The Worthington advance. [volume], May 17, 1907, Image 3

About The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908

Image provided by: Minnesota Historical Society; Saint Paul, MN

                
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ALCOHOL S PER CENT,
ANfegetable fteparatlonlirAs
sf mllatlng theFbotfandRegiiar1
ting tlte Sromafhs ami
ness and RratjCoiUains neitt«r
Opiuni.Morphtae nor Mineral.
NOT NARCOTIC.
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AperfectBemedy forConsflp
Hon, Sour Stomach.Dlarrtm
Worms jConvulsionsJevcrisa
ness andLoss OF SHEER
Facsimile Siflnatiutof
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MAY
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1907
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Convenient Arrangement.
"What are you buying now?"
"I am looking for some present to
give my wife on her birthday. I tell
you, making presents costs a heap of
money."
"Why don't you do as I do? I have
never failed to make my wife a present
on her birthday every year for twenty
five years, and I am not out a penny
thus far."
"How do you manage it?"
"It is very simple. After we were
married, when her birthday came
round, I gave her a £5 note. When
my birthday came round, she gave me
the note back, and we have kept that
up ever since, and neither of us Is out
a penny."—London Tit-Bits.
Like .Calling For a Drink.
A
hard drinker was told by his doc­
tor that he could be cured if every time
he felt that he must have a drink he
would immediately take something to
eat Instead. The man followed the
advice and was cured, but the habit of
asking for food had become so fixed
with him that once he was nearly
locked up as a lunatic. He was stop­
ping at a hotel, and, hearing a great
commotion in the room next to his, he
peeped over the transom to see what
the matter was. He saw and rushed
madly down to the office and shouted
to the clerk: "The man In 153 has shot
himself! Ham and egg sandwich,
please!"
Wrong Frame of Mind.
"Caroline, aren't you ever going to
Join the church?"
"Of course I am. Aunt Rachel, some
day. But- you ought to know better
than ask me to do It when I'm right in
the midst of this dratted bouse clean­
ing."—Chicago Tribune.
The Old Order Changes.
The old Scots parliament decreed
that "golf and football shall be utterly
cryit dune." and today the Scots par­
liament does not exist, while football
and golf have Inherited the earth.—
Edinburgh Dispatch.
Every feood action prompts to a repe­
tition thereof.
WHEN BOSTON SHOOK.
An Earthquake That Rocked the City
November, 1755.
On November IS. 1755, "a little after
4 on a serene and pleasant night."
Boston was roused by an earthquake
which lasted nearly five minutes. A
writer of the times gives an account
of the catastrophe, and Rev. Henry
White quotes it in his "Early History
of New England:"
One hundred chimneys were leveled
to the roofs of the houses and fifteen
hundred were shattered in part. The
streets were covered with bricks which
had fallen. The ends of brick houses
were thrown down.
It was first introduced with a noise
like several coaches rattling over pave­
ments, or rather like many cart loads
of paving stones thrown down. The
first motion was a strong pulsation,
Which threw my house upward. Im­
mediately after a tremor succeeded
then instantly a quick vibration with
sudden jerks followed.
The first view I had was of the
steeples of the churches, and I was
glad to see them standing, but the
spindle and vane of Paneull Hall
market w^re thrown down.
Many persons ran into the streets,
shrieking with apprehension of Its be­
ing the last day or the Judgment, and
some thought they heard the last
trumpet sounding and cried for mercy.
The beast creatures lowed, the birds
fluttered in surprise, and all the ani­
mal creation was filled with terror.
Every face looked ghastly, and many
knees smote together. Never was such
a scene of disaster in New England be­
fore.
DON'T BORROW MEDICINE.
Physician Points Out the Grave Danger
of Such a Course.
"And whatever you do," said a doc­
tor to a poor patient, "don't take any
borrowed, medicine."
"Wasn't that an unnecessary cau­
tion?" asked a woman who happened
to be present.
"Not in this neighborhood," said the
doctor. "It is a common thing for peo­
ple down here to lend medicine. They
do It, of course, to help each other
along. So far as I know, no one has
paid the penalty of this neighborly
kindness with his life, but it is the
greatest wonder.in the world that one
half the people in the neighborhood
hasn't poisoned the other half.
"The first thing a sick person does Is
to describe his symptoms to his friends.
He is pretty sure to find somebody in
the crowd who has been afflicted with
apparently the same ailment. Usually
the former patient has some of the
medicine left and straightway It is
proffered as a possible cure.
"'You might just as well have It,'
says the kindly neighbor. 'It will be
pretty sure to help you and- will save
doctor's bills.'
"Of course it doesn't do anything of
the kind. Nine times out of ten the
stuff taken was prescribed for an en­
tirely different ailment and makes the
patient worse than he was in the begin­
ning, but until the altruistic spirit re­
sults in some serious accident the prac­
tice is likely to continue."—New York
Press.
The Chatty English.
Every Englishman likes to be alone
and have things to himself. If he can­
not choose his company, he would rath­
er have none. Englishmen are proud
of tile national idiosyncrasy, yet here
comes one who, knowing all this, pays
it no deference, but sets the national
tradition at defiance and forces his in­
trusive presence on you. Why does
this denationalized Englishman, when
he may be as solitary as you wish' to
be yourself, not act as every true Eng­
lishman ought and go into the next
carriage or take a seat at the other
side of the room as far away as he
can get from you? By all acknowl­
edged laws of English intercourse he
ought as much to dislike being near
you as you dislike to be near him.—
London Saturday Review.
Miraculous Cures.
Reginald of Durham, who wrote a
chronicle some time before 1195, as­
serts that a young English nobleman
was cured of leprosy at the shrine-of
8t Cuthbert In Durham cathedral and
that a young woman who had been for
the space of three years an Inmate of
a large hospital established at Badele,
near Darlington, In the diocese of
Durham, was miraculously healed at
the shrine of St. Godric at Flnchdale
in the presence of Ralph Haget sher­
iff of the county, and Norman, parish
priest of Hailtune.—St. James* Gazette.
It Didn't Break.
A little girl held a mirror up before
a visitor's face and asked, "Do you see
yourself In it?"
"Yes, my darling."
"Are you quite sure?"
"Yes. Why should I not?"
"Because I heard mamma say the
other day that if you ever peeped
Into a looking glass you'd smash it all
Into tiny little bits!"
vt?
He Could Dodge.
"There's nothing slow about Jones,"
he said reflectively.
The other laughed, scornfully.
"I guess you never loaned him any
money," be said.
"Oh, yes, I have," replied the first
speaker. "That's what made me speak
that way. I loaned him,$10 six months
ago, and I haven't been able to catch
him since."
She Got a' New One.
"I've, stopped, asking people It my
bonnet is on straight." The Husband
i-Whj\ my dear? TW "Wife—I love
£ou too much, John, to disgrace you by
calling a body's attention to an old
bonnet like this.—London Tit-Bits.
BIRD SUPERSTITIONS.
Queer Beliefs That Were Held by the
Ancient Mariners.
Birds as inhabitants of the air were
naturally chosen by the ancients as
oracles and augurs of future happen­
ings. The sensitiveness to atmospher­
ic changes shown by many birds aided
in establishing these notions. The real
indications often furnished by sea
birds of a coming storm or calm were
doubtless magnified by the anxious, su­
perstitious sailor.
The custom of hanging the sea swal­
low so that the bill may point to the
wind arose from the old time custom
of suspending the bird by the feet, ex­
pecting it would renew Its feathers as
if alive.
Divination by the flight of birds was
a favorite method in the olden times.
Sailors watched their flight for indica­
tions of prosperous voyages and favor­
ing winds. As they were thought to
fly through the air to heaven, they
easily became messengers of the will
of the gods.
The albatross Is believed by Jack tar
to sleep on the winds. It was at one
time thought that the petrel hatched
its eggs under its wings.
The kingfisher was at one time kept
in chests to keep away moths.
The fishhawk was esteemed a brlng
er of good' luck it boded good or evil
as its cry was to the right or left
There was an old superstition that
gulls were never seen bleeding. Shoot­
ing stars were then supposed to be the
half digested food of winter gulls.
CLEOPATRA.
The Story of Her Death From the Bite
of an Asp.
It is admitted that Cleopatra killed
herself to avoid being exhibited at
Rome in the triumph of Octavlus, who
had made war upon her and Antony be­
cause the latter bad divorced his (Oc­
tavlus') sister on the queen's account.
But did she die from a snake's bite?
It is better to think not "If her death
had been caused by any serpent, the
small viper would rather have been
chosen than the large asp, but the
story is disproved by her having deck­
ed herself in the royal ornaments and
being found dead without any' marks
or suspicion of poison on her body."
Death from a serpent's bite could not
have been mistaken, and her vanity
would not have allowed her to choose
one which would have disfigured her
in so frightful a manner.
Other poisons were well understood
and easy of access, and no boy would
have ventured to carry an asp In a
basket of figs, some of which he even
offered to the guards as he passed, and
even Plutarch shows that the story of
the asp was doubtful. Nor Is the statue
carried in Augustus' triumph, which
had an asp upon It, any proof of his
belief In it, since the. snake was the
emblem of Egyptian royalty. The
statue (or the crown) of Cleopatra
could not have been without one and
this teas probably the origin of the
.whole story.
Deaf Dogs Are -Rare.
People have been known to excuse
watch dogs for dereliction of duty on
the ground that the dogs might be
hard of hearing.' This e^puse ought
not to go. A veterinary surgeon of
Cleveland remarked that in his thir­
ty-five years' experience he had never
heard of a deaf dog. His remark led
to Inquiries ainong two or three other
veterinaries and not one had ever
heard ..of a dog that couldn't hear.
When a watch dog or any other dog
doesn't hear a man. that Is prowling
about the house it is because it doesn't
want to hear: Horses are frequently
treated by veterinaries for deafness,
and even cats are hard of hearing oc­
casionally, but deaf dogs seem to be
unknown in Cleveland at least—Cleve­
land Plain Dealer.
The Mohammedan Oath.
Of all the many forms of taking the
oath used in the courts perhaps the
most picturesque is that which the Mo­
hammedan is required to take. It is a
silent ceremony. The son of Islam
places his right hand flat upon the
Koran and puts the other on his fore­
head then be brings his forehead down
to and in contact with the book. He
then raises himself and looks up stead­
fastly for some seconds. The officer of
the court should then—though he some­
times forgets this—ask the Mohammed­
an, "Are you bound by the ceremony
you have performed to speak the
truth?" and the answer Is, "I am." In
India the ceremony has been abolish­
ed in favor of an affirmation.
Milk In Turkey.
In Turkey there Is a great consump­
tion of the milk of the buffalo, the
common cow, the goat and the ewe,
but it la hardly «rer used in a natural
state.. After slow cooling the milk is
treated with a ferment takeq from the
previous day's supply. In a few hours
a curd forms which is called yaghoun.
The preparation is preferred fc'mOk,
and it has a pleasant, clean, add taste
and is, of course, nutritious.
The Happy Family.
Mrs. Scrappington (in the midst 6f
her reading)—Here is an item which
says that full grown rhinoceroses cost
912,000 apiece.- Mr. Scrappington
(meanly)—Eh-yah! And isn't it a pity,
that women can't (wear them on their
hats?-H3mart Set
His Smile.
Old Hunks (sitting for his photo­
graph—What are you asking me to
look pleasant for? Blame it, ain't I
smiling? Photographer—Yes, sir that's
why I am asking you to try to look
pleasant-^hlcagft Tribune.
"'-'j. -''•""••J'-. •.. .—j.
We are best of all led to men's prin­
ciples by what they do.—Butler.
TIPPED AS HE WENT.
HIa Promise to Pay a Lump Si
Weekly Did Not Bring Results.
"I had heard all about the tlppin#.
system in Europe before going abroad."
said the young man Just returned from^
his maiden voyage, "so I thought rd|i
inaugurate a new system. At a fash*|t
ionable hotel In London the valet as|J
signed to my floor was' the subjr-ct
my first experiment.
"'See here,' I said in a J'rmsk, jorjsip|
manner when he came in to nttand weM'
'I want to make an nrrn.nreir.ent wlthjfi
you. It's an infernal nuisance to bftjf?
handing out tips every few minutes, or..,|
at least, when I want anything done.,!
Now, I purpose to lump the wholes*
thing In weekly payments. I expectj
to be here at least three weeks. You
look after me to the best of your ability,:'
and at the end of each week I'll make*
It all right with you—in fact I'll give
you more in a lump sum than you
would get in tips. Is that satisfae
tory?*
'Quite, sir,' he said cheerfully, but I
fancied he looked disappointed. ,^||
'Very well,' said 'I'm going out
for a drive about town. Meanwhile
take my evening clothes out of my
trunk, have them pressed and laid out
for me. You'll find studs and buttons
for the shirt in that box on the dresser.
My shoes are in that valise.' :!|f
"'H'all right sir. Very good, sir.
Thankee kindly,', said he, and I leftu"
with a feeling of elation. $|
"When I got back to the hotel I
found my evening clothes still in the
trunk, the shirt and shoes untouched
and, in short 'nothing doing.' Next
day I went back to the old system."—
New York Press.
For Nonsupport.
She—I can't understand why Lord"!
Busted wants a divorce. His wife had
half a million when he married her.
Be—Yes, and she's got every penny
oS
it still. Thafs the trouble.—Pick-Me*:
Up. 'Jj
if
A Display of Tact.
"Pa, what's tact?" "I
"I'll tell you. If Mr. Dullwlch, our
minister, should some day announce
that he would resign unless we raised
his salary he would not show tact, but
if he hinted that be intended to remain
here and preach to us all his life unless
we gave him a raise he would exhibit
tact in the highest degree. I hope you
understand."—Chicago Record-Herald.
A Straight Tip. ^J|
Geek (who has already wearied the
guests with many songs)—Now I will
sing you one more song and then go
home. Lady—Pardon me, but do you
attach much Importance to the order
of your programme?—Fliegende BlatrJ
tor. ll
Cruel.
Maud (before the laughing hyena's
cage)—How provoking! Here we've
been twenty minutes, and the hyena
hasn't laughed once. Ella—Strange,
and he's been eying your new hat too.'
Reasonable.
His Lordship—Whatever could yout
have, been thinking of to steal the
sheep? The Prisoner—I dunno, my
lord I must ha' been woolgatherln'.
Knew Him.
Beggar—Kind lady! I was not al­
ways like this. Lady—No, yesterday
you had the other arm tied up.—Szutofc.
We thoroughly cleanse, remove
that beddy odor and any stains,
recard and return them to you
with the same soft, fleecy finish
they had when originally pur*
obased.
InfersMttea fcaoMst free. Betani
eatress mM en enter* ef $* or sisrs
Gross Bro
fP. HEUERMANN
CONTRACTOR
&
Stone, Brick and Cement Work
Work Strictly Guaranteed
Estimate* Furnished on Request
WORTHINQTON, MINNESOTA
W.G.R/UU6E
Worth!
nqton
Transfer.
Dealer in 2 and
Shipper^ of Ice.
Baggage Freight
and Express.
Phone 50, 2,
WORTHINGTON, MINN.
a
a
Blanket*
Need Clearing
'Springtime, after a long winter's
use, before putting away for the
summer, is the time blankets
should be renovated.