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THE STAR OF THE. NORTH.
By Weaver ft Gilmore.] Trntb and Rigbt—God audour Country. [Two Dollars PER ABD- VOLUME 2. TUB STAR OF THE NORTH Is published every Thursday Morning, by Weaver * Gilmore. OFFICE—Up stairs in the New Brick building on the south side qf Main street, third square below Market. TERMS :—Two Dollars per annum, if paid within six months from the time of subscri bing ; two dollars and fifty cents if not paid within the year. No subscription received for a less period than six months: no discon tinuance permitted until all arrearages are paid, unless at the option of the editors. ADVERTISEMENTS not exceeding one square, will bo inserted three times for one dollar, and twenty-five cents for each additional insertion. A liberal discount will be made to those who ad vertise by the year. Bong of the Tea-Kettle. Wfch a gurgling noise in. iU s, put, And nQk unmusical-sigh, A loa-kettle old, and most worn out, Sat itself down to die; Slowly and sadly it snug, Beyrimmed with soot and smoke; I never heard that a tea-kettle's tongue Could have uttered so sad a croak. '•Sing, sing, sing, . - The long winter evenings through, I've sometimes hoped at t e coming spring, I'd have nothing left to do. O man, that makes the fire, O woman, that drinks the tea, Oft of your labors ye weary and tire, Why don't you have pity on me 1 "Tea, and coffee, and toast, Coffee, and toasl, and tea, Ye eat and drink, while I burn and roast, Why don't you have pity on me I Crack, and snap, and burn, The fire my song derides, Not only wood and coal to bum, Out a poor old tea-kettle's sides. "0 ladies, who drink your souscbong, And pour out your hyson with glee, Remember the boys and frogs in the song, And thai it's no sport for me. * Aunt Parshall's dish-kettle fate Surely was nothing to mine; That had variety still in its state, But I never got out of my line. "Fill, fill, fill, The tea-kettle up to the brim, As fast ashct water for coffee goes out, Cold lAer for dishes comes in. Sing, siriJSßing, For breakfast, dinner and tea; O, there's a rest for every thing, But there's never a rest for me." EATING ICE CREAM RAW. BY JONAS JONES. * On a very warm and sultry evening du ring the summer of '5O, as Dr. B and myself were seated in a fashionable saloon of our town, indulging in the cool luxuries' •which ihe proprietors of the establishment know so well bow to prepare,* and chatting , the white upon such subjects as fancy and caprice suggested—a tall, limber-looking j fellow of about twenty-three, made bis ap- j pearancc, and after looking about hiin lor j sometime in bewilderment and doubt, scat ■ i ed himself at a table close by the one at ; which we were sitting. The young man j was apparently a stranger, and f ro m the I country; and the illuminated 6ign, with "Ice j Cream," "Confectionaries," &c., blazoned , thereon, had evidently taken him in. Know- 1 ing the Doctor to have a great propensity for j practical joking, I turned to seo what effect | this new arrival would have upon him ; and one glance at his restless, twinkling eye < sat isfied me that there would be sport. After sitting some timo, ar i' uncertain how to proceed, the young man plucked up sufficient courage to address us, and inquired whether he could "get 'some ice cream and a couple of confectioneries;" slating, at the same time, that he had "never been at the canawl afore, and didn't know how people acted at sich placos." He was informed by i the Doctor, that if he would ring a small bell which stood upon the table, his wishes would be gratified. The green 'un did as he was directed, and in due time was served with the ice-cream and "confectionaries." After eyeing for a few minutes the articles before him, he look the spoon from the gloss took a small quantity of the cream, and put it to the tip of his tongue; and then looking about the room with an air of great satisfac tion and delight. Soon, however, another idea seemed to strike him; he rammed the epoon deep into the glass, took out heaped full, and in a moment its contents had dis appeared. At this instant I felt a twitch at my side— the rext the Doctor was on his feet—had clutched my arm convulsively, and with one hand pointing towards the victim, almost screamed: "Shocking! that young man is eating hie ice cream raw I" Down went ice-cream, spoon, cbitfection aries and table, upon the floor, out leaped tha victim at least ten feet toward the mid dle of the room, gasping for breath—his iyes protrnding from their sockets—and countenance exhibiting marks of the grea test terror and helplessness. In a moment the Doctor was by his side—Hit his pulse unbuttoned his coat, waistcoat, and sbirt-col lar, as if to admit fresh air—then gently pushing him into a chair, commenced fan ning him wi th the skirt of his coat. It was then that the viofim's tongue first became loose, and with imploring look, he half-whis pered, half sere ached— "Oh, kin I live 1" Upon this the Dootor looked mysterious, felt his pulso egain, examined his tongue, and then, in a solemq tone, replied : "It may &•', young man, that by implioit ly following my directions,' you can yet es ~4|k BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, FX., THURSDAY, JULY 4, 1850. cape the consequences of your rashness and folly. 1 would advise you to—'" "Anything, I'll do anything you "tell me, so I kin get over this spell, and find my way home again." "Well, then,sir. take off your coat." The young man did so. ®Yie a handkerchief a | bout you." He was obeyed. "And now, sir, go to the door, run three times around this square with all the might that is in you; and then come back to me, and I will tell you what further to do." The young man vanished, and we re sumed our seats; in a few minutes, howev er, he returned, puffiingand blowing and ap parently in better spirits "Now," said the Doctor, "do you put on your coat, button it up close to your chin ; go to your lodging-place, and torn into bed im mmediately; and let me advise you, young man, that hereafter, before you undertake to eat ice-cream, see that it is properly pre pared ; end let me particularly charge you (and here he assumed a very t-jrious air,) never again do you attempt to eat ax cream raw." The young stammered forth his thanks, and then left—we followed soon after. Speech of Mr. Frazer of Lancaster In the Williamsport Convention, on the Appoint ment of a State Central Committee. Mr. FRAZER said: The appointment of a Central Committee is of the utmost impor tance to the Democratic party of the Com monwealth. Upon its industry, integrity, discernment, watchfulness, and zeal, mainly depend the triumph of our candidates, our measures, and our principles, at the ballot box. 11, Mr. President, you select a body consisting of one Irom each Congressional district, then you have a scattered, not cen tral committee. They cannot meet often to consult, advise, organize, and prepare for the army of Pennsylvania DeTßSfcrats, to meet and conquer the com mon foe. In my view, sir, and as far as my experience extends, a quorum of the com mittee, at least from six to ten, should reside at Harrisburg, the seat of government, where the means of information from every part of the state, and communication with same, are more easily had, than at any other point. The committee may have a member also from each Congressional district, and such a committee ; thus combining central energy with extended numbers in the different parts of the state, would render most efficient aid to-the "good cause," and to the magnani mous and noble party, whose order anij. or ganization are almost entirely dependent upon its action and labours. He hoped, therefore, that the Convention would thus constitute this most important committee. Let us (said Mr. Fi), take heed from the foe, nnd sutpass them in energy and activity. In 1848 their efforts were untiring—a travelling candidate for governor, no'; so much to in fluence the people by reason ane argument, as to plan and devise an entire and efficient organization of ihe opposition, traversed the entire slale. In addition, paid colporteurs or trowelling agents were set into every nook and corner of the Commonwealth, and mon ey was scattered with prodigality far and wide among the train bands of Federalism. Tne Democracy, confident of -their large and decisive majority, rested o/t their arms; the central committedid little if any labour, and the integrity of our cause, and the love of our principles alone, brought the people to the polls. And yet, strange to say, the Democratic candidate for governor, received 22,000 more votes than Governor Shunk did the year before, (1847) when he bad 18,000 majority, and the Federal candidate received 40,000 more votes than General Irvin, also the candidate of the same party (and a most popular man), received the year before. Yet I have never doubted, that a large amount of thoss Federal votes were illegal, and that tha Democratic candidate was really elected by a veiy decided majority. Certain Fede. ral districts in the county of Schuylkill pol led more votes in 1848, by a large amount than the list of taxables as lately taken; and we all know, that in times even of the greatest excitement, the full tax list cannot be voted within thirty per cent., save jp 18- 38, when the treasonable f-spds of Millers town, &c., nullified the voice of the people and corrupted the honesty and purity of the ballot-boxes. This full and complete organ ization of our party is of vital importance. In Democratic counties the people ate easily moved in full force to the polls. Not so in the Federal; Ihere tha insolence of power crosses the path of Democrats, to crush and sneer tkem out of their political faith. The news from far-famed Berks, (after an I eiec!.' oD > al wa y> warms our hearts. Wo can then oniy feel th* (fieatness of her power, the magnificence of her Swelling mojorities, and the grandeur of her crushing viotories over the many-named foe. Westmoreland, Northampton, Montgomery, Clarion, Greene, Monroe, Luzerne, Columbia, and many oth ers, also swell the noble list of popular tri umphs. Columbia did I say 7 Yes ! victo rious, never conqnered Columbia, (applause) who has never failed to come to the rescue in the day of danger, has now, through the vile treachery of the ingratf Best, in league with the Federal whigs, been shorn of her fair proportions, cut up and dismembered, her voice disregarded, her Democratio yeo men insulted and betrayed, so that the mis erable traitor could get a small pea-patch county taken from her Demociatio area; and thus minister to his own selfish interests, and destro v, ii possible, the very Democracy to whom, under written pledges, prior to bis election, made vountarily and unasked for, he promised, "to stand by and support, in all regular Democratic nominations, county, state, or national, and that "he was opposed to any division or other dismemberment of Col umbia County." And yet, with the ink scarce ly dry in which the pledges were written, did the entire Whjg party, in the Senate of Pennsylvania,[by the aid of the casting vote of " Valentine Best" himself, degradingly elect this same Best Speaker of their body, whilst he in return, them the present infamous and unfair apportionment bill, and they in return gave him Montour, by his misrepre senting the Democracy of Luzerne and Col umbia, with 2500 majority. Degrading spec tacle! worthy only of Arnold Iscnriot, and the i piebald enemy who jointly effected these infamous measures; and yet, I see this | arch-traitor hovering around this Convention like a carrion-crow (great laugh et), seeking for more food to satiate his cormorant appe tite., But I say to the betrayed, yet undis mayed Democrats of noble Columbia, to let "Repeal " be the watchword, never to tire in their efforts, unfit their beautiful hills and dales shall resound its triumph, like "Ex punge" in the Senate of the Union, when the fair fame of Andrew Jackson was res cued trom the foul aspersion then cast upon its mantle. (Cheers.) We have a noble work before us, fellow- Democrats. The state and nation must be brought bank, at the coming gubernatorial and presidential elections, to the Demociatic cause. Her candidates, her measures and principles must then again be in the ascen cendant, and must, as she has during the present century, with but a fsw short inter vals, control and direct this great state and advancing nation. (Applause.) Federalism is not qualified for power, having no princi ples but a lust for privileged power, corpo rate irresponsibility, protected capital, de pressed labour, and distrust of man's capa bility for self-government, and these con cealed under various disguises and pretences. Her administration of the national govern ment exhibits broken pledges, vicillating in decision, Galphin plunders, and heartless in difference to the cause of suffering freedom in the land of the Roman and Hungarian. (Renewed applause.) Then let us rally our ranks again, and ele vate Pennsylvania to her lofty position by the side of chivalrous Virginia (where a Federal vote fom 1799 to the present time has never been cast), and exhibit to the na tion the Keystone commonwealth, founded in "mercy and justice." rendered illustrious by the genius of Franklin, Rittenhouse, and Fulton, by the valour of Wayne and Decatur and the incorrup.tible democracy of Snyder, Wolf, and Shunk, crowned with victor ous laurels that shall be green for ever. (En thusiastic applause.) * Speech of Mr. '.Frazer of Lancaster in the Williamsporl Convention, on the adopt • ions of the Resolutions reaffirming the Balti more platform. • Mr. Frazer followed in support of the re port of the Committee, and in reply to Mr. Magraw. The gentleman (said Mr. F.) has attempted to place us in a position we do not occupy, which 1 will uot permit whilst I can reply. The rights of a state and territo ry are clear and distinct, and the | powers of Congress equally so; and, without the Con stitution confers upon that body the jurisdic tion now claimed, expressly and clearly, the Proviso legislation (unmeaning as it ever has beeit, save for evil) would be, if sue* cesful, a flagrant usurpation of power. I differ directly with Judge Thompson as to the power of Congress to legislate on this subject over the territories. Surely there are no words in the Constitution that confer it. And again, who would contend that Congress now could establish slavery in Minesota or Oregon 1 Who, amoi.g those from the Northern, Western, and Middle States, where this domestic servitude does not exist, but would and do deny any such authority in Congress. The mere statement ot the preposition carries its refutation Then, if Congress cannot establish the in stitution—is devoid of constitutional authori ty—how, I would ask, can she prohibit it 1 The territories are the common property of the nation, —the common treasury, obtain ed, like the Union, "in a common cause," by "joict counsels, joint efforts, by common dangers, sufferings, and successes." Sure ly the citizens of every state have an equal right to participate therein, and settle there with their frmilies, servants, and property. No wonder that the people of the Southern States rise up unanimously against this att empt to deprive them of their constitutional rights. This common soil is open to all; and the people, the Democracy of the terri tory, will soon settle the question themsel ves in the territory, and in the slate, when it is luffied therein. This sovereign power can only be exercised hy the sovereign peo ple ; and, as the majority" ihere decide for or aganist domestic servitude, so it must be. Were I a citizen of the territory or state, I would vote against it, but I could and would not deprive my neighbor of voting for it; and, if in the minority, I must submit or re move away. lam not for its extension ; but I will not take away from any citizen of this Uhion, nor can Congress, his constitu tional rights of emigration, with servants and property, and voting aooording to his own sovereign will and pleasure, in the terrt ritory to which he may go. This is the doctrine of the Democracy—the groat meflt sure of non-intervention-—so n oblj advoca ted and manfully Retained by ths states man and patriot, Cass, in 'lie Senait of the nation, in his great speech of the ? *t and 22d of last January. It wi I triumph, and ho will triumph, and this great coi.'titutional measure, of union and freedom, will save and harmonize this nation and, lik > the bow set in the clouds, will be irophetic of our enduring constitutional ccenant among the' American States, firm as tioir mountains of rock, and lasting as the oceans that wash the shores _of the might, continent over which they expand. (Great applause. This Convention, representing the entire Democracy of Pennsylvania, responding warmly and cheerily to thesf sentiments, causes my heart to thrill ,n:hdelight; and 1 am rcjoioed.tr> ay, wuh hut taw exceptions in ■> ranks, ifci-y are the unani mous voice of the party thro ighouc the Com monwealth. Here let me no justice to the roport on our Federal relations made in our last Legislature by the Hon. Andrew Beau mont, the Representative from Luzerne, in which the same doctrines are ably advoca ted and sustained by this pure-minded Cato and veteran in the Democratic cause. And I cannot pass by the able speech of the Hon. Thomas Ro> s, the Represented to in Con gress from the Bucks and Lehigh district in the House of Representatives at Washing ton, on this same impor ant subject. It is well worth the perusal of every patriotie Pennsylvanian, and is a high honor to its gallant auhor. (A plause.) This Wilmot Proviso has been omnipotent for evil to the Democratic cause; has divided our ranks, wherever it has many advocates; has sacri ficed all uur leading m&vsuies to this one bald idea and been of no service, even to its friends, but of great advantage and useful ness to the common Federal enemy in hel ping them to triumph, and to place in pow er a slaveholding President, and elevate to high places the revilers of Andrew Jackson, the very men who spit upon and traduced Van Buren in the days of his Democracy, and who triumphed over him, with demoni ac glee, in the hard cider campaign of 1840 (Cheers.) It was introduced into Congress in time of war, placed as a Proviso to that with which it has no oonnexion; was attempting to an ticipate the acquisition of new territory; le gislate for Unacquired possessions ; throw a fire brand into Congress ; distract the nation, > and impede the passage of war-measures, and delay the advance of our victorious troops in Mexico ; thus adhering 'moraiy tp the enemies of our country in time of war, aud "giving them aid and comfort?' Its author, by his own true and sincere friends, was implored to desist; to lay aside, and to let it rest. He was young, rising in to eminence, and truly eloquent-had ad vocated alone from Pennsylvania in Con gress, the passage of the tariff of 1846, stood high before the country, with distinction and usefulness awaiting hira in the future ; it was a matter of deep regtet to those who knew and admired him, that he should be led away. All that friends could do was exercised to save him, but nothing could save his mad career. In the Presidential election of 1848, he deserted the Democrat ic cause ; voted for iho candidate of a Con vention, where blacks were suffeied to par ticipate ; divided his own county, and gave Taylor 150Q majority, ju a region where Clay was beat nearly 600 hundred by Polk. (Much applause.) In Congress, last winter, he voted against the Democratic candidate for Speaker, supported Root, Giddinge, and others, the most bitter enemies of the Demo cratic party ever had, and assisted to delay the organization of the house for weeks. But he is gonejoined to his idols; yet I think he will find, when too late, that the Dem ocracy can do much belter without him, than he without the Democracy. (laughter and applause.) I cannot here desist in re ferring to Martin Van Buren. A short time since he was high in our affections; enjoy ing the confidence and respect of the whole American Democracy, and elevated by them to the highest station on earth : and although defeated in 1840, was still a favorite, and looked up to with respect and veneration by all. In an evil hour he turns round, takes a nomination from a convention of abolition ists and their kindred allies' placed on the ticket with the heir of Brsjntree, opposing the very Democracy who h#d made him all he was or ever/sould be, not receiving a single electoral vote, but causing the success of the enemy, and the defeat of his former great party; and like Arnold after hie treas on, at New London, when the "red coat was on his back, fired upon ibe glorious Demo ctacy, who in 1832 and 1838 elevated him to the Vice-Presidency and Presidencjr of the Republic, with the steady vote of chival rous, noble, and SouTiwae VIRGINIA, if you please, always cast for him. Out, out upon such dark ingratitude !!! (Bursts of app lause) We can truly say of him, "Living, shall forfeit fair renown, And doubly dying, shall go down To the vile dust from whence he sprung, Unwept, unhonoresH and uneun^?^ But we have the FUsburg plaiform, offei ed as a substitute for the national platform now before the Convention. Such a PLAT FORM, why, it is to nrrow for even a Free Soiler to stand straight "P Cull length upon. (Laughter.) The Pittsburg Convention ehonld hare discarded v? once. Yet, we are told, we were victorious un illr it last fall; that our victory wee caused Mptfr How ridiculous ! It was the giant- Jttength of an aroused Democracy, deter- mined to succeed and bring Pennsylvania back again to her old position, that caused our triumph, irrespective of the departure of the Pittsburg Convention from the national code. The only true course is to hold a national creed. (A vqice, "It is, it is.") It will con tinue, whilst sectional views or dogmas can never prevail. I recognise no Pennsylvania Democracy; no Northern or Southern Dem ocracy, but American Democracy!! Jef fersonian Democracy!! that noble, inspi ring Democratic faith that is alike acceptable along the granite hills of New Hampshire, the mountains of Pennsylvania, the shores of Virginia, the sands of Carolina, the levees of Louisiana, the banks of the Mississippi, the prairies of Illinois, the shores of Michi gan, the woods of lowa, the gold mines of California, an'd the valley of the Oregon. That inspires us with the nobleness of self respect, breaks the chain of the oppressor, vindicates the right of self government, rai ses MAN from the earth, and teaches him to walk proudly erect with no superior but that all-wise Creator, whose image he bears and whose breath he breathes. (Reiterated ap plause.) Let us hold to this creed ; it ie from our fathers ; under it, our institutions have prospered; new states added to the confederacy, now spreading from ocean to ocean ; and one bright star after another ap pearing in the canopy of freedom; thus for ming A UNION, whose bright example is des tined to overthrow kings and thrones, and free the world from bondage. When Pennsylvania sets up a measure or movement in opposition to the National De mocracy, she is always in the wrong. Wit ness the Bank and Tariff questions, and the state candidate in 1832 for Vice-President. We must stand with our brethren of the U nion apd go with "the Democracy of the U nion for the sake of the Union." Pennsyl vania can have no interests that conflict with the prosperity of the whole nation. We must become prosperous, through the pros perity of the coantry at large. The people found this out, when they strayed off on the Tariff question, and it required the unflin ching firmness of Vice-President Dallas, a national patriot and a national Democrat, to set Pennsylvania right with his fearless, 'and noble, and casting vote. (Immense app lause.) Just so this free soil heresy leads mer. imperceptibly away from patriotism and .Democracy. (A voice, "So it does.") It look the Roman firmness of another great man, to set tha mark of the nation al creed. The country found him in, Lewis Cass, the Democratic candidate in our last campaign. (Cheers.) It is men* such as he— national men and national Democrats— who are our towers of strength in the times of of peril and danger. But lam accused by the gentleman (Mr. Magraw) of loving the South■ Loving the South !! My country—my countrymen ! ! American freedom and freedom's own land! I plead guilty to the accusation, if accusation it be ; and if I did not love the whole South as well os my whole country (applause,) I would be udworthy of the name of American-, unworthy of its glory, and forever unworthy of these great blessings enjoyed by no other people on earth. When 1 forget Jamestown, Braddock's Field, Yorktown, Virginia, the Tenth Legion, Monlicello, Mecklenburg, Eutaw, Charleston, Savannah, Orleans, and San Jacinto, THEN WILL I CEASE TO LOVE THE SOUTH. When I forget WASHINGTON, THE FATHEROF MY COUNTRY; Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence; Madison, the father of the Constitution ; Patrick Henry, the opponent qf the Stamp Act; Giles, Randolph, John Marshall, Macon, Marion, Will, Washington, Moultrie, Laurens, Pinck noy,Jackson, aud his veto of the Monster "Bank, t hen, and not till then, will I, can I for gut my noble countrymen of the msich-abused, mucn-in jured, yet heroic, dauntless, and patriotic Amer ican South. (Enthusiastic and long-continued applause.) EVIDENCES or FOLLT. —Asking the publish er of a new periodical how many copies he sells per week. Making yourself dissagreeab'e, and then wondering that no one will visit you. Getting drunk and complaining next day of the headache. Judging people's piety by tbeir attendance at church. Neglecting to advertise, and wondering that you do not succeed in business. , Refusing to take a newspaper, and being surprised that people laugh at your igno rance. t "So you would not take me to be twenty!" said a young lady to her partner, while dan cing the polka, a few evenings ago. "What would you take me for then 1" "For better or worse," replied he. UNIVERSITY or PENNSYLVANIA —Dr. Joseph Carson has been elected to the chair of Mate ria Medica, vacated by the transfer of Dr. Wood to that of the Prac ice of Medicine. The Juniata Register publishes three deaths by drowning on three successive days, in that county. Their vers all children ..the oldest twelve yean old. OT The president has recognized James F. Meline as Consular Agent of France for Cincinnati, in the State of Ohio. I Tne locusts, after an absence of aeven ■ teen years hav# appeared again in tho neigh ■ borhood of Lewi*town,-V.. LILLY LEE. BY AJJCE CASEY. I did love thee, Lilly Lee, As the petrel loves the sea, As the wild bee loves the thyme As the poet loves his rhyme, As the blossom loves the dew- But the angels loved thee 100. Once, when twilight's dying head " Prest her golden sheeled bed, And the silent stars drew near, White and tremulous with fear, While the night's repelling frown Strangled the young zephyr down, Told I all my love to thee, Hoping, fearing. Lilly Lee. Fluttered then her gentle breast, With a troubled sweet unrest, Like a bird too near Ihe net Which the fowler's hand hath set; But her mournful eyes the while, And her spirit speaking smile, Told me love could not depart Death's pale arrow from the heart. Hushing from that very day Passion pleading to have way, Folding close her little hand, 1 Watched I with her till the sand Crumbling from tread, Lower'd her softly to the dead, .. Where in peace she waits for me, Sweetest, dearest, Lilly Lee. As the chased heart loves the ware, As blind silence loves the grave As the penitent.lover's, prayer, As the pale passion love's despair, Loved 1, and still love I thee, Angel stolen Lilly Lee. YANKEE DOODLE.—A late number of the Knickerbocker contains some amusing ad ventures of Yankee Doodle. The following is a pretty fair illustration of the adventuroua and wandering character of the hardy sons of New England. Speaking of the won derful übiquity of the true Yankees, the writer says— "lt is harder than a Chinese puzzle to put your finger on a territory, disputed or undis puted, where the Yankee Doodle is not. If you go to Land's End, he is there; to Mount Ararat, he is there; Chimborozo, Himlaya, the Mountain of the Moon, or the Pyramid of Cheops, he is there; anywhere, in fine where an ark, a dove, a camel, a snake can arrive by their several faculties; bartering, scratching his name on trees, stones and Af rican slaves. He knows the whole map of the ancient dominions of Prestor John, and he is hand-and-glove with all the savages in the world. He has been to Incbaboe until he has scraped it perfectly clean; and- if your English trader has discovered a new bank of Guano, and is getting ready to fire a gun or two and take possession of it in the name o" her Majesty, imagine his con cernment to disc over a dozen of these fel lows seventy feet deep m a guano cavern, scooping it out with their fingers and a Ban gor schooner bouncing up and down in a fit tie cove like a duck among bulrushes. Now if you walk on the shore at Bildarax, you will find that you.are not the first'here, per haps to your great sorrow, as Captain Jix swore violently, when, in walking through the streets of Rundown, at the very limits of the dominions of Prince Pompadello, in Af rica, he he ard a sharp whistler going through the tune of "Yankee Doodle," with arv easy execution and a devilish unconcern, "which threw him at once into a coast fever. And just so it was with the poor soul who discov ered Bimpaz, and was just uncorking a bot tle of Maderia in comemoration of the event, when he saw a Yankee on a hill-side admin istering the cold water pledge to three na tives." Chips from the Albany Dutchman. This is tho great paper of these time* for humor and we give from it the following samples. THE Tribune goes against ad valorum du ties, because a large number of the impor tations are undervalued. This fact, we think, don't prove that this mode of levying duties is improper, but that we have got a lot of asses connected with the Custom House, who don't know their duty. The appraiser who can't tell a fifty dollar shawl from one valued at two hundred, is not fit to be corporal to a clam wagon. Such a man should be shaved with cold water under any tariff. THE best cure lor love is Mckness. If any of your friends are troubled with this complaint, therefore, don't persuade them to seek consolation in good advice or arse; nic, but induce them to eat green fruit till they get the eholie. Ae Dr. Wing very justly objserves, no man can go crazy about a piece of calico, as long as his bowel* are -deran ged. LOOKING NICE.—A lejm invented to keep boys off the grass and make girls consump tive. In our opinion, dirt is one of tfie very elements of health, and no boy should be denied hislegilimate share thereof. Clean children are always "pale and interesting " WHIN strolling in the country with the girle, always hold a parasol over their heads. It not only keepe the sun from injuring their complexion, but it often affords you an op portunity of exchanging Hps even when the old folks are within listening distance. BSEAXINO IN HEIFERS.—This is what court ing is now termed in [Wisconsin and other Western States. More expressive, we think, thai poetic. The Deipooratio Citizens of Pittsburg have tendered the Hon. Robert J Walker, new in that cily, a public dinner. NUMBER 23; THERE'S ROOM !*OR ALL. The following brief a ail pungent article, from the Public on the of the immigration of Foreigner? to our .land, bjeathes a liberaj and truly American spirit, the sp.rit of our patriotic forefathers, which we are happy to find in that able and influ • entialpaper: v , "ABjORmrK—A Boston journal observes that, we have received as much of the popu lation of Europe as we ca,n absorb; at least this was said some timo ago, since which we have continued to absorb several, thou sands more, and are destined every day to continue the absorption, whether we will op not. TheJloston philosipher is eviden.ly at fault. There is no principle of absorption that \yill regulate Of litpit immigration. The surplus of European population will flow up on us and we most receive it, according to the most powerful principle of nature, which controls all other?, th?.principle of oqualiza-. tion. If God made the earth for man, what branch of the human famiiy shall claim a parent right.tp the exclusiy? possessipn of this vast continent ? , Does it not belong c,j much to the European as to the American, as a dwelling place ! Facts always crush theories, qml the faqt is pll around. and a bout this, that this land of freedom ever has been, and ever will be, the dwelling place, of the foreigner.., ,YVho were our ancestors 1 Foieigners. Who are the Americans ? The children of foreigners. What right had the original settlers, whether of Plymouth. Rook, or Virginia, or Old Rotterdam, or Pennsylva nia, to the land as a dwelling place, not com mon to all who came after them 7 Who dis covered this vhst continent ~ Europeans. Who peopled it t ; Why Europeans I And mast the ports of the new world now be closed agajnst the original owners, oil a fan, ciful principle of absorption ? What would "Americus Vespueius" aay to this Boston Edi }or? What ineffable acorn would ourvri jthe lips of Columbus, were he alive to hear this superlative nonsense? The hand of indus try.is the only patent to lam}, and that i? given by God. Steam has brought us 200Q miles nearer to Europe, at a time when the increased intelligence among the people ,is crumbling into fragments her oppressive sys. tern. Is it marvellous that the shock should send thousands for refuge to the land of Col umbus, who cannot obtain food, or defend their rights in the old world ? Nature will find a remedy for all evils With a wilder ness yet unexplored by the fqot of man, a boundless region extending from the Atlantiq to the Pacific Ocean, what sane ipind can deliberately announce the preposterous idea, that the United States can 'absorb no mora European population'? We can yet,' and will soon, absorb millions apon .millions, God has written it as an unalterable decree on the fece of human events. Wi(h onei. " half of the human race wanting bread, our fertile tracts cannot regain barren. Hu manity shudders at the thought. Benevo; lence scouts at the narrow suggestions of a cruel bigotry. . Trade welcomes the access ion of laborers. Commerce prospers in transportation, and agriculture flouishes from their enterprise. But we have "absorbed,'? as much of this "Boston notion" as seems meet, and consign the rest to the general reservoir of "wooden nutmegs" and "tin pans," to which it is, at least, cousin gor man. A Newly Married Editor's Rhapsody. Some newly Caught Editor, who has nev." er been kept awake o' nights by the squall ing of tho "nice, wice, bossed little baby," or bis inkstand tipod over among his ox changes, or upon his newly writ editorial by his eldest hopeful, thus rhapsodizes the. pleasure acd the necessity of matrimony • "If you are for pleasure—Marry? If you prize rosy health—Marry! And even if Money be your object— Marry! A good wife is "Heaven's last gift to roan"—his an gel and ministers of grade innumerable—his Sal Polychrostura or gem of many virtues— his Pandora, or casket of celestial jewels her presence forma his best company—her voice, his sweetest music—-her smiles, his brighest day—hei?kiss, innocenoe—her arma, the pale of his safety, the balm of his health, thk balsam of his life—her for est wealth—her lips, his fa'ithfullest counsel lors—-her bosom, thj) .softest pillow -of his carep—and her prayers the ablest, advocates of Heaven's blessings on his bea& If you lovjftlM Creator you" ought to marry, to raise him up worsptppers-if you love the ladies, you ought to marry to make them happy—if you love mankind you ought to marry to perpetuate the glorious race—if you loe the country, you ought'to marry to' raise up soldiers to defend it—in fine, if you wish well to earth or heaven, you to marry/ to give good citizens to (he one, and glori-'' ous saints to the othei!" MRS. PARTIKQTOU'S LAST—" An apt to take the senses of the People; well I vow," said Mrs. Partington, "if thing* mint coming to a pretty pass; these Legislatures want to take everything away from a body—l think they might have left the sense* alone, there's pre cious little of 'em to spare any howso say ing the old lady dropped her specs aid re lapsed into a profound melancholy. The difficulty which has to long existed between the Freemasons of the State of New York has been, amicably settled. All the Lodges under the jurisdiction of St John's Grand lodge are acknowledged as being le gally constituted, and the members thereof' as regularly made Masons.