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THE STAR OF THE NORTH.
M, 11. JACOBY, Proprietor.] VOLUME 11 STAR OF THE NORTH. rUBLIHHKD EVERY WEDNESDAY BY \YM. 11. JACOBY, Office on Mniu St., 3rd Square below Market, TERMS:—Two Dollars per annum if paid within six months Iro-n the time of subscrib ing! two dollars and filly cts. if not paid with in the year. No subscription taken lor a less period than six months; no discontinuance Jiermilted until nil arrearages arc paid, un essat the option of the editor. The lei mi iJ ailvei rising will he as futlows: Due square, twelve lines, three times, $1 00 Every subsequent insertion, 25 One square, three months 3 00 One year, 8 no <£ i) oit e Poctrn. WHAT KATY REALLY DID. Oh, Katy, dear, you know you did, At midnight's silent hour, Steal i-oltly through the moonlight, To this my pleasant bower; And here beneath i s vines and leaves, . By blushing roses hid, Yon met the man you love Kate, You did, you UHOW you did Ami here you leaned upon Ills breast, His arm was round your waist. Your hand was locked in his, Kale, And when he stooped to taste The nectar that was on votir lip, Ilow gently was he chid— You loved to hear his whispered vows, < You did, you know you did. The moon was in the sky, Kate, The stars were watching there, The gentle breath of Summer night Was sporting in your hair; 1 listened to your words. Kate, Though soft and low they fell, 1 heard them every one, Kate, And if I would, could tell. But never fear me. gentle one, Nor waste a thought or 'ear. Lestl should whisper what 1 heard In any mortal ear. I only spoil among the boughs, And like a spirit hid. I think on what I saw and heard, And laugh out, "Katy-Did." I sit among the leaves here. When evening zephrys sigh. And those that listen to my voice, 1 love to mystify. I never teli them all I know, Although I'm often bid, 1 laugh at curiosity, And chirrup "Katy-Did." 1 would not make you blush, Kate, Your innocence 1 know— -1 know your spotless puiity, Is like the virgin snow. And yet you'd better not. Kate, Although yon think you're hid, Steal to tny bower by moonlight, As once you know you did. or A SKING A BLESSING. —''Sit up, Mr. Brock, and lake breakfast with us." "1 thank yer, I'v jees eat," said Mr. Brock) " Set up, and have some more." "No, I thank yer, 1 aim go", enny 'casion.' "Well, Mr Brock, I insist that you shall sit up and partake with us." "Wall," said Mr. Brock, as long as yer insist 'pott it so hard, and seein' as how your got bread, 1 11 b'lieve I'll take a leetlc Mr. Brock and all the family were soon seated at the table. Mr. Brock being call ed upon to say "grace," cleared up his throat and commenced, "Glide Lord, look down frum abuv and hav marcy on us here, and thar, and everywhere else. Sum of the rest of you must ax the blessin, fer I'll be Banged ef I kin." Without further cere mony Mr. Brock "pitched in," and pretty soon a big dish disappeared from before him. tST Insulting.— I'eter and Sambo, two lipped darkies, were "suitin" about a 'coon hide. Sambo, as he expressed it, becom ing disgustefied with the fuss, said, "Look a here Peter, less hush up dis hero fuss." "I'm willin," said Peter. ■"So is 1," said Sainbo, "and less talk fefiout dogs. How's yer old woman and chile, Peter." The indignant Pete make a grasp at Sambo's windpipe. Sambo acted very wisely— he run' . .... ty French Fun.—"Why do you make war on Austria 1" said a youngster to a comrade. "Stupid ! don't you know we are open ing new Boulevards every day ?" "Brother your Boulevards I That don't explain the war." "Yes it does, 100. As soon as wo open new Boulevards we have to make war." ''But why V' "To find uames of victories for them to be sure." A Yankee lad, whose father was a larm- Dt, went into the barn to play a short time Hk. and being detained prisoner by a jjfander storm, he fell asleep on a bag of ■po. The old gentleman when the storm ]|it over, went into the lurm-yard to look ttttrtfiason, and met a giant eight feet nßkepratng out of the barn. who are you ?" he cried, "what ere here 1" squeaked the Goliah, "it's you know Tommy 1" astonished parent exclaimed; on earth did you get stretchshort a time ?" "Why, the boy, looking down upon the gfWng man, "1 slept upon them bags ofcflnsno in the barn, and that the done the business." |C7" Whyis Queen a dog's tail? Because the queen and the dog's tail keeps a MOCK TURTLE —Calling a husb^Hfcny dear" in public, and "jou vale. I BLO'OWSBURG.'COLUItIBIA COUNTY. TA., WEDNESDAY. SEPTEMBER 14, 1859. | MAJ. MOSES VAN CAMP'S EARLY LIFE It* COLUMBIA COUNTY. " My first service was in the year 1777, when 1 served throe months under Col. Jno. Kelly, who stationed us at Big Isle, oil the West Branch of the Susquehanna. Noth ing particular transpired during that time, ami in March, 1778, I was appointed lieu tenant of a company of six-months men Shortly afterward, I was ordered by Col. Samuel Hunter to proceed with about 20 men to Fishipgcreek, (which empties into '.he North Branch of the Susquehanna about 20 miles from Northumberland,) and to build a fort about three miles from its mouth, for the reception of the inhabitants in case of an alarm from the Indians. In Mny, my fort being nearly completed, our spies dis covered a large body of Indians making their way towards the fort. The neighbor ing residents had barely time to fly (o the fort for protection, leaving their goods be hind. The Indians soon made their ap pearance, and having plundered and burnt the houses, attacked the fort, keeping a steady fire upon its during the day. At night they withdrew, burning and destroy ing everything in their route. What loss they sustained we could not ascertain, as they carried off all the dead and wounded, though from the marks of blood on the ground, it must have been considerable The inhabitants that took shelter in the fort had built a yard for their cattle at the head of a small flat at a short distance from the fort; and one evening in the month of June, just as they were milking them, my senti nel called my attention to some movement in the brush, which I soon discovered to be Indians, makingtheir way to the cattle yard. There was no time to be lost; I immediate ly selected ten of my sharp-shooters, and under cover of a rise of land, got between them and the milker 6. On ascending the ridge we found ourselves within pistol-shot of them; I fired first, and killed tho leader, but a volley lrom my men did no further execution, the Indians running off at oncq. It the mean time the milk pails flew in every direction, and the best runner got to the fort first; As the season advanced, In dian hostilities increased, and notwithstand ing the vigilance of our scouts, which were constantly out, houses were burnt and fam ilies murdered. On the return of the army I was taken with the camp-fever, and was removed to the fort which I had built in '7B, where my father was still living. In the course of the winter I recovered my health, and my fath er's house having been burnt in '7B by the party which attacked the before mentioned fort, my father requested me to go with him and a younger brother to our farm, about four miles distant, to make preparations for building another, and raising some grain.— But little apprehension was entertaiued of molestations from the Indians this season, as they had been so complete!) routed the year before. We left the fort about the last of March, accompanied by my uncle and his son, about twelve years old, and one Peter Pence. We had been on our farms about four or five days, when on the morn ing of the 30lh of March, we were surpris ed by a party of ten Indians. My father was lunged through with a war spear, his throat was cut, and he was scalped ; while my brother was tomahawked, scalped, and thrown into the fire before my eyes. While I was struggling with a warrior, the fellow who had killed tny father drew his spear from his body and made a violent thrust at mo. I shrank lrom the spear; the savage who had hold of me turned it with his hand so that it only penetrated my vest and shirt They were then satisfied with taking me prisoner, as they had the same morning ta ken my uncle's little son and Pence, though they killed my uncle. The same party, be fore they reached us, had loucbed on the lower settlements of Wyoming, and killed a Mr. Upson, and took a boy prisoner of the name of Rogers. We were now marched off up Fishingcreek, and in the afternoon of the same day we came to Huntington, where the Indians found four while men at a sugar camp, who fortunately discovered the Indians and fled to a house; the Indians only fired on them and wounded a Captain Ranson, when they continued their course till night. Having encamped and made their fire, we, tho prisoners, were tied and well secured, five Indians lying on one side of us and five on the other; in the morning they pursued their course, and, leaving the waters of Fishingcreek, touched the head waters ol Hemlock creek, where they found one Abraham Pike, his wife and child.— Pike was made prisoner, but his wife and child they painted, and told Joggo, squaw, go home. The continued their course that day, aud encamped the same night in the same manner as the previous. It came into my mind that sometimes individuals per formed wonderful actions, and surmounted the greatest danger. 1 then decided that these fellows must die: and thought of the plan to dispatch them. The next day I had an opportunity to communicate my plan to my fellow-prisoners; they treated it as a vision ary scheme for three men to attempt to dis paclh ten Indians. 1 spread before them the advantages that three men would have over ten whan asleep ; and that we would be the first prisoners that would be taken into their towns and villages alter our army had des troyed their corn, that we should be tied to the stake and suffer a cruel death ; we had now an inch of ground to fight on, and if we failed, it would only be death, and we might as well die one way as another. That day passed away, and having encamped for ihe night, wo lay as before. In the morning we came to the river, and saw their canoes; they had descended the river and run their canoes upon Little Tunkhannock creek, so called. They crossed the river and set their canoeß adrift. I renewed my suggestion to my companions to dispatch litem that night, and urged they must decide the question— They agreed to make the trial; but how shall we do it, was the question. Disarm them, and each lake a tomahawk, and come to close work at once. There are three of us; plant our blows with judgment, and three times three will make nine, and the tenth one we can kill at our leasure. They agreed to disarm them, and after that, one take possession of the guns and fire, at the one side of the four, and the other two lake tomahawks on the other ide and di-patch them. I observod that would be a very un certain way; the first shot fired would give the alarm ; they would discover it to be the prisoners, and might defeat us. I had to yield to their plan. Peter Pence was chos en to fire the guns, Pike and myself to tom ahawk ; we cut and carried plenty of wood | to give them a good fire; the prisoners were tied and laid in their places; after I was laid down, one of them had occasion to use his knife ; he dropped it at my feet; I turned my foot over it and concealed it; they all lay down and fell asleep. About midnight I got up and found them in a sound sleep. I slipped to Pence, who rose; I cut him loose and handed him the knife ; he did the same for me, and I in turn took the knife and cut Pike loose ; in a minute's time we disarmed them. Pence took his station at the guns. Pike and myself with our tomahawks took our stations; I was to tomahawk three on the right wing, and Pike two on the left. That moment Pike's two awoke, and were getting up : here Pike pro ved a coward, and laid down. It was a critical moment. I saw there was no time to be lost; their heads turned up fair; I dis patched them ia a moment, and turned to my lot as per agreement, and as I was about to dispatch the last on my side of the fire, Pence shot and did good execution ; there was only one at the off wing that his ball did not reach ; his name was Mohawke, a stout, bold, daring fellow. In the alarm he jumped ofT about three rods from the fire ; he saw it was the prisoners who made the attack, and giving the war-whoop, he darted to take possession of the guns; I was as quick to prevent him ; the contest was then between him and myself. As I raised my tomahawk, he turned quick to jump from me ; I followed and struck at him, but missing his head, my tomahawk struck his shoulder, or rather the back of his neck ; he pitched forward and fell ; and the same time my foot slipped, and I fell by his side; we clinched; his arm was naked; he caught me round my neck; at the same time I caught him with my left arm around the body, and gave him a close hug, at the I same lime l'eeliug for his knife, but could ' not reach it. In our scuffle my tomahawk dropped out My head was under the wounded shoulder, and almost suffocated me with his blood. I made a violent spring, and broke from his bold; we both rose at the same time, and he ran ; it took me some time to clear the blood from my eyes; my tomahawk had got covered up, and I could not find it in time to overtake him ; he was the only one of the party that escaped. Pike was powerless. I always had a reverence for Christian de votion. Pike was trying to pray, and Pence swearing at him. charging him with cowar dice, and saying it was no time to pray— he ought to light; we were masters of the ground, and in possession of all their guns, blankets, match coats, &c. I then turned my attention to scalping them, and recover ing the scalps of my lather, brother, and others, I strung them all on my bolt for safe keeping. We kept our ground till morning, and built a raft, it being near the bank of the river where they hau encamped, about fifteen miles below Tioga Point; we got all our plunder on it, and set sail lor Wyoming, the nearest settlement. Our raft gave way, when we made for land, but we lost coil- I siderable property, though wo saved our! guns and ammunition, and took to land ; wo reached Wyalusing late in lite afternoon. Came to the narrows ; discovered a smoke below, and a raft laying at the shore, by which we were certain that a party of In dians had passed us in the course of the day, and had halted for the night. There was no alternative for us but to rout them or go over the mountain ; the snow on the north side ol the hill was deep; we knew from' the appearance of the raft that the party must be small; we had two rifles each; my only fear was of Pike's coward ice. To know the worst of it, we agreed that I should ascertain their number, and give the signal lor the attack ; 1 crept down the side of the hill so near as to see their fires and packs, but saw no Indians. I con cluded they had gone hunting for meat, and that this was a good opportunity for us to mako off with their raft to the opposite side of the river. I gave the signal; they came and threw their packs ou the raft, which was made of small, dry pine timber; with poles and paddles we drove her briskly across the river, and bad got nearly out of reach of shot, when two of them came in ; they fired—their shots did no injury; we soon got under cover of an island, and went several miles ; we had waded deep creeks through the day, the night was cold ; we landed on an island and found a sink hole, in which we made our fire; after warming we were alayned by a cracking in the crußt; Piko supposed the Indians had got on to tho island, and WRS for calling for quarters ; m . Truth and Right Bod aiM our Country. to keep him quiet we threatened him with his life ; the stepping grew plainer, and seemed coming directly to the lite ; I kept a watch, and soon a noble racoon came un der the light. 1 shot tho racoon,when Bike jumped up and called out: "Quarters, gen tlemen ; quarter, gentlemen !" I look my game by the leg and threw it town to the fire: "Here, you cowardly rasca," I cried, "skin that and give us a roast lor supper." The next night we reached Wyoming, and there was much joy to see us ; we rested one day, and it being not safe logo to North umberland by laud, we procured a canoe, and with Pence and my little cousin, we descended the river by night; we came to Fort Jenkins before day, where I lound Col. Kelly and about 100 men encamped out of the fort} he enWlc in the West branch by the heads of Chillisquake to Fishingcreek, ut the end of the Nob moun tain, where my father and brother were kill ed ; he had buried my father and uncle; my brother was burnt, a small part of him only was to be found. Co!. Kelly informed me that my mother and her children wero in the fort, and it was thought that 1 was killed likewise. Col. Kelly went into the lort to prepare her mind to see me ; I took off my belt of scalps and handed them to an officer to keep. Human nature was not sufficient to stand the interview. She had just lost a husband and a son, and one had returned to take her by the hand, and one, too, that Bhe supposed was killed. The day alter I went to Sunbnry, where I was received with joy ; my scalps were exhibited, the cannons were fired, &c. Be fore my return a commission had been Bent me us ensign of a coin|KHty-ni be comman ded by Capt. Thomas Robinson ; this was, as I understood, a part of the quota which Pennsylvania had to raise for the continen tal line. One Joseph Alexander was com missioned as lieutenant, but did tint accept his commission. The summer of 1780 was spent in the recruting service ; our company was organized, and was retained for the de fence of the frontier service. In Feb. 1781, 1 was promoted to a lieutenancy, and enter ed upon the active duty of an officer, by heading scouts; and as Capt. Robinson was no woodsman nor marksman, he pre ferred that I should encounter the danger and head the scouts ; we kept up a constant chain of scouts around the frontier settle ments, from the North to the West branch of the Susquehanna, byway of the head waters of Little Fishingcreek, Chillisqnake, Muncy, &c. In the spring of 1781, we built a fort on the widow ttl ure's planta tion called McClure's Fort, where our pro visions were stored.— Sherman Day's Histor ical Collections of Pennsylvania. Beautiful Allegory. Mr. Crittenden was engaged in defend- j ing a matt who had been indicted for a ! capital offence, an elaborato and t powerful defence, he closed his effort by | the folloaing striking and beautiful Alle- j gory: "When God in His eternal counsel con- i ceived the thought of man's creation, he ' called to him the three ministers who wait constantly upon the throne—Justice, Truth' and Mercy, and thus addressed them : "Shall we make man V' Then said Jus tice, ' O, God, make hint not, for he will pollute thy sanctuaries." But Mercy, drop ping upon her knees,tiiiiWeotaing up through her tear, exclaimed, "0, God, make him— I will watch over him with care through all, the dark pathos which he may have to tread." Then God made man, and said to him "O, man, thou art the chid of Mercy ; go and deal with thy brother." The jury, Mhen he finished, wete drown ed in tears, and against evidence, and what must have been their own convictions, brought in a verdict of not guilty. THE FARMERS CREED —The following we extract lrom the New Jersey Freie Zeitung, German: I believe in small and well cultivated farms. 1 believe that Ihe soil wants nourishment, as well as man does; consequently, it needs manure. I believe in good crops, not exhausting the soil, but enriching IPhs well as the pro prietor. I believe that everything ought to he tes ted to the bottom ; therefore, 1 believe in deep plowing. 1 believe that all the lime, gypsum, bone dust and guano in the world, cannot render | afarm profitable, unless combined with in telligence, care and industry. 1 believe in good fence, good barns, good farm houses, good orchards, and plenty of children to gather the fruit. I believe in a clean kitchen, and a neat woman in it ; in a clean dairy, and a clear conscience. 1 believe that farmers who do not im prove their soil ; farms, which grow poorer every year ; cattle, that look like so many skeletons ; farmers' sons, who are bent, by all meaus, upon growing into clerks and merchants ; farmers' daughters, who think themselves too noble'fot'work; farmers, finally, who are ashamed of their station, and attempt to drownd this feeling in liquor —all of these I believe to be worth nothing. Vf An editor, who had been fined se,v eral weeks in succession for getting drunk, coolly proposed to tho judge that he should take him by the year at a reduced rate. PAPERS.— The papers having the largeßt Circulation—The paper of Tobacco. PEW-TALK AND CHURCH SCANDAL- That tall young fellow's here to day '. I wonder what's his name ? His eyes are fixed upon our pew— Do look at Sally Dame. Who's that young lady dressed in greon ? It can't be Mrs Leach ; There's Mr. Jones with Deacon Giles ! 1 wonder if he'll preach ? Lend me your fan, it is so warm, We both will sit in prayers ; Mourning becomes the Widow Ames — How Mary's bonnet flares. Do look at Nancy Slonper's veil, It's full a breadth too wide, I wonder if Susannah Ayres Appears to-day as bride ? Lord ! what a voice Jane ltice lias got; Oh, itow that organ roars ; I'm glad we've left the singers seat ; How hard Miss Johnson snores ! What ugly shawls are those in front ! Did you observe Ann Wild ? [back:- Her new straw bonnet's trimmed with I guess she's lost a child. I'm half asleep; that Mr. Jones ! His sermons are so long; This afternoon we'll stay at home, And practice that new song. t3T BLACKBKIIRVINU. —"Ah ! Sam, she's gone dead.", "Is she dead, Bones ?" "Yes, Sam. She sent for me three days after she died." "Oh, no, Bones; you mean three days previous to her disease." "No. She had no niece. She was an orphan." "I mean thrco days before she departed this earthly tenement." "Sir ?" "That is, thrqe days before she died 1" "Oh, yes ! Well, 1 went down to see her; went up to the bedside wid de bed in my eyes." "You mean with the tears in your eyes." "Yes, wid the pillows in my eyes. Sez she, 'Bones, I'm going to leave dis world of care." "What did you reply ?" "Sed I didn't care much. Den she axed me if I would go to de pothecary shop for I some medicine? I sed yes; so 1 went I down to Dr. Night Bell." "No, not to Doctor Night Bell, that's the name of the bell on the door—the night bell." "Well, I called him 'Doctor Night Bell' any how." ' 1 presume he was a good physician ?" "Oh, he wasn't fishtu'; he was home ." "Oh, no ; 1 mean he was a doctor of some note." "Yes; he was counting out his notos when Lwent in." "No, Bones ! You do not understand.— I mean he was a doctor of some standing." "No, he wasn't standiu', lie was sitting on a three-legged stool." "Pshaw ! I mean he was a doctor of: some reputation." "Yes ;he was dar; he was a nice feller.! He was de clerk." "Who was the clerk ?" "Reputation." "Well, what did tho doctor give you ?" i "He gabe nip a piece ob paper." "A prescription." ■'No, it was paper." "Of course it was on a paper, neverthe less, a prescription. What did it say ou the paper ?" "It was full of chalk-marks made wid a pencil. He sed I must get two dozen fish hooks No. 7, an' put in a quart ob molaases an' boil it down, den gib her de broth, so I went up to de bar—" "No ; jou mean the counter." "He didn't count them; he weighed 'em out." "Well, was there efficacy in the dose ?" "No, noffiti in it but fish hooks !" "1 mean, was the medicine any way ef ficacious ?" "Now, look here, Sam, be so kind as to dress me in de English languish." "Well, then Bones, I mean did the medi cine do her good." "It would have cured her, but the poor gal in absence of mind, instead of lakin' tho broth, took the fish-hooks, and dey kill ed her." "Then that must have been Iter funeral 1 saw last Wednesday." "No, it wasn't. De doctor says I can't bury her until next summer?" "Why not Bones ?" "ICase dat's de best lime to go out blaek berryin'." BP" Rather Fishy—"Dear Charles al ways gives me a new dress, or takes me to the opera, when 1 ask him," said a smiling wife, "and on my part 1 make no objection to his having a night-key." "Humph," growled her cynical uncle Horace, "Throwing out a club to catch a Salmon." GT "I can tell you how to save that horse," said a darky to a man in West street, who was looking very earnestly at a skeleton ol a horse attached to a vehicle heavily loaded with oysters. "Will you ?—say on." " Why, just slip him away while the crows are at roost." OPEN your heart to sympathy, but close it to despondency. Tho flower which opens to receive the dew, shuts against rain. Do your duty and defy the Devii. From the Richmond (Fit.) Dispatch, Ma. American Love of Titles. If there is a weakness in American char acter which may well excite the wonder and derision of even those strangers who desire to think well of us and our institu tions, it is the inordinate fondness lor titles which exists among a nation whose pride it ought to be that it did not descend from a tilled claes, that it has prohibited by law or ders and titles of nobility, and that it has made its own greatness. It can do us no harm to look sometimes at our laults and foibles, as well as our superlative virtues, and he is no friend who tails to make known to a friend his errors, or to prevent him from making himself ridiculous. Wo hold that no one has tqore just reason for pride tHari the man who, originally poor, humble, and unaided by powerful triends of influence, has made himself one of Ihe pillars of the Stale, one of tho chief members of the learned professions, or a leader in any.prominent department of hu man enterprise. Great Britain, Franco, and even the despotic countries of the Conti. nent, can show such men, and they are reverenced there among kings and courtiers; they are often "the power behind the throne that is greater than the throne;" some times they control cabinet-", lead armies, and decide lite destines of empires. In this country such cases aro more numerous, for here there is a fair field for each and all, and a list of the names who have risen in the United States, from the humblest origin to the high places of the land, would fill a volume. Our country itself was settled mainly by the middle classes, and agricul tural and mechanical laborers of Great Brit ain. They were men who valued pitch, muscle and manhood—qualities which are more highly appreciated in a new country than gentle blood and ancestral renown.— By the exercise of these qualities tho Re public has become, in the lifetime of a man one of the great powers of the earth, and it would have a moral grandeur equal to its physical, but for a universal hankering after the fleshpols cf aristocracy which consoles the most envious und sardonic of its ene mies. If, in this tide-forbidding nation, this peo ple which professes to despise the ancient nobility of Europe, there could be published a book containing all the titles applied to, or appropriated by American citizens, a stranger would come to the conclusion that the whole population is composed of Gen erals, Colonels, Majors, Captains, Honora b'es. Commodores, Doctors, and Esquires. The plain title of "Minister' has become a mark of distinction. Who is willing to be only "Minister?'' Who will • consent to serve as a private in this Repub- I lican army ? When these titles, so various and innumerable, are not mere ornamental handles to ordinary names, when they in dicate superior knowledge or merit, it is : right att proper that they spould be bestow ed. But, as a general thing, the very re verse is the case, and handles of silver and gold are stuck on to earthen jugs with the evident conviction that by this new kind of alchemy the jug will become of the same precious metal as the handle. Military ti tles, belonging to a prolessiott of which is less known in this country than any other, are mo'Fb common than all the rest combin ed. Every member of Congress, Sickles in cluded, is Honorable, and every private citizen an Esquiro. Hitherto tho Navy, be ing a vocation of the sea, has been able to keep its titles from the hard earned honors of our gallant naval defenders, who get lit tle else but honor and hard knocks in the way of compensation, are no longer sacred. The yacht club of New York, we perceive, has converled its vessels into a squadron, and invested otto ol their Captains with the title of "Commodore." They intend to do things quite man-of-war fashion, and very likely will altogether eclipse the regular service in seamanship and fighting quali ties in a very short time. In other depart ments, wo fir.d even more ridiculous exam ples of affection and imposture. Nothing is more common than to see the honored | name of "Professor," a name which has a technical signification, and belongs exclu sively to a puDlic teacher of the sciences in a University or College, assumed by every mountebank and humbug, by balloonists, phrenologists, rope dancers, and we have eve heard of a Professor of Corns." The colleges and universities of the coun try have some reason to complan of such an appropriation and application of their peculiar property ; but we think it can be shown that it is, after all, only retributive justice, and that they, who have conferred honors with so little discrimination, ought not to murmur when they are despoiled of own badges of distinction. How few are the colleges in America in which a degree confers any evidence of merit. In the be stow meut of honors upon outsiders, especi ally the title of D. D., the colleges in the country have done more to multiply unne cessary titles, and have committed greater injustice, than all tho imposilors and swin dlers in the land. In lormer times, the time, the title of "Doctor of Divinity" meant something, and it was rare and dis criminating bestowed. How is it now ? Let every man look around him, and de cide if this titlo is always an evidence of extraordinary theological learning ; nay, if it is not often given to the merest sciohsts and smatterers in theology, whtlo (and here is the crying injustice of this reckless distribution of clerical honors,) men really deserving are passed by, and thus lowered in the estimation of the community, who [two Dollars per Annum NUMBER 3G, nnturally regard lliem in their profession, because the tribnnal which dispenfces the rewards of merit has not conferred upon them that badage of superior desert which it is its province to bestow, and of which it is supposed to be the best judge. It would be better to dispense with the title altogether than to lavish it so indiscrimi nately, and with as little judgment and jus tice as it is now often applied. t IT A Phragment of an Owed to a Phree mont Pole Whol was a Bein Cut Down for Stove would : Woodman ! spare them poles, Touch not a single wun ; Last fall they cheered our soales, Just let 'em stand for phun. It was our Phrecmont Clubb. That first did place them there ; Oh I please, sur, let 'em stand, Or else yew'll here us sware. A SIMPLE CUKE FOR THE CROUP —The Jour nal of health says, when a child is taken' with the croup, instantly apply cold water— ice water if possible—suddenly and freely to the neck and chest with a sponge. Tho breathing will almost instantly be relieved. Soon as possible, let tho sufferer drink as much as it can ; then wipe it dry, cover it warm and soon a quiet slumber will relievo all anxiety. "JOE, why were you out so late last night ? "It wasn't so very late—only a quarter of twelve." "How dare yon sit there and tell me that lie I I was awako when you came, and looked at my watch—it was three o'clock. "Well isn't ihree a quarter of twelve V' I T~ "Come here, you mischievous raS cal I" "Won't you whip me father?" "No," "Will you swear you won't V "Yes." "Then I wont come, father ; for Parson At wood says, 'He that will swear, will lie." i tf~ "My son havn't I told you three times to go and shut that gate V said a father to a four year old. "Yes, and havn't I told you three times that I wouldn't do it. You must be stupid." QT Kissing a pretty girl down South, a young gentleman asked her—"whatraakes you so sweet 1" "Oh," she replied in utter innocence "my father is a sugar planter." Itr "Weigh your words," said a man to a fellow who was blustering away in a towering passion at another. "They won't weigh much if he did," said Eie antagonist coolly. EST The Salem Gazette says the follottf ing notice may be seen at a blacksmith's shop in the town of Essex : "No hoases on Sunday 'cept sickness or Deth t V fn Cork, a short time ago, the crier of the court endeavored to disperso the crowd by exclaiming : "All ye blackguards that isn't lawyers quit the court." \3T What one of the planets is suppos ed to have the most specie V The moon ; because she is continually changing quar ters. IT A young man in New York having advertised for a wife received word from eighteen married men that he might have theirs. EST A young thief, charged with pick ing pockets, protested that he didn't pick them at all, but took them as they come. X3T Aunt Betsy has said many good things, one among them that a newspaper is like a wife, because every man should have one of his own. IT "Thai's what I call capital punish ment," as the boy said when his mothet shut him up in the closet among the pre serves. A man, who undertakes to reach a posi tion by making speeches, is like a parrot that climbs with his back. A young woman in Newark, on being asked how she could bring her mind to marry an old man of seventy (Which she had recently done,) replied that the hide and tallow of an old ox would generally buy a young heifer; meaning, that as her old man was rich, it would bo all right by and by. "JOHN said a master to his apprentice as he was about starting on a short journey, "you must occupy my place while 1 am absent." "Tliuk you sir," demurely replied John-, "but I'd rather sleep with tho boys." A foot-race took place a few days ago at Rochester, New York, between two men, called respectively "the American Deer" and "North Star." They ran five miles lor a wager of three hundred dollars. The deer was not floet enough for the Star, who made the five miles in thirty seven minutes. A common domeslio clock, having run down, Tibbs, with unblushing effrontery, observed that it had come to untimely end 1 Make no mischief by meddling with oth er jolk's matters.