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Mining SSIII Journal.
J ' B '-° DER ’ AN INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER “ '.,.50 p„ „n U m-IN ADVANCE :!r ’™ Ybai '- n '° 41 • Fitosriu Hn. Mi„ Saturday, July <;, n><>7. \y~. Cards. 1893 ESTABLISHED 1907 Dr. I. L. RITTER, DENTIST, l*il Broadway. jJT] Frost burg, Mil. Miscellaneous Advertisements. C. L. PeLaliter I i (let the Habit J 1 vf, ? ' "<• % i f 1 i“.iS Fam 6pS>j ~ l % i- £ DiL r *uim i 3 ' ct | * ; Oc&pL# | ' * “XuT Scl” Somerset County (Ba.) ' I’hone No. LI Mc.vcrsdalc, l’a. GEO. N. BEALL. VIOLINIST '"£r— 'T Teaching of Violin a Specialty; also Mandolin and Guitar. STTDIO—II(> FROST AYHNUK. Jano Frost >1(1. To Elks Lodges A FI LL NKU NTKI) III.I\ FOB SALK. / L In good condition and of very l.ugc size. Just the tiling for an uj* to-date Klks 1 Lodge Hall, whether so equipped already or not. Inquire of MININti JoI'KNAL, I>ec 1 Frost burg. Md. SUGGESTIONS I’KUTINKNT TO Spring - Season GOODS — — 5 ALT MACKEKKL Sail SHAD Sail II K.lvlilNH Kir 1 Cod Fish SAUDI N KS SALMON Ki j>j>m*il II Hit HI N (I Spiced TKOI’T CHAM MHAT LOBSTEUS, SIIUIM I’S, etc., etc., etc., All and more in the line of up-to-date GROCERIES -—to be had at the store of—- C. F. BETZ. This Grocery affords a wide range of eltoiee of things good to eat. and our delivery system is one of our best features. [ Feb H> Real Estate Sales. 8' INVESTMENT 8 *2,000 Ur ILL ITKCHASK A (’KNTRALLY located— PROPERTY tear tjun'ii City Hotel. • • • Cumberland, Md.. Renting for sl2lO a year. Taxes in 1005 * 27.T0 Water rent 12.00 Insurance 1.20 S per cent, on >2,000.. mom Total >201.07) Leaving a balance for contingencies of >.'3H D. P. MILLER & CO., OTTM merland, '•Yl> 17 Ml>. ... .he Large./ - ! Most Modern Plants in th# South. PRINTINO BOOK BINDING BLANK BOOK MANUfAt 1 tJRING !X B JErtVEY, Stationer, r :r)KRI.AND, MD - ■ •> “ ! Alios HV'Vr-. | The Dethronement | | of Douglas, § By JANE INGRAHAM. | jjj ( 'nj> riudit. litff. b> M. M. ( iimiin.,iiaiu. Harriet Winthrop I Hong *d to the class >f girls who bow to physical strength in the npposl'c sex. Frail a most tlowerllke in her beauty, the sort of girl who had been protected and served nil her life, sh • yet decorated her tiny morning room with etchings and small statuettes of classic heroes /lined for their physical prowess, and she could sit through a veritable bliz 7.ird to watch a football match and shout herself hoarse for Ted’s college* team. Ted was her brother, and he said that somewhere in Harriot’s makeup 1 was a strain from the blood of an an cestral belle who had cheered on her hero in tin* old tournament days, for the \Yinthrops could trace their lineage to the tournament days and further, and, even though Mr. Winthrop had lost a large slice of the old family for tune through ill advised investments, they maintained their social stan in •. lived in rather severe but elegant fash lon and held fast to every tradilioii. in eluding the firm belief that no lady tides in a street ear or other public conveyance. She may walk abroad for exercise only, but when calling or shopping the plain, rather old fashion ed brougham of the depleted Win throp stables was brought into service. That was why when many other girls with more money to spend on shopping tripped merrily up and down the great retail thoroughfare Harriet Winthrop chafed In the Winthrop brougham, caught In a blockade of snarling motormen, sharp faced chauf feurs and obstinate cabbies. The brougham swung to one side, the wheels grating tin* curb, and Harriet leaned forward to see how close they wen* to the shop wherein could he found n certain piece of silvery blue gauze marked down to post holiday prices. Then, with a gasp and a shud der, sin* leaned back in tin* carriage and closed her eyes. Sin* had forgotten the silvery gauze, the shop, the jam of vehicles- everything save the tall, square shouldered figure of a man, whose entire attention seemed to be centered on the tint of pancakes lie was turning in the window of a white front ; restaurant. The brougham moved forward a few inches, then several feet. Very soon it would be out of range, so Harriet took out* more glimpse at the win dow to make sun* that her eyes had not deceived her. No, it was he, and this time he was actually handing the white aprone 1 waitress a plate piled high with golden brown cakes. What was Jerry Douglas doing in that window, and how could in* bestow upon the white aproned girl precisely the same frank, cordial smile with which he had greet ell Harriet at that last dance, after Teddy’s team had won through Douglas* clever coaching? She bought half a yard more gauze than slu* needed and went home firm ly convinced that Jerry Douglas had been cooking cakes to pay a wager. That night she went to a dance where many mutual friends gathered, but no one seemed to have hoard of tin* esca- | pade, and she was too proud to make inquiries. The next day she went buck to the shop so close to tin* restaurant. A bit of pah* blue velvet ribbon would set off that silver gauze, but she decid ed that, after all, she did not care whether the silver gauze was develop ed into a creation or not. Nothing mat tered save that her idol had crumbled at her very feet or, more properly speaking, within a few foot of the wheels of her brougham, for there again was Jerry Douglas, turning what i slu* thought must be very fat and indi- i gostible fried biscuits. So it was not an election wager or anything of that sort. Ah, she knew! ll** had gone in for sociology. He was studying the comlitiou of tin* working classes. Next tiling he would be living in one of those dreadful settlement houses, holding club meetings for ragn mullins and poor factory girls and writing silly tilings for magazines— this man whom she had watched with baited breath on the football field, whom she had pictured as sallying forth to pit his magnificent strength, physical and mental, against the mag nates of tin* commercial and financial world. Cooking cakes in a restaurant win dow ! Harriet Winthrop walked with firm, feliberate step t* her desk and took (own from the wall above it a picture rhowlng a group of lusty young men in football attire and also a certain in dividual picture of a young man with a finely formed head and broad, square shoulders. She thrust the two behind some boxes on the top shelf of her clothespress and then sat down for a good cry. Of course she might have found out what it all meant if Teddy had been home, but Teddy, after leaving college, had gone to Paris to follow up his studies in naval arch!tec lire. Any how it did not matter. Of course it had been only a girlish fancy, and then Jerry Douglas has acted rather strangely since he went back to his Virginia home—a few casual notes, no references to his future career, in which she had betrayed an interest, which she now felt was presumption and unmaidenly, and so she cried some more. And just after she had worked her self into a fine nervous state, from which she would Issue forth pallid uul forlorn, a messenger brought her a most amazing nob*. It was from Jer ry Douglas, and it calirlj m it *1 .V ss Winthrop to attend a I itlo - poor he was giving at the I: ir • r • .nirant In honor of his promo' * i It w• M be served on the up >er t n* of the i taurant at Thtii ' l.i\ : \ m it after tin* rush was over . i I w>l l slu* please come, because V \<*l Landers bad agreed to act as t u >.i and ev cry one knew that Mrs \e 1 was a li )st hi herself. Here was a perfectly I • i ;:tc ave nue of inquiry whi h r n Lie Win throp pride might not In* ' *te to f.l low. so sin* bathed her e\ ■ n annue l the Winthrop brougham :aid drove to Mrs. Ned Landers’ smart •' ' * apart ment. Of course she rmld a>t accept the Invitation, and sin* \\ *l 1 nit de cline without making innui Mrs. Landers, shrewdh reeding from the white, tired fare that something had gone amiss, made tea directly, and Harriet sipped it apprei 1 itively. “You know, mother is a hit old fash ioned” •'She even disapproved of studio fiats Instead of houses?’* inquired Mrs. Landers, with dancing eyes. "She thinks you an* the most won derful manager in the wor’d. but a res taurant supper I mean that particular sort of restaurant” "I understand, an 1 I : n just bub bling with the se ret. I’ve been wait ing to tell every one f r v. cr!;s, but Jerry Dougins made me cr smy heart and swear no. V , d * r h * i< a he *o. the sort you don't of'ei fid in this day of spoiled mi!li<" • * n; and fawning parasites. When In* I’nMiol Ills College roil!" e ail 1 s i fed to read i law with an old friend of ! i; father’s down In Virginia he \w\ ’ * what was to him an awful di '•> or . I!is In heritance had paid < d hi*'- hare ex penses at college. All tlie li‘tV p’ens ures, nceessorie . the n < ;a! end • f the game, his mother had made by her own handiwork. She had been doing exquisite embroi h*ry f r a woman’s exchange and a New Y department store to keep him at college as his fa ther and grandfather had been kept be fore him. “His first feeling, being a Virginia man of chlvalrie pride vas deco hu miliation. I am afraid h> was a hit hard on the little mother f r daring to do such a tiling. Then he turned his hack on the law and cam * north, go ing straight to the fattier of a ynuiig i ster he had known at < >Teg,*, the sort who roll In wealth made in a single generation. The hoy’s father has till sorts of common ial lnV-e ts, includ ing the l.mpln* chain of quick lunch counters, and ho promptly < .Tored Jer ry the chance to act as < a liier in one of those dreadful lunch rooms.” Harriet was leaning l’nrw.irl, drink ing in every word oUi.ions t> tin* fact that Mrs. Ned wa lu ying her face with matronly amusement. “Well, this partieuar lunch room was in a badly di or anized state, and Jerry not only made change - *, but ho fired tin* cook, who ha 1 been making trouble, and cooked himself until lu* could got a docent man lie stoppe 1 quarreling among th.* waitre so; -and l ow he is going to Mexico for t ie man who was just trying him out In a lunch room. and. what i ; more, he is going on a most ticklish and impor tant mission." Harriet leaned back with a si ;li that might have meant reaction or some thing deeper. "And so he ha : asko 1 just six of us to have that little sup: er. for which he ! agrees to cook all j o t of things, from pancakes t > somethin •; he calls butter cakes. Anyhow, it can’t b * worse for our digestion than some of the New burg messes our friend makes in chaf ing dishes. Will you go?” Harriet rose instantly. "If you won’t think me abrupt. I’m going home this minute to telephone my acceptance.” Wise Mrs. Ned did not suggest that in her hallway was a te!e: hon * instru ment. which Harriet had oftti nos used, and the girl went her way Later as she hung up the telephone receiver in , the Winthrop library her eyes seemed to sillue like diamonds, and a soft Hush mounted to her pale gold hair. And from tin* library she went straight to her own room, climbed up to a clothespress shelf and lugged forth two photographs. Then, with her chin resting in the palms of her hands, she sat down, studying them with eyes that still shorn* with the light that once must have brightened the face of the ancestral belle at tin* tournament. Bithing In the Ganges. .At Benares before sunrise we went | down Un* river where our boat waited, says a writer in the March Travel Magazine, and sat comfortably on the little cabin roof, kodaks in hand, and as tht* sun rose higher snapped groups of people so absorbed in their prayers that they hardly noticed us. At the I lore popular places were a mass of young and old w ho stood for a moment I in the shallow water and then ducked under, emptying little trays of dow ers or garlands as they did so till the surface of the water was covered thick. As new crowds constantly pressed forward any one who stayed under water more than a * oml was In danger of having another worshiper on his back. It was a groat festival, rnd the estimated number of bathers was in the millions. The Mystery Solved. “Why did lovey iiiawwy dove.v, huh?’’ cooed the foolish young married thing as it twined its arms about the neck of its husband. “Well, you see, we’d ecu going to gether quite awhile, Mabel, and you had begun to net this way. So I decid ed It wjw the only way 1 could get rid of you without a breach of promise ; Sllit.” Aud immediately he was rid of her for at least a day or two.—Judge. A MATCH OF MILLIONS. That of Ethel Rockcfc'ler r.nd Marcel* lu* Hartley Dodce. Miss Ktli**l l;• Ut iVilci. daughter of \\*ill i;iin KotUoiollor, who is t<> marry MarcHlus Hartley Hodge. is an en thusiastie horsewoman. She U a I* an ty of a dark and dashing typo. 11<r Hama* is almost as rich as her father im I tin* givater pari of Ids fortune, estimated at over immm in, he* inlier tied from his grandfaiher. the iate im MISS ICOOKEI EM.KK O' HO! Si:i!A< K AND MR. DOlXii;. Marcellas Hartley lie attends very closely to his hnsiness. Miss Rockefel ler will inherit enough from her father, the Standard oil magnate, to help make both ends meet in case her hus band's S.'niMNU’nn should be unexpect edly depleted. Though a match of millions. It is also a love match. EMINENT GERMAN OFFICER. Lieutenant General Alfred F. J. L. von Loewenfeld. Kaiser’s Adjutant. His excellency Lieutenant (ienernl Alfred U. .1 I. von Loewenfeld. who came to this country to represent the (Jennan emperor at 1 ! e .! me ! >wn ex position and to attend the national nr bitration and peace ro igvss in New York. Is general adjutant of bis maj esty tlie emperor and commander of the first divi ion of the infantry guard. < lenernl von Loewenfeld was the only soldier on the lid of guests k v* A tj —.— ~ A.-. GENERAL VON LOEWENITU), invited by Andrew Carnegie to come to America at his expense to attend the opening of the Carnegie institute. ■ lie was a guest at a dinner given in New York by Herman Kidder, editor of the Slants Xeitung. in It mor of Cliar lamagne Tower, ambassador to (ier many. In the course of his remarks the general paid a delicate compliment to Mrs. Tower, saving that “American womanhood is the best and brightest In the world.” WANTS WOMEN JUDGES. Mrs. Carrie Kilgore and Her Bill to Al low Fair Sex on Bench. Mrs. Carrie Kilgore, the noted wom an lawyer of Philadelphia, recently at tracted attention by causing to be in troduced in the Pennsylvania legisla ture a bill permitting women to be elected to the judiciary. At present women are allowed to wear all kinds of robes and gowns except those of the judge. Mrs. Kilgore, who has lveu a member of the Philadelphia bar since iss:;, says in support of her bill: “There is nothing startling in the pro \ isal t • place women upon tin* bench f N -m jijijvLi N I i ’• I MBS. CAKUIG KILGOIiH. If a woman is alilo to master law and practice it. sin* is able to see that it is properly dispensed, it is not so far now from the liar to the bench ns it, formerly was from tin* kitchen or the nursery to tin* liar. The business and social emancipation of the sex makes this proposition not only possible, but | just.” Mrs. Kilgore is particularly in favor | of women as judges In juvenile courts. I OBJECT LESSON ROADS. Highway Improvement Work of the Department of Agriculture. The office of public roads of flip de partment of agriculture Is now col lecting Information from every county in the United States in regard to the mileage of Improved and unimproved roads, the amount of cash tax, bonds issued and other Information of a similar nature. No more telling argu ment for reform in wasteful methods can be adduced than to bring home to every county Just what results they are obtaining as compared with the result obtained by others at a similar cost. The department of agriculture is paving a good deal of novation to the subject of good roads, for pro!.ably no field of work is of greater Interest to the public at large than the improve ment of our highways. The most Im portant result which has been attained up to this time, whether produced by influence in or outside the olliee of public* roads. Is that the people in all parts of the country are now interest ed In the subject of road improvement and are seeking such information as will (‘liable them to carry on tlu* work along intelligent lines. While the work of the good roads olliee is primarily educational In char acter. giving information and advice, it has often found it advisable* to sup plement advice by a practical demon stration of effective road building. To meet this need the object lesson method was adopted on the following plan: A section of road i; selected for improvement, and after the proper sur veys and estimates have been made by an engineer of the department expert foreman and machinery operators are sent out In charge of modern road building machinery and the local of ficials are taught by act cal demonstra tion every step in the jper construe ti<>n of a load. Absolv.;e!y no expense is incurred by the federal government in this work except for the salaries and expenses of the* g vernment em ployees, the* local communities being required to furnish tin* right of way, all common labor, team-*, materials, etc..used in the work. Stu b roads have been built in twenty-eight states, with i a total length of about thirty-nine miles. What Good Roic-'s Cost. Interesting facts a i ► tin* cost of main road maintenance in tin* county of Yorkshire, Knglacd. are sent by Uonsul Walter (' Hamm of Hull. The roads were well eon iruete 1 originally and arc* well eared for now. It is a rare sight to so.* a ratty or muddy country road in the* ne'g'.h >rho d. Most all of them are macadamized, well drained and kept in g■ *d repair. As a consequence one horse* can draw a load which would require two or three* horses over tin* usual c entry road in America. There are about Lino miles ! of road in the county, and tin* cost of the roads has increase l from $7.”t,0U0 in lNbo tosPin,ono in Dm;, and tin* cost per mile from £0.71 to in tlu* same period. There* is a constant tendency to increase in tin* cost of maintenance, hut this increase is in part accounted for by the construction of fo >tpaths and the placing of granite “sets” to protect the roads from injury by trol ley lines. Share the Expense. If one county cannot afford to em ploy an engineer, let two or three counties share* the expense and the benefits, says the direct r of tlu* Unit ed States olliee of puhli • roads. Under this engineer’s immediate* jurisdiction should he placed a number of skilled road supervisors or roa l overseers, each to have* a given territory for which he should he* responsible. Iu his territory tin overse*er slnmlel have dire<*t supervision over every road 1 gang, and each gang sh >uld ho In s e barge* of a foreman. Unde*r this sys tem of organization r.nd administra tion there* would Im* no waste of pub lic revenues In ill advise.l and ill con ducted efforts at road building or road maintenance. New Roadbed Material. A ne*vv road Im* i n ale* ial is being ex perimented with in lmreipe which is ecemoniieal. easily applie 1 and very durable. It consists of a mixture of liquid tar and tine gravid. The* gravel Is first beaten in a revolving drum and then the tar is ullowed to mix with it in the* revolving chamber. After this It Is elumpeel out and allowed to staml for several weeks, during which time a fermentation Is said to take place and the tar Is said to penetrate into the pores of the gravel very thorough ly. It Is then scattered on the road way and rolled down. In addition to the other merits claimed for it. Is the )ne that It Is dustless. Build For Permanency. | Land and property, said a speaker at i a good roads convention, were* valuable i In proportion to their accessibility to market or pleasure, and whatever adds s to the accessibility enhances values, i The history of the country, he stated, i bore witness to the most useless and < wasteful extravagance in the use of money and labor on Its highways, and the lesson to he* learned wis to build i as el id the ancients, for permanency * and with the utmost care and thought for the future. i | Increase Property Value. ' The Pueblo (Colo.) Chieftain adds Its evidence lo the* cause of good roads j ' when it says: “The benefits of public * ! Improvements, (‘specially paving, are shown lu the* rapidly increasing value of property within the paving districts of J Pueblo. This increase will more than < pay the cost of the paving. It should ' stimulate n demand for paving among < , property owners In sections of the city where this improvement has not been | ‘ made.” I i Woman's Ways T hose V* ho I akr l Jfe So Serious ly I hat Tliey W ear Themselves Out at an Early Age—The Airi mated Price List. there actually are women who take life too seriously. Sail, hut true! I am not one of those foolish people who believe In bolting through life looking neither to the right nor to the left, but that is a masculine fault. It seems to me men spend their lives avoiding trouble and women in look lug for It. And, as for making the simplest performances ilillicult for themselves, how they delight In it! No one will deny that a woman's life Is more shut in than a man's, lint the average woman makes It more shut In even than it has to be. The other morning was glorious weather. Mrs. Smith and 1 met down town at about fk.'iO. Mrs. Smith Is the mother of three, but you would never know it. She lias the complexion of a girl, never worries and is out of doors every minute she can spare. No em broidery or fussing for her, but a chest measure any one might envy, with pink cheeks and bright eyes. ; About 11 o’clock we decided to make u call on Mrs Brown, who lived in an apartment house not far off with her devoted husband anil a six months baby. A Martyr to Baby. How do you suppose we found her? She was still undressed, looking pale and listless, sitting on the edge of the bed in that stilling atmosphere of steam heat and closed windows. In her arms she held the sleeping baby, while in the next room the nurse look ed out of the window idly. “For goodness' sake!” Mrs. Smith gasped, and she threw up a window. “Oil, don't the baby has a cold!" cried the young mother. “Fold? I should think It would have!" snorted the older woman. “Why don't POUND HEH BITTINO ON THE EDOE OP THE lIED WITH THE HAIIT. you get your things on and come out? You look like a ghost!" "1 have to stay with the baby,” was the answer. “Aren't children an aw ful care?” she murmured pathetically. “Yes, If you make them so," I couldn't belli remarking. “Oh, you don’t know anything about It!" she sighed, and all our entreaties she met with refusals mid the air of a Christian martyr. "Will she ever get over it?" 1 asked Mrs. Smith as we went down the steps into the brilliant sunshine. "No," answered that practical per son; "she's that kind of a woman. By and by she will lose her health and be nil invalid Just at the time that child lias grown old enough to need her. But change her disposition? You could as soon change a hearse into a big reil automobile!” And I think she was right The Animated Price List. “Why don’t you like to go out with Mrs. B. ? She always gives you a good time,” I said to a woman friend. "Khe is the 'animated price list,’” came the answer. “You have to learn what everything costs. She will tell you the price of her fur coat, of her hat, of her gloves even, all neatly sandwiched Into the conversation. You will learn that she has bought a new automobile and that they have Just paid $1,200 for a box at the opera, ‘which, of course, costs twice as much, my dear,’ she will add s innocently. Here is a specimen of her i conversation: “ 'Do you want to know a good per fume? Well, go to Charge & Koakems and nsk for angel’s breath at $5 an ounce. Whnt does It smell like? Why, I have some on. “ ‘Yes, the market has been perfectly awful, but then I’ercy is a bear, and he cleared nine thousand on X. Y. and Z. “'The chauffeur runs the machine well? lie ought to! We imported him from Paris at a ruinous price.’ Here follow more financial details. “ ‘Good gracious! We almost ran over a man! Percy had to pay $25 fine only day before yesterday. “ ‘Yes, we need new tires, but they cost so much. The special make for this car comes to ,’ etc. “And you nsk me why it bores me to ga out with her!” HELENA WAKE. BARGAINS GALORE. How the Husband Attempted to Tea:h His Wife a Little Lesson. Tin* married quid looked fnni his pn ptT iutosh tilt* table at his wife, who was busy sowing. Ho roughed to at tract her attontion. "My dt ar,” lie said, "here's a gasoline engine for sale tit a sacrifice.” "My goodness!” said his wife. "Whyt •h> wo want with a gasoline engine? You don't mean an automobile, do you?” "Of course not.” "There are so many new names for them.” “This is not an automobile,” eontin uni tlit* man. "It's a gtsolii o engine, a two horse power engine, one of the host makes, and in good on or. 1 think I must look it up.” ”1 ut what's tho use of i: . Wo don t want” - "Wo don’t now. ! know, but wo might at any time, almost. It has lots of iisos. Wo could uto it to saw wood or pump wator. If wo wont to live in a suburb where there was no water supply, wo could dig a well and pump water all over the house. Ono third the cost, it says.” "Hut it scorns t * me” The man turned to his paper and ran his tinker down the column. “ ‘Piano for sale.’ ” lie read. " ‘Own er must leave city on account of health. Paid s.*oo two months ago. i’ 1 take SOO cash.’ How would you like to pi over with me to look at it, my dear?” "Hut we have one piano.” “Wo haven’t had a new one for over a year.” said the man. with some heat, "and we only paid $.”00 for it when it was new. Hid you understand I could get it for $00?” "It can’t ho any paid at that price, and even if it was" ‘Virens men. attention!” read the man. "A line, healthy male polar bear I live years old can be obtained for less than the cost of his transportation from SpitzbcrpMi. Comparatively good tem pered and acclimated. A bargain.” “William!” exclaimed the wife, with a bewildered air. "\\ e could make a rim of him if we could get him cheap enough. You know we’ve been needing a rug for the library. "Here's a concrete making machine, I see, also a bargain, and, moreover, a d lieatesscn store and” "Are you out of your mind?” "Klmlrn,” said the man reproachfully, "did I ask you such a question as that "hen you were reading over your list of barpiin purchases a few hours ago?” “Chicago News. Useful Hornets. “Pawson,” said the oi l colored dea con as he timidly pa zed at the hornets’ nest in the course of coird ruction among the rafters of the meeting house, "why doan’ yo* uit a broom an’ sweep dem insects out oh do house oh worship?” Hut tin* wise old parson shook Ills head solemnly. "No, Hruddah Simpson, Providence done sent dem hornets.” ” *Kn what foil, pawson?" ‘‘Why, to keep slcepiu* slnnehs awake. Wid all dem hornets buzziif fro tie nill deh won’t he eimy mo’ snorin’ In church dls season.” Chicago Xe w's. Matter Enough. ‘ w Parmer (alarmed at old Haller’s fa cial contortions) What’s t‘ matter, John? Don’t ee like t’ dinner? John It’s noun that matter, but n’ve only got one tooth an* a’m tryin’ to spike a pickled onion. Tatler. Too Late. Politician Hefore you send in your report of this interview 1 want to see it. Reporter Impossible! I sent it in half an hour before I interviewed you. -New York Life. At the Musical. “What a marvelous strain that is!” fa id the musical genius. “Yes,” said the unappreciative, “I, too, fool it.” Harvard Lampoon. Spring In Cactus Center. The sun shines on the desert in a daz zlin’ flood of white, And the stars appear much nearer In tho calm and balmy night; The greasers tire a-noddin’ ’gainst tho warm adobe walls, And you'll find a buneh, connoted, where each hit of sunshine falls. The bronchos’ heads are droopin' as they stand up to the rack. And eaeli burro is a-rollin' fer to git rid of Us pack; Kvcry squaw that comes a-tradin’ is asleep on her cay use, And the hull southwest in savin’. “Spring is lu re, so what's the use?" From the town’s edge rolls the desert, like a magic, painted sea. And ncrost it voices whisper: "Mount, you puncher. Ride—be free!” Hut I merely roll another, and I doze and smoke and doze, Cause old Cactus in the springtime is hypnotic, goodness knows! —Denver Republican*