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Select Poetry. THE BRIDE'S DEPARTURE. BY LIEUT. G. W. PATTEN, U. S. ARMY. Brother ! speak in whispers light, 'Tis iny last my last good night I Never more oar steps will stray Through the garden's scented way; By the homestead ot the bees ; Neath the shadv chestnut trees; the meadow's winding stream, smi!e and Die less- Tis ny last my last caress. Sistert! with thine eyes of blue. Hither come and weep "adieu !" Let tljy arm around me twine, .Let thy cheek repose on mine, While I gaxe into thy face. Circled in this dear embrace. Thou hast ever proved to me, AU that love could wish to be ; Yet I leave thy heart alone Brother Sister ! bless your own. Mother ! thou hast rocked my head boftly on its cradle bed When the storm was raging high, Sweetly sung love's lullaby Yet I part I part from tube. Who henceforth will sing to mc, Wherf my forehead ache9 with pain ? I thai miss that early strain. Mother hwith thy accents mild, Bless ob ! bless thy weeping child. Father! thou hast loved me well More than human tongue can tell More than wealth, since childhood's hour, ThoOfhast lavished on thy flower. Now, thy lock are waxing grey, From thy heart I pass away : Never more thy lips, at eve, On ay cheek their kiss will leave In thy prayer of undertone, 'Mother ! Father ! bless your own. Select Miscellany. A DESPERATE RACE. A Story of the Early Settlement of Ohio. Some years ago I was one of a con TiiM Bart v. that met at the nriuciLal hotel in the town of Columbus, Ohiojw the great seat of Government of the JfuckeyeSlule. It was a winter evening, when all without was bleak and stormy, andall I within was blithe and gay; whou song j and story made the circuit of the festive i board, filling up the chasm ot lilo with mirth and laughter. We had met for the purpose of ma king a night of it, and the pious inten tion was truly aud most religiously car ried out. The Legislature was iu ses sion in the town, aud not a few of the j worldly Legislators were present upon ; this occasion. One of these worthies, I will uame, j as he not only took a big swath in the evening eutertaiumeut, but as he was a man more generally known, than even our worthy President, James K. Polk. That man was the famous C'jj'tuin lili.-y, whose narratives of suffering aud ad ventures is pretty generally known all over the eiviliz-d world. Captain Riley was a tine, fat, good humored joker, who at the period ot my story was the Rep resentative of the Dayton District, and lived near that little city when at home. Well, Capt. Riley had amused the com pany with many of his far-famed and singular adventures, which being most ly told before, and read by millions of people, that have never seen his book, 1 will not attempt to repeat them. Many were the stories and advenjures told by the company, when it came to the turn of a well known gentleman who represented the Cincinnati District. As Mr. is yet among the living. and perhaps not disposed to be the sub ject of a joke or story I do not feel at liberty to give h'19 name. Mr. was a slow baliever in other men's ad ventured, aud at the same time much disposed to magnify himself into a mar vellous hero, whenever the opportunity offered. As Capt. Riley wound up one ot his truthful though marvellous ad ventures, Mr. coally remarked that the Captain's story was all very well, but it did not compare with an adventure he had 'once upon a time,' on the Ohioj below the present city of Cin cinnati. "Let's have it ! let's have it !" re sponded from all hands. "Well, gentlemen," said the Senator, clearing his throat for action, and knock ing the ashes from his scgar against the arm chair, "Gentlemen, I'm not iu the habit (quite notorious for it!) of spin ning yarns of marvellous and fictitious on a titers, and therefore it is scarcely ne cessary .to affirm upon the responsibility oX-my .reputation, gentlemen, that what I am about to tell you is the God's truth, and " "Oh ! never mind that, go on Mr. i ," chimed in the party. t'W.ell, gentlemen, in 18 I came down the Ohio river, settled at Losenti, .now called Cincinnati. It was at that time a little settlement of some twenty or thirty log and frame cabins, and where now stands Broadway Hotel, and ' -Mocks of stores and dwelling houses, 1 was the cottage and the corn patch of Ir. J. K.. a tailor, who by the by bought the laud for the making of a coat for one of the settlers. ' Well, I put up a cabin, by the aid of my neighbors, and put in a patch of corn and potatoes, about where the Fly Market now stands, and set about im proving my lot, house, &e. "Occasionally I took up my rifle and started off with my dog, down the river, to look up a little deer or bear meat, then very plenty along the river. The blasted red skins were lurking about, and hovering around the settlement, and every once in a while carried off one of our neighbors, or stole some ol im iM II mi H mil 1 1 1 1 r hated -tin mm devils, and made no bones of peppering the blasted serpents whenever I got a sight at them. In fact, the red rascals had a dread of me, and had laid a great many traps to get my scalp, but I was not to be caught napping No, no gentlemen, I wa3 too well up to 'em for that. "Well, I started off one morning pretty early to take i. hunt, and went a Ions way down the river, over the bot toms and hills, but could'nt find a bear or deer. About four o'clock in the af tcrnoon, T made tracks for the settle ment again. By and by I sees a buck just ahead of me. walking leisurely down the river. 1 slipped up, with iny faith ful dog close in my rear, to within clev erly shooting distance, and just as the buck stuck his nose in the drink, I drew a bead upon his top knot, and over he tumbled, and splurred and bounded awhile, when I went up and relieved him, by cutting his wizand. ' "Well, but what has that to do with an adventure ?" said Riley. "Hold on a bit, if you please, gentle men by jrve, it had a great deal to do with it for while I was busy skinning the hind quarters of the buck, and stow ing away the kidney fat in my bunting shirt, I heard a noise like the breaking of a brush under a moaca-in up the bottom. My dog beard it and started up to reconnoi're. and I lo-t no time iu re loading my rifle. I had hardly got my priming on, before my dog raised the howl, and broke through the brush towards me with his tail c"own; as he w s not used to doing, un!e-s there w. re wolves, painters or Indians about. 1 picked up my knife, and took up my line o: march in a skulking trot up the river. The frequent gullies on the lower bank made it tedious travelling there, se I scrambled up to the upper bank, which was pretty well covered withJuckeye ami very little underbrush. One peep below discovered to me three as big and strapping red devils, gentle men, ever you clapped your eyes up on ! Yes, there they came, not above six hundred yards in my rear ; shouting and jelling like devils, and coming af ter me liKe h 1 broke looe!" "Well," said an old woodsman sit ting at t lie table, "you took a tree, of course ?" "Did I ? No, by gentle men, I took no ti'ce just then, but I took to my heels like sixty, and it was as much as my dog could do to keep up with me. I ran until the whoops of the red skins grew fainter and fainter behind me. and clean out of wind, I ventured to look behind, and there came one single red devil, puffing and blowing, not three hundred yards in my rear. He had got ' on to a piece of bottom where the trees were small and scarce. "Now. thinks I. j my old fellow, I li have you,' so I trot ted off at 1 pace sufficient to let the red j devil gain on me, and when he got neari enough, 1 wheeled and fired, and down j I brought him, dead as a door nail, at j a hundred and twenty yards !" "Then you scalped him immediately?' asked tbe woodsman. "Mighty clear of it ; for by the time; I got my rifle loaded, here came the! other red skins, shouting and whooping close on me, and away 1 broke like aj quarter horse. I was now about five j miles from the settlement, and it was getting towards sunset. I run till my) wind began to be pretty short, when 1 took a look back, and here the two red: devils came snorting like mad buffaloes, one about two or three hundred yards ahead ot the other; so 1 acted possum : again, until the toremost lnjtn got pret ty well up, and I wheeled and fired, at the very moment the red devil was 'drawing a bead' on mc; he fell head over stomach into the dirt, and up came the last ied devil " "So you laid him ," gasped sev eral. "No," continued the Senator, "I didn't lay him, for I hadn't time to load, so I laid legs to the ground and started again. I heard the blasted whelp ev ery bound after me. I ran and ran till the fire flew out of my eyes, and the old Jok's tongue hung out of his mouth a quarter of a yard long ! "Something kind of cool began to trickle down my legs into my boots " "Blood, eh ? from the shot the var mint gin you?" said the old woodsman, in a great state of excitement. "1 thought so," said the Senator, "but what do you think it was?" Not being blood, we were all puzzled to know what the blazes it could be, when Riley observed "Melted deer fat which I had stuck in the broast of my hunting shirt, and the grease was running down my legs until iny feet got so greasy that my he ivy boots flew off, and one hitting the dog, nearly knocked his brains out." "We all grinned, which the Senator noticing, observed T hope, gentlciuen. no man hero will presume ting?" "Oh! certainly not go on, Mr. ." we all chimed in. "Well, the ground under my feet was soft, and being relieved of my heavy boots, I put off in double quick time, and nceing the creek about half a mile off, I ventured to look over my shoul ders to see what kind of a chance there was tc hold up and load. The redskin was jogging along, pretty well blowed out. about five hundred yards in the rear. So at it I went in went the pow- itPaiWlialTrsrT; and off snapped the ramrod !" "Ihunder and lightning. shouted the woodsman, who had been worked up to the top notch in the Senator's story. 'Good God ! wasn't I in a pickle ? There was the red whelp within two! hundred yards of me, pacing along, and 1 'i r ... loading up his rifle as he came ! I jerk ed out the broken ramrod, dashed it away and started on. priming up as I cantered off, determined in turn to give the red skin a blast anyhow, 'as soon as I reached the creek. "I was now within a hundred yards of the creek could see the smoke from the settlement chimneys ; a few more jumps, and I was by the creek ; the red devil was close upon me; he gave a whoop, and I raised my rifle on he came, knowing I had broken my ram rod, and my load not half down. An other whoop ! whoop ! I pulled trigger, and " "And killed him ?" chuckled Riley. "No, sir ! I missed fire, by thunder!" "And thured devil " shouted the old woodsman in a phrenzy of excite ment. "Fired and killed me ! ! ! " The sere 121s a id shouts that fo'low. d this finale brought landlord Noble, ser vants and hcstlers running up stairs to sje 11 the house was on nrc .-finueW Too Mirthful. "Do stop that girl's laughing ! It re ally makes me nervous to hear her.: From morning till night her mouth is open, either laughing or singing, jusT as if there was no (rouble or sin in the world. I never saw such a rattle-brain thing as she is iu my life !" So Hetty w;s made to suppress her glee, and, to sing low. This was the at most that hoc role's could accomplish, for the gill's heart was light within her, and overflow it would. But check after check was given her; and month after month she was told, with awful serious ncss, that she was too wild, too merry, too imaginative ; that it was her duty to measure her steps, her morals, her very smiles : to hold down her imagination ; always to turn her thoughts towards reading cooking, mending and sewing, when she caught them starting off for a revel in the regions of beauty and de light for the fair, fair skies of fancy ; and always to wait till she didn't care whether she moved or stood still, spoke or held her tongue, when she glowed with a quick impulse to do or say some thing. Well, they managed to tone Hetty down somewhat; but she never could be made to become exactly serious and proper until the band of sorrow took her heart and pressed it so hard so very hard that the joy ousness which had so long dwelt singing in it was crushed out and went, none kne.v wi ther Many burdens were bound for poor Hetty's heart, and it bore them 1 1.. .:fp . 1. . : 1- : i . uraveij wit iuu spring 01 joy was uio ken ; then each additional lead presued j down with more hopeless weight. Now; she is what blindly they tried to render her when she was a child. O, let the children and the maidens! laugh and sing. Do not, O, do not i be always checking and rebuking them ! for beinggay. Little time enough have j they before care will begin its gnawing and grief and pain. They will grow old and grave anon, never fear. Their glory will soon enough be darkened, their buoyant' cease. The canker and tle blight will not pass them. Dark ness and disaster sooner or later, shuts down the morning light of all. O, the fated, the unconscious young '. Rut let them, while the impulse yet is in them, laugh and play, and dance and sing. And if, perchance, ere the merry days are over, any sleep, murmur not. "Hap j j I j Willis's Musical World. One Hour. There was once a lad who, at four teen, was apprentice to a soap boiler. tJne ot his resolutions was to read one hour a day, or at least at that rate ; and be had an old silver watch, left b uncle, which he timed his reading by. lie stayed seven years with bis master, and his master said, when he wastwen-ty-oue that he knew as much as the old 'squire did. Now let us see how much time he had to read in seven years, at! the rate of an hour a day. It would bo twenty-five hundred and fifty-five hours; which, at the rate of eight reading hours a day, would be three hundred and nine teen days, equal to forty-five weeks even to eleven months, pearly a year's reading. That time spent in treasuring up useful knowledge would pile up a very large store. I am sure it is worth trying for. Try what you can do. Be gin now. From our new Dictionary. Dog stealing "in the second degree" hook ing sausages. An a cute angel any angel that enables you to cross a street so as not to ruu against a bore. Think of the Poor. j ! Kind reader, the morning wind blows sharp and keen. vou may be comfortably warmly clad, give a thought a an act of charity for the p round you. 1 hey arc j and must be fed and clothe it has pleased Him to crov plenty, and place you abovi of want, tis surely no crnu give a little to your less fort bors. It is true that we m destitution, this " done in previous ones, for those manu i - - . - factories that suspended operations last fall, h ive most of them resumed, thus giving employment to thousands of hard working mechanics, that last winter were the subjects of charity, aud who filled to cverflowing, our soup bouses and other benevolent institutions ; still. we venture to say that wiinin me sound of the State House bell, there are hun dreds of families that tc-day nee 1 a helping hand. Perform the part of the good Samaritan, and visit these children of poverty in their lowly dwelling places, administer to their wants and necessities, for by these little actions you will not only prevent much suffer ing that would otherwise occur, but you would be carrying out that golden rule "Do unto others as you would have others do to you." We say, "Remember the poor," for though to-day you may be reveling in all the luxuries that money and friends could possibly furnish, to-morrow's set ting sun may find jou a mendicant at the do r of charity. Though to-day all may seem sunshine and happiness to-morrow may bring its howling blasts, and stor.n clouds may well up in your path, and engulph you in their vortex. Give a thought and care fur the poor. Go to work and search them out in your own immediate neighborhood, and give them such relief as may be in your pow er, and you will feel much sappier and better for having furthered the ends of charity, by the peiformance of a kind action towards your poorer neighbors. Commence your good deeds early, and wait not until exposure and want shall have laid low the manly forms of those whom the Father of All recognizes as His children, and loves them with a av 1 'WH-lWFIll J'Pj wiotsira ntniniTTn-pnt.il Philadelphia Commonwealth. wealth. Mrs. Rebecca Cutwrig'ut died in Upshur county. Vs., not long since, at the age of one hundred and six years. An obituary of her says: She was the fust white woman who settled in the valley of the Bucihannoii river, coming to Western Virginia when quite young and living with her h'JS bind 111 a hollow tree, at the aiouth ot Turkey run, in what is now Ujshur county. The deceased retained all her faculties in vigor until the ciose of her long and eventful life, and on the morn I ing of her decease was carcss;n ; one of her great grand children, when, feeling wsary, snc requested tnc cnuu "10 oe ciuiet. while granny would lie 'lown and sleep. The venerable old ldy then lay dewn upon her bed and "slept the sleep that knows no waking." Her de scendants number between four and five hundred. Love of Fair Play. Strolling leisurely about Uncle Sam's big ship-3-ard, in Washington, the other day, we observed a regular hard-weather sailor- looking chap from a man o'-war, who, in turn, was watching two men dragging a seven foot cross-cut saw through a huge live oak log. The saw was dull, the log terrible hard, and there they went see saw, see saw, pull, push. push, pull. Jack studied the matter over awhile, until he came to the con clusion they were pulling to see who would get the saw, and as one was a monstrous big chap, while the other was a little follow, Jack decided to see fair play: so giving the big one a clip under the car that capsized him end over end. he jerked the saw out of the log, and giving it to the small one, sung out "Now run, you beggar!" A NEW DISCOVERY" IN LIGHT. A HOW discovery in light is about to be intro duced, which, if it realizes the aver ments of the patentees, will revolution ize all our existing methods of illumin ation. It was first publicly exhibited during the visit of the queen to Cher bourg, while her majesty was passing at night from her own ship to that of the em peror. The raw material may be a cheap hUlgas, mane trom the commonest meteri- als, and the increase ol brilliancy is ob tained by passing through a new medi um which is alleged to have all the ad vantages of lime without its destructi bility. The calculations put forth are that a light equal to that of 500 street lamps and lasting 12 hours can bo ob- tained at a cost equal to &7h cents, or .'Is. 6d. sterling, while for domestic pur poses one jet equaling in effect 18 pounds of candles, and costing only 4d. (S cents i for 12 hours, will give a light fully I equal to '.I argand lamps, and double that of any ordinary gas burner. It is ns crtcd also that the I apparatus is cheap, perfectly requisite purtaoie and capable of being managed even by a child that the light is free from smell very white, extremely pure and charac terized by the property of burning stead ily, continuously, and without diminu tion. The pattentec is Hon. K. Fitz- I ma uriee. j 1 They are Passing Away. ndBmiBBssssmmmmU-m 'Hi w ' ' ' - '. ' : "feet health p:dj8Kdui by "tHr - ger iiuiuuu 11 1 1 11 iirrrrwmrw'swmsmSBwmmas peetations, is cut down, to be seen upon earth no more. Look upon that happy family, now seated around the home fire side : they know not the meaning of the words "care and sorrow" will it ever be thus? Again we visit them; but now they gaze in mute despair upon the inanimate form of their darling. Death has visited that family, and taken the flower of the household, the youngest, from that little flock. Surely now they must truly realize the force of that short sentence "They are passing away." Come with mc to the death-bed of the Christian. His family are gathered around him, and re listening for the last time to his words of instruction ! Hark ! he is imploring them to put ho value on the fleeting things of this world but place their trust on high, lie too has passed away, and as his friends gather around his grave, aud hear those solemn words, "Mingle ashes with ashes, and dust with its original dust," they feel in their inmost souls the solemnity of this truth, "They are passing away. Always be Polite An elderly la dy, passing down a busy street in S'ew Haven, was overtaken by a sudden show er of rain. She was some distance from any acquaintance, and had no umbrel la. She was deliberating what to do. when a pleasant voice beside her said, "Will you take my umbrella, uiiyl am ?" The speaker was a boy, perhaps ten years of age. "Thank you," said the lady, "I am afraid you will get wet." "Never mind ine, ma'am, I'm a boy and -ou are a lady." "Rut perhaps you will accompany me to a friend's not faroff.and then I should find it necessary to rob youJl The boy did so. received the thanks of the lady and departed. Two years rolled by, the lady often related the circumstance, as often won dering what had become of her gentle manly little friend, but little thinking ever to see him again. In the dull sea son winter this boy was out of employ ment, and the circumstance coming to the knowledge of this lady, she gave him a good home till March, when she introduced him to a good situation. Verily, kindness odd m goes unrequi ted. KfB- Little Frank is dead ! He came when the trees were green and the flow ers were blooming, and the birds were singing, and remained with us twoyears two short years of almost ceaseless warbling. After we had learned to love him learned each particular note of his little song, and looked upon him as essential to our daily pleasures, he drop ped upon his little parch, and died died while the notes of his last warble yet lingered in our ear lingering mel-1 ody never to be forgotten ; for we will be reminded of his short existence, ra-j diant with cheerfulness and music, whenever we hear his fellows of the for- est trees, a remembrance slightly tinged with sadness, yet as full of happiness a? was little Frank of life, ar.d glee, and! song, but a few hours agone : "Poor little Frank is dead but don't tell the little ones just now they loved him so V CSS The following bit of advice by Stephen Girard, the Philadelphia mil lionare, is worth remembering by those who want purchasers for thuir wares : "I have always considered advertis ing liberally and long to be the great medium of success in business, and the prelude to wealth. And I have made it a rule, too, to advertise in the dullest ttjncs, a long experience having taught me that money thus spent is well laid out, as, by keeping my business continually before the public, it has se cured me many sales that I would oth erwise have lost." Copartnership. A colored firm in Newark, N. J., having suffered some pecuniary embarrassments, rccently closcd business, ami the senior member gave the following "notis" to the pub lie : ;'Dc disholution of coparships here tofo resisting twixt mo and Moses Jones, in do barber profession, am herc tofo resolved. Pussons who ose must pay do inscriber. Dcm what de form ose must call insolved. on Jones, as dc furra is LIGUE JOHNSON. B01 The following verdict was ren dered by a coroner's jury, and is now on file in the clerk's office in one of the counties ol Iowa: "We find the deceased came to his death by a visitation from God, and not by the hands of violence. We find up on the body a pocket-book, containing S2, a check on Fletcher's bank for 82 50, and two horses, a wagon and some batter, eggs and feathers. Sympathy. j ihr a:- vropah-jffimMIttribute or Omo 'Pf blfthjifi mind by which ire"; (0UjJonW 'UlJjJTc3 in the 'feelings -r in- feregiea iM8 ieeiir.gs or interests of others. This emotion is. excited and-, brought into life, not only by tho pains and trials of others, but also WpBBH oya-artd their pleisuxes. - When-.,it;SrJ m oar boaona by ta iMMH w-c are led to commiserate, -to ith, and give consolation, so ! are able, to those in need.- t.er'doatfc when we- behoh parted ones, for those whom they dear- ly and tenderly loved, it is then that our sympathies are called forth, and v. e are induced to administer the balm of comfort which only a sympathising heart can supply. In all cases of misery or pain this natural attribute of the heart prompts us to afford succor and relief Such acts from the satisfaction of hav ing done righr, always fully repay those who engage in them, and yield as much happiness to him who gives, as to him who is the recipient of such sympathy It is a duty that we owe to those who suffer, net merely to sympathize with them, but let our sympathy lead 0 ac tion by charity and kindness. Month ly Offering. Brief, bvt Common Histop.y. I saw him first at a social party. He took but a single glass of wine, and that at the request of a young lady with whom he conversed. I saw bim next, when he supposed he was unseen, taking a glass to satisfy the slight desire formed by his social in dulgence. He thought there was no danger. I saw him again with those of his own age. meeting at night, to spend a short time in convivial pleasure. He said it was only innocent amusement. I met him next, late in the evening, in the street unable to reach home. I took him thither. lie looked ashamed when we next met. I saw him next reeling in the street. A confused stare was on his counte nance, and words of blasphemy were on bis tongue. Shame was gone ! I saw bim yet once more. He was pale, cold, motionless, and was carried by his friends to his last resting plaee. injLhe sjuaJl .jjtoeeasion that i'ollowp.i every head was cast down, and seemed to shake with uncommon anguish. His father's gray hairs were gciug to the grave iu sorrow. His mother wept to think that she had ever given birth to such a child. T-o Mrs. Partington on Longevity. j I ' ! 1 "I've always noticed," said Mrs. Par tington, dropping her vo:ce to the key that people adopt when they are dispos ed to be philosophical or moral, "I've always noticed that every year added to a man's life has a tendenev ta'make him older, just as a man who goes on a jour ney finds, as he jogs on, that every mile stone brings bim nearer to where he is going, and farther from where he start ed. I haven't, got tho exorbitance of feeling that I had once, and I don't bc lievo I shall ever have it ayiin if I live to the age of Mcthusaleh, which, heaven knovs, I don't want to. And, speaking! of long life, I haven't any desire to live I longer than the breath remains in my body, if it isn't mora than eighty years ! 1 wouldn t wish to be a centurion, and the idea of surviving one's factories always gives me a disrgreeablc censori ousness. But whatever is to be, will be. and there i:i no knowing how a thing will take place till it turns out." I ! Brazil. Brazil now occupies a very respectsble position in the list ot pow erful nations. Her government is sta ble and permanent. There is considera ble popular liberty, and the masses of her people are progressing rapidly in civilization. Her military and naval resources are large. She has a fleet of sixty-two vessels of war, of which thirty are fine stamers. Her navy is more efficient and larger than ours. She has a standing army of 25,000 men, and her national guard numbers 400,009. A Quick Quarter. A boy woikcd haTd all day for a quarter ; he bought apples, and took them to town and sold them on the street for a dollar he bought a sheep. The sheep brought him a lamb, and tbe fleece brought him anoth er dollar. He bought another sheep. The next spring he had two lambs and a yearling sheep. 1 he three lleeces he sold for three dollars, and bought three more sheep. He now had six, with a fair prospect. He worked there he found an opportunity, for hay, corn and oats and pasturing for his sheep. He took the choicest care of them and 10 in had a flock. Their wool enabled him to buy a pasture for them, and by the time he was 21 he had a fair start in life, and all from the quarter earned in one day E6i One of the most curious f;cs,rr eently revealed by the publication of custom house tables is, that there j was imported into this country last year j three hundred thousand pounds of opi um. Of this amount, it is estimated, from reliable data, that not more than one-tenth is used for modical purposes. The habit ofcaling opium is known to be spreading rabidly among lawyers, doctors, clergymen, and literary men; and enormous quantities are used by the manufactures of those poisonous liquids which are dealt out in drinks in the sa loons anil grogcries that infest every city and village in the counlrv. i j ' SU Beware of a silent dog end1 cannot- which increase the ig the cahae? 2 JBiy"Cbaff generally arises from tread ing on a man's corn. e& A man of no account a ready money trader. When does a man become four handed? When he doubles his fists. COT WLy are the inhabitants of Illi nois the sickliest ? Kaze they are all 111. peoople. SSr" h is a lean puppy like a man in meditation? Kaze he he is a thin cur. Sf& Advertisement by a lady on the the shady side of forty, "Lost, a host of charms." The man who makes jokea at mntrimony hta probably found matri mony no joke. J)Cotno out here and I 11 lick the whole of ye as the urchin said when he saw a jar full of sugar-sticks in a candy store window on a Christmas morning. 83S A lady being asked to wait, gave the following sensible and aud appro priate answer : "No, thank yon, sir I have hugging enough at home." ta.An Englishman's lunch a slice of 'am, a honion, six beggs, and a quart of hale. 8 Among the vows that a man has to mak at Japan when he is married, is only that he will find plenty of tea and rice for his wife during ler life. 8Si Mrs. Speckles says tho best veg etable pill yet invented is an applo dumpling; for destroying a gnawing at the stomach i. is a pill which r. y always idled oil. flgi, When you have quarreled with anybody, and a lawyer urges you to go to law to redress your wrongs, you may remember the dog, who said so to the cat. aud then ran off with her dinner. A White Mountain guide thua philosophically explains why it 14 that y Dung ladies are more venturesome on the edges of precipices than the youths of the sterner sex : "A gal," says he, when she gets into, a ticklish place, alters expects a feller will be a holding on to her, and she. does it just out o' bravery bravado. 1 But a man when he makes a fool out of himself in that way, knows he's got to staud it himself." A tasty old bachelor perpetates the following : "It is singular how pi ous new clothes make people. For a month after the Misses Flirt get man tillas, they are at church thrcs times a day. Should the women paint heaven, the wall would be all festooned with French bonnets and bocade satins." Japan a Paradise for Old Maids, A prominent feature of our social sys tem is also left out by their domestio oode. and that is old maids. No single women are allowed in Japan; probably because they are cousilered dangerous members of society. Every man is al lowed one legal wife, and as many sec ond wives as his means will permit him to support. The second wives are selec ted by law by the poorer classes of soci ety, whose relatives arc unable to main tain them, and the children are all adop ted by the legal wife, who is the only acknowledged mother. The old rule is therefore, reversed in Japan, where, in stead of a boy uot knowing his own father, hundreds do not know their own mother. At St. Barthelemy,in Franec,an old peasant lay on his death -bed. Hit son went to fetch the curate, and stood knocking at bis doc- for three hours. "Why didn't you knock louder?" said the curate. "I was afraid of waking you," answer ed the clown. "Well, what is the matter?" "I left father a dying, sir." "You did ? Well, he must be dead by this time !" ' O, no, sir," said tho simple ton-ncigb- 1 I I.n ,,.,,,,1.1 Vtim I tl 1 .ill .-.I tu i.i nvuiu U.uw. w . . .. I came back." TnE Drukkard s Will. I leave to. society a ruined character, a wretched example and a memory that will soon, rot. I leave to my parents the rest of their, lives, as much sorrow as humanty, in a feeble and decreped state, can sustain, I leave to ray brothers and sisters as much mortification and injury as I well could bring on them. I leave to my wife a broken heart, a life of wretchedness aud shano, to weep over my premature death. I give and bequeath to cch of my children, poverty, ignorance, a low char act r. and a rcmembranc1 that their father was a monster.