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New York dispatch. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1863-1899, February 14, 1864, Image 2

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to escape me! My God 1 they are the head and
fcont of the whole uprising against us I Moreover
# ——But what ia that noise at the door?”
CHAPTER VL
CONBAD LEON.
Before the notable could reply, a man pressed
life way through the guards at the entrance of
the apartments, and advanced swifty to the spot
Where Lona was standing, greeting her in terms
Of tender endearment.
With a qilick cry of joy and relief, she threw
Iheraelf into his arms, responding:
“ My own dear brother I”
She sobbed upon his breast.
Forey and the notable again exchanged glances.
A profound hush came over the assemblage, all
eyes becoming fixed upon the new comer.
This, then, was the person Gorro had charged
With the assassination of Major St D-nis. He was
tall, and splendidly-proportioned, twenty-three
years of age, strong and agile, with a noble and
liandsome countenance, which betokened him
the possessor of no common spirit. His fore
bead was broad and high, his complexion deli
cately bronzed, and his eyebrows dark and heavy,
ehading a pair of eagle-like eyes, which were
quick and penetrating in their glances, yet full
Of humanity and intelligence He was dressed in
an ordinary citizen's suit, over which was thrown
an ample serape His dauntless bearing gave
the linibh to a tout ensemble that filled the das
tardly soul of Gorro with fear.
She false witness shook like an aspen.
“What isthemtauiug of this scene, Lona?’
aeSed the brother. “ Tell me all!”
The maiden explained how she had arisen
Carly to gather wild flowers; how sne had dreised
beeself in the rioh costume her father loved,
and seated hcr-tlf to await his coming; how
Gorro had appeared, with the report of having
found a corpse in the viemity : how she had im
prudently gone with him, in the excitement and
apprehension his information had aroused; and
how he had seized her and taken her to the
enemy’s pickets, etc. etc.
The effect of these revelations upon the lis
tener can readily bo imagined. He turned
a menacing pair of eyes upon the vagabond,
placing his hand on a concealed weapon.
The wretch quailed like a whipped cur, and
fineaked behind Furey and the notable, at the
same time calling upon the general for protec
tion.
The brother had come home one day, a few
months before, when Gorro was paying court to
Lona in the clearing, and had observed him
Without being noticed, so tuat he knew him at a
glance.
“Senor Gorro,” eaid the indignant brother,
making an involuntary movement toward the
cowering liar and traitor, “ come out here, where
I can have a good view of you. What statements
have you been making about my sister ? Let mo
hear you repeat them to my face.”
The villain did not utter a word. He only
stared at the powerful frame of his enemy, and
trembled.
j “ Coward I” whispered Forey in his ear, “why
do you gi ft way to craven fears ? Am I not able
to protect you ? Tell me all that you know about
this brother, speaking boldly and frankly. Is he
pile man that,you saw attack Major St. Denis?”
The villain was already keenly alive to the fact
that he had been both rash and foolish in the
concoction of bis accusations against Doiia Lona.
He wished that he had left the responsibility of
6he major's death with the terrible avenger,
Where he had found it. He had not sufficient
Courage to carry out his false witness, and ac
cordingly, alter some hesitation, he replied:
, “ Ho, your excellency, this is not the man. I
sCiu> one I saw was quite a different person. It
Was hardly daylight when I saw him ”
“ Well, describ - him, as nearly as you can.”
. He made a pretense of doing so, furnishing a
J. rf vague general.tii s that would have applied
to one fourth of tbe persons in the assemblage.”
“ And this is all you can say about it ?”
“That’s about alt. The man I saw was evi
dently not this one.”
“ Well, how about the girl ? Perhaps you are
mistaken in her identity ?”
The cold sweat of terror broke out on Gorro’s
face. He writhed belween his two fires. He
doubted not that Furey would imprison him, if
lie.abandoned the charges he had made against
Lona. On the other hand, if he persisted in his
false accusations, he was in danger from the
brother, who was intently watching his every
action.
‘.‘lt is hard to testify, sir.” he finally blurted
Out, “ with such an enemy as that, standing
yeady to put a bullet through.you.”
“You need have no fear* on that score,” said
thegeneral. “ You shall have the fullest protec
tion.”
He raised his forefinger, and several of his
Egyptians drew near.
“ Speak,” Forey then comnunded. “Is your
testimony respecting Dofia Lona Leon Briefly
'it no ?”
“It is,” he ventured, with the energy of des
peration.
The brother moved a step nearer to him, with
a face indicative\pf suppressed indignation.
“ No violence here, Senor,” said the general.
“ Allow mo to ask you a few questions. What
arc your relations to this young lady ?”
•‘ I am her foster brother 1”
He spoke in French, t > Forey’a surprise, with
fluency and corn ctoess.
.“.And how does it happen that you are only
her fostai-brother ?’’ continued the general, not
thinking of any better wedge with which to open
the secrets of the family.
“It happens thus, sir,” he replied: “for the
• Btaple reason that we were not born of the samo
parents 1" * . ' •
A general laugh followed this but was in
stantly suppressed.
“ ParbU cried Fc >i <
“ What do you mean by How
flare you answer me in that man
ner ?’
of an ardent and undaunted na
ture played on the young man s features as he re
plied :
“ I have yet to learn, sir, that a person abus
ing a lady on the testimony of a lying vagabond
is entitled to any especial respect I”
The general’s face flushed scarlet.
“ Sacre Dieu! do you address that imputation
to me, sir ?” he demanded, half choking with
rage.
“ I address it, sir, to every individual of the
human family to whom it may apply. If the
Coat is your’s, sir, wear it.”
The silence of the assemblage grew profound.
The obeerveis wire evidently star led by the
Words and manner of the new comer.
It was easy to see that the high-minded bro
ther was out of patience with the general for re
ceiving the accusations of such a transparent
liar as Gorro against the counter-assertions of
his noble souled and truthiul sister.
“ This style of address may do for the Theatre
Comique,” sneered Forey. after a pause, “ but it
yiH not-greatly advance your interests in this
quarter. Are you aware of the peril in which
your Bister is standing ? She is charged, as you
gee, by Don Ignacio Gorro, with the assassina
tion of one of my most valued officers. What is
your answer to the accusation?”
“My answer ? Behold it I"
He whipped out a machete (a knife much used
inMtxioo to cut bushes) and scornfully indicated
lorro with its point.
A glance at the craven wretch was sufficient.
Te had changed color at cur hero’s sudden dis
play of the naked steel, and stood trembling, a
miserable object of contempt.
.“ I mean,” pursued Forey, with an impatient
gesture, “ what is your defence?”
“This, sir,” replied the brother, laying his
machete on his arm. “ I know of no defence so
likely to be respected in this quarter as this !"
This bitter implication of the general’s hou
jsiy and good faith increased the. wrath previ
>usly aroused in the mind of that official.
“If you are. really in pursuit of truth,” pur
sued our hero, “ you need not go far to find it.
Look at the face of the accuser and then at my
aster’s, On which of them is reeling the im
>ress of truth and honor ?”
The telling effect of these words was evinced
>y a murmur of applause from the little leaven
if honesty in tbe lump of the assemblage.
“ What is your name, sir ?” demanded Forey.
“ Conrad Leon.”
“ Your business 1"
“My present business is to clear my sister
from the calumnies of a villain. Shall we pro
ceed any further in this matter ? Shall I bring
the neighbors of Don Ignacio Gorro to certify
that he is a lying vagabond ? If there is any pre
tense of keeping up the forms of justice in this
case, sir, I shall take pleasure in showing up
the corrupt and worthless character of this ac
cuser.”
The general looked uneasy, as well as excited
and wrathful. His manner very plainly betrayed
his conviction that he had caught a tartar. The
notable suddenly touched him on the arm.
“ If I might be so bold, general,” said thia per
sonage in a whisper, “I ”
“ Oh, certainly—speak freely.”
“ I would leave things here just as they are, a
few momenta, while I give you my opinions.”
Forey led the way to a private apartment, af
ter a few injunctions to the chief officer of the
guard, and the notable conilnued:
“If I were in your place, General Foray, I
would not attempt to prove Doiia Lona Leon
guilty of the charge Senor Gorro has imputed to
her. She’s a woman, and the sympathies of your
friends are with her. Besides ”
He hesitated, as if momentarily at a loss how
to express his views in the most politic terms.
“ What would you say? that the accused is in
nocent?”
“ Exactly. Such is my conviction, candor com
pels me to say, and I doubt not that it is shared
by every intelligent person around us.”
“ Just so,” said Forey, “ and you think that
this Senor Gorro is lying ?”
“ Precisely. His every word and action prove
itl”
A shadow crossed Forey’s face.
“I ll try the rascal by a drum-head court-mar
tial,” he muttered, “ and shoot him on the
spot!”
“ No, no -if I may speak my seniiments freely."
“Go on, senor.”
“In this world, we must take people as we find
them. We must work by their passions and
vices when they have no virtues and principles
to serve us. If you demand a clean conscience
of every man that approaches you, you will soon
be left solitary and friendless. A better way is
to employ these dirty tools in the dirty work
for which they are fitted. Let us apply these
rules of action to the case in point. This
Gorro knows where the Leons reside, and
is probably familiar with every foot of the sur
rounding country. He is just the man to ferret
out the father of these young people. He has
placed himself in such a position toward this
family, that his safety depends upon its destruc
tion. He will serve you, therefore, with all pos
sible energy and zeal. I counsel you to give him
his commission and employ him.”
Forey reflected on these observations.
“ But what shall we do with the charge he has
made against the girl ?” he finally asked.
“ Merely remark that one witness is not suffi
cient to establish a charge of that magnitude,
and dismiss it.”
“ What! and let the young people go ?’’
“Oh, no! You can retain them on vague
charges of complicity with the assassination, or
with any other act of hostility that has been
lately committed. As to giving them their freedom,
that is out of the question, if I may speak freely.
I am firmly persuaded that the Hugo Leon re
ported in your red book is the father of those
people, and that he is our dreaded foe.”
The general mused earnestly, assuring himself
what charge he could advance as a sufficient
warrant for imprisoning the brother and sister.
He asked the notable’s advice in the premises.
“ There are at least a dozen charges on which
you can detain them,” replied that worthy. “I
am persuaded that a man of that stripe would
not take the oath of allegiance. There are secret
plots, secret correspondence, secret aceusations
of all kinds, from which one may ba chosen. It's
my opioion that you have only to question this
young Leon a little, to unearth mystery and hos
tility enough to justify you in shutting him up,
and his sister with him.”
The general bowed assent, rubbing his hands.
He saw bis way clear.
“I’ll dispatch this Gorro at once to hunt the
father,” he said. “ I’ll call him in here.”
“ rind I would not let him know that you doubt
ed his word,” added the notable. “To know,
without seeming to know, is sometimes useful
and politic.”
Forey went to the door and beckoned to the
vagabond, who had kept his eyes fixed ia that
direction, under the impression that tbe confer
ence was big with his fate. He came in deathly
pale and trembling, expecting to be shot.
“Take a chair, senor,” said Forey, blandly.
“ We wish to ask you a few questions.”
The face of the vagabond brightened, as he
sank into the proffered seat.
“ As I remarked before this young man came,
you will be useful to us -not as a witness. I
have concluded to abandon that matter. You
must see that your unsupported testimony, how
ever truthful and trustworthy, is not sufficient,
in strict law, to warrant us in pressing the accu
sation to a trial. We shall accordingly retain the
girl on another charge that has arisen (and her
brother with her), while you scour the neighbor
hood in quest of her father.”
The anxious expression which had lately rest
ed on the vagabond’s face, took its departure.
He was measurably relieved.
“Your excellency is too kind to me,” he said.
“I will do all in my power to find tbe elder Leon,
and to serve you in every way possible.”
“I do not doubt it. My success in arresting
all these people is your safety. You will be ac
tive and vigilant. I will send you to Major Du
Bur, with instructions for him to muster you in
as a lieutenant, and send you, duly equipped, and
at the head of a suitable force, to seize tbe head
of this mysterious family. You will report to me,
.either here or aboard the flag-ship, as time and
occasion may require.”
He conducted the overjoyed vagabond to a
member of his staff, and stated what was to be
done with him, sending them a vay together.
“ And now,” said Forey, on returning to the
notable, “ let us pursue this investigation. It’s
cirtain that these young people are enveloped in
a mystery that is worth knowing. We must solve
it.”
They returned to the midst of the assemblage
The brother and sister had been conversing
with each other in a low tone, during the absence
of the genual and their accuser, but no one
around them was tbe wiser for this conference.
They stood there, the centre of all glances, as
haughty, as commanding, as mysterious as ever.
The general drew near them.
“I have concluded, Doba Lona Loon,”he said,
“to dismiss this business indefinitely.”
Lona bowed, as a quiet expression of content
stole over her face.
“Then we can go, dear Conrad,” she whis
pered to her brother. “I am glad that the trou
ble is no worse. Let us begone.”
Don Conrad had remarked that there was
S' m< thing concealed behind the ambiguous dec
laiationof the French general, and had not ex
perienced that sense of relief which had come to
Lena.
“Do I understand that there is no charge re
maining against us?” he asked—“ that my sister
is free ?” /
“Not exactly. Certain questions have arisen
respecting you and your sister which require an
answer.”
■“ Please state them.”
“In the first place, there is a certain Leon
family in Mexico—one particular and well-known
family—that is believed to be actively opposed to
the work of regeneration with which I am
charged. Before you and your sister pass from
my presence, it is my intention to ascertain
whether you belong to the said family or not.
Pardon me for reminding you, as the warrant for
this inquiry, that your sister has refused to give
me any information respecting her relatives or
hereelf.”
An anxious expression came over Lona’s face
as she listened to these words. A shadow even
flitted across Don Conrad’s. They were evi
dently as much pained as surprised by the gene
ral’s allusions to a “certain Lou family.” They
conferred with each oth.r a moment, and the
brother then said :
“ I was not aware when I entered that the
name of Leon was under the ban of your suspi-
cion. I knew that my sisler ii d been falsely
charged with crime——”
“Hold! How did you know that?”
“A friend saw her brought into the square,
followed her here, heard the accusation, and
came and reported to me.”
“You were in the city, then, close at hand?”
“I was.”
“ The mystery settles on him, if I may speak
freely,” whispered the notable. “He is your
man I”
“I camo bore,” continued Conrad, “ presum
ing that my testimony concerning Gorro’s char
acter would clear her of the charge he had made
against her. It seems to have done so. We
will thank you for our freedom.”
“ Softly. What is the name of your father ?
What is your occupation, Senor Leon? Are you
in any military service ?”
The young man did not answer these ques
tions, but again conferred with his sister.
“Stick to him, general!” whispered the nota
ble to Forey, too excited to know that he was
getting impertinent. “He’s your man! The
unmasking of our terrible enemy is begun!”
‘‘Speak, Senor Leon,” commanded Forey.
“ Who are you, and what is your profession?”
A pin could have been heard to fall in the
silence with which the assemblage waited for the
answer to these questions.
“ Really, general, if I had foreseen that these
queries would be put to me,” our hero finally ob
served, with a cocl smile, “ I should have been
temped to avoid your presence; or, if I had
known that wo were of such importance in your
sight, I would have come better prepared to
answer them. As the case stands, let me inquire
on what grounds we are asked to unveil our fam
ily secrets? Where are our accusers? What
charges have been made against us? What par
ticular object is to be gained by communicating
oui affairs to you ?”
“You see how easy it is to ask questions,” put
in Lona, as her brother pau.-ed. “ Will you
oblige us with a few answers ?”
“We are not imparling information, Senorita,”
replied the French general, with a frown. “We
are seeking it. You will find it to your advan
tage to answer my questions.”
“So you eay,” rejoined Conrad, quietly. “Wo
may not be able to see the matter in that light—”
“ Silence I” interrupted the enraged general.
“You shall not trifle with me in this m inner!
Answer me without any delay, sir, a single ques
tion. Are you the son, or adopted son of Hugo
Leon, or not ?”
“ Are you really anxious io know ?” asked Con
rad, with a quiet smile.
“lam!”
“ Well, find out, then 1”
The wrath of General Foray, at this reply, was
terrific.
“Seize him—the low-lived vagabond!” he
shouted, turning to his guards. “ I’ll send him
in irons to the castle I Parbleu ! to Martinique I
Sacre Dieu ! to France!”
ITo be continued.!
rWritten for the Xew TorK Dispatch.)
AT TWO IN THE MORNING.
By ILbeaezer Sprout.
A room full of dancers,
In which the romancers
Might find fitting subjects
To All tip a page ;
Or the “corps ae dramatique,”
With feelings ecstatic.
Coming down from their attic,
Might behold just the scene
That would grace any stage.
There’s the sweetest of girls.
With the darkest ot ourls,
Waltzing like mad
With a queer-looking beau,
Whose boots seem to crimp,
For he's got quite a limp,
Or p’raps Cupid (the imp),
Without any mercy
Is pinching his toe.
I can’t help but wonder.
If that beauty yonder
Would freely consent
To go to the altar.
With all her sweet graces.
The brightest of laces,
Aiiu an Her rich luces.
If fate should compel her
To be led by a halter.
The supper is fine,
And who would decline.
As thiihcrwaid soon
The crowd gladly presses; z
Here lovers are billing,
The waiters are willing,
And constantly spilling
The richest ol cream
On the ladies’ rich dresses.
Where the ladies retire
Is a place to admire—
Oi the mysteries there
I’m unable to ten.
Such shoes' fit lor fairies ;
How balmy the air is,
Tho’ i he scene often varies,
Ever ’round sueb a .-poc
There's a mystical spell.
In the gentlemen’s room
There’s Havana perfume,
And a very strong odor
Of whisky and rum ;
While some are smoking,
Other.* arc joking.
And not a few choking.
While many, indeed.
Look decidedly glum.
The coachmen are swearing
While taking an airing
At two in the morning
Upon the cola pave.
“ Jist see how they linger,”
(A blow on a finger),
“ They’re havin’, by ginger,
Another new gallop
Before they can lave ”
Keokuk, Feb. 9th.
Friencu of the Gossip—The fourteenth day ot February is
very near at hand, anelwhat vast preparations are maki.ig
all over the land lor that great annual glorification. We
don t know why that day should be sa.cred to tne memory
of St. Valentine any more man any other -what Hap
pened Mm? Will somebody be kind enough to imor nm?
We know all about St. Patrick’s day and me destcucti >n
01 snakes, toads and Jrogs, though that comes of our having
been bom among the bogs of the isxnerald isie w e know
all about “Michaelmas” and “ April Fool 8 Day ’ (the lat
ter we celebrate on account of its being the anniversary
of our birth). But the ‘ fourteenth of February” is a mys
tery to us. We can’t see why peoole th juln have a license
to wake fools of themselves u ion that day. Ia our c >un
tiy experience we have.always observed a terrible
squawking among the getse. and old women inform us
ti at ganders invariably choose their mates to live wicn
accoi ding to most holy goose ordinance at that time We
rather think mat is correct, too lor later i-i me month we
have seen many an ole- white livered, streaked eyed.gan
der strutting around with one, two and even threshes •,
hi own i roperty, to have and to hold—and froiwt we
have reasoned that that was where Joe Smitn got his first
icoa of Mormnnism. We don t be ieve in such doings,
either in g ose life or any other; one goose is as much as
ai y sander ever cugnt to try to manage and if a man
gets more than one feminine under nis protection there is
apt to be a collision, and me first thing you know some
body gets hurt, though it’s always policy to seep suit
about it. Accidents always will Happen, and those that
get their fingers pinched will find there is bat little aie ia
crying out. It’s better to sit down quietly and console
oneseif with a sentiment like this :
“ Full forty dollars would I give,
If we’d continue red apart,
For though he’s made my sperrit live
He’s surely bust my heart.”
And let it go at that
Bui (hen this lx a pretty goad world after all, thourh
we noticed In the gossip of last week that some mlscMef
ipaking, evil disposed retailer of mysteries undertook to
mtkd out that there was something wrong somewhere or
at least that things were “strange—passing strange ”
We expect it would ta ea very large head to understand
everything but it was always strange to us tnat
people could not attend to heir own affairs, and not be
meddling with things that did not concern them. It nev
er struck us as anything worthy investigation if some’
body did come out with a new “Moire Antiqae” every
month, whose husband got only a weekly stipend of
fourteen dollars. How ooes our goaslper, who mates it
her business to notice such things know tnatsaid “ loire”
vas not the result ot hitting down quietly at home wi h
a sewing machine or a pen making; no draw whatever
upon the husband’s hard earning* Stranger things have
happened. At any rate, we would not be airaid to bet
our beht bonnet, that the dresses never came by prying
into the affairs of her neighbors and passing remark i on
their actions.
Don’t think, Madame Gossip, that we are hit. We assure
you upon our moaestj’, that we are not. Our best dress
is a twenty five cent delaine, bought previ >us to war
times, and we don’t think we ever even saw any 1 M fire
Antique’ unless it’s th a splendid crimson stuff theyusein
chun hes to trim pulpits with.
Wishing everybody luck we will say adios.
Millie Mom.
A CHAPTER ON COURTSHIP.
There was maav affecting ties which made me hanker
after Befiy Jane. Herfather’s farm jiuedourn; rneircows
and ourm-quencht their tburst at the same soring- our
o)d mar»s both had stars in their forreds; the ineai'es
broke cut In both families a nearly the same period: our
parents (Betsy’ s and mine) slept regularly every Sun-av
in tbe same meeting house, and the naburs used to oo
surve— How thick the Waras and the Peasleys air ” It
was a sublime eight In the spring of the year to see our
mothers (Betsy's and mine) with their gowns oin’d un
that they couidn tsile ’em, aft ,cshuni ely bi en sno to-
Ecthei and aboosin the nabers Altho I nankered iutense
\ a £ ur ob J ect o.( n ?y afteckshuns, I darent tell her of
the fires that was rajin in my ina>‘ly ouzziain Ud trv to
C< it, but my tongue-would kerwollup u,» igiu the roof of
my mowih and stick thar iiu« death to a decease! U 1
kan or a country poetma tor to his offisi, while my heart
> barged agin my ribs like an old fashioned wheat tUte
agirst a barn floor. ’T vas a calm, still nite in Joon. A l
nature was husnt, and nary zeffer disturbed the sere-n
feller ce I set with Betsy Jane on the fense ot h -.r father s
paster. We’d bin rempin thru the woods, kullen flours
and drlvi n the woodchuck from his native (air (h.j to
speak) with long sticks.-e-WaH. we set ihar on the fente a
rwjr.pin our leet two and fro, blushing as red as the Bal
dinsv ide school house when it was first namted, and
looking very simple, I make no doubt. My left arm
vias okepied in ballansio myself on the tense whi’e
my rite one was woundid luvinLv round her' waste
I cleared out my throat and then tremblingly sed •
“Retsev, you're a gazelle.” I thought that air was party
file. 1 waited to see what affeck it would have on her
Ii evidently didn ttetch the gal. for she jumne.d uo and
sea : ‘You area sheep!” Sez I, “Betsey. I chink vary
much of you I don t believe a word you say so there
—now cum!” With such observashun she. hitched away
from me “I wish there was •- inde.rs to my sce ’ .sail I
“so that you could see some of my reelins. There is fire
enuff ir here,” sed I; striking iny b .zzum with mv fUt “to
bile all the corn beer ana turnuns in the naberh >o t V«-
M-oviusand the critmr ain’t a circumstiiiH.” She ho wad
her her'down and commenst cha wing toe strings of her
sv nb« nnet ‘O, could you know the. s*e ‘.mGs nit“S 1w >r
ry threw with on your account, h-w vktl. ; < has to
le attractive to we, aid how my liml p has h- i»k y.o
vouldr.’t dowt me Gase on this wastin form, look »ioon
•h< se here sunken cheeks—” Ish >uld ii-ive continnered
oil in this strane probly ior sum time, but un’ortunitly (
lost my balunee and’ell over into the paster k*r s-nish
tearin’ my close *nd severely damagin’ myself giuerally.
NEW YORK DISPATCH.
Betsey Jane s >■ u>.g to my a'Si ariee r i doob'e quick i a.»
arid draggec m. 4 h. Tnen drapin’ herself uo io her full
bite, she sed : 1 won’tlist-.n to your noose'-se >.i u i >
Jes >aj rhe strate r what your - diivm’ t I y„u
mean gettin’ hitched, !'//<. in ” I con Jdered that aireauif
lor all practical p irpuss. s. and Betsey Jan ana £ orooeed
eo immcjitely to the parson’i and were made one xhat vei y
nite.
‘ Bld TUINGI Of ice. ’
There, tbe strap of my skate is some loa,e. Kneel down
and buckle ii, you »tu;dai Don t squeeze my ankle;
Lock at that siout woman groveiioa ab ut on those absu l
Shell Groove skates. Idaresa she <hi ks hcr.se forciiy
VXhat < fiioi cery I Venus on t e ua f shell skates. Wmt
are those i’tie to* tr o i- r, you tiresome man? O, f.»r tne
calcium lights! What nonsense to light up the j>nl at
night—the goodness knows the mono is bid rough! Th r•,
I’m down—now, tiow could you? Don’t—there’s a nia
on tbe bridge 10-king at us. Look! tncre. s uizzie Craw
ford with an Englisn Dork-pie hit on. Why doesn ts i©
w£ar a krile and fork in it? Doesn’t want to cut n r
frimdsr <), you naughty man, t<» make such a xu.nd
pun. Well, I declare—Currie Hawkins m a » lomar .ns
—the boldness os some gi-.is! Is i’c it nice g iig under th •.
bridge? 1 w sli the pond was LunneLd over—be qu et
now! O, Here’s Mrs Tyuht skating in a skv-scri<orl
Good graclou.'! woi ’t sne g t ir—tae wind, I m an. H id
my hands while I skate backwards Aurelia
couldn’t skate backwardsso, not even with Augustine -Hi
verchips holding her. Dia you learn on parlor skates!
There’s no skating in Mexico i> there? 1 read tuat i o
. was worth four shillings a Dound there Or wa? it in
China? uh. my; tnere's aunty’s carriage on the baut
What a pity aunty’s too old and stout to skate ?—aa i has no
children to skate for her—no not even on oarlor skates
But then tour hundred thousand dollars! O, do I’t . love
aunty! Just do think—the four Me Florence gins -d m t
they look Dutch?—sucn complexions!— ankles?— l »u’c
see any —nor waists Follow them for safety—ao d tnrer
where they pass over. Is my hair tumbled ?—really !
don’t.
REMARKS BY /OSII BILLING L
Moral swashun consis in asking a man to do what he
aught to do without abkiog, and tnea beggin hiz pardon if
he refuses tu do it
I hav finally kum to the konk ushun that a good, relia
ble set ov bowels, is worth more tu a man tnan euuy
quantity ov branes.
Munc haffi charms to sooth a savage; this may be so,
but i wud rather iri a revolver on him ust.
It always seems to me that a left handed fiddler must
pla the tune backwards.
I nave oiten oln told that the best wa iz tu take a “bull
by the horns,” but i think in many lastanzes 1 snu 1 prefer
th*- * tail holt.”
The fust law ov nature iz tu steal: the sekund lav iz ti
hide ; and the third iz tu—steal again
Poverta acts the same onto a man’s branes az exercise
duz onto hiz boddy, givesan appetite.
I never kould cee enny use In making wooden gods mall
and female.
If tl e hart is rite the hed cant be very rong.
Tha tell me that females arc so scar.se in the far western
kuntry that a grate menny married wi umta are already
engaged tu their sekund ard third husbands.
N. B.—The above remarks are not intended to be per
sonal.
THE LADY AND THE TELEGRAPH.
An old ladvhad given permission for some wires to be
placed on her house, where, thev were supported by a
pole. After they had been in po-ition some ew weeks,
.the old lady waited upon the principal telegraph author
ity , and stated that she had a complaint to make. “The
fact is, sir,” she said, “ilum teleg a?h messages won’t
allow me to get any sleep of anight; I lays awake, a
tossing about, and can’t get a wink f,r the noise At
first, sir, I didn’t mind it as much, and things were not as
bad as they are now ; but la ely. sir, there have been a
deal more messages I don’t think ei.her, sir that yon
are aware of all that’s said along them wires; there’s
much that hadn’t ought to be; fori can assure you sir,
that very much that’s «aid there—and 1 iiave to lay and
listen to—no respectable woman ought to hear, solve
come at last to coinplain to you, sir, hoping that it mav
be stopped ” The g ntleman to whom 'his singular com
plaint was made. was, of course aware that the noise
complained of was the wind in the wires; tne messages
of a doubtful character were the emanations of a truthful
imagination on the part o' the old lady. He, however,
pacified her by stating that, in future young wo nen of
great respectability were to be substituted at tlie office for
the young men who formerly worked there, alter which
he received no additional complaints from the wakeful
and imaginative old dame.
A YANKEE TRICK.
The following anecdote is characteristic:
Juß? before ine Declaration of Independence a Yankee
pecdJti started down to New York to sell a lot of bowls
and dishes he had made of maple Jonatn.au traveled
over the city, askii g everybody to buy h s wares, but no
one was disposed to purchase. It haopened that a British
fleet was then laying in the ha’borot' New York, an 1
Joi.atban struck upon a plan of selling his dishes. He got
a naval uniiorm by hook or by crook, (tor hi dory doesn’t
tell where he got it) and star ing up town, one morning,
asked a merchant if he had any nice wooden ware, as
the commodore wanted a lot for the fleet The merchant
replied that he had none on h ind bat mat there was
tome in town, and if he would send in that af ernoon he
would supply him with pleasure. “Very good,” said our
naval officer, ‘ I will cad ’ Jonathan now cut for home
by the shortest route, and he had scarcely dt ffed nis bor
rowed p umage before down came the merchant, who
seeing that Jonathan had sold none of bls wares offered
to take the hole if he would deduct fifteen per cent., but
Jonathan said he’d be. gol darned if he didn’t take cm
home before he'd take a cent less than his first price The
merchant finally raid him down m gold the prue tor the
wooden ware, which laid on his shelves tor many a long
day thereafter; and Jonathan trotted home in nigh glee
at the success of his mane.uv er, while the march ant cursed
British officers ever alter.
CROOKED.
“You are rather a crooked character, Mr. Jones ”
“Bather, sir. But not quite so crooked as a tree! once
knew'. It was the tade-t b itternut lever saw S anding
close to it one day in a thunder storm. I saw a squirrel on
one of its top most branches. The lightning struck the
same branch about three feet above hi n, an t the squirrel
started. The light ing had to follow the grain of coursa,
ana the squirrel went straight down so crooked was
that tree, sir, that the squirrel, by my watch got co tho
bottom precisely three minutes before the lightning.”
“That’s a lie!” exclaimed the landlord. “A lie !—true
as any story ever was I afterwards sa w that tree cut
down and made into rails tor a hog pasture The hogs
would crawl through twenty times a day. and so crooked
x were them rails, that every time the hogs got out they
found themselves back in the pasture again 1”
INFORMATION WANTED.
An anxious inquirer writes to know whether the Pow
der Magazine is published montnly, and is considered a
sale magazine lor quiet taiDilies. als-o, whether mint
jullps will be any cheaper if a branch of the United
{States Mint is located in New York. Also whether dead
letters are ever known io revive after they reach t ie
Dead Letter Office, and if not, what is tbe use of s. n.l ng
th. m there? Also, whether navigators have to double
tr el/ capes in ail la titudes, or only in coni regions ? Also,
whether a school mast* r can be said to have no scholars
when he hue. two pupils in his eyes? If •distance
cnci amment to the view,” and said “ view” does n>t re
turn it within a reasonable time, has “distance” a legal
cause oi action, and is she entitled to recover?
A RISING YOUTH.
A newsboy ru he 1 into a retail shirt store in Second
street the other cay and thus accosted the proprietor:
“lay, mister, do2on retailshi< ts, h re? ’ •Yes, my sou ;
we have them to fit y<>u ar nvp, sniliingsa piece —very nice
ones. ’ “O, blazes I d n’t want a whole one. bat I seed oa
your sign, shirts, retail and wholesale,’a’d I thought you
n.i»;ht retail mine, mr it wants it bad ; a dog got nola of it
sne he wouldn ta let uI d a kilted him.” •Way don’t
your mother d end your clothes, bay ? ’ “'Veil ihar! ao
you think I got a mother ? lui i’i got a mother nor never
bad —as I knows on.” “You had b -stgo to the man over
the way. He can retail your old one.”
FUN.
There is much truth in the following remarks:
Fun should be cul i\ ated as a fine art, for it b altogether
a fine thing. Who evtrknew afunny man to ben bi!
one? On tbe contrary, is he rot nine times out of tea,
generous, humane social ami good? To bd sura he U
r un —it is a great thing It smooths the rough places of
hie; makes the disposition fresh and ro.ya* a ma. lea’s
kiss ; scatters bunsbice and flowers win-rever ic goes ; gives
the world, a round, jody countenance ; makes all the girls
as pretty as June roses, ana mankind one of the best fa al
jies out. We go in for lun. The man wno won’t cultivate
p, must keep a good half rod between us.
GIVE THE DEVIL HIS DUE
Thiz iz advise. I don’t kno who waz the author ov
it: it 1 did, 1 would go for rewarding film, either by sett
ov p’ated ware or a prize In the art union He ought te -v
rave a 2 story monament when he dize, with an eoitatf on
it, founded on lack ; he ought to be nursed in men’s mem
ory like a pleasant dremc th it afterwards turned oat tew
be true he ought tew oe sett tew tnusick. aod r>e sung in
conneckshan with the doxsaloge. ‘ Giv tne devil hiz due.”
Yung man, this advise waz got up ter yu. If ya ove the
d. vil enny thing, pay him off at once, ami then discharge
him, ana don’t hire him over agin at enny prise, fnai’s
what the author roe nt. Be honest, pay even the devit if
you owe him, but don’t owe him agio
HUSH IMPROMPTU.
The following was pick- d up in the street a few days
since, accompanying a little bunch of glossy brown hair,
which looked as it it had been pulled out with a due-tooth
comb :
Och, Biddy, my darlint.
Here's a lock of me hair,
An’ It there’s a snarl in it,
Devil a bit do I care.
Any how 1
I’m goin’ off, Biddy,
To light in the war—
Ye can take it. ana kap® It
Until the bloody row s o'er,
It ye like ;
But if ye don’t ye can take it to tne devil wid ye, be dad.
POLITE MISREPRESENTATION.
A worthy Hibernian, who was laboring under the delu
sion that men aud women meant w nat tney sail, was
tempted by a very cordial invitari >n trom a lady of dis
tinction to coil at her house. The servant opened tne
door so quick that her voice, was heara oy Dr. M , saying :
‘ Tell him lan not at home /” His Irish wit came to his
rescue, ttr he immediately said in a loud tone to the dar
key: “Tellyour mistress 1 have not called noon her tnis
evening, as she wished me.” Tne lady ran out, took tne
doctor by both hands, and laughed heartily at Ins igao
rar.ee oi the greatest institution of respectable life—lying.
HOSPITALITY.
A good story is told of the late Dr. Thyme, so well
known for his love of good eating, noon tha occasion of
an afternoon call upon the eccrentric Lord ft He wai
shown into the dining room, where he touni his lordship
akne and engaged in eating a choice little dinner, a ter
talking for some time, the doctor who was getting aua
gry at the sight, said. “My lord, I think it would be ao
great stretch mf hosui ality. were your lordship to sty,
’Doctor, pray do as I tun doing? ” “ Well, d.»ctor,’ snd
Lord B , “ pray do as lam doing—go home and eat
your own dinner.”
FOND HOPE DISAPPOINTED.
The following lines are taken from a hymn book which
a young lady had incautiously left behind her in the
chapel:
I look in vain—he does not come <
Dear, dear, what shall I do?
I cannot listen as I ought
Unless he listens too.
He might have come as well as not!
what plagues these fellows are!
111 be t he’s fast asleep at home.
Or smoking a cigar!
WHAT IS MAN ? AND WHCT 13 WOMAN?
Chemically sneaking a man is forty five pounds of car
bon and nitrogen, diffused through five unit a hili' pail
fulsof water.
Woman is-one hundred pounds of man. two bounds of
suk, ten pounds of cotton, and one pound of whaieooae
with an indefinite amount or futs and feathers, an I the
remainder in hoops.
UNSEASONABLE.
A philosophic and self-possessed ship capt tin was nass
mg through a churchyard at midnight, whan a snooted
ghost rose up ;rom behind a tombstone and aonroache '
him with menacing gestures. The ancient mariner e ;o!lv
raised his stick and ga c him a crack over the side of r -e
head, asking him - faiut he meant by being out of his
grave at so late an h ?ur!
CHANGE.
When the coquette settles into an old maid, it 13 not unu
sual to see her as staid and formal as sne was previously
versatile:
“ Thus weathercocks which, for a while,
Have turnf d about with every bUst,
Grow n cld, and destitute of oil.
Rust to a pci t, and fix atdast”
DANGEROUS.
One day a butcher, having ordered his new assistant to
bring the victim to the slaughter, .-/ho, not observing that
his superior was cross-eyed, until the very instant he was
drawing the blow, cried out in an exclamatory voice :
“ Sir, do you mean to strike where you look?” “ Yes.”
“ Well, you may hold the ox, then, I wont.”
EXPLICIT.
Everybody has heard of the famous letters that passed
between the adverse chiefs of Sir O’Connell and Tyrone,
t ie m„st laconic correspondence in history :
“Pay me my tribute, or if you don’t
, “O’Connell.”
“ I owe you no tribute, and if I did
“ O’Neil.”
A FAIR HIT.
Ai a Fair in w oodbury, a few days since, a dispute arose
fstc the identify o: a short gentleman Ladd, who h it
been mistaken r«r a tali bushy-whiskered party namen
Manly, a Jahy was appealed to to sett'e the q imt! > i
which she did bv nrom ;>tly decM n r that the one referr d
to was not at all Manty, but only a little Hid.
—a biii.d fiddler, on crossing a
narrow bridge, let fall bis instrument into the st-earn.
One "f 'be by slanders, after assisting in vain for its re
covery. told the unfortunate musician that he pitie I h s
ca e. * Oh, haug the ccwa,” cried Scrape, “ ’tis the fidde
I want.”
A good anecdote is told of Ali
Pasha, the Sultan’s grand vizier, recently, in Paris. A
lady, to whom this gentleman was introduced at a soiree,
hazarded the naive question : “ Is the Sultan married ?”
A great deal, madam,” was the Turk's reply.
Eliza Emery warns all the girls
in California to look out for her gay, deceiving, runaway
husband. David. Thinks he may be easily known : and,
to prove it, says : “David has a scar on his nose, where
I scratched it.”
An innocent young sportsman, in
order to shoot a squirrel on the top’ of a tall tree, climbed
another one near by ; and, on being asked his reason or
so foolish a freak, said that he “ didn’t want to strain his
gun by a long shot /”
The Poriland Argus asserts that an
old Jadvwhowas admiring the beautiful picture called
“ Saved,” remarked : “ It's no wonder that the poor
child fainted after pulling that great dog out of the wa
ter I”
A German physician giving evi
dence as to the cause of death in a case where a man had
been murdered bv strangulation, said : ‘ To the best of nis
knowledge and belief he lost his Ute by treasure on the
garottid artery 1”
“1 do not wish t > say anything
against the individual in question.” said a very polite gen
tleman, “but I would merely remark in the language >f
the poet, that to him, ‘truth is strange, stranger than fic
tion.’”
The Great Barrington Courier,
referring to Tupper’s line. “ A babe in the house is a well
spring or pleasure,” says: “It it is, we prefer to get water
from the pump.”
“ Tommy, what does b e-n-c h
sp r li?” “Don’t know, ma’am.” “What, you little
numbskull, what are you sitting on?” Tommy (looking
sheepish;—l don tnke to telL
ln a country church-yard we find
this ep'taph : ’‘Here lies the body of John Robinson, and
Ruth his wife : and underneath, this text; “The war
fare is accomplished.”
“I think I dow see a ne w/ee-ture
in this esse,” as the lawyer said when his client informed
him that he had plenty of money
Pulling too fine a point on it—■
the circulation of the rebel money' at the point of the bay
onet, which is done in some parts of tne Confederacy.
The Springfield TfepuMican asks
what military order is like a lady eiosstng the street on
aw et day ? Dress up in front and close up in the rear.
From our Cockney contributor :
Noah went into the biggest ship of his day, but some of the
biggest ships of out day go into Nore.
What language does an Arabian
child speak before it cuts its teeth ? Gum-Arabic, unques
tionably.
“I am on the £rai7 of a dear," as
the fellow said when he stepped on one of the female
street sweepers.
A rebel letter writer discussing
the raggid and shoeless condition of the rebel army of
Virginia, styles them “Lee's MiseralJes ”
Why is King, the pugilist, like a
man who is making love to the girls ? Because he’s a war
King.
Many who think themselves the
pillars of the church are only its sleepers.
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Notice to Tax-Payer?.
Office of th® Commissioners of Taxes and)
Assessments. Nc 32 Chambers street >
New York, Jauuarv 9, 1864 )
Notice is hereby given tnat the ASSESSMENT ROLLS
of the REAL ana PERSONAL ESTATE of the Chy and
County of New York, for the year 1861 will be open tor
inspection ana review from and at r MONO AY, January
11. 1864, and will remain open tin the 39th day of April,
1861, tor the correction of errors and the tqualization of
the assessments of the aforesaid Rea* and Personal Es
tate of the City and County ot New York. All persons
beiu viiig themselves to be aggrieved must make apodia
tlon to the-'ommissioners during the period above‘men
tioned, in order to obtain the relief provided by taw The
Act of 1859 providts mat “During the time tne books
shall he open to public inspection, as hereinbefore provt
de.d. application may be made by any pers >n considering
hiroselr by the assessed valuati >n of his real or
p» rscnal estate, to have the same corrected.” If such
application be made tn relation to the assessed valuation
of the real estate, it must be male in writing, stating the
ground of objection thereto, and thereupon theCommli
s). l eis riia 1 examine into the complaint and i '. in th ir
judgment, the assessment is erroneous, they sha’l came
the same to be corrected If such application be rnaie
in relation t the as sessed valuation of personal estate,
the applicant shall be examined under oath by the said
Commissioners, who shall oe authorized to administer
such oath, or any ot them: and if, in his or their judg
ment, the assessment is erroneous, thev shall cause tne
same to bo corrected, and kx the amount of sucn assess
ment as they may believe to be just, and deciare their
decision tnereon within thirty days after such application
sha I have been made to (hem. No reduction shall be
mad’- by the Board of Supervisors of any assessment on
real and personal estate imposed under this act, unless it
shxli appear under oath or affirmation, that the party
aggrieved was unable to attend witilia the period pre
scribed for the correction of taxes, by reason of sickness
or absence from the city.
n 'I: WILLI AMSON.) Commissioners
J. W. AijLEN. > of Taxes and
J. W. BROWN. j Assessments.
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A PURELY VEGETABLE COMPOUND
A PURFJ.Y VEGETABLE COMPOUND.
A PURELY VEGETABLE COMPOUND.
A PURELY VEGETABLE COMPOUND.
A PURELY VEGETABLE COMPOUND.
It has stood the test of analysis and experteuco,
and the “ Amboline” is a household neces
sity wherever it has been used.
IT PREVENTS HAIR FROM FALLING OUT OR TURN-
ING PREMATURELY GRAY; CAUSES IT TO GROW
ON BALD HEADS ; ERADICATES DANDRUFF ;
CURES DISEASES OF THE SCALP; IS A
PREVENTIVE FOR NERVOUS HEAD
ACHE ; AND AS A DRESSING,
IMPARTS HEALTH AND PLEAS
ANTNESS TO THE HEAD.
IT IS SPECIAILY ADAPTED TO PROMOTING THE
GROWTH AND COLOR OF CHILDREN’S HAIR,
THE CROWNING GIFT OF BEAUTY.
What are classical features or natural grace,
What the lily and rose of the loveliest face,
Unless one more gift crowns these attributes rar®
That “ Glory of Women,” luxuriant hair ?
If this ye possets not. be comforted still, *
For this climax of beauty is yours if ye will.
Yea, a shower of dark fibres your brows shall adoro
With a gloss like the leaf’s in the sunshine of mora
And shall flow o’er your shoulders, rich, silken serose
If you use, at your toilet the famed Ambolin®,
What Nature denies, with her substitute win—
A growth that e’en Time cannot whiten or thin.
Remember what nostrums have failed to achieve
Amboline will accomplish—useandßßLiKvai
We append certificates of Dr. Chilton, a Chemist o:
world wide reputation, and of some of the wealthiest and
most respectable citizens of this and neighboring cities
who are now using It, to which attention is directed
No 93 Prince Strbbt, New York, )
March 3, 1863 |
We have made a chemical analysis of a preparation
called “ Amboline,” put up by Messrs Kendall & Co.
It was found to be entirely free from metallic and mineral
substances.
The elements of its composition can do the head no in
jury ; but its use would prove beneficial in cases where the
scalp requires a gentle stimulant application.
JAMES R. CHILTON & CO..
Analytical Chemist®.
Newark, N. J., Jan. 21,1863.
Messrs. Kendall <t Co
Gents .-—For several years I have been troubled with
tenderness of the scalp, which sometimes developed into
an unpleasant eruption, so that I could scarcely endure
the painful operation of combing or drcasing the hair. I
had used various other compounds at the suggestion oi
friends, but without any advantage, till I chanced to see
your “Amboline.” I have tried it to my entire recovery,
and after much experience I look upon it as the best
article in the market for the purpose it is intended for, and
a necessity to the toilet. You arejpermitted to refer to me
if you see fit.
Truly,
[Signed] Rev. R. P LIVINGSTON.
R. D. Barnard of Albany, says
“After using two boxes of your Amboline, I was sur
prised to find a thick crop of young, soft hair, covering
the entire scalp, which had been bald for seven rears?’
No. 277 Canal St., New York, >
Jan uare 20, 1853 J
Messrs. Kendall & Co :
I have used several boxes of your Amboline, and cheer
fully certify to its virtue as a promoter of the growth and
beauty of the hair.
I never have had anything in my family whieh so per
fectly answers the purpose of a hair dressing.
It is an effectual remedy for dandruff and soreness of
the scalp I consider it the best article of the kind in the
market.
You are at liberty to refer me as to the genuineness and
perfection of the Amboline.
Yours Truly,
WARREN WARD
No. 35 King St , New York, )
January 16, 1863. 5
Messrs. Kendall & Co.:
Gents— For a long time my head has been almost on
tirely bald, so that I had abandoned the ilea of my halx
ever being restored. I gave my barber some ot your Am
boline to use on my head, and one day I was astonished
at hisinforming me that the hair was again growing, and
the whole scalp entirely covert d with a growth of new
hair It Is now soft and silken, and growing rapidly I
attribute it altogether to the use of the Ambolinb.
I shall be pleased to verify this by personal statement
to any one desiring it, or would refer them to my barber
Mr. Vito Carrao, Division street, this city.
Respectfully,
JOHN SENIA.
MISS FANNY SEFTON, the beautiful and talented Ao
tress, says: “ I have used Kendall’s amboline for my
hair, and find it a very superior article. I have no hesita
tlon m advising every lady who desires an elegant head
of hair to use it.
MRS. GEO. T MORGAN, of Brooklyn, says: “ I have
been using the Ambolinb lor about four weeks, and during
that time my hair has lengthened two and a half inches, M
KENDALL’S AMBOLINE
Prevents hair tom falling out.
KENDALL’S AMBOLINE
Causes it to grow on bald heads.
KENDALL’S AMBOLINE
Prevents hair turning gray.
KENDALL’S AMBOLINE
Permanently removes Dandruit
KENDALL'S AMBOLINE
Gives hair lustre and beauty.
KENDALL’S AMBOLINE
Prevents nz'vous headache.
KENDALL’S AM BOLINS
Benders harsh hair soft and glossy.
KENDALLS AMBOLINE
Is purely vegetable.
KENDALL’S AMBOLINE
Cures all diseases of the scalp.
KENDALL’S AM BO LINE
The best hair dressing for children.
KENDALL’S AMBOLINE is put up in boxes containing
two bottle®—one to be used at night as a restorative, the
other for morning use, as a dresting. It never ’ails tc
prevent the Hair from falling out, or turning prematurely
gray It is extracted from Roots, Flowers, and Herbs, and
has been used in thousands of cases where the Hair was
coming out in handfulls. and has never failed to arrest its
decay, and promote a healthy and vigorous growth.
PREPARED ONLY BY
KENDALL & CO.,
NO. CO6 BROADWAY, N. Y.»
ANP HOPP EVEBIWOPr!
Sundav Bditioiu Feb. 14*
R. R. \R. _
RADWAY'S READY RELIEF.
WONDERFUL CURES ABE BAILY EFFCTED,
MODERN MIRACLES.
History—Science—Art—Philosophy—the Ingenuity of Maa
—the Researches of Sages—have failed in securing to the
human race so great and lasting a boon—so precious an 4
Immediate a necessity as
RADWAY’S READY RELIEF,
THE GREAT INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL REMEDY.
To be used on all occasions where there is Fain, InJlam*
mation or Swelling, Cold Chills, Shivering, Heauacho.
Cramps, Spasms, btidden Sickness. Colds, Coughs, Sore
Throat, Influenza, Diptheria, Hoarseness, Lameness,
Pams, Aches, and all Infirmities
IN THE YOUNG OB OLD, MALE OR FEMALE.
It proves its eflicacy in a few minutes. It will save life
when all other means fail.
It Prevents Sickness, It Stops Pains. It Sbcurks Slbbp
It Imparts Strength, It Insures Health
There, are none so weak that it will not straighten—nona
eo crippled and infirm it will not make whole and sound
—none so miserable it will not comfort—none so tortured
With pain it will not secure ease and comfort—none a®
restless it will not calm—none so sick it will not cure—<
none so exhausted or worn out by disease that it will not
prolong life.
WONDERFUL CURES ARE DAILY EFFECT!®)
BY ITS
APPLICATION EXTERNALLY, OF
RHEUMATISM, NEURALGIA, CRAMPS,
STRAINS, SORE THROAT,
INFLUENZA, DIPHTHERIA,
HEADACHE.
LUMBAGO—GOUT—TIC DOLOREUX-TOOTHACHE
EARACHE— inflammation of lhe st *mach—
BOWELS ANO KIDNEYS —SPRAINS—CUI’S BtiUI
SES—WOUNDS—CROUP HOARSENESS - BURNS—
SCALDS-PIMPLEs—BLOTCHES—MOSQUITO BITES
-STINGS OF POISONOUS INSECTS-*'-HILBLAINS
OEAFNESS—SUN STROKE—aPOPLEX . - EPLuEP
TIC FITS—ASTHMA—BALDNESS - 80..ENES- xND
FAINS IN THE LEGS—FEET—JOINTS. Ac.-WEAK
NESS IN THE SPINE-LAMENESS-SWELLINGS O?
THE KNEcS-FEET—LEGS. Ac - SORE EYES AND
IN ALL CASES WHERE THERE IS PAIN OR DIB
IREfcS, THE READY RELIEF, IF APPLIED OVER
THE PARTS, WILL AFFORD IMMEDIATE EASE*
AND WILL, IN A FEW HOURS, CURE THE Pj£
TIENT.
RADWAY’S READY RELIEF IS THE GREAT
ARMY AND NAVY MEDICINE.
NO SOLDIER OR SAILOR SHOULD BE WITHOUT IT
We have the evidence of Army Surgeons and Officers in
the Army and Navy, to certify to its saving over twenty
thousand Jives. No soldier or sailor will die of exposure,
disease, or climatic changes, if this medicine is used as a
preventive and drink
Bear in mind that whenever y<u drink strange water, t
few drops of the RELIEF in water will give you a dellgnt
ful stimulating drink, and protect your stomach from del
eterious effects arising from change of water
IT STRENGTHENS THE STOMACH—IT NEUTRALIZES
MALARIOUS POISONS—IT CHECKS WEAKNESS
OR DECLINE—IT WABMS-EXHILLR
ates and soothes—it calms-
CLEANSES AND PURIFIES.
SOLDIERS RETURNING FROM THE WAR, AFFLICTffIS
WITH WEAK LUNGS, READ THIS LETTER.
GREAT CURE OF WEAK LUNGS-.
From, the Christian Advocate.
“We beg to present to the readers of the Advocate the fol
lowing letter addressed to Dr Kaaway. Let those afflicted
with WEAKLUNGS and THREATENED CONSUMPTION,
read. The writer, Mr James Sage, is wail known iu Mi
chigan as a popular hotel k> eper.”
Memphis, Macomb Co., Mich., Sept 4th, 1802.
Dr. Radway— Dear Sir: About four years since I was
very much affected wltn DISEASED LUNGS. My friend®
thought I had the Consumption. I was entirely until for
business, raised blood, and had every symptom of the
above fatal disease. One night, on going to bed, I thought
I would take a sweat, and took your RE aDY RELIEF du
hot water) as a stimulant to sweat me It aid so Tne
perspiration was of a slimy subst’nee, and offensive smelL
1 followed taking the Ready Belief every other night for
four weeks, and at the end of that time was entirely wed_
This is a true statement of facts, which I will testify to uh
der oath. Yours. &c ,
JAMES SAGE, Sage’s Hotel, Memphis, Mich.
SORE THROAT, INFLUENZA,
DIPTHERIA CURED.
Isle Valem. Oct 18th, 1858.
Messrs. Radway Co.:
Radway’s Ready Relief and Regulating Pills are highly
approved of hore, for the wonderful cures they have
made of a disease prevailing here, commencing with
sore throat, and running the gauntlet, with ever? con
ceivable pain and ache, of the human system Send im
diately a gross of Relief and Pills
Geo. Le MEssußiaa.
MR. 8. B. LOGAN, MUSQUODOIT, NOVA SCOTIA.
A letter written us under date of May 11th 1858. irom
Musquodoit N. S., by S. B. Logan, Esq., pays that ‘ It ha*
raged terribly in this place the past winter, carrying off a
great many' It baffled the skill of the best phvsiciana,
and was only arrested in its progress by Rad way’s Ready
Relief. I was afflicted, and it cured me. Many others I
could mention found the same benefit.” lam respect
fully yours, S. B. Logam.
RHEUMATISM CURED*
Read this important letter :
ANOTHER WONDERFUL CURE OF RHEUMATISM.
January 3d, 1850.
Messrs. Rabway A Co :
I tried your Ready Relief, and had my joints rubbed
with it. and I never felt pain after the first teu minutes I
was rubbed with it up to the present time. Sirs, Ido not
know what to compare it to but a charm ; for it is a mys
tery to me. I was a cripple for two years, and had net
the proper use oi my limbs for time years I was worn
down to a skeleton I then commenced the use 01 your
Ready Relief, Resolvent, and Radway’s Pills. The pain
left me in ten minutes, and I began to gain strength very
fast, and could walk with ease tn a tew weeks Before 1
heard of your Remedies I was taken to Or. Parker. Dr.
Reese. Dr. Warale, Dr. Maclelan, and other physicians io
the city I cannot now remember I was completely
pulled to pieces by them My constitution was br ken up
with medicine that did me no good. I could not put a foot
to the ground nor pick up a pin I was lift d ana carried
up and down stairs like an Infant; and now, thank Go<L
by the use of your Remedies lam strong as ever I had
the common rheumatism—inflammatory and chronic-*
and the palsy. You can publish this if you like
Sa BAG A HOUGH.
No. 344 Thirty-sixth street, between Seventh and Eighth
avenues, N 1.
PRICE 25 CENTS PER BOTTLE
SOLD BY DRUGGISTS AND STOREKEEPERS,
RADWAY & CO ,
Physicians and Chemists, No. 87 iMuiden Lane, N Y.
rijgWi O
THE PERUVIAN SYRUP
IS A rROTECTBD SOLUTION OF TBE
Protoxide of Iron,
A NEW DISCOVERY IN MEDICINE,
THAT STKIK.ES AT THE HOUT OF DISEASE,
BY SUPPLYING THE BLOOD WITH ITS
VITAL PXLIHCIfLE,
OR,
LIFE ELEHEST, IKOX.
The following certificate,
FROM WELL-KNOWN CITIZENS OF NEW YORK,
Is sufficient.of itself to establish the character of any
medicine:
The experience which we have had of the PERUVIAN
SYRUP, and the evidence which has been exhibited ;o u®
of Its great success in the cure of many diseases, satisfle*
us that it is a medicinal agent of remarkable power, and
deserving the attention of Invalids.
JOHN E. M l 1.1.11’15, Esq.,
President of the Metropolitan Bank.
Rev. ABEL BTEVESS,
Late Editor oi the Christian Advocate and Journal.
Rev. P. CHURCH,
Editor of New York Chronicle-.
THE PERUVIAN SYRUP
Cures Dyspepsia, Liver Complaint, Dropsy, etc.
THE PERUVIAN SYRUP
Euftises strength, vigor, and new lite into the system.
THE PERUVIAN SYRUP
Cures Chronic Diairhoea and all skin Diseases
THE PERUVIAN SYRUP
Builds up the broken down constitution.
THE PERUVIAN SYRUP
Cures Nervous Affections and all Female Complaint®
THE PERUVIAN SYRUP
Is an excellent substitute ror wine or brandy.
THE PERUVIAN SYRUP
Invigorates the weak and debilitated.
THE PERUVIAN SYRUP
Cures all diseases of the Kidneys and Bladder.
THE PERUVIAN SYRUP
Restores the vigor of you h to the worn-out system
THE PERUVIAN SYRUP
Animates and invigorates an over-worked brain.
Pamphlets containing certificates of cures and recom
mendations from some of tne must eminent phvs’ci uis
clergymen and others, will be sent krke to any address.
Prepared, as heretofore, by N. L. CLARK & CO.
J. P. D4Ni»MOR.E 5 s«ie Agent.
No. 491 BROADWAY, New York.
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
AV. A— 81 A- V- A?
• 81 PROPHYLACTIC Rubber
nods or “CheckPto natural consequences.” Prices ii.
$3 $4, ard $5 per dozen. Forward; ainn- at box-' s. S
for circulars Gentlemen are in* ited to call and examine
goods before purchasing. Goods exchanged ant i suited.
C MACKEY & CO . No. 81Nassau st.. N. Y.
ePECTACLES.—BRAZILIAN PEBBLES
and Double-Vision Glasses, in goltf, silver and other
frames Also, the celebrated Eye-Preservers, so highl
appreciated at the Eye Hospital and the Eyo Infirmary,
being superior to any other article, giving and vigor
to the weak, and preserving the perfect sight for many
years. Professor FRANKS, Oculist and Optician, ue-',-
tun r on the Human Eve and Optics, accurately and scien
tifically adjusts these far famed spectacles to detective vi
Bions at his office. No 288 Grend st.. corner of Eldridge.
nOOD NEWS TO SMOKERS.—
Ty WHITTAM * LAWRENCE.
No. 395 PEARL STREET, NEW YORK,
are now manufacturing the
“AMERICAN BIRD'S EYE SMOKING TOBACCO,”
Which is equal if not superior to the Eng ish. This Tobacco
has less narcotine in it than any other Tobacco. A person
smoking it will find it has a sweet flavor, and is very ple,>
sant to smoke. All persons smoking a pipe, should give
the
“AMERICAN BIRD'S-EYE TOBACOG’’
a trial—we guarantee you will enjoy a good xmoke. it
leaves no deleterious effects, and does not act upon thff.
■ervM like other Tobacco. Bold everywhere

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