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THE STAR OF THE NORTE
fet Wt Mir Proprietor.] VOLUME 3. THV STAR OF TOE NORTH Is published every Thursday Morning, by U> W. WEAVER. OFFICE—Up stairs in the New Brick building on the south side of Main street, third . souar beluw Market. Tsuti I Two Dollars per annum, if paid Within six months from the time of subscri bing; two dollars and fifty cents if not paid within the year. No subscription received (or a lea* period than six months : no discon tinuance permitted until all arrearages are paid, unless at the option of the editors. ADVERTISEMENTS not exceeding one square will be inserted three times forone dollar,and twenty-five cents for each additionl inser tion. A liberal discount will be made to those who advertise by the year. [ORIGINAL.] TO THE MEMORY OF LUCY. And has she gone ? My eyes Behold the record of the tomb And yet, I cannot think it so. E'en now, methinka I see her face, As it appeared in days gone by, Badiant with smiles. And hark ! that voice; 'tis hers; — I bear it now as I have heard It oft before; —So sweet and fettle That it seems more like the Whispering of Angels, than of Human tongues. But 'tis all delusion : She has gono ; Too pure to sojourn here, Bhe has been taken to the hone Of her Father, whore now she dwells, In joys unspeakable. We mourn but 'tis not right, For what is loss to us, is gain to her. LUAP. SCHOOLCRAFT, Michigan, Sept., 24, 'sl.* The Choreh and the Tavern. I TOOK passage for America in the good ahip Providence, and 1 \nded at New York in June 1794. I was then in my twenty second year. When the ship cast off from the wharf, in "Scotland, and swung around with the breeze, my father stood upon the •hore. He waved a last adieu, and exclaim ed, "Remember the Sabbath day !" I ar- ! rived atNew York on a Saturday, and, the ! next day being tha Sabbath, at nine o'clock, : A. M., three young men of our company called at my lodgings. "Where are you going to-day ?" they in quired. "To the church," I replied. "We have been ten weeks at sea ; our health requires exercise. Let us walk out to-day, andge to church next Sabbath," they replied.' Said I, "Yon can go where you please, but I'll go to church; lite last words I heard from my father'were, "Remember the Sab- batb dayand, had I no respect for the Fourth Commandment, I have not yet for gotten his last advice." They went to the fields ;4 went to the church; *lhey spent forty or fifty cents in the tavern; I put a penny in the plate, in the morning, afternoon, and night service ; total three pence. They continued going into tho country, and in process of time the landla dy's daughter, and the landlady's niece would join their company. Then each coupte hired a gig at two dollars a day ; wine, cake, and ice cream on the road, fifty cents each lime ; dine at Jamaica, one dol lar each. They got home at eight o'clock, P. M., half drunk, arid, having heen caught in a thunder shower, their coats, hats, and mantles were damaged fifiy per cent. They arose the next morning at nine o'clock, with eora heads, sore hearts, muddy boots, and angry consciences, besides twelve dollars lighter than when they started. I went to church, rose at five o'clock in the morning ; head sound, heart light, bones refreshed, conscience quiet, and commence the labors of the week in peace and plenty. Thfiy were all mechanics—some of them could earn twelve dollars a week. My business, that of wrought nail maker, was poor; the cut nail machines had just gone into opera tion which cnt down my wages to a sha ving. With close application, I could only earn five dollars and fifty cents per week Never mind, at'the end of the year, my Sabbath-riding-ship-mates had fine coats, fine hats, powdered heads, and ruflled shirts; but I had one hundred hard dollars piled in the corner of my chest. Having lived fast, they died early. Nearly forty winters are past, and forty summers ended, since the last was laid in the Polte's, or some other field ; while I, having received from my Maker a good constitution, (and com mon sense to take care ot it,) I am as sound in mind, body, and spirit, as I was on this day 66 years ago, when first I set my foot on shore at Governor's wharf, New York. Be sides, it is a fact, (tor which my family can roach,) I have been only ono day confined <o the house by sickness, during all '.hat pe riod. Now, Mr. Printer, I dare say you think, with me, that the church on the Sabbath is better than the tavern and the fields for the laboring man. A New Way to Pop the Question. "Sally," said a greeu youth, in a venera ble white hat and grey pants, through which his legs projected half a foot, perhaps more TO-"Sally, before we go into this 'ere Muse up) [fk spa the Enchanted Horse, I want to as you soiqstbin." "Well, lchabod, wfist is 111'' "Why, you see this 'are business is gwina to eost a hull quarter a piece, and I can't af ford tq spend sp much for nuthin. Now, ef yoa'llfay you'll have ma, dern'd ef I don't pay the hull on't myself. 1 will!" Sally made a non committal reply, which fohabod interpreted to suit himself, and he strode up two steps at a time, and paid tbs whoWWl, | BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY. OCTOBER 9, 1851. WOMAN'S SPHERE. The following, from a recent number of the Ohio Cultivator, by Mrs. FRANCIS D. GAGE, will interest and encourage our rted ers. She says :—"I am now at the house of a friend, eight miles from Cleveland, on a visit. I wish you could, all of yon, see this beautiful garden. The nicely graveled walks—the neat plots of grass, without a weed—the beautiful.varied evergreens, the fresh blooming roses and flowers—ah 1 you would, some of you, I am thinking, be hoeing up those big docks and Jamestown weeds, that are spoiling ' your door-yard. Bnt that was Pot what I was going to talk about : but thoso cherry-trees, loaded till their boughs bend with fruit, then lheae rasp berries, white, yellow, and red, that give fair promise of luxuriant living by and by; peach-trees that [the frost of May slipped over ; and strawberries—such strawberries'! it would do your eyes good to see thera> and give your nostrils a wider expansion to 1 smell them, and your mind an enlarged i view of the comfort you might take, if you would only set yourselves about it. and have these delicious berries fresh for your own table in the early spring-time. It is no ex aggeration to say that many of them are too big for a bite, and one that was laid upon my dish yesterday, made four good mouth-1 fuls, and would have made twenty for those ladies who eat peas with a fork. It meas ured five inches in circumference, and was really the berry that ever blessed my eyes or ray plate—for I ate it all at one meal. They say that strawberries Jean be easily raised, ar.d that any ground that will grow good beets and lettuce will grow good straw berries. Leached ashes and rotten wood make the best ma tures, so I am told here ; and surely I should believe, for the like of those berries is not found every day; and, girls, you can plant them, raise them and pick them yourselves ; aye, and eat them, too, if yon will, without stepping out of your line of business, or compromising your dignity either. Shall 1 tell you who,* yes I will , for who should sot your fashions but the Governor's wife and daughters I Yes. girls, the Governor's wife and daughters ! Now I'll bet a big strawberry that you are, some of you, fancying three stately ladies, dressed in rich silks, with gloved hands and haughty air. Fie ! no such thing ! Mrs. WOOD (I know them only as farmer folk) has her checked apron on, now getting breakfast, and her daughters, I'll warrant you, are busy the oldest one, Mrs. GEORGE Men WIN, it was that raised and presented me with the big strawberry. , These ladies work in the garden, train up the vines, weed the beds, tend the boarders, and around them a fairy land of beauty and luxury. Why may not you do the same ? Now, dear girls, you whose homes are situated away from the bustle and confusion of the city—by the bubbling brooks, or upon the borders of the forest, or even you who live in more favored places, amid the comforts of wealth and ease, let me ask you to think sometimes about the wife of your Governor—think of her as one like unto yourself—performing all life's holiest duties, cheerfully. I have heard some of you some times say that such an one was as 'proud and stuck up as if she were the Governor's wife.' Now don't slander tho Governor's wife any more : go imitate her quiet domes tic virtues—be faithful to your duties, ere ate around you an atmosphere of beauty and usefulness, live plain, simple, truthful earnest lives. Think less of the trimming of your dress, more of garniture, of your heads and hearts, and more of your yards and gardens. For the sako of those you love, do this. How can your sous or your brothers grow up coarse aud unrefined, if you throw around them a panorama of beau ty and harmony ? Fill jour gardens and yards with fruits and shrubbery ; toll the birds to your bowers, and let them sing their merry harmonies at the threshhold, and by and by you may have a home of your own, each one of you, that will fill the heart of the sojourner within thy gates with hopeful hap piness." MUSICAL CATECHISM-— We find the follow ing afloat in the papers ; "What is a slur V "Almost any remark one singer makes a bout another." "What is a rest f" "Going out of the choir to eat soma re freshments during sermon time." "Wh at is called singing 'with an under standing ?' " "Marking time on the floor with your fool." "What is a staccato movement t" "Leaving the choir in a huff, because one is dissatisfied with the lekdei." "What is a swell!" "A professor of music who pretends to know everything about the science, while he cannot conceal his ignorance." A COLD FIBS. —One cold night a jolly old fellow who bad partaken rather freely of flip at the tavern, started for home in a sleigh, and on the way was upset aud left by the side of the road. Some persons passing the same way a short time-after, discovered the old fallow to a sitting posture, holding his feet up to the moou, ejaculating to some in. visible person "John, pile on the wood, its a thundering cold night I" RICH AND POOR. —Every man is rich or poor, according to the proportion between bis dpsjres and enjoyments. From the Albany Dutchman. Crumbs lor all Kindt oi Chickens. Philadelphia possesses an atmosphere most beneficial to quacks; all a gallipot humbug wants to rear him a palace and mako a fortune, is to have a large funda mental principle of brass, and weairh comes to him there, with the same facility that a negro gets into a new hoe down, or an Irish man into the grocery business. Always observe "the unities," and lime your conversation by the chrcamstances which surround you. At the conclusion of a tragedy, tho curtain always falls to slow UDU mournful music. Imagine the efleut that would bo produced should its descent be ucoompanied with "Old Dan Tucker," or an iuvilation to certain, "yaller gals" to come out to-night and go through a series of certain lepschoriau movements "by the light of the moon." We say, imagine this and act accordingly. "Mrs. Sroithers, where's (hio cup) my shavel 'tensile ?" "Your shaving utensils * What do you want of your shaving utensils at this hour of the night? Come to bed, you brute, you're drunk." "You lie, my love, I'm not (hic-cup) drunk, but I want to know what come (hic cup) oT them saven 'tensils what I bought yesterday morning;(hic-cup ; of that blue eyed bonnet what wore the white silk young 'onian. Say, where's them shaven 'tensils? if you don't speak, (hic-cup) I'll take a door, my love, and burst the club in/" When we left, Smithers was talking about the Constitution to the key hole of a bed room door. "I say, Bob, what yer doing for a living now ?" I "Ira in the scorbutic line—-supporting my self with a broken leg and a pair of biles." "Well, how d'ye make em go ?" "Only tolerable. My friends think I'd do better with a wooden arm, and I'm most tempted to try it—biles, you see. don't draw as they used to do, while the war with Mev ico has given sore legs such a run, that I'm be blowed if a man can pick up oue meal a day with the best one in town. "Please, sir, give us a cent; I'm deaf, dumb aud blind." A late traveller, ix speeking of Egypt, says ber products consist of wheat, flies, and sorc ayed children. So much for her crops. In remarking on her commerce, he observes that her imports are made up of underdena Englishmen In pursuit of the pyramids— while her exports consist of the at me Eng lishmen "done brown," and floeing from boggurs ane bed-bubs. Nice country that. A young gentleman who has just married a little undersized beauty, says she would have been taller, but she is made of such precious materials, that Nature could not af ford it. How full of sugar the honey-moon makes one, don't it? A year from now he'll be swearing about the house, because his ,! d— fool of a wife has been cleaniug the cook-stove with bis best shoe-brush. The more we like people, the less we see of them. The man who once saved us from drowning, wc have not seen in a doz en years or more—while the wretch tha t pushed us overboard, passes by the house with as much setni-daily regularity as the milkman. From some inexplicable reason or other, the man who injures you never leaves town—while the good-natured fellow who goes your bail, is always "in the coun try" Rum's a great elevator. Old Hicks says, night afore last he conldn't pay his board— the thought made him desparate he drank half a pint of I!. G. (rot gut,) and in fifteen minutes he felt as though be owned all the real estate in town! In Mississippi, a man always makes his will before accepting a nomination to run for Congress, and trusts to a pair ot revolv ers, bowie knife and leather lungs to whip his opponent in the race. The following question i now being de bated before the Sand Lake Lyceum : "Which is the meanest man, the wretch that Meals a blind man's dog, or the fellow that goes about collecting militia flues ?' We shall announce the decision in an extra. The last advice from Tirabucloo, was that the I'ickaninnies were studying the bowie knife practice, while the full grown Cougos were revelling upou roasted missionaries and elephant oil. Brother Peccavi writes, that owing to the re-action, and his feeble health, guesses he'll come home 1 A lato writer says, nobody bears adversity like a woman. Remove her from the parlor to a garret, and instead of taking arsenic, as a man would, she actually becomes more cheerful. Like a lark, the nearer she ap proaches Heaven, the more the seems to sing. For some complaints, a little good luck is the best medicine in the world. Low spir its take their rise not so often from a burst ing heart as from a .collapsed pocket-book. We once knew a man to be saved from sui cide by just raising his wages a shilling a day. If "running alter the women" be injuri ous to health, bow comes it that phyvioians last so? Please answer by return of mail. Or WiuTta is fast approaching. Tnilfc Aid Right—God Aid oir Country. From the Philadelphia Ledger. Fontaine BuQrage nut Dram-shops. At the "Woman's Rights Convention': lately held at Akron, in Ohio, Mrs. Swiss helm, editress of the "Pittsburg Saturday i Visiter," while objecting to several proposi tions before the Convention, said that wo men oueht to have the right of voting upon the question whether dram-shops should be prohibited or not. Whatever we may think aboyt the right or expediency of feminine suffrage in gen eral, we cannot object to dpi proposition here presented by Mrs. Swissbfelm. If wo men be excluded from the polls in all other cases, we think that they onght to be admit ted in this. Most objectors to feminine suf frage seem to regard elections merely with, reference to ofheere and their salaries; and with this view of the subject, they gravely ask why women should be interested in the choice of a President, a Governor, a Senator or Representativo in Congress, or a member of a State Legislature, or the amount of their pay ? Were these the only points involved, their objeotion might be well founded. But Legislatures are elected to make laws, judi ciaries and executives to interpret, apply and enforce them, and these laws govern women, as well ss men. The essence of freedom is that human beings, of age ren dering them capable of self-government, have the right of making the laws by which they ore to be governed, and of exercising this right personally or by deputy, at their discretion. Old-fashioned lawyers, who have been educated in the doctrine or the English common law, that, married women were civilly dead, that is, had no rights, were political and social nonenties might admit single women to the elective right, but would lake for granted that tho earth would be "swallowed up alive" by the extension of such privileges to femmes coverles. But these same objectors must admit that even' married women have some interest in the ' laws that govern the community, at least so ' far as such laws are designed to keep married I men in order. [ Hare married men an interest in the pun ishment of rape, adultery, alanJer, of as sault and battery, of burglary ? Women are the exclusive victims of the first, most frequently the victim* of tho three next, and always, either aloue or in common with men, the victims of the last of these crimes. Why then should they not have a voice in legislation for the punishment of the criminals ana the redrew of the suffer ers * Have married women- n<W ifitereef in the Vight of dower* In the distribution of a deceased husband's property 1 In the cus tody of children upon divorce ? We think that they have, and therefore think that they should have some voice in making the laws to govern these things. But we shall be told that they would vole under the control of thoir husbands, and therefore that the right in their hands would lead to no other practical result than giving to each mairied man the right to vote twice. Even if this were true, as men, according to Dr. Frank lin, in marrying, give bond to society for their good behavior, they can be better trusted with two votes thin single men. But as husbands and wires do not always agree in every thing , we should doubtless have quite as many independent and intelligent votes from the latter, as from the former. And it would confine conventions and nomi nating committees to the selection of candi dates of good moral character, as the only one who could obtain feminina votes; and this would certainly bo an improvement in the politics of Pennsylvania, if not of States farther South. But the objectors, alarmed by independent voting among married women, Will raise old objections about the disturbance of domestic tranqnUiiy, We believe that the right would promote domestic tranquility; for as it is much more frequently disturbed by men than by women, if the latter were, armed with legislative power, they would in con junction with all good husbands, and alt well disposed single young men, have a ma jorrty, and make stringent laws against the disturbers. But however sound be the objection a gainst the right of suffrage in married wo men, even the objectors-must admit that single womon have some interest in the laws by which they areto be governed, and there fore should haVe a voice in making them. And if single women voted, we doubt not that the majority of the singly men would be of their party. The objection about dis order at the polls, to the terror of women, is idle ; for their presence would shame or sof ten the worst into comparative good beha vior, and improve the behavior of all the rest. But if women be excluded from :he polls in all other cases, we agree with Mrs. Swiss helm in proposing their admission to vote upon license laws. Women are the princi pal sufferers from intemperance. The pov erty, the misery, the disgrace, the cold, the hunger, the rags, the desolation, the unkind neas, the insults, the blows, the murders, whioh flow in such awful profusion from the intemperance of husbands, fathers, sons, brothers, fall with heaviest, most orusbing force, upou women, mothers, sisters. Who among are cursed with an intemperate husband, father, son, or brother, would vote against a law to restrict or suppress rum selling ? Not one ! No 1 Not one 1 And bow much crime and mis ery might hate been prevented, how many wives would have been saved from prema ture graves, (6 which they were harried bj misery or murder, how many children would have been saved from the alms-houses, or from growing np to infamy, bow many wives and children would have been saved from the anguish of brutal blows, had wo men been endowed with the right of stiff rage upon this question m alonc, only twenty years age ? Widow's Tactics in Astoria. In Astoria we saw one day, when there was quite a crowd at the encampment, sev eral squaws, all dressed in their best attire. These were all mora than usually attentive to their personal appearance. The princi pal among them was a widow, whose time of mourning for the death of her husband had just expired.—Her object was to notify her friends that she Was ready to receive the addresses of any one who was in want of a wife. To give such notification was, I found on enquiry, a common custom among the I Chinooks. The widow was of a masculine make, and what we would call n buxom dame. She was attended by seven others, of small stature in comparison, who were her Maids, and all evidently accompanied her to do honor the on occasion. Every half hour they would arrange themselves in a row, and the widow at their head, affecting a modest downcast look, would commence a cbaunt, informing the bystanders that her period of mourning was out, that she had forgotten her deceased husband, given her griel to the winds, and was now ready to espouso another. This chaent was accom panied by a small movement ol the feet and body, which, with the gutteral song and con sequent excitement of such an exhibition, caused the fair ones to wax so warm that tho perspiration rolled down their painted cheeks; this, with the crimson flush, all tended to add brilliancy to their dark oyes, as they wore now and then cast around upon the multitude of Indians, who seemed all admiration.—l did not ascertain whether tho fair one succeeded in winning a second hus band, but lam satisfied that Irer exertions were such as ouglit to have obtained her one.— U. S. Exploring Expedition. Fashions of the Day. Our scissors have provided us with two notes upon the fashiMls of the day; one on church going, the other on party-making. The church of course must take the prece dence : "Weil, I-aura, give me a short sketch of the sermon. Where was the text V' ■'Olfy 1 don't know. I-jhavo forgotten— but wtikld you believe it, Mrs. V. wore that bonnet of hers. I couldn't keep <ity eyes off it all the meeting time; and Mies T: wore a new shawl that must have cost fifty dollars. I wonder her folks do not see the folly of such extravagance, and there was Miss S. with her astonishing what want of taste some folks exhibit." "Well, if you've forgotten the sermon, you have not the audience; but which preacher did you prefer—this one, or Mr. A)" "Oh, Mr. A.; he is so handsome and so graceful; what an eye l and what a fine set of teeth he has." And for a fashionable party, we believe the following recipe will be found all-suffi cient:— "Take all the ladies and gentlemen you can get, place tbem in a room with a slow fire, stir them well, have really a piano forte, a harp, a hmdfill of books,or prints, put tbem in from tiice to time, when the mixture begins to Beltle, sweeten it with po liteness or wit, if you have it—if not, flat tery will do as well, and is very cheap. When all have stowed together for two or three hours, put in one or two turkeys, some tongues, beef or ham, tails, ; cakes, and sweetmeats, and some bottles of wino—the more you put in the better, and the more substantial your rtfnt will be. "N. B. Fill your room quite full, and let the scum run off itself. (•raves in the Sea. The sea is the largest of cemetries, and its Blumberers sleep without a monument. All other graveyards, in other lands, show some symbol of distinction between the great and the small, the rich and the poor; but in that ocean cemetry the king and the clown, the princo and the peasant, are alike undistinguished, The same waves roll over all—the requiem by the minstrelsy of tha ocean is sung to their honor. Over their re mains the same storm beats, and the same sun shines j and there unmarked, the weak ( and the powerful, the plumed and the un , honored, will sleep, until awakened by the trump, when the sea will give up its dead, t thought of sailing over the slumbering, but devoted Cookraan, who, after his brief but brilliant career, perished in the President —•over the laughter-loving Power, who went down in the same ill-fated vessel, we may have passed. Iu that cemetry sleeps the accomplished and pious Fisher; but where be and thousands of others of the noble spirits of the earth lie, no one but God knowest. No marble rises to point out where there ashes are gathered, or where the lover of the good and wise can go and shed the tears of sympathy.—Who can tell where lie the tens of thousands of Africa's sons who perished in the 'middle passage!' Yet the cemetry hath ornaments of Jeho vah. Never can I forget the days and nights as I passed over the roblest of the cemetry without a single human monument. —Giles. iy imaoitia est sempiterna. The Last Appendix to 'Yankee Doodle " YANKEE DOODLE sent to Town His goods for exhibition; Everybody ran him down. And laughed at his position : They thought him all the world behind; A goney, muff, or noodle ; . Laugh on, good people—never mind- Says quiet YANKEE DOODLE. Chorus. —YANKEE DOODLB, &O. YANKEE DOODLE had a crali A rather tidy clipper, And he challenged, while they laughed, The Britishers to whip her. Their whole yacht-squadron she oulsped, And that on their own water; 01 all the lot she weuta-head, And they carno nowhere arler. Chorus —YANKEE DOODLE, Sto. O'er Panama there was a scheme Long lalk'd of, to pursue a Short inany thought a dream- By Lake Nicaragtt. JOHN BULL discussed the plan on foot, With slow irresolution, While YANKEE DOODLE went and put It into execution Chorus —YANKEE DOODLE, &C. A steamer of the COLLINS line, A YANKEE DOODLE'S nution, Has also quickest cm the brine Across the Atlantic Ocean. And British agents, noways slow Her merits to discover, Have been and bought her—jusi to tow The OUNARD packets over. Chorus. —YANKEE DOODLE, &C. Your gunsmiths of llieir skill may crack, But that again don't mention ; I guess that COAT'S revolvers whack Their very first invention. By YANKEE DOODLE, too, you're beat Downright in Agriculture, With his machine tor reaping wheat, Chaw'il up as by a vuliure. Chorus —YANKEE DOODLE, See. You also fancied, in your pride, Which truly is tarnation, Them British locks of your'n defied The rogues of all creation ; But CIIUDB'S A BHUMAII'S HOBBS has picked And you must now be viewed all As having been completely licked By glorious YANKEE DOODLE. Chorus. —YANKEE DOODLE, &C. J A Hypothetical Case, Some years ago, an awkward chap in western New-York who obtaided his liveli hood by forgery, in a blacksraith's shop, hir cd a horse one day, te carry a load ol wrought nails to the next a few miles distant. Through his own awkwardness, and that of tjie horse, and by erlions of the4Wo, a very pretjr was brought about. While 'descending: a steep hill, the smith gave his animal a few ektra cuts, thinking to accelerate his speed in a placo where gravitation seconded the motion of the whip, but the steed stumbled, flouudering into the ditch, and kicked—the bucket. The blacksmith, upon turning ihe body over, discovered that the anatomical harmony Of the beast's neck was destroyed, that the bone was dislocated beyond the bone-setter's arr, and that in tact, the "hoss" was dead. With a rueful countenanoe, he repaired to the owner of the nag, aud asked what must be done ? The reply wns "you must pay for the horso.'' The blacksmith demurred, wont to consult a lawyer. The lawyer happened to he away from home, but his wife, prone to mischievons fun, thought she saw in the client, food (or a little sport, and inviting him to enter the house, remarked that she sometimes gave legal advice in her husband's _ absence, and requested him to state his ca9e. "Very well," said the blacksmith, sealing himself, leisurely, "I'll 'spose a case." "If you please—that will do es well as to state your own," said the handsome attor ney. "Well! yer see it's jest like this. S'posin you war an old hoss—an' I should drive yer —drive yer to mill. And s'posin 1 should cut yer up the leastest mile on the Hank, and you should rare up and kick up, arid break the breechiu', and finally, yer should foil in to the ditch, and break yer cussed neck— who'd pay for ye ? would I?'' asked tho ex cited Vulcan, in a voice of thunder. "No ! I'd be hammered into horse shoe nails, and drove into the devil's cloven foot I'd pay the fust red cent!" By this lime the Volunteer counsellor had retreated to the door of the apartment, and after informing her client with a oourtesy that his was a plain case, and he need not fear an action lor damages, she disappeared, resolving never again to give legal advice to her husband's customers. vr Alexander Gunn was discharged from the Custom Court at Edinburg, for a mal practice. The entry in the bcoks stands thus: — A Gunn was discharged for making a fasse report.'' >• ■ . BT "Hiratp, did you ever take an eme tic V "Yes, once, and blow me if it didn't make me sick." iy There is a modest young lady in N. York, who views objects with glasses, so that she may not see them with the naked eye. . .. _. tar A gentleman, looking at his watch after midnight, cried—"lt's to morrow mor ning I must bid you good-night." ET Slanderers are like flies that leap over all raan'a good parts, to light upon his sores. [Two Dollars per Annaa* NUMBER 37. The Science of Dunning, ft l ss.y, Jacques, this dunning is easily re duced 10 a science and art. A boot maker desired mo to collect a bill of twenty dollars against a clergyman, the Rev. Mr. Truesdell; you know him Jacques f A man of talent —great talent, virtue—particular frirnd of mine. Went to see him—couldn't pay. Called the next day 0:1 his pretty wile—fr nest eye in New York—got on the tender | side of her; she promised to make her hus band pay—called the next day ; would not see me. \\ out to church eutly—like going to church. Truesdell was to preach ; got a seal in the first |>ew, right straight in front of the pulpit. Sal quiet through prayers, till Truesdell got up in the pulpit to preach, then didn't 1 lean forward and rest iny elbows 011 lire front of the pew, and hold my chih with . both hands, and didn't I fix my eyea upoH him—never stirred them once—looked right straight into the very middle of hie forehead, like tne Maguelizere do. No preaching that day. No preaching a' all; tried to do it, but I kept my eye on him, and he did not knew what he was driving at. Everybody said H was the shortest se-raun they ever heard. People went away—l went anil thanked him for sOch a good ser mon. he tutn red anil pale f he an swered as quiet as a lamb; then I asked in a whisper, what time he wouhl see me to morrow 9 o'clock,' says ho, and away I went. Called this morning, just as the clock j was striking nine; came to ihe door him -1 self, looked doleful, as though ho was going to the buriul service. I put the bill into his hand, he put the money into mine, put the I other ou my shoulder, 'God bless you, my j son,' said be.—'Amen!' cried I. Grent county, this, fine pretichers—fine preachers." The Flight ot Time. In reference tb the flight of time, Dr Spring once closed a discourse in the follow ng graphic Language : "I shall never address this audience a ! g ain - I "ha" "over again meet them *but at | the bar of God. That interview seems in deed lar distant. But it will be soon as time with his eagle wings, shall have finished the litile remnant of his 6hort career. "After death, the judgment.' We die; but inter, wiring ages pass rapidly ovor those who sleep in the dust. There is no dial plate there on which to count the hours of time. No longer is it told days, months, or ) ears; for the planets which mark these periods are hidden from tmir sight. Itflight Is no'lon ger noted by events perceived by the senses; for the car is deaf and the eye is closed'. 1 The business of life, wliieh wakes at each morning and Ceases every night goes on a i bove them, but to them all is silent and un | seen. The greetings of joy, and the voice ! oi grief, the revolution of empires and tha j lapse of ages, send no sound within that nar \ row cell. Generation alter generation are j brought and laid by their side ; the inscrip j tion upon their monumental marble tells lira ! centuries that have passed away; but to the ; sleeping dead Ihe long intervals is unobser ! ved.—Like a dream of the night, with the i quickness of thought, the mind ranges time and space almost without a limit; there is but a moment between the hour when the eye is closed in the grave, when it wakes in judgment. tiov. Johnston's Sinking Fundi It has been ascertained that Gov; John-. 1 ston's sinking fund is situated in his right breeches pocket, (the left one Contains tha unsigned bill of last session,) and that in M. addition to the thirty dollars he received j travelling fees, and 8131 50 for sixteen ; survives before be was Governor, it has re i cently been considerah'e increased by ! draughts from the State treasury for salary in j advance. ~ Steulli.fs. 1 When Whigs talk about Locofoco plun ! ders, they should try not to think of the thir ty dollars travelling fees, and the 8131 50 ! for sixteen days' services, filched from the ; Treasury by Gov. Johnston, without the shadow of law or equity in bis favor. W 1 A country clergyman, being opposed to the Use Of the bass-viol in church service, was overruled by tbe congregation. Thu first Sunday it was brought iuto use, he an nounced the psalm as follows :—"To praise God, wo will now fiddle the 46th psalm, second part, short metie I" B* A lady upon taking up Shelly's nov el, "The Last Man," threw it down very suddenly, exclaiming, "The last man! Bless me! if such a thing ever was to happen, what would become of the women 1" t7 He that thinks he sees another'* estate in a pack of cards, or a box and dice, and ventures his own in pursuit of it, should not repine if he finds himself a beggar in tbe end. TROUBLE or HATINQ Hannah More said 10 Horace Walpoie "If I wanted to pun ish an enemy; it should bo by fastening on him the trouble of constantly hating some body." NATURE AND COST OH.—Nature makes us poor only when we want necessaries, but custom givos the name of poverty to the want of superfluities. RELIGION or A HYPOCRITE —There are two sides to every thing except the religion of a hypocrite,, end that is all oalside.