New York dispatch. [volume], November 02, 1884, Page 4, Image 4

About New York dispatch. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1863-1899

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4
CONTENTS OF INSIDE PAGES.
SECOND PAGE:
CONTINUATION OF “ROSEMARY.”
FALSE DAUPHINS,
SMUGGLING A CORPSE.
NATURAL GAS AND OIL.
A HUNT IN NEW GUINEA,
THE HUB VB, GOTHAM.
MANNING THE PUMPS.
A NOTORIOUS CHARACTER,
tHE DETROIT SOLOMON.
AUTUMN ALLIGATOR HUNTING
THIRD PAGE:
MASONIC MATTERS: The Falling Leaves; Command
erjr News; The Simmons Testimonial: Architect
Union; Hope Lodge; A. A. Rite; Personal; “Gone
Before;’’ Questions and Answers; Letter from Con
necticut; Washington. D. C.; Masonio Literature;
The Bull Once More.
’ SIXTH PAGE t
FATHER AND CHILD.
CONCLUSION OF “FOR LIFE AND LOVE.”"
NEWSPAPER FABLES.
WHAT A POSTAL CARD DID.
DEVICES OF DEADHEADS,
WHISTLING MR. WEST.
HEADLESS SPOOKS.
A REMARKABLE PHOTOGRAPH,
BIG GUNS.
INTERESTING MISCELLANEOUS MATTERS.
SEVENTH PAGE:
THREE LITTLE SPARROWS.
YOU AND I TOGETHER.
BILL NYE IN ROME.
TEMPTING THE PROWLERS.
DOLLY SKAGLOCK’S CASE.
OUR WEEKLY GOSSIP.
iMlll 1111 II ■ULU.WWI. I , ■— IMUMIJJBm
ftotM nml
E. M. AND P. M. —According to a re
cent decision of Judge McAdam, of the City Court,
B man coming of ago on the sth of November can
and vote at the coming election on Novem
ber 4th, 1884. The following is tho opinion of the
above named Judge: “In law a person is reputed
to be twenty-one years of age on the opening of the
• last day of the twenty-first year of his life, although
by the natural computation of time, several hours
might intervene before he actually attains to the
full age of twenty-one years. The law does not
jrocognizo fractional parts of a day. A person born
on the sth day of Nov., 1863, is therefore of age, and
entitled to vote on the 4th of Nov., 1884, This was
bo decided in the State vs. Clark (3 Barring, 557,)
end the rule there declared is as old as tho common
law."
K. L. M.—To make stramonium oint
moot: Mash one-half bushel of green stramonium
or jimson leaves to a pulp (this is best done by
mashing a few leaves at a time), put the pulp in an
iron kettle over a slow fire. Add two and a half
pounds fresh lard and simmer to a crisp. Strain
and box for use. Or: Take extract or stramonium,
one drachm; lard, one ounce, and mix by tritura
tion, This ointment is excellent for strengthening
broken limbs after the bones have healed. It is
also good for skin diseases, painful piles, ulcers,
burns and scalds. It is probably tho best ointment
that can be kept for family use.
F. K,—“A, B, C and Dare playing
a game of cribbage. A makes a run and fails to call
it, can C, his partner, call it for him, and has he the
privilege of counting his partner’s hand ?" On this
bolnt Hoyle says: “At the commencement of the
Bitting it is decided which two of the four players
Bhall have the management of the score, and the
board Is placed between them. The other two are
not allowed to touch the board or pegs, though
each player may prompt his partner and point out
any omissions or irregularities he may discover in
computation or scoring."
E, W. Boyle.—ln 1868 Horatio Sey
mour had 10,000 more votes than Gen. Grant in the
State of New York for the Presidency. This, you
Will remember, was the year in which the groat
frauds on the ballot-box were perpetrated in New
York city and Brooklyn. In 1876 Samuel J. Tilden
had more votes in this State than Rutherford
B. Hayes. These arc the only two occasions since
the organization of the Republican party that the
Democrats have beaten v£° Republicans in a Presi
dential contest in the Stated New York.
J. M.—Gen. John A. LogftD, th® Re
publican candidate for the Vice-Presidency,
born near what is now Murphysboro, Jackson
county, 111., February 9th. 1824, and is the eldest
.of elevon children. His father. Dr. Logan, had opmo
from Ireland to Illinois three years before, marrying
Elizabeth Jenkins, a Tennessee lady. John received
bis early education from his father, and in such
schools as the locality afforded at the time. In 1840
he was for a few months a student of an academy
called Shiloh College,
Melrose.—lst. The official returns
from Ohio show the following result in the recent
State election for Secretary of State : Robinson, Re-
SUblican, 391,599; Newman, Democrat, 380,275;
'orris. Prohibition, 9,857; Herold, Greenback, 3,580.
These figures show that the Republican lacked <
3,113 of a majority, and eave to the Republican a
plurality of 11,324 over the Democratic candidate. .
The Secretary of State is the head of the ticket, and '
all bets are decided by the head of the ticket.
Old Reader.—lt lias been asserted i
that Mr. Frank S. Chanfrau formed^) s performance i
of Mose, in “A Glance at New YorS?’ on tho pecu- 1
parities of a fireman who was at one time a mem- (
her of old No. 40 engine company, and who went to ,
the Sandwich Islands about 1848. How much truth .
there is in the assertion we do not know. Mr. Chan- ,
frau was tho first actor that ever played the part of ‘
Mpse, and Mary Taylor was the original Lize.
?’ Pudge.— The last appearance of Mr. j
W. R. Blake was at his benefit at Laura Keene’s
Theatre, April 16th, 1863, when he appeared as Sir T
Anthony Absolute, in “ The Rivals,” and iu z his
great character'll Joeffrey Dale, in “The Last Mau.” J
On the next evening, Iridny, April 17th, Mr. Chas. J
Whaatleigh took his benefit, appearing in “ The Col- 1
lean Bawn " and “A Model Wife.”
Inquisitive.—Queen Victoria was born J
at Kensington Palace. May 24th, 1819. She is the 5
aixth sovereign of the house of Hanover, and is the .
only child of Edward, Duke of Kent, fourth son of .
George LIT. and the Princess Victoria Mary Louisa, 1
of Saxe-Coburg-Saalfeld, relict of the hereditary *
Prince of Leiningen.
Yorkville. —Majority means more ]
than one-balf. A candidate to have a majority must s
receive more than one-half of tho total number of
votes cast. Plurality means a greater number. A ■
plurality of votes is the excess of votes cast for one
candidate over those cast for any one of several com- 1
peting candidates.
J. T. W. —lst. It is not a sign of de- I!
0»7 that your hair is changing color, or an indica
tion that your health is in any way impaired. 2d.
It A run the game ot billiards out in tho lirst inning
before you bad an inning, ho would certainly win
the game and have the right to claim the wager.
Blaine and Logan.—Your father’s
naturalisation papers naturalizes all his minor chil
dren living in the United States at the time of his
naturalisation. You can register and vote without
producing papers, as you were a minor living in
this country at tho time of his naturalization.
Stutoh.—lst. It is usual in the game
of euohro with tho joker, for the dealer when the
joker is turned up, to make the trump from his
wind taking tho joker up. 2d. The interchange of
cards in the game of onohre must be agreed upon
at the outset otthe game.
Edward Decker.—The candidate for
President must have a majority (more than one-hall)
ot the votes ot tho Electoral College before he can
elected. Tho Electoral College for 1884 will cast
401 votes, consequently the successful candidate
juust receive at least 201.
Chas. Walsh. —E. L. Davenport
played Brutus, Lawrence Barrett Cassius, F. C.
Bangs Marc Antony, and Milnes Levick Julius Cas
par, tho last time ” Julius Cwsar” was played at
Booth's Theatre.
Theodore Steffens. —John Kelly ran
for Governor of this State against Lucius Robinson
(Democrat) and Alonzo B. Cornell (Republican) in
1879. The total number of votes polled by Mr. Kelly
was 77,566.
A Republican.—lst. The word “Phoe
nix’* (also spelled phenlx) is pronounced as though
•pelled /re-nix. 2d. Tho gentleman to whom you
refer is now employed at No. 27 Rose street, this
city.
' Harry, Tom and Bill.—This is the
law in the game of euchre: If a deal Is made out of
turn it is good, provided it is not discovered before
the dealer has discarded and the eldest hand has
led.
H. Freeman.—According to the cen
sus of 1880 the total population of the United States
•was 49,371,340. Of this number 42,871,556 were na
tive born, and 6,409,784 were foreign bom.
J. J. A.—lf you could prove the
.mount of wages your employer agreed to pay you,
you could sue and rocover the amount of the deduc
tion he has made.
Duffy.—lt would be safer to have a
Will drawn up in the usual way. A good lawyer
would attend to the matter for you for a very
moderate sum.
J. T. G.—A physician can sue and get
judgment for his bill for professional services ren
dered, and have the same recourse as others holding
judgments.
Lulu. —We believe there is a cooking
BChool at Cooper Institute. Information can bo ob
tained by addressing the Secretary of the Institu
tion,
J. F.—The vote of New York city in
the Presidential contest of 1880 was: Garfield, 81,730;
Hancock, 123,013. Hancock's plurality, 41,283.
Razor Back. —We have no record of
the Worrell sisters playing in ” Under the Gaslight”
at the Globe Theatre in this city.
A. C. W.—We could not inform you
how to remove the glass unless we knew the nature
of the cement used originally.
A Reader. —In the game of checkers
a player is compelled to jump when the oppor
tunity affords itself.
S. B. —Gen. John C. Fremont was the
first Presidential candidate of the present Repub
lican party in 1856.
A. G. —The salary of the President of
the United States is $50,000. That of the Vice-
President is SB,OOO.
Fort Washington.—We would advise
you to address one of the references published in
the advertisement.
J. J. K.—ln the sentence which you
guota tho use of the imperfect tense would be
proper.
Old Reader. —We could not devote
sufficient space to give you the information desired.
Constant Reader.—lst. See “Mel
rose.” 2d. Will answer other queries in our next.
Leopold.—The Daily Register pub
lishes real estate sales in advance.
Lillian.—Your best course would be
to consult some reliable lawyer.
Constant EV.ader.—The 29th of June,
1569, fell on Wednesday.
J, F. F.—See “Melrose.”
NEW YORK, NOVEMBER 2, 1884.
TO ADVERTISERS.
ADVERTISING IS TWENTY-FIVE CENTS A LINE IN
THE NEW YORK DISPATCH,
Owing to our large edition we are compelled to go to
press at an early hour, henoo ADVERTISEMENTS CAN
NOT BE RECEIVED AFTER NINE O’CLOCK SATUR
DAY EVENING.
' To Masonic Advertisers.
Those desiring to advertise In our Masonic columns
must have their advertisements in our office BEFORE
; TWO O’CLOCK on FRIDAY AFTERNOON. No ad
vertisement can be inserted on the Moronic Fage alter
that hour.
The Disr»atoll In Boston.
The New York Dispatch can be found at White’s i
news stand. International Hotel
The NEW YORK DISPATCH
has a larger circulation than any :
other Sunday Newspaper pub- >
lished in the United States.
Republican National Ticket. J
For President:
JAMES G. BLAINE,
OF MAINE,
For Vice-President :
JOHN A. LOGAN,
OF ILLINOIS.
■
FOR PRESIDENTIAL ELECTORS STATE OF NEW ]
YORK.
At Large. j
Birdseye Blakeman. ' Charles L. Reason,
Di st. Dist.
1. Benj. H. Warford. 18. Edward Dodd.
82. Robert Carson. - 19. Hamilton Harris. (
3. William Ray. 20. Livingston Ellwood. f
4. John Winslow. 21. Albert Hobbs. f
5. Francis F. Williams. 22. William W.Butterfleld i
6. Peter H. Shurts. 23. William S. Bartlett. £
7. Guy R. Pelton. 24. David Wilber. c
•8. Garrett Roach. 25. Perrin H. McGraw.
9. Edwin A. McAlpin, 26. Job N. Congdon.
10. John A. Stewart. 27. George B. Sloan.
11. Edward H.Ammidown. 28. Daniel Beach.
12. Chas. Minzesheimer. 29. Nathan J. Milliken. 1
13. David F. Porter. 30. Kincaid A. Hngbson. <
14. Silas D. Gifford. 31. Frank H. Wyckoff. I
15. A'pheus Potts. 32. Alfred P. Wright. t
16. Jacob YV. Hoysradt. 33. Janies H. Degraff. (
17. John Sanderson. 34. Robert N. Marvia. g
i
THE RIGHT RING. »
The name of American, which belongs to us
in our national capacity, must always exalt the
just pride of patriotism. Citizenship of the
Republic must be the panoply and safeguard £
of him who wears it. The American citizen, v
rich or poor, native or naturalized, white or
colored, must everywhere walk secure in his °
personal and civil rights. The Republic should t
never accept a lesser duty—it can never as
sume a nobler ono—than the protection of the n
humblest man who owes it loyalty—protection 11
at home and protection which shall follow him
abroad, into whatever land he may go upon a
lawful errand.— Blaine'9 Letter o/ Acceptance, c
OUB LEADEB S?SAKS. ®
Wo give the speech delivered by Jaihea G. o
Blaine, at the dinner last Wednesday evening, c:
id Uelmonico’s Hotel, as our leading editorial, h
It would be impossible for us to say anything tl
which could add to thia great speech : a:
It is a great reversal of positions, Mr. Presi- u
dent [addressing Mr. Evarts] that makes me
hear you ascribe leadership to me, for it has
been my duty and my pleasure in these long P
years to follow you : to learn from you wisdom T
in public affairs, and to join with my country
men in ascribing to you not merely the great
merit of leadership in the noblest of professions, s
but to yield our admiration for the singular bl
success which has given to you the opportunity j n
to lead in the three most important cases over
pleaded by a member of tho American bar. 03
First, in resisting your own party in what you tb
regarded the impolicy, if not the madness, of ot
impeaching a President. Second, in maintain- H
ing before the greatest international tribunal “
that has assembled in modern times, the rights
of your country and obtaining redress for
wrongs to her that grew out of the civil war ; ca
and third, perhaps averting another sivil war
by pleading before an Electoral Commission for —
— peaceful settlement of tho angriest political If
controversy that ever arose between parties in Bl
tlie United States.
I now turn from yonr President to thanls you, 8,1
merchants, professional men, leaders in- the h»
great and complex society ot New York—to i M
thank you for receiving me, not merely at this
festal board, but in that far more impressive re- 1311
ception which the close of this rainy day wit- ex
nessed in your broad and beautiful avenue. I
could not, I am sure, by auy possible stretch of
vanity, take this large and generous demenstra- a
tion to myself. It is given to me only as for the ox
time a representative of the principles which n>
you and I hold in common, touching those great t
interests which underlie, as we believe, the
prosperity of the Nation. And it is fitting that “
the commercial metropolis ot the continent n<
should lead; it is fitting that tho financial v ,
centre ot the continent should lead; it
is fitting that the great city—second only
in the world should give expression, to hi
the continent, of its views and tte judgment e ,
on the important questions to be decided on T ,
Tuesday next by the American people. i
And I venture—not that I know it so well as
jou, but that lam spokesman for the present — q
I venture to remind you, men of New Y’ork, ~
with your wealth and your past influence and “
magnificent prestige, that seventy per cent, of B
the entire property of this city has been ac- af
quired since Abraham Lincoln was inaugurated
on the 4th of March, 1861. I should not men
tion here a fact ot percentage and of statistics •
if it did not carry with it an argument and a |
moral. The common apprehension in regard
to New York is that it is simply a great com- tl
mercial city—so great that its exports and ini- o i
ports represent largely the major part of all ..
that is exported from or imported into the Uni
ted States. That we all know. But we are a
often prone to forgot that Now York is the larg- c:
est manufacturing city in tho world, with per- 0
haps a single exception; that of the six thousand „
millions of manufactures annually produced in '
the United States, this great Empire State fur- J
nishea oufi-fltth— $1,200,000,000, of which this p
great Empire City produces $500,000,000. And
irom these facts conies that great sympathy, ,
that great identity of interest, which has Fe- d
moved previously existing conflicts between t<
what have been known as tho manufacturing
and the commercial interests, and has taught °
us that there can be no true prosperity in the a
country unless the three great interests com- t:
prehended under agriculture, manufactures g
and commerce are acting in harmony, the one
with the other, and joining together for a com- a
mon end and for the common good.
It is usually thought that a change of govern
ment means but little; that wo come together
with our votes on a given day and count them
as the sun goes down and one party goes out
and another comes in. But, gentlemen, it is
worth while to remember that tho United
States is proceeding to-day upon a given basis t
of public policy—l might say, upon a given se
ties of public policies. We have a great finan- a
cial system; wo have a great currency system; I
we have an important National credit; we have 0
a levying of duties, as has been so well do
scribed by your distinguished President of the 1
evening, so adjusted that the industries of the c
country are fostered and encouraged thereby; j
we have three important constitutional amend- .
ments growing out of the war upon which at 1
this hour, and in the hours and the days aud I
tho weeks and the years to follow, great issues f
hang in this country. Are we, if we should be .
invited to step down and out, and our oppo- ‘
nents to step up and in. Are we to understand i
that these policies are to be reversed ? Then if t
we are to understand that they are to be re- t
versed we should one and all prepare|for a great
disaster. For a single illustration, let me recall *
to your mind that the repeal ot ten lines in the i
National -Banking Act would restore to vitality ,
and to vigor the old State Bank system, from :
which we had happily escaped, as we thought, 1
tor all the remainder of our lives. If these poli- 1
cies are to be reversed, you will, have to recast ;
your accounts and review your ledgers, and
prepare for a new, and, I may say, a dangerous 1
’ departure, and if these policies are not to be re- 1
versed, they will certainly be bettor maintained t
by the great party which originated them and ,
has thus far sustained them with vigor and suc
cess. ‘
As I have already said, we speak of New York ’
as the great exporting and importing city, and ;
: from that, perhaps, we often give an exagger
ated importance, relatively speaking, to our
foreign trade, because tins magnificent me
. tropolis never would have attained its grandeur '
and its wealth upon the foreign trade alone.
We should never forget, important as that trade
. is, representing the enormous sum of $1,500,-
000,000 annually, that it sinks into insignificance
’ and is dwarfed out of sight when we think of
those vast domestic exchanges of which New
; York is the admitted centre, and which annu
i ally exceed twenty-five thousand millions of
dollars. Our foreign trade naturally brings to
our consideration the foreign relations of this
; country, so well described by my distinguished
1 friend as always simple and sincere. It is tho
safeguard of republics that they are not adapted
5 to war—l mean aggressive war; and it is the safe
■ guard of this republic that in a defensive war
- we can defy the world. This nation to-day is
in profound peace with the world. But, in my
judgment, it lias before it a great duty which
" will not only make that profound peace perma
nent, but shall set such an example as will ab
a solutely abolish war on this continent, and by a
great example and a lofty moral precedent shall
ultimately abolish it in other continents.
’ I am justified in saying that every one of the
seventeen independent powers of North and
South America is not onlv willimr but ready, is
NEW YORK DISPATCH, NOVEMBER 2, 1884.
not only ready but eager to enter into a solemn
compact in a congress that may bo called in the
name ot peace, to agree that if, unhappily, dif
ferences shall arise—as differences will arise—
between men and nations, they shall be settled
upon tbe peaceful and Christian basis of arbi
tration. And, as I have often said before, I am
glad to repeal in this great centre ot civiliza
tion and power, that in my judgment no na
tional spectacle, no international spectacle, no
continental spectacle could be more grand than
that the republics ot the western world should
meet together and solemnly agree that neither
the soil of North nor that ot South America
shall be hereafter stained by brothers’ blood.
The Itepublican party, gentlemen, cannot be
said to be on trial. Tobe “on trial” implies
something to be tried for. The Republican par
ty in its twenty-three years of rulership has
advanced the interests of this country far be
yond that of any of its predecessors in power.
It has elevated the standard of America. It has
increased its wealth in a ratio never before re
alized, and I may add, never before dreamed of.
Statistics I know are dry, and I have dwelt so
much upon them in the last six weeks that they
might ba supposed to be especially dry to me.
And yet I never can forget the eloquence of the
figures which tell us that tho wealth of this
great Empire State, when the Republican party
took the reins of Government, was estimated at
$1,800,000,000, and that twenty years afterward,
under the influence of an industrial aud finan
cial system for which that party is proudly re
sponsible—under the influence of that indus
trial and financial system, the same tests which
gave you $1,800,000,000 of property in 1860, gave
you $6,300,000,000 in 1880.
There has never been, in all the history of
financial progress, there has never been in all
tbe history of tho world any parallel to this.
And I am sure gentlemen, that the Republican
party is not arrogant nor over-confident when
it claims to itself the credit of organizing and
maintaining the industrial system which gave to
you and your associates in enterprise tlie equal
and just laws which enabled you to make this
marvelous progress.
As I have said, that party is not on trial. If
it has made mistakes they have been merged
and forgotten in the greater success which has
corrected them. If it has had internal differ
ences they are laickaside. If ithas had factional
strife I am sure that has ceased; and I am
equally sure that, looking to the history ot the
past and looking to that great future which we
are justified in prophesying, this imperial State
cannot afford to reverse, and, therefore will not
reverse these great policies upon which it has
grown, and advanced from glory to glory. I
thank you, gentlemen; I thank that larger num
ber with whom I have already had the pleasure
of exchanging greetings to-day; I thank the
ministers, the merchants, the professional men,
the mechanics, the lawyers, the laboring men,
of New York, for a cordial reception, an over
generous welcome, which in all the mutations of
my future life, will be to me among the proudest
and most precious ot my memories.
♦
MR. GBACE MUST BE BEATEN.
The country is now in the throes of one of the
most fierce political struggles that has occurred
for many years. On Tuesday next the question
will be settled, and though Mr. Cleveland will
be relegated to the realms of obscurity, it will
only bo serving him right and justly chastising
his leaders who so impudently forced him upon
the public.
The [local political contest has assumed the
most lively proportions, and each hour it grows
more and more interesting.
The Republicans, after a shameful delay,
have at last placed a candidate for Mayor in the
field, who is a gentleman of unexceptionable
character.
The County Democracy and Citizens, a hun
gry gang they are, too, have renominated a
who, it is asserted, is not a citizen of this
country, When Mr. Grace was Mayor of this
city, the only thing that Wa£ remarkable during
his term was the fact that he proved himself
the worst political ingrate that ever held office,
and a very selfish politician. The condition
upon which Mr. Grace received the endorse
ment of the County Democracy was upon the
premise, if elected, of reappointing Hubert O
Thompson Commissioner of Public Works. That
fact alone should defeat Mr. Grace, for if ever
a public was outraged and imposed upon they
have been since this man Thompson has been
in office. Though two Senate Committees have
examined this hotbed of corruption, known as ’
the Department of Publie Works, the lavish use ;
of money and other methods have so succeeded i
that justice has been thwarted and taxpayers
bled to almost the verge cf poverty.
The question with'good citizens will be, Which
candidate is the stronger against Wm. R. Grace ]
—is it Frederick 8. Gibbs er Hugh J. Gran'S? i
If either of these gentlemen is elected he wisl
not reappoint Hubert O. Thompson Commis
sioner. Frederick 8. Gibbs is a gentleman who
Las given great satisfaction as a State Senator,
lie is well acquainted with city affairs, he is a
man of spotless character, and would make an
excellent mayor.
Mr. Hugh J. Grant, Tammamy’s candidate, is
a young man of intelligence and firmness. He
exhibited the metal that he- possesses by the
manly stand he took against delivering up the
streets of New York to the grasping monopolists.
“He is too young,” some people say. We can
not see it in that light. He is upward of thirty
years of age, and ho has a large knowledge of
city affairs. He is as old as Seth B. Low, who 1
has made one of the best mayors Brooklyn has 1
ever had. It Mr. Grant is elected Hubert O. \
Thompson will go.
It Republicans find on next Tuesday that Mr.
Grant has a better chance of election than Mr. | ‘
Gibbs they should give him their votes. William I '
R. Grace must be beaten and Hubert O. Thomp
son turned out.
THE GRAND PARADE.
The Republican parade of Friday night was
the grandest affair of tho kind ever seen in this '
city—a city noted for its great parades. In the
line of march were some sixty thousand voters,
and tho streets through which they passed were
crowded with men and women, who vociferously
cheered the men as they marched along.
When tho reviewing stand was reached, where
Jambs G. Blaine stood, the enthusiasm was
without bound*. Most of the houses on Fifth
and Madison avenues were illuminated aud
decorated. New York city paid glorious honor
to the representative of American statesmanship,
of protection to American citizens at homo and
abroad, and of Protection to American Indus
tries. New York city will astonish the United
States on Tuesday. The merchants, tlie traders,
and the workmen, are with Blaine and Logan.
clitorinl
Damned to Everlasting Infamy. —ln
the present campaign no man has done such
disreputable work as the Rev. Henry Ward
Beecher. While deprecating attacks upon the
character of Mr. Grover Cleveland, he has hesi
tated at nothing which would tend to cast dis
credit and dishonor on Mr. James G. Blaine.
He outdid himself, however, w[ien he said that
if every man in the State of New York who had
broken tho Seventh Commandment should vote
tor Cleveland, he would have a majority of two
hundred thousand. Did Mr. Beecher consider
fully the meaning of his words ? In ihis State
there are about one million voters. According
to Mr. Beecher, then, there are six hundred
thousand men who are adulterers. The lewd
women must also be in somewhat the same
.proportion. Were not Mr. Beecher’s assertions
infamous in their slander of the manhood and
womanhood of this great State ? We do not be
lieve there is on the face of the globe another
clergyman who would have dared to utter
words so detestably vile as those which passed
the lips ot the Rev. Henry Ward Beecher. By
their utterapce he has secured the contempt
and scorn of every pure American man and
woman. He has damned himself to everlast
ing infamy.
The Whole Thing in a Nut-Shell. —
The Aldermanic Committee on Railroads have
for the past few days been hearing arguments
for and against the granting of a franchise to
the Broadway Surface Railroad to construct
and operate a railroad on Broadway. The
whole argument in a nut-shell about this fran
■ chise matter is contained in tho following re
' marks by General Clarence A. Seward, on
1 Thursday last. He said :
, "Broadway is the only free thoroughfare which
now exists in the city. There was but thirty-five
feet of width on Broadway in front of his client’s
' premises, and when railroad tracks were put down
' there would not be room enough to allow of tho
3 proper passage of vehicles for business purposes.
j ■■ It is the only street in which the city can display
1 its feelings on public occasions.
" The life of this city is its commerce. Human
ity without occupation finds no existence. If you
~ destroy the commerce of this city you take away
V the capacity for existence of a majority of its in
-1 habitants.
" Every cabman and every truckman in tho city
0 look upon Broadway as their vested right, and they
1 go into it. as do many others, to see the paUOl’tima
s ot human life which is there to be seen.”
Give Him Youb Vote.—Col. Truman
A. Merriman, the Republican-Democratic nomi
nee for Congress in the Eleventh District,
should, and undoubtedly will, receive the vote
ot every honest citizen in the district. Col.
Merriman is a journalist connected with the
Nun, aud for the past three years has held the
distinguished honor of President of the Press
Club. When the war broke out Col. Merriman
joined the Federal forces from this State, and
participated in all the principal battles until tho
close of the war. In the battle of the Wilder
ness he was severely wounded in the arm, and
carries to-day the mark ot the wound. When
tho war closed he was breveted lieutenant-col
onel, and immediately upon being mustered out
he began the study of law, which he subse
quently renounced for journalism. In politics,
he is an out and out Protectionist; in journal
ism he is an honor to the profession; as a friend he
is the personification of honesty and in the con
vivial gatherings, where his presence is always
looked for, he is at his best. In voting tor the
Colonel you honor yourself, honor a soldier
whose* blood flowed for his country, honor a
journalist and a man in every way worthy of
your suffrages.
The One Alternative.—An Irish lady
called on one of the assessors in the City Hall
the other day to talk with him regarding her
taxes. .She had heretofore, by keeping a flock
oi geese and pasturing them upon the public
commons bn tho outskirts of the city, been able
to clear from the sale of their eggs and feathers ‘
money enough in the course of a year to pay
her taxes, The enforcement of the goose
ordinance would compel her to sell the geese.
“ An’ now, Mr. Assessor,” said she, “ phat is
it lamto do ? Ye’ve taken away me geese an’
I can’t pay me taxes. It’s a sorry fix I’m in, so
it is. I’ll tell ye, sorr, phwat I’ll do. You take
the geese an’ I kape the taxes, or I’ll kape the
geese an’ you take the taxes. Tho bargain is
fair, so it is. Is it agreed ye are ?”
Should be Elected.—Among the gen
tlemen nominated for a seat on the bench of the
Court of Common Pleas is Mr. Henry E. How
land. He is a lawyer of the highest standing,
and holds the respect of every member of the
bar. His personal character is above criticism.
Should he be elected, which we sincerely trust
he will be, Mr. Howland will do honor to the
bench, by hie learning, his judicial bearing and
his thorough uprightness.
Republicans ! Look well to your bal
lots ! See that tho names of the Electors on the
Electoral Ticket are the same as those printed
in to-day a Dispatch. See that no man who is
entitled to vote neglects that first duty of an
American citizen. See, also, that no man not
entitled to vote casts a ballot. Keep the ballot
box pure and the Republican party is sure to
win.
F7>r Coroner.—Without saying aught
against the other candidates who are running
for coroner we can commend Dr. Michael J. B.
Messemer as one fully equipped for the duties
of tho office. He is a doctor of excellent reputa
tion, a linguist of exceptional accomplishments,
a man of the most genial characteristics, and an
official who knows not how to do wrong.
Jacob A. Cantob is the Tammany can
didate for Assembly in the Twenty-third Dis
trict. He is a young lawyer of excellent charac
ter, and a man of extensive general intelli
gence. Owing to tho dissensions in the Repub
lican ranks, Mr. Cantor has a very fair chance
of election.
In “Something to Read” there are
two new stones of absorbing interest begun in
the December number. They are entitled
“ That House of Mystery ” and “ The Love and
the Marriage.” This magazine is large, well
printed and diversified in contents. It retails
at twenty-five cents.
Two of a Kind.—The Rochester
Post-Express, in a recent issue, published a
paragraph, the significance of which is only too
readily understood. It is as follows :
H. W. B.—**l am a good man, Emma Monlton/*
G. C.—“l am a good man, Mrs. B&ocher.”
Ihese are Raphael's cherubs.
ALL WILL NOT BE LOST.
Remember, oi Democrat—better—
Remember, Republican, too.
That the Fourth of the coming November
May bring great grief to you.
For a little while to one of you,
Tbe sky will have seemed to fall,.
And you will dine on can boiled crow.
And drink unsavory gall.
But out of the wreck and ruin
Will Sozodont still survive,
And may never the day of its defeat.
For tbe sake of the world arrive.
Reject the offer by a dealer of any article
claimed to possess properties identical with or
similar to teeth-saving Sozodont. Only pur
chase the real Simon Pure, which defies both
imitation, and competition. Nothing can vie
with it in efficacy, as a donor of dental health
and beauty, notwithstanding any representation
to the contrary. It causes tho teeth to gleam like
burnished ivory, contains no hurtful ingredient,
aud has a most grateful flavor and smell.
A Promise.
Very T>'in Logic for the Election of Cleve
lund.
(From the St. Louts (flobe-Pemoerat.)
The Charleston, 8. C., Aeirs and Courier is an
accepted authority among the Bourbons of the
South. It has kept itself consistent with all
their views and methods, and has been their
outspoken organ in the hot-bed of secession
from the days of Fort Sumter down. The neces
sity of trying to allay the alarm felt at the North
over the attitude of a Solid South has led the
News and. Courier to say the following on that
subject:
"Senator Butler said, in Charleston, on Wednes
day, that the election of Governor Cleveland as
President will tend to dissolve tho Solid South, be
cause it will reassure the white people against the
possibility of the restoration of negro rule and al
low them to divide on public questions as in other
parts of the country. This is true. The white peo
ple are forced, by their natural and proper appre
hension of a return of Radical rule, to stand solidly
together. They have no choice of political parties.
Safety Is to be found with the Democratic party
alone. So the color line is drawn, and solidity be
gets solidity. Tho election of a Democratic Presi
dent will change all that. There will be morecot.
ored Democrats, and, probably, more white liepub.
Hoans, Prohibitionists and tho like.’’
Thjs is a singularly lame excuse to present
for such a grave danger. Are we to believe the
Southern Bourbons are calmly contemplating s
reversal of the policy they have for years vehe
mently insisted on carrying out, and urging its
continuance for a little while longer that they
may end it forever ? It really says: “Keep the
South solid as the only way to dissolve it The
very next words are that the consummation of
this policy “ will reassure the white people
against the possibility of tho restoration of ne- !
gro rule,.and allow them to divide,” etc. Yet |
when they “ divide” they throw down the bar- !
riers against that “ restoration ” which it is ex- i
pressly stated the white people will be reassured !
against! This is a hopeless tangle of logic, !
from whose labyrinth there is no escape by a co
herent proposition. What may have been meant
is that Cleveland’s election' would place the.
Democracy so firmly in power that it would no
longer count murder and bulldozing and fraud
belore, and at and after the election as a neces
sary part of Southern politics.
This is a specious plea, and should deceive
no one at the North, as it will mislead uo one at
the South. If Bourbon methods are to be dis
pensed with after Cleveland’s election, it is only
because another formula is to be substituted.
The Democracy means to perpetuate its power,
if it ever gets” it, aud the South will bo more
solid than ever. Give them the Presidency,
aud they will add all other things to it. It will be
another quarter century before they can be dis
lodged, so well will they lay their foundations.
The danger is not for one Presidential term,
but for many. Behind Clevelend—irrepressibly
ignorant and weakly incompetent—stands the
ominous spectre of Bourbonism, implacable in
its resentments and unyielding in its desires,
waiting to turn back the hands on the dial of
progress to where they stood at Appomattox.
The situation is ono for serious consideration,
not to say grave alarm, by every man who
swung a sabre or pulled a trigger in behalf of
the Union. The shades of that illustrious army
of 600,000 patriots who enriched the soil of the
South with their blood for the quickening of it
into a new life must be waiting anxiously for
! the decision of the ballots. To their immortal
’ vision wisdom shows but one way from which
i good can come, and that is in casting the votes
of 1884 rn the same direction as their own bullets
■ of twenty-years ago.
Let no one be deceived by filmy promises.
The South has purpose and tenacity. It has
1 brooded over what it called its wrongs till they
' are magnified into grievances, and these it has
devoted itself to redressing. Bourbonism has
, not changed since ante-bellum days. What it
j held as principles then it still retains. What
v was meant to no fixed by the war legislation
I was not at all fullv accomplished, qi much was
left so that it may yet be undone. Give Bour
'bonism control of 'the Government as absolute
ly as it aims to control, as completely as it has
been held by the Republican party, and we
shall run great risks. It might not do all the
things yet possible to be done. It might not
pay the Confederate debt, or the debt of States
contracted when in rebellion, pension tho rebel
soldiers, reimburse the owners of slaves, repeal
the constitutional amendments, wipe out the
provisions of reconstruction, and relegate the
negro to the place ho held when Buchanan
cowered in the White House before the coming
storm. It may not have a purpose for all of
these, but it lias a purpose for some, or the
Solid South has no meaning. It matters not
that they are neither lawful nor permissible
without taking backward steps—matters can
not be brought to a point where the Solid South
shall b» voluntarily dissolved until the pur
pose for .which it was made solid shall be ac
complished by the fruition of these designs.
STewlTork for Blaine.
The Majority Must be Made Larger than
the Most Sanguine Hope for.
(From the Utica Herald.)
Tho forecast of the Presidential election may
now bo made. The omens are full of promise
tor the Republican cause. The triumphant elec
tion of Blaine and Logan is assured, provided
only that the same efforts which have been so
well begun are continued until the polls close.
This journal has repeatedly shown that the Re
publican national candidates cannot be beaten.
Our confidence continues unshaken that outside
of New York, Blaine Jand Logan will secure a
majority in the Electoral College. The thirty
six electoral votes of New York are to be added
to that sure majority.
Indiana cannot properly any longer be styled
a doubtful State. The time when New York
could be won for Cleveland has never yet ap
peared. The same rising tide which has ren
dered the Empire State a clear factor in the Re
publican column, will also carry Connecticut
and New Jersey with it.
All that is necessary is to keep the good work
up to its present degree of efficiency to make
the majority in New York large beyond the
hopes of tho most sanguine. The Democrats
never had any faith in success in their own
strength. They trusted to the Independents, to
the Stalwarts and to the Prohibitionists. ’The
Independents have faded into dim air; their
vote will be counted among the scattering. The
Stalwarts have rallied to the support of the
National ticket with splendid spirit and fidelity.
Republicans do not mean to let tho Democrats
use the name of Prohibition to dragoon them
into voting to bring in the Solid South and the
Free-traders to the control of tho Government.
The proposed combinations have all broken
down. The Democrats will secure very low re
cruits under any guise. The thing is the old
Democratic party masquerading in fresh cos
tume, and tho monster underneath cannot bo
concealed.
From all parts of the Commonwealth the
messages are those of good cheer and abun
dant confidence. Tho Republican canvass has
never before been so auspicious at this date in
any Presidential year except 1860 and 1872, in
this State. Both in the rural districts and iu
the chief cities the promises ot success are
ringing with strength tmd triumph. We do not
utter a syllable to excuse the neglect of a single
vote which can be secured. Every Republican
will need to put forth his last effort and to bring
to the polls the last possible ballot which hon
estly belongs to tho party and its candidates.
On that condition Now York will load tho Re
publican phalanx, and will insure Republican
triumph and prevent the hazards of a contested
election.
The careful comparison of all sources of in
formation justifies the estimate that in all the
counties above Harlem Bridge the Republican
majorities next Tuesday will not fall below 60,-
000, and may reach 100,000. The metropolitan
district can not give beyond 50,000 for Cleve
land by any chance, and will probably give not
over 25,000. The Republicans cannot fail to
carry the State therefore, even if the total ma
jority may fall to 10,000. It is much more likely
that their majority will reach 50,000, or even ex
ceed it. Garfield’s majority in the State was
21,033. That of Blaine and Logau will quite
certainly run above .those figures, and may
double them.
New York is Republican to-day. There are
elements which have been surrounded with
mystery. Careful sifting of all the evidence
strips the mystery from them, and exposes the
weakness of the Demooratio boasts. A week re
mains. “Push things ” now, and let tha triumph
bo worthy of tho cause, of the Commonwealth,
and of the vast interests at stake.
Political Bunco Steerers.
The Record of the Democratic Party on (he I
Protection of American Industries.
(From the Philadelphia North-American.)
Some swindles cannot be played twice on th®
same victim. We think the old bunco game of
“ Polk, Dallas and the tariff of 42” is one of tho
swindles that cannot, be imposed twice on tho
American people. But during these last days of
the canvass tho Democracy seems to be resort
ing to that old swindle. They aro not for Free
Trade—oh, no ! They never were a Free-Trade
party. Of course not. But thousands very
well remember when the Democratic slogan was
“ Free Trade and Sailors’ Rights.”
It does not matter a fig what tho Democrats
now declare they are for. Every man who reads
history knows what they have always done when
in power. Andrew Jackson was elected as a
Protective Tariff man. The sliding scale, hori
zontal reduction tariff was the prominent meas
ure of his term. Under its ruinous discrimina
tions against American industry the entire busi
ness of the country collapsed in 1837. The peo- |
pie elected Harrison in 1840, and a Whig Con- ■
gross enacted the tariff in 1842. Business revived ■
and the country began to prosper under that
tariff.
When tho election ot 1844 approached, the
tariff was seen to be the issue. Mr. Polk wrote
a letter to Judge Kano, of this city, in which ho
used almost the exact language employed in
the Democrat platform of 1884, and it is reason
ably conjectured that that letter furnished the
toxt for the tariff plank of that platform. It was
at the time interpreted by Free-traders for Free
Trade, and by Pennsylvania Democrats for Pro
tection—exactly as tlio Democratic platform is
interpreted. Hence, the bunco swindling cry :
“ Polk, Dallas and tho Tariff ot 1842 I’’
But in his inaugural address this juggler
openly declared himself “ in favor of a tariff for
revenue merely, but so adjusted as to afford hi
eidental protection to home industry.” The j
kind of tariff meant was fully shown in the i
tariff of 1846, which plunged tho country into a !
business crisis from which it did not fully re- I
cover until twenty years later. James K. Polk i
was made President by his juggling letter to .
Judge Kane.
The Democrats got possession ot tho House
in 1875 and elected a virulent Free Trader I
Speaker. Upon his death Mr. Randall was I
elected Speaker. Mr. Randall is said to be a |
Protectionist Democrat, but what that is we do I
not pretend to know. One ot his first acts as
Speaker was to make Fernando Wood, a bank
rupt politician and a New York Free Trader,
Chairman of tho committee on Ways and Means.
The first act of this chairman was to prepare a
tariff reduction bill, and we are free to say that
no Democratic paper dares to publish a resume
of that bill to-day. It was modelled on the tariff ;
of 1846 and 1857, but was still more destructive
in its sweeping changes. It failed, but the
Democrats were not to blame for that.
In 1882 the Democrats got control of the
House once more, and elected an ultra Free
trade Speaker. He made William M. Morrisou
Chairman of the Committee on Ways and Means
—another Free-trader, Mr, Morrison set at once
at work to frame a tariff bill, of which the chief
feature was horizontal reduction. We all re
member how that blit fared—One hundred and
fifty Democrats out of one hundred and ninety
one voting for it and forty-one against it. The
Republicans, save four, voted against the Mor
rison bill and defeated it, we trust forever.
This is all of history so far as the Democrats
have made any on the tariff. How do you like
jit? .
Blaine and Chicago.
j The Grand Demonstration for the Leader
of Leaders.
(Fromlhe Chicago Inter-Ocean.)
There have been great processions, magnifi
cent displays, grand political demonstrations
in Chicago by the score aud by the hundred,
but there has never been iu all the years of the
past such a display, such a procession, or such
a demonstration as was that of Saturday night.
The thousands of men who marched, the tens
of thousands who cheered them, the hundred
thousand who crowded the streets to get |a
glimpse of Blaine, all endeavored to voice
Chicago’s welcome to the Republican lead er.
There never has been in any Chicago demon
stration such unanimity of feeling, such en
thusiasm in demonstrativeness, as there was on
Saturday night. And from beginning to end it
was Blaine, Blaine, Blaine.
The demonstration was conceived and organ
ized that the people of Chicago might testify
their appreciation of the character ot the Re
publican candidate for President, aud their de
votion to the cause he represents. So far as
the masses were concerned, the tremendous
outpouring was a matter of impulse. So far as
those who participated in the parade were con
cerned, there were never more eager nor en
thusiastic volunteers. From the several divis
ions of the city, from the Board of Trade aud
other organizations, from the outside towns and
suburban districts, came companies, battalions
and brigades to swell tho disciplined army of
marchers to a force twenty thousand strong.
The demonstration was the more siguilicaut
because it was in the nature of a. popular up
rising. Mr. Blaine was in the city only a few
hours, but in that brief opportunity the people
of ’Chicago spoke volumes to him of apprecia
tion and earnestness, and underscored it all
with magnificent emphasis. There could have
been no more fitting termination to Mr. Blaine’s
Western tour than the domonstration of Satur
. dav nteht.
A Difference.
Solid South and Solid North*
(From the Indianapolis ITews.)
The'great body of Democrats in the North, almost
equal in number to the Republicans, have no vote
in the Electoral College. Though the Repuplican
party hue in Ohio only a plurality of 10,000, it will
cast the entire vote of the State for Mr. Blaine.—
Louisville Courier-Journal,
This is an eminently unfair utterance. It was
made in answer to a statement that the Repub
licans in the South had no vote in the Electoral
College. We do not believe in the “bloody
shirt’* any more than does our Louisville con
temporary, but it is simple imbecility that will
not admit that the Republican vote in the South
is not fairly counted. All the election ma
chinery is in the hands of the Democrats, and
no matter what the vote as cast amounts to the
count shows a Democratic majority; in short,
there is no such thing as a real election in the
South.
The Courier-Journal would make it appear
that such is the condition of things in the
North, when it and all the world knows that
Democrats have an equal chance with Repub
licans, Greenbackers and Prohibitionists here,
and the votes of all are honestly counted. To
say that the groat body of Democrats in Ohio
have no vote in the electoral college because
there were 10,000 more Republicans in the
State is to misuse words. It is to attack the
principle of majority rule. There was a free
election in Ohio, and an honest count. Under
it the Democrats succeeded in electing eleven
Congressmen. It is such a condition of affairs
that ought to prevail in the South, and some
day will prevail, for the present condition hurts
the South worse than it hurts any other portion
Of the country.
ami feo.
OUR NEIGHBOR'S DOG.
Passaic, Oct. 31,
Our neighbor baa a dog.
He is a fine fat dog, something of a cross between
a mule and a door mat.
He is just learning to sing now, but when he
grows older he will, to judge by present appear
ances, be able to discount a Gorman prima donna or
a dish pan factory.
At first the neighbor anchored him to the barn.
Our bedroom window is located within hearing
view of the barn, and when that dog began to sing
the " Happy Land of Canine,” it was really melo
dious but somewhat subdued. As it was outside of
boot-jack distance we could not applaud as we de
sired, but we made up for it in lamentations of a
profane nature.
Our neighbor evidently thought that the animal
was wasting his voice on the barn, and then he
moved the dog-house right up under our bedroom
window. That is, just around the corner out of
sight, so that not more than one in every twenty
brickuet will come within brickuet-shot of him.
The dog is evidently a native of the "Land of the
Midnight Bun,” for his concerts are generally be
gun at the noon of night.
He begins with a voluntary from " Howl Dog
Tray.” Then follow selections from "The Lamen
tations,” "Boaeus Quique,” "Fair, Fair Moon,”
"Only a Little Faded Flea,” "Scratch, Brother’s,
Scratch, Scratch the Hair,” "Jawbone is a Hard
Road to Scrabble,” and "Nearer My Pard to Thee.”
Then, for an encore, ho gives " Over the Fence the
Bricks Out,” and generally winds up with an origi
nal and soul-stirring melange entitled " Hold the
Fort the Bedroom’s Coming.” This invariably
brings down the house, or everything that’s left in
it.
In the morning ho sits on top of a mountain of
bric-a-brac and looks so proud that the other dogs
of the neighborhood look through the fence with
envy, and then canter off with their tails at half
mast.
He is somewhat of a kleptomaniac, too. He keeps
the attention of our family constantly engaged, and
up to date he has hauled through a tunnel he has
built in the fence four shirts (do not start, reader,
we only own a small minority of them) a scrubbing
brush, a washpan, coal scuttle, a sealskin sacque
that was airing on the line, two pails and other nec
essaries of life. He worried at the back stoop and
the cistern, but he probably arrived at the conclu
sion that they wouldn’t fit in the tunnel, and he
has now turned his attention to the clothespoles.
He is not a pretty dog, but what he lacks in beau
ty he makes up in breadth of voice.
"Do not your neighbors have to suffer as much as i
you do ?” asks the reader.
Yes, probably; but then they can kill him if he '
annoys them without fear of being yanked into the
lock-up.
But we think wa will get the bulge on him to
night. He is very fond of old boots, and as Sunday
night is bis favorite for holding concerts, we have
placed one of our Summer stockings inside of a boot
and wa think if he tackles it his name is R. I. P.
THE PASSAIC BOY.
One reason for our moving here was that we
might secure peace and quietude. We find that
we have drawn to a flush we can’t fill.
The Passaic boy is of Passaic, Passaicky, and has
more noise in him to the square inch than any other
boy this side of the Choctaw nation.
Around election times he appears to be at bis best.
He is independent in politics and parades every
night.whether it boa Democratic night, ora Repub
lican night, or a Plumed Knight.
His principal object of fortune is a tin-pan with
fish-horn accompaniment. Armed with these in
struments and a fence picket he parades the street
in groups.
He yells for all the candidates in succession, and '
when he forgets their names he supplies the de
ficiency of memory by yelling for himself.
He has stolen all the barrels in town and has
ravished the picket-fences to such an extent that
they look like a vacation fine-tooth comb.
He carries off everything that he can conveniently
carry, and when it is too heavy he sends for re
inforcements.
He generally parades through the streets flagged
with boards, and he hammers on these till the town
howls. Several graves in the churchyard have been
found empty. The quondam inhabitants have
moved away in disgust.
His pants are torn away up the surbase, where
exasperated citizens have boosted him over the
garden wall, but he is never disheartened and makes
hiß calls as regularly as the milkman or tax collector.
If the Passaic boy ever gets into heaven new
extra-heavy harps will have to be ordered or the
musicians will have to crawl over the walls to enjoy
the concerts.
RULES FOR ELECTION DAY.
1. Don’t vote more than once at each polling
place.
2. Don’t take a candidate's note, payable at sight.
If he isn't elected, your sight will have to be of
fourteen telescopic power, or you’ll never have a
chance to swear that it is due.
3. Stay up all night before election. The women
folks will like it.
4. Ab all the liquor saloons are compelled by law
to be closed, no imaginations are necessary regard,
ing drinking.
5. Have a shoe-horn, boothjack and button-hook,
ready for next morning’s use. Staying out all night
shrinks hats.
6. If a man refuses to vote your ticket, mash his
over the eyes—if he is smaller than you. If he is
larger wait until next election.
7. Carefully road papers of both proclivities the
next morning, and you will be astonished to see
that both Blaine and Cleveland have been elected
by large majorities.
8. No matter who is elected, shout with the big
gest crowd.
9. Hurry up and prepare your application for ap
pointment to an office. This must be done right
away, as there is but two postmasterships left, and
they are in smallpox districts where nobody re
sides.
10. Be sure to arrive at the polls early, and stay
all day. They can t get along without you, and
your vote may decide the matter in all the States of
the Union.
11. It would be well to begin to get acquainted
with the members of your family so that you may
be on speaking acquaintance with them after elec
tion. This has been a long, weary, and diverting
campaign.
12. If Cleveland is elected, and if you are too late
for an office, it would be well to secure passage for
yourself and family for the Sandwich Islands, It is
likely that there will be a riot as soon as the result
is known, for hungry people are not apt to make
much distinction as to where they trample in
search of food.
SMALL CHANGE.
I The World folks prove that the Trib-
! une reporters are all liars and vagabonds, and the
‘ Tribune people prove that the IForZd scribes are all
villains and falsifiers, and yet we have really seen
members of the two staffs borrowing cigarettes of
each other, and even drinking together and feeding
out of the same free lunch bowl. May be they are
only campaign lies, after all.
What is an Independent ? Why, an
Independent is one who holds off until election day,
and then listens to hear whose pocket has the most
jingle in it. Independents are men who vote from
principal, my boy, principal and interest.
An Association for the Advancement
of Women has been organized in Baltimore. They
held a congress on Wednesday. They all left in
about, half an hour, because the chairwomaa want
ed to ipa&e the first speech-
Some papers assert that Ouida te
young, fat, and plump, while others maintain that
she is old, lean, and scraggy. From a cursory
perusal of "Meths," "Strathmore,” "In Harem
ma," "Chandos,” "Wanda,” etc., we are led to
imagine that she has been buried about fourteen
years and needs disinfecting.
A million postal cards are printed
every twenty-four hours. We’ll have to have more
postmasters at this rate, or we’ll have to change our
place for getting our village gossip for the Naw
York papers.
General Wolseley has prescribed a
rum diet for the troops of the Nile expedition. All
he has to do now is to furnish transportation, and
our tramps will diminish like jam before the noon
day son.
“ Among those present ” is now in
style again as the ball season opens. When you see
a "society reporter” tearing his hair, don’t Imag
ine that he’s full; he’s only hunting for a sub
stitute.
Oscar Wilde has the bulge on the
rdst of his fellow-sufferers, now that he is married.
If he gets up in the night and happens to make a
mistake in the clothes, it doesn’t make any differ
ence.
The horrid newspapers, unable to say
anything against Belva’s character, now assert that
she wears big feet and false hair. Don't mind ’em,
Bel; don't give a single one of ’em an office.
If the campaign doesn’t terminate
PFotty soon, it ia said that there will be a water
famine in Now York, Such large quantities used in
whisky, you know.
Lieut. Greedy has joined the G. A.
R. He has been living on seal-skin sacques so long
that he may really and truly be looked upon as a
valuable member.
A fifty year old bride and a sixty
year old groom were recently married in New
Haven. Horrors ’ What can their parents be
thioking of?
Mr. Logan’s enemies insult him by
saying that he is no scholar. What about Clove
land? Why, he can’t, and never could, decline
"office.”
That was a big feed on Wednesday
night. We couldn’t partake of more than half the
dishes as we’d left our Choctaw dictionary at
home.
Mauk Twain has postponed his course
of lectures until after election. Probably thinks
the people have had a surfeit of lies for the present.
A U. S. soldier recently accidentally
upset a cigar store sign, and it frightened him into
convulsions. Thought he was on the plains.
Steinway, the piano man, has pur
chased a railroad. Wants to have a means of escape
when the concert season opens, we presume.
A New Yorker advertises for a man
to canvass for ga new table-sauce and a liniment.”
This is evidently a case of cause and cure.
We are to have several new French
plays this Winter. We thought all the disorderly
houses had been effectually squelched.
A sad blight has fallen upon Decker
town, N. J. The only millinery establishment iu
town has been burned down.
Haven’t had a dynamite scare in near
ly a week. What's the matter ? All the dynamiters
running for Aiderman ?
Alt, those present at the banquet were
monopolists. They monopolized all the pie, and we
never got a smell.
It is yet time for Belva to withdraw.
Come now, Bel., step out, and give us a chance for
four years more.
To judge by the large number of bar
becues, the equine-ox appears to be stretching itself
out this year.
We are to have Italian Opera this
Winter. Baxter street will be wealthy before the
Spring opens.
There are several “Champion’s Rests"
in New York, Why don’t they give the public a
piece of it ?”
The only thing that both parties ap
pear to agree upon is reducing the surplus in- the
treasury,
. It is strange, but it is nevertheless
true, that coffins are sometimes grown from coughs.
The fiery old men are now getting:
square by fluttering around the "moths.”
“ Unrequited love” is the cause of
most suicides. Requited love comes next.
It would appear that Ben-jam-in’
would rather be tight than be President.
Butleb says that the Fall crop of eggs'
is somewhat bilious.
New Jersey dogs won’t eat “ straw
fiends.”
A good Old Hundred—Sir Moses.
A cross-suit —the chimney sweep.
A horse-race —the carpenter,
at Amusement
GOSSIP ON "THE SQUARE.”
Mb. John A, Stevens proposes entering the legit:—
mate, and will probably be seen as Richelieu at the
Third Avenue Theatre next Friday evening, for his
benefit. As John McCullough is in retirement.
Lawrence Barrett will be his only competitor. And
John is happy.
Ma. W. J. Scanlan is playing " Friend and Foe”’
and "The Irish Minstrel" in Canada, thus avoiding
the excitement of the Presidential campaign.
James A. Herne's company will appear at the
Mount Morris Theatre all the week in. "Hearts of
Oak.” An extra matinee election day.
“Off to Egypt; or, An Arab Abduction,” is the
title of the new musical comedy spectacle which i»
to be produced in Brooklyn on Monday, Nov. 10th.
The author is Mr. W. H. Fuller, and the music of
the new and original songs with which the play
abounds, is by Mr. Geo. F. Le June. The scenery
is entirely new. One of the features of the play will
be the introduction of eight acting donkeys (no®
from the London stage), with imported saddles ancV
trapping*.
Lawrence Barrett will give the theatregoers of
Minneapolis, Minn., a week of the legitimate, be
ginning to-morrow night with Hamlet, and closing
with Benedict, iu "Much Ado About Nothing.
"Francesca da Rimini ” will also bo given during
the week.
The Thompson Opera Company of forty people,
will open the new Grand Opera House, Plainfield.
N. J., Saturday evening, November Bth, and will be
seen in this city during the same month.
Minnie Palmer closed last night a successful'
engagement at the Boston Museum, her gross re
ceipts reaching nearly $14,000 for the two weeks.
To-morrow night " My Sweetheart” will be seen atf
the Brooklyn Theatre, where she will proceed to
sing and dance herself into the affections of th®
theatre-goers on the other side of the big bridge.
People's Theatre. — Mr. Bartley
Campbell is particularly elated over the fact that
his drama of “ The Galley Slave,” despite the many
performances it has had upon the local stage during
the past two seasons, still attracts large and cer-
I tainly delighted audiences. As presented at this
theatre during the past week, with the loading role
impersonated by Mr. Nelson Wheatcroft, one of the
most capable yet unpretentious of the many actors
who have come to us from England, and with the
rest of the cast in the keeping of Messrs. Eytinge,
Burns, Price, Harry .Simmonds, and the Misses Ellie
Wilton, Mary Miles, Lillian Vane, and Emma Sker
rett, the drama could not have a more acceptable
representation. The picturesque scenic setting of
the four acts, aud all the stage appointments, were
without fault.
To-morrow, and every evening during the week.
Mr. Elliott Barnes’s sensational melo-drama ot
"The Blue and the Gray; or, Ruth’s Devotion,
will be - seen. It will be presented with all the ela- ;
borate scenic surroundings which added so much to
its success when last performed at Niblo’s Garden.
The cast will include a number of notable players.
The usual matinees will be given on Wednesday
and Saturday.
Third Avenue Theatre.—Want of
space precludes any extended reference to Mr.
Joaquin Miller’s—if he did write it—play of " John
Logan.” We can only say that it did not meet
with any special indications of popular favor, al
though it was fairly presented, both in the acting
and its scenic attributes. »
This week Mr. John A. Stevens will occupy the
stage, appearing as Harold, in his own drama of
"The Unknown.” He will be supported by his
own company.
Manager McKee Rankin has made arrangements
with the Western Union Telegraph Company to run
a special wire on to the stage and have a special op
erator there to receive the election returns Tuesday
evening, when they will be announced from
_stage aysjy twenty Hdaidss HaUkstea o'clock- 1 ’”