New York dispatch. [volume], September 02, 1866, Image 3

About New York dispatch. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1863-1899

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Sunday Edition. Sept. 2.
B. JHTNTER'S RED PROP.
From tht New. York Sun, 183?.
New York, October, 1838.
Dr. Hunter—Dear Sir—At the request of a friend who
has lately been liberated from the fangs of affliction, by
the aid of your inestimable medicine Dr. Hunter’s Red
Drop, I address you. He tenders hie sincere thanks and
Eratitude for the blessings he has received at your hands,
aving been radically cured by magic, as it were (using
only part of a phial), of a dangerous disease, to which he
tad rashly exposed nimself in an unguarded hour. But
having received both a Cure and a lesson, he is indeed
bruly grateful for the one and hopes to receive a salutary
benefit from the other. I myself, who witnessed its effect,
san testify to its merits, and as a Christian philanthro
pist, most sincerely wish that the public may be made ac
juainted with its utility.
O pour thy balm, upon a wounded world,
And let the banner of disease be furled ;
Life’s embers reillame—while yet one spark’s alive,
And bid the kindling glow of health revive;
Extend thy arm—the sufferer’s pang appease
While groaning ’neath the demon of disease—
The grateful heart shall all thy care repay,
When stern Affliction’s chains are burst away.
Defenceless youth I—if Passion’s firm control
Has placed thee where dark waves of anguish roll,
Where sorrow reigns, and storms of suffering fall,
Where Mercy’s ear ne’er heeds thy piteous call—
Then flee to him who kindly holds for thee
Those precious Drops, that soothe and set thee free,
And when thy just afflictions once are o’er,
Go, rescued a child of wrath, and sin no more.
Yours, respectfully, E. G. P.
From the New York Sun, Not ember, 1837.
No. 3 Division St.—The time is not far off when Dr.
Hunter’s Red Drop will supersede the use of everything
that ever was known for the venereal disease, notwith
standing unprincipled scoundrels are trying to rob the
Doctor of its popularity. But it’s no use ; people are not
»o easily deceived, particularly when three-quarters of
those that are cured every week by it are persons that
have used everything they heard or read of. If you wish
to go to no further expense, get this first, warranted to
effect a prompt and safe cure, or no pay.
Dr. Hunters office is at No. 3 Division street since 1834.
His reputation as a skillful and reliable physician is so
rreat that every villianous quack in and out of our great
yty either pretends he knows the materials of whicn the
doctor s remedy consist, or that he is or has been in some
way connected with him.
All persons afflicted with private diseases to make sure
of the genuine medicines, must call at the old office.
Open from eight o’clock A. M. to nine o’clock at night.
Not open on Sundays.
QQQ BLEECKER ST., DR. SELDEN,
the best ladies’ doctor in New York city.
A -YOUTHFUL VIGOR AND MAN-
• HOOD regained. Use Dr. POWERS’ Elixir, es
pecially all contemplating marriage. Office, No. 195 Elm
btreet. •
DR. EGBERT, WHILE ON A TOUR
through Eastern Asia and Hindoostan, discovered
4 plant, the effusion of gum that exudes from which is an
sever failing remedy or females for removing obstruc
iions and producing regularities. Its curative powers are
if such a nature that it removes at once without incon
renience to the patient. Office No. 67 Carmine street.
Sixth avenue car passes the door.
T ADIES, MrsTwORCESTER IS A PHY
JLJ sician and Midwive with the experience of Twenty
Years’ Practice. You can secure her services at your
residence or give her a call at her number, 149 Charles
street, where she has splendid accommodations for in
valids requiring nursing.
QPECIAL NOTICE TO MARRIEdX
O AND SINGLE LADIES.
The most wonderful, reliable and certain remedy, as
well as always healthy, for married or single ladies, in re
moving obstructions and suppressions, from whatever
cause, and restoring the monthly sickness, has proved to
be the celebrated
PORTUGUESE FEMALE MONTHLY PILLS.
Thousands of ladies have used them with infallible cer
tainty.
Read what the best physicians testify in respect to
them:
“ A woman applied to be treated for suppression. It
appeared that she had been subject to irregularity, or
rfoppage of the monthly turns, and as she appeared to be
tree from the usual symptoms attending pregnancy, it
was not supposed that the stoppage arose from that
sause. She commenced using the PORTUGUESE FE
MALE MONTHLY PILLS. After using them about
five days—from certain indications attending miscarriage
—suspicions began to be entertained that the suppression
might have arisen from pregnancy, which, upon examina
tion, proved to be the case—too late, however, to prevent
the miscarriage. In a short time it took place, and cn
about the third day after she entirely recovered, with but
httle comparative inconvenience to her general health.”
He further states that their efficacy and certainty are
«uch, that they are sometimes administered in cases of
malformation of pelvis, when the female is incompetent
to give birth at maturity.
They cannot fail. In recent cases they succeed m forty
eight hours. Price s3per box. In obstinate cases, those
two degrees stronger should be used. Price $5.
DR. A. M. MAURICEAU.
Professor of Diseases of Women,
Office, No. 129 Liberty street,
Sole Agent and Proprietor for upwards of twenty years.
They are sent by mail, in ordinary letter envelopes, with
full instructions and advice. Address Box 1,224, N. Y.
City.
Dr. A. M. Mauriceau, for twenty years successful prac
titioner at his present of ice, guarantees a safe, and imme
diate and efficacious cure of all special difficulties, irregu
larities and obstructions, either in person or by mail.
Ladies from all parts of the United States consult him
confidence and certainty of success.
NO. 233 BLEECKER ST., DR. SELDEN*
the best ladies’ doctor in New York city.
LADIES’ BENEFACTOR—GREAT FE
male Regulator.—Dr. POWERS’ Periodical Drops,
the best thing known. Beware of imitations. Purchase
of Dr. Powers. Office, No. 195 Elm street.
CONFIDENTIAL MEDICAL ADVICE.
—DR.WEST,No. 545 Broadway, between Spring and
Prince streets, New York, continues to be confidentially
consulted in all cases requiring skill and experience—such
as Gonorrhoea, Spermatorrhoea Leueorrhoea or Whites;
Nervous and Sexual Debility from Self Abuse; Impotency,
and all other Diseases of the urniary and sexual organs,
male or female. Persons consulting Dr. West may rely upon
receiving every care, and strictly professional confidence.
In all cases an early application is of the most utmost im
portance, as neglect or maltreatment leads to the most
disastrous results. Consultations and advice free.
Terms moderate. Rooms arranged that the patient sees
no one but the Doctor.
WHEN AGE OR YOUTHFUL FOL
▼ v LY has induced Physical Disability, DR. KEN
NEDY’S Invigorators can be relied on to produce an im
mediate restoration. Office No. 195 Elm street. Call or
write for circular.
Agard to the ladies.-dr.har-
RISON, the celebrated female physician, invites
all ladies who need a medical or surgical adviser to call at
his private office. No. 62 Sixth avenue, which is arranged
for their special accommodation. Al! obstructions of
menses, from whatever cause produced, removed in a few
hours without danger or pain. Ladies from a dis
tance will not be detained, as one interview is quite suffi
cient.
Dr. HARRISON’S female monthly regulator which is
the only infallible medicine that ladies can procure. Sent
punctually to order everywhere with directions. Price 85.
Dr. Harrison has no connection with any other office.
NO. 233 BLEECKER ST., DR. SELDEN,
the best ladies’ doctor in New York city.
Dr. powers treats all special
diseases and accidents in both sexes. Unfortu
nates, hitherto disappointed in obtaining a cure, and
ladies especially, should be sure and consult him. Office,
No. 195 Elm street, between Broome and Spring streets.
Madame advice to
MARRIED LADIES, Hvfio require a safe and
certain remedy for removing obstructions, from what
ever cause, can rely upon her celebrated INFALLIBLE
FRENCH FEMALE MONTHLY PILLS. No. 1, price
81 a box, to restore the monthly sickness in forty-eight
hours, if of short standing; but obstinate cases, of long
standing, may require No. 2, which are four degrees
stronger than No. 1, and can never fail, are safe and
healthy—price, $5 per box. Can be obtained of Madame
RESTELL, Professor of Midwifery, No. 64 WEST THIR
TY-FOURTH STREET, (under Everett Rooms,) near
Sixth avenue, New York City, or sent by mail, with full
instructions, by addressing Box 2,359 New York Post
Office. Sold also at the Druggist’s, No. 152 Greenwich st.
BE WISE IN TIME.—DR. KENNEDY’S
Remedies are the only medicines known to extir
pate all vestiges of certain diseases. Office, No. 195 Elm
street. All houses.
P bTr. dZ-DR. WM. EARL’S PURL
• fying Botanic Renal Dragee’s cure in a few days
(frequently twenty-four hours) the worst and most obsti
nate form of Gonorrhoea. Gleet, Stricture, diseases of the
kidney, bladder, prostrate, Ac., in fact all affections of
the Genito urinary organs in either sex.
The P. B. R, D. are nearly tasteless, leave no disagree
able smell on the breath, cannot injure the most delicate,
and may be taken without the knowledge of the most in
timate friend. Price 82 per box or three boxes for $5;
mailed secure from notice by addressing DR. WILLIAM
EARL’S AGENCY, No. 12 White street, New York.
IVf ADAME VANBUSKIRk7~PROFES-
LvJL SOR of Midwifery, can be consulted at No. 29 West
Fourth street, second block from Broadway. Having had
twenty-five years experience in the treatment of all fe
male complaints, she can guarantee cure when all others
fail. Her remedies are safe and sure, and always give
immediate relief. Pleasant rooms and board for those
from a distance.
O. 233 BLEECKER ST., DR. SELDEN,
the best ladies’ doctor in New York city.
INVALIDS, READ DR. BOND & SON’S
MEDICAL ADVERTISEMENT.
DR. POWERS’ ELIXIR OF LlFeToF
fice No. 195 Elm street, restores Youth and Man
hood. All persons contemplating marriage should take
the Remedy.
MAD. DESPARD’S FEMALE MONTH-
LY PILLS are the only medicine married or sin
tle ladies can depend on with safety and certainty." Can
e sent by mail to any part of the United. States and Can
ada. N. B.—Ladies who desire to avail themselves of
Madame Despard’s valuable, certain and safe mode of re
moving obstructions, suppressions, &c., <fcc., without the
use of medicine, can do so at one interview. Ladies
from a distance can return the same day, or will be vis
ited at their residence, or Hotel in any part of the United
States. No. 392 Bowery, near Sixth street. Office hours
from 9A. M. to SP. M.
ALL UNFORTUNATES CONSULT DR.
KENNEDY, No. 195 Elm street. Use his only
niaranteed remedies. Debilitated persons, try Kenne
jy’s Invigorators.
•>QQ BLEECKER ST., DR. SELDEN,
the best ladies’ doctor in New York city. ’
T~h6usands are ruinted~beyond
REDEMPTION in this life by not calling on Dr.
HUNTER sooner or later. He can cure the worst cases
of secret disease in a shorter time than any other physi
cian, or no pay taken. Skeptics and doubters will please
call and read lots of reliable certificates of cures made
within the last thirty years, of almost hopeless cases, that
had had the benefit of dozens of the most eminent physi
eicians and surgeons. Dr. Hunter is in constant attend
ance, from 8 in the morning until 9 at night, at his old
office, No. 3 Division street, New York city, since 1834.
Charges moderate, and a cure guaranteed. Separate
rooms, so that the patient sees no one but the Doctor
himself. His wonderful medical discovery, Dr. HUN
TER’S RED DROP, cures private diseases, when regu
lar treatment and all other remedies fail; cures without
dieting or restriction in the habits of the patient; cures
without the digusting and sickening effects of all other
remedies; cures in new cases in less than six hours; cures
without the dreadful consequent effects of mercury, and
possesses the peculiarly valuable property of annihilating
the rank and poisonous taint that the blood is sure to ab
sorb, unless his remedy is used. This is what he claims
for it, and what no other will accomplish. Its value in
this respect has become so well known, that scientific
men, in every department of medical knowledge, begin to
appreciate it, for nardly a week passes that he is not con
sulted by druggists .chemists, and physicians, in regard
to some pitiful patient, who has exhausted the whole
field of the faculty, and still the disease will appear.
What human being, with any pretention to Christianity,
will say that this medicine should not be made known far
and wide? Its popularity is so great, that there is not a
quack doctor in the city that has not attacked it; and
when they find their lies are not so easily swallowed, they
then pretend that they can make it. It is $2 a vial, and
cannot be obtained genuine anywhere but at the old
office, No. 3 Division st. One Dollar will secure by return
mail his medical work, 300 pages, 60 colored pictures,
w orth all the others put together.
A -Game Flayed in France. —An
English magazine writer speaks of a game
which “ they play at France,” in which certain
members of a company are entirely conceled ex
cept their eyes, and the rest of the party are to
identify the concealed persons simply by their
eyes. The difficulty of identification is incredi
bly great, and it is found that the most inti
mate friends cannot recognize each other by
what is considered the most expressive feature,
the rest of the countenance and .figure being
concealed.
t Original. I
THE SUN AND THE MOON.
By w. Marciel
Said the setting sun to the moon as she rose,
With a modest blush, from her couch of repose;
“ Good evening, fair Luna, it can’t be denied
Your looks are improved by your yesterday’s ride;
Then allow me, sweet lady, the honor again
Of conducting you over the the western plain—
Over rivers and lakes that sparkle and gleam,
Dear moon; as they catch thy silvery beam,
Where flowers and fruits in profusion incite
With equal desire both the taste and the sight.’*
** Pass along, Mr. Sun, ifyou please,” said the moon.
“ I prefer the cool night for my rides, to the noon—
When the oriole yields to the nightingale’s song,
And silence itself seems the notes to prolong,
When the prairie-flower sleeps by the violet frail,
And the rose drinks the dew of the shadowy vale.
But you to the day are so closely allied
That your heat is too great for me to abide,
And, to judge by your face, I should really think
You were given to taking too much strong drinks,
Then you know it would spoil my patronage, quite,
With lovers, and poets, and those who indite,
Should I cease to supply them with moonlit vales—
Just the thing in demand for a romancer’s tales.**
All this spake the moon, with a coquettish air,
And away quite enchanting in one so fair,
But the sun, somewhat piqued at this tart reply,
Said “ he hadn’t time then her charge to deny,
But ee thought it quite strange that she, who was
known
To refill her horn at ev’ry new moon,
Should presume to charge him with delinquencies,
such
As taking sometimes a drop too much !
Besides, every one that knew them knew this,
Her orbit was much more * eccentric* than his.
And what, pray, should cause (for the fact was well
known,)
Luna’s ‘ irregularities’ more than his own ?”
“ Oh, that,” says the Moon, and she smiled at the
pun,
•• Your « attractions’ have caused, my dear Mr. Sun I”
This delicate compliment, witchingly said,
Restored the day-god to his usual red ;
So he flung her a kiss on a ray of light,
And bid her farewell as he vanished from sight.
[Original. J
TOM'S WIFE
BY UA.TE
“This isn’t uncomfortable is it, Mat ?” eaid
Bob Warren. Ourselves and three other
chums were seated around a blazing fire of
hickory logs, in one of the cozy apartments of
the “White Swan.”
We met the three by chance, in the lumber
ing stage-coach that conveyed us from our
old “ alma mater.”
The morning had been dark and lowering,
and shortly after noonday, the storm, which
threatened, earns with a wild gust that seemed
bent on dismantling the old coach of its doors
and windows.
For a time we amused ourselves by studying
the points of our fellow-passengers, and to this
day I have wondered how the gouty old gen
tleman, in a grey cloak, ever got home with his
feet, for at every plunge of the vehicle, he
would howl out, “0, Lord I 0, Lord! take
care of my poor feet,” which fervent ejacula
tion was rendered doubly ridiculous from the
fact of its being reiterated by a green parrot
which, with two kittens, wero seated in the lap
of a dumpy little woman in the back part of
the coach.
The little woman seemed a kind hearted
body, and twice tendered the cushion of her
seat for the unfortunate feet; yet both times was
met with a rude rebuff from the gouty gentle
man, and a request to “Stop that cussed
thing’s chattering,” whereupon she would beg
the gentleman not to “ swear at her pets,” and
the disputation would end with another sud
den lurch of the vehicle and the simultaneous
exclamation of the gentleman and parrot, “O,
Lord! O, Lord! take care of my poor feet.”
Yet amusing as this incident was, we were
not sorry when the coach drew up before the
“ White Swan,” and as the storm seemed to
increase, we gladly availed ourselves of its
shelter.
We wasn’t uncomfortable, as Bob had said ;
doubtless owing to his own efforts, and verily
onr friend Bfeb deserves a description, for nev
er was there a greater genius in his way.
At college we had dubbed him “Bob, the
Modest,” for though making few pretensions
and the most moderate requests, he always
got all he wanted, and succeeded where the
rest of us failed. I had always considered the
story of the modest beggar a fair example of
my friend, Bob.
The beggar, who was of the Irish persuasion
—so the story runs—stopped at a house and
made known his wants in the following man
ner :
“Wouldn’t the good people be plased ter
give him a drink of wather 1”
The water was brought.
“ Would they be after sprinklin’ a lettle male
on the top ?”
The meal also was bestowed on the suppli
cant.
“ Now, thin, would they be after failin’ the
same ?”
And so Pat got his porridge.
On the'same principle Bob worked when he
told “ mine host” that he would take a light
supper—a very light supper, as we didn’t wish
to be troublesome, and then succeeded in get
ting the largest room, the best fire and the
most savory joints the larder could boast. Oh,
Bob, though wert a rare spirit!
We lingered at table until its contents were
considerably diminished, and the skeleton of a
large turkey stared us in the face. Then we
arranged ourselves comfortably around the
fire, and while the storm beat and blustered
outside, sang our favorite songs and spun i
yarns to our heart’s content.
We must have been a jolly crowd, for when
mine host came in to replenish the fire he lin- '■
gered, loth to depart; and we agreed to invite j
him to remain on condition that he would eon- i
tribute to the entertainment as the rest of us. ,
“I’m not much at story-telling,” he said.
“ Yet as facts are sometimes stranger than fic
tion, it may interest you to hear something of
my past experience.
“I did not always believe in accomodating
myself to circumstances, as fortunately for my
peace of mind, I do now.
“I was born poor. 1 did want to get rich.
Nor was I satisfied to acquire wealth bv slow
degrees, as some of my ancestors had done be
fore me; and as I belonged to a respectable
family, I could neither beg nor steal, though
occasionally respectable people do both, in a
pretty indefinite way of their own, yet as I was
no genius and didn’t know their way—and the
way makes all the difference in the world—l
had only one hope left, namely, my personal
attractions.
“ From an infant I had been considered a
model of beauty. The first words I remember
to have heard from the lips of my three maiden
aunts, with, whom I sojourned” in childhood,
were, “Dear, sweet, pretty darling I” and it
can easily be imagined that by the time I had
grown to man’s estate I had no mean opinion
of my personal charms.
“ ‘ Tom, my dear boy, you’ll be twentv-five
next Thursday,’ said my aunt Jaifette, as I
sauntered in the dining-room one evening,
where the three ladies were seated. ‘ Have
you thought of anything definite that you would
like to engage in. that will come within our
means, for w e mean to do our best for vou,
though that isn’t much? Poor Linda!’
“‘Poor Linda!’was an allusion to my de
ceased mother, their youngest sister, which my
aunts frequently made when addressing me.
“ I had thought of nothing, and informed my
aunt Janette of the fact, further adding that
had grown heartily sick of copying for the old
barrister, Nathan Green, in whose office I had
been occupied the last twelve months.
“ ‘l’m not fortunate, like some,’ I continued,
| persuading myself that I was a most unfortu
; nate individual. ‘ Now, there’s Phil Diumore ;
' he went down to Saratoga, and married an
; heiress, and is a gentleman for the rest of his
j days.’
“ Now the idea of my marrying an heiress, or,
indeed, any one else, had never entered into
the heads of either of my three maiden rela
tives, aud fol- a few moments they regarded
each other with blank astonishment.
“ At this juncture, however, riiy grandmother,
a bedridden old lady, who is worthy of an ear
lier notice, came to my relief, for she called out
from the adjoining ap'artment:
“ ‘ Janeiteylet the boy go tu Saratogy. Poor
Tom got a pretty wife. Don’t you remember
Toni’s wife ? The boy’s named for his uncle
Tom. Don’t you remember Janette ?’
“ ‘ Yes, mother, yes,’ returned the spinster,
in a nervous tone.
“The three sisters rarely discussed ‘Poor
; Tom’ and his pretty wife. We all have some
: heart-sorrow—all some grief to bear, which the
I rude eye of the world must not gaze upon.
I “My aunt Niny was the first to break the si-
i lence which ensued.
. “‘ A trip to the springs, or some other water
ing-place, might do our boy good,’ she said,
| looking at her sisters.
■ “ ‘ Yes,’ said my aunt Janette, slowly; ‘ you’ve
. not been looking well lately, Tom.’
“‘ I b’lieve not. That is,’ I continued, strok
ing my whiskers, ‘ I feel out of sorts. I’m sick
of everything,’
“ ‘ And we might make our brown merinos
last another Winter, Becca?’ she continued
looking at my youngest umE
"My Aimi Becca decided that with brushing,
turning, and a httle extra trimming, the brown
merinos could be worn another Winter; and so
it was arranged that at the sacrifice of their
wardrobe, I should visit Saratoga.
“I was a graceless dog then,” continued
mine host, “and accepted this favor as I had
done all others ; namely, as a matter of course.
Indeed, if I ever paused to consider the matter,
so far from feeling my indebtedness to these
devoted women, I considered it an especial fa
vor done themselves that I had been born. On
the same principle I concluded that should any
fair feminine, with a comfortable fortune,
chance to fall in love with me, she would re
ceive an equivalent value in my six feet two
inches; black whiskers, etc.; and in this state of
mind I went to Saratoga.
“For a time it seemed as though the visit
had been made in vain. Each bright star
seemed to follow in the wake of some particu
lar planet, and with the exception of. a widow,
who was fat and forty, all had found their
‘ affinity,’ and I was beginning to think that
my aunt’s merinos would be worn in vain, when
one day I was trying to comfort myself with a
good dinner, the arrival ef a Mrs. Moreland
andneice was announced. » - -
“ I sprang from my chair, and seized a waiter,
who was passing, assailed him with the follow
ing questions :
“ ‘ Who was Mrs. Moreland? Was her neice
a young lady? Was she pretty? Were they
rich ? For how long had they taken their
apartments ?’ etc.
“The waiter could answer none of these
questions, not having seen the ladies, but he
would ascertain all that I wished to know con
cerning them.
“.‘Do I that’s a dear fellow,’ I said, growing
affectionate with the prospect of the coming
revelation.
“ In twenty minutes he returned with the in
formation that Mrs. Moreland was one of the
wealthiest arrivals of the season. Her neice
was young, and considered quite pretty. They
had taken apartments until the end of Sep
tember, which would make their stay six weeks.
•“Was the lady a widow ?’ I asked, slipping a
quarter in the servant’s hand.
“ He would not answer that question decided
ly. The general impression was that she was a
widow, and had no family but the young lady,
her neice, who would inherit her property,
“ ‘ That’s as it should be,’ I said, mentally,
congratulating myself.
“And now,” continued our narrator, “to
make a long story short, for once the course of
true love seemed to run smooth ; for, bearing
in mind that Jennie Moreland was a pretty
dainty httle piece of womanhood, and her ad
vantageous surroundings, and you will not
wonder that I should love her with all the love
one as selfish as myself was capable of bestow
ing ; yet what puzzled me most, was the quiet
acquiescence of her aunt in our love-making.
I had expected at least a little opposition, to
give variety to the scene; yet nothing of the
kind occurred; nor were any barriers placed in
our way; and ere the last week of our stay had
expired, we were quietly married, and no one
breathed a more fervent Amen at the conclu
sion of the ceremony, than our aunt Moreland.
The following morning, as Jennie and I sat
breakfasting, I was somewhat surprised by a
summons from the lady to meet her in her pri
vate parlor; yet thinking that it might be
something to my wife’s advantage, which I was
about to listen td, I hastened to obey the sum
mons.
“ The lady was seated on a sofa, perusing the
morning paper, when I entered the apartment.
“ ‘ I sent for you, sir,’ she said, motioning me
to a seat, with a wave of her hand, ‘ because I
have decided on returning to-morrow. Young
people like you are best left to themselves. I
have done my duty by Jennie, and I have no
fault to find with her. Ifyou do the same, she
will make you a good wife. So far, your con
duct has been most praiseworthy; aidas I con
sider her husband tne proper one to direct her
action, I now relinquish all charge .over her,’
and she hade me good morning.
“ This was my adieu! I have not seen her
since.
“ Surprised beyond measure, I hastened back
to Jennie.
“ ‘ Did you know, dear, of your aunt’s return ?’
I asked.
‘‘‘Yes, love. She said she felt she was in the
way ; and I don’t know but what I fake you bet
ter all to myself',’ she said, with a most bewitch
ing smile. .
“ ‘ And she has made no provision for the
future ?’ I continued.
“ ‘ What do you mean, dearest ?’
“ ‘ Your aunt is a rich woman, I believe ?’ I
said in a rather louder tone.
“ ‘ I believe she is,’ returned Jennie.
“ ‘And I am poor.’
“ ‘And so am I,’ returned the little darling.
“ ‘ What, with a rich aunt?’
“‘Certainly, dearest; Aunt Moreland’s mo
ney ain’t mine. She wanted me to make what
she called a good match, and I suppose she
thought you had plenty of money, though I
ain’t a bit sorry you haven’t. I didn’t marry
you for your money, y#u know darling,’ and
Jennie put up her mouth for a kiss, which,
brute as I was, I could not withstand.
“ Aunt Moreland had been sold, as well as
myself. From that thought I gathered much
comfort.
“ Jennie was the oldest of six children. Her
parents were respectable, though by no means
wealthy. Indeed, the only wealthy member in
the family was the Aunt Moreland, her mother's
sister, who, out of sympathy for ‘poor Jane,’
had taken Jennie to Saratoga in the hope of
her making as good a match as her own daugh
ter had done, the Summ. r previous. Her sym
pathy, however, went no further, and “ per
haps, continued our host, “it was as well that
it did not; for as I knew that the means of my
relatives were inadequate to supply the wants
of my wife, I did what I had never done before,
I went to work in earnest to help myself.”
“Jennie has proved invaluable. I have no
occasion to regret my visit to Saratoga. I own
this house, and a large tract of land beside;
and have a good round bank account for a rainy
day. And now, gentlemen, you have heard the
story of Tom’s Wife.” -
It had stopped raining, and we all retired.
calTioT -
The French “Handy Andy.”
There died in Paris, not many years ago, a
singular character, named Calino, of whose
laughable blunders and eccentricities no end of
stories used to circulate in the studios.
Calino was clerk to the well-known picture
dealer, Saurin—an employment which brought
him much into contact with artists and literary
men, to whom he was an endless source of
amusement. Like other eccentricities, he was,
of course, liable to have affiliated upon him
sayings he never uttered, and blunders that he
never had committed; but of the authenticated
ones to which persons yet living are ready to
testify, I have collected" a tew, the recital "will
serve to show why I call him a French “ Handy
Andy.”
One winter’s day, as he walked with Saurin in
the Garden of the Tuileries the latter, who was
always found on the windward of him, said ;
“Calino, I’ll bet you twenty francs that you
don’t walk across the frozen pond yonder" on
your bare feet.”
“Done!” cried Calino, and, taking off his
shoes and stockings, he made tracks over the
ice until he had got just half-way across. Then
he turned round, and saying it was too cold to
go any further, made the best of his way back,
tus losing his bet, though he had gone just the
distance upon the ice that would hayß entitled
him to win had he walked all the way over.
He was not always a very valuable salesman
to M. Saurin, as the following anecdote will
testify.
“ What is the price of that picture ?” asked a
connoisseur, one day, of Calino, who sat half
asleep in Saurin’s shop.
“Five thousand francs,” replied Calino, and
then went off into his doze again.
“And what is your opinion of it ?” rejoined
the connoisseur.
“My opinion of it,” replied Calino, with a
look of sagacious wonder, “is, that I wouldn’t
give two sous for it!”
One day, he sent home from market a basket
of provisions, with a note to his wife. A post
script to this epistle ran as follows :
“ l”ou will find my letter at the bottom of the
basket. If, by chance, you should fail to do so,
let me know as soon as possible.”
On one occasion, as Calino was exhibiting a
knife that belonged tn Rome celebrated man.
Fontallard, the painter, took it from him in
joke, and, saying “ Thank you,” put it in his
pocket.
“ Come, now,” said Calino, “if you don’t give
me back tnat knilp, I’ll rip you up with it!”
He was passing an evening witii Henry Mur
ger, whose lodgings were on the sixth floor—as
they often were, when he had any. About mid
night he rose to go away, and Victor Dupre, the
painter, gave him a lighted taper, that he might
find his way down-stairs without an accident.
He got to the bottom, all right, and then, re
mounting the stairs, knocked at Murger’s door,
saying:
“ Thanks for the taper; I’ve brought it back
lestrsonjebody else might want it.”
There av as an excursion party to Fontaine
bleau. Calino was one of the set; and, lodg
ings being scarce, they made themselves up for
the night the best way they could. The only
article that Calino could find for a pillow was a
great stone jar, and on this he laid down his
ead very contentedly, when the hour for retir
ing had come.
“ That must be rather a hard pillow,” re
marked one of his companions.
“ Quite the reverse,” said Calino; “ I’ve
stuffed it with hay.”
Having to draw some interest due him from
the Treasury, he passed the whole night at the
doors, so as to be first in the line when morning
came. When the wicket was opened, and the
receipt handed him for signature, poor Calino
had actually forgotten his own name ! Of
course, he was immediately jostled out of his
place in the line. Tearing his hair, he rushed
wildly home and rang the door-bell. His wife
opened the door for Idm.
“My name! my name ?” shouted he, excit
edly.
“ Calino, you fool!” replied his help-mate.
“Right, by Jove, so it is !” said he, and back
he sped to the Treasury, where he had to take
his place at the end of the queue furthest from
the pay-window.
Calino went out to fight a duel once with one
of his companions. He was plucky enough.
“ You flre first,” said he, placing himself side
ways, so that his thin body presented a mark
about as wide as the edge of a sheet
paper. His antagonist’s bullet
lessly past him. “ Now,” exclaimed Calino, as
suming an air of great magnanimity, “ when I
go out with a friend this is the wajr I settle the
affair,” and he raised his pistol, intending to
discharging it in the air. Instead of this, how
ever, he sent the ball through the arm of his
grocer, who was his second on the occasion,
and to whom, it was •‘said, he indebted to a
considerable amount.
Roqueplan fell asleep in a carriage in which
he was traveling in company with Calino. The
latter shook, him, saying :
“ Wake up, there! We have got ever so far
on fhe road since you fell asleep.”
“How far have we got?” inquired Roque
plan.
“ About two leagues from here,” replied Ca
lino.
It was a shrewd saying of Calino’s that “Prov
idence had placed death at the end of life, in
order to give people time to prepare for it.”
“What capital oil that is I” said one of his
NEW YORK DISPATCH.
friends, who was dining with him, “Where do
you get it ?” «
“From Olive, direct,” promptly replied Cal
ino, who took the word on the label for the
name of the place.
Mention was made of a man who had just
died at the age of one hundred years. “ That’s
nothing,” remarked Calino; “if my grand
father were alive this day, he would be one
hundred and fourteen years old.”
To avoid some military duty, Calino once
tried to get a certificate of defective sight from
the surgeon of the regiment to which he be
longed. “I am so near-sighted,” said he, “that
I can’t see the stripes dh the arm of that corporal
over there.”
He gave fifteen sous to a messenger to carry
a letter for him. Then, turning to Melsson
niex, the painter, he said: “Let me alone for
doing a smart thing. I’m going tofollow that
chap all the way now to see that he delivers
my letter right!”
Koger de Beauvoir sent Calino to buy some
matches for him. They were good for nothing,
and he was sent out again to look for some bet
ter ones. When he returned, de Beauvoir
said : “ Well, I hope the matches you have got
this time were made to light.” “ That they
were,” replied Calino, “ for I have tried every
one of them.”
Visiting Molir, at his Bellevue villa, he said
to him—“ What a splendid house you have got!
Was it built in this country ?”
Walking in the streets of Bouen one day, he
observed that the clock of the Hotel de Ville
was some minutes faster than hie watch. “No
wonder,”said he, thoughtfully, “it is so much
larger.”
“ Yesterday,” said he, “I sat opposite a man
in an omnibus, who looked so like one of my
friends that he returned my salute when I bowed
to him.”
There is a letter of Calino’s in existence, in
which his natural tendency to blunder is hap
pily illustrated. It runs as follows :
Mx Dear Friesh: I left my knife at your lodgings
yesterday; pray send it to me if you should find it.
Yours, Caltno.
P. S.—Never mind sending the knife—l have found it.
During an excursion from Paris, he was struck
by the beauty and grandeur of the’ Loire. “A
very fine river, indeed,” said he, “ for a provin
cial one.”
The mendacity of Calino has passed into a
proverb among tne Bohemians of Paris, to whom
he was an inexhaustible source of amusement
and banter. One day he had a bit of news to
tell, but, as usual, nobody would believe it.
Presently came another of the set, however,
who confirmed the intelligence, on which some
body remarked, “ If* it is true, then how came
we to hear it from Calino?”
Another time he had some very wonderful
piece of information to impart. “ Not a word
of it true,” said one of the party, '‘for I have a
letter of the 31st of last month which tells a
very different story ?”
“ But the letter I got it by is dated the 22d,”
said Calino.
One evening Calino entered a cafe where a
number of artists were assembled. Before he
had time to open his mouth, Gavarni pointed
at him and said:
“ That’s a fib!”
“Why, I haven’t told you anything!” ex
claimed Calino.
“ No ” rejoined Gavarni, “but you are going
to, ana il will be a fib !”
Calino was very subject to absence of mind,
during fits of which he used to make the most
amusing blunders. One day, calling to see
Galimard, he entered the house with a small
piece of mat, taken from a kitchen sink, under
his arm. He had mistaken it for his straw hat,
which he as often carried in that position as on
his head. Another time, to the great amuse
ment of the gamins, he appeared in the street
with his coat turned inside out, and would have
woi-n it bo all day, probably, had not Musard
met him, and informed him of his mistake.
Of the many practical jokes played upon
Calino by his companions, the following is an
example :
He had supped with two of his friends, and
in the course of the evening the three engaged
in a game of dice, during which luck ran against
Ca'ino. Every time he lost he used to rip out
an oath of the most awful and ingenious con
ception, and when all his money was gone he
threw himself upon a sofa where he was to pass
the night, and went to sleep, swearing to the
very last. Before he was quite asleep, though,
his companions, who continued their game,
recommenced him, with well feigned concern,
to ask pardon of Heaven for the terrible words
uttered by him. “Otherwise,” said they,
“ some great token of the displeasure of Provi
dence will be sure to fall upon you.” But
Calino only ripped out another oath, stronger,
if possible, tnan any of his previous ones, and
goon after he was heard snoring, in a heavy
sleep. •'■■■•
By-and-by his two companions bethought
them of playing a trick upon him. Extinguish
ing the candles and the fire, and closing the
shutters, so that not a ray of light from with
out could find its way into the apartment, they
pretended to dispute over a throw of the dice,
liiting their voices to such a pitch as to waken
Calino, who raised himself to a sitting posture,
and finding all dark, asked them how they came
to play without a light.
“ Get out, you dolt, you’re only half awake!”
said one of the players, and they went on with
the pretended game, taking no further notice
of Calino, who again subsided into a half doze.
Presently they got up another simulated dis
pute about a point in the game, and, wakening
Calino, called upon him to decide the matter.
“ How can I tell anything about it when it’s
pitch dark!” said Calino, in a drowsy voice.
“Rub your eyes, sleepy head!” said on© of
the jokers.
< -lino rubbed his eyes, and then said,
*• i .s no use ; I can’t see in the dark.”
With well feigned astonishment the two
jokers now exchanged expressions of surprise
and concern with each other.
“ Bring the candle closer,” said one of them ;
and the unlighted candle was held within a few
inches of Calino’s nose.
“Don’t you see the light now?” asked the
one who held it.
“Not a blink of light, so help me!” exclaimed
Calino.
“ Good gracious!” cried one of the jokers,
“he has gone stone-blind. Heaven has in
flicted this awful calamity on him, as a punish
ment for the blasphemies uttered by him last
night!”
“Blind! blind!” shrieked Calino, in an agony
of terror and remorse. “ Pity the poor blind!”
i continued he, as the supplications of some
sightless mendicant of the highways recurred
to him. “Oh! I have been a wicked man!
Restore me the sight of but one eye, and I will
never tell another falsehood or swear another
oath!”
And thus he went on, lamenting and making
i the most extraordinary confessions and pledges
| of repentance, while his two companions aid
all in their power to console him. Force of
imagination does wonders, and by-and-by poor
I Calino fancied that his eyes were giving him
: great pain, upon which one of his tormentors,
i who was a medical student, bandaged them
! with a silk handkerchief, and then adminis
-1 tered a light opiate to the patient, which pres
, ently put him to sleep.
It was broad daylight when Calino awoke,
• and tearing the bandage from his eyes, uttered
an exclamation of joy. For some time he could
; not be persuaded but that his experience of the
I night was only a terrible dream. But when
I his companions recounted to him all that had
taken place, he was constrained to believe that
1 lx© uAally had been struck blind. They told
him that fils roowery could have been wrought
jin no other way than by a miracle. The medi
cal gentleman took some of the credit of it to
himself, on the score of the dose administered
1 by him to the patient.
i Calino was very subdued and circumspect in
: conduct for a long time after this; and he never
knew, to the day of his death, that a practical
I joke had been played upon him, but frequently
! complained that he had never fully recovered
his original power of eyesight.
hi
FALSTAFF IN A DILEMMA.
Many are the tales told of theatrical mishaps,
resulting from what are technically and irrev
erently called ga£B; but none are more ludi
crous than one which occurred in the writer’s
experience. At the time when the Banting
: fever (the fever for becoming lean by princi
pie) was at its hight in London, a well Known
American star—not Mr. -Hackett, by the way—
! visited the great English metropolis to play
Sir John Falstaff, in “Henry IV.” Like most
Americans, he was in advance of the dull age
! in which he lived, and had devised a notable
• plan for ridding Falstaff of the incubus of a
I stage belly. An India-rubber bag was made,
I by his direction--, so as to fit his body, and this
| being inflated with gas and screwed down,
i formed even a more admirable “ bread-basket,”
I as they sav in the classics, than the conven
l tional padding.
i Behold, then, a well filled and brilliant thea
i tre, a jubilant stage manager, an expectant
I company, and a prematurely confident star,
j It was in the holiday season, too, and the fame
I which the American actor had gained in other
countries having preceded him, the public and
the critics were on the qui vive for his debut on
the English stage. But, unfortunately, this
gentleman had offended the stock leading man
in some manner, and. the aforesaid stock lead
ing man determined to be revenged upon the
man who had suddenly bereft him of his laurels.
The India-rubber machine had got wind, and it
was mysteriously whispered about the dress
ing-rooms that Fahtaff was to have a patent
belly. The leading man having learned all
particulars, decided upon hig course.
Being duly inflated, therefore, and carefully
screwed up, Falstaff made his appearance, and
was received with rounds of applause. The
first act passed off amid thunder of approval,
as far as Falstaff was concerned, and it was not
until the first scene of the second act that the
vindictive leading man determined to take his
revenge. Just at the moment, however, when
Prince Henry says to Falstaff, somewhat irrev
erently,.“ Peace, ye fat guts,” he probed the
abdomen of the ill-fated knight with a small
bodkin. The effect was immediate and alarm
ing. It was Banting outdone. Gradually the
plethoric old knight began to collapse, while
a slight hissing sound warned him that his
H wind” was broken in sober reality. The
audience saw Falstaff wasting away before
their eyes; his decline was fearfully rapid.
Jle could no longer be said to “ sweat to death,
aud lard tbs Jean earth as he walked along,”
although he really was in a cold perspiration
all over.. The poor star was in great alarm;
the leading man was frightened at the very
success of his scheme; the audience roarea
with laughter; and Falstaff, for that night at
least, was emphatically played out.
ghbtatma
The Hidden Sin. Haper & Brothers,
publishers.
Thia although making its advent upon the
reading world anonymously, is evidently the labor of
a talented and experienced writer. It opens some
what prosily, and the reader is forced to wander
through much tedious matter before he becomes in
terested in the principal personage of the story—a
Madame Palivez, who is really a character not met
with in every-day novels. But from about the fif
teenth chapter the plot thickens, and from that time
to the close of the story the reader is lost in a tan
gled web of mystery, crime, retribution, and misery,
until the latt word eagerly devoured, he lays down
the book with a silent thanksgiving that there are no
thorns in his own pillow, or skeleton closets in his
domicil.
Battle Pieces, By Herman Melville.
Harper & Brothers, publishers.
The contents of this little volume, the writer tells
us in his preface, originated in an impulse imparted
by the fall of Richmond. As a memento of the va
rious battles of the Rebellion, it will be valued, espe
cially by those who participated in the fights of which
the poet so melodiously sings.
The September Number of the
Phrenological Journal makes its appearance pro
fusely illustrated, and with a more than usual
amount of good reading matter. Among the many
attractions of the present number is a portrait of
Emma, Queen of the Sandwich Islanders, and one of
Cyrus W. Field, together with an interesting bigog
raphy of their not uneventful lives.
The Second Mrs. Tillotson. By Per
cy Fitzgerald. Hilton & Co., publishers, No. 128
Nassau street, New York.
A new novel, by the most popular writer of the
times.
Mr. Gladstone and Mr. D’lsraeli
met at the Lord Mayor’s table, at a dinner giv
en to the King and Queen of the Belgians. 'The
great political rivals exchanged compliments in
the most gracious manner. The Chancellor of
the Exchequer, forgetting" their “long and
fierce encounters,” called Mr. Gladstone his
“ right honorable friend,” and Mr. Gladstone
“heartily reciprocated” the kindly sentiments
expressed by his “ right honorable and distin
guished” successor. They acted with the po
liteness of prize-fighters that shake hands be
fore pitching in.
A family in St. Louis was recently
greatly chagrined at having permitted the
young ladies to throw bouquets to a party of
serenaders, whom the ladies believed to be
admirers. When pa went to invite the serena
ders to refreshments he discovered, to his su
preme horror and disgust, that they were a
band of real negro minstrels. Pa d—denounced
the minstrels, and ordered them to “ cork up,’’
and go about their business.
The editor of the Bowling Green
Gazette objects to the regular transmission to
him of agricultural circulars. He says : “We
are no animal propagist; horsist we are not:
as a cowist we make no pretensions; as a
sheepist we claim no honors; and we are a
hogist to a very limited extent.” The editor
must be an exception, for hogs of the most un
limited size are raised in that neighborhood.
A young gentleman of Springfield,
111., named Montford, knowing that the “lady
of his love” was going to a party the other
night, secreted himself in a yard adjoining her
residence to see who accompanied her home.
His euriosity was rewarded. He was shot as a
burglar.
In lowa, recently, two husbands
traded wives, one giving the other $1,500 to
boot. The citizens drove the husband who re
ceived the boot out of the town with hie new
wife. He thinks he has put his foot in it, and
don’t like the way in which the citizens treated
his “ beauty and booty.”
The Harrisburg, Penn., papers tell
of a man and woman in that vicinity who live
in a hut in the woods, and wear no clothing
except a girdle around their loins. A little
ahead of the “ tilters,” this style of dress.
A lady while bathing on Hampton
beach, N. H., last week, was struck full in the
face by a breaker, and her full set of false teeth
carried away. Three days afterward a farmer
raked them out of a pile of seaweed on the
snore, and returned tlicixx to iho fortunate
female.
Those who are troubled by Secre
tary McCulloch’s political speeches should re
member the following anecdote, related by
John Wentworth in his recent speech at Chi
cago. “ I think the Secretary of the Treasury
a good financier. Mr. Lincoln said, when I
saw him last, ‘ I think I’ve got a Secretary to
suit you. I’m tired of politicians, and I’ve
taken a banker from Indiana, and I don’t think
he knows anything else.”
“ Warrington” writes to the Spring
field Republican, “ I hear of a good thing said
by Gen. Butler within a day or two. A John
sonite was making congratulatory observations
to him on the touching scene at Philadelphia,
and remarked that “ extremes meet.” “ Yes,”
said Butler, “so they do when a dog chases
his own tail, but both extremes belong to the
same dog.”
An old soldier in Chicago was ar
rested for sleeping in a barn attached to a
hotel. He explained that he had paid for his
lodgings at the hotel, but the bugs attacked
him with such fierceness that he was compelled
to make a disorderly retreat for the barn. He
was discharged from custody.
A barber in Vienna made a new
shaving-paste, which rendered unnecessary the
use of the razor. The paste caused painful
swellings on the faces of those that used it;
and, on examination, it was found to be com
posed mainly of arsenic. The aspiring and in
ventive barber has been subjected to legal
penalties.
It is said to be dangerous to be
working a sewing-machine near a window when
there is a thunder storm. We have found it
dangerous in the vicinity of a sewing-machine
when there wasn’t the least thunder in the air.
A young Vermonter was arrested
for drunkenness, in Chicago, a few days since.
On his person were found twenty-nine photo
graphs of young ladies, while his clothes were
stuffed full of love letters, which he had re
ceived in answer to matrimonial advertise
ments.
A Western reporter, in describing
a total abstinence meeting, says, that “they
had a most harmonious and profitable session,
and retired from the hall full of the best
spirits.”
Fruits are very plentiful in Mont
gomery, Alabama. A local complains that
I there’s no end to them this season. Poor boy 1
if that’s the case, he should bite them in the
centre.
A man who is advertising lodgings
to “early risers,” at Danbury, Conn., adds:
“.Cochin China fowls of unusual vocal powers
are kept on the adjoining premises ; and cats
of more than ordinary musical ability are plen
tiful in the neighborhood.”
A Sacramento paper of recent date
says : “ Yesterday, people were amused at see
ing the street-sprinkler at work in our city,
while the driver held an umbrella over his head
to shelter himself from the rain.”
The wonderful operation of the in
fusion of blood from the veins of a healthy per
son into a sickly one, has just been performed
at Vienna, with complete success. The healthy
person operated upon was the husband—the
sickly the wife,
A letter from Hong Kong states
that when a man becomes famous for his for
geries, the Chinese authorities do not incar
cerate him in prison to suppress the evil, but
the bankers and wealthy men make up a purse
sufficiently large to buy him off, and bind him
not to instruct others. . ——
A Western paper advertises for a
lost town; “Monroe (Ohio) has been blown
away by a hurricane. Anybody finding a town
will plwo return it.”
An old fellow is taking a band of
about thirty “mustangs” from California to 1
Missouri. He says that there are a good many
people in Missouri that ought to be killed, and
he thinks tlje best way to kill them off is to in
troduce this breed of horses.
A Memphis female was picked up
the other morning very drunk. She explained
that having the toothache she smoked a strong
pipe to relieve the pain, and it flew to her head.
“ Only this, and nothing more.”
It is stated that Mayor Gee, of
Salisbury prison infamy, has resumed the prac
tice of medicine. Which means, that having
been thrown out of one line of butchering, he
has gone into another.
The name of Fisherville, in Wind
ham county, has been changed to North Gros
venor Dale. An Irish inhabitant of the town
says “ It’s a dale too much name.”
An ex-rebel soldier, appointed cap
tain of a Virginia militia company, returned his
commission with this endorsement: “ Head
quarters in the field, August 2, 1866. Respect
fully returned, disapproved. D-~—n Governor
Pierpont and his Virginia militia!”
A woman arrived in St. Louis re
cently with much baggage and four children.
Engaging a cartman she placed in his charge
the baggage and young ones, directing him to
meet her at a certain place remote from the
depot. He was there on time, but the woman
has not been heard of since.
A better bull than the following
from the Louisville Journal, w.e never saw
credited to Sir Boyle Roche : “ Our campaign
documents are going off faster than we can get
them ready.”
An exchange says: “A suit at law
has been brought in Harrisburg for an alleged
balance due of five cents.” Well, what’s the
odds how few the cents, if the lawyers reap a
rich harvest out of the non-sense of the world.
A Nebraska paper complains of the
frequency of horse thefts in that State, and
recommends serial suspension for the perpe
trators as an elevation likely to result in good
to the community.
A cow, in Cincinnati, in a mistake
the other day, took a feed of pine sawdust in
stead of bran. In the evening she gave turpen
tine instead of milk! So says the Cincinnati
Herald.
A French paper states that a young
girl at Tours has been lying in a trance for fifty
seven days, during which time her state has
not undergone any visible change.
Punch says : “We do not believe
in spriritualism or magic, but the other day, a
veracious witness actually saw a young man
turn into a public house.
A gentleman of a scientific turn of
mind says that tilting hoops are only new reve
lations of nature’s hidden mysteries and beau
ties.
Castles in the air, says Punch,
have no foundation, but in some delusive
schemes you find abasement.
THE PHANTOM SHIPS.
The phantom ships, the little ships,
Mere films of cloudy air,
Go gliding past through light and shade,
Through gleams and lustres rare ;
Or where the moonbeam’s silver path
Sheds glory o’er the sea,
Or where the sunbeam’s
Rests in its majesty. O
The little ships, the phantom ships,
Mere tiny films of gray,
Go sailing, sailing past the cliffs,
And past the frothing bay.
Are they from East or from the West ?
From Tiukey or from Spain ?
Or but the shadows of dream-ships
Gliding across my brain ?
The phantom ships, the phantom ships,
With sailing wings spread gray,
Flaunt forth no crimson pennons
In chivalrous display ;
Steer down the channel, past the shoal,
With no rejoicing cheer,
With no resounding cannon,
Nor fire-flash glancing clear.
Those phantom ships are like the hopes
Of days long since rolled by ;
O’er dreamland seas they glide along,
Their gray sails mounting high.
Glide on—glide on! ye shadowy fleet,
And bear your dead away,
Past glistening sands and rampart cliff,
And little frothing bay.
TOO MUCH MARRIED.
Indiana Divorces—The Possessor of One Ar
rested for Bigamy—Will the Question be
Tested as to their Legality in this State ?
For several years past Indiana has been the refuge
of the “ married but not mated.” Gentlemen stay
out a few nights in succession beyond the time their
anxious spouses consider proper, or they are seen
escorting other females to the theatre, or are known
to have visited a saloon where “beautiful waiter
girls” dispense intoxicating beverages and amorous
smiles, and the wives of these gentlemen are dissatis
fied. Indignation fills their hearts, and divorces flit
before their mental vision. Now York is behind the
age—in fact. New York ts old fogy, and don’t believe
the marriage tie can be broken as easily as a shoe
string or an old bachelor’s peace of mind. The furious
females seek Indiana as the surest place of refuge and
freedom from matrimony’s galling chain. Husbands,
also, become dissatisfied with the partners of their
joys and sorrows. They have beheld, through the cor
rupting displays made by “tilters,” pedal extremi
ties that surpass in classic beauty and artistic grace
those of their more homely help-meets—they have
met an “ affinity” who siren-like sings them to their
ruin—they have gazed in the depths of a “ dark
rolling eye” and don’t hold any further allegiance to
the serene quiet of heavenly blue—they are inspired
by a new titillation of the heartland forget olden
dreams and buried loves. Visions of future happi
ness haunt them In their hours of slumber, and dis
turb them in the midst of their business avocations.
They are tortured by deferred hopes, and suffer from
unrequited love. Desperation masters them, and
they rush to Indiana, the haven, the port, the Eden
of divorce seekers. Indiana receives them with open
arms, and administers an anodyne to all the ills to
which matrimonial flesh is heir. Smilingly Indiana
tenders a divorce with one hand, while with the other
she presents a small bill of costs. The wives rejoice
and the husbands do not despair. Happiness is the
usual result, and smiles irradiate a portion of the
household.
Occasionally, however, the party that didn’t apply
for the divorce becomes obstreperous—don’t regard
Indiana divorces with favor, and is not willing to be
“shuffled off” as though nothing but a played out
pack of cards, or a “ mortal coil ” that had been
“ sent into this breathing world scarce half made up.”
Such persons kick in the traces, and are not satisfied,
that their “ lines ” are in pleasant places. With un
accountable unreasonableness they raise a bobbery,
and bring to the public notice things that one of the
parties to the case would rather have remain “ famil
iar saycrets ” in the household. One of these uu
reasonables has entered into legal proceedings in this
city, and the case is now on the docket of the Court
of General Sessions. The circumstances of this mat
rimonial entanglement—this alleged illegal divorce
case —are as follows:
Chas. A. Camp, at one time a resident of this city,
some years ago, married a young woman of respect
able connections and of stainless reputation. Two
children were born as the fruit of their marriage. A
: young woman who had been a companion of Mrs.
I Camp before marriage was a frequent visitor in the
family. In the course of time Mr. Camp began to
I like the visitor much better than his wife. In order
: to consummate the new love it became necessary to
abandon the old—to wipe out the relation which had
. made Mr. and. Mrs. Camp husband and wife. To do
I this, Mr. Camp hastened to Indiana, where he re-
I mained what he regarded as a sufficient length of
| time, for legal purposes, to obtain a divorce, and did
! obtain one. Armed with the document which was to
1 make the marriage bond “ null and void,” and which
| was to send into sorrowful retirement the faithful
wife, he returned to this city and became the husband
. of a second wife, the original Mrs. Camp being still
alive. Miss Martin, the trusted companion of the in
jured wife, knowingly accepted the hand of the recre
ant husband, and became Mrs. Camp, No. 2. There
upon, Mrs. Camp, the rightful, had her husband ar
rested on a charge of bigamy, and taken before Jus
! tice Kelley at the Jefferson Market Police Court,
where he was held to bail to answer the charge. In
May, 1858, the Grand Jury of the Court of General
Sessions returned an indictment against him, and
j when the accused was called to put in a plea in court,
he failed to appear, whereupon his bail was forfeited.
He had taken up his residence in St. Louis. A few
days since, Mrs. Camp, who is still in this city,
caught a glimpse of her husband on the street, when
she at once proceeded to the office of District Attor
ney Hall and gave information to that effect. A
bey. ch warrant was soon obtained, and Mr. Camp was
arrested by Officer McDiamid, of the Twentieth Pre
cinct. The prisoner had at the time of his arrest
purchased the tickets for passage on his way to St.
Louis, and was engaged in a parting game of “ seven
up” with some friends at a place convenient to the
railroad depot. He was immediately taken before
Judge Russell, at his chambers in Nassau street, who,
notwithstanding the production of the In
diana divorce paper, held him to answer
the charge of bigamy in the Court of General
Sessions, in the sum of SI,OOO. Being unable to ob
tain the bail, he deposited the sum of SI,OOO with the
City Chamberlain at the Broadway Bank, and the
usual bond was drawn by Mr. Sparkes, Deputy Clerk
of the Court of General Sessions, on receipt of the
Chamberlain’s certificate acknowledging the SI,OOO
deposit. The friends of Camp assert that the case
will never come up for trial, in which event the
County of New York, or somebody, will be richer to
t he extent of SI,OOO.
Mrs. Camp appeared to have some regret in the
matter, as she made the following observation in the
District Attorney’s office: “I suppose Emma (the
second wife) will feel bad at this; but she don’t know
how many tears it has cost me.” What the Indiana
divorce may be good for in law so far as the New
York Courts-are concerned, may be thoroughly tested
if Mr. Camp elects to try the case.
Saturday, September 1,1866.
We have to report a very satisfactory state of gen
eral business for the week—satisfactory it should be
to the public, but not particularly satisfactory to Wall
Street. While the various departments of trade have
been prosperous, the speculation in gold, stock# and
bonds, and securities generally, has been extremely
dull, and during the absence of any real interest in
these matters prices have declined, and speculators
are, in consequence, depressed in spirits. The easi
est explanation of the temporary dullness in Wall
street may be found in the very largely Increased ac
tivity of general business in the city and throughout
the country, and enterprising men have.' mostly
turned their attention to the various channels of
business, rather than trying to make money out of
each other by bearing or bulling the market in WsU
street.
In the Dry Goods trade, in the hardware bussinesn,
in the boot and shoe department, and in the general
shipping Interests of our merchants, this activity 18
particularly noticeable, and all our express and
freight lines are occupied to their fullest capacity In
furnishing transportation for the large amount of
goods daily purchased in this city.
In the first named business the rush of trade ha®
caused some of the more unprincipled to make an im
mediate advance in prices, without wailing till some
of their large stocks had been cleared out, and the
result has been a partial falling off in the trade. This
has been done omy in domestic dry goods. In for
eign goods the supply of really choice styles is limit
ed, the advance in gold in the Spring having mate
rially checked Importations. Fine merinos, wool
plains in high colors, black and colored silks, black
and colored alpacas, and millinery velvets, silks and
bonnet trimmings seem to be in the most demand.
In the hardware trade, business reaches now nearly
all branches, both domestic and foreign, including
purchases for the Western and Southern, and some
for the city trade. Domestic goods are very brisk,
and nearly everything is in short supply, while some
articles are very scarce. American cutlery, table and
pocket, is very active at previous prices, and both
are scarce and firm. Much of the Southern trade,
which is for the lower-priced hardware, is done on a
short credit, but very cautiously. The Southern
trade in the hardware business was the most profita
ble portion of the trade before the war, and many of
our merchants suffered heavy losses by their large
credits at the South. We have an instance in our
mind at present of a large Chambers street house, cl
great wealth, whose heavy losses from this dause do
not seem to deter them from again courting this cus
tom and assiduously helping to hasten the day of full
Southern restoration.
In the New York Fall trade in boots and shoes, we
have, to report an amount of trade which, among
many of the trade, amounts to a periect rush; so that
among the usually affable members of leading firm#
in the business, we find that they have hardly time to
talk except to customers. An old jobber, thoroughly
familiar with the market, estimates the trade for the
week at an advance of at least 25 per cent, in the
amount of business done, over last week, and our
own views favor a larger, rather than a smaller figure
as the amount, one very unpretending house, to our
knowledge, having sold over two hundred thousand
dollars worth of goods for the week. All the manu
facturers in this vicinity who have been working
moderately until lately, are how pushing ahead in
their various establishments with renewed energy
and making up all the goods they can, which, at best,
will not keep up to the demaud for a few weeks.
In the Cotton, Wool, and Tobacco interests of the
city, we find a fair average business in the city for
this season of the year, which is most prominent, per
haps, in the last-mentioned article. The prices of
each are well sustained, and from Louisville sources
we are informed that the probabilities favor rather
righer prices for tobacco in the future than those now
ruling.
■ In thus giving prominence to the various depart*
ments of commerce in preference to the strictly finan
cial topics, we have but followed the general tone of
the business world. Still, this satisfactory state of
business could not exist were it not for the
abundance of money, to be had at low rates of inter*
ctsi, for every of vestment which can furnish
an adequate security. Large amounts of money ar©
now being paid into the Treasury and for .Internal
Revenue taxes, and still larger amounts are being*
sent forward to the West arid. Southwest to pay for
the abundant crops now harvesting, and these causes
would create great scarcity of money under ordinary
circumstances; but just at this time the Secretary of
the Treasury pays off a large loan which he has been
holding, and the money for months locked up in the
Treasury, Is thus paid out here at a time when such
large amounts of money here are called for from every
part of the country to pay for the products which afd
sent here, as the commercial emporium of the conn'
try.
In the Gold Room there has been a kind of “ sick *•
feeling since the middle of the week, and the specu
lators who played so prominent a part in the opera
tions of last week, have most of them come out of
their operations with losses, the price at the close of
the week having fallen to 147, with a prospect of going
still lower. The fluctuations in the price, from such
speculations as there is, is generally deprecated by
our merchants, and it is thought that their fine room
and its two hundred occupants of every fine day,
might be put to some more useful occupation than
1 that of doing all in their power to disturb the natural
relations between buyer and seller in tips and other
countries.
The Government securities are not so high at the
close of the week, although the report of Friday's
prices on the London Stock Exchange, as per Atlantic
cable, shows at least three Per cent, higher rates on
U. 8. Five-Twenties, counting the difference between
gold and exchange, than those prevailing here. The
purchases of U. 8. bonds for shipment to Europe have
been large throughout the week, and the insurance
companies have advanced their rates per cent,
on the bonds so shipped, they have so largely in*
creased.
In the railway and miscellaneous stocks dealt in at
the Stock Exchange, prices are about the same as on
Saturday last, the slight advance in the earlier part
of the week having been lost toward the close, ana
the market closes quiet and dull. In petroleum and
mining shares there is very little interest, and prices,
as for the last six months, are growing worse instead,
of better.
of the Week.
It is stated on the authority of Gen.
Fisk, late of the Freedmen’s Bureau, that organized
bands of desperadoes are having their own way in the
counties of Putnam, Overton, White, Fentress, and
Jackson, Ky. Jails are opened and prisoners set free,
sheriffs and other officers are abused, and nobodj ia
safe from their clutches. A company of regulars is
now at Cooksville, Putnam county, Tennessee, guard
ing the Circuit Court. One of these bands in Putnam
numbers ninety-six men. The General also state#
that such is the power they wield, that the people are
actually afraid to complain of them.
A suit has been instituted by Mr.
A. J. Reynolds, of Sturgis, Mich., against the Western
Union Telegraph Company, for detaining a pre-paid
death-message three days at the St. Louis office. Mr,
■ Reynolds claims that he called twice a day during the
- time for the message, at the Planter’s House, to which
1 it was addressed, and that by the delay he was pre
vented from seeing his son either alive or dead. He
fixes damages at SIO,OOO.
A dispatch from Galveston, Texas,
says Tupelo has been captured by the Liberals, with
the entire garrison of 700 men. The place was sur
prised, and the garrison overpowered before resist
ance could be made. Beside the prisoners, eight
rifled guns were captured and 1,100 small arms, with
a large amount of baggage and stores.
A gentleman on his annual tour ta
the White Mountains, a year ago, discovered rock®
containing gold near Lisbon, N. H. A company of
Hartford and Sprinfield merchants was formed,
which purchased the property in which the ore waa.
found. The stock, worth a year ago $5 a share, now
sells for $5,000. Some of the quartz yields $867 of gold
per ton, and $159 of siver.
The large fire in Dismal Swamp,,
i Va., is still raging, doing extensive damage to the
timber. Numbers of bears and other wild animals
have been driven from their lairs, and are seen by
the passengers on the railroad.
An immense brickyard, 800 feet
long and about 400 wide, is about to be established at
Chicago, 111. It will contain machines for the manu
facture of 200,000 bricks a day. A canal 2,000 feet
long, 200 wide and 20 deep, will connect the yard with
the south branch of the river. The earth thrown up
in making the excavation will be used in the manu
’ facture of bricks.
A dispatch received on Friday at
Augusta, Ga., states that Gov. Jenkins, of Georgia,.
i now at New York, found the credit of his State sd
• good, that he disposed of $500,000 of Georgia State
• bonds at ninety cents on the dollar.
s Three boys were poisoned last week
at Louisville, Ky„ by eating what they supposed to
- be mushrooms. One has died, and the others are in
a very precarious situation.
The guerrilla Harper, with thirty
or forty men, is operating in the vicinity of Bowling
Green, Ky., robbing and murdering peaceable citi
, zens. A cavalry company has started on his track.
An immense amount of damage has*
, been done in Deer Lodge Valley, Montana, by grass
hoppers. Everything green, with the exception of
, grass and willows, has been destroyed. It is esti
, - mated that $150,000 worth of damage has been don©
> in two weeks.
From the Upper Missouri reports
are received that the Black Feet and Crows have com
menced h®stilities. The Crows tore their treaty to
pieces, and have murdered ten men.
A fight has occurred near Fort
Reno between the Indians and the U. 8. troops.
Seven of the latter were killed, two wounded. The
Sioux are very troublesome, and have run off a large
quantity of Government property. In New Mexico
: the Indians are engaged in the indiscriminate massa
, ere of all the Mexican inhabitants they can find.
Malony, who was arrested for rob
bing Paymaster Emerson, at Nashville, of SIO,OOO, has
plead guilty, and goes ten years to the Tennessee
Penitentiary,
■
An American citizen residing at
Sheffield, England, has sent 140 gross of knives and
forks to aid the Portland families that were burned
out, in resuming housekeeping.
The Rev. John Pierpont died sucfi
denly Sunday night last, at his residence in Medford.
Mass. He was 81 years of age.
The co-operative foundry at Troy
is a decided success in every particular. Seventy-five
stoves are made each day, and additional flasks are
being made by the carpenters, so that a large numfiejl
of stoves will be turned out in a few days, £
The lowest estimate of the number"
of people present at the Martha’s Vineyard Camp
Meeting, on Sunday last, was 15,000.
A locomotive boiler at the PetaluiW
(Cal.) railroad depot exploded last Monday
killing four men and wounding five.
It is said the ex-King of Naples iff
coming to this country. He is trying to Bell his
vate property to Louis Napoleon,
Gen. Pope has written u a letter” (q;
Judge Smith, of Colorado, urging the removal of t&y!
Indian tribes