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"O, see!" he wrote, "the cat-kins Ions
Are dangling from the trees
The cit-nlp sprouts, and In the swamp,
The cat-tails greet the breeze.
"The dog-wood blooms, the dog-ban®
The dog-rose is well met
And in the woods, one now may see
The dog-toothed violet.
"The cat-bird calls, the cat-tie range
Upon the Cat-skills high
The cat-amount doth watch for prey
In yon cat-alpa nigh.
"The dog-star shines once more In heav'n—
Come, let us all be merry!
*Tis time to cease dog-matlc themes,
And seek the ripe dog-berry.
"The cat-erpillar feeds upon
Cat-awba vines beside
The roaring cat-aract that falls
Into the river wide."
'Twas after dog-days, that this bard
His dog-eared manuscript
Put by forever. Dog-gedly,
He crept into his crypt.
This cat-acomb catastrophe
Was caused by grim cat-arrh.
And cat-alepsy stopped the thoughts
Not catalogued thus far.
And so, the strangest form of verse
That ever I've heard tell
Is this the poet mad composed—
The cat—and dog-gerel!
—Blanche Elizabeth Wade, in Frank Les
lie's Popular Monthly.
HE was not an ordinary girl, of
that there could be no mistake.
SEe was not exactly pretty, although
her face was winning and sweet, but
she had away with her that was pure
ly original. Even her walk and the
turn of her head seemed different from
that of other girls.
"I don't understand her," said her
masculine friends. "I don't like her,"
declared the members of her own sex,
while the matrons of her clique put
their heads together and said that it
was a pity the girl had such odd little
ways, she was spoiling all her chances,
and that a woman with her ideas was
quite a failure' as far as matrimony
As for Hugh Dornay, he didn't know
exactly what to make of her. She fas
cinated him. When she was in the
room he was always by her side. He
walked with her, he talked to her, and
never glanced at another girl when
she was near, yet he never seemed able
to form a decided opinion of her.
One day he told her as much himself.
He had called on her and found her
alone. He confessed as they sa-t over
the tea table together that she was
altogether a puzzle to him.
"I can't make up my mind whether
I like you or not. Miss Withers," he
said. "You are such a changeable
"I am not sure whether that is alto
gether complimentary," returned the
girl, in a low voice. "I am a good deal
more positive in my regard for you."
"Yes." She looked away for a minute
and then brought her eyes quickly to
his face, a pink spot burning on each
cheek. "Yes, I love you."
The young man gasped and nearly
dropped the teacup he held, in his
amazement. Was there ever such a
startling confession? Of the two he
was far the more embarrassed.
"You are surprised," went on the
girl, hurriedly. "So was I. Love is al
ways a surprise. To me it seems a
kind of madness while it lasts, some
thing as uncontrollable as it is myste
rious. I have never felt like this for
any one before I cannot understand it
myself. You area very ordinary man,
not very wealthy, not very clever, not
at all good looking, and yet 1 love you.
It's all very wonderful, isn't it?"
The man stared at her dumbly, un
able to say a word.
The girl laughed musically.
"It's rather an unusual confession,
isn't it?" she said. "Rather unasked,
too but you needn't alarm yourself—
I don't want to marry you."
"You don't want to marry me?"
echoed the man in some confusion.
"No." The girl looked away, and her
eyes wanderd to the window with a
thoughtful, intent expression. "I al
ways liken love," she said, "to a stream
running between two very different
pieces of land connected by a bridge.
On the one side everything is bright
and green and sunny, on the other the
land is gray and barren. Love, the river,
runs on either side alike, but once the
bridge is crossed the current seems to
change. From the other bank the sun
shines across and makes it all seem so
attractive. We long to go and explore,
and when we do we find ourselves im
prisoned. The bridge we crossed has
gone it was only a bridge of illusion,
and there is no getting back to the
flowers and sunshine, however much
we strive. It's all very disappointing,
The young man recovered himself
and glanced admiringly across at the
serious little speaker. She was look-'
injj quite pretty the flush had deep
ened on her cheek and her eyes were
goft and moist with feeling. He for
got her strange confession, and for
the time was carried away by the pow
er of her fascination. A man, he
thought, with such a companion would
the sun across with him to that
MH "You let your imagination run away
with you, Joan," he said, softly, slip
5$,'ping unconsciously into her Christian
name. "Life is simple enough if you
V., only look it squarely in the face."
There was a pause the girl poured
herself out another cup of tea and sat
stirring it thoughtfully the man put
his down untasted' on the table,
if tea drinking was an occupation too
unromantic for the occasion. With A
sudden impulse he got up, and, cross
ing to her side, leaned kindly over
"And so you don't want to marry
me, Joan?" he said, almost reproach
The girl started, colored deeply, and
drew back from him.
"No! No!" she said. "Even if you
loved me ever so much, I would not
marry you. It would be terrible—ter
rible to think that you would grow
gradually indifferent to me, and to
know that having taken the step there
was no drawing back and yet—" she
paused painfully—" I am miserable, I
love you so. I want you near me al
ways—I want you always."
She broke down with something like
a sob and buried her face in her hands.
The man looked at her helplessly for
a moment, and then, kneeling at her
side, drew her hands gently down.
"Joan," he said, "you dear, romantic
little soul, look at me."
Joan obeyed with swimming eyes.
"Now put these sentimental ideas on
one side. You and I, Joan, are going to
be a practical couple. We are not go
ing to expect such a great deal of the
other side of the river you spoke of,
and then we shall not be disappointed.
Joan, you must marry me."
The girl drew herself away from his
arms and shook her head vehemently.
"Don't ask me, pray—pray don't ask
me!" she cried. "You don't love me,
you know you don't and even if you
cared for me as earnestly as I care for
you, it would only be worse still. I
should only have the more to lose.
No," she turned and faced him eager
ly, "you must cure me—disillusion me.
Let me see that it is only an infatua
tion—that you are only an ordinary
man, after all."
"I could easily do that," said the
young man, soberly "but I doubt
whether you would listen. Love, little
girl, always idealizes. You look at me
through rosy-colored spectacles and
magnify my virtues and overlook my
faults. Whatever I do now, and what
ever I have done in the past, would
be excused in your eyes."
"No! no!" said the girl. "Indeed, I
will listen. Dear Hugh, I want to be
But the young man only shook his
"Even if you listened you would not
believe," he said, gently. "Now, listen,
Joan. I am going to suggest a rem
edy, a seldom-failing remedy, and that
is time. I am going away from you for
six months. At the end of that time,
dear, you will laugh at yourself, at
your folly, or my name is not Hugh
Dornay. Shall we do as I say?"
"For six long months!" echoed the
girl, with a paling face. "It's a terrible
remedy but, yes, I will try it."
They had met again, not in her little
drawing-room as before, but in the
country lanes, where the light sum
mer breeze frolicked with the hay and
"AND SO YOU DON'T WANT TO
MARRY MB, JOAN?"
carried it away, mingling it with the
scent of the honeysuckle. The six
months had barely gone, and there
tliey were again, face to face.
The girl hung her head, and the color
rushed into her face as the young man
sprang forward and caught her hand
in his with every expression of de
"Well, Joan," he said, in a voice which
trembled with a strange emotion, "and
are you disillusioned?"
He waited anxiously for the reply
which never came, and, bending down,
read the answer in her eyes.
"No, dear Joan? Well, I am glad,
for I have just thought of another
remedy which we must try together.
Joan, I have caught your complaint—
I want to be disillusioned, too."
The girl looked up with the pent-up
love of six months in her eyes.
"How?" she whispered, softly.
"I thought we would cross that
bridge of illusion together, hand in
hand," he said. "Whatever disappoint
ments there may be in store for us we
will share. Joan, my dear little Joan,
I love you. Will you? It is the only
The girl raised her face trustfully,
yet a little wistfully, to his.
"Yes," she echoed, quickly "it is the
only way."—N. Y. Weekly.
From Booaler to HncEster.
At the opening performance of
"Beaucaire" its author, Booth Tnck
ington, was pointed out to a certain
lady of Malaprop tendencies as the
"famous Hoosier novelist."
"Why Hoosier?" she asked.
"That's what they call a gentleman
from Indiana," was the reply.
A few evenings later, on being intro
duced to Mr. Tarkington at a recep
tion, this Mrs. Malaprop enthusiastic
ally exclaimed, in an effort tc* be
genial: "So you are the famous huck
ster!"—N. 0. Times.
Qualified. Blzzor "Upon what
does Flasher base his claims of being
a society man?" Buzzer—"He's had
gout and appendicitis."—Ohio State
London Density.—Wigg—"The pop
ulation in London is very dense, isn't
it?" Wagg—"Dense is no name for
it. They couldn't understand my
jokes at all."—Philadelphia Becord.
Wife—"Well, dear, if I've made you
angry I can only say that I am very
sorry."' Husband—"H'm!" Wife—
"Sorry, I mean, that you have such
a bad temper."—London Tit-Bits.
"Didn't you promise me not to do
it again?" "Yes, sir." "Well, didn't
I promise to whip you if you did?"
"Yes, sir but as I didn't keep my
promise, I won't hold you to yours."
Not a Real Exchange.—"Did you see
those two women exchange looks?"
"Y-yes but, somehow, that dark one
in red is still the better looking."—
silk hat?" "Your silk hat? Oh, yes,
Qeorgie took it to put on the snow
man he made." "The thunder he did!"
"Yes, isn't it nice that he can enter
tain himself so easily?"—Cleveland
"Mike," said Plodding Pete, "did
you know dat we had been suspected
of stealin* chickens?" "Dat goes to
show how unjust dis world is!" "De
idea of you or me goin* to all de
work of pickin' de feathers off a
chicken, an' startin' a fire an' cookin*
it, when we could get everything
ready an4 proper, jes' by makin' a
quiet wisit to any kitchen!"—Wash
Qaeer Notions That Prevail Among
the Members of New Jersey
The efficiency of the fire department
in many suburban cities near by has
been often proved, and was notably
exemplified at the Paterson fire, at the
recent big fire, says a report from
that city. Several towns near Pater
son were quick to send aid, but if one
prominent Jersey place sent its fire
department the chances are that the
ladder and hose have not reached Pat
The fire department of this partic
ular town—it proudly calls itself a
city now—distinguished itself at a re
cent blaze. One of the finest houses in
the place, a large stone building,
caught fire one morning about ten
o'clock. The owner, a New York busi
ness man, was notified by telephone,
and hurried home as fast as he could,
considering the town's non^ too ac
commodating train facilities.
When he reached his home he saw
the town's fire apparatus on his lawn,
accompanied by the members of the
fire company. In the third floor from
the window the suburbanite saw a
man's face and shoulders. It was his
coachman. The man was yelling loud
and long, but not from fear. He had
been trying for an hour to get the
firemen to bring the fire hose into the
house, where they could get at the
flames. They told him that it was too
dangerous that they were supersti
tious about going into burning stone
houses. Finally, to shame them, he
had gone up through the house, and
stuck his head from the window. But
it was of no avail. The firemen would
only pour water in the windows, ru
ining many a beautiful piece of fur
niture that might have as well been
saved. The firemen did one laudable
thing—they sent for a hose from a
town about three miles away. The
hose arrived later in the day. Those
who answered the call put the hose
on an ice wagon that happened to be
going in the right direction. The
driver delivered ice as he drove along
his weary way. The hose was the last
thing delivered, and the hour was
somewhat late but the urgent call
HE WAS MARRIED IN HASTE.
Case of a Canadian Immigrant Who
for Alacrity and Precision Is
Entitled to the Wreathe.
There are on record many instances
of hasty marriages, but as far as heard
from a Canadian immigrant holds the
prize. He tells the story of his court
ship himself, says the Chicago Herald.
"When I arrived at the boarding house
in Newcastle, N. B.," he says, "I found
myself sitting next to a young woman
at supper, whom I soon found was one
of the newly-arrived immigrants. I
looked her over and saw a round,
strong, cheery lass with a laughing
face, and thought she'd do. I did not
know how to go' about getting her in
terested in me, but just spoke a word
or two with her and when we came out
into the passage I squeezed her hand
and gave her a kiss.
"Says she: 'How dare yon Says I:
'I want to marry you, my dear.' 'Marry
me?' she says, laughing, "why I don't
know you.' 'No more do I you, my
dear,' says I, 'so that makes it all fair
and even.' She didn't know how to put
a stopper on that, so she only laughed
and said she would think of it. 'Not
think of it,' says I, artful like, 'not
when you'vfe come all those thousands
of miles for' the purpose?'
'What do you mean?' says she,
starting. 'Come, now,' says I. 'Don't
tell me. I know what's what. When a
man emigrates it's to get work when
a woman emigrates it's to get married.
You may as well admit it at once.'
"Well, she protested, and held oft a
bit, but we were married two days
after, and I guess neither of us have
been sorry for it since. You see, it w&s
my knowing the ways of the sex so
well that enabled me to rush things
through as I did. Nothing like under
standing 'em when it comes to court
ship—saves time and trouble no end."
When Do Swine Make the Cheapest
Gains, In the First Season or
St Mature Agref
It is now pretty generally under
stood that sheep and cattle make
gains the most cheaply near the
birth period, and also the most rap
idly. This is owing to the greater
activity of the secretions when an
imals are young. But this explana
tion does not so well apply to the
case of swine. After several years of
experimenting at the Minnesota ex
periment station, it has been ascer
tained that pigs do not gain nearly
so rapidly when they are young as
when of more mature age. When
they were on the sow it was found
difficult to make them gain a pound
a day. After weaning for two or
three months they seldom made more
than one-half pound per day, but aft
er say five or six months for the next
two or three months they gained well
on to two pounds per day." Thus it has
been shown in several instances, that
tetween the ages of five and eight
months pigs have made the most
rapid increase in weight. The exper
iments referre'd to were not made
with a view to test this question, but
these results came out incidentally
in a large number of tests. As a re
sult of the casual manner in which
these conclusions were reached, the
relative cost of the gains cannot be
given, but it is probable those made
near the birth period were the least
mostly, owing to the small amount
relatively of the food consumed.
This is a great question. It ought
to be further investigated. The ex
perienc referred to calls up the
thought that it may be possible to
market pork too young to bring the
grower the greatest profit, even
when swine are sold as young as six
or seven months, the popular age at
which to sell. These results in swine
growing, so different from those ob
tained in growing cattle and sheep,
are well worthy of the closest study.
HANDY MANURE BOX.
0jr its Aid the Stnble and Its Sur
rounding" Can He Kept Always
Neat and Clean.
A very handy manure box and how
to make it is shown herewith. The
tapper figure is a side view the lower
|hows the box as seen from above,
is very easily constructed, is eight
set long, 16 inches wide, 16 inches
ep and shaped like a flat boat. At
:h end are handles used in unload
ing. It is very convenient, standing
near the stable door whetfe the
manure is thrown into it when the
stable is cleaned in the morning. A
MANURE CARRIER AND DUMP,
team is hitched to it when full and
it is hauled to the dumping pile and
turned over. By its aid the stable
and its surroundings are kept neat
and clean. In the lower figure, at
b, are the handles used in turn
ing and righting it. A long clevis
runs from the bottom up over the
end and to this the horse is at
tached.—C. A. Allen, in Farm and
When to Slaughter a Plar.
When to slaughter a pig must de
pend on what we have to feed him, and
the price at which feed is selling in the
market. The price of pork also cuts
some figure, but not so much as the
price of feed. For instance, this year
in some localities pig feed is so high
in price that every pound of additional
weight put on costs ten cents, which is
far 'above the highest market price
possible. Where the hog raiser lives
near a creamery and can get skim
milk at a low figure, or near a cheese
factory and can get whey for prac
tically nothing, it often pays to keep
the pigs till they are of good size, even
when other feeds are high. This year
good many pigs are being got rid
of as soon as they attain a weight of
150 pounds.—Farmers' Review.
Treating Bloat In Sheep.
The trouble of hooven or bloat in
sheep, caused by various gaseous foods
being taken into the stomach, such as
green clover, alfalfa, etc., is easily re
lieved by tying a round stick back in
the mouth. This is done by taking a
piece of an old broom handle or other
round stick of about that size. The
stick should be eight or ten inches
long, cut grooves around the stick near
each end and tie at these places a
string which can be tied back of the
head, when the stick is put in the
month. This arrangement forces the
mouth to remain open. The gas will
quickly escape and the animal will be
relieved. This treatment is as ap
plicable for the cow as for the sheep,
but a larger stick is required for the
Sure Source of Revenue.
The poultry industry is fast becom
ing a most important one in this coun
try, and its future development will
depend largely upon the attitude of the
average farmer towards it. If he had
taken hold of the matter as he should,
and as he has ample opportunity for
doing, there is no question that our
dressed poultry and egg trade can be
made one of the chief sources of rev
enue to the farmer.—Cotton Planters'
THE USEFUL ANGORA.
Ills Mlaalon la to Supply Mohair for
the Manufacture of Delicate
Unlike that of the Belgian hare, the
Angora goat business cannot be
called a fad, for the reason that the
animal in question is, and has been
for long, long years, an animal of
utility, and will continue to be an an
imal of utility just as long as mohair
is imported into this country or ex
ported from it, as it is most assured
ly bound to be some day, says Shep
herd Boy in Wool Markets and Sheep.
As a meat-producing animal he will
no doubt take his stand with cattle,
sheep and hogs in feeding the ever
growing meat-eating population of
the world, but he is never intended
or destined to kill either the beef,
mutton or pork trade of this or any
other country. When venison is
scarcer, and, consequently, dearer,
BUCK PASHA COLUMBIA.
than it is to-day, Angora meat will
take its place and give to both the
rich and poor epicure a taste of
meat which, to the writer, is indis
tinguishable from that of the deer.
The Angora is not destined to kill
the wool industry of the world, for
the warmth of the sheep's fleece will
be always sought by all manner of
people in the temperate and frigid
zones. His mission is to supply mo
hair for the manufacturing of deli
cate fabrics and to clear the brush
from off large and small tracts of land
extending more or less from Maine to
At the second annual sale .of An
gora goats recently held at Kansas
City, the Champion buck of the
show was bought for the record
breaking price of $1,050. He .is a
notably fine animal, and experts con
sider that he is worth the price.
TALK ABOUT HORSES.
Raisin# of High-Class Stock Depends
Largely on Climate and Geolog
Those states which havp rolling
lands, with large amounts of lime
stone in their soils, with short, sweet
grasses and pure water, are the ones
which have 'led in the production of
high class horses. The Morgan fam
ily was a natural product of Ver
mont, and the sound feet, clean bone,
and excellent lungs were the sure
result of the natural conditions un
der which this family of the horse
were raised. It required good feet
to travel over the hard stony soil,
and good lungs to travel all day up
and down these steep hills. These
conditions eliminated all animals of
too great weight, with sofc bone, or
poor feet, and oy the law of natural
selection they became extinct in that
state througn discrimination against
them in breeding and exportation.
It is the same with the American
trotter and the thoroughbred. New
York and Kentucky have been rec
ognized as the natural home of the
trotter, an.d Kentucky and Tennessee
as that of the thoroughbred. Nat
ural conditions had more to do with
this than the enterprise of breeders,
for as much enterprise can be found
among breeds in other states. We
should never select horses raised on
flat lowlands, even if they had great
er growth and weight than those
raised under the conditions referred
to aboye. Horses raised on corn land
in the prairie states, and fed largely
on corn, may show well in the ring,
but they will never have the stam
ina and usefulness, either, for work
or in the stud, as those on lime
stone soils, with biue grass pastures
and oats as their usual food.—Mich
Good Horses for Farmers.
of our American
farmers do not take more pride and
interest in nice teams and horses is
mystery to me, says a well-known
writer. We have plenty of good feed
and plenty of good stallions and all
that is lacking is an eye for beauty
and a hand to mold it. I do not like
mixed breeding. If a man wants to
raise a horse or team of horses let him
first select a good sound brood mare
of the type he wants to breed. Let
lier be sound and suitable or she is
not fit to breed from. Then a sire
should be selected. It should be one
of the same type as the brood mare,
and if one is deficient in any point the
other must be double in quality cor
Trying to Corral Nitrogen.
The scientists, for the nourishment
of plant life, have tried to get nitro
gen in a form easily assimilable as
plant food from the atmosphere at a
very cheap rate, and employ it for
TTialting the soil more fertile. Now, it
reported from Paris that Prof. Le
Bon, the well-known scientist, has
made a discovery, which is expected to
revolutionize the chemical science of
the wprld. By a new method of resolv
ing water into its component parts, he
claims to be able to procure indefinite
quantities of hydrogen and oxygen at
an insignificant expense, while the
very process itself creates an energy,
which can be substituted for oxidotioa
of zinc in making electricity.
Coal In China.
The greatest coal field of the Old world il
that of northern China. Although not yet
known as to its limitaand quality, it is con
sidered better than all the others put ,to
gether. This same statement alio can
truthfully made in regard to the merits ol
Hostetter's Stomaoh Bitters, it being thi
best medicine in the world for indigestion
dyspepsia, nervousness, insomnia, aad ma
laria, fever and ague. A trial will convma
you of its value.
The Way of a Man.
Mrs. Crawford—Has your husband made
anv preparations for Lent?
Airs. Crabshaw—Yes. He got a case of
boneless codfish for me and a dispensation
MISS VlliGjHIt BRAKES
Tells How Hospital* Physicians
Use and Rely upon Lydia E.
DEAR MRS. PINKIIAM Twelve
years continuous service at the sick
bed in some of our prominent hospi
tals, as well as at private homes, has
given me varied experiences with tha
diseases of women. I have nursed soma
MISS VIRGINIA GRANES,
President of N urses'Association,Watertown^N.T.
most distressing cases of inflammation
and ulceration of the ovaries and womb.
I have known that doctors used
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound has stood the test of
time* and has cured thousands.
Sirs. Pinkham advises sick wo*
men free. Address, Lynn, Mass*
"I don't quite know what the lady
meant," says an elderly physician, "but
whatever it was, she meant it hard. She
came to my office last Tuesday, and after
considering her case I wrote a prescription,
which was to be put up in capsules of very,
large size. I explained the why and where
fore of this to her, and asked her if she could
•wallow anything ao big. She looked at me
in an acidulous way.
'Swallow it!' she said. 'Why. my hus
band belongs to two whist clubs and more
lodges than you could count. Swallow it!
Humph! I reckon I haven't been married
ten years without learning to swallow big
ger things than that.' "—Washington Post.
Earliest Russian Millet.
Will you be short of hay? If so plant a
plenty of this prodigally prolific millet
5 TO 8 TONS OF RICH MAT FEB ACRE.
Price50 lbs. 1.90 100lbs. 43.00,low freight!
John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis.
She—Don't you think spring is a sweet
He—Well, it might be, if it were not for
the early onions.—Yonkers Statesman.
Stopa the Conffh and Worlcs OH
Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. Price 25c.
Miss Elderbody—"This picture of me was
taken when I was a young woman." Tiddli
winks—"Why, you haven't changed a par
ticle,- have you?"—Boston Transcript.
I am sure Piso's Cure for Consumption
saved my life three years ago.—Mrs. Thos.
Robbing, Maple Street, Norwich, N. Y.,
Feb. 17. 1900.
The only kind of people who win are the
ones w)Jo do it by.
If yon want to be cured of a cough use
Hale Honey of Horehound and Tar.
Pike's Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
Abort 143,000,000 pounds of candy are pro
duced eTery year in France.
PUT? AM FADELESS BYTES are the
brighter t, fastest and easiest to use.
Every man over-estimates the value of his
Eminent men of every country, Bke Gen
Ingalls, late Quartermaster-Gereral
United States Army Hon. Bllla Flint, Life
Senator Canadian Parliament Dr. Richard
Oberlaender. Leipzig, Germany, have publicly
proclaimed the magical powers of ST. JACOBS
OIL, the great conqueror
of pain. This remedy
Is a sure cure for RHEUMATISM, NEU
RALGIA, LUMBAGO. HEADACHE,
BACKACHE, TOOTHACHE, also
SPRAINS. BRUISES. BURNS. SCALDS
and all other painful ailments, it never faila.
Sold in 25tf and 50c Blzf 1.
ACTS LIKE MAGIC.
ESTABLISHED 50 "T EARS.
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
when everything else failed
with their patients. I have advised my
patients and friends to use it and havo
yet to hear of its first failure to cure.
Four years ago I had falling of the
womb from straining in lifting a heavy
patient, and knowing of the value of
your Compound I began to use it at
once, and in six weeks I was well once
more, and have had no trouble since.
I am most pleased to have had an oppor
tunity to say a few words in praise of
your Vegetable Compound, and shall
take every occasion to recommend it."—
Miss VIRGINIA GBANES.—$5000 forfait if
above testimonial Is not genuine.