The Worthington advance. [volume], May 08, 1908, Image 2

About The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908

Image provided by: Minnesota Historical Society; Saint Paul, MN

                
•fl
5?ii
1
Si
I'1
id
I
iii
"'fj
it
it
•ffi
io-.
r.J:
1
1
!.'!
I
'.t'.i.
til
Office over
Citizens National Bank
J. A. TOWN
ATTORNEY
AT LAW
WORTHINGTON MINNESOTA
W. WILSON,
Attorney at Law.
Office over Bank of Worthington.
J)R.L. R. GHOLZ, D. 8.
Dentist.
ty Office next to Globe Printing
Office.
J)B. J.N.GOULD.
Veterinary Surgeon.
Office at Western Honse.
OLIVER MADISON
Qemtal DuMff In
LIVE STOCK
Thoroughbred Breeding Stock
See us Before you Buy or Sell
Worthington, Minn
Baggage, Transfer and
Dray Line
FRED ROSE, Prop.
Baggage hauled any time during day or
night.
Residence Phone 170 Office Phone 188
ggjg BAKER'S
for your
Bacon, Lard and
Sausages
t)F ALL DESCRIPTIONS. WE MAKE
A SPECIALTY OF THESE
TRV US!
We are not getting at all lone­
some, but when you want to buy
COAL or want to buy or sell GRAIN
we will do our very best to make it
an object to you to come and see us
or call us up.
PHONE *332,
Hubbard & Palmer
Elevator Co.
J. C. Ager, Mgr.
Worthington, Minnesota
Andrews & Halvorson
NEW
BLACKSMITHS
Reading, Minnesota
All kinds of Blacksmithing,
Horseshoeing, Woodwork
All Work Guaranteed.
GIVE US A TRIAL
I
S O E
I
of the very prettiest
POST CARDS
we have ever seen are
now being turned out
I
itBuclian's Studio!
From views around Okabena
I Lake. Send some to your
friends.
lilWutill
Highest market price paid
for all kinds of
HAY
Delivered at any point within fifty
miles of Worthington.
W. P. Devereaux
A.
Gregerson, Mgr.
Office at Skewie Elevator.
WORTHINGTON ADVANCE
PUBLISHED BVERY FRIDAY.
THOS. DOVER V, PUBLISHER.
The Crookston Times wants a den*
ial over Jake Jacobson's signature
that he is not a candidate in the in­
terest of the railroads and the lumber
corporations. Jake's past record is
sufficient answer to the charge. For
twenty-flve years the LacquiParle
statesman has been using all the pow­
er at his command to make the big
corporations ofthe state treat the pub­
lic fairly, but has never been in posi­
tion where he could crack the whip.
Two years ago he was defeated for
the republican nomination for gover­
nor by the lumber and pine land gang
and a man placed at the head of the
ticket more to the liking of the gang
mentioned. Just so long as the Shev
lins, Smith, et al, dominate nomina­
tions the dftmoer&ts will elect their
candidate. It* time the republican
party pried itself away from this
undesirable elettteiiiand nominated a
man of the people. Let the demo­
cratic party have a monopoly on gang
rule.—Heron Lake News.
Gahderbone's May Foaecaet.
(Copyrighted 1908, by C. H. Bieth.)
Wake me early, mother darling,
When the east is growing gray,
For I'm to be queen of the May, mo­
ther,
I'm to be queen of the May.
Put the alarm clock close beside you
To announce the break of dawn.
For I must rustle out, mother,
And get my glad rags on.
Wake me early, mother darling,
For I've business to be at,
For I'm to be queen of the May,
mother,
have the biggest hat.
The pass-word for tbe month will
be," tVhat'sthe score?" Book install­
ments will be paid ou the 1st. Gas
meters will run slower, and presid ent
ial candidates will run faster. Pride
which has been going before a fall5
will go behind a go-cart. Straw­
berry measures will be:
Twelve quarts make a crate,
One pint makes a quart,
Top berries make a sale,
Nobody makes a kick.
Mr. Taft will appear at Chicago,
and engage quarters in the garage for
one 40 horse power elephant, and one
90 horse power Teddy Bear. Mr.
Bryan will start for Denver in a 1-mule
power runabout. Congress will ad­
journ about the 16th, and the mem­
bers will go home and explain.
The watchfnl tabbycat will get
The helpless little flicker,
And the prohibitionists will set
A few more traps for liquor.
The sun will rise at six o'clock and
and go to bed at 7 and the sweet
June bride will contemplate the near
approach of Heaven. The breath of
May will bring the fern, the rose and
buttercup,
and
the farmers
wife will
milk and churn before the men get
up. The boys will skin the slippery
elm with Jimmie's barlow knife, and
the ice man will be out to skin the in­
nocent housewife. The frog will
sound a richer bass from rivers and
ravines, and man will tone his system
up|with sassafras and greens.
And the city boarder will
Begin to correspond
With some bucolic country place
Of which his wife is fond.
The host will promise country fare.
That most revered of boons,
And place his order up at town
For seven tons of prunes.
The graduate will choose a theme
for his great June oration, and plan
to tell us what is good for this neg­
lected nation the music school will
graduate Ophelia and Viola, and when
they both come home they'll buy
themselves a pianola.
The thrasher will descant at eve
Upon the passing day,
The festive colt will fill his turn
With prophylactic hay
The chicken-hawks will pounce upon
The fat buff-cochin fries,
And the horse will whirl his tail piece
at
The all-tarnation flies.
The Saxons called the month Tri
Milki, because at this season the dairy­
man makes his milk of three parts—
one part milk, one part watef,
sod one
part formaldehyde.
May is from the Latin Maiua jttit as
June takes its name from traiores,
the Juniors. That is, this aionth
#h»n old head* are at theit and
and young meolike BiU Taft a*id Ted
Roosevelt will, have to look out for]
old tops like Uncle Joe Cannon and
Uncle John Rockefeller. About the
25th. nobody much will care to bet
that Uncle Joe will not be nominated
for president, or that Uncle John will
pay that thirty million dollar fine.
May is a bad month to wed in,
Because, we are told, it is 6aid in
Such cases the 6tork as a custom
begins
The young husband's troubles, O hor­
rors, with twins.
After the 23rd, May will be under
the influence of Gemini, the sign of
the arms. Boys born in the Gemini
will want to bear arms They will be
soldiers and work for the governmeut
at $13 a month.
Gemini people are restless. They
move all the time, and you always
have to ask them where they are liv
ing now. They have brilliant imagin­
ations, and think Bryan will have a
walk over. They are foolish, and
think Taft won't gMthecaibredvote'
They are fcfrutally hotfe&t, and genet'
ally tell the young mother that her
baby is ugly
The June aanott&cemente will be
made, and Madam Gould will don he*
fighting cap and say that she will
marry Prince Sagan whereat her Boni
whom she had to forcibly detatcb,
will challenge Helie to come out aid
fight a spitting match. The Prince
will buy some navy plug, and Bony
buy the same, and both will hurry
up. lest soma bold fighter dies, the
dudes will spit tobacco juice in one
another's eyes. The seconds will
cheer on the fight, the band will play
a tune, and Boni will hit Helie with a
silver-ribbed spittoon receiving which
the doughty Prince will dawn him in
the mud, and wash nis hated features
with a wet tobacco cud.
And then John D. will get in line,
With sundry growls and holler*,
And pay his June installments on
That thirty million dollars.
At a meeting of the high school
Alumni Association held Tuesday
evening at the home of the secretary,
Miss Flora Buchan, steps were taken
to arrange for the annual banquet of
the Association.
Democratic County Convention
Official Call.
A Democratic delegate convention
for the county of Nobles, State of
Minnesota, will be held at the city
hall in Adrian, Saturday, May 9,1908
at 4:30 o'olock in the afternoon of
said day, for the purpose of choosing
8 (8) delegates to the Democratic
State Convention, to be held in the
City of St. Paul, on Thursday, May
14th, 1908, for the purpose of choosing
twenty-two delegates and twenty
two alternates to the National Demo­
cratic con VMrtion to be held at Den­
ver, July 4
1908,
to nominate candi­
dates for president and vice president
of the United States.
Also for the purpose of designating
a resident of said county who shall
be recommened to the state conven­
tion for election as a member of tbe
state central committee, and to tran­
sact such other business as may prop­
erly come before the said convention.
The basis of representation to the
county convention shall be one dele­
gate for each 25 votes or major frac­
tion thereof cast for Governor John
A. Johnson at the last general elec­
tion, and also one delegate at large
for each precinct.
In accordance with the above ap­
portionment the several precincts
will be entitled to the following num­
ber of delegates:
Adrian 7 Leota 2
Brewster 3 Larkin 2
Bigelow 3 Little Bock 3
Bloom 2 Olney 3
Dewald 2 Bound Lake 2
Dundee 2 Bansom 2
Ellsworth 4 Bushmore 2
Elk 2 Seward 2
Grand Prairie 3 Summit Lake 2
Hersey 2 Wilmont twp 3
Graham Lakes 2 Wilmont Vil 2
Kin brae 1 Westside 2
Lorian 2 Worthington 3
Lismore twp 2 Indian Lake 3
Lismore Vil 2 Worthington
Worthington 1st Ward 5
2nd Ward 6
Total 81
The primaries for the election of
delegates to the county convention
will be held in the usual voting
place in the several precincU on Wed­
nesday, May 6, 1908, from 7:30 to
8:30 o'clock, p. at
3.
A.
Schaeffer,
Chairfss©.
E. E. Lovrien,
Secretary.
©-A.OTO:*!.!
A.
feuattw
ttgntvci
tf
WITH
tWdCMT
(Copyright, 1907, by Byron Williams.)
Retrospective.
HIS THOUGHTS.
saw her yesterday upon the street—
The woman that I swore to lovi
through life.
She went away soon after that, and now
I think she is a writing teacher's wife!
Gad, how she's changed from what I
used to know:
Her nose is straight and sharp and—
say! her chin
Is just a little bit too short for looks,
While all her dimples they have sunk­
en in.
Why, in the olden days, her eyes were
stars
That glowed upon me with exquisite
grace—
Twin orbs of light that, filled with love,
Shone like the bliss of heaven from her
face!
The apple-blossoms in her cheeks were
pink
As any on yon rosy-tintea tree
But now—there's nothing of these charms
at all
About her sallow face that I can see!
I must have been a giddy fool at best
To think I ever loved that woman so.
I'll bet if she would have me NOW, I'd
shy
And with a thankful heart I'd answer.
"NO!"
There's not a blessed thing that speaks
to me
Of what she was in years now gone
for aye—
A dream I long have cherished In my
heart,
Was rudely shattered when I passed
her by!
HER THOUGHTS.
Well, gracious me, I do believe 'twas he—
But what a substitute for Charley Sly!
He's fat and stout and Oh! his nose was
red—
And did you note the color of his tie?
His overcoat was made six years ago,
His hat was soiled with dust and grime
and dirt!
And he is rich as Midas, too, they say,
The stingy thing, with whom I used to
flirt!
Well, who would think that man was
once my beau?
That once he wrote such pretty lover's
rhymes?
I almost ran away and married him
And let him hold my hand—Ah, many
times!
I well recall one dreamy night in June,
We floated by the Cedar's nectared
side
I blush to say his arm was 'round my
waist,
While we were drifting with the
eled tide!
jew­
He softly quoted prose and verse galore
And told me how he loved and wor­
shiped me!
And when a cloud concealed the silv'ry
moon,
The kiss he gave me not a soul could
see!
Well, well! How kind Fate was to me
back there
To save me from a yoke of life with
.him—
To live with such a pudgy, awkward
brute,
Would turn my cup to aloe at the brim!
The world Is Oh! so happy, since he
passed,
The nectar in my glass is rosy hued,
And when I think how nearly I was
caught,
It makes my spirits rise in gratitude!
I'm, Oh, so glad, that fortune took me
hence
And thankful that some fairy who
could scan
The future, led me far away from home
And saved me from that AWFUL,
HORRID man!
Fancies.
The real student seldom knows the
latest slang.
There are many slips on the tree of
grammar.
The trouble with most schemes is
the inability of their author to harness
them to a practical whiffletree.
Fame is the atom which struggles
longest against the disintegration of
Time.
The world's greatest men have been
scholars of the world and not of books.
The maker of monuments for fa­
mous people is so busy that he does
little erecting on the grave until long
after the spirit has flown forever.
There is far too much of nature for
man ever to put it all in a book.
Knowledge and whisky are alike
only in this: The more we take of
them, the more we want.
One stupid man may cast a gloom
over three wise ones.
The head of the learned blockhead
'is filled with loose lumber. If he un­
load the lumber, he is still a fool.
The man who was born in a cellar
Is just as much entitled to sleep in
the guest chamber as the one who was
born with a silver spoon in his mouth.
Few men who have not earned it,
ever have Commanded success.
Hope You Never Felt That Way.
One of the hardest things to under
stand when you go home late at night
is why it takes you so long to get up
stairs when the stairs seem to be com*
Ing down.—New York Press.
SS
Convalescents need a large amount of nourish
ment in easily digested form.
Scott's' Emulsion
ment—highly concentrated.
It makes bone, blood and muscle without
putting any tax on the digestion.
ALL DRUGGISTS: 50c. AND $1.00.
is powerful nourish
We Sell the Genuine
Which is unequalled in quality and prepara­
tion. Order your next load from up. Try it.
Albinson-Boberg Lumber Company
l-S Pnone 12-J-l. WORTHINGTON, MINN.
Schaefer Bros. & Co.
are in line for all kinds of
igUard and Soft COAL®
At the
E.
L.
THE-
Best Investment
Without doubt, the investment offering the greatest combination
interest value and absolute security and safety is land not any
land, but the right land.
200,000 acres of the best land in our United States, land in
Billings and Bowman Counties, N. D., we offering at from $10 to
$18 per acre. This land will treble in value within five years
time.
Adjoining it are raised the largest known crops of wheat,
flax, oats, rye and corn, while good water, rich, deep soil, and
fuel for the digging make the best land investment opportunity
in this country today.
We can also locate you on a free homestead adjoining land
purchased from us—just like finding $2,500.
Send for free maps and booklets—join one of our special
Tuesday excursions and convince yourself.
At any rate, write us today.
Western Land Securities Comp'y
143-147 ENDICOTT BLDG., ST. PAUL.
A. M. GREGERSON,
Local Agent.
WANTED—Young lady to learn
to set type, at Advance office.
MADE TO WEAR
FOR RENT—Four large living
rooms. Enquire at this office.
The old fashioned, sometimes
comfortable, but always "clumsy"
shoe, has given place to the
"Packard"—a union of both
style and comfort Packard Shoes
have a pronounced individuality
of style that enables their well
dressed wearer to regard his feet
:with
satisfaction.
.Sold at $3.50, and $5.00 in all styles
M. A. PACKARD CO., Makers, Brockton, Mass.
Albert Schmidt
nocking
Elevator
Schwartz.
Manager
WORTHINGTON. MINNESOTA
PACKARD
Sold by
Is