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TELL THEM TO OBEY THE LAWS AND UPHOLD THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES."- Worm or Sxbphis a. Do-cola...
UEBAKA, OHIO, "WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 31, 1862.
URB ANA UNION,
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.. . ,. a . i 4 hor Kori" 111.
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"The Courts have decided that refusing to take
"Tvenodicais iroiu ioe uukx, ui k.i'"'
the them uncalled for, is prima facie evidence of
Poetry for the Hour.
[From "Once a Month."]
Twtmttt millions held at bay 1
" "Why, Northmen, why f
Lss than half maintain the day!
Why Northmen, why?
With the sturdy iron will,
..' "With the pluck, the dash, the skill,
With the blood of Bunker Hill,
.' Why, Sortbmen, why f - .
"!.: : Bunding yet axe Sumter'a walls
Why, Northmen, why ?
; Slumbering jet th? avenging balls !
-. Why, Northmen, why t
r :. liaT-leirtin left to scoff at ease!
, Kichmuud vaunting as it please !
. -. Traitor-taunts on vcry breeze!
Why, Northmen, why T ,
hIIear our wounded eagle wail !
Wnv. Statesmen, why ?
V.See our spangled banner trail I
Why, Statesmen, why"? . ; .
. "Ctiard England ruocks amain !
Courtlv Pans shrugs disdain ! '
t." ,VCufu'.l Huasia throbs with pain!
' Wbv, Statesmen, wcy 7
By this fierce but fruitless fight,
On ! Leaders, on I
By your waste of loyal might,
On ! Leaders, on ! - -By
the blood that soaks the sod.
By the Brave that bite the clod,
c .. j -t1"2 ou fcne God!
On ! Leaders on!
By our Past, so bright-renown'd,
.. n? NorthJien, on! r
'By our future, starry-crown'd !
On ! Northmenv on ! ,
" By tfce South, deceived, misled, ' ,
Viy our Huudred Thousand Dead, -
t- Who for South and North have bledj
—RICHARD STORES WILLIE.
—RICHARD STORES WILLIE. All Sorts of Good Reading.
—RICHARD STORES WILLIE. All Sorts of Good Reading. RUNNING AN ENGINE
IN THE CONFEDERATE SERVICE.
[From "Thirteen months in the Rebel Army."]
The engineer, Charles Little, refused
to run the train on during the night, as
he was not. welt acquainted with the road,
and thought it dangerous. In addition,
the head light of the locomotive being
out of order, and the frozen oil, he could
not make it burn, and he could not pos
sibly run without it. v Colonel Williams
oTew-angry--prTj':iaMy BTjspecting him of
Union sentiment, and of wishing to de
lay the train, cursed him rather roundly,
and t length told him he 6hould run it
under a euajrd,. adding, to tie guard al
ready on 'the" engine,, "If any accident
occurs, shoot the cursed Yankee." Lit
tle 'was a Northern juan. Upon the
threat ttus enforced, the engineer seem
ed to yield, and prepared to start the
train. "As if having forgotten an impor
tant matter, he said, hastily, " Oh, I must
have some oil," and stepping down off the
locomotive,' walked toward the engine
house. "When he was about twenty yards
from the cars, the guard thought of their
duty, and one of thern followed Little,
arid called upon him to halt ; but in a
moment he was behind the machine fchop,
and off in the dense woods, in the deep
darkness." The commotion soon brought
the Colonel and a crowd, and while they
were cursing each other all round, the
firemen and most of the brakemen slip
ped eff, and here we were with no means
of getting ahead. All this time I had
6tood on the engine, rather enjoying the
melee, but taking no part in it, when
Colonel Williams, turning to me, said:
"Can not you run the engine?"
I replied, " No, sir."
You have been on it as we came
'' Yps, sir, ng matter of curiosity." .
"Don't you know how to Etart and
stop her?".. "-
" Yes, that is easy enough ; but if any
thing fchould go wrong I could not ad
just it." "- -
"No difference, no differenre, fir; I
-,.wf V.n at TV. :). -0
iv.-TVT.z -yrocti v.o -rfiorroT,
n-l ft'U raiiitj -V
' " " .- -!
tarry tike ths rc"'ro-r. ni!:ty o; m.mag-in"-a
train with a thousand men aboard,
nor will I be forced to.do it under a guard
who know nothing about an engine, and
who would be as likely to shoot me for
doing my duty as failing to do it; but if
you will find among the men a fireman,
and send away this guard, and come your
self on the locomotive, I will do the best
I can." ..... . . .
And now commenced my apprentice
ship to running a Secession railroad train,
with a rebel regiment on board. The
engine bfihaved admirably, and I began
to feel quit safe, for she obeyed every
command I gave her, as if she acknowl
edged me her rightful lord.
I could not but be startled at the po
sition in which I was placed, holding in
my hand the lives of more than a thou
sand men, running a train of twenty-five
cars over a road I had never seen, run
ning without a head light, and the road
so dark 1 could only see a rod or two
ahead, and, to crown all, knowing noth
ing of the business. Of course I ran
slowly, about ten miles an hour, and never
took my hand off the throttle or my eye
from the road. The Colonel at length
grew confident, and almost confidential,
and did most of the talking, as I had no
time for conversation. When we had
run about thirty miles, and everything
was going well, Colonel Williams conclu
ded to walk back, on the top of the box
cars, to a passenger car which was at
tached to the rear of the train and occu
pied by the officers.
This somewhat hazardous more he com
menced just as we struck a stretch of tres
tle work which carried the road over a
gorge of some fifty feet deep. '. As the
locomotive reached the end of the trestle
work tlie grade rose a little, and I could
see through or in a deep cut, which the
road ran into, an obstruction. What it
was, or how far ahead, I had almost no
conception; but quick as thought and
thought is quick as lightning under such
circumstances I whistled for the brakes,
shut off steam, and waited the ecllision.
I would have reversed the engine, but a
fear that a reversal of its action would
crawd up the cars on the trestle work
and throw them into the gorge blow,
forbade ; nor was there wisdom in jump-!
ing ' off, as the- steep embankments on
either side would prevent escape from the
wreck of the cars when the collision
came. All this was decided in an ins
tant of time, and I calmly awaited the
shock which I saw was unavoidable.
Though the speed, which was very mod
erate before, was considerably diminish
ed in the fifty yards between the obsta
cle and the head of the train, I aaw that
we would certainly run into the rear of
another train, which was the obstruction
I had seen
The first car struck, was loaded with
hay and grain. My engine literally split
it in two, throwing the hay right and left
and scattering the grain like chaff. The
next ear, loaded with horses, was in like
manner torn to pieces, and the horses
piled upon the sides of the road. The
third car, loaded with tents and camp
equipage, seemed to present greater re
sistance, as the locomotive only reached
it and came to a stand-still.
My emotions during these moments
were most peculiar. I watched the re
morseless pressure of the . engine with
almost admiration. It appeared to be
deliberate, and resolute, and iawtiable.
The shock was not great, the advance
seemed -very slow; but it plowed on
through car after car with a steady and
determined course, which suggested at
that critical moment a vast and resistless
living agent. When motion ceased, I
knew mv time of trial was near: for if
Colonel Williams had not been thrown
from the top of the cars into the gorge
below, he would soon be forward to exe
cute his threat to shoot me if an acci
dent occurred. ' I stepped out of the cab
on the railing running along to the smoke
stack so as to be out of view of one com
ing forward toward the engine, and yet
to have him in the full light of the lan
tern which hung in the cab.
Exactly as I had surmised for I had
seen a specimen of his fierce temper and
recklessness he came stamping and curs
ing, and jumping from the car on to the
tender, he drew a pistol and cried out,
" Where is that cursed engineer that did
this pretty job? I'll shoot him the min
ute I lay my eyes on him."
I threw up my six shooter so that the
light of the lantern shone upon it, while
he could see hut indistinctly, if at all, and
said with deliberation : " Colonel Will
iams, if you raise your pistol you are a
dead man ; don't stir, but listen to roe.
V c t;
! ; uiit niit ifr-drr word of shooting, '
or you go down."
"Don't shoot, don't shoot,' he cried, j
" Put up your pistol and so will I,' I
He did so, and came forward, and I
explained the impossibility of seeing the
train sooner, as I had no head light; and
that they had carelessly neglected to leave
a light on the rear of the other train. I
advised the choleric Colonel to go for
ward and expend his wrath and curses
on the ' conductor of the forward train,
that had stopped in such a place, and
sent out no signal-man in the rear, nor
even left a red light. He acknowledged
I was right I then informed him that I
was an officer in the Ordnance Depart
ment, and was in charge of a shipment cf
ammunition for Bowling Green, and woeld
have him court-martialed when we reach
ed there unless he apologized for the
threats he made. Thie information had
a calming effect on tbe Colonel, who at
heart was really a clever fellow.
The New Flax Machine.
The dearth of paper has naturally
given a strong impetus to all the branch
es of enterprise connected with its manu
facture, and at the same time is calling
into greater prominence such labor-fav-iog
machinery aa will most readily facil
itate the production of the indispensable
article. Mallory &, San ford ' new brake
an affair which is eo simple in its con
struction that the spectator oaly wonders
he himself did not invent it lonj ago is
noticeable for the vast amount of labor it
saves., . The operator a boy can work it
as well as a man lays on the machine
an armful of flax, and ia an instant it
comes out at the other end almost entire
ly free of the "shooves" the woody or
pithy matter- and without tow.
'' The fibre remains unbroken, coming
out much softer than the fibre dressed in
the old way. It is said by those who vee
this brake that it will break twenty to
twenty-five hundred weight of straw in
ten hours, while the saving of the fibre is
from six to ten pounds on every hundred
of straw. The machine, which is highly
praised by those fiiX-growers' and laill
owners who have tried it, pospescs the
additional advantage of perfctt security
to life and liab. There is nothing in it
operation to endanger the operator, who
cannot hurt himself unless he tries very
hard to do so. Paper makers will see
that it can also run the u si rotted western
straw, taking out nearly all the shooves.
and leaving the remainder perfectly free
from fibre. PM.
Greed of Gold.
Whbn Napokwi, al0Ht 1811, desired
to build a plno for the King of Rome.
near the barrier d Pswy, the shop of a
poor cobbler, named Simon, sIoikI ia the
way. Simon having learned what was
going on, demanded twenty thousand
francs for his tenement. The adminis
trator hesitated a few days, and then de
cided to give it ; but Sirartn, goaded by
the god of gain, now asked forty thousand
francs. This sum was more than two
hundred times the value, and the demand
was scouted. An attempt was made to
change the frontage, but being found im
possible, they went again to the cobbler,
who had raised his price to sixty thous
and franes. He was offered fifty thous
and, hut refused. The Emperor would
not give a franc mote, and preferred to
change his plans. The speculating son
of St. Crispin then saw his mistake, and
offered his property for fifty thousand
francs, forty thousand, coming down at
last to ten thousand. The disaster of
1814 happened and all thoughts of a pal
ace for the King of Home were abandon
ed. Some months after, Simon sold his
shop for one hundred and fifty francs,
and in a few days after the sale was re
moved to an insane asylum ; disappoint
ed avarice had driven him crazy.
Good Advice. The following, taken
from the Adams county Democratic Un
ion, should be remembered by all who
read it. . Don't sneer at your county pa
per when you confess you never examine
" Bead your county paper, before you
pronounce a hasty judgment condemning
it as worthless. How very few read their
county paper ! They take it up, glance
over it hastily to see if any of their
friends are married or dead, and if disap
pointed, away goes the poor paper into
the fire or behind the counter. Read it
and become better informed. Read it
and learn to love home institutions, and
feel an interest in them. Remember it is
your county paper, and to your interest
o keep it up and mnke it interesting.
How are jcu to uake it interesting? By I
givios to it, your hearty support, and m
'.: -isi-s your neighbor to do likewise."
Oo!.Y sorrow is such grace, without it
u.;t s u;;:i: thall be saved, and with it not
a man shall be damned. , If thy heart be
not broken in thee, thy guilt is not bro
ken from thee.
The War in Chins.
A NEW YORKER COMMANDING THE IMPERIAL
LETTER FROM COLONEL FORESTER THE SUCCESSOR OF
GENERAL WARD—EXTRAORDINARY TALE OF TRIALS
[From the New York Post.]
Some months ago we published an ac-
count of the romantic career and adren-!
tures of Mr. E. Forceter, a young man
from one of the northern counties of this
State, who, a few years since, went . to
China as a aailor, lad entering the Chi
nese service, re? to a high military rank.
He became a Chinese mandarin, the next
but one in rank to General Ward, and in
now his successor, thus keeping an Am-1
erican at the head of the Chinese army.
A letter just received by his relatives
in this city from Mandarin Forester, and
dated at Ningpo, September 18, gives a
romantic account of the perils and dan
gers he had passed. Having, with the
allien, attacked the city of Ching-poo,
which was captured with but little loss
to tho attaekers, Forester was placed in
charge of the captured city, with a garri
son of one thouiiAQd Chinese, while the
English and French held the city of Ca
ding with about the same number of
troop. Both of tbe plaoe were held for
some time, until th enemy that is the
rebel artsy approached to the number
of ISOjODO men. Ca-ding was evacuated
by the Eg!tsh and French, and occupi
ed by the rebel, eighty' thousand of
whom then advanced and surrounded
Ching-poo. In tbe meantime, Foreater
had received a pmall rcti-Jbrcetuent and
although the besieirera offered liberal
terms of capitulation, he held out for
twenty-one days, until ordered by Admi
ral Hope to evacuate, and proce-d to
Jungkoog. ' He was to leave the city
with an escort of six hundred men tad
three gunboats. . Two tours only were
allowed for ' th evacuation, while , the
orders were to burn tlte city while leav
ing it. - '
The evacuation was tmi stKrtsisful, ad
the beleaguered city was te els;!y sur
rounded te alrow itg brave defenders Jo
escape. Vrih otiien; meMr was msie
prisoner by the eemy.
"I will not," he write mi the letter
before u, "ouilertiike to rcr-otnt to you
my sufferings during the th:rty-oae days
following, but will leave you to imagine
thew, when I tell you that J i ihe imly
nne the. rvltrlt tnere ever kuotcm to yr, I
was five dnys without food or drink, and
in the hot sun, attd stark nuked all tbe
t me. My cap'.cr; wwehd di abent sir
hundred miles throngh many large cit'te,
where always in a state of utter nuJtty
I was shown to the people. All this
time, too, a chain was fastened around
my neck, and my hands were tied behind
my back. : If you want to find full par
ticulars of all this rcd the Chinese pa
pers. At kst, by my good luck and the
kindness of Admiral Hope," who sent a
man-of war after me, with a ransom of
muskets and powder valued at ten thou
sand dollars, I was released. This is a
kindness on the part of the English gov
ernment which I can never forget."
During the unlucky evacuation Mr.
Forrester lost his valine with 820.000,
and all his other property.
He says that the city of Ching-poo was
subsequently retaken by tho Imperialists,
with a great loss to the enemy, who had
a force of but one thousand 'men and
seven pieces of artillery. In this engage
ment, which was commanded by Forester,
he received a severe wound in the shoul
der. " It is the fourth wound in as many
months," he writes, " and I am not dead
The letter from which we are permit
ted to quote was written before the death
of General Ward, of whom his friend
Forester writes :
"General Ward's brother is in New
York, trying to procure a small navy.
He will be glad to see you for his broth
er's sake, who (Ward) is a good and
brave man, and has only thirteen wotmds,
received during the last two years. Three
balls are in his body now."
Colonel Forester was expecting official
despatches from Pekin with his papers of
promotion. He was preparing to lead a
storming party on the attack of Nankin,
the copital of the rebels the Richmond
of China. The sudden death of General
Ward, and the severe injuries received
by Colonel Burgerine, the next in com
mand, causes the chief command of the
Imperialist armies of China to devolve
on young Forester, the New York coun
try boy. His friends here, and the Am
erican public generally, will follow his
career with lively interest.
What three words did Adam use when
he introduced himself to Eve, and which
read the same backward and forward?
"Madam. I'm Adam."
Henry Ward Beecher on the Message.
Mr. Lincoln has not had a strong
cabinet. ' The members of it 'have not
been united in aims and influence. The
President has not had power to mainlaiv
discipline nor to give unity and energy to
its bureaus. The administration has been
loosely thrown togethcr; incoherent in
purpose, and even secretly divided by
selfish aspirations and ambitions, there
fore this government has struck rebellion
with open fingers and palm, and never
once with clenched fist.
Thit hat been the rice of the adminis
tration. It has not known iU sphere. It
has been wasting its time in studying out
problems that belocg to another depart
ment of government, and neglecting the
duties that belong peculiarly and exclu
sively to it.
Its business has been to m:te war.
That has been neglected. It is the duty
of Congress to legislate. The adminis
tration has been studying legislation. The
last session of Congress was largely occu
pied in investigating the conduct of the
war, in urging its energetic prosecution.
It was i other words, striving to do the
business of the executive. Now the
President, not to be outdone, repays it
by laying beforc ' it speculations upon
emancipation,: and ciphering eut ' pro
blems for the year nineteen hundred and
' And so we have a me.-aga ' that is full
of wise political speculations about preb-
abS sd possible changes of society, but
containing almost nothing about thing
as they' are-Hhiajts to' b doue oic
things which belong to the President's
duties, as emancipation speculations do
not the things o which the government
depend. We have en array of 800,000
wen.' We h.ve lost a year of campaigns
becsasc there was. noldy who had a
practical head to choose the right men
for the right place. . Dif eijline ran down,
Generals quarreled, and nobody had any
skill to manntrc tliera'; GererLi were ita-
heei'.e, disobedient, ad fatal to their own
army; and riotdy had pluck to reutove
them. Battle were tot by mutinies
right is the faoe of the eneay, and no
body dawd touch the r.rjtiner Generals;
battles were half fought asvd not followed
up the autumn was waited with inten
tional dallying by Generals that did not
believe in the policy of th administra
tion, and meant to defeat it by military
pretences; and nolnidy dared to remove
them till it was too late for any but a
winter campaign. A vast arsiy, uo!er a
hew commander, changos its base, and
adopts a new line, with every foretoken
of ' vietory, when it is paralyzed for wnt
of help from a department that kne been
preparing for war for a year and a half.
Tbe President hastens down to see the
General. The General rnns back to fee
the President. There is one supreme
and imperative want. The nation want
somebody that known how to conduct
We are an intensely practical" nation.
We" are essentially a wise business peo
ple; and we have an administration made
up of philosophical dreamers, and politi
The President's Message is very well
in its way. It is pleasing to know the
opinion of any intelligent man on public
topics. But President Lincoln was not
placed in the Presidential chair to read
lectures to Congress on political econo
my, nor to manage a war with reference
to New York politics, nor to undertake
to draw out on paper how we may settle
the questions of the next century. He is
the Executive. He is not the Thinker,
but the Doer. Congress is to think. The
President is the man of action.
A Poor Rich Man.
The Hartford Post, in speaking of Cy
rus Butler, Providence, says he was worth
some five millions of dollar?, yet he lived
poorer than most men not worth one
thousand dollars. Salt codfish was a
standard dish with him, and even in his
last sickness, it is said that he upbraided
those who had the care of h'.m for their
extravagance in providing delicacies for
him assuring them that he could not af
ford it. He was a bachelor, and a snuff
taker. His snuff he kept in a large box
and bought it by the cent's worth. There
was but one store in Providence, and that
on India Point, where he could get his
box filled for a cent, and the old man used
to patronize that store, more than a mi'e
distant, whenever hb box. required fill
ing- . . :
He who has a good son-in-law has
found a child ; he who has a bad one has
lost a daughter.
Editors often puff their friends to
death; and smokers do the same kind
service for themselves.
How Rothschild Brought the 'Old Lady of
Threadneedle-Street' to her Manners.
Ax amusing adventure is related as
having happened to the Bank of Eng
land, which had committed the great dis- j
respect of refusing to discount a bill of a
large amount, drawn by Anselra Roths
child, of Frankfurt, on Nathan Roths
child, of London. The bank had haugh
tily replied "that they discounted only
their own bills, and not those of private
pei ions." But they had to do with one
stronger than the bank. "Private per
sons I" exclaimed Nathan Rothschild,
when they reported to him the fact. "Pri
vate persons I I will make these gentle
men see what sort of private persons we
are t" Three weeks afterward Nathan
Rothschild who had employed the in
terval in gathering all the 5 notes he
could procure in England and on the
Continent presented himself at the bank
at the opening of the office. He drew
from his pocket-book a 5 note, and they
naturally counted out five sovereigns, at
the same time looking quite astonished
that the Baron Rothschild should have
uersonally troubled himself for such a
trifle. The Baron examined one by one
the coins, and put them into a little can
vass bag, then drawing out another note,
a third, tenth, a hundredth; he never
put the pieces of gold into the bag with
out scrupulously examining them, and, in
some instances, trying them in the bal
ance, as he' said, " the law gavo him the
right to do."' :The first pocket-book be
ing emptied,' and the first bag" fall, he
parted them to his clerk, aad received a
second, and thus continued till the close
of the bank. ' Tbe Baron had employed
seven hours to change 21.000. But a
he had also nine employocs ef his house
engaged in the same manner, it resulted
that the house of Rothschild had drawn
210.000 in gold from the bank, and that
he had eo occupied the tellers that no
other peiyon could change a single note.
Every thing which b?ars the stamp of
e vntricity has always pleased the Eng
lish. They were, tierefoce, the first day,
very much amused at the little pique of
Baron Rothschild. They, however, laugh
ed iee when they saw him return the
next day at the opentag of the bank,
flanked by bis nine clerks, and followed
thifl tie by ftany drayi, destined to
csrry away the speci. They laughed Do
longer, when the king ef bankers said,
with ironie simplicity: "These gentle
men refuse to psy my bills, I have sworn
not to keep theirs." "At their leisure
only I notify them that I have enough
to employ thorn for two aonths!" "For
two months 1" Eleven millions ia gold
drawn from the Bank of England, which
they have never possessed'" The bick
took alarm. The next morning, notice
appeared in the journals that henceforth
the bank would pay Rothschild's bills the
same as their owa.
This insect ia a friend to agriculture,
although it is considered to be disgusting
and poisonous, and many there are that
will start back and kcreeeh at the sight
of a spider, as if they were venomous
reptile. This probably is because tradi
tion and superstition have got possession
of our senses. We have been bitten by
spiders and received no more injury than
from a flea; yet there may be 6ome spi
ders whose bite is poisonous.
The spider has eight legs and eight
eyes ; it sheds its skin like the snake ; it
sometimes survives the Winter in a tor
pid state ; it is like other beasts of prey.
capable of enduring Lunger a long time;
its food consists of flies and mseoie which
otherwise would devour our crops. Lock
at the multitude cf webs in the morning
after the fog has left the air, and ycu will
sec your field nearly covered, and til these
little nets are set to catch insects. How
many thousands are daily destroyed?
Yet prejudice has cot such a hold on oar
minds that we frequently Etep aside to
crush them and destroy their nests.
Whoever is guilty cf doing so ia not ac
quainted with the history of the spider,
or they act agsinst their own interest
"Do you keep nails here?" asked a
sleepy-looking lad, talking into a hard
ware store, the other day.
"Yes," replied tho gentlemanly pro- j
prictor. "We keep all kinds of nails;
what kind will you have, Sir, and how
"Well," said the boy, sliding toward
the door, "I'll take a pound of fiDger
nails, and about a pound and a half of toe
m , 1 . i jV;..Tv 1 . . ,. X - '
JLHEuero OOClorj iuuiu, iu uc
healthy and vigorous, a man, like a tree,
must take root.
A iROP of the blackest ink may diffuse
a light r.8 brilliant an the light pf day.
The Spider. Boy Enterprise.
BoTi of energy and enterprise are the boys
who become men of prominecce and wealth
these progressive times. If American boys
would learn the art of taking care of them
selves, they must acquire the knack" of
earning their own bread and batter," of be
ing on thi look out for every "smart charce
that xay turn up," if they would be honored
When the servant of a friend of ours an
swered the door bell one day last week, she
found a little boy with a shovel on hi3 shoul
der, on the step.
"I want to put in your coal," said the boy.
" W haven't got any," said the girl.
" But it ia cotninp," returned the boy.
These rvant was puzzled, and summoned
her mistress, wbo had do sooner appeared
than the boy accosted her.
" If joh please Mo4ia there is a load
coal coming to your house. Your husband
ordered it this morning. I got tbe number,
and came ahead of the cart to get the job of
putting it in, if you please." . .
Of course, madam could not refuse so en
terprising a youth, and the job was given to
him. In a few minutes, sure enough, the
col was " dumped" at the door, and the little
"bever" wm buwly at work. Before he
waj through, eight boya came to apply for
tbe seme job. .
A fair representative of Young America,
that boy. He may be a millionaire, or
ha may be a congressman, or a cabinet offi
cer, or perchaace, a candidate for the Presi
dency. Somebody said, la an Eastern Magazine,
that the PreaJear. of the United States twen
ty year hnoe, wu running barefooted iu
some Western wild.
. A slight mistake. Ha was a little coal
!)?aver ia Cincinnati.
A Heavy Officer.
T other day, coming in from Milwaukee,
Olin was -c aductor of the train, which bore,
beside a large load of passengers, a gold-laced
chap belonging to Pope's staff. He was a
dppr little fellow, with style, buthe couldn't
reit in Ag the conductor was passing
through too car, aaid Mr. Staff Officer :
'' Looh Leah, conduct- 1 I paid for a first
c1m c&w I purchased a first-clagg ticket, and
waat a better, caw than this to ride in I!! 1
" Thj ia firat- cl ear, air." ;
. "Well, I doa't smuI Thi ia a secoad-cki
" Did you ever nee a econd-clasa car cush-iosed-
aad carpeted oesupidd by gentlemen
ud ladies, before V
"Dcu't know bat I want two seats
tbee are all (Mt, so I can't turn them. It ia
ot firat-clasa caw,"
"Who are you, Sir?" . ..
"I am oat ot Gea Tope' stair, sir!"
" Well, it, I aa twrry you are not pleased.
Hl the Riilroad Company known you were
corning, you should have had a new cor built
exprily Zjt you with something very tofl
to lean j-u-ir hvd on. If you don't like this
train, I will let you stop o3" and wait for a
irrtt-eluM eetie which will be on the next
This being a staj officer is a bi thing
where a (ellw on tike tyle, and di it more
pay than Hood. La Croft Democrat.
What Music Did.
A Mis'STtn was once railed to officiate in a
coM and dreary church. When he entered
the wind bowled, and loose clapboards and
windows c!ttred. The pulpit stood high
above the first- flr; there was no stove, but
few per!en in the charch, and thoce few. beat
ing their hacd and feet to keep them from
freezing. He asked himself, " Can I preach ?
Of what ue can it be? Can these two or
three aingers ia the gallery sing the words if
read a hymn ? I concluded to make the
trial, and I read :
" Jctw, lover of my sotil."
They corarcenced ; and the sound of a sin
gle female voice has followed me with an in
'tesoribably pleasing sensation ever since, and
will while I live. The voice, intonation, ar-
ticu'ation, and expression, seemed to me per
fect. I was wsrm-d inside and out, and for
the time ww !ot in rapture. I had heard of
the individual ami voice before ; but hearing
in this dreary situation made it doubly
grateful. Never did I preach with more sat
A tumors hct came out lately before thi
Court of Exchequer, in Englan i The pro
prietor of a theater at IIo.Tton quarreled with
Mr, TTil Je, le?ee of Liotp.r 3 the " trapezift,"
to a couirri.;ion dje to him, when itwas
shown in evidence that Jlr. Wilde paid Lao
turd 200 a week. for his services at the Al
hambra, aud 20 a night for performar.cts
any where else. In other word.", a Trench
acrobat receive? a salary greater than the in
come of the Archbishop of Canterbury, and
three time.' that of the Premier, for jumping
from one rope to another at the risk of hi
neck. It is ttvice as much as that of the
Preside::! of the United States: six times
that of any of his Secretaries ; and infinitely
greater thsn the professional income of any
clergyman, lawyer, judge, general or editor
the whole counrrr.
TJVcte AtiK's Scale. The negro is rising
the scale of Ur:c!e Abe's mind. Ife styled
In IS"9. the negroes ;
In lSfiO, the "eolort-d inr.u ;"
Tn the '' int'jlivtTit contrabands ;"
In 1PC2. "free A:n-ric?r, of African lie