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Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, September 28, 1912, Image 1

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Mining fiSiii Journal.
Origin of the Ship Industry at the
Mouth of the Kennebec Which
Made Bath Famous for
Many Years.
Some 300 odd years ago Capt.
George Popham, on behalf of his
brother, Chief Justice John Popham,
and the Plymouth company, came
over the ocean with two ships, the
Gift of God and the Mary and John,
and made a settlement at the mouth
of the Kennebec river.
The little colony, after an edventur
ous voyage, had reached Monhegan
early in August, and, landing there,
held services on a Sunday. Ten days
later they landed in the Sagahadoc
harbor, as the mouth of the Kennebec
was called, and went ashore.
There on the sandy beach the little
pinnace Virginia was built that au
tumn, a notable achievement for so
small and so ill established a colony.
She was a sea-worthy ship, a proper
forerunner for the fine vessels that
have made the Kennebec famous. She
crossed the ocean several times and
brought colonists and stores to Amer
The colony at Port Popham aban
doned that post the next year and re
turned to England, but other settle
ments were soon made, and before the
Revolutionary war the ship builders
of the Maine coast had already achiev
ed a reputation.
Square rigged ships from Maine
ports and from none other more than
from Bath, which is the modern suc
cessor to Popham’s colony, bore the
American flag to all parts of the
world. When the great revival of ship
building came after the discovery of
gold in California more than 100 ships
were launched into the Kennebec in
a single year.
Bath has lost its pre-eminence in
shipbuilding in its 300 years. Only a
year or so ago the United States bat
tleship Georgia was launched with en
gines aboard and with her fires light
ed, the first launching in that condi
tion in the world.
Three hundred years ago the Kenne
bec was bordered with dense pine
woods, and the pinnace was built from
materials cut right at hand. Today
the materials for the steel ships are
brought a thousand miles, and the
masts for the schooners come round
the Horn or overland from Washing
ton. But the members of Popham’s
colony, by some strange fate, shaped
the destiny of three centuries of their
successors when they began shipbuild
ing on the shores of Sagadahoc.
To Factoryize the Farms.
That the tendency of the age is for
larger farms and better methods, with
a saving of cost by the use of modern
machinery, was the consensus of opin
ion expressed at the fifth annual meet
ing of the American Society of Agri
cultural Engineers at St. Paul.
“There is an increasing demand and
we must make room for the master
mind in the agricultural field. There
are 8,000 less farms in lowa this year
than last,” said Prof. J. M. Davidson
of the lowa State Agricultural college.
“An agricultural survey made in
Thompkins county, New York, showed
that the small farmer was at best only
making laborer’s wages and that the
larger farmer was making money. It
means that the farmers must put the
farm on a factory basis and quit
guessing at profit and loss.”
A colored elevator boy at Bretton
hall remarked proudly to one of the
guests whom he often encountered:
“I’m going to quit this job next
week and go in business for myself.
I’m going to run a restaurant."
“Is that so?” replied the guest.
“Now, that’s fine,” he went on.
“You’re ambitious.”
“Yes, I’m ambitious to eat.”- —Ex-
A New Ideal.
Mrs. Withers —I’m so glad, mother;
1 know John’s going to do better. He
must surely have been at the Rever
end Sadsmile’s revival last night.
Mother —What’s put that into your
Mrs. Withers —Why, after he came
to bed he kept talking in his sleep
about “that last trump” and his “mis
erable worthless heart” so anxiously
that I fairly cried for the poor fellow.
I’m so glad, mother.
Cold Method of Reasoning.
“You are rather difficult,” ventured
the impresario.
“Why not?” replied the prima don
na. “In this business you may suc
ceed with a good voice and a bad dis
position. But a bad voice and a good
disposition won’t get you anywhere at
Change In Plans.
Madge —I thought you and George
Were going skating.
Marjorie —So we were, but when he
saw I had my hat trimmed with mis
tletoe he asked me to go for a sleigh
Not Too Many Visits.
Mrs. Banks —Why do you have Dr
X for your physician instead of Dr. Y?
Miss Burke —Economy! Dr. X’s wife
is so jealous he has to get me cured
quickly in order to keep peace .in his
Handsome Knight Saved Her Life
and Wooed Her, but Suffragetting
and Women’s Societies Spoiled
the Love Story.
Turning the corner of the Rue de
Meringue rather abruptly, Anna’s
horse took fright at a woman’s hat.
He reared up on his hind legs and
plunged violently forward. Just at
that instant the saddle girth broke
and the horse reared and fell back.
It was a critical moment. Anna was
in imminent peril. Just as the rider
was about to be crushed under the
animal there was a clatter of hoofs
and a strong arm encircled Anna. She
felt herself drawn into safety. She
opened her eyes and there was the
strong masculine face of Lord Arthur
Athelstan, the handsomest man of
the oldest family in England.
Being in the arms #f Lord Arthur
was much nicer than being crushed
under the cruel and relentless back
of a horse. To be saved by Lord Ar
thur was a social triumph, too. It
was better than being presented to
the king or invited to one of Lady
Jane Nod Noodle’s affairs. Every
body would know who Anna McGon
nigal was now. And when Lord Ar
thus asked if he might call it was
certain that Anna would know every
body! Everybody!
Lord Arthur was evidently very
hard hit. It was certain. The beau
tiful girl he had held in his arms had
made a great impression on his lordly
Sir Knight Arthur was not a lag
gard in love and was most happy
when he obtained permission to call.
It was Anna’s brother who greeted
him, however, when he arrived at
Anna’s residence, and told him to
make himself thoroughly at home.
“She will be very sorry to miss
you,” said Anna’s brother. “I think
she’s out suffragetting this after
Lord Arthur left his card and
walked sorrowfully away. The next
day being bright and beautiful, Lord
Arthur thought he might meet her
riding in the park. She had been so
sorry to miss hfm that Lord Arthur
thought she might not object to a
casual meeting there. But luck was
against him. There was a meeting
for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Something or Other that day, and
Lord Arthur rode and rode, and final
ly rode home in the beautiful twi
light alone.
Then his regiment was ordered to
the Soudan. Lord Arthur made up
hfs mind to see her before he went,
away, and wrote her a pathetic note
of appeal, which Anna answered with
a beating heart, telling him to see her
by all means! That she must see
him before he went away to the war!
But the letter got mixed up in the
voluminous mail of Anna, and Lord
Arthur received only a note accept
ing the presidency of a society for
the promotion of universal peace. —
A Man-Factory.
The Self Master colony at Union,
N. J., is a mill that gets its grist from
gutters and levees and grinds from It
men who are independent and honest.
The method of the colony is to take a
man without asking him questions, to
put him on his feet by setting him at
some useful task, and by giving him
complete liberty and 50 cents a week.
The Self Master colony has room for
30 men at a time, and the accommo
dations always are crowded. Its strug
gle is a keen one, for the colony aims
to be self-supporting. It draws its
members from seven classes —the man
unable to find immediate employment,
the man in middle life who has lost
his business, the intemperate young
man trying to control himself, the
country boy stranded in the city, the
rich man’s son, wayward and estranged
from his family, the man discouraged
through domestic troubles, and the
man run down physically and mentally
and needing outdoor work. These are
the worth-saving, who, if no help is
offered them, drift down through the
strata of free lodging-house existence
into the mire of hobodom, criminality
and hopeless mendicancy.—Henry Car
ter in the World’s Work.
Greek Theater Is Not Greek.
Another architectural fallacy has
exploded. Prof. Charles Knapp of
Columbia university, who lectured be
fore the San Francisco Archaeological
society on the subject of “The Roman
Theater,” summoned the temerity to
declare before his audience that the
Greek theater at Berkeley isn’t a
Greek theater at all. Professor
Knapp even denied the structure the
right to claim to be Roman.
He claims that the well-known
scene of open air Sunday concerts is
a sort of hybrid, of Greek and Roman
styles of building, the like of which
has never before been erected in the
history of the world.
The ground upon which he denies
the Berkeley structure the right to
the term “Greek” is that its' stage is
too deep, too wide and too high.
Crafty Wooer.
“How did Smiggles win Mrs. Will
jums over to giving her consent to
his marrying her daughter?” asks the
young man with the large pipe.
- “Met the old lady in the dark hail
, way and kissed her, them apologized,
saying he was sure she was the daugh
ter,” explains the young man with the
excited socks. —Judge’s Library.
vVhere Man Merely Creeps by Logic,
Woman Leaps by Intuition at
Single Bound.
Some one has said:
“When a man has toiled step by
step up a flight of stairs he will he
sure to find a woman at the top, but
she may not be able to tell how she
got there.”
A man comes up to a conclusion by
the slow steps of delicate logic. In
stinctively the woman reaches it by a
single bound.
Therefore, should you contemplate
some important step without having
consulted your wife —don’t!
Her intuitive insight may be worth
more than your deliberate reasoning.
Especially is the normal average wo
man quick to see the right or wrong
involved in a proposition. She jumps
over subtle distinctions and evasive
phrasing and lands on the firm foot
ing of eternal righteousness.
Ethically every woman is a seer.
And especially clear are the eyes of
a wife in any matter involving the
welfare or the good name of her fam
Make your wife a close confidant in
all things, and the sequel will prove
her wisdom.
There was Victoria Colonna.
She is a strong character in the his
tory of her times. Her husband was
a friend of the great Charles V. At
one time her husband was offered the
crown of Naples if he would join the
league against Charles. The man was
strongly tempted. He referred the
matter to his wife. She bade him
spurn the proposal.
Not every wife would thus refuse to
be queen. But-
Most wives would!
Because the alliance contemplated
the base betrayal of a friend, and the
heart of a true woman Instinctively is
turned against such baseness.
Seek your wife’s advice. She Is your
best friend, your most competent and
wisest counselor.
The writer speaks from long exper
ience. Almost invariably he has made
a mistake when he failed to confer
with his wife or has proceeded con
trary to her advice.
A wife will help to clear away diffi
culties and suggest ways and means
that might not occur to the husband.
“Two heads are better than one,”
especially it one be a woman’s head.”
—Chattanooga Times.
Squirrels’ Team Work.
The members of an outing expedi
tion in New England while tenting in
a grove near a glen witnessed an in
cident that seemed to show a friendly
understanding among squirrels.
The 'members had just finished
their dinner, hut were still “at table”
when a squirrel with glistening, eager
eyes came creeping down a tree that
stood near. He crep nearer and near
er, and finally leaped upon the im
provised table.
Seeing that the woman who was
presiding at table extended him a
silent invitation to help himself to
what he might like, the little fellow
made bold to creep up to a loaf ot
bread from which only a slice or two
had been cut. He seized it and drag
ged it to the side of the table and
somehow managed to scramble down
the side with it to the ground. He
then fixed his teeth in the crust and
dragged it away and down the steep
sides of the glen.
But when he reached the bottom
and confronted the steep rise on the
other side it was too much for him
Then he gave a sort of call, which
seemed to be understood, for soon
squirrels were seen coming from sev
eral directions. They crowded around
him, and after a little conference all
took hold, and with tug and strain
they managed to bring the loaf to
the top of the hill and disappeared
with it in the woods beyond.
All the Same to Him.
When Gifford Pinchot and Miles
Poindexter were up in Alaska last
summer, they had a guide who was a
hearty eater. He ate all the time
he was cooking, continued to eat
while Pinchot and Poindexter were
at their meal, and would still be eat
ing long after the others had ceased
picking their teeth.
The guide was particularly fond of
grouse, which are moderately plentiful
in some parts of Alaska. Pinchot and
Poindexter would eat a grouse apiece,
but the guide would consume four or
five, with apparent relish. Senator
Poindexter felt that the thing to do
was to shoot more grouse and give
the guide his fill. They didn’t get
a shot at any grouse right away, but
Poindexter kept in practice by bring
ing down a couple of sea gulls. A
sea gull is about as delicate a morsel
as a turkey buzzard, or a harpy.
Later in the day Pinchot saw some
feathers scattered about the camp.
“What happened to those gulls?” he
“Oh,” replied the guide with a yawn,
“I got tired seein’ ’em around and 1
just e’t ’em.”
News for Mrs. Brown.
“Have you any letters for me?” in
quired old Mrs. Brown, bustling into
the village postoffice.
“No letters.” replied the postmaster.
“Dearie me,” said Mrs. Borwn, “I
was expecting a letter or a postcard
from my daughter Martha to say when
she was coming.”
Then the postmaster called to his
“Here’s Mrs. Brown wanting to
known if there’s a postcard from her
daughter Martha.”
“Yes, there is,” replied the post
master’s wife. “Martha’s coming next
? 1882 1912 S
j The Items Below Were Current During T
k Week Ending October 7, 1882. A
Philip Pindell reported seriously ill;
Mrs. A. M. Cackley rapidly improv
ing; Mrs. Louisa Ryan out again after
a severe illness, and A. A. Rogers, ill
two weeks, improving.
John L. Porter, regi.-V'ar for No. 11,
entered 776 names, and George H.
Arnold, No. 12, registered 530 names.
Maurice Miller, a prominent West
ernport citizen, died Monday, October
2, 1882, aged 40 years.
Hon. Thomas G. McCulloh was com
mended for ihstituting a number of
badly-needed improvements of Alle
gany cemetery.
At the democratic county conven
tion Tuesday, October 3, 1882, Messrs.
Alexander King and William E.
Weber, of Cumberland; J. B. Oder, of
Frostburg; Dr. J. B. Miller, of West
ernport, and George H. Arnold, of
Eckhart, were elected delegates to the
Congressional convention, and James
W. Wilson, of Rawlings; William O.
Sprigg and James A. McHenry, of
Cumberland, and John Ryan, of Lona
coning, delegates to the Judicial con
Republican mass meetings at all the
towns in the countj' during the week,
Hon. L. E. McComas, nominee for
Congress, speaking.
At the democratic judicial conven
tion in Cumberland Thursday, Octo
ber sth, Hon. R. H. Alvey, incumbent,
was nominated for Chief Judge, and
A. K. Syester for Associate, both of
The Arkansaw Traveler announced
that he “would ruther tell a lie to
cause pleasure dan te truth to cause
A Newspaper as the Business
Index of the Town.
A progressive paper very correctly
remarks that no business man in any
town should allow any newspaper pub
lished in his town to go without his
name and business somewhere in its
This applies to all kinds of business
—general stores, dry goods, groceries,
furniture dealers, grain dealers, me
chanics, professional men and in fact
all classes of business men.
This does not mean that you should
have a whole or even a quarter of a
page ad. in every issue of the paper,
but your name and business should be
mentioned if you do not use more than
one inch space.
A stranger picking up a newspaper
should be able to tell just what busi
ness is represented in a town by look
ing at the bueiness mentioned in the
The home paper should be a correct
directory or index to the town.
It is the best possible advertiser.
The man who does not advertise his
business does an injustice to himself
and his town.
He is the man who expects the'
newspaper to do the most free boost
ing for his town.
The man who insists on sharing the
business that comes to town but re
fuses to advertise his business is ex
pecting more than is justly due him.
The life of any town depends upon
the live, wide-awake and liberal ad
vertising business men Emmitts
burg (Md.) Chronicle.
In Western Maryland Hospital,
Cumberland, Friday, September 20,
1912, Mrs. Robert Hill, aged 48 years.
Her illness was very brief, and its
serious status developing Thursday,
she was carried next day to the hos
pital and died two hours later. Hus
band and large family of children be
reaved. The family home is on the
Conrad farm, not far from Sand
Spring. Funeral and interment,
largely attended, Sunday afternoon.
Dr. J. C. Holdsworth, of Midland,
spent this week in Washington, D. C.,
in attendance as a member of the
National Health Congress. The doc
tor is Health Officer of this county.
There and Here.
John Lutz, of Bedford, Pa., wrote
to the Philadelphia (Pa.) North-
American one day last week, com
plaining of that paper’s “long edi
Mr. Lutz said he had been “a re
publican editor for nearly forty years,
and in that time had found out that
the people are apt to skip long edi
torials, however good, and prefer
short,-snappy articles that go straight
to the point.”
Mr. Lutz, although apparently in
the hale enjoyment of nearly forty
years experience as an editor, dis
agrees with every single newspaper
sharp in Frostburg!
For here the expert notion is—give
us length, verbiage, repetition, slush,
especially slush!
The first “pay” since April was im
Peter Kelly, of Borden Shaft, and
C. M. Graham, of Walnut Level, sent
some big beets to the Journal.
Intelligence of a “quiet” wedding
got out. Accordingly, Miss Annie
Wasmuth and Mr. William E. Hart
man gratified a very large congrega
tion in Salem Reformed Church Sun
day evening, October 1, 1882, by walk
ing in and up the aisle to the altar,
where Rev. J. Ruhl made them one.
B. Stern, C. Hartman and Marx
Wineland—all gone east to buy goods.
William Wenk, 21 years old, died
Sunday, October 1, 1882.
Mrs. Eleanora Knode, wife of David
Knode, died Wednesday, October 4,
1882, aged 62 years.
Mrs. A. M. Ward, widow of William
Ward, died Friday, October 6, 1882, at
an advanced age, after a long illness.
William Pollock had his collar-bone
broken by a falling prop in Midlothian
mine Monday, October 2d.
At the parsonage of Salem Re
formed Church Thursday evening,
October 5, 1882, Miss Mary Gerlach
was married to Mr. F. F. Beauregard
Hamill, by Rev. J. Ruhl.
At Rawlings,.this county, Tuesday,
October 3, 1882, Miss Carrie Stotler,
daughter of Morgan Stotler, of that
place, was married to Rev. Frank G.
Porter, pastor of that circuit, Metho
dist Church.
The great comet attracted much at
tention throughout the country.
Newspapers vied with each other in
descriptions of its brilliance.
Summer Boarders.
“It is estimated,” says Gas Logic,
that the annual tourist and summer
boarder business of New England in
volves a total expenditure on the part
of vacationists of practically 100 mil
lion dollars.
“New Yorkers contribute a goodly
share of this money, which goes chief
ly into the pockets of resort-owners,
farmers who take summer-boarders,
railroads and steamship lines and
other persons and agencies which
cater to summer-time pleasure-seekers.
“Ten millions of dollars are left
every j T ear by summer tourists in
New Hampshire alone, according to
the Secretary of the Agricultural
Board of that State.
“Maine, Massachusetts and Con
necticut are even more popular with
recreation-seekers, and each un
doubtedly absorbs more money from
its vacation visitors than the Granite
“Vermont and Rhode Island also
attract vast numbers of tourists’ dol
lars each season.”
There is not a town in the United
States whose eligibilities better fit it
for a summer resort than Frostburg,
especially for those who come from
seaside residence.
Just as the mountaineer loves to go
from the land-summits to water-levels
for recreation, so for the same pur
pose does the lowland dweller love to
come on the heights.
But Frostburg has not the accom
Atlantic city has made ample pro
vision for entertainment of the in
landers and mountaineers.
The result is, for instance—Frost
burg spends in Atlantic city about 99
per cent, more than the sea-shore
spends here.
The sea-shore goes elsewhere, as
has been seen in the quotation from
Gas Logic, and Frostburg is, in fact,
paying a premium to other mountain
towns for being summer-resorts, in
stead of being a competitor for a por
tion of their rich trade.
There are other considerations, too,
which should inspire a movement in
this line of development, all strong
and convincing.
Passenger Trains.
Next Monday, 30th inst., the first pas
senger trains on the Western Mary
land extension will be run —two trains
daily, one in each direction, except
These trains will stop at all stations,
and for several months will afford the
only passenger service on the road.
The morning train will pass Frost
Westward 8 o’clock
Eastward 6:53 o’clock
This schedule will be maintained
until the through passenger service is
instituted, when, most probably, there
will be changes.
Frostburg will be within one hour of
Cumberland and four hours of Con
nellsville, at both of which places
close connections will be made with
fast trains east and west.
Yoke Oti Yohttsoa.
Ef yo bane listen leetla while, Aye
lak to tal to yo
A funny yoke on Sam Yohnson, vat
build te bungalo.
Yo see, en county Garrett ve yump all
round lak dekkens ;
Ve early bed to go, an’ oop git bafore
te chekkens.
Aye tank et ban Septober sax, en
nenteen hunderd twelve,
Ven des yar funny yoke happen to
Mester Sam hemselve.
“Philosopher,” Mester Yohnson say,
“yo skoll go report
To town an’ breng back to mae
somteng stronger tan ‘Oxport;’ —
So ven te boys lak leetla drenk—ven
te day’s vork bane done,
Aye veil haf bottla for tern—Aye tank
det bane 3 T olly fun !”
Hae gef mae dollar fufty cent to buy
som “Underholt”
From faller vat know mae bot naffer
haf on mae tolt.
Vel ten Aye luke ento te pasture,
catch an’ yump a colt,
An’ ride to Frostburg to find an’ buy
det old “Underholt.”
Faller sal mae bottla, bay yeminy !
Aye yump agen,
An’ tank Aye go back straight to
Mester Yohnson an’ hes men.
Bot ven Aye get above San’ Spreng
Aye tak von leetla drag,
An’ ten about fufteen more, an’ get
on a yolly yag !
Te colt yust carry mae back to te
pretty bungaloo,
An’ Mester Yohnson say—“ Aye skoll
not do a teng to yoo !”
Hae black may eye, break may yaw,
fergit his relig-i-an,
An’ ten, bay yeminy, hae call mae
“dam Norwe-gi-an!”
Bot det bane on Yohnson, as Aye
tal Unc. Tom an’ hem,
Aye naffer bane Norwegian ! Aye bane
dam Swede all te tem !
The Eckhakt Philosopher.
Eckhart, Md.
Credit To Whom Credit Is Due.
A recent report by George A. Rein
hard, Treasurer of this county, has
been quite generally copied through
out the State as a good example of
county financiering.
A year ago, according to his report,
a balance of $2,800 was turned over to
Against this, however, stood notes
in the sum of S6S,(XX), or a debt alto
gether of $170,000.
This sum has been paid, and there
is a cash balance of SBO,OOO in the
This is an excellent situation, due
to an Act of the last Eegislature,
passed at the instance of the present
Board of County Commissioners.
Under the preceding system it was
inconvenient for taxpayers to pay; the
paying period too late in the year, and
thus the county was compelled to in
cur needless expenses.
Now, there are three collectors, ac
cessible to the taxpayers at large,
and the time for payment is three
months earlier, so that the Commis
sioners have the money in hand just
when they need it!
It is a pleasant condition of affairs
and the Commissioners should be
commended for it.
A Problematic Egg.
A hen belonging to Thomas H. Mor
gan’s collection of poultry laid an egg
the other day resembling half of an
oblong circle.
There was quite a debate over it,
however, by customers in the store
when it was shown as a resemblance
of the new moon and held up on the
western side to prove it.
A man, however, who once went to
school in Bloomington, held it up on
the eastern side and claimed that it
looked much more to him like the moon
on its last quarter, and several miners
who go to work on the first shift
agreed with him.
' Issue was referred to Journal, but
owing to stand-point differences in
volving the necessity of making one
half the observations before day light,
the decision has so for been withheld.
Wobbler Seldom Succeed*.
“Success In life depends far more
upon decision of character than upon
the possession of what Is called gen
ius. The man who is perpetually hesi
tating as to which of two things he
will do, will do neither.”—William
Has Sometimes Worked Well.
Frequently there is more corrective
value in giving a few words of un
deserved praise than in hours of lec
turing and pleading. If your boy or
: girl is inclined to disregard your
wishes and your good advice try this
Uplifting Thoughts.
"A man can only rise, conquer, and
achieve by lifting up his thoughts.
: He can only remain weak, and abject,
i and miserable by refusing to lift up
; his thoughts.”—James Allen.
Mrs. Blunderby Talks.
Mrs. Blunderby (visiting)—Yes,
poor Jane, she recognizes no one.
. She’s been in a catamose condition
for two days. My dear, bring me a
j cup of tea, will you? I prefer Oblong,
I If you have it. —Boston Transcript
HENRY P. COOK, Manager
One Way of Expressing It.
As I sat in the shadows thinking of
the days gone by,
I thought of how wife and I strolled
together through the rye,
And of the grand old mountains ’round
F rostburg—by-and-by.
As I sat in the shadows thinking of
the days gone by—
Of J. B. O. and J. C. walking to the
street called “High,”
And I longed to be away back there in
the by-and-by.
As I sat in the shadows thinking of
the days gone by,
I thought—what’s the use longing
when two thousand miles awry ?
But still I am longing to be there with
you by-and-by.
As I sat in the shadows thinking of
the days gone by,
I thought of the great Journal and it’s
editor so spry,
And then I felt content, for it’s my
weekly by-and-by.
R. H. R.
In tlie Realm of Fraternity.
The Journal has received a pros
pectus of the tour that will be made
this week by the membership of Acca
Temple, Mystic Shriners of Richmond,
Va., to Harrisonburg, same State.
In giving preface notice of the tour.,
the Illustrious Potentate orders —
“Nobles will dress up in their Glad
Rags, including the Red Fez on their
heads, and the Red-and-White Card in
their hands. This latter is a sine qua
non, which means without which you
are not at all.
“Done and subscribed to in accord
ance with the laws of the Mystic
“Daniel Cullers O’Flaherty,
“Illustrious Potentate.
“I seen you when you done it.
“Charles A. NesbiT,
The Richmond News-Leader, of 17th
inst., also gives an outline of pros
pective proceedings as taken from the
message of the Royal Gazzip to the
ignorants of Emporia:
“This caravan will start with full
equipment, zem-zem and scimitars
sharpened to the finest edge, so none
may escape, to the oasis, where the
mighty duke of Mama lives, and pre
pare to show them the way to happi
ness, via the most gorgeous concatena
tion of anti-bilious circumstances.”
And so on.
The Illustrious Potentate is well and
affectionately remembered by many
Educational Systems.
“Look here,” said the father, “every
page of your book Is covered with fin
ger prints.” “It’s an accident,” re
plied the young student. “Well, it is
some relief to hear that. There have
been so many changes in handwriting
that I was afraid they had decided to
make a clean sweep and substitute
the Bertillon system.”
Today the Appointed Time.
“The future is an illusion; it nevei
arrives; it files before you as you ad
vance. Always it is today—and aftet
death and a thousand years it is to
day. You have great deeds to pen
form and you must do them now.”—•
Charles Ferguson.
“I shall leave footprints on the
sands of time,” said the idealist.
“What for?” asked the crudely prac 4
tical person. “Nobody will want to
go ’round looking for footprints. What
we want to do for posterity is the
help build some good roads.”
Worry Cause of Hypochondria.
The most common disease caused
by worry is hypochondria. Its victim
is the man or woman who worries
that he or she is going to be ill every
time he or she feels indisposed.
Physically they are strong and nor
mal, but they suffer from a mental
disease which is a variety of morbid
Importance of Self-Control.
"The ability to restrain
passions, tongue and temper, to bo
their master and not their slave —in a
word, absolute self-control —is also of
first importance. One who can not
govern himself is unfitted to govern
others.” —Marshall Field.
Worry as a National Error.
At the door of worry are laid 50 per
cent of the troubles of the American
people. Scientists who have devoted
themselves to a study of worry and
its influence on the mind, do not hesi
tate to say that Americans are the
worst offenders.
Ever-Present Call of Duty.
“In the measure in which thou
Beefiest to do thy duty shalt thou
' know what is in thee. But what is
, thy duty? The demand of the pres
ent hour.” —Goethe.
Buccess Matter of Will Power.
“Don’t flinch, flounder, fall over, nor
fiddle, but grapple like a man. A man
who wills it can go anywhere, and
do what he determines to do.”—John
Built Up Big Business.
The first jaunting oar was establish
ed in Ireland in 1815 by a Milanese,
, Carlo Blanconi, who settled in Dublin
, and drove every day to Caher and
back, charging two pence a mile; from
, this small beginning in 1837 he had
, | established sixty-seven conveyances,
1 drawn by nine hundred horses.

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