseology) twenty-one fcoland one inch. The signal was given, and by lot the young men stepped into the arena. "Edward Grayson, seventeen feet," cried one of the judges. The youth hud done his utmost. He was a pale, intellec tual student. But what had intellect to do in such an arena? Without a look at the maiden ho left the ground. "Dick Bonlden, nineteen feet." Dick with a laugh, turned away, and replaced his coat. "Harry Preston, nineteen feet and three inches." 'Well done Harry Preston,' shouted the spcctatqrs, 'you have tried hard for tho acres and home-stead.' ilarralso laughed, and swore he only jumped for the 'fun of the thing. Henry was a rattle-brained fellow but never thought of matrimony. He loved to walk and talk, and laugh and romp with Annette, but sober marriage never came into his head. He only jumped for the 'fun of the thing.' II would not have said so if ho was sure of winning. "Charley Simms, fifteen feet and a half. Hurrah for Charley! Charley'll win cried the crowd, good-humoredly. Charley Simms was tho cleverest fellow in the world. His mother had advised him to stay at home, and told him if he ever won wife, sho would fall m love with his good temper, rather than his logs. Charloy nowever matic me trial oi the latter s ca pabilities and lost. Others made tho trial, and only one of tho leapers had yet cleared twenty feet. "Now, ' cried the villagers, 'let's sec Harry Carroll. He ought to beat this;" and every one appeared, as thoy called to mind tho mutual lovo of the last competitor and tho sweet Annette, as if thoy heartily wished his success. Henry stepped to his post witli a firm tread. His eyo glanced with confidence around upon tho villagers, and rested, before ho bounded forward, upon tho face of An nette, as if to catch therefrom that spirit of assurance which tho occasion called for. Roturning the encouraging glance witli which she met his own, with a proud smile upon his lip, ho bounded forward. 'Twcnty-ono feet and a half!' shouted the multitude, repeating tho announcement of ono of tho judges, 'twenty-one feet and a half. Harry Carroll forever. Anncttoand Harry.' Hands, caps, and handkerchiefs waved over tho heads of the spectators, and tho eyes of tho delighted Annette sparkled with joy. When Harry Carroll moved to his sta tion to strive for the priec, a tall, gentle manly young man, in a military undress frock coat, who had rode up to the inn, dismounted, and joined tbcspectators, un pcrccivcd, while tho contest was going on; stepped suddenly forward, and with a know ing eye, measured deliberately the space accomplished by the. last loaper! Ho was a stranger in tho village. His handsome face and easy address, attracted the eyes of the. village maidens, and his manly and sin ewy frame, in which symmetry and strength Were happily united, called forth the admi ration of the young men. 'Mayhap, sir, stranger, you think you can beat that said one of the bystanders, re marking the, manner iu wliich tho eye of the stranger scanned tho arena. 'If you can leap beyond Harry Carroll, you'll beat the best man in the colonics." The trutl of the observation was assejitqd to by a gc neral murmur. , , "Is it for mero amusement you are pursu ing this pass-time," inquired the youthful stranger, "or is there a prize for the win ner?" "Annette, the loveliest and wealthiest of our village maidens, is to be the reward of the victor," cried one of the judges. "Are the lists open to all ?" " "All! young sir," replied the father of Annette, with interest, his youthful ardour rising-, as he surveyed tho proportions of the straight-limbed young stranger. "Sho the bride, of him who out-leaps Harry Car roll. If you will try you are free to do so uui iui mo icu you, iiarry uarrou lias no rival in all Virginia. Hero is my daughter, sir, look at her, and make your trial." The young officer glanced at the tremb ling maiden, about.to be offered an, theultar of her father's unconquerable monomania, with an admiring eye. The poor girl loot cd at Iiarry, who stood near, with a troub led brow and angry eye, and then cast upon tho new competitor an imploring glance. Placing his coat in the hands of one of the judges, he drew a sash he wore bcncatl it tighter around his waist, and taking the appointed stand, made, apparently without effort, the bound that was to decide the hap piness or misery of Henry and Annette. "Twenty-two feet and one inch," shout ed the judge. The announcement was re pealed with surprise by the spectators, who crowded around the victor, filling tho air with congratulations, not unrr.ingled, how- ever, with loud murmurs from those who were more nearly interested in the happi ness of the lovers. The old man approached, and grasping his hand cxultmgly, called him his son, and said he felt prouder of him than if he wero a prince. Physical activity and strength were the old lcapor's true patents of nobil ity. Resuming his coat, tho victor sought with his eye the fair prize he had, altho nameless and unknown, so fairly won. She leaned upon her fathers arm, pale and distressed. Her lover stood aloof, gloomy and mor tified, admiring the superiority of the stran ger in an exercise in which ho prided liinv self as unrivalled, whilo he hated him for his success. Annette, my pretty prize,' said tho vie a . a . I 1 -r ior, tailing ner passive nanu, u nave won you fairly.' Annette's check became paler than marble: she trembled liko an aspen leaf, and clung closer to her father, while tho drooping eye sought the form of her lov er, ilis brow grew dark at tho stranger s language. 'I have won you, my pretty flower, to make you a bride! tremble not so violent ly I mean not myself, however proud I might bo,' lie added with gallantry, 'to wear so fair a gem noxt my heart. Perhaps,' and ho cast his eyes round him enquiringly, while tho current of life leaped joyfully to her brow, and a murmur of surprise ran through tho crowd, 'perhaps there is somo favored youth among theso competitors, who has a higher claim to this jewel. Young Sir,' ho continued, turning to the surprised Henry 'mcthinks you were victor in tho lists before me I strove not for the maiden, though one could not well strive for a fairer but from love for tho manly sport in wliich I saw you engaged. You arc the victor, and as such, with the per mission of this worthy assembly, receive from my hand the prize you have so well and honorably won.' The youth sprung forward and grasped his hand with gratitude; and the next mo ment, Annette was weeping from pure joy upon ins shoulders. The welkin rung with the acclamations of the delighted vil lagers, and amid the temporary excitement produced by the act, tho stranger withdrew from tho crowd, mounted his horse, and spurred at a brisk trot through the village. That night Henry and Annette were married, and the health Of the mysterious and noble hearted stranger, was drunk in overflowing bumpers of rustic beverage, In process of time, there were bom unto the married pair, sons and daughters; and Iiarry Carroll had become Colonel Henry Carroll, of the Revolutionary army. One evening, having just returned home after a hard campaign, he was sitting with his family on the gallery of his handsome country house, when an advance courier rode up and announced the approach of General Washington and suite, informing him he should crave his hospitality for the night. The necessary directions were giv en in reference to the household prepara tions, and Colonel Carroll, ordering his horse, rode forward to meet and escort to his house, the distinguished guest, whom he had never yet seen, although serving ill the same widely extended army. That evening, at the table, Annette (now become the dignified, matronly and still handsome, Mrs. Carroll) could not keep her eyes from the face of her illustrious visitor. Every moment or two she would steal a glance at his commanding features, and a half doubtingly, half assuredly, shake her head and look again, to be still more puzzled. Her absence of mind and em barrassmcnt at Icugth became evident to her husband, who inquired affectionately if she were ill? 'I suspect, Colonel,' said the General, who had some time, with a quiet, meaning smile, been observing the lady's curious and puzzled survey of his features, "that Mrs. Carroll thinks sho recognizes in me an old acquaintance.' And he smiled with a mysterious air, as he gazed upon both al ternately. The Colonel started, and a faint memory of the past seemed to be revived, as he ga zed, while the lady rose impulsively from her chair, and bending eagerly forward over tho tea-urn, with clasped hands, and an eye of intense, eager inquiry fixed full upon him, stood for a moment with her lips parted, as if she would speak. Pardon me, my dear madam pardon me, Uoloncl l must put an cntl to this scene. 1 nave become, by unit of camp- faro and hard usage, too unwieldy to leap again twenty-two feet and one inch, even for so fair a bride as one I wot of.' Tho recognition, with the surprise, de light, and happiness that followed, are left to the imagination of the reader. General Washington was, indeed, tho handsome young 'leaper' whose mysteri ous appearance and disappearance in the native village of the lovers, is still tradition ary; and whoso claim to a substantial body of 'bona fide' flesh and blood: was stout- y contested by tho village story tellers, un til tho happy denouncesient wliich took place at the hospitable mansion of Col. Car roll. TFoman. Huntingdon, preaching on the resurrection, remarked, that "Jesus ap peared to women rather than to men in order that the circumstance might more quickly spread." This reminds us of tho convey ancer, who commencodadeed with, "Know one woman by theso presents." An old woman met a man with a cradle. Ah, Sir," said she, "behold tho fruits of matrimony." "Softly,"was the answer, this is only tho fruit basket,' Number S. A poor man once excused his non-atten dance at church to a rich neighbor by say ing ne tiad no breeches fit for tho occasion winch the latter offered to lend. The man availed himself of the ofier, and when the priest was about to commence prayer, ho cast a glance to his friend when he called out in an under tone, but loud enough to be heard by those around, "Don't kneel down iu my breeches.1 The man carried homo the borrowed garment and was a long time absent Irom church as usual, when arii other neighbour inquired the reason which the poor man gave as before, adding that he had once borrowed a pair, which had given the owner occasion to insult his poverty be fore the whole audience. 'Come With me, said his new friend, 'and I will supply you. Accordingly he essayed once more to visit the church in borrowed breeches, and when notice was given for prayer he directed his attention to his accommodating friend, who no sooner saw him, than he called out loud enough to attract tho observation of all pre sent, 'tKncel down, kneel down any where in my breeches." Jin Irish Temptation to Capitalists. An estate was recently advertised in a Cork paper, with temptations to purchasers of nd ordinary kind. It consists of two villages the future prospects of which are set fortli by stating, that one of them is let for nine hundred years, and the other on a leaseor5 ever; on the expiration of which terms both the said villages will be capable of great improvement. Jl Busy Body. A down cast editor says' "I have to edit my paper, keep my bookd for the paper and other business, do all my out-door business, put up all orders for goods, do all my correspondence, generally direct my papers, wait upon customers; have the care of my printing office, saw and split my wood, make my fires, feed my hens, instruct my children, tend my babies, besides other plans and other busi ness. With all this, and rigid economy, I hope to gain something when J get a good start! At Greenwich fair on Monday, one of tho showmen outside a Caravan called pub lic attention to a most singular exhibition, being nothing less than "a man running about upon five feet." Large crowds en tered the show to see this prodigy, when the showman introduced himself as tho curiosity. Upon his being remonstrated with by his dupes, he replied, "It's no de ception, I said you'd sec a man running about npon five feet, and don't J run about upon five feet and afeio oddinches?" 'My dear brethren, said a pastor lately from his pulpit, 'never put yourselves iii tho liability of loosing your reason. Reasofi is a bridle which has been given to us to di rect our passions.' On the same day tho pastor got drunk. One of his parishioners asked what ho had dono with his bridle? "Good faith," says he, "I have taken it off to drink." We learn from Mr. Lockhart's memoirs of his father-in-law, Sir Walter Scott, that the first fee of any consequence which ho obtained at the bar, ho expended on a silver taper stand for his mother, which the old lady used to point to with great satisfaction as it stood on her chimney-piece twenty-five years afterwards. A case reported to a Temperance Society by a wag, was that of a sailor, wild Was continually loosing his wooden legs by thd "wet rot" so long as ho indulged in spiritu ous liquors; he abandoned the use of tho alcohol, and his timbers lasted three times as long. Jl Damsel of Jlge. In France it is ne cessary to obtain tho consent of both parents, if living, before any marriagdcait be legally contracted. At the civil tribunal of tho Seine, a widow of fifty-two was opposed by her father and mother; the court; however de creed that sho had arrived at years of discretion.