The Worthington advance. [volume], May 10, 1907, Image 2

About The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908

Image provided by: Minnesota Historical Society; Saint Paul, MN

                
WORTHINGTON ADVANCE
PUBLISHED BVERY FRIDAY.
THOS. DOVEKV, PUBLISHER.
Iowa bas formed a Foraker Associ­
ation. TLat what comes of Shaw's
going to New York and taking apart­
ments on tho eighth floor.
Judging by the number of druuk
en men reported on the btreets last
Sunday there is something wrong
with the Prohibition machine.
In order to express different degrees
of anew but not yet popular malady,
we shall have to speak of brain-s'orm,
brain-burricaue, brain-cyclone anil
possibly
brni'i-blizzard.
Word comes from Cuba that she
cannot find 12,000 idle men to form a
standing army. Perhays the job looks
too much like work to the average
Cuban.
Some one ought to suggest to Mr.
Carnegie that by this time those 20,
000,0C0 starving Russians ought to
be in the mood to appreciate a well
stocked library.
A Kansan asserts that he has seen
a rat with horns. They do say that
blind tiger liquor is the worst ever,
but the worst thing so far revealed to
Worthington eecond-sight seers is a
blind porker.
A statement has just been issued
by the Treasury Department showing
that the per capita circulation of the
country is $34.16, the largest on rec­
ord. The highest previous record
was in February last when it amount­
ed to $33.96. This is on a population
basis of 85,886,000.
A peculiarity about the present po­
litical situation is the large number
of Republican candidates for the
Presidency and the small number of
Democratic candidates. Taft's friends
in Ohio seem to be making the most
energetic campaign and his name
seems to be looming up as the most
prominent candidate to date. How­
ever, Fairbanks is quietly working in
the west and saying little but no
doubt "sawing wood." Gov. Hughes
of New York, is said to have a strong
idea that his state should have the
honor and naturally thinks he is the
most "available man." Speaker Can­
non is also rather hopeful that the
"Old Boys'' of the convention might
stampede to him. And then there
are others, too, lots of them. But it
seems that the honors will fall among
the foregoing. Meanwhile Miss Dem­
ocracy seems to accept Bryan as its
foremost leader and spokesman and
the one best bet is that he will again
be the party's Btandand bearer.
Not long ago a farmer in Iowa went
to a harness dealer to buy a team har­
ness. He found one that suited him,
the price being $45.00. The farmer
happened to remember that about a
dozen years ago he bad bought a har­
ness just like it from the same dealer
for $35.00 and he mentioned the fact.
The dealer went to his books and
iound it was true. "But." said the
dealer, "my books show that you did
not pay cash for it, because you
did'nt have the money. You hauled
in 300 bushels of corn and gave it to
me for the $35.00 harness. Now I
will tell you what I will do. If you
are willing to bring me 300 bushels
of corn I will give you the $45.00 har­
ness, aho a double buggy harness
worth $35.00, a single buggy harness
worth $15.00, a plush robe worth $7,
a boy's riding saddle worth $5.00, one
pair of wool blankets worth $7.00,one
whip and riding bridle worth $1.50,
two leather halters worth $2.50, brush
and curry comb worth $1.00, and a
rawhide whip worth $1.00."—Mason,
(la.) Journal.
While there is no immediate pros­
pect of tariff changes, and in the na­
ture of things cannot be before Con­
gress reassembles, there is a great
•deal of interest the matter both in
the Treasury Department and at the
State Department owing to the action
of France in threatening to enforce
the maximum tariff against this coun­
try, and the announcement of Ex
Premier Balfour coming out unre­
servedly in favor of a British protec­
tive tariff. The situation with France
is the more pressing of the two.
France was a party to the new Ger­
man treaty, and in common with six
other European countries made a
special arrangement in virtue of
which they were to accord each oth­
er the "most favored nation" treat­
ment, and this meant that other
-countries including the United States,
would be cut out of such treatment
4M soon as their treaties expired. Now
France is our thiid largt st customer,
the two leading ones being Great
Britain and Germany, so that while
the maximum tariff would nut mean
shutting us out of all trade with
France and Germany, it would ser­
iously reduce the volume of tradeaud
iullict trouble that this country
could ill'afford. The threat of France
has been to enforce the maximum du­
ties in the cnse of cottou and cotton­
seed oil, and exclude American mea's
altogether unless they have a gov
ment certificate of mictoscopic in­
spection. These three articles are
the articles of largest trade between
this country aud France, aud their
reduction under the new tariff ar
laugtmeut would meao great loss to
the pliinteis of the South and the cat
tie rai»eis all over the country. We
have just escaped a trade wai with
Germany by sending a commission of
tariff experts to that country and fix­
ing up an agreement undei which
trade between the two nations will
continue for another year till Con­
gress has a chance to make a definite
treaty arrangement. France is now
demanding the same thing, and ne­
gotiations are progressing between
Secretary Root and Ambassador Jus
serand that probably will result in
sending a similar commission to
France. The announcement from
Great Britain is not taken so serious­
ly by officials. It is known, of course,
that there is no tariff in Great Brit­
ain. She is the only one of the great
civilized powers that has free trade,
aud she is the best customer of the
United States in the markets of the
world.
Suggestions for R. F. D. Patrons.
You will be doing your carrier a
great favor if you always stamp your
mail before putting same in the box,
or use government stamped envel­
opes. and always put return upon
left hand corner. This will guaran­
tee delivery or return of letter.
If you should not have stamps or
stamped envelopes, wrap the amount
up in paper, remembering that
cold weather, if the money is put in
the box loose, the carrier has to take
take off his gloves or mittens to get
hold of these loose pennies.
Always put stamp upon the upper
right hand corner. If you should
spoil a government stamped envelope
your carrier or postmaster will re­
deem it with stamps or postal cards.
When addressing a letter to one
who is not a regular patron of a rural
route or postofEbe, you should mark
on the envelope in wbose care the
letter or package should go.
In addressing your letter do not
write above the middle of the envel
ope, as the address may be blurred
by being struck with the post mark­
ing stamp.
In regard to boxes help your car­
rier by having a good one in a good
easy place to drive up to, and always
have your mail ready.
If you have visitors who are ex­
pecting mail, you should give the
carrier their names.
Any mail matter deposited in mail
box is subject to ordinary postage.
Packages should be well wrapped
and securely tied, and all valuable
letters and packages should be regis­
tered, which costs 8 cents in additiou
to regular postage. This insures safe
delivery and return receipt.
The mail boxes are protected by
the government, and any one tamper­
ing with them not interested should
be reported at once to your carrier or
postmaster.
BANKERS AT PIPESTONE
The Program Which Was .Render­
ed There Wednesday.
The following is the program that
was rendered at Pipestone Wed tea*
day on the occasion of the banktn
meeting.
Address of welcome, Mayor W. ZZ
Buck.
"Insuprance of Bank Deposits"-
A. W. Quinn, Jackson National Bank,
Jackson.
"Reserves: Primary and Secondary"
—J. A. Latta, Swedish-American Nat­
ional Bank, Minneapolis.
"How to Make More Business in
the Community"—W. A. Streater,Far­
ibault County State Bank, Winne­
bago.
"Banking Outside the Counter"—
A. J. Daley, Attorney at Law, Lu
verne.
"The Banker's Place in the Com
munity"—Andrew J. Eckstein, Presi­
dent State Bank of New Ulm.
"Collateral"—T. A. Black, Security
National Bank, Sioux City.
Round Table in charge of C. T.
Tupper, Citizens National Bank,
Worthington.
Report of Committees.
Election of officers.
A banquet was held in the evening.
UNCLE BY"
Violets.
'Twas only a bunch of blue violets
She wore on her jeweled breast.
That carried mo back to the pure-heart
days,
To days that I love the best.
'Twas only a bunch of blue violets,
A scent and a flash of hue
I passed in the temple of romping mirth
Where gods of our pleasure brew!
It took me away to the tangled paths,
To skies ot" a turquoise blue,
It carried me back to the rustic bridge,
To memory days—and you!
'Twas only a world of blue violets,
A world of the simpler love.
But never affection so holy, dear,
Was born of the God above!
Oh, never affection so holy, dear.
And never was maid more true,
Than back in the world of the violets
With you, O, my love, with you!
The ciav that you gave me your love,
dear,
Along with a bunch of blue,
Is light to my feet on the rock-strewn
paths
That lead to the end—and you.
'Tis only a bunch of dry violets
All wet with the dew of tears,
'Tis only a memory token, dear,
A ghost of the other years.
'Tis only the soul of the magic grail
That opens the skies of blue
And leads me away to the world above,
To you, O, my love, to you!
Idlewild Fancies.
The smart man knows when to quit,
but the money maker, never.
Conscience is always a respecter of
big profits.
A stenographer seldom takes dicta­
tion after she is married.
People who run away from trouble
should beware of the forty-horse auto­
mobile charging around the corner.
The under dog in a fight usually
gets plenty of sympathy, but sympathy
does not keep him from getting his
ear chewed.
It is hard to lead a clean life In a
dirty shirt.
If some men could live their lives
over again, they would be better
dodgers.
A woman's age Is like ribbon at a
bargain sale—marked down to in­
crease the demand.
A famous woman usually makes a
good press agent of her husband.
It is easier to pay a sweetheart com­
pliments than a wife's bills.
There is no elevator up the ladder
of fame.
A graft should never leave Its foot­
prints in the snow.
Love is blind—and that helps some!
A letter from your church will not
be considered the best evidence by
St Peter.
Some men are good to their wives
because they know they never could
fool another nice girl.
There are people who dare not shoot
folly as it files for fear of committing
suicide.
It must be a sad thought to some
mall order patrons to think that they
cannot escape being burled by a home
undertaker.
Some Chicken Dope.
A city man went to the country to live
And fed to his chickens red peppers.
"If ginger Is good I am sure that these
hens
Will all of them be nice, high steppers!
A high stepping hen will soon tire her­
self out
And, weary, will skip to the hay—
There's nothing like working a hen till
she's tired,
To make her go off on a lay!"
A self-made man would be a nice
fellow If he would quit telling us how
he did It.
No one but a foolishly impertinent
person would ask a wild hyena why
it laughs.
No, dear, a coughing horse is not an
automobile horse. It only seems like
one.
A Texas man has 497 skulls beside
the one over which he parts his own
hair. It's the greatest skullery in
Texas although the man can't cook a
flapjack in it.
Effadora J. Faulkner, of Portland,
Me., Is suing Louis Sulkowitch for
|1,500 damages, alleging that he
kissed her against her protest, "mean­
while putting both arms around her
waist."
When Willie's aunt came to visit
them, he surprised the folks at din­
ner by warning her against using the
red pepper, "because red pepper kills
ants."
Etiquette.
A saucy maid went skating on the lake
And fell "keplunk!" before a man!
How nice!
He helped her up and kissed her rosy
lips—
Tou could not blame the man—she
broke the ice!
The Submissive Mr. Fox.
George Fox of the Minneapolis and
Northern is the fond and anxious
sponsor of a particularly large and
blushing boil, which has blossomed
forth just south of his left ear. The
possession of this delightful pet lends
to its owner a deliberation of move­
ment and gravity of countenance
which become him very well.—Mich­
igan (N. D.) Arena.
Her Failing.
The moon Isn't made of green cheese
If It were, I would lose my wife soon.
She would get a divorce and be happy
for aye,
Eating cheese with the man In the
moon!
NEWS MIIESOTA
Happenings of a Week Through*
out the Stale.
O. M. Hall of Red Wing gets the six
year term on the state tax commis­
sion Samuel Lord of Kasson gets the
four-year term and Franklin McVey of
Minneapolis gets the two-year-term.
The three recently appointed commis­
sioners met in Governor Johnson's
office and organized. They drew
straws to see who was to get the long
and short terms. The commissioners
e'ectod Rukard Hurd of St. Paul as
swecary.
A deed to 75,000 acres of state
swamp land was given to the Duluth
and
Iron Range road last week by
the state auditor. The company has
0,000
acres still coming, which it is
selecting. The land is given under a
grant of 1875, when 000,000 acres were
given to the road. The delay in giv­
ing the deeds has been on account of
the delay in the state's receiving its
giants from the federal government.
Banks and trust companies must pay
the registry tax on mortgages which
they hold, according to Attorney Gen­
eral Young. At present these com­
panies pay a tax on their capital stock
and surplus and not on mortgages
which they may own, but under the
new law they will have to pay both.
The St. Paul state free employment
bureau will be opened about May 13
at the old state capitol. Captain J.
H. Wilson has been appointed to have
charge of the bureau. Mr. Wilson is
a G. A. R. man and prominent in St.
Paul labor circles.
Employes in the Minneapolis freight
houses are engaged in an effort to se­
cure a general increase of 25 per cent
In wages, but thus far their action has
reached only the request stage and
the railroad companies have not been
heard from.
R. T. O'Connor, J. W. Lusk and
Frank O'Meara, all of St. Paul, have
been named by Governor Johnson as
the members of the Minnesota capitol
grounds commission. Mr. O'Connor
has declined the position.
Union plasterers of St. Paul have
gone on a strike, the contractors hav­
ing refused to grant their request of
$5 a day for eight hours' work. The
plasterers get $4.50 a day for eight
hours' work at present.
Governor Johnson has appointed
Mrs. Granville W. Smith of Stillwater
as deputy oil inspector to succeed her
husband, who died recently. This is
the first woman ever appointed oil in­
spector In the state.
St. Paul police commissioners have
raised the salary of Chief of Police J.
J. O'Connor from $2,500 to $4,000. The
Increase was made in accordance with
the legislative act passed March 23.
Peace has been declared between
the ice wagon drivers and the com­
panies in Minneapolis. The men are
given an increase in wages through
the winter months.
Union machinists In the Twin Cities
are on strike. They demand a nine
hour day with ten hours' pay.
CRIMES AND MISHAPS.
Dr. Jacob F. Force Is liable In the
sum of $115,115.36 to the Northwestern
National Life Insurance company, of
which he formerly was vice president.
Such Is the judgment of Judge David
F. Simpson of the Hennepin county
district court in the first of the series
of civil suits begun with an idea to
recovering from the former officers of
the company the money which they
are alleged to have used illegally.
Arnold Spar by, aged eleven years,
was shot and instantly killed at the
home of J. Horstad, in the town of
Garden, south of Crookston, by Albert
Singer, aged sixteen years. The boys
were playing with an old gun, not
knowing it was loaded.
John M. Garvin, a conductor for the
Omaha railway living at St. Paul, was
found dead in the rear of a store in
that city with a bullet wound in his
head. It is supposed he committed
suicide.
An epidemic of diphtheria is report*
ed at New York Mills, Otter Tail
county, and the village schools have
been closed for two weeks on account
of the prevalence of the disease.
Mrs. Patrick Gibbons, an aged Min­
neapolis woman, was so seriously
burned in afire that started from an
exploding lamp that she expired twen
ty-four hours later.
Closely following the granting of a
divorce to his wife Alexander Coffitt of
Fulda, this state, committed suicide
In Minneapolis by cutting his throat
with a razor.
After spending six months in the
tuburcular ward of the Minneapolis
city hospital Gus Frieberg committed
suicide as a result of despondency.
OBITUARY.
George B. Chamberlain dropped
dead at his home in a suburb of Albert
Lea Thursday morning of heart dis­
ease. He was about eighty-five years
old and had been a resident of Free­
born county for nearly fifty years.
Professor Georg Sverdrup, president
Of Augsburg Theological seminary for
more than thirty years, died suddenly
at his home in Minneapolis of paral­
ysis of the heart.
John Engle, a prominent farmer
and one of the pioneers of Olmsted
county, is dead at the age of sixty
eight years. He was a veteran of the
Civil war.
Dr. William Huntington Leonard, a
practicing physician in Minneapolis
for fifty-two years, Is dead, aged
eighty-five.
Bfttaates FinliM.
The effect of Scott%f Emulsion on thin,
pale children is magical
It makes them plump, rosy, active, happy.
It contains Cod Liver Oil, Hypophosphiies
and Glycerine, to make fat, blood and bone,
and so put together that it is easily digested
by little folk.
ALL DRUGGISTS) SOc. AND $1.00.
The rain stays not with us long,
sunlight soon makes bright apologies
—Atlanta Constitution.
0ld, Fa8h'0n«d
for it, and holds a torch to the old fd^e fashionable to carry silver
world as she plunges through space
Timely Warning Against "Mail
Order" Cream Separators
Tae "Farm Implement News" of Chicago quotes the fol­
lowing good advice to dairy farmers from a lecture by Prof.
C. E. Lee of the University of Illinois State Experiment
Station:
"I am not at liberty to give my preference, for I am not
selling separators -if I were to name a separator manufac­
turer, either to you here in public or in piivate, I would lose
my position—but there is one thing I desire to warn you
farmers against and that is buying hand separators from tho
'mail order' houses. Don't do it—you will regret it. The
machines do not give results and they do not last. Our de­
partment receives hundreds of inquiries as to 'What's the
matter with my separator? It doesn't do this or it doesn't do
that,' and I tell you, gentlemen, that in every instance when
we ask them to name their seuarator it is a 'mail order house
machine and almost worthless when it was new."
Don't waste your money in a trashy separator, made
"cheap" t,o sell "cheap," that is going to WASTE instead of
SAVE for you EVERY TIME you put milk through it, and
which would be VERY DEAR EVEN AS A GIFT.
DE LAVAL Cream Separators are NOT that kind. A
DE LAVAL catalogue is to be had for the asking.
SMITH IMPLEMENT CO.
AGENTS, WORTHINGTON, MINN.
WALL PAPER
A large assortment of the Latest
Patterns and Newest Designs at
ANDERSON & BENSON'S
FURNITURE STORE
W E O N E A I N
FARM LOANS
Toothpicks.
fj,
& g0 was
Before you make your Loans you will
do well to consult me. I can loan you
money on easy terms and at a low rate
of interest.
THOROUGHBRED STOCK
Breeder of the following
PercKeroxi Horses
SHropsHire SHeep
Breeding animals for sale at all times.
G. W. PATTERSON
Office over
Albertua' Clothing: Store
,fon"
suspended round neck
by a chain.
WORTHINGTON, MINN
E S A I S E 1 8 6 7
ship YOUR HIDES, FURS, WOOL,etc
DIRECT TO US AND .SAVE 5MAlI. DEALERS'PROFITS.
D.BERGMAN &r CO., ST. PAUL,MINN.
TOP MARKET PRICES, IMMEDIATE CASH RETURNS
WRITE FOR PRICE LIST AND SHIPPING TAGS.
A. jr. KANNAL,
Practical Painter Sign Writer
WORTHINQTON, MINNSOTA
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