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New York dispatch. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1863-1899, October 09, 1887, Image 6

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•• De mortals nil nlel bonum.” When
For me the end has come, and I am dead,
And little voluble, chattering daws of men
Peck at me curiously, let it then be said
By some one brave enough to speak the truth:
Here lies a great soul killed by cruel wrong,
Down all the balmy days of bis fresh youth
To his bleak, desolate noon, with sword and song,
And speech that rushed up hotly from the heart,
He wrought for liberty, till his own wound
(Bo had been stabbed), concealed with painful art
Though wasting years mastered him, and he
And sank there where you see him lying now,
With the word ‘•Failure" written on his brow.
But say that he succeeded. If he missed
World’s honors and world’s plaudits, and the
Of the world’s deft lackeys, still his lips were kissed
Daily by those high angels who assuage
The thirstings of the poets—for he was
Born unto singing—and a burden lay
Mighty on him, and he moaned because
Be could not rightly utter to this day
What God taught in the night. Sometimes, nath
Power fell upon him, and bright tongues of flame.
And blessings reached him from poor souls in
And benedictions from black pits of shame;
And little children’s love, and old men’s prayers;
And a Great Hand that led him unawares.
60 be died rich I And if his eyes were blurred
With thick films—silence 1 he is in hiR grave;
Greatly he suffered; greatly, too, he erred;
Yet broke his heart in trying to be brave.
Nor did he wait till Free fom had become
The popular shibboleth of courtiers’ lips;
But smote for her when God himself seemed dumb.
And all His arching skies were in eclipse.
He was weary, but he fought the fight,
And stood lor simple manhood, and was joyed
To see the august broadening of the light,
And new earths heaving heavenward from the
He loved his fellows, and their love was sweet—
Plant daisies at bis head and at bis feet.
•‘Did I ever tell you the yarn about my up
country adventure with an elephant? It was a
genuine rogue—a fellow evidently possessed of
the spirit and animus of the very devil himself,
and came within an ace of winding up my exist
“ You have never related the incident, ma or,
and lam sure it must be interesting. Will you
lavor us?”
Major Thurston was a retired army officer
who had served his country long and faithfully
abroad. For many years he bad commanded a
post in the interior of India, where the inroads
of climate coupled with hard duty had served
to break his iron constitution, rendering it in
cumbent upon the gallant soldier to ask for re
lief in retirement. Comfortably settled down
upon his modest estate in England, it had be
come the veteran’s chief pleasure to relate to
his admiring friends past scenes and adventures
through which he had passed and participated.
“ Help yourself to a weed while I reel the
story off. It will not take long, you know.”
I was sitting in front of my bungalow one
morning, just after guard-mount, trying to in
hale a mouthful of cool air, and wondering how
the hot day should be passed, when Fred Pons
boy, a young planter, rode up, Hinging himself
Irom the saddle with au unmistakable air of
vexation and annoyance.
Over a glass of brandy and soda, with a
sprinkling of ice—for wo had a machine to man
ufacture that luxury -I listened to his griev
You see I had some little reputation round
about the country as a hunter, was looked upon
as an authority in the light of some few suc
cesses I had met with, and generally when any
thing of a sporting natnre was going on was
always expected to participate.
Ponsboy, with a melancholy air, informed me
that for five successive nights hia estate had
been visited by an elephant—an old rogue, un
usually cunning, destructive and malicious. In
sheer wantonness the brute had torn down and
uprooted plants, destroyed fields of carefully
cultivated coffee and indigo, played havoc amid
the native quarters, frightening the coolies half
out of their senses. In fact the hands were de
moralized to such an extent that work had been
neglected to the serious detriment of my friend’s
property. In hie dilemma, Ponsboy had rid
den thirty miles to consult me and ask for co
operation in exterminating the rogue. It was a
question of either settling the fellow’s fate at
once or lacing dead ruin—no joke, I can tell you,
for a white man, in that infernally hot and not
over hospitable region.
It did not take me long to make my decision.
The better part of that day was spent in making
preparations for the excursion. My servant
overhauled a stock of choice rifles suited for
such game, and ere the gong sounded for tiffur
that evening, I was comfortably ensconced
within the hospitable, even luxurious walls of
Ponsboy’s bungalow.
That night the elephant paid his accustomed
visit along tbe outlying borders of the estate,
the native Sepoy superintendent riding up to
the quarters in hot haste to appraise Sahib
Ponsboy of tbe fact. But there was nothing to
be done then ; both daylight, caution and a wide
amount of vigilance were necessary to cope suc
cessfully with the singular intelligence of a
genuine rogue elephant.
The dawn of day found my friend mounted on
a wiry native pony, with one held in reserve for
myself, while two dark-skinned fellows, bearing
hampers well stocked with provisions and drink
ables, together with our rifles and ammunition,
were in attendance.
In less than an hour we drew up on the bor
ders of the jungle bounding Ponsboy’s estate.
There was the broken fence -with evidences o!
the rogue’s work abounding in every direction.
The forest, dark, silent, almost impassable
from the dense, rank growth of verdure, greeted
us in all its wondrous grandeur. But my host
knew the ground well, the ponies were well
trained and into the jungle we went, preceded
by two tawny, muscular hounds, the insepara
ble companions of my friend on many a perilous
trip and gunning excursion.
The jungle, but for narrow patches cut for the
purpose, was all but impassable, the interlaced
vines, thick growth of canes and underbrush,
rendering it all but impossible to penetrate into
its dark, sombre depths. Our progress was
Blow until a point was reached where we were
to separate, Ponsboy taking his stand in the
midst of a dense growth of jungle grass and
running vines, while I selected a spot by a
email, clear pond of water. The little glade
was singularly free from the usual debris of an
Indian forest, interspersed, however, with a va
riety of trees scattered at intervals oyer the
green sward.
The ponies had been secured in a shady nook,
while the natives, with the two bounds, plunged
into the vast solitude, making their way cau
tiously along through the coarse jungle grass
towering far above them. It was terribly hot
and oppressive, not a breath of air was stirring,
and the large pampers peeping from beneath the
huge leaves placed over them to keep the con
tents cool, appeared very inviting. I deter
mined to tap a bottle of beer, and, leaning my
rifle against the trunk of a neighboring tree,
walked down to the sheet of water bordered by
thousands of sweet-flowering shrubs.
At the very moment I was bending over the
basket, a singular noise greeted my ears. It
was between a shriek and a whistle, resembling
somewhat the sound of a trumpet, only sharper
and more treble in its character. I understood
full well the meaning of it all. I had experi
enced it before, and in an instant was standing
erect, with every muscle and nerve braced, all
my faculties on the qui vive, my eyes glancing
Bharply in every direction.
Crashing through the underwood and pushing
aside the heavy bending foliage, I caught a
glimpse of a long, cylindrical object swaying
from side to side, with two protruding yellowish
tusks extending tar in advance of a pair of flop
ping ears, and the next instant the round, mas
eive form of an enormous elephant emerged
from the jungle, charging straight across the
open glade, winding his terrible trumpet as he
dashed straight toward me.
The brute was coming at a tremendeous pace,
its little switch of a tail oscillating rapidly in
the air, and its trunk stretched horizontally in
my direction. I had but little time for reflec
tion, though for a moment I must confess I was
dazed a bit, bewildered by the suddenness ot
the attack. The small lynx eyes of tbe rogue
had noted his foe, and although the deceptive
shamble of the monster was but little less than
a walk, still it carries the quadruped over the
ground almost with the speed of a horse.
Fortunately for me there was a large tree
close by with low horizontal limbs which favored
a rapid ascent. Best assured, as soon as I re
covered my self-possession, I lost no time in
making for the retreat, and by the time I had
gained a point beyond the elephant’s reach, the
infuriated brute was beneath the branches, with
its prehensile proboscis extended to the full
length, the tip of the latter not over six inches
from the soles of my hunting boots.
Enraged at the escape of its prey the rogue,
uttering its shrill trumpet-like screech, flour
ished its proboscis high in the air, while its ears
flapped to and fro continually. Seizing the
branches within reach, it snapped them off
from the maim stem as it they had been tiny
twigs, In a short time the tree, which had been
furnished with low spreading limbs, was com
pletely stripped oi these to a hight oi nearly
twenty feet irom tho ground; while the space
underneath had become strewn with twigs,
leaves, and broken branches, crushed into a
litter under the broad, ponderous hoofs of the
mammoth as he kept moving incessantly over
them, Not content with stripping the tree of its
branches, the rogue seized hold of its trunk
lapping its own trunk as far as he could around
it and commenced tugging at it, as if he had
hopes of being able to drag it up by the roots.
Soon tiring of this he relaxed his hold, gazed
about him, caught sight of the hamper, and in a
trice the contents were spilled upon the ground.
Picking up a stout bottle of Allsop’s he sent the
missile straight toward my perch in the grand
old tree. A projecting limb chattered it to
atoms, but the contents flew over me in an
aggravating shower. Another and another fol
lowed in rapid succession, but placing a stout
limb between me and my implacable toe, I
suffered no damage from the unexpected attack.
Table-cloth, napkins, and cutlery were scattered
to the thirty-two points of the compass, while
the wicker hamper Ponsboy had had packed so
scut ac.il.Dg tiio air.
falling into tbe smooth waters oi the pond with
a doleful swish-
In the meanwhile I had not been idle, but
had halloed and shouted until my voice gave
out. It was about all I could do, under the cir
cumstances; for, though my rifle was in plain
sight, it might as well have been in Africa, for
all the help or use it was to mo.
As the hours rolled on my thirst increased,
aggravated, no doubt, by tbe sight of the
sparkling lake spread out in tantalizing beauty
and freshness be'ore my weary gaze. But
there was no help for it. The rogue had set
tled down for a regular siege of it, from which
I conld hope for no escape until Ponsboy and
his servants, by some means, contrived to get
rid of the monster.
It must have been near noon, possibly later,
when the baying of a hound fell upon my ear.
The winding of a horn, a distant hallo, and I
knew Ponsboy would soon be upon the scene.
I could not warn him of the peril he was run
ning into; my voice was powerless, while
weapons I had none, save a long, keen hunting
blade of the best steel.
With a yelp and a flourish, the hound broke
suddenly from cover, and was instantly
charged by tbe elephant, who screamed with
rage as he ambled over the uneven surface of
the glade. I caught a glimpse of Ponsboy fly
ing along on bis shaggy pony, and then the
jungle rang with shouts, followed by the ring
ing report of a rifle.
It was a welcome relief to me, half frantic rs
I was from thirst. In a trice I descended irom
my lofty perch, took a final, searching look
about the borders of the jungle, and could see
not even a leaf stirring, while the sudden hub
bub that had echoed through the vast solitude
bad died away.
I could hesitate no longer, but dropped to
the ground, reached the sloping shore of the
lake, and, extended at full length, drank my
fill of the clear, welcome water. Warm though
the draught was, it was, by long odds, the
sweetest tasting liquid I had ever experienced.
Befreshed, strengthened, with nerves stead
ied by renewed confidence, I walked to the
tree where the heavy rifle was leaning. At the
same instant the sharp, discordant trumpeting
of the rogue rang out its infernal warning.
Quick as thought I turned, rifle in hand,
while the elephant, in full swing, burst head
long from the thick, treacherous shades of the
jungle, tearing across the open space with the
speed of a whirlwind. To raise the rifle to my
shoulder and pull the trigger was the work of a
moment. Whether the shot took effect or not,
1 am unable to state; but that it did not seri
ously incommode the brute, I was painfully
Fortunately, the tree against which I had de
posited my rifle was close at hand, or I should
not now have the pleasure of relating to you
this experience of jungle life.
I think I must have gone up that tree with
the agffity of a squirrel, and there was no room
to spare, either. The tip of the rogue’s trunk
skimmed the tough sole of my hunting gaiters,
as I again slipped beyond his power. But the
brute was now thoroughly aroused; its entire
body appeared to writhe and tremble with rage
aud baffled fury. Lapping its long, clinging
proboscis about the tree, it applied its strength
in a mighty effort. The reluge I bad sought
bent, swayed, cracked Death the tremendous
power of the infuriated monster. An ominous
crack echoed in my ears. The fibre of the tree
was brittle, dry, and entirely unlike the first in
which 1 had so bravely gone through the siege.
A feeling of despair, of terror, at meeting with
such a death as awaited me at the feet of tbe
rogue, caused a cold sweat to break out all over
me. I felt the tree yielding, a succession oi
sharp, quick reports followed, and the strong
hold I had selected slowly toppled over, its
fall partially broken by the friendly outspread
ing branches of another denizen of the forest.
The elephant, from the violence of his exer
tions, had lost his balance, and as the tree came
crashing about his ears, fell over, rolling on bis
broad back, his short, stumpy legs sawing the
air convulsively as he strove to regain hia up
right position.
My fall was gradual, with sufficient impetus,
however, to send me rolling over and over with
considerable force, when once I reached the
How far I was hurled, or it what direction, I
could not tell. In fact, it did not matter, lor
every moment I expected to find myself writhing
in the fatal grasp of the brute’s trunk. Before
1 could recover myaelf or even gain my feet, the
earth beneath me suddenly gave way; there
was an effort on my part to grab at something,
but, ball-stunned, covered with dirt, stones and
rubbish of all descriptions, I presently awoke
to the unpleasant fact that I had fallen into a
pit, or trap, much in vogue by native hunt
ers for securing tigers and other largo game. It
must have been an old and deserted one, or the
weight used to crush the captive would have at
once closed all my eearthly troubles. Fortun
ately for me, in that respect, the trap was lack
ing tbe usual appendages.
Clearing the dust and dirt from my mouth
and eyes, I stood to peer about me, to form
some idea of what kind of a place I had so for
tunately fallen into. But with the exception of
the small orifice made by my body when it
crushed through the top, the place was as dark
as a dungeon, and hot—well, gentlemen, I really
believe the terrible Black Hole oi Calcutta was
cool in comparison.
I heard the tramping to and fro of the ele
phant as he raged here and there in search of
bis nimble enemy, who always appeared to slip
from his grasp when success was all but as
The harsh whistle of his trumpet was borne
to my ears, but with a muffled sound, while the
heavy thud, thud of the ponderous feet as they
struck tbe earth were sufficiently close to de
tach occasionally small particles of loose gravel
from above, which came rattling and tumbling
about my ears at intervals. What if the ele
phant, in his mad antics, should happen to
stumble upon the treacherous surface of the
trap. The very thought of such a dire catas
trophe was enough to make my blood run cold.
Long before bad the sun began to decline in
tbe west, and long, creeping shadows had glid
ed swiftly oer the earth. There is no twilight
in India, and darkness quickly follows upon the
disappearance of the sun. Through the little
opening of my singular haven of safety, I be
held the stars, one by one, peep forth and
twinkle merrily. For some time I had heard
nothing from the rogue. Silence, profound,
solemn and unbroken reigned around and
above me, unbroken even by the usual and ac
customed noises common to a tropical jungle.
I had scarcely made an attempt to move since
I had fallen so unceremoniously into the noi
some hole. Expecting to be ground instantly
to death ’neath the huge feet of the rogue,
when I realized the tree bad been uprooted, my
sudden reprieve from a terrible fate, had re
acted with considerable effect upon my nerves.
Then the fright,shock of the fall,in fact all com
bined tended to have kept me remarkably still,
quiet and undemonstrative. It was, without
doubt, very fortunate for me that I was half
dazed, at least until I had to a great extent re
covered my self-command.
I determined to make an effort to crawl from
the trap, to scale the rough sides and escape to
the surface above. The air was heavy with
noxious vapors, while the heat rivaled that of
an oven- heat ten times over, at least so it ap
peared to me.
But with the first movement on my part to
rise, I was greeted by a sound, gentiemen, that
almost stopped the beating of my heart, and
sent the life blood, chill and icy, back through
my throbbing veins, with a sudden force that
all but robbed me of my senses.
Somewhat accustomed to the gloom of the
pit, I was enabled to make out dimly two
gleaming-sparks in the further corner of tho
tiger trap. They scintillated, flashed, moved
slightly from side to side, but never for a mo
ment lost their unearthly brilliancy. Some
times they were higher, then lower, and in all
the varying movements my eyes, as if fascina
ted by some subtle, horrible power, were fixed,
riveted upon the burning, gleaming spots.
Tbe noise I had heard and recognized was the
peculiar hiss of the dreaded hooded snake—the
most deadly known to all India—the terrible
cobra-de-capello—or hooded serpent.
That was what 1 had for a companion, gentle
men, in my somewhat cramped up quarters,
and I would gladly have taken my chances,
faced the rogue and fallen belore his fury, than
be exposed to the pangs, poison, agony and
loathsome attack of the scaly, horrible reptile,
who appeared to be disposed to dispute with
me the right of possession in that wretched
hole. Gladly would I have vacated, and not
stood upon the order or ceromony of my exit —
but the cobra would not have it so.
ihe flaming eyes had apparently grown
larger, the swaying motion had increased,while
a succession of angry hisses attested to the fact
that tbe reptile was about to make a spring.
It's bite was death. I knew that, and acted up
on the spur of the moment.
You remember I mentioned having with me a
long sharp hunting knife ? Well, tbe edge was
as keen as a razor—and quick as lightning the
trusty blade was gripped in my hand. 1 sum
moned to my aid all the strength and fortitude
I had remaining, took a step forward—sweep
ing the steel blade with full force in front of
my body. I felt the metal strike the slimy
coils—and, well, I suppose I must have fainted,
for the next thing I realized the sun was shin
ing in my face.
Out of that den I crawled, more dead than
alive, never venturing to glance over my shoul
der. Cobra and hunting knife 1 left* behind
me. I never wanted to gaze upon either again.
It was not without difficulty that I effected
my exit from the suffocating pit, and once the
surface was gained, a confused grouping of
dogs and natives, Ponsboy and his pony swam
before my feeble gaze.
When next I came to myself it was to find
myself within the comfortable bungalow of my
friend, who related the finale of that hunting
They had dodged the rogue, hung upon his
trail, had witnessed the brute’s furious on
slaught upon the tree in which I had taken
refuge—and with its fall had given me up for
lost. But my strange and complete disappear
ance, leaving no trace behind—noteven a shred
of clothing amid the debris and litter made by
the elephant—puzzed Ponsboy. But the des
truction of the brute was a matter of grave im
portance to my friend, who could not afford to
linger over theories or indulge in useless re
pinings as to my fate. Using his rifles to good
purpose, keeping well under cover, he finally
had the satisfaction of wiping out his enemy.
Then the search for me was commenced in ear
nest,but I appeared in the scene ere it had pro
gressed to any great length. Tho shock to my
nervous system was so great, however, that I
never again ventured to seek sport within the
shadow of an Indian jungle.
Electricity is a very serious matter,
aud yet tfliaon makes light of it.
(From the Epoch.)
It wrb with anything but satis'action that I
| found myself compelled, a lew weeks ago, to
make a night journey from Skanosvllle to New
i ton-Centres. The firm for which 1 traveled
: was bent on opening up new “ territory,” and
I had sent me out as a pioneer. Skanesville had
; not developed any considerable desire for our
goods, and, as its alleged “ best ” hotels offered
a most undesirable compound of bad food and
worse beds, I determined to effect my escape
as soon as possible. To call .Skanesville a
“cross-road town” would be a gross flattery,
for ii there is such a term as a “cross-ten-road
town,” then Skanesville is entitled to that des
ignation. It had been a difficult place to get
to, but a study of railroad guides showed it
even a more difficult place to leave. This was
probably the principal reason of the growh’of the
town—a fact on which tbe Skanesvilleites were
given to boasting. Two trains left this inland
I paradise daily, at the convenient hours of 11:30
J P. M., and 4:25 A. M. To get to Newton-Con
tres, I found 1 should have to change three
! times on the night train, and four on the early
I morning one. As I had two heavy sample
trunks, I chose the former.
All Skanesville seemed to go to bed at nine,
so, shortly alter that hour I went down to the
depot, hoping to find tho ticket agent a little
livelier companion. In this 1 was disappointed,
as be combined the offices of station master,
ticket-seller and porter. In,the latter capacity,
he had shortly before wrestled with my trunks,
and when he unhappily recognized me as their
proprietor, he crushed severely all my attempts
at familiarity. So I sat down and smoked, and
walked and smoked till the train arrived,which
it naturally did about forty-five minutes late.
A sleeping-car was an unknown luxury on
that road, so I had the prospect of a pleasant
“sit-up,” varied by the numerous waits and
changes m store for me. Fortunately, though
the car was pretty well filled, I found two un
occupied seats, and having had one turned
over, I proceeded to make myself as comforta
ble as possible, and tried to catch a nap. My
comparative ease was short-lived, lor at the
next stopping place several people got on board,
and though 1 pretended to be asleep, one un
feeling individual came and sat himself on such
portion of the front seat as my feet left uncov
ered. I watched him through my almost closed
eyelids, and did not like his aspect. Something,
I did not know what, gave his countenance a
sinister look. As he moved toward the seat I
noticed that he limped slightly in his walk.
There was certainly a kind of what the Scotch
term “uncanniness” about him, and after a few
minutes I took my feet from the seat, pretended
to rouse up, and mumbled a word of apology
about having taken up so much room. The
stranger begged me not to mention it, and sug
gested that my feet did not inconvenience him.
The steady glare with which he seemed to be
regarding me soon became so unpleasant that I
proposed he should have the seat turned over,
and thus avoid tbe disagreeableness of sitting
with his back to the locomotive.
“I don't mind that a bit,” said he; “beside
it’s more dangerous.”
“*Moro dangerous 1” I repeated, in astonish
“ Yes: haven’t you noticed that in the sleep
ers they always make up the berths with the
feet to t .e locomotive ? That’s because if there’s
a sudden jerk you are thrown forward. Now if
your head’s against the forward partition, you
probably, in case of an accident, have your
skull split or break your neck.”
“Then aren't you a raid of sitting that way?”
I asked.
“No, I like it.”
I began to foar that I bad got into the com
pany of a lunatic. 1 knew there was an asylum
somewhere in the neighborhood. This man’s
looks, particularly in the one eye on which the
dim light light of the lamp ell, had the peculiar
glitter which I had read was characteristic of a
madman. And he never took that eye off me I
I again nearly closed my eyes and pretended
to be trying to sleep, but all the time I was
keeping a sharp lookout lest he should develop
any violent tendencies.
Soon the road-bed began to get so rough that
a succession of sharp jerks nearly threw me off
the seat. Pretence at sleep was no longer pos
sible, so I sat up, rubbed my eyes and re
marked :
“ This is a pretty rough road.”
“You can bet it’s about the worst [ know in
the whole country. That’s why I’m working it.
But Charley Hicks is driving to-night and he’s
so careful I’m afraid there isn’t any chance.”
There was no longer any doubt that the man
was mad. I glanced round the car to see ii
there was an unoccupied seat to which I could
conveniently move. There was not. I had
heard it was best to humor maniacs, so I
thought I would draw him out.
“It seems to me as if you wouldn’t mind be
ing in an accident,” I began.
“ Mind it! That’s what I’m looking for ! Do
you think I’d ride on this miserable road for
anything else?”
I was clearly in for it now, I muet keep him
talking and interested.
“ Why do you want an accident ?” I asked,
expecting him to tell me how be loved to hear
the timbers smashing, the glass splintering, aud
fairly reveled over the scene oi horror and suf
“ I live on ’em,” he calmly answered, “but
thia infernal rond boouib to have a gruLo
against me. I’ve been working it for two months
and must have spent nigh on to SIOO for tickets,
and haven’t made a cent. Only last week
there was a beautiful smash up to this very
train, and would you believe it, I was almost
the only passenger who wasn’t badly hurt.”
I was just about to congratulate him on his
escape when I fortunately remembered his
mental condition, and checked myself in time.
“ How do you manage to live on accidents ?”
I inquired.
“Because I’m insured. Of course it don’t pay
every one to get insured. It’s all a lottery, but
so far I’ve been very fortunate. Do you see that
leg ?” he said, poking his right out toward me.
“Feel the ankle and the foot.”
Now, 1 had no desire to investigate his anato
my, but, as I was still uncertain of his responsi
bility, I complied.
“It feels pretty hard,” I observed, after
fingering it very gently.
“Don’t be afraid of hurting me,” he said;
“ its wood 1”
“ Wood 1” I ejaculated.
“Yes, some time before my first accident—
that foot was my first-a friend persuaded me
to take out au accident policy. 1 was a profes
sional billiardist, and 1 traveled about a good
deal playing matches and giving exhibitions.
Well, I got into a smash-up, and that’s the re
sult. I got five thousand dollars for that foot,
but my trade was gone. I couldn’t move fast
enough round a table to play in public, so I
hired a room, and went into the business of
keeping tables. It didn’t pay, and I lost nearly
all my money. I wasn’t good for anything else,
and I didn't know what to turn to. One day I
struck a bright idea. ‘An accident took away
my living; it’s only fair that accidents should
keep me I” I said. So I began looking out for
likely bits of road, and it wasn’t much more
than a month before I was on a beauty. Do you
see this ?” he continued, pointing to the eye, the
glare of which had so frightened me. ♦
“I do,” I mildly answered.
“ It’s glass. Isn’t it a darling ? So natural it
deceives every one.”
“ It quite deceived me,” I was able to remark,
with absolute truth.
“Glad you like it. I’ll give you the address
of the maker, in case you should ever want one
or two. He’s away ahead—the best in the busi
ness. Well, that eye was another one thousand
three hundred dollars.”
“ Not much lor an eye 1” I sympathetically
“No, it wasn’t enough. You see, they pay
five thousand dollars for two eyes, and 1 don’t
think the proportion is right. But I did better
next time. Feel that arm !”
I did as I was bid, and inquired if it was also
“Papier mache,” he said, proudly. “It’s
away ahead of wood for lightness and strength.
Made by Mason, best in the biz. Go to him ii
you ever want anything in that line.”
“ How much did the arm bring you ?”
“Five thousand dollars, and that 1 consider
my best speculation.”
“Doesn’t the insurance company object to
your frequent claims ? ’
“ Well, 1 do a little bit in canvassing, so my
traveling seems to be legitimate.”
“ I should have thought you’d made enough
to retire.”
“ I’ve got a very large family, and I’m bound
to do my best for ’em.”
“But you can hardly conveniently spare any
more limbs, or even another eye, unless it
should be the glass one.”
“No, that’s true. I’m wanting a nice inter
nal injury or some cracked ribs, that’ll give me
a weekly indemnity of SSO for about six
“ But,” I began, and then paused, for I didn’t
quite know how to phrase my question deli
cately. A happy thought occurred to me and I
said : “ You’ve described this insurance busi
ness as a lottery ; suppose you should draw the
capital prize ?”
“You mean ‘death,’ ” he calmly observed ;
“ then mv family would get SIO,OOO. I think
that’s fully as much as what’s left of me is
And I was quite able to agree with him.
Uncle Toni’s Ideas Concerning Law and
Kindred Subjects.
(From the Kansas City Times, - )
“Are you a citizen of Wyandotte county?”
asked the Hon. Bailey Waggener of an old col
ored man who hobbled into the jury-box with
the aid of a long hickory cane.
“ I is, sab,” replied the aged darky.
“ How long have you been such ?’’
“ I donno, sah.”
“ Have you formed or expressed an opinion
about the case
“ Well, I donno. I have resulted the matter
considerable, and when my mind was fully rec
tified, I went down to de track. I met the
sheriff and he told me to reappear, and I left.”
“ Have you formed an opinion that the train
was wrecked by accident or design
“ Yes, sah ; X think it was wrecked by ’zign,”
“ Are you opposed to capital punishment?”
“ No, sah.”
“Do you know what capital punishment is?”
“ No, sah.”
■! Have yon any cnnswhtlous scruples ?”
‘‘No* 1 have not.”
"Do you think that a man should be hanged
for murder ?”
“ Yes, sah ?”
“If the evidence fn the case should show the
defendant to be guilty of murder, would you
hesitate to find a verdict of guilty because the
penalty might be death ?”
“ Yes, sab, I would.”
“In the trial of the case, would yon be con
trolled by the evidence or by what you have
heard ?”
"I would, to the best of my ability.”
“ Would the evidence control you in arriving
at a verdict?”
“ Not if I could help it.”
“ Do you know what an oath is ?”
“ I does not.”
“ In the trial of ths case, would you feel your
self bound by your oath ?”
“ I has not ’fleeted on that subject, sah.”
brotiierTess girls.
It is the Brother that Weeds Out Affec
tations aud Makes You Practical.
Says “Bel Thiatlewaite,” in the Toronto
Globe: Tbe other day, at the dining table in a
lake steamer, I chanced to sit opposite a young
girl who, with cast-iron indifference to the at
tention of observers, was carrying on a very
open flirtation with the commercial traveler at
her side.
“ Poor girl,* said my companion; “ probably
she has no mother.”
My own belief is that she haa no brother.
There are mothers silly enough to care nothing
about their daughter’s misbehavior, or even to
smile complacently upon it, but I never yet
i knew of a brother who would not protest
against the spectacle of his sister making what,
in his honest, downright phraae, he would call
a complete fool of herself.
A great deal of sentiment has been written
about a sister’s influence. Let us glance briefly
at that equally admirable force, a brother’s in
The fact that is first to strike the disinterest
ed observer of brothers, aa a class, ia that there
is no nonsense about them. They are unro
mantic, apt to say what they think, and apt to
think in a matter-of-fact way. No compliments
can carry quite so much value on the face of it
as the compliment a man or boy pays to his sis
ter. Your father and lover or husband are
naturally prone to exaggerate your charms, and
a chance acquaintance may merely wish to
make himself agreeable, but a word of encour
agement irom your brother means what he
says, and probably means a great deal more,
for the typical brother is chary of praise and
given to under-statement when expressing ad
miration of his sister.
So when your brother tells you that your per
formance is not half bad, or that you look iair
to middling, or that your dress will do, or that
he is glad that you know enough to behave
yourself, yon may be tolerably certain that in
all these points you are above reproach. Also
it must be considered a mark of high apprecia
tion for a man to tell his tall sister that he nates
a dumpy woman, or a short one that he can’t
bear to walk beside a giraffe, or his thin one
that it’s a pity some fat girl of their acquaint
ance is as shapeless aa a bag of salt, ©r his fat
one that it’s a comfort to see one woman who
doesn’t look as though she were always hungry
and cold. For myself I never weary of the com
pliment to my companionableness conveyed in
the oit-repe ted words of that member of the
Thistlethwaite family who is said to be wedded
to his sisters.
“ Oh, don’t bring out your writing to-night;
this is the first long talk we’ve had to-day.”
A brotherless girl may have a languid air, a
simpering expression, and the habit ot using
long words where short ones would be better,
but any one who can boast ot from two to eight
brothers is sure to have her little affectations
well weeded out.
The girl whose brother is one of her best
friends will not make eyes nor drawl nor give
her photograph to an acquaintance of yester
day, nor answer advertisements whose object
is “ mutual improvement.”
She will understand that there are some sorts
of innocent sounding slang that ought never to
be used, and she will remember that the women
who wish to retain the reverence of men, should
decide how little slang they can possibly get
along with and not use a quarter of that. She
will learn that men, good and’bad alike, treat
a silly woman civilly to her face, and pronounce
her an awful goose* behind her back ; that no
body has a profound regard for awful geese ex
cept the men who marry them, and that even
they—well, we will not go further into the sub
ject, but at any rate they find out a great deal
of which tho brotherless girl knows nothing at
A great deal is written about selfish and de
praved boys who are ruined for life by tbe inju
dicious fondling received from their mothers
and sisters, and it maybe that, to a youth of
naturally evil tendencies, petting and adulation
are almost as bad as snubbing" and scolding;
but even a bad boy has a strong sense of justice,
a love of fair play and a willingness to stand up
for those who stand up for him. Any girl who
really interests herself in her ten or twelve or
fourteen-year-old brother, who acquaints her
self with his ideas, furthers his plans, shows
that she takes a genuine pleasure in bis society,
will find not only that her influence over him is
daily increasing, but also that his wholesome,
practical and sensible way of looking at things
is a decided benefit to her.
This is tho way it happened. You see, Nannie
Gibson an’ me wus jist like sisters, only Nannie
took to book lamin’ an’ sech things, an’ 1 hated
the sight uv a book. Well, to make a long story
short, the skewlmaster, as fine a lookin’ man as
ever you see, fell in love with Nannie, an’ she
was almost a dyin’ uv love fer him. But Nan
nie’s paw jist put his foot down an’ sed she
shouldn’t marry no seek a fool. You see, ole man
Gibson thought everybody wuz fools what
didn’t think an’ butcher the grammer es he did.
He said Nannie bad to marry Bud Steens, a
bow-legged, cross-eyed dunce, with great big
yaller teeth, an’ long stragglin’ hair. He’d star’
at a body an’ grin like a sick possum. Now,
just think of Nannie, who s es purty os a pictur,
with purty little white han’s, an’ awburn hair
that ud make an artis’ rave, jist think uv her
bein' tied to that ugly, dirty Bud Steens, who
didn’t even know his A B C's I
You see Bud Steensos daddy had a mortgage
on old man Gibson’s place, an’ old man Steens
sed if Nannie ’ud marry Bud, ever’thing ’ud be
squar’. Nannie’s maw didn’t like Bud, but she
had to agree about ever’thing her ole man man
said an’ done, so she agreed that Nannie bed to
marry Bnd to save the place. Nannie cried an’
said she would not marry him if be was all gold,
but ole Gibson told her to shot up.
Mr. Lewis, that’s the skewelmaster, an 1 Nan
nie writ to one a ’tother most ever’day, an’ I
carried thir mail.
You see, I got on the good side uv ole man
Gibson by praisin’ uv Bud an’ scolding uv Nan
nie for not wantin’ to marry him.
It wus one Sunday evenin’ that George an' me
—George Lyne, you know, wus my beau, an’
bed been for nigh onto two years, but he wus
too bashful to pop the question -well, George
an’ mo went over to Nannie’s, an’ we three took
a little walk. Ole man Gibson wouldn’t let us
git out'n bis sight, so we walked up an’ down
the lane.
“Nannie,” ses I, “Mr. Lewis is to our house
waitin' fer your anser. He’ll hev a buggy ready
fer you to-night, an’ my paw an* maw’ll go an’
see you married safe. I’ll stay with you to-night
an’ jist drap a hint to your paw to keep a watch
on you.”
“O,” ses Nannie, “that wouldn’t bo fair.”
“Never min’,” ses I, “George an’ me’ll fix
Well, during the evenin’ I managed to whis
per to ole man Gibson that I believed Nannie
was fixin' to run off with the skewlmaster, an
’vised him to keep a sharp look out for ’em an'
to say nothin' ’bout it to Nannie.
You see we planned it in this way. George
wus to git a boss an’ buggy, and be at the Gib
son hou ;e a little arter midnight. I wus to slip
out an’jump in the buggy, an’ we’d light out
with ole man Gibson a follerin’, an’ let Nannie’s
beau take her off in peace.
Well, George cum ’long with *be buggy an’ I
jumped in, and we struck out for Hawsville,
which was a good ten mfle off.
Ole man Gibson was the maddest man you
ever see ! He jumped ou his ole boss, an’ took
arter us a yellin’ an’ a shootin’. We hadn’t cal
kerlated on the shootin’ part, an’ so we driv
like all possessed.
Nannie’s beau cum ’long arter her with paw
and maw. They went to Jamestown, which was
right t’other way frum Hawsville.
It wus gittin’on to’ard daybreak when George
an’ mo got to town. We stopped the buggy an’
waited ter ole man Gibson to own up.
George turns ’round an’ sesee:
“ Whut air vou a runnin’ an’ a shootin 1 at us
Ole man Gibson jist looked like a goose fer a i
spell; then sesee:
“ Whar's Nannie?”
“ She’s married by this time, I reckon,” ses I.
“My paw and maw’s seeing her all safe.”
At this, ole man Gibson whipped out his six
shooter an’ pinted it at George, an’ sesee:
“Now git right ’long to the clerk’s offus.
You’n Liza Ann's got to git married afore you
leave this town.”
George wus skeert nigh to death. Sesee:
“ Mr. Gibson, Liza Ann hamt sed she’d mar
ry mo yit 1”
You haint axed her /yit,” hollered ole man
Gibson, still a pintin’ his shooter.
I wus tickled all over, for I’d bin a wantin’
George all long, but ’twant my place to ax him
to hev me. But the fun uv it war this, my paw
didn’t like George, an’ he sed 1 shouldn’t marry
him. Taw had sot his heart on me a marryin’
ov Jo Stubs, a green-eyed dandy who loant him
six bits ouct, but I liked George, an’ I knowed
’at George liked me.
Well, the up shot ov it wus, George an’ me
lost no time in gittin’ married. The ole man
Gibson sed he’d hurry home an 1 hev Mrs. Gib
son fix up a good dinner fer all uv us. He
lowed’t he’d got ’bout even with paw.
When George an’ me got back to the 010 man
Gibsonses, thar wusNannie ’n her ole man look
ing es happy es two doves.
Ole man Gibson hadn’t told the news yit, so
none on ’em knowed’t George an’ me was mar
“Well, sir,” laughed paw, “we got ahead on
’em all, didn’t we ?”
Ole man Gibson jumped up an’ said, “You
bet we did ! Mister Sanders, ’low mo to intro- |
duce you to Mr. and Mrs. Pyne
Law 1 paw was so mad for a while that I got '
kinder skeort. But they r]l not to jokin’him,
an’ sqvn he got over his mad fit. " |
We hed a big shindig thet night, an’ paw
danced the first set with Nannie, an’ ole man
Gibson he danced the first set with me.
i So, you see, tbet’s tbe way we come to hev a
double weddin’, an’ we was all satisfied.—Chi
cago Inter-Ocean.
Albuquerque, N. Mex., |
September 29, ’B7. j
To the Editor of the N. Y.llispatch:
The wonderful facilities for comfortable and
rapid transportation, furnished by railroads
and steamboats, have produced a class of
tramps who spend their time in sight-seeing.
They have traveled over and under Europe, and
have nearly exhausted the resources of this
country ; but they are still journeying, wanting
to see, you see, and to know, you know. Tho
world of men and women, society, politics, all
that pertains to a stationary life, have but little
interest for them. Like the less respectable
begging tramp, they have become so infatuated
with their nomadic life, that they are willing to
dispense with many comforts, rather than re
nounce it. It is, perhaps, our duty to provide
“fresh fields and pastures new,” for these
visual gormandizers, and if they have not seen
Albuquerque, we advise them to seek this sunny
clime. No fairer skies, no more delightful air
can be found in the United States. Indeed in
some portions of the city one questions if he be
under the protection of the Stars and Stripes.
The town consists of two distinct parts, about
a mile distant from each other. This is the
junction of the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe
Road with the Atlantic and Pacific, completed
in ’Bl. Tbe new town, having 4,000 inhabitants,
has been built since then. Oi course the busi
ness part of the city is located here. Tbe
tourist can find good entertainment. The quiet
of a family hotel is at the San Felipe, erected
in ’B4.
But for the dreamy and romantic, we must
go to tbe old town, though it is necessary to
patronize tbe modern street car. We might
ride a burro, tbe funny little donkey, which is
found roaming all over this country. Here the
soft tongue of Spain is heard on every hand.
The houses are of adobe (sun dried mud), one
story in hight, with flat roofs. The native Mex
icans are never in a hurry. Perhaps they think
it is not worth while to exert themeelves very
much, as the day and night come alike to all.
Indeed, one feels in this glorious sunlight that,
“Life is enough, no matter whether one be a
bird or a flower.”
We turn to the plaza. In the centre is a ro
mantic looking place, embowered with vines.
It proves to be a barber’s shop, guarded by a
big dog. Not far away are the gardens of the
Jesuits. More big dogs; but these are silenced,
and a gentlemanly father proves the magic
sesame to open the gates and show to us the
beauties of the famous gardens. Many kinds
of fruits are cultivated, but grapes more largely
than any other. Across the plaza are the cathe
dral, the cloister and the convent. Here the
brothers and sisters live their quiet, monoto
nous lives. Judging from their peaceful faces,
the spirit of unrest which the sated tourist feels
does not possess their hearts.
But the practical American directs his hasty
steps to mingle in the bustle of a railway centre
to get his mail, which he finds every morning
from east, west, north and south, He may read
tbe dispatches of the Associated Press in the
Albuquerque Democrat, ably conducted by
Colonel J. G. Albright, whose enterprise in this
direction has no rival in tho southwest.
If there were any way of getting up a corner
in sunshine wo should certainly do it, bottle it
up and forward it at a fancy price to tbe less
lortuuate east, it would be such a successful
speculation that we might then be abje to turn
tramp ourselves; lor we confess that the life
has a strong fascination for us. S. L. M.
I well remember an incident illustrative of
their rigid rules concerning dancing. In a large
household near Charlottesville, Va., where the
old-lashioned ways were still adhered to, there
were numerous servants, tho old family slaves’
children, and they came to the white people
with their troubles in religion or anything else.
We schoolgirls had our hand-maiden, in whom
we took special interest, and she repaid it by a
conscientious, faithful discharge of all her
duties. But one morning Izuana failed to ap
pear at the usual time, and when we mentioned
it at tho table Dr. H., the head of the house,
spoke out indignantly:
“ Yes, I am really angry with that blockhead
preacher, and shall see him about it this morn
ing. He has actually turned Izuana, as good a
little darky as 1 ever saw, out of the church,
and why? Because ata party last night she
walked out to supper and around the table
while the banjo was playing I And some tale
bearer reported that she went out keeping step,
and‘like the grand chain.’ If he don’t take
her back
Here he smote the table with his fist, and we
began a series of angry, excited exclamations
over tho absurdity and tyranny of the affair.
We rushed to find Izuana to give expression to
our sympathy, but were met by her mother.
“Weil, 1 mue’ say I’m s'prised at you who
b’long to de church should act so. Ef Ezuana
hadn t been with worldly folks ehe wouldn’t
hab got inter the worldly ways, and de debbil
wouldn’t hab sifted her like wheat like he’s
doin’ now. Ef you goes foolin’ roun’ de deb
bil’s plantation a-snifiin’ bis melons, he’s goin’
to nab you, shure. An’ Brer Harris done jest
right. He am a faithful shepherd of his flock.”
Astonished beyond measure, we crept away,
but in the evening ventured to condole with the
excommunicated one. She answered by throw
ing her apron over her head, and saying in sub
dued tones:
“Oh, de debbil has fought hard wid me dis
day. I felt dat music in my bones, an* I stepped
my feet to it, an’ he came mighty near getting
me to-day. He came down de chimbly while I
was a-clayiu’ de hearth, an’ ef I hadn’t hol
lered to de Lord he would have tuk mo.”
This instance taught me that they are sub
missive to the rules of their church, even when
these rules are fanatical, and that the rule be
tween worldly people and members is closely
drawn on “ worldliness.”
The Sun. —The sun is a vast body one
million two hundred and sixty thousand' times
as large and nearly three hundred and twenty
seven thousand times as heavy as the earth.
That which we see ot it ordinarily is a white
hot central mass, which is really only a part ot
the great globe. Next to this there is a beau
tifully-colored envelope Irom five thousand to
ten thousand miles in thickness, called the
chromosphere, while outside this is a compara
tively dense atmosphere, or corona, stretching
away for at least one hundred thousand miles,
while beyond that again there is a further at
mosphere consisting to a large extent of hydro
gen, the lighte-'t substance known, reaching, it
may be. a million miles or more further into
space. Look at the sun shining brightly above
us; it seems a picture of quietude and stately
grandeur. In point of fact it is something very
different. There is nothing with which man is
acquainted that is in such wild confusion as the
surface of the sun. Talk of startling volcanic
eruptions, earthquakes and storms; the violence
ot all terrestrial commotions since the world
was inhabited would not equal one hour’s dis
turbance on the face ot that boiling caldron we
call the sun. A cyclone on the earth’s surface
that whirls round at the rate of one hundred
miles an hour is a hurricane carrying all before
it; but there are solar whirlwinds and fiery
floods that sweep along at ono hundred miles a
second. An eruption ot Vesuvius entombs
Pompeii; but there are momentary and unceas
ing eruptions on the sun in which tbe whole
earth would melt with tervent heat and be en
gulfed, so as to leave not a rack behind except
an inappreciable addition to the sun’s gaseous
High Up in Aib. —An attempt ha«
lately been made at Paris, says Chamhers’s
Joui’uai, by SIM. Jovis and Slallot, to rise to a
greater bight in the atmosphere by means of a
balloon, than has ever yet been done. The »ro
nauts took with them a number of instiumonts
for the purpose of making observations, and
among these was a barometor designed to meas
ure bights of upward ot thirty thousand feet,
and a thermometer which would record temper
atures fifty degrees below zero. A new feature
was represented by tho provision of bags of
oxygen, tor the purpose of inhalation by the
aeronauts after attaining high elevations. It
will be remembered that in 1862, Messrs. Glai
sher and Coxwell ascended from Wolverhamp
ton tor the purpose of making scientific obser
vations irom a balloon, and that they then
reached the extraordinary altitude of seven
miles above the earth. On this occasion both
the occupants of the car suffered very much,
Mr. Glaisher becoming quite insensible for a
time. A similar experience seems to have been
the lot of these French experimenters, one of
them having tainted twice upon reaching the
altitude of twenty thousand leet, the faintness
being speedily mitigated alter inhalation of the
oxygen provided. The ascent was successful,
but the hight reached was far below that at
tained by Mr. Glaisher and his companion, as
already recorded.
A Fist Like a Sledge Hammer —
Sebastian Muller is the name of a Swiss whose
per ormance is thus described by tbe Register:
“ Muller is twenty-five years old, five feet eight
inches in hight, and tips the beam at one hun
dred and ninety-eight and a half pounds. He
is well built, with large and massive shoulders,
and splendidly developed muscles on arms and
chest. Taking a stone about six inches long,
and of the usual cobblestone shape, he held it
firmly with his left hand against an iron ball
fastened to the top of a barrel. Then swinging
his right arm around his head, he brought the
hand down sideways with fearful force upon
the stone, about two inches from the end. With
a crack, the stone broke into several pieces,
which flew oil' in different directions. The op
eration was exactly similar to that of a black
smith wielding a sledge hammer. Tho last
stone broken was a nearly round, rough-tex
tured piece of white quartz, such as is often
found along country roads. This was also I
shivered into pieces. Alter the perionuance, |
MnPer’s ban 1 showed no sv-n qj ;Jj-.
blows except a slight redneis,”
' A Paris Ghost. —A kind of successor
1 to the famous Cook Lane Ghost has been
“ raised ” and run to earth in a rather dismal
part of Paris. The apparition, the Paris cor
respondent of the London Daily Telegraph
was in the habit of making its manifestations
near the lugubrious Champs de Navets, or
" Turnip Field,” where the mangled remains of
decapitated criminals are finally deposited after
i the doctors have done with them. For the past
fortnight the people who dwell near the ceme
tery have been frightened by the “bogey,”
which usually selected cloudy nights lor its
walks abroad. The spectre was described as
being of gigantic size, with long arms, and some
market gardeners, who had passed near it in
their carts during the small hours of the morn
ing, said that one of their number had fired a
whole pocketful oi bullets from a revolver at it
without touching it. The inhabitants of the
Ivry township became so terror-stricken that
not one of them would venture near the grave
yard at night. Legends and tales were being
last concocted by the oldest inhabitants inorder
to impress the younger people with a due idea
of the thrilling experiences of their elders, and
it was darkly hinted that the ghost might be the
shade of one of the murderers whose debris
find a resting-place in the Ivry graveyard. The
more practical inspector of police of the district,
however, regarded the ghost from a nineteenth
century point of view; and when the mysterious
movements of the gigantic figure with the long
arms were brought to his cognizance, he
shrewdly conjectured that the long arms were
in search of something. He accordingly organ
ized a razzia as if the ghost were a vulgar noc
turnal prowler, and his men stationed them
selves behind a clump of trees. Soon they saw
the phantom rise from a grave and direct its
steps toward a potato field close to the cemetery.
Having unceremoniously climbed a wall.between
it and the potatoes, the apparition proceeded to
a hiding-place, whence it drew forth a hand
cart, which it began to fill with potatoes. The
policemen charged at the midnight potato-rob
ber and handcuffed him. The apparition, en
veloped in his winding-sheet, was then marched
to the station house, where he was speedily
identified as a juvenile delinquent of the parish
who had already qualified himself for change of
air beyond the seas by divers offences which he
had planned with great ingenuity I
A Very Intelligent Dog. —Lion was
a huge Newfoundland, whose mistress lives in
Boston, and who gives continual proofs of his
immense sagacity. The following is a case in
One day a lady called on Lion’s mistress.
During her call Lion came in rather shyly, lay
down on the parlor carpet, and went to sleep.
The conversation ran on, and the visitor said
finally: “ What a handsome New.oundland you
have 1”
Lion opened one eye.
“Yes” said his mistress; “he is a very
good dog, and takes excellent care of the chil
Lion opened the other eye and waved his tail
complacently to and fro along the carpet.
“When the baby goes out he always goes
with her, and I feel perfectly sure that then no
harm can come to her,” his mistress went on.
Lion’s tail thumped up and down violently on
the carpet.
“ And he is so gentle to them all, and such a
playmate and companion to them, that we would
not tike a thousand dollars lor him.”
Lion’s tail now went up and down, to and fro,
and round and round, with great and undis
guised glee.
“ But,” said his mistress, “Lion has one seri
ous fault.”
Total subsidence of Lion’s tail, together with
the appearance of an expression of great con
cern on his lace.
“He will come in here with his dirty feet and
lie down on the carpet, when I have told him
time and again that he musn’t do it.”
Here Lion arose with an air of the utmost de
jection and humiliation and slunk out of the
room, with his lately exuberant tail totally crest
fallen. Such is the story as told. Lion is
probably a dog after Sir John Lubbock’s own
A Humane Physician. —Sir Benjamin
Brodie, who was a famous London physician
thirty years ago, was high-minded, humane
and reverently religious. His professional in
come exceeded, for many years, sixty thousand
dollars a year, .vet he was always liberal in his
practice, and served the poor gratuitously.
Sometimes he also bought medicine, and gave
it to those who were too poor to pay for it.
A gentleman sent to him an old servant, a
woman, who had cut her finger with a chopper.
The wound having been neglected until inflam
mation set in, Dr; Brodie ordered amputation
of the finger, and offered to perform it then and
there. The old woman refused to consent to
this, and the great surgeon said:
“ Well, I will save your finger, but it will be
a slow business, and the finger will never be of
any use to you.”
For six weeks he saw the patient twice a week
at his own house, and saved the finger, though
it was a useless member, as he had anticipated.
On the evening ot the day he dismissed the
patient, the gentleman whose servant she was
called at the doctor’s house.
He was shown into the dining-room, where
the table was set for Sir Benjamin’s dinner, who
had not yet returned from visiting his patients.
A carriage presently arrived at the door, and
the busy physician entered.
“ What 1 you here ?” he exclaimed. “ I hope
you don’t personally wish my aid.”
“Not at all,” answered the gentleman, “but
T wish to write a check for your kind services
to my cook.”
“ Write a check I Indeed, you shall do no
such thing. Go home straight to your dinner,
and leave me to mine.”
‘‘A friend in need is a friend indeed.”
Such friend, is Dr. Bull’s Cough Syrup, which
should be in every family, it only costs 25
cents. Give it a trial.
One bottle of Salvation Oil can change a fran
tic victim of rheumatism into a dove of gentle
The Cause of Diphtheria. — Some
light appears to have been thrown at last upon
the origin of those mysterious cases of diph
theria which occur every now and then without
any apparent possibility of infection. Just as
Dr. Klein has demonstrated that a slight dis
ease in a cow may cause an epidemic of scarla
tina among those who drink her milk, so Dr.
George Turner, in a report just published by
the London Local Government Board, has pro
duced some considerable basis for the conclu
sion that fowls, cats, sheep and other animals
are liable to diphtheria, and may often commu
nicate it. Every one who has kept poultry is
familiar with the infectious disease known as
tho “gapes,” so called from the constant gap
ing of the animal affected by It. This is caused
by an animal parasite ; but Dr. Turner tells us
that very similar symptoms may be produced
by fowl diphtheria, and he adduces several in
stances in which the birds seem to have given
the infection to human beings. Many a sup
posed outbreak of “gapes” may have been a
far more terrible enemy, and have produced
fatal epidemics. On the other hand, children
are believed to have repeatedly given diph
theria to domestic cats.
It Doesn’t Pay to Have a Loost
Tongue. —Archduke John has been dismissed
from the Austrian army, Tho measure has
caused the greatest surprise, as the archduke is
considered to be one of the most talented gen
erals in the Austrian service. The archdude,
who is a nephew of the emperor, was born in
1852. Until the date of his dismissal he held
the rank of lieutenant-general and was in com
mand ot the third division ot Austrian infantry.
Some six or seven years ago he incurred the
emperor’s displeasure by a remarkable namph
lat on the state of the army, in which he merci
lessly criticized the leading lights of the Aus
trian war department, and held them up to con
tempt and ridicule. He is regarded as one ol
the cleverest officers of the army and as an able
strategist, but he is perpetually getting into
trouble on account of his satirical sayings and
writings. He causes the greatest consternation
in the imperial family by his marked radical and
even socialistic proclivities, which he airs at all
kinds of inopportune moments, and is at dag
gers drawn with his cousin, the Crown Prince
.Rudolph, of whose scientific pretensions he
makes merciless lun.
Why Junks Have Eyes. —Chinese
junks and boats have eyes carved or painted on
the bows, which are usually supposed to be
a mere fanciful form of ornamentation. But
they have a real meaning, as a recent traveler
found. In going up one ot the rivers from
Ningpo, he was startled one day by seeing a
boatman seize his broad hat and clap it over
oneot tho “eyes ”of the boat, while other boats
on the stream were similarly blinded. Looking
about for an explanation, he saw a dead body
floating past, and ho was told by the boatman
that if the boit had been allowed to “ see ” it
some disaster would surely have happened
either to passengers or crew before the voyage
Preserving Milk. —Milk requires to
be kept in as cool a spot as possible, and is bet
ter placed on stone shelves than on wooden.
The use of a little carbonate of soda prevents it
from turning sour, and, if too much is not used,
has no injurious effect on the milk; a little cal
cined magnesia answers the same purpose, and
milk boiled with sugar also keeps some time.
In Russia, milk has been preserved for a long
period by slowly evaporating it over the fire un
til it is reduced to a solid substance; this is then
powdered and put into a bottle, which is oare
lully sealed with wax. When required for
use, it is dissolved in a proper quantity of
water, and has then all the properties as well as
the taste of milk.
Chinese Papers. —ln San Francisco
there are four journals regularly published in
Chinese characters. By the Chinese method a
good printer can produce only about 400 sheets
a day. Five days work, therefore, is required
to print an edition of 1,000 copies. The journals
are printed with black ink upon single sheets of
white paper, except on the Chinese New Year,
when the printing is done with red ink or upon
red paper.—Printers’ Register.
An Old Question Settled. —The old
question as to whether the upper part of a car
riage wheel in motion goes along faster than the
lower part, seems to have been settled by in
stantaneous photography. In the photograph
the outer ends of the upper spokes appear in
distinct r>y reason 01 the motion, while the
outer ends of the spokes in the lower part ot
the wheel are photographed with distinctness.
A Japanese Theatre. —There are two
tiers Of Loxes, the lower of which is provided
with sliding paper doors, forming small rooms
like bathing machines. The pit is divided by
low cross-bars into squares, reminding one of
cattle pens, each capable of holding tour per
sons comfortably, a Japanese family bent
upon enjoyment engages a compartment for the
I 1 ? a position suited to the purse—in th®
middle ot tho house, it well-to-do; nearer to tho
stage or to the back, according to tho scarcity
of coin—and, having deposited clogs in th®
yestiaire, take up a position with cushions, ket
tle, tea things, smoking tray, and never move
till midnight, except to pay visits to friends. A
Japanese theatrical performance commences
generally at early dawn, and lasts a dozen
Wood Eight Hundred Years Old.—
An interesting relic of the first London Bridge,
which was erected in the time of William tno
Conqueror, has been dug up from the bed of the
Thames in the course of some excavations which
have been lately made at Botolph Wharf. This
is a portion of one of the piles of the original
bridge, which seems to have been oblong in
section, instead oi square, according to modern
ideas. The wood is almost black, and is oaky
but although saturated with water and black
ened with its eight hundred years of immersion
in mud and water, it is still fit for service, and
might possibly do duty for another eight ceH”
The Difference in Squalls. —A white
squall is one which produces no diminution of
light. This furious and dangerous gust appears
in clear weather without any other warning than
the white foam it occasions on the surface
of the sea and a very thin haze. It ustrally
breaks upon a vessel when she is totally unpre-'x.
pared tor such a strain upon her canvas, and..
consequently proves one of the most dangerous
foes of the sailor’s existence. A black squall
Is far less dangerous, as it Is usually preceded
by an accumulation ot dark clouds and accom
panied by heavy rain. Time is thus given to
trim sails and to avert peril.
Bain as a Sanitary Agent. —Frequent
and moderate rain, such as constitutes the char
acteristic temperate climates generally, is the
most effective of all sanitary agencies. It
cleanses the ground, and, what is far more im
portant it cleanses the air. The ammoniacal
and other exhalations continually rising from
decomposing animal and vegetable matter
are all more or less soluble in water, and ar®
largely removed by gentle rain. Beside these.
a^sor^a carries down into rivers and
thence to the sea the excess of carbonic acid ex®
haled from our lungs, and prodifoed by our
fires and lights.
Odd Comrades. —A Scotch family,
when staying in the North of Ireland lately*
witnessed the following curious display of feel
ing in animals not usually credited with feel
ings. A boar-pig was in the habit every morn
ing of going to the basket where a blind kitten
of about, six weeks old was kept, allowing th®
little thing to creep on to his back, and then
taking it about and caring for it during the day.
The kitten got its food at the same time as the
pig, and at the same trough. In the evening
the man who saw to the animals used to carry
the kitten back to its basket to pass the night.
Bunyan’s Commitment Warrant.—•
Among the Chauncy collection of autograph®
recently sold m England was the origin'al war
rant under which Bunyan was arrested for th®
third time and imprisoned tor six months, dur
ing which time he is said to have written th®
first part of “ The Pilgrim’s Progress.” The
warrant is dated “March 4, 1674-5,” and ig
signed by twelve justices, six of whom wera
members of parliament and three of whom had
originally committed him for the previous
twelve years’ imprisonment. Bunyan in it ia
described as a “ tynker.”
An Ideal Priestess. -The black priest
ess Hcinda, in the black belt of Mississippi, ia
building up a strong theocracy. She claims to
be inspired and demands unquestioning obedi
ence in all things from her followers. She hold®
that virtue is tho highest law of man’s nature,
and her disciples must therefore lead very puro
lives. She delivers inspired addresses which
are listened to with rapt attention. Altogether
she fulfills the ideal of the large number of
negroes who incline to the supernatural, and
are constantly on the lookout for a new dis
Swallowed a Watch.— A man at
Prague, Bohemia, swallowed a watch with a
chain attached, which a joker had slipped into
a glass of beer while the man’s back was
turned. The metal, dissolved by the acids of
the stomach, has poisoned that organ, and
keeps it in an incessant state of fever, making
him unable to retain food. The man has been
dismissed from the Munich hospital as incura
ble, and now lies in a hospital at Prague, kept
alive by food artificially injected, waiting to see
whether the watch will all dissolve or he will
die first.
The Only Bight Method.—No man,
rich or poor, capitalist or laborer, can well
afford to surrender totally his individuality and
independence, or to surrender himself com
pletely to dictation. He who unites to bind
others ia himself bound as well. Sensible,
courteous, and manly assertion of right, look
ing to agreement rather than rude controversy
and resistance—to reason rather than coercion
—offers the only method of safe and lasting
adjustment of jarring claims and interests.
Paper Bipes. —Paper pipes have been
in use in Vienna for carrying gas and water un
derground, for months. Although only about
half an inch thick, they will resist an internal
pressure of 2,000 pounds per square inch. They
are light, cheap, easily adjusted or repaired and
are made after the manner followed in th®
manufacture of fireworks. They are rolled from
sheets, and while the rolling is’ in progress ar®
treated with asphalt. When completed, they
are lined with an insoluble enamel.
An Autograph Fiend Tricked —lt U
a very cold day when an autograph fiend get®
the better of Lord Tennyson. A Londoner
made a bet that he could get the poet’s auto
graph, so he sat down and wrote a polite not®
asking him which, in bis opinion, was the best
dictionary in the English language—Webster’s
or Ogilvie’s? By the next post came a half
sheet of note paper on which was carefully
pasted the word “Ogilvie,” cut out of the cor
respondent’s own letter.
Bruises in Wo id. —Bruises may be
taken out of the wood-work of scientific instru
ments by wetting with warm water. Then lay
on the place brown paper about five layers
thick, and apply a hot |iiat-iron until the mois
ture be evaporated. ]f the bruise be not gone,
repeat the process. If the bruise be small,
merely soak it with warm water, and apply a
red-hot poker near the surface. Keep the wood
wet, and in a few minutes the bruise will dis
Good Advice. —Prince Bismarck haiS
been writing good advice in an English
“’Mees’a” album. The young lady petitioned
the prince for bis autograph, declaring that a
few lines of his handwriting would make her
happy for life. So the Chancellor wrote on tho
front page of the book, “Beware, my
child, o: building castles in the air, for they
are buildings which we erect so easily, yet they
are the most difficult to demolish.”
The Best of Mousers. —The most ac
complished mouser that ever purred is but a
sluggard compared with the barn-owl in de
stroying rate and mice -a cat with wings, io
fact, and a bird which ought to be rigorously
protected. An empty barrel, fixed longitudin
ally among the lower branches of an ivy-clad
tree, will bo readily seized upon as a nesting
place by any owls which may be in the vicinity,.
To Take Frost Frim tie Ground.—
German plumbers melt the frost out of th®
ground by spreading a layer o* quick-lime, over
which is put a layer of snow, and these layer®
are repeated several times, acc >rdin ; to the ex
tento' the frost. Next morning the ground is
ready for pick and shovel.
“Did n’t Know’t was
Leaded ”
May do for a stupid boy’s excuse; but
what can be said for the parent who
sees his child languishing daily and fail.'
to recognize the want of a tonic and
blood-purifier? Formerly, a course oi
bitters, or sulphur and molasses, was the
rule in well-regulated families ; but now
all intelligent households keep Ayer’s
Sarsaparilla, which is at once pleasant
to the taste, and the most searching and
effective blood medicine ever discovered.
Nathan S. Cleveland, 27 E. Canton st.,
Boston, writes : “My daughter, now 21
years old, was in perfect health until a
year ago w’hen she began to complain of
fatigue, headache,'’ debility, dizziness,
indigestion, and loss of appetite. I con
cluded that all her complaints originated
in impure blood, and induced her to take
Ayer’s Sarsaparilla. This medicine soon
restored her blood-making organs to
healthy action, and in due time reestab
lished her former health. I find Ayer’s
Sarsaparilla a most valuable remedy for
the lassitude and debility incident to
spring time.”
J. Castright, Brooklyn Power Co.,
Brooklyn, N. Y., says : “As a Spring
Medicine, I find a splendid substitute
for tho old-time compounds in Ayer’s.
Sarsaparilla, with a few doses of Ayer’s
Pills. After their use, I feel fresher and
stronger to go through the summer.”
Ayer’s Sarsaparilla,
Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co., Lowell, Mass.
Price JI; Six bottles, $5. WorUi »t> a bottle*.

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