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New York dispatch. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1863-1899, May 12, 1867, Image 6

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn85026214/1867-05-12/ed-1/seq-6/

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J3y Kitty Van V. '
Hari! I hear the brown nuts falling.
Calling, calling,
■Down the hillside, through tho valley
*• Who will come and gather
Bright-eyed dwellers in the taoe-tops a
Winter cometh ever
And they answer, swiftly hustling,
Bustling, rustling,
O’er the red and golden carpet,,
•* We will’ come and gather,
Gladly fin our messy garners,
■Winter cometh ever.”
Let us go and watch them gliding,
Hiding, hiding,
All among the holloas, while so
Timidly they gather
Harvests from the beech and chestnut.
Winter cometh ever.
Haste, while all the woods axe smiling,
Wiling, wiling
As away into their glory,
Let us go and gather,
Let us store our hearts with gladness*
Winter cometh ever.
“■What ia your decision, sir ?” and the beanti
ful questioner looked the minister full in the
face. A pair of lustrous dark eyes and an ex
quisitely chiselled mouth were the two most
bewitching features of this lovely woman’s
face ; a voice harmoniously modulated, and a
manner nt once winning and dignified, invested
her general appearance with a fascination irre
sistible to every lover of the beautiful; and our
Young divine was by no means an exception to
this class.
“Did Mrs. Lester send you to me, Miss Mer
edith ? I really wish she had taken this re
sponsibility upon herself,” he added as he
received the young lady’s affirmative. “Let
me be plain with you now, my dear young
lady,” and he kindly seated her on the sofa.
“ The position you seem to desire in my house
is no sinecure. My wife is in very delicate
health; our little one is exceedingly trouble
some, and 1 really feel that you could do
much better in some other capacity. Have you
ever tried teaching ? My wife informs me that
you are a good musician and speak French and
German fluently.”
The dark eyes were cast down for a moment
as she choked back the bitter tears, and then
raised again to catch the pitying expression of
her companion. “It is true, sir, that lam a
fair linguist and musician, also respectably
educated in our own American literature; but
to obtain a remunerative situation in anv public
institution one'must have considerable influ
ence and more independence of character than
I possess. I am all alone in the world, sir;
without relatives or friends; and my particular
object in applying for this position is the pro
tection it will afford me. I think, sir, I ehall be
able to do all that is required of me.”
Herbert Lester could not withstand this elo
quent pleading. He felt sure that some great
sorrow enveloped the life of this young woman,
" and so with admiration and compassion both
knocking at the door of his heart, (which, by
the way, was always ajar,) he, without n single
question, engaged her as housekeeper and
“May Heaven reward your kindness, Mr.
Lester, and I trust you will never have reason
to regret it.”
“ I hope not, and I believe not; we will try to
Sake it mutually pleasant, and I trust, your
’e with us may be a happy one. God grant it.”
Talented, relined and more than ordinarily
enthusiastic, Mr. Lester had a few months after
..his graduation been called to take charge of a
large and flourishing church in the aristocratic
little town of C . Success had attended
all his efforts ; new members were constantly
being added, and our young divine found him
self, after two years evangelical labor, in the
very zenith of popularity—a situation difficult
to obtain, and still more difficult to retain with
older and more experienced men. The only
drawback to his happiness (for Mr. Lester,
though immensely conscientious, enjoyed pop
ularity) was his companion, the woman he had
chosen in early youth to fill the difficult and
troublesome position of a minister’s wife.
Childish and incompetent, utterly unfitted by
nature and education to be of service to herself
or others, spent most of her time bewailing her
miserable existence. She was a perfect mono
maniac on the subject of her health, and her
husband foun(l himself without sympathy
or appreciation in the domestic sanctuary—
home. The waking up had been slow but
sure, and the bitterness of death would
have been nothing in comparison to
the horrible idea of a lonely, unloved wife, to
this sensitive and refined young clergyman.
But “God’s ways are not our waysand so,
■when the desire for congenial, loving compan
ionship was almost irrepressible, the Throne
of Mercy was besieged for strength and patience
to bear the cross unflinchingly. So the wan
derer from no one knew where took up her resi
dence in the minister’s family. Her duties
were constant, and sometimes not very pleas
ant, for Mrs. Lester had no consideration for
the comforts of others; but the young lady
■was patient and vigilant, and submitted with
out a murmur to the petty tyranny of her mis
“Miss Aggie,” as the young lady was now
familiarly called, attended service twice every
sabbath, but all efforts to become acquainted
with her proved futile. She avoided, as far as
possible, meeting strangers; and when com
pelled to entertain visitors in the absence of
Mr. or Mrs. Lester, invariably withdrew as soon
as etiquette would permit.
“ You are very fond of reading, my wife in
forms me, Miss Aggie,” said Mr. Lester, one
evening, as she entered the library. “Your
time, I observe, is mostly occupied; but I shall
endeavor to make some arrangement so that
you may have a little more leisure for mental
improvement. Here, Miss Aggie, is a little of
everything,” pointing to the well-filled shelves.
•‘ I think it can hardly be called a clergyman’s
library. Are you at all metaphysical in your
tastes 1 If so, you will find a rich treat there;
and, as yon read the original German, the
pleasure will certainly be enhanced. Do you
like to read aloud, Miss Aggie ?”
“ I never have tried very much, sir.”
“But, will you oblige me by attempting it
now ?” and he handed her a volume of Goethe.
Mr. Lester was confounded. The Teutonic
Bialect, so difficult of pronunciation to any but
a native, rolled off her tongue with tho most
perfect ease ; and when, after having enjoyed a
rich treat, he passed her a volume of De Stael,
his surprise culminated.
“ Miss Aggie, I am now perfectly convinced
that you are not only doing yourself an im
mense injustice, but society also, by secluding
yourself in this abominable style. If my little
One was old enough to be taught languages, it
would alter the ease a little,” said the minister,
warmly. Tho sad, wistful eyes looked inquir
ingly into his as lie continued : “Now, my dear,
Without the least trouble, and on the strength
of my recommendation, you can obtain a pleas
ant and lucrative situation as teacher of lan
guages in the H Institute, one of the first
in the country. You have talents, my dear
child, and it is wicked to neglect them.”
“ But, Mr. Lester,” and the rosy lip quivered
and the little hands clasped spasmodically,
*• you certainly are not going to compel me to
leSvo you ?”
“ I fear I shall be obliged io, on principle,
Miss Aggie.”
“Oh 1 for the lovo of Heaven, don’t, Mr.
Lester. You have no idea what a wretched life
I have led. Do I not satisfy you and Mrs. Les
ter ? What can Ido more ? Do not, I beseech
you, speak those cruel words again.”
Mr. Lester arose from his chair, and passing
over to the sofa where she sat, weeping bitterly,
took both of her hands in his, and attempted
to soothe her.
“ It is for your own good, Aggie, that I speak.
Certainly, if I allowed my heart to take the
lead in this matter, it would say most unequiv
ocally, ‘Aggie has made herself very necessary
to your happiness, Herbert Lester. Allow her
to remain but a feeling infinitely nobler and
deeper than my own comfort, says : ‘ By allow
ing this young lady to'buy her ta’lents, now that
you are perfectly aware of tho extent of them,
is not only doing’ her a great injustice, but you,
we a minister of the Gospel, are also assuming a
tremendous responsibility.’ Your light is a bril
liant one, Aggie, and you will have to render
Strict account for the use you make of it.”
The curtains were still drawn in the library,
and the blinds not closed, although the chan
delier had been lighted some time. Mr. Lester
eat with Aggie’s hand in his, and banding over
her tenderly, when a slight noise on the back
piazza attracted his attention, and he turned
quickly, just in time to observe a dark, swarthy
lookmg face, with heavy whiskers and mus
tache, pressed against the window-pane.
“ That is very strange,” said the minister, in
an under tone. “I never saw that face be
“What face? Whose face, Mr. Lester?”
And the drooping figure was now erect, and
looking eagerly to the place indicated.
“It is not there, now, Aggie. Don’t be
alarmed; probably some poor hungry strag
gler, attracted by our cheerful light. I will
step out and sec. You remain where you are.”
“Oh, Mr. Lester, do not expose yourself!
Surely, no well-disposed person would ever
come sneaking round a gentleman’s house in
that manner.”
Aggie stood by the window, pale and trem
bling, while Mr. Lester reconnoitered. In a
moment she heard his voice addressing some
one, and then the reply. What was it in the
Bound of tho latter that sent the blood rushing
back to her heart ?
“Oh, my God I” she murmured ; “pursued,
hunted down, like a criminal; there is no place
on earth for the sole of my foot. Where shall
I turn next ?”
“ Here is a poor fellow, Miss Aggie,” said the
minister, smiling, “ who, as near as I can dis
cover from his broken English, entered tho
stable, and Mike must have sent him in after
something to eat. He is a German, Aggie.
Ask him if ha is in trouble, and what wo can do
. for him.”
The tears were all wiped away from the young
lady’s cheeks, and she eto©4 in the middle of
the floor, her fine eyes flashing fixe, and an ex
pression which plainly bespoke the calmness of
“What does he say, Aggie ?” inquired Mr.
Lester, after a short conversation, of which he
could understand but little.
“He professes, sir, to have traveled a great
way; to have lost his money, and—
_ But the sentence was cut short by tho man’s
rising, and drawing nearer to the lire, at tho
same time giving Aggie a look, unobserved by
the minister, which seemed to almost deprive
' her of the power of speech.
“And what, Aggie? Surely you aro not
afraid of this man ?”
Aggie laughed a short, bitter laugh, which
sounded very strangely to the sensitive par
“And he also says that he is unable to walk
a step further to-night, and begs you to allow
him a shelter.”
“Tell him certainly, Aggie. I never forget
to entertain strangers, for in so doing, I may
entertain angels unawares. Now go and see if
cook has got enough on hand to fill this hun
gry man.”
Aggie walked out of the room like one in a
dream. “Mi-. Lester” eyes following her wonder
ugly. “ I shall never say another word in re
gard to her leaving us,” he thought. “It is ter
rible that one sr young should have known so
much misery.” In a few moments a servant
entered with a well filled salver, but. Aggie was
missing, and did not again enter the library.
Mr. Lester aftek an unsuccessful attempt to
converse understandingly with the stranger,
led the way to his room.
“ Oh! Aggie I” said the minister entering his
wife’s chamber—and finding the young lady
there, “I am glad yon. haven’t retired. Did
you take an especial dislike to our visitor, that
yon left suddenly 1”
. “ What visitor Herbert ?” camo from tho bed
in scarcely distinguishable tones.
■ “Oh a stranger, my dear! who came to us
very hungry a’nd apparently suffering. I was
compelled to remind Miss Aggie of the scrip
tural injunction to entertain strangers, for her
nose slightly retrousse always, seemed to as
sume anoth-r elevation,” and Mr. Lester
laughed heartily.
“Weill I don’t blame her I Don’t you know
Herbert that it is not safe to lodge stragglers.
There is no harm of course in giving them
something to eat; but oh dear, I’m sure I
shan’t sleep a wink to night. How very
thougtless you are,” moaned tho invalid.
“ I do not like the man’s appearance, Mrs.
Lester, it is true; but Ido not think you need
have any fears,” said Aggie consolingly, “ 1 in
tend to take charge of him,” sho whispered
softly to herself.
The kind good night and warm pressure of
Mr. Lester’s hand, would have been very sooth
ing at any other time, but now her brain was
occupied with something else.
“ He has put himself in my power, and I
mean (God willing) to free myself forever
from this terrible espisnage! Courage, my
soul I The affair will soon be decided.”
Mr. Lester retired us usual, but for some
incomprehensible reason was unable to sleep.
Mrs. Lester had forgotten all about the
stranger, and as usual reposed quietly. Clock
after clock chimed at the hour of midnight,
and still Morpheas was obstinate. A light step
was heard,.was distinctly heard.
“Aggie is wakeful too,” he said. “It can’t
be possible that stranger has so upset our
slumbers ; but hark I a door opens. Perhaps
Aggie is sick,” and he went cautiously to the
foot of the staircase and listened.
What can she be doing up. stairs ? That is
certainly Jier step,” and so with a strange fear
which was almost terror, ho went softly up stop
after step till he reached tho landing. Then
with a face like death in which a desperate de
termination to accomplish something was
plainly written, Aggie glided along noiselessly.
She carried a lighted candle in her hand, and
stopped at the door of the stranger’s room.
“ She must be walking in her sleep,” thought
Mr. Lester. “How fortunate that I heard
Aggie stopped a moment as if to gather cour
age to enter, and then without a particle of noise
stealthily passed in. Mr. Lester, fearful of sud
denly awakening her, followed her in silence.
In an instant a strange smell of chloroform
pervaded the apartment, and Mr. Lester en
tered just in time to see a napkin laid across
the stranger’s face, and hear a muttered curse
as ho attempted to shake off its stupefying ef
“ In the name of the Most High, Aggie Mere
dith, what are you doing ?” and he seized the
hand of the courageous girl, and with the other
removed the napkin from the stranger's face.
“Let that remain a moment, Mr. Lester,
until I have accomplished what I came for,”
said Aggie, with a calmness which must have
been the genuine offspring of desperation.
“What!—do you think I mean to kill the
scamp? Help me to search his pockets—
and lam no thief either, Mr. Lester. All I
want is my own rightful property.”
Every garment was looked over, and then
lifting the head of the unconscious man’ a vest
was brought to light. Aggie, with hands
trembling with excitement, examined the ar
ticle, and with a glad cry held up some papers
which looked to have been carefully preserved
for a long time.
“Aggie Meredith, are you crazy, or what
does all this mean ?”
“ Come, now, I will remove the napkin, and
we will lock him in, for, Mr. Lester, he must be
secured, and I really wish you would lose no
time in fr inging an officer into the house, for
if he awakes and find what mischief has boon
done, he will be perfectly frantic, and no fear
of consequences will deter him from the perpe
tration of the first act of violence which enters
his head.”
“But, Aggie, how do I know this is all right ?
I have submitted to you because I felt you
must have something to do which could not be
accomplished in any other way.”
“You are right, my friend. This,” holding
up one of the papers she had just obtained,
“is my marriage certificate, and this is mv
father’s will.”
“ And that man, Aggie ?”
“Is my husband, sir. I will tell you all when
you return ; but, really, we are not safe.”
An officer was soon procured, and Aggie re
lated her sad history to the wondering man.
It appears that this man, representing himself
as a Gorman Count, had fallen, to all appear
ances, desperately in love with Aggie, when
about sixteen. Her mother had bean dead
several years, and the poor child had no one to
advise her but her father, a crusty old man,
who thought of nothing but his money-bags.
Failing to obtain her father’s consent, an
elopement was the consequence. Aggie very
soon discovered that his title was a lie, and his
wealth another. In less than six months after
their marriage, she was again an inmate of her
father’s house, turning her back upon the hus
band who had so basely deceived and abused
her. He found, however, constant means to
persecute and annoy her. When about a year
after her father died, leaving to her, as she
supposed, the bulk of his immense fortune, no
will could be found. Not tho least clue could
be had; [but Aggie always suspected the man
she called husband of its thelt. An old will
which had been made at the time of Aggie’s
elopement was brought to light, and the poor
child found herself alone in the world, without
friends or money. So she determined to leave
New York and seek a homo with some quiet,
pious family, whore she could earn an honor
able living and be free from persecution. But
tho villain had tracked her here, and supposing
she would conduct herself in this instance as
in many preceding ones, had gone quietly to
bed, chuckling at the idea of tho fresh trouble
he had brought upon her.
“But how did you dare, Aggie, to resort to
such measures as these?”
“ Because I felt sure that there was no other
way to insure his arrest and conviction. Now
I have all the proof necessary.”
Mr. Lester looked at his companion with feel
ings of the most profound astonishment. So
young, and to have passed through such fiery
“You braved a great deal, Aggie. How did
you know but the follow might bo awake and
ready for a spring ?”
“lam quite well acquainted with his habits,
and knew from his behavior to-night that he
had drank until scarcely able to converse, and
so I argued, from past experience, that ho
would sleep soundly, though not sufficiently so
to insure the search I intended to institute.
But now, oh, thank God 1 I can prove my right
to mv own estate, and rid myself forever of this
terrible shadow.”
A warrant was duly issued for his arrest, and
our German count found himself early the next
day an inmate of a cell, and Aggie, with a heart
full of gratitude to her friend and protector,
bade all a kind good-by, and started for New
York. Carl Hoffenheimer, alias somebody else,
died in jail a few days after of delirium tremens,
and so Aggie was free. It took only a very
short time tor the legal technicalities to be got
through with, and a few weeks after Mrs. Les
ter received a letter from her, informing them
of her entire success, and inviting her friends
to visit her.
Aggie, although compelled to take her place in
society, didnot, however, enterinto its pleasures
and frivolities with the exuberance evidently
expected. She was fascinating and entertain
ing, but a certain something in her manner re
pelled all intimacy, and so fortune-hunters
were only able to admire and sigh.
Nearly three years after the above incidents
had taken place, Aggie was looking over the
Dispatch one morning, and chanced to notice a
criticism on Eev. Dr. Lester’s discourse, at
avenue church, where, as near as she could
gather, he had lately been called. The next
Sabbath she determined to listen to her old
friend, and so, with a heart full of emotions she
did not stop to analyze or define, found herself
seated in the elegant church, listening to the
familiar voice which had so often charmed her
into forgetfulness of all earthly sorrows. How
soothingly fell the words of comfort into tho
tired, hungry soul; and when a look of recogni
tion. in answer to her magnetic gaze, lighted
up the speaker’s face, she felt sure that absence
and distance had not severed the tie of friend
ship. After service Mr. Lester hurried toward
her, quite unininisterially, Aggie feared.
“Oh, Mr. Lester, how happy I am to see
“Not more glad than I am to welcome you,
my dear ”
“ Aggie, as formerly, Mr. Lesterand the
two friends clasped hands cordially.
“ Now, you must ride right home to dinner
with me.” Isn’t Mrs. Lester able to be out?”
“Why, Aggie, is it possible yon never re-
ceived my letter ? Mrs. Lester died two years
Aggie endeavored to apologize for her
“ I have never heard a word since I received
your reply to the letter informing you of my
legal success; but come home with me, and
you can then tell mo all.”
Mr. Lester hesitated a moment, but as if
borne along by a will stronger than his own, en
tered her carriage, and was soon cordially
welcomed to Aggie’s aristocratic establish
“ Yon must be very comfortable here, Aggie,
if splendor and luxury can make a mortal
happy,” remarked the minister, with a half
“ I confess, Mr. Lester, that I dearly like tho
ease and position money gives me ; but then
it comes very far from satisfying the soul.”
After dinner Mr. Lester gave her a history of
his life since she left, and the chain of strange
circumstances which had compelled him to ac
qppt this call in New York, and finally re
marked :
“And Aggie, I was wondering if you would
be glad to see me, and if our first meeting
would be a cordial one ?”
“I should not suppose that idea admitted of
the least speculation, Mr. Lester. Now you
must come right often to see me, and feel
as much at home as possible,” said Aggie,
forgetting that he was a widower.
“But I fear that would hardly be discreet,
Miss Aggie. My congregation are aware of my
bereavement, and I should be extremely un
willing to expose you to unpleasant remark,”
and our clerical brother looked earnestly into
the beautiful eyes of his companion, whoso
drooping lids whispered to his loving heart a
little story which he scarcely dared to believe
true. '
“ But, Mr. Lester,” and Aggie tried to be very
dignified and unconscious, “ we are old friends,
and I cannot conceive why Mrs. Grundy Should
give herself the least uneasiness.”
“But you aro aware, Aggie, that a minister,
more than any other professional man, is a
public servant, and his example is expected to
be of a character entirely exempt from human
weakness, not excepting human love, my dear.”
Mr. Lester watched the effect of his words.
Aggie, visibly embarrassed, kept her eyes
fixed on the elegant bouquets so lavishly strewn
over the heavy carpet.
“ And I really suppose that were I so blessed
as to find a loving woman willing to link her
life with mine, that I should be compelled to
marry first and do my courting afterward.”
“ What a fool I am,” she thought, “to bo
affected in this style.”
“Aggie, you act very strangely; aro you
really very sorry that I shall not bo able to visit
you as often as I would like?”
“ Most certainly I am, Mr. Lester;” and the
old dignity returned to her manner. “ I regard
you of all others in the world as my best friend,
and it doos really seem wicked that absurd con
ventionalities should ba allowed to interrupt so
warm a friendship.”
“But, Aggie, if you will make that last word
a little warmer, and just call it love,” replied
the saucy minister, “ ■; by then I have no doubt
that everything can bo arranged to our perma
nent satisfaction.” And she did.
ffi ■ I ms. mj.
Mr. Terrence O’Grady was a gentleman and
a Fenian, he wore plug hats, and his tempera
ment inclined to the atrabilious. Hs was forty
four years old, and, although he drank unmixed
liquors, there was a dasli of romance in his
character, and he drove a charcoal wagon for a
living. In religion ho was a Presbyterian, and,
notwithstanding that he was cross-eyed and
had red hair, ho took gas when he had his teeth
drawn. His friends called him Teddy, for short,
and ho preferred underdone beef with horse
radish. Taking him all in all, he was a fine old
specimen of an Irish gentleman, and ho never
swore excepting when he was profane. Mr.
O’Grady, personally, was a widower. For twen
ty long years he had lived in the midst of con
nubial bliss with the wife of his own shirt-bo
som, and never a day had passed that Mrs.
O’Grady hadn’t got the blood of the O’Grady’s
up, and welted him over the head with the
broom-handle. Finally, site burst a blood-ves
sel while taking her customary exercise, and
her spark of life was quenched in a pool of real
gore, which bedewed the rag carpet in the sit
ting-room. O’Grady strewed flowers on her
bier, and shed about four quarts of bona fide
tears, and buried her .in a secluded spot; but
still O’Grady was unhappy. He missed his ac
customed welts ; ho sighed for a good square
blow over the sconce from those dear hands
now stilled in death and silent in the grave ;
and he would often gaze pensively on the old
familiar broom-handle as it rested in the cor
ner ; and then he would go and get down a
green glass bottle with a protuberance in the
bottom, and seek to drown his sorrows in the
flowing bowl. And if he had no flowing bowl,
he would just take it straight from the nozzle.
He generally took about four fingers of whisky
at one drink, and he had nine fingers ofcrape
wound round his Sunday hat.
Teddy O’Grady kicked in his sleep, and never
cut his toe-nails ; and so, when he went to bed
at nights, his weary eyelids were unclosed, for
he said he so much missed the way Mrs.
O’Grady had of kicking him out on to the floor
every night for not laying still, and then ho
would turn over and bury his head under the
covers and sob until he made the ornaments on
the mantelpiece fairly rattle. And O’Grady’s
grief was not simulated; on the contrary, it
was heartfelt, for Teddy had been to the thea
tre, and ho had made agonizing, sobs his par
ticular study. If there was any one thing that
Terence O’Grady was stronger on than another,
it was a sob—a real, first-class, genuine wail of
So, one night, he divested himself of all his
clothing with the exception of one ready-made
red flannel shirt, which cost a dollar and seven
ty-five cents, and was made with a yoke ; then
lie got down and said his prayers, and threw
himself upon his couch.
But, O’Grady couldn’t sleep. He tried all the
ways. He counted several millions; he tried
to imagine sheep jumping over a fence ; he
thought of a wheel going round and round ; he
tried everything, but it was no go, and there
O’Grady lay, with no balmy slumbers anywhere
near, and more cats hollering out in the side
yard than you could count. But while lie lay
there with his eyes wide open, O’Grady thought
ho saw a mysterious light flash through the
“Perhaps a shooting-star, or somebody’s
lighting a match in the next house,” said he,
and he perpetrated a muttered curse, and be
gan to scratch his off leg.
Again it flashed, this time more brilliantly.
“ ’Tis but the lightning’s gleam, or the flash
of a flickering gas-lamp,” whispered O’Grady,
as he struck at a musketo with his left hand.
Again it blazed into the room, and, slowly
fixing itself upon tho wall in a halo of light,
growing more and more distinct, he described
the outline of a human figure.
O’Grady felt the curls straighten ont of his
hair. It grew plainer and plainer. Each par
ticular hair did stand on end like pills upon the
fretful Birkenbine, and a cold perspiration
slowly percolated through the small of his
back, and was absorbed by the red flannel
shirt. At last, the figure grew distinct, and
there, depicted upon the wall, with her old
sweet frown upon her face, the frill on her cap
standing up stiff, like the back fin of a porgy,
and her hand uplifted in tender menace, was
the ghost of Mrs. O’Grady.
Teddy was knocked speechless for about for
ty seconds. Slowly ho raised himself up on his
elbow, his lips moving silently and his mouth
as dry as if ho hadn’t had a drink for a week,
at last he burst forth: “Be thou a spirit of l—
angels and ministers of grace! I—Thief of the
wurruld!—Si. Patrick and the divil! I—Great
grief—Mrs. O’Gra—ough! —ough ! —ough!” and
lie buried his head under the bedclothes and
fairly howled, for the spectre had winked its
eyes and moved toward him.
'To say that wild and dreadful fantasies
flitted through the soul of Teddy O’Grady
would be to faintly express the agitated condi
tion of his mind. O’G. was frightened ; but
after being smothered for a few moments, he
reflected that it was simply impossible for the
dear departed to inflict any greater violence
upon him after death than she had done be
fore, and he thought, too, that perhaps she
might have something: on her mind which sho
wanted to work off. So O’Grady ventured to
peep forth, and there she was, standing just
as natural and indifferent like as if she felt
perfectly at home, and didn’t care whether
O’Grady liked it or not.
To the eye of tho casual observer the ap
pearance of that gentleman would have proved
more picturesque than elegant, had a casual
observer been around. In regard to hair, ho
bore a striking resemblance to a second-hand
gun swab, and his complexion was as white as
could be expected, for O’Grady was a brunette,
and apart from the fact his red shirt gave him
somewhat the appearance of a boiled lobster,
it served to heighten the effect of his unnatur
alpallor. But O’Grady had no aesthetic taste,
so no merely gazed upon the lineaments of tho
ghost, and ejaculated, “Bad ’cess to yez, Mrs.
O’Grady, an’ what is its’ a botherin’ yez ? Am
I to go to the expinse of a funeral an’ then have
yez risin’ up out of yer sepulcre ? Isn’t there
enough dirt on yez to hold yez down, dar
But tho ghost of Mrs.' O’Grady gave no
“ Tare nn’ ouns, an’ what's tho matter wid
yez ? Didn’t yer coffin fit yez, say now ?”
Mrs. O’Grady’s spirit was motionless.
“ An’ why don’t yez shpake out now? Have
yez any goold or greenbacks concealed that
yez want to disclose?” and O’Grady’s heart
beat faster, say about ninety pulsations a min
ute, as his mind wandered over the whisky he
would buy with it.
Still no sign from Mrs. O’Grady.
“ Bad ’cess to yez, tare and ouns, ochone ac
cushla, whist machree. Howly Saint Pathrick
and the sarpents, why don’t yez sphake to me ?”
said Mr. O’Grady, pouring out a volley of first
class oaths in his own native tongue, for O’-
Grady could do all kinds of swearing, from low
profanity up to taking the test oath. It was an
incidental accomplishment which he pos
But while he yet spake the ghost slowly fad
,9(1 ynj aad e d
at it with distended eyeballs, and as it went off,
he bounded out of bed and rushed to the cup
board. Seizing the green glass bottle hs ar
ranged himself comfortably on the exterior of
about nine grown persons’ doses, and sank in
sensible upon the floor. There he 1-y through
all the silent watches of the night with the
clock ticking on the sideboard as the fleeting
hours swept past, and the rata nibbling at his
toes, and the vivacious cockroaches running
races on his legs. There he lay until the morn
ing sun beam d brightly o’er the landscape and
streamed in through tho open lattice, and the
morning air wafted in the balmy odor of the
honeysuckle and the clematis.
All Nature was smiling with loveliness and
beauty, but O’Grady didn’t care a cent. He
had a first-class load on, and ho laughed Na
ture to scorn.
But while ho reposed a knock a was heard
at tho door.
“ C’m in,” said O’Grady.
A man entered, and walking up to O’Grady
he lifted him on to a chair.
“How did it work, Teddy?” asked the new
Mr. O’Grady wanted to know how did what
“ Why the picture of Mrs. O’Grady,” said he.
Mr. O’Grady said there was no use of a pic
ture, the old woman had risen up and come
round herself; “washhush offer pieshure?”
inquired he, “ she’s in my room last night.
Hooray for Mish O’Grady! yez can’t keep the
old ’ooman down,” and Terence insinuated that
she’d rise up with the State House on her grave.
Mr. O’Grady’s friend then explained that he
bad painted a picture of Mrs. O’G., for his
stereoptieon, and, as he lived next door, he had
tried the effect of it by throwing it in on to Mr.
OjGrady’s wall. O’Grady was stunned, sober
ed, knocked off of his intellectual pins. Then
he let out his feelings in - number of choice ex
pressions which savored of profanity.
“ An’ that’s what it was,” said he; “ well ef I
didn’t think it was Mrs. O’Grady’s spectre.”
“And yon didn’t ex-spectre, did you?” in
quired his friend.
“Aw, that’s poor,” said O’Grady, regaining
his accustomed vivacity, “ that’s very poor;
I cad beat that myself: Why would Mrs. O’G.,
in her present position, do to eat with perta
ties ? Answer me that, now.”
“ Because she can't climb a tree 1” said the
feller, after a few moments’ pensive thought.
“No; because she’s grave-y,” observed Ted
The young man was so overcome by this un
expected remark that he bowed his head and
wept. O’Grady swabbed up the tears off of the
floor with the house-cloth, and then he went
out and courted another girl and married her,
and she soon fell into Mrs. O’Grady’s tracks,
and gave Terence his usual quantity of broowi
handle. O’Grady lived to a good, old age, and
at last died full of years and honor and Jamaica
rum, and there was a good deal of mourning at
his funeral, although it took plkce in the after
The careful reader will observe by perusing
the above that it is no.t first-class, in fact it is
weak; but the author desires to state that he
did the best lie could under the circumstances,
and if anybody is not satisfied, they had better
write their own stories after this. Nobody
knows how hard it is to write a ghost story ; at
first the author intended to be soul-harrowing,
and to introduce bloodshed and clanking chains,
but upon mature reflection he concluded that
the cause of science would be advanced by the
stereoptieon arrangement, and this was further
an inducement, from the fact that he has one
of them which he rents out to Sunday schools
at two dollars a night. Arrangements can be
made by addressing him at this office, inclosing
that amount.
The following story was related to me by an
old comrade named Thomas Graves :
“ The night was cloudless. A full moon rose
over the tops of the tall pines, and, gleaming
through the mist, gave it the appearance of a
silver veil.
“I was walking with my friend, Theodore
Thornton, through a winding forest-path, not
far from the camp of our regiment, the —th,
near the village of C -, in Arkansas, when
we were both startled by a shrill scream, that
penetrated the woods like tho whistling of a
“ We stood still, listening in breathless atten
tion for a repetition of the sound ; but we did
not hear it again'.
“ When we returned to camp, and described
what we had heard, we were informed that the
strange noise had also reached the ears of our
comrades, all of whom, like us, were com
pletely mystified as to the source whence it
“ ‘I would like to investigate the matter,’
said Captain Smith, of our company, a little
fellow, with short, bandy legs and a long sword.
‘ I will ask permission of the colonel to take s
seouting party into those woods.’
“Ho did so, and obtained the colonel’s son
“ A party, consisting of eight men with a
corporal and a sergeant, were picked out for
the expedition, and, having fined haversacks
and canteens, away they went, in high spirits.
“An hour later, my friend Thornton and I
were summoned for picket duty. Our muskets
were soon in cur hands, and, headed by a qpr
poral, we started on our way, with five or six
of our comrades. We continued on until we
reached the confines of a swamp, above which
were clouds of musketoes, making the air mu
sical with their shrill, spiteful humming, and
aggravating us with their sharp ‘ stinging,’
some of which were nearly four inches in
“ In this disagreeable locality we halted, and
my friend and I were at once picked out to
‘go on post.’ Threading our way, knee deep
in the mud, through the tangled grasses of the
swamp, we finally came to a small thicket.
“‘Here,’ said'the corporal, as he halted us
in the marshy grass, ‘ here’s where you aro to
stand guard. My instructions aro not to be
over particular, as there is not the slightest
chance of rebels penetrating here. You can
sit down and smoke, if you like, for a couple of
hours, after which you aro at liberty to pitch
your tent and go to sleep.”
“‘Not much of a chance of our pitching a
tent here,’ remarked Thornton, while the marsh
water squeaked dolefully in bin shoes. ‘We
would drown before morning.'
“ The corporal laughed.
“ ‘ Perhaps you can find a dry bank. You
need not confine yourselves to this particular
spot,’ he said; and, shouldering his musket,
he walked off.
“My friend and I always obeyed orders ; so,
lighting our pipes, we sat on a log and endeav
ored to smoke away the mosketoea. These lit
tle ‘ rebs ’ were not to be intimidated, however,
and they kept tantalizing us, in spite of the
clouds we puffed, which they skilfully avoided by
keeping to windward.
“When we thought a couple of hours had
passed, we started up and wont in search of a
dry spot, which proved as difficult to find as .a
good street commissioner. We wore not dis
couraged, however, and finally discovered a
perfect little nest—a hollow in a dry bank, just
large enough to contain our rather bulky per
sons. In great glee we proceeded at once to
pitch our-tent—a little shelter; and we were
soon reclining in the ‘ nest’ with closed eyes
and drowsy sense. I had fallen into a deep
slumber when suddenly I felt my friend shak
ing mo by the shoulder.
“‘ No noise, as yoti are a sinner!’ whispered
he; ‘ I hear footsteps; and just now I saw a
pair of eyes shining on us through the brake.’
“ Stealthily we rose to our knees, our ready
rifles in our hanjds.
“ ‘ Hush !’ whispered Thornton; ‘there they
come again—the steps.’
“In fact the noise was quite distinct; the
crashing and swashing of feet and legs over
dry branches and through marshy land. It
came nearer every moment. Suddenly it stop
ped ; and then I beheld the eyes gleaming like
two piercing globes of firo through the shad
ows of the shrubbery fronting our tent.
‘“Who goes there?’ thundered my friend,
springing to his feet.
“I jumped up, also; and as I did so, wo
were both almost stunned by tho same noise
we had previously heard in the forest; the
whistling and screaming like that of a locomo
tive 1
“‘My God! What is it?’ gasped Thornton.
“ We both cocked our pieces and commenced
advancing cautiously, when there was another
scream, a rush through the air, and wo stooped
just in time to avoid tho striped body of a huge
“ Crash went his form upon our tent, then
entangled in the ropes and canvas, he fell over
upon his side.
“Thornton took aim at the animals’ head,
pulled the trigger of his piece, and missed!
“‘D—n my luck!” he gritted through his
teeth, and quickly pulled another cap from his
“N»w it was my turn. The panther was upon
its feet, and crouched for another spring, when
my rille crashed, and with a terrible yell the
creature received my bullet in its neck. This,
however, did not prevent its making the spring;
and to my horror I saw poor Thornton borne to
the earth by the enraged beast. Its claws
pierced his breast and shoulders, and its great
fierce jaws were opened above his head to crush
in the skull, when I dealt it several deep stabs
in the side with my bayonet, which caused it
to turn upon me. Screaming and snarling it
sprung toward me ; but it was not as active as
formerly, and I avoided it bv dodging, using
my bayonet as I did so. Suddenly it made an
unexpected maneuvre ; turning itself quickly
round and dashing inside my guard, by which
means it succeeded in planting its claws in my
shoulders and throwing me down. I drew my
knife; but before I could use it, the animal
grasped my arm in its jaws and half crushed it.
The next moment, it fell over on its side, weak
ened by loss of blood, and I endeavored to re
gain my feet. The fiery orbs of the panther
had not quitted my face; and noticing the
movement I made, the ferocious beast seemed
to muster its expiring strength for a last effort
to destroy me. It rose upon its hind legs with
a wild unearthly yell, and throwing itself upon
me, thrust its sliaiq) daws into my neck, while
it seized mjr head in its jaws.”
f- “Njff HjWPy wowiileil I was ataost ea-
tirely helpless; and I gave myself up for lost.
I could feel the teeth of the monster pressing
and cutting my temples; also its claws pene
trating my throat from which the blood was
freely gushing. My comrade I know was scarce
ly able to move. I could hope for no assistance
from him ; I was completely at the mercy of my
fierce antagonist 1 Everything seemed to turn
of a dark red before my bewildered vision,
sharp, agonizing pains shot through my body,
I could scarcely breathe, and I fancied I could
already hear the panther’s sharp teeth crash
ing through my head 1 I was mistaken ; the
noise I heard was the crackling of the rifles of
Captain Smith’s party; and the next moment
down went my shaggy enemy pierceo by half a
dozen rifle balls.”
“ From tint time until I found myseli lying
in the Camp ospital, and Thornton reclining
on a bed not far < T, all was a blank to me.”
“My friend ■ I were soon convalescent,
and thanks to a tiilful surgeon, we were after
ward enabled to ■ng ago in battle with a foe
more civilized than the panther.”
A band of gitanos being in the neighborhood
of a village, one of the women went to a house
where lived a lady alone. This lady was a
young widow, rich, without children, and of
very handsome person. After having saluted
her, the gipsy repeated the harangue which she
had already studied, to the effect that there
was neither bachelor, widower, nor married
man, nobleman, nor gallant, endowed with a
thousand graces, who was not dying for love of
her, and then continued:
“Lady, I have contracted a great affection
for you, and since I know that you well merit
the riches you possess, notwithstanding that
you live heedless of your good fortune, I wish
to reveal to you a secret. You must know,
then, that in your cellar yon have a vast treas
ure ; nevertheless, you will experience great
difficulty at arriving at it, as it is enchanted,
and to remove it is impossible, save and alone
on the eve of Saint John. We are now at tie
18th of June, and it wants five days to the 23d;
therefore, in the meanwhile, collect some jew
els of gold and silver, and likewise some money,
whatever you please, provided it bo not copper,
and provide six tapers of white or yellow wax,
for at the time appointed I will come with a sis
ter of mine, when we will extract from the cel
lar such abundance of riches, that you will be
able to live in a style which will excite the envy
of the whole country.”
The ignorant widow, hearing these words,
put implicit confidence in the deceiver, and im
agined that she already possessed all the gold
of Arabia and the silver of Potosi. The ap
pointed day arrived, and not more punctual
were the two gipsies than anxiously expected
by the lady. Being asked whether she had
prepared all as she had been desired, she re
plied in the affirmative, when the gipsy thus
addressed her:
“You must know, good lady, that gold calls
forth gold, and silver calls forth silver. Let us
light these tapers, and descend to the cellar
before it grows late, in order that we may have
time for our conjurations.”
.Thereupon the trio—the widow and the two
gipsies—went down," and having lighted the ta
pers and placed them in candlesticks in the
shape of a circle, they deposited in the midst a
silver tankard, with some pieces of eight, and
some corals tipped with gold, and other jewels
of small value. They then told the lady it was
necessary for them all to return to the stair
case by which they had descended to the cellar,
and there they uplifted their hands, and re
mained for a short time as if engaged in prayer.
The two gipsies then bade the widow wait for
them, and descended again, when they com
menced holding a conversation, speaking and
answering alternately, and altering their voices
in such a manner that five or six people ap
peared to be in the cellar.
“Blessed little Saint John,” said one, “will
it be possible to remove the treasure which you
kept hidden here ?”
“ Oh, yes: and with a little more trouble it
will bo yours,” replied the gipsy sister, altering
her voice to a thin treble, as if it proceeded
from a child four or five years old.
In the meantime, the lady remained aston
ished, expecting the promised riches; and the
two gitanos presently coming to her, said :
“ Come up, lady, for our desire is upon the
point of being gratified. Bring now the best
petticoat, gown and mantle which you have in
your chest, that I may dress myself and appear
in other guise to what I do now.”
The simple woman, not perceiving the" trick
they were playing upon her, ascended with
them to the doorway, and leaving them alone,
went to fetch the tilings which they demanded.
Thereupon the two gipsies, s'eeing themselves
at liberty, and having already pocketed the
gold and silver which had been deposited for
the conjuration, opened the street-door, and
escaped with all the speed they could. The be
guiled widow returned laden with the clothes,
and not finding those whom she had left wait
ing, descended into the cellar, when, perceiving
the trick which they had played her, and the
robbery which they had committed in stealing
her jewels, she began to ery and weep, but all
in vain. All the neighbors hastened" to her,
and to them she related her misfortune, which
served more to raise laughter and jeers at her
expense than to excite pity, though the sub
tlety of the two female thieves was universally
praised. These latter, as soon as they had
gone out of the door, knew well how to conceal
themselves, for having once reached the mount
ain, it was not possible to find them. So much
for their divination, their foreseeing things to
come, their power over the secrets of nature,
and their knowledge of the stars.
Those who take an interest—and who does
not ?—in the faithful attachment of dumb ani
mals to their owner’s may peruse with pleas
ure Jhe following anecdote, which, from the
character of journal relating it (a French
scientific periodical of high repute,) doubtless
possesses the element of truth. The proprie
tor of a chateau, in the neighborhood of Cas
sel, died a short time since, and his remains,
amid a wide-spread grief, were lowered into
the family vault, and deposited on a sarcopha
gus in the subterranean chapel, pending the
completion of certain operations necessary to
prepare the place destined for the coffin. 'The
deceased had owned a hound, to which he was
particularlr attached, and Lucy returned him
his affection with double interest. At the death
of her master the poor beast would not quit his
death chamber, and was seen on the morrow,
with head bowed down and eye mournful and
sad, following with measured step the funeral
cortege, accompanying to its last resting-place
the body of him of whom she had been so fond.
After the ceremony, when the friends and neigh
bors had retired, the outlets of the vault were
carefully closed, and for a time no one thought
of Lucy; but when at length they sought her
she could not bo found, notwithstanding the
active search made over all the estate. The
servant specially charged with the care of the
kennel suggested that, as Lucy was with young,
she had been prostrated in some cave or hol
low in the neighborhood, as she had been in
times before. In the meantime the workmen
were sent for to complete the details of the in
terment, but it was not till the lapse of ten
days that they could got to the tomb. The firs t
visit to the remains of one so justly lamented
was made with a ceremonious solemnity. But
what a spectacle presented itself to the view of
the visitors! The pall hadgbeen pulled off, the
lid of the coffin torn open, and upon the breast
of the deceased there lay another cornse—that
of poor Lucy, who, without doubt, after having
borne her litter, had come to die upon the body
of her master. In a corner of the vault were
found expiring, the seven little ones, whom the
poor mother had ceased to nourish because
she had ceased to live. It is difficult to imag
ine the labor the faithful creature must have
gone through in order to lay bare the body of
her master, whom she would seem to have
wished to bring to life again. The cover of the
coffin had been gnawed open; the shroud vias
in pieces; but the corpse remained intact.
Sensation after Decapitation.
It is believed by the medical men that Le
maire, the murderer recently guillotined at
Paris, continued to be conscious some time
after his head was separated from his body.
The cerebral centres and the organs of thought
were intact, and the circulation of blood con
tinued until the veins and arteries were drained,.
consequently, he must have experienced pain, ’
and must have thought; and even though this
state continued only thirty seconds, it must
have seemed an age. The dentist who extracts
a tooth seems to the patient to move slowly. It
is possible that every beheaded criminal neither
thinks nor feels, since the majority of them are
more than half dead before they reach the scaf
fold. We know, nevertheless, how energetic is
the reaction which takes place alter the dreaded
moment has passed away. The merchant who
resorts to every expedient to avert bankruptcy,
whose life is a fever, and whose nights are
sleepless,, feels a very great relief after the pro
test which seals the fate he had struggled so
hard to shun. The rogue who taxes his inge
nuity to its greatest capacity to hide from the
pursuing detective, experiences a smiling relief
when the detective lays his hand upon him.
May not some such reaction ensue in the be
headed criminal’s mind, after the knife has
fallen ? Analogy would warrant the probability
of the hypothesis. I think our medical men are
inclining more to the belief that consciousness
and thought exists in the beheaded after de
capitation with every advance made by science.
Dr. Brown-Sequard’s experiment (which is
mentioned with many other curious experi
ments in Dr. Onimus’ valuable work on the Dy
namic Theory of Heat in the Biological Sci
ences) seems conclusive on this subject, and it
■vs to be regretted that it has never been made
on a beheaded criminal: “Decapitate a dog,
wait until the muscles of the head have lost
their excitability, the eye-lids close, and the
eyes become dull. Then inject red blood into
the cerebral arteries, and in a short time heat
re-appears, the muscles become easily excita
ble, the eye-lids open, and the eyes’ recover
their expression. If the experiment-maker
ceases the injections of arterial blood, the signs
of death rapidly re-appear, and again disappear
if the injections of oxygenated blood are re-
PMwb pntto.
Woman’s Curiosity Rewarded. —The
Detroit Post says: “Two ladies called at the
office of one of our well-known physicians.
While one of them was consulting the physician
m his. private office, the other, prompted by
curiosity or some kindred impulse, proceeded
to investigate the contents of a large caso of
bottles, jars, &c., in the outer office. Between
the; two apartments was a glass door, over
which was a paper shade, which, however, was
torn across one corner so that it was possible
to see from one room into the nearing
a rattling among his bottles, t-ho physician
stepped to the glass door and looked through
to see what was going on. He discovered the
lady in the act of tailing down one bottle after
another and smelling of tho contents thereof.
At length she got hold of something which evi
dently pleased her olfactories. She smelled and
smelled again, and each time it was more ap
parent that she was more pleased than before.
She then poured some of the liquid into her
hand and smelled again. This time her entire
satisfaction with the result of her investiga
tions was evident, and she hastily rubbed the
liquid upon her nose and portions of her face
contiguous thereto, replaced the bottle and
took nor seat, as she heard a rustling in the
outer room, indicating that the consultation
was at an end, and that the consulting parties
were returning. The physician, knowing what
the result would be, detained the ladies in con
versation for several minutes. Before tho end
of that time, as the lady eat near a warm stove,
her nose and portions of her face began to turn
to a deep olive color, and before she departed
they had assumed a brown. She
had mistaken the doctor’s favorite hair-dye for
perfumery. She will be an invalid, and will not
receive calls for a week to come.”
First-Class Jokes.—A small amount
of wit will go a long way when a man has an
established reputation. If Smith* or Jones
had been the author of the following “char
acteristic anecdotes,” instead of Artemus Ward,
would any admiring Boswell have been found
to accord them : “On more than one occasion
Artemus Ward has been known to go up to a
respectable stranger he might chance to meet
upon the street, snake his hand fervently, and
remind him of his early days in some far-off'
country town, speak of the “old folks,” and
describe the sorrow of “poor Aunt Hannah” at
her boy’s coming to the “wild and whirling”
metropolis, and advise the astonished stranger
to return at once to home and virtue. “AU
will be forgiven, John,” he would exclaim,
‘and all forgotten. Take my advice, and go
back.’ A writer in the Weekly lieview says he
went with Browne to his hotel late one night,
not long before his departure to Endland. A
waiter was summoned,Jwith a view to convivial
refreshment. ‘James,’ the humorist said, tak
ing off ms overcoat, ‘has Mr.——’(naming
the propri'etor of the hotel,) ‘ has Mr.——- gone
to bed?’ ‘Yes, sir.’ ‘Then, James, will you
just go to him and wake him up, and tell him
with my sincere regards, that the price of lib
erty is eternal vigilance. Remember that mes
sage, James, and—don’t wait.’ And tho waiter
retired in a convulsion of suppressed merri
ment.” Should any of our readers burst blood
vessels after reading the foregoing jokes, in
tho attempt to suppress their merriment, we
hope the “coroner’s quest” won’t hold us
guilty. . . . . .
Raising the Dead with Greenbacks.
—ln one of his recent letters from this city,
Mark Twain relates the following affecting
story : Two weeks ago, a woman in great dis
tress, applied to a Ladies’ Benevolent Society
here for means to bury her husband. They
made due inquiry, and then gave her the nec
essary amount of money. Ono of these ladies
had for a long time been praying to her Heav
enly Father for a questionable blessing in the
shape of a child, and contracting that if her
prayers were answered she would perform some
deed of notable benevolence as a stand-offi Iler
prayers were answered in the most complimen
tary manner—she had triplets. She had trip
lets, and naturally her husband shut down on
her devotions. But that lias got nothing to do
with my story. She heard of this sorrowing
woman, and she thought it a good time to com
ply with her contract. She went to the house
ol mourning, and counted out one hundred dol
lars in greenbacks on the dead man’s coffin,
and the weeping widow blessed her. It is con
sidered the fair thing here to pay praying debts
m greenbacks. The charitable lady had not
been gone many minutes before she discovered
she had left her gloves behind her. She rushed
back to the abode of death, and found that in
fernal corpse sitting up in the coffin, examining
the greenbacks with a Bank Note Reporter!
They plague the benevolent lady a good deal,
but she does not mind it. In fact, she is rather
proud of raising the dead with a handful of
An Accomodating Husband.—A
Northern gentleman wno has for some time
been residing in Fernandina, Florida, in speak
ing of the ignorant whites of that section, tells
the following amusing story: One day an
elderly man, some seventy years of age, and a
girl came into an office ho was occupying with
a Justice of the Peace to be married. There
was such a discrepancy in their age the gentle
man was quite shocked, and felt it his duty to
inquire into the matter a little. He found it,
however all right, it being a regular love match.
After they were married, certificate made out
&c., he said he tried to impress upon them the
sacredness of the marital relations and vows,
and laid particular stress upon the certificate
(as something tangible,) and exhorted them to
preserve that inviolate “till death did them
part.” Some months after he says, walking to
his office, he espied this old gentleman in the
street driving the inevitable steer, and seated
in the cart alone. He could not resist the temp
tation of spealdng to him. The old gentleman
was pleased to see him, and at once told him
that ne was just going to his office to have his
marriage certificate changed. “ That gal,”
said he, the Justice jined me to has gone and
jined herself to another man. I remembering
what you said about the stiff kit—how sacred
’twas, and all that, and I nevbr lost it, and 1
was going over to see if you couldn’t scratch
out my name and put his in, and save him the
Twaddle.—We never read anything
like the following without feeling considerably
disgusted. As if a young man can fall in love
with the “ right and proper ” woman always.
It is about as much use giving such advice as it
would be to request the stars not to shine on
the same nights that the moon is around. It
is tho business of the stars to shine and twinkle,
and of young men to love, marry, and find
themselves “ taken in ” when too late. It was
so in the time of Abraham, and it will be so till
Gabriel blows his horn: “Youngman! don’t
do it. Don’t marry dimples, nor ankles, nor
eyes, nor hair, nor mouths, nor chins, nor
necks, nor simpers. These bits and scraps of
femininity are mighty poor things to tie to.
Marry the true thing. Look after congeniality,
kindred sympathies, dispositions, education,
and if these be joined with social position, or
even a little lucre, why don’t let them stand in
tho way., Get a woman—not one of these parlor
lay figures—one of these automata that sits
down just so—gets up just so—thump a piano
and dote on a whisker. Living statues are
poor things to call into consideration where
bread and beef is the question. The poor little
mind that can scarcely fathom the depths of a
dress trimming can’t boa helpmate of any ac
count. Don’t throw away your time on it.”
A Mabbying Woman.—There is a
married couple living in this county whose
matrimonial "history is rather unusual, the wo
man having been married four times, and yet
is living with her first husband. After sharing
the couch of her first “ worser-half” a few
years, the wife got a divorce from husband No.
1, and was married to husband No. 2. In a lit
tle while she applied for and obtained a divorce
from husband No. 2, and was married to hus
band No. 3. In the course of time she became
weary of her bonds, and was divorced from
husband No. 3. Then her first love resumed
its sway in her heart, and, to make amends for
her seeming waywardness, she sought out and
again met husband No. 1, when they were the
second time indissolubly bound up in tho ten
der cords of wedlock, and are now living hap
pily and peacefully together, with the company
of two children by their first marriage. She
was not blessed with any offspring by either
her second or third husband ; so, after years of
separation from her first object of happiness,
naught now remains to remind her of the past
estrangement save the memory of husbands
Nos. 2 and 3.—Winemax Democrat.
A Persevering Yankee.—A Yankee
at St. Joseph, Missouri, is thus celebrated by
the Union of that city: The mythical story
that Noah found a Yankee grocery in Ararat,
after the partial subsidence of the waters, as
illustrative of the enterprise of that peculiar
genus, finds a counterpart in the experience of
a genuine specimen, who arrived in our city a
few weeks since. Upon his arrival, he com
menced stencil cutting on the street, and
drove a thriving business, housed under a di
lapidated umbrella. Tho next week found him
ensconced in a room, carrying on an intelli
gence office. During the third week he circu
lated in the double capacity of sewing-machine
agent and repairer of window-shades. On tho
fourth week he branched out as a door-plate
manufacturer, and at the beginning of the
next week he hung out his shingle as attorney
and eounsellor-at-lair. It is expected that he
will run for Congress at the next election.
Singular Escape.—Two little twin
Irish girls of Holyoke, Mass., about three years
old, named Toomey, were struck 1 by a locomo
tive, a few days ago; while at play on the track.
Both were thrown several feet into the air, ono
falling into some bushes and the other into the
water, which sets back at that point along the
back side of the track. They were at first
thought to be fatally injured, but by strange
good fortune no bones were broken, and at
evening both were still living, with hopes of re
covery. The child who fell into the water was
the least injured by tho engine, but narrowly
escaped death by drowning. No growm person
could have possibly BujyiyeJ tlje accident, . {
Sunday Edition. May 12.
Digging up a Corpse. —An extras'
ordinary case of violation of sepulchre ha?>
just occurred in one of tho French Depart
ments at Louvroil (Nord.) A workman named
Magnan, aged 23, lad the misfortune, about a
month back, to lose his wife, to whom he was!
greatly attached, and a few days after his grief 1
was augmented bythe death of his child. Front
that, moment the husband appeared to haver
partially lost his reason, and ho was continually
talking of his deceased partner, and expressing
the belief that she had only left him for a short.
timo and would soon return. Recently, aftes?:
spending a short time in a wine-shop, where!
some drink which ho took had still further un
settled his mind, he returned home, took a
spade, and proceeding to the cemetery, corn-";
monced removing the earth from the woman’#
grave. After some hours’ labor he Bucceode®
m bringing the coffin to tho surface, and then 3 ‘
forcing off the lid, took out the corpse, and car*?
Tying it home ir his arms, placed it in his bed,’
and then, after lighting a fire, went and jn-s
formed three of his neighbors that his wife has>
returned home. These latter, although not",
attaching any importance to his words, accom
panied him home with the view of inducing hm>:
to retire to rest, but were horrified to find th®!
body as Magnan had stated. The unfortunate’
workman spoke to it as if still living, and en«l
deavored to obtain a reply by-addressing it irij
the most endearing terms. Finding it, how-!;
ever, deaf to his entroa.ies, he allowed himself!
to be persuaded to carry it back and replace its!
m the coffin, which he restored to the grave #
he also filled in tho earth and went home tell
Bleep. On the following day Magnan bad net
recollection of what took place on the previous!' l
evening, but said that he thought he had
his wife during the night. Tho authorities haver
not given orders for his arrest, but have di-1
rected that he should be strictly watched as£
weak in mind.
An Elopement in High Lute fro<{
Staunton.— An elopement occurred in Staun4i
ton, Virginia, a few days since, the particulars'
of which, as we learn, are that Mrs.
a young lady endowed with rare beauty an<®
high literary attainments, ran off with a Mr«u
Gilkie, a gay Lothario who had been sojourn**;
mg a month or more in that town. He is young,
and strikingly handsome, with most pleasing!
manners, and had visited nearly every clime onri
the globe. He was frequently at the house oS
the outraged husband, but G. had never givers
him the slightest cause to suspect that he wasi
making any improper advances or proposals to,
his wile. Having arranged all the prelimina-*
ries for their departure, the heartless womanJ
at the mid-hour of night, deserted a devoteaj:
husband to travel with a mere adventurer to'J
parts unknown. The husband pursued this
loving twain to Washington city, but finding it?’
impossible to overtake them or to learn in(
which direction they had gone, concluded to,
abandon further pursuit, and returned to his
home with a grief-stricken heart. Mrs. L. wasj
taken by an old gentleman of Staunton when'!
but an infant, and in the most indigent circum-=H
stances, _ and was sent to the best female instil
tutions in the State until she was
educated, and until this sad occurrence was an£
ornament to the circle in which she moved, and*
had many influential friends in Staunton.—’i
Richmond Dispatch,
A Sad History.—A few days sine®
we announced tho accidental death of ani|
abandoned woman in Louisville, Ky., named!.!
Kate Carrigan. She was strangled to death byti
falling from a fence upon which a portion of,
her wearing apparel bad caught. The wretch-;
ed woman was hi a state of intoxication at thai
time. A Nashville paper recalls a scrap oe
two of the history of this poor female whiblj
reads a sad Icason : She was the only daughter!
of wealthy parents, a Virginian by birth, an<3j
at the age of fourteen was left fatherless. Twat
years later she was seduced by some fiend iq
human shape, and a few weeks after, in a fit oft
remorse which could not have been far fronft
actual insanity, abandoned a luxurious horn#
and plunged into the wildest vortex of dissipaJ
tion. She wandered from city to city, sinkings
lower and lower, and about a year after the
close of the war came to Nashville. From this;
point her broken-hearted mother heard theJ
first news of her erring daughter, and sent noj
uncle to bring home tho lost child. He was?
unsuccessful, is all that we know. The poor?
girl afterwaid went to Louisville, and tho endL
we have already seen. A bit of charnal hous®
elay, in a rough pine cofiin, above which is 1
heaped the rude earth of a pauper’s grave, is
all that remains to tell of the career of this
once pure and lovely woman, in this dark, cru
. el world.
An Infamous Trade.—lt
that the system of trafficking in young girls’"!
for the atrocious purpose of infamy and prosti-’j
tution is still carried on to a considerable 6x41
tent, and that many young girls are decoyed]
from their homes, both in this country ana!
abroad, and imported to houses of ill-famed
under the pretence of being placed in good sit-j
nations. Recently two girls' were lured fronV
their homes in Belgium. Inquiries were mad®
in all directions to find them, but unavailing,!
The father, saddened beyond all expression.*
returned to his ordinary avocations, but a fowl
days ago was informed that his daughters were!
then at a house in Newman street, London,
Ho at once proceeded to London, sought the!
aid of an inspector of tho detective police.)
Scotland yard, and repaired to the house, where:!
he found his children neither more nor less than]
common prostitutes. They averred that on theiiS
way to church they were accosted by a female?:
who gave the name of Ems, and promised thems!
good situations; that they accompanied her to?!
Anvers, from which place they were removed!
to Havre, and afterward to London, where they?!
were placed in the brothel named. They post?!
tively*refused to return home, and their fath#e]
cast them oil' and left them to tlieir fate.— LoioA
don Daily News.
Appalling Tragedy.—The Cleveland?
(Ohio) Leader, of May Ist, says : An appalling:
tragedy took place yesterday about two mile#'
East of the village of Wellington. It appear#;
that a woman darned Knapp, whose husband,)
lost his life in the army three years, ago, hasji
been for some time living on terms of imprope#]
intimacy with a man named De Long. Not long)
since she obtained a loan of six hundred dol->
lars from De Long, promising as security m
mortgage on a small estate left her by her huss
band. Having secured the money she
to give the mortgage. Enraged at this, Dig
Long procured a revolver and went to her houses
and deliberately shot her through the breast?!
and immediately afterward ended his wretched#
desperate life by shooting himself. He lingered}'!
a few hours and expired. Mrs. Knapp, at last'
accounts, was still living, but her life was des«i
paired of.
True Enough.—Poots says there igs
no little circumstance quite so annoying, as t(f>
knock at a neighbor’s door, and upon its being*!
opened by some blooming lass with rosy cheeks®
and eyes Jthat act upon one’s heart like a
of shot among a flock of wild,ducks, to have sjj
malicious and spiteful little dog rush out of the,
hall snapping at your Shins, and yelping at ev4s
ery word you attempt to utter, like ono of Mil«y
ton’s infernal pups sitting before.,the gates ofi
Tophet. You are disconcerted at the
cd appearance of the smiling beauty, and yoxs
stand ducking to the lady and dodging the dogj
vainly endeavoring to make known your errand J
among poorly concealed curses at the yelping?
cur. You smother an involuntary “ thqi
dog,” with “ a damp day Madam,” and have
pleasing consciousness of appearing like a cow®*
summate fool generally. Poots is right. : ’
A Fair Exchange.—A curiohs
dent took place lately at Breitenau m Styria*,
Austria. A young pea-Baut of that neighborhood
had contemplated entering the married stats,’’
and, in fact, the first publication of tho banns;;
had taken place. In the meantime his
met a young man who pleased her better, andb
she at once declared her intention of having]!
him for her husband in nreference to the first,-!
who, understanding that he could not be happy
with a woman who did not love him, com?
menced negotiations with the other, and ceded]
all his rights to the lady for the consideration
of thirty florins, about one hundred francs.
The two young men, adds the Wiesier Zeitunffa,
equally congratulate themselves on having
made such a good bargain.
A High Private.—Among the pri
vate soldiers now on duty at the Jackson Bar
racks, below the city of New Orleans, is one by
tho name of Shultz, who served during the latq
war as colonel of an Illinois regiment, anc£|
upon leaving the service was brevetted to the-;
grade of brigadier. Finding, no doubt, a charm.!
in military fife, he re-entered the service and!
enlisted as a high private. But hero’s the rub.?
By an act of Congress, all ex-officers of the’
United States are permitted upon military oc
casions of importance to wear the insignia of*]
the brevet rank. Therefore, upon the next;
parade, will be presented the curious anomaly i
of a brigadier’s star carried on the same shout?
der with a musket. Will the inspected outrank
the inspector ?
Pious Brigands, -r- Signor Pollinf)
who was captured a short time since by Papal
brigands, has been set at liberty. He reports
that he experienced harsh treatment only for
the first few days, but was afterward treated
very kindly. He says that the brigands repeat
the rosary every night before going to bed.
On leaving, ho gave them his watch-chain as a.
souvenir, and got a prayer-book from them in.
return. This reminds one of what took place
in Sicily when Mieroslawski was campaigning;
there. A brigand was brought before him anq
charged with being a spy. The brigand fire®
up with indignation and shouted: “I a spy? K
am a brigand, a Catholic, and a patriot.”
A Series of Serious Casualities.—m
A negro woman left her two little children
locked up in her room in Philadelphia, and the
following chapter of accidents ensued. Th#
children set fire to the room while playing with;
matches, and they were both suffocated t®
death; a fireman, while endeavoring to extin
guish the flames, was struck on the bead witl»;
an iron hook and killed, and the house of Dr.
Clintock, in the vicinity, caught fire from a
spark of a steam fire-engine at work on
first fij# and wm almost entirety destroyed. 1 •

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